Vampires and Werewolves and Pirates, Oh My!
by pingo1387
Summary: A series of standalone drabbles with members of the crew as werewolves or vampires, based on "Yellow Eyes and Green Tail" and "Cursed Life." Now with every human Strawhat as a werewolf or vampire in at least one chapter, plus Vivi and Werewolf!Law. Rated M for some violent scenes.
1. The Pound

**Aaaaaye [drunkenly points at readers] **

**These drabbles are based on my stories ****Yellow Eyes and Green Tail and Cursed Life****, stories featuring Werewolf!Zoro and Vampire!Sanji respectively. I recommend reading those ones first if you haven't already, since they give some info on vampires and werewolves.**

**/s/10737063/1/Yellow-Eyes-and-Green-Tail**

**/s/9575933/1/Cursed-Life**

**So these all take place when the crew has nine members, and none of these will be post-timeskip unless specifically stated/requested. Also, just assume that Zoro has made a hole in his pants so he can leave his tail out. More supernatural crewmembers will appear later, so I'll put who's what at the beginning with the caption "Non-humans" (not counting Brook and Chopper).**

**Non-humans: WW Zoro**

* * *

"Which way did he go!?"

"This way . . . no, um—this way?"

"Can't you get his scent?"

"I lost it!"

Chopper and Brook screeched to a stop in the middle of the dim, deserted road and looked at each other, their faces illuminated by the full moon.

"I . . ." Chopper looked down and turned back into his small form. "I'm sorry . . . we lost him . . ."

Brook knelt and patted Chopper's head reassuringly. "Don't worry about it, Chopper-_san_. It doesn't look like anyone's out but us tonight. Besides, there's a small forest just over there—with any luck, he'll go there."

Chopper nodded. "And he'll come back in the morning . . ."

Brook nodded and stood. "Now, let's get back. You should get some sleep. We can worry about him in the morning."

* * *

The next morning, Sanji called everyone for breakfast. They trudged to the kitchen and sat around, waiting for food.

"Hm?" Sanji muttered, looking around. "Wolf-boy's sleeping in, right?"

Brook started whistling.

"How the hell do you whistle without any lips?" Usopp demanded. "Never mind, where _is_ Zoro? He wasn't in the men's room."

"Um . . ." Chopper looked down.

Nami folded her arms and stared at Brook and Chopper. "You two are in for a beating if he got away."

"I'm sorry!" Chopper cried. "I know we were supposed to stay inside with Zoro because we're docked at a town, and we _were_ doing that, and then I opened the door to get something, and Zoro came outside, and then he noticed the town and he jumped off the ship, and then we ran after him but I lost his scent—"

Robin sighed. "I really hope he didn't attack anyone."

"Anyway," Brook continued, "a thousand apologies. Chopper-_san_ and I figured that no one else was out last night, and Zoro-_san_ would come back here in the morning."

"So where is he?" Luffy exclaimed.

Brook shrugged.

"You'd think he'd be back by now," Franky muttered. "This is _not_ super."

"You don't suppose he was attacked by the villagers?" Robin murmured thoughtfully.

"If he's not back by the time we're done, someone needs to go look for him," Nami said. "And Brook, Chopper?"

The two looked up.

Nami punched them.

* * *

"So . . ." Luffy looked around. He and Sanji had gotten the job of looking for their missing werewolf. "Where is he?"

Sanji rolled his eyes. "If we _knew_, we wouldn't be standing here."

He quickly stopped a passerby. "Hey, you, did you see a big green wolf around last night?"

The man looked confused. "A wolf? I didn't know we had a wolf around here." He suddenly looked thoughtful. "But . . . I _did_ see the dogcatchers out last night. I live next to the pound, see, and I noticed them bringing in a big dog. Didn't see its color."

Sanji raised an eyebrow. "Can you show us where the pound is?"

* * *

Luffy and Sanji eventually found and entered the pound. A man at a desk greeted them with a bored expression.

"Was a green wolf brought in last night?" Sanji asked without preamble.

"He's yours?" the man asked. "Yeah, that weirdo's in the back." He handed Sanji a key.

Luffy and Sanji hurried down the rows until they found Zoro. He was in human form, curled up on the blankets, facing away from them, his green tail twitching.

"Zoro!" Luffy exclaimed happily, setting off a few dogs barking in the kennels near them.

Zoro sat up and looked around. When he spotted Luffy and Sanji, he flushed and quickly covered himself with a blanket.

Sanji sat down hard and started cracking up.

"Shut your mouth, cook," Zoro hissed, obviously still exhausted. "Get me out of here already."

Luffy grinned and crouched by Zoro's kennel, poking his hand through the bars. "Hi, Zoro! How'd you get yourself stuck here?"

Zoro growled at Sanji for a moment before answering. "I guess Chopper and Brook told you I got away? Well, I got hit with some sleeping dart, and I woke up here a couple hours ago. I called that asshole at the desk over to let me out, but he said that he can't let me out because I have a tail."

Luffy laughed.

"Get me _out_ of here!"

Sanji, still shaking from laughter, crawled over to the lock and used the key. The door swung open and Zoro crawled out, holding the blanket around his waist. He stood shakily and stretched out his cramped legs.

Luffy and Sanji brought him back to the front desk.

"Make sure you put a collar and leash on him next time," the man said, barely looking up.

Sanji snickered. Zoro growled at the man. "I am _not_ a goddamn _pet_!"

"Zoro, heel!" Luffy commanded. "Back to Sunny! Come!"

"Luffy," Zoro growled. "You are _not_ helping."

Sanji laughed at Zoro all the way back to the ship.


	2. Werewolf Luffy

**Non-humans: WW Zoro, WW Luffy**

* * *

"Luffy, cut it out!" Zoro snapped, baring his teeth as his captain tried to steal some meat from him yet again.

Luffy stuck out his tongue. "No way! This is my mission!"

"Luffy, you have your own meat," Sanji muttered.

"But it's my mission to take some of Zoro's," Luffy said patiently.

Sanji rolled his eyes.

"Calm down, boys," Nami muttered, sipping her drink.

Luffy finally grabbed a piece of ham. "Haha! Mission accomplished!"

Zoro quickly leaned over and snatched the meat with his mouth from Luffy's hand, chomping down quickly and retreating with the meat between his teeth and a satisfied expression.

"Mission _what_ now?" he asked smugly, swallowing the ham.

Luffy pouted and examined his finger. "Zoro, you bit me!"

Drops of blood oozed from his finger.

"Yeah, well—" Zoro suddenly paled and stared at Luffy. "I _what_?"

Chopper jumped up and ran over to Luffy, checking his finger. "It doesn't look too bad. I think it'll be fine in a day or two."

"Oh, no," Zoro whispered. "Please, let it only work in wolf form . . ."

"What are you—?" Sanji's eyes widened. "Shit."

Luffy frowned and looked around. "What's wrong? It's just a . . ." he suddenly blinked and swayed, looking ill. "Little . . ."

His head hit the table. Usopp screamed.

"_Fuck_!" Zoro yelled. He stood, knocking his chair over, and seized Luffy under the armpits, dragging his captain away from the table and out the door as quickly as possible.

"What does he think he's doing?" Franky demanded, standing.

The crew quickly followed Zoro out the door and found that he'd managed to drag Luffy to the railing.

"Zoro, you're not allowed to drown Luffy," Nami said nervously.

Zoro ignored her and stared at Luffy expectantly.

About ten seconds later, Luffy twitched and raised his head.

"What . . . hap—" he suddenly heaved and lost his dinner over the side of the ship. Zoro rubbed his back comfortingly.

The others crowded around them and checked on Luffy.

"What happened?" Luffy asked, recovering. He looked around. "What's wrong?"

Zoro sighed. "The full moon's in two days."

Luffy stared at Zoro. He stared at his finger. He stared at Zoro again. He looked at Zoro's tail. Suddenly his eyes widened.

"I'm a werewolf now?" he whispered.

Zoro slowly nodded. "Luffy . . . I'm so sorry—"

"Yay!" Luffy exclaimed. "Where's my tail?"

Nami groaned. "This is _not_ a 'yay' situation!"

"Sure it is," Luffy said. "I'm just like Zoro now!"

Usopp sighed.

* * *

On the eve of the full moon, both Luffy and Zoro were resting up in the men's bedroom.

"Zoro?"

"Hm?"

"I feel like crap."

"Yeah."

"Does this happen every month?"

"Yeah."

"Oh."

* * *

Finally, night fell. The moon began to rise over the horizon.

"Right," Usopp said. "So, you two will stay out on deck. I'll be on lookout up above."

Zoro and Luffy nodded, looking ill. Usopp glanced at the full moon, shrieked, and scrambled up to the crow's nest.

"Good luck!" he called before dragging a light weight over the opening.

The others were already inside and sleeping. Zoro started stripping.

"Take them off," he said, gesturing to Luffy's clothes. "They'll only—ugh—" he put a hand to his head. "Get in the way."

Luffy shrugged and quickly stripped as well. Soon they were sitting together on the deck, back-to-back, waiting for the inevitable.

"Zoro . . ."

"What?"

"My stomach hurts."

"Yeah."

"My head hurts too, and I'm really hot."

"Yeah."

"Does this happen every—"

"Yes."

Luffy sighed.

Not even ten minutes later, the transformations began.

* * *

Wolf Zoro and Wolf Luffy saw each other and stared suspiciously. They sniffed each other and each decided that the other was not hostile.

_Who are you?_ Wolf Zoro demanded.

_Don't know name_, Wolf Luffy admitted, wagging his tail. _Who you?_

_Zoro. Where are Brook and Chopper?_

_Don't know. Who they?_

_Friends._

_We can be friends!_

_. . . You want to play?_

_Yes!_

* * *

Zoro and Luffy eventually woke up with the sun, curled up on the ground near each other. Luffy sat up, yawned, and blinked. "Hmm . . . oh, I remember what happened."

Zoro glanced over at his captain, who now had a fluffy black tail and yellow eyes.

Luffy grinned. "That was fun . . . hey, why does everything look weird?"

"Colorblindness," Zoro said, standing. "Get dressed."

Luffy stood slowly and turned to examine his new tail. Zoro tossed his captain's clothes at him. "We're going to bed."

Luffy yawned. "Okay."

* * *

Luffy and Zoro finally got up for lunch and wandered into the galley. Sanji looked up.

"Hey, wolf-boys," he said. "Lunch's ready."

They sat down with the rest of the crew and began devouring their food.

"How'd it go?" Nami asked.

Luffy grinned. "It was fun! Zoro and I got to play together!"

Zoro shrugged. "What he said."

"Ooh, your eyes are yellow too," Usopp said, leaning over.

"They are? Neat!" Luffy exclaimed. "Hey, Usopp—" he gestured to his ear.

Usopp reached over and scratched behind his friend's ear.

"Mmm . . . feels good . . ." Luffy closed his eyes and nuzzled against Usopp's hand.

Nami quietly took out a camera and snapped a picture.


	3. Monster

**Non-humans: WW Zoro**

* * *

"Zoro, tuck in your tail," Nami ordered as they docked at a small village.

Zoro scowled as he stuffed his tail into his pants. "I _know_."

"Let's go drinking," Usopp suggested cheerfully, slapping Zoro on the back.

"Yeah!" Luffy exclaimed.

"Come on, wolf-boy, I'll pay," Sanji said.

"I'm coming too!" Chopper exclaimed.

Zoro grinned. "Sure, let's go."

The girls, Franky, and Brook watched the group go.

"I'll go with them," Robin said softly.

"Thank you," Nami said with a sigh.

* * *

The six sat around a table at the bar and ordered drinks, chatting cheerfully.

"You sure you don't want a bone?" Sanji muttered to Zoro, grinning.

"Shut that mouth," Zoro snapped.

The bartender served up their drinks.

"Gimme some," Luffy said happily, reaching for Zoro's drink. Zoro slapped his hand away and held his drink out of reach.

"Zoro, come on," Luffy whined, stretching his arm out. Zoro held the drink farther away. Soon he was leaning back in his chair with Luffy's arm stretching over him. In another minute, Luffy fell into Zoro and crashed to the floor.

"Are you two alright?" Robin asked, leaning over.

Zoro straightened his clothes and scowled at Luffy. "I'm fine," he muttered. Half of his drink had sloshed all over the floor. The other patrons were staring at them.

Luffy grinned and helped Zoro up. "Sorry!"

They got back into their chairs.

"Hey, buddy, what's up with that tail?"

They turned at the sudden question from a wide-eyed patron. The chatter around the pub died down as everyone looked around and spotted Zoro's twitching tail—it had come free during the scuffle.

"I—uh," Zoro said nervously.

"Hey, his eyes are yellow," one of the other patrons exclaimed, pointing at Zoro.

The bar was suddenly full of hisses and murmurs.

"Does that mean . . . ?"

"A tail, yellow eyes . . ."

"Isn't he a . . . ?"

"A werewolf!" someone cried suddenly.

Zoro clenched his hand around his mug's handle.

The patrons began jeering and yelling.

"Beast!"

"Get out of here!"

"Wild animal!"

"Monster!"

"You don't deserve to live!"

Zoro stared at the table, his expression dark and his hands clenched into fists.

"Demon!"

"Don't bring your curse into our town!"

"Damn monster!"

"Just go and die!"

"HE'S NOT A MONSTER!"

Luffy had stood and was glaring angrily at everyone in the bar. Some of the jeers and taunts died down.

"Luffy, it's fine," Zoro muttered.

"He's _not_ a monster," Luffy repeated. "He . . . he really likes being scratched behind the ears!"

The whole bar went quiet. Zoro looked up at Luffy and his cheeks turned pink. Sanji snickered.

Someone began laughing. This set everyone else off.

"Don't laugh!" Chopper cried, standing up as well with tears in his eyes. "He's not a monster—when I'm too tired to walk, he carries me piggyback!"

Zoro's face turned red. Sanji's shoulders shook with silent laughter.

"He listens to my stories even if he pretends to be sleeping!" Usopp exclaimed, standing up and knocking his chair over. "And he puts up with our crap!"

"He likes fish, but not chocolate!"

"He's super strong!"

"He can't tell left from right!"

"His tail wags when he's happy!"

"He'll protect us if we're in danger!"

The three fired off these statements and more for a good two minutes. Zoro's face continued reddening and Sanji continued to laugh silently at his obvious discomfort.

"I think you three have made your point," Robin said softly. "Shall I break their necks?"

Luffy was about to answer when someone exclaimed, "I thought I recognized them!" The man pulled out a newspaper and shook out the latest editions of bounty posters.

"Monkey D. Luffy, 300,000,000 beris," he read aloud, his hands shaking. "R-Roronoa Zoro, 120,000,000 beris . . . Tony Tony Chopper, 50 beris . . . N-Nico Robin, 80,000,000 beris!"

"What about me?" Sanji muttered.

"I don't see yours," mumbled the man.

Everyone in the bar paled and stared at the Strawhats.

"Come on, let's go," Luffy said. He and the others left the bar, abandoning their unfinished drinks at the table and leaving the other patrons in stunned silence.

"You didn't have to do that," Zoro muttered, scratching the back of his head. "Those guys were morons."

"Yes, we did," Luffy said fiercely.

Chopper nodded. Robin shrugged. "Well, honestly, I would have preferred it if I could have broken _something_, but you three did a good job."

"Robin-_chwan_'s so lovely when she's angry," Sanji sighed.

". . . Thanks," Zoro muttered.

They grinned.

* * *

**I'm taking requests now! You can request a drabble in a review or PM. Please note that it's possible I won't accept every request.**


	4. Fun with Werewolf Luffy

**Judy Budgie644 requested more Werewolf!Luffy :) **

**Non-humans: WW Zoro, WW Luffy**

* * *

Luffy stared intensely at the meat on his plate. He frowned, sniffed it, and poked it.

"Sanji?" he said.

"Mm?"

"This isn't good."

Sanji looked up from the sink, annoyed. "What?"

Zoro glanced over at Luffy's meat and saw the problem. "He means it needs to be cooked less."

"Oh, right. Sorry, Luffy." Sanji took the meat, stored it in the fridge, and set up more in a pan. "It'll be ready soon."

Luffy's tail wagged happily. "Thanks!"

* * *

Usopp carefully scooted away from Luffy as his friend sat down for a game of cards. Luffy frowned at him. "What?"

"I'm just being careful," Usopp mumbled.

Luffy stared at him for a moment before getting it. "Oh . . . Usopp, don't worry, I won't bite you!"

"Well, _you_ got bit by accident—"

"I'll be extra-careful," Luffy promised.

Usopp sighed. "Okay . . ."

They played a round of Old Maid. Luffy lost since he kept picking the old maid from Usopp's cards.

"You really stink at this," Usopp said cheerfully, laying down his last pair. "I win!"

Luffy frowned. "Oh, well."

Usopp raised his eyebrows as his eyes traveled to Luffy's midriff.

"What's up?"

Usopp pounced on Luffy and proceeded to rub his stomach like a dog's. Luffy laughed with delight as he fell onto his back and his leg started kicking.

"Who's a good boy?" Usopp joked as he rubbed.

Luffy grinned in response as his tail thumped on the deck.

* * *

Luffy stared suspiciously at the cutlery laid out for him. The others noticed and looked around.

"What's wrong?" Nami asked.

Luffy narrowed his eyes at the fork. "Why doesn't that burn me?"

"What?" Franky asked.

Luffy poked the fork cautiously. "Silver burns, right? I tried picking up some of those coins earlier, but I got hurt. Why doesn't this stuff burn?"

The others were silent, slightly in shock that Luffy had asked a relevant and (fairly) intelligent question.

"Huh, I never thought about that," Zoro muttered, picking up his fork and examining it. "Why _doesn't_ silverware burn?"

"That stuff's not real silver," Sanji explained, coming around to the table and serving up the meal. "It's mostly pewter."

"Oh," Luffy said. "But why's it called silverware?"

"Mostly the color," Sanji said, setting down Luffy's and Zoro's plates (with ample amounts of rare meat). "But some silverware really is made of silver. We don't have that stuff because it's really expensive and it's way too hard to clean."

"Oh, I'd always wondered about that," Chopper exclaimed. "So it's not _real_ silver."

"If it were, I would've sold it a _long_ time ago," Nami said.

* * *

"Go, Luffy!" Usopp threw the stick across the ship. Luffy darted after it happily.

"What are you idiots doing?" Nami muttered, coming around. "You're too loud."

"Sorry!" Usopp exclaimed as Luffy ran back with the stick. He threw it again. "We're playing fetch. Zoro's hiding below deck . . . he said something about not being tempted again."

"Well, can you at least keep it down?" Nami complained. "Robin and I are trying to relax over here."

"Sure," Usopp said. "Go long!"

He heaved the stick across the ship with all his might.

"Where do you even get these sticks?" Nami muttered.

_Splash_

"Oh, it landed in the water," Usopp said. "Guess I don't know my own strength!" He flexed his arm.

_SPLASH_

"And what was _that_?" Nami snapped.

Usopp looked around. Luffy was nowhere to be seen.

"Oh, crap!" he cried. He ran across the ship and dove in the water after Luffy.

Nami sighed and went to get the rope ladder.

* * *

"They're so noisy," Nami muttered, looking over to where Luffy, Usopp, Chopper, Sanji, Brook, and Zoro were talking and yelling about something.

"I can get Luffy and Zoro to be quiet," Robin offered without looking up from her book.

"Oh yeah?" Nami asked interestedly.

Two hands suddenly sprouted near Luffy's and Zoro's heads. They looked around, startled. The others watched curiously.

The hands started scratching the werewolves behind their ears. Almost immediately they quieted down and closed their eyes. Luffy smiled with contentment.

"I guess we'll talk about it later," Usopp muttered. "But I'm telling you, I'm _right_."

"You are _not_," Sanji muttered as he, Usopp, Brook, and Chopper left Luffy and Zoro by themselves.


	5. Bones and Depression

**dragoscilvio requested something to do with bones and separation anxiety/depression.**

**Non-humans: WW Zoro**

* * *

Zoro raised his head, sniffing, and wandered into the kitchen, where Sanji was preparing dinner.

"Go away," Sanji said without preamble. "It's not ready yet."

Zoro scowled. His eyes fell upon the leftover bones from whatever creature Sanji was cooking up.

"I said, go—" Sanji looked up and stopped talking in surprise when he saw Zoro sitting at the table, gnawing on one of the bones.

"What are you doing?"

Zoro looked up, glanced down at the bone, and flushed. "Nothing," he muttered.

Sanji smirked. "Should I set these aside for later?"

Zoro hesitated and nodded. "That'd be nice."

Later at dinner, after Luffy and Usopp had finished laughing, Chopper told Zoro and Sanji that Zoro wasn't allowed to chew on bones anymore, since it would wear down his teeth and if he swallowed any it might cause complications. Zoro scowled heavily and promptly started growling when Sanji suggested getting chew toys in the next town.

* * *

"Alright, you guard the ship," Nami ordered Zoro as they docked at a small town.

Zoro scowled. "Fine, whatever."

"Be a good guard dog and you get a treat," Sanji said, smirking.

Zoro briefly growled at him. The rest of the crew dispersed, leaving Zoro all alone.

As their chattering voices slowly faded away, Zoro's tail drooped. He tried to lean against the railing to take a nap, but sleep would just not come.

He eventually began pacing the deck, biting his lip. When would they come back? They hadn't said when they were coming back, had they? Were they just going to leave him all alone there for hours, days, weeks?

Zoro peeked over the railing but saw none of the crew. He watched the small crowds. His tail would begin to wag if he spotted a mop of black hair, a blond head, a pink hat, but would soon droop again when it became clear that the only faces in the crowd were strangers.

Would they be here for lunch? Were they going to get lunch in town? How long would he be alone?

He began pacing the deck again and wandered all over the ship.

_Two hours later_

"That was a fun walk," Luffy said cheerfully, strolling alongside Usopp and Chopper, who nodded in agreement.

They met up with Nami, who was leading Sanji, who was carrying several shopping bags.

"You've been busy," Usopp muttered, raising an eyebrow. "Sanji, you want some help with that?"

"Never!" Sanji declared. "I will shoulder Nami-_swan_'s burden alone!"

Usopp shrugged. "Well, if you wanna be an idiot, I guess it's none of my business."

"Look who's talking," Sanji snapped.

Robin, Brook, and Franky soon joined them.

"I found a good bookstore," Robin said with a smile. "But nothing that I wished to purchase."

Brook chuckled to himself.

"What did you do?" Nami asked suspiciously.

Franky sighed. "He found a pocket-watch and decided to point at people while staring at it."

"Oh, you should have seen the looks on their faces," Brook chuckled.

Usopp whacked his shoulder. "Come on, that's really creepy!"

Brook took out the watch, opened it, and pointed at Usopp.

"Cut it out!"

Brook chuckled and put it away. "I'll save this for another time. Yo-ho-ho-ho!"

The group finally reached the Sunny.

"Zoro!" Usopp yelled. "We're back! Can you drop down the ladder?"

There was a loud _thump-thump-thump_ of running and Zoro's face appeared over the railing.

"The rope ladder?" Usopp prompted.

Zoro quickly tossed the ladder over the side and the crew climbed up (though Luffy and Brook simply leapt up and over the side).

"Glad to see you back," Zoro said.

Though his face was stoic, the others couldn't help notice that his tail was wagging unusually hard.

"Did you . . . miss us?" Robin asked, putting her head in her hand and smiling.

". . . No . . ." Zoro mumbled.

His tail was still wagging very hard as he looked around at the crew as if to check that everyone was there.

"Your tail says otherwise," Nami said with a raised eyebrow. "Sanji-_kun_, you can drop the bags off in front of Robin's and my room."

"Of course, Nami-_swan_!" Sanji cried. He did so and then hopped down to the kitchen. "I'll get something on the stove!"

But he had no sooner entered than he came back out, looking disgruntled. "What the hell happened in there?"

Zoro looked away. The others went to check.

The kitchen was a mess. The chairs were knocked over and the couch cushions had been pulled out and thrown on the floor.

"Zoro, what the hell?" Usopp exclaimed, turning to the werewolf.

"What?" Zoro asked, still not looking at him.

"You know what!"

Robin vanished for a moment and reappeared soon. "Several books are strewn on the floor of the library," she said with a sigh. "I'll clean it up later."

"Whoa, it's a mess in here too!" Luffy exclaimed, peeking into the men's room. The blankets were scrunched up on the beds and the couch cushions there had also been thrown to the floor.

Everyone slowly turned to look at Zoro, who quickly turned away from them, his face red.

"Zoro-_san_?" Brook said softly.

"Are you sure you didn't miss us?" Chopper whispered.

Zoro scratched the back of his neck and finally turned to face them. "_Fine_, I missed you guys!" he exclaimed. "I mean—you left me all alone here, you didn't tell me when you were coming back—!"

"So you threw a temper tantrum?" Franky asked.

"I—I just got a bit upset is all," Zoro mumbled.

"You're helping clean this up, you hear me?" Nami hissed, striding over to him and grabbing his ear.

"Ow-ow! Geez, okay!" Zoro snarled. "Let go!"

Robin, Nami, and Brook went to clean up the library; Zoro, Luffy, and Franky headed for the men's room; and Sanji, Chopper, and Usopp went to straighten out the kitchen.

Soon enough the ship was straightened up and everyone was settled in the dining room for lunch.

"Sorry you got lonely, Zoro!" Luffy exclaimed. "But try not to mess stuff up next time, okay?"

Zoro scowled. "I wasn't . . ."

His voice trailed off as Luffy started scratching behind his ear. He leaned into it contently.

"You know, I've heard that dogs tend to become lonely without their companions around," Robin said softly.

"Okay, so someone has to stay with Zoro from now on," Nami said, "if only to keep him from throwing a temper tantrum again."


	6. Squirrels and Howling

**dragoscilvio requested squirrels and howling.**

**Non-humans: WW Zoro**

* * *

Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, and Usopp walked down the path in the woods. Sanji had asked the other three to help him gather edible plants, but they had abandoned this not long after they'd started in favor of exploring.

"Are you guys even helping anymore?" Sanji grumbled, his arms full of plants.

"No," Usopp said bluntly.

Sanji scowled for a moment, and then turned to look at Zoro, who was following Luffy. He smirked. "So I guess this means you're the beta wolf?"

Zoro turned, automatically scowling. "What?"

"You know, the names for wolves in a pack—the alpha is the leader, the omega is the outcast—the beta is second-in-command."

"Wouldn't that be me?" Usopp asked.

"You're not a wolf," Sanji pointed out.

"Neither am I," Zoro muttered.

Sanji rolled his eyes. "Fine, the beta _werewolf_, happy?"

"No."

"But since Zoro's the only werewolf, doesn't that make him the alpha?" Usopp pointed out.

Sanji scowled. "No way could that stupid moss-head ever be an alpha."

Zoro turned and growled, "What was that, swirly brow?"

Luffy turned around and walked backwards as he watched the ensuing fight with interest.

Suddenly Zoro was on the ground, knocked down by one of Sanji's kicks. Sanji blinked in surprise. "Hey, you were supposed to block that, idiot."

Zoro sprang to his feet and looked around. "I got distracted," he muttered. "I saw something . . ."

The others froze and looked around, expecting an enemy to leap out at any moment.

"I don't see anything," Luffy murmured, looking around.

"A-Are you _sure_ you saw something?" Usopp whispered.

Zoro nodded, cocking his head to listen.

There was a rustling and everyone jumped, focusing on the small bush. It moved again and Zoro began sniffing the air, narrowing his eyes.

Suddenly something leapt out from the bush. The others yelled out in shock—

—only to see that it was merely a squirrel.

"You scared us for nothing!" Usopp exclaimed.

"There it is!" Zoro exclaimed.

Luffy blinked. "Huh?"

The squirrel squeaked and ran into the woods.

"Get back here, you rodent!" Zoro charged after it, disappearing among the greenery. A moment later the rest of the group heard the faint yell of, "There's a whole nest of them!"

Luffy cracked up.

"Usopp, go get him," Sanji sighed, picking up the plants he'd dropped.

Usopp grumbled, but went after Zoro. Sanji and Luffy continued on their way, snickering at Zoro's antics.

* * *

Zoro sat on the deck above the kitchen, staring up at the moon. He was on lookout duty that night.

He shifted his position and shivered slightly. His tail was puffed up with the chill of the night.

The others were already asleep . . .

_Awooooooooooooooooooooo_

The ones in the men's room sat up, awoken by the eerie noise from outside.

"What the hell was that?" Luffy exclaimed, looking around.

Usopp shivered. "That was so creepy!"

Brook shivered as well. "I've got goose bumps now . . . ah, I forgot, I have no skin!"

_Awoooooooooooooooo_

"Isn't that Zoro?" Chopper whispered. He was shivering, creeped out by the sound.

"Howling at the moon or something?" Sanji muttered. "He doesn't have to wake all of us up."

Outside there was the sound of a door opening and a _thunk_ like a coconut being hit. The howling was abruptly broken by a yelp and a snarl.

"Cut out that howling!" they heard Nami yell from outside. Apparently she had thrown something at Zoro's head.

Zoro grumbled something in response.

"Well, get someone else to do it!"

A moment later Zoro came back into the men's room, mumbled, "Someone else go out there, the witch's making me stay inside with you guys," and fell asleep curled up on his side.

* * *

**Before I get like ten reviews about this, Zoro was NOT howling because of the moon. The moon just happened to be something for him to look at. He was howling because everyone was inside sleeping (hewaskindoflonely). One of the reasons wolves howl is due to loneliness - they want to communicate their position to the pack.**


	7. Injuries and Whistling

**dragoscilvio requested an injured tail and a dog whistle.**

**Non-humans: WW Zoro**

* * *

The sun rose over the Sunny and the uninhabited island. The full moon had risen the previous night and the crew had decided to let Zoro roam free while in wolf form over the island.

As they gathered for breakfast, Luffy looked around. "Hey, hasn't Zoro come back yet?"

"I didn't see him," Usopp commented. "You think he got lost coming back?"

"Wouldn't put it past him," Nami muttered.

"I can go look for him," Chopper offered.

But as they started on breakfast, they heard someone coming up on deck, trudging across, and opening a door. Sanji got up and looked out just in time to see Zoro disappearing into the men's room.

"He's back," he said, returning. "Must've just wandered in circles until he spotted the ship."

Franky snickered. "Probably."

When lunch came around, Zoro finally left the men's room and came in the kitchen. He sat down with the others and began eating.

"Zoro?" Luffy asked, staring at him with everyone else.

"Mm?" Zoro mumbled.

"What the hell happened?"

Zoro's face had a bruise and streaks of dried blood. His arms had trails of dried blood, frozen in their path down to his elbows, and his shirt and _haramaki_ were lightly stained as well.

"Oh, yeah," Zoro said, glancing down at the blood. "Sorry, guess I should've washed up before I came in."

"That's not—Zoro, what happened to you?" Chopper cried.

Zoro shrugged. "It's not my fault, exactly . . ."

"Answer the damn question," Sanji snapped.

Zoro sighed. "Okay, there was a wolf pack. I was just passing through, but the alpha got pissed at me for coming through their territory and challenged me to a fight. I wasn't interested, but he started attacking, so I fought back. I guess it was a tie, since I transformed back when the sun rose and left them alone." He smirked. "I did leave him with some wounds to remember me by."

Luffy laughed. Nami hit him.

"Come to the infirmary right after lunch," Chopper told Zoro sternly.

Zoro shrugged and looked away. "Sure, whatever."

"Zoro!"

After lunch, Chopper dragged Zoro to the sick bay and began to fuss over him, asking where it hurt and where he'd been wounded. The wounds were fairly small and mostly closed, so all he needed were a few bandages and disinfectant.

"Try not to get into another fight," Chopper reprimanded him as he finished up.

Zoro scowled and winced as his tail twitched. "Seriously? It was self-defense."

Chopper frowned at him. "Zoro, can you move your tail?"

"Huh?"

"Wag your tail or something."

Zoro flicked his tail back and forth, wincing slightly.

"Hold still," Chopper said firmly. He came around to Zoro's backside and examined his tail. "Zoro, your tail's hurt too . . ."

"It's not bad," Zoro muttered, wincing sharply as Chopper prodded the still-open wound.

"Hold _still_," Chopper snapped as Zoro tried to leave.

Zoro eventually exited the infirmary with a bandaged tail. He growled at anyone who stared at it and started a fight when Sanji fell over laughing.

* * *

"Where's Zoro?" Usopp asked as the crew prepared to set sail.

"Idiot probably got lost again," Sanji muttered as Franky went inside to hoist the anchor.

"Well, that's why I have this," Nami said, bringing something out. It appeared to be a tiny silver rod.

"A whistle?" Brook asked, peering at it.

Nami nodded, lifted it to her lips, and blew hard. No sound came out.

"It's broken," Luffy said, staring at it.

"Chopper? What's wrong?" Usopp asked, looking down at the little reindeer, who had covered his ears suddenly.

"A dog whistle?" Robin said, smiling.

Nami nodded. "Hopefully he'll be able to—there he is!"

Zoro was coming towards the ship with a disgruntled expression. He jumped up on board and looked around.

"Who the hell blew that whistle?" he demanded, his tail twitching in annoyance.

Nami smirked and held it up. "I figured it was the best way to get you to come b—"

Zoro seized the whistle and heaved it overboard into the ocean.

"What the hell did you do that for!?" Nami yelled.

"That thing's annoying as hell!" Zoro yelled back.

"How dare you throw Nami-_swan_'s whistle into the ocean!" Sanji yelled at Zoro.

"Actually, it was kind of annoying," Chopper said, yelling to make himself heard.

"I can yell too!" Luffy yelled.

And so this was the state that the crew set sail in.


	8. You're Not Human, Are You?

**Non-humans: WW Zoro, Vampire Sanji**

* * *

_For this chapter, Zoro has been a werewolf for a little less than two months and Sanji has been a vampire for about a month. Somehow none of the crew have found out about either one of them yet (Chopper is helping cover for Sanji). They each suspect the other of hiding something due to certain circumstances . . ._

Zoro opened the door to the kitchen as Luffy strolled out, scratching his head. Sanji looked up and ducked down as the sunlight poured into the room. Once the door slammed shut again, the cook straightened and looked at Zoro, annoyed.

"I'm in the middle of making lunch," he muttered, stifling a yawn. "What do you want?"

Zoro approached the counter and leaned on it in a business-like manner. "What are you hiding?"

Sanji hesitated. "Nothing," he lied.

There was a moment of silence.

Sanji looked at Zoro with narrowed eyes. "What are _you_ hiding?"

". . . Nothing," Zoro mumbled, glancing back briefly to make sure his tail was still hidden in his pants.

There was another moment of silence.

"What makes you think I'm hiding something?" Sanji asked at last, scraping the diced tomatoes into the pot of incomplete stew.

Zoro narrowed his eyes. "I can sm—_sense_ it. You're . . . you don't seem like you're quite human."

Sanji seemed to flinch. "Well, that was pretty rude," he commented, turning away.

Zoro stared at him and sniffed the air. His eyes flashed and he suddenly had a sword at Sanji's throat.

"Turn around," he said coldly.

Sanji slowly turned, his arms folded. "A mutiny against the cook or something?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"What did you do to Luffy?"

Sanji flinched slightly, though he did his best to keep his face impassive even as he looked off to the side with his eyes. "What are you on about?"

Zoro leaned forward, keeping his sword in place, and shoved his face right into Sanji's. The cook made a disgusted face, but said nothing. To his surprise, Zoro started sniffing him.

"What are you, a dog?" Sanji muttered.

"You smell guilty," Zoro snapped, ignoring the question. "And I can smell blood on you. _Luffy's_ blood."

Sanji pressed his lips together nervously. "I . . ." he swallowed and still refused to look at Zoro.

"What would you say if I were to go ask Luffy about this?"

"It's . . ." Sanji still looked very guilty. "He . . . wouldn't be able to tell you."

Zoro moved the blade closer to Sanji's throat.

Sanji glared at Zoro. "Put down the sword," he commanded.

Zoro's eyes widened as his arm moved against his will and slowly set the sword on the counter.

"What the _fuck_ did you just do?" he demanded.

"Stop talking," Sanji commanded, and Zoro fell unwillingly silent, only able to glare now. The swordsman stood, sheathed his sword, and started to beat a hasty retreat out of the kitchen.

"Stop!"

Zoro froze against his will.

"Turn around," Sanji ordered, never once breaking his gaze.

Zoro slowly turned back around, glaring at Sanji with all the hatred he could muster.

"Come here," Sanji commanded.

Zoro slowly began walking back to the counter and stopped in front of it. Sanji finally looked away and Zoro's body slumped with suddenly regaining control.

"What the hell did you _do_?" he demanded. "And if you're not going to answer my question about Luffy, I may have to keelhaul you."

Sanji raised an eyebrow. "I think I preferred it when you were quiet. Can you even keelhaul me without the captain's permission?"

"Never mind that, answer the damn question," Zoro snapped.

"Well, if it'll put your mind at ease," Sanji said hesitantly, "Luffy's fine. He took a nap after I . . ."

Zoro scowled heavily and waited.

"I'm not really sick," Sanji admitted. "Chopper's been covering for me . . ."

"Get on with it," Zoro snapped.

"I'm a vampire," Sanji said abruptly.

. . .

"What?"

"You heard me."

Zoro stared at him. "Then . . ." he frowned deeply. "You took Luffy's blood . . . without his permission . . . you bastard!?"

Sanji looked away guiltily. "It's not like I take all of it," he mumbled. "There aren't many people I can drink from on this ship . . ."

"But he still doesn't know?" Zoro asked disbelievingly. "What have you been doing to him?"

Sanji stared up at the ceiling and whistled softly.

"I swear to god, cook—"

"I just wipe their memories after I'm done," Sanji mumbled. "I can heal the wounds fast, they fall asleep and wake up with no memory of what happened . . . no harm done."

"_Their_ memories?"

"Luffy and Usopp," Sanji muttered. "They're the only ones I can really drink from on this ship."

Zoro stared at him, still processing all this new information.

"I mean," Sanji continued, "Chopper's a reindeer, Brook doesn't have any blood, I can't risk hurting the ladies, Franky might work but I'm not sure where I could go for without hitting metal, and you . . ."

Zoro waited.

"Well, I wouldn't drink from you even if I could," Sanji said. "I'm hardly a vegetarian. But you're not quite a human, are you?"

Zoro looked away. "I dunno what you're talking about. You're the only non-human in this room."

"Excuse me?" Brook asked as he opened the door and walked in. "Sanji-_san_, Luffy-_san_ was wondering when lunch is."

"Make that two non-humans," Zoro mumbled.

"_Three_," Sanji hissed. "Twenty minutes, Brook."

Brook tipped his hat and left the room.

"With the others, I usually at least get this urge or sense that I can drink their blood," Sanji said slowly. "If I'm especially thirsty . . . my eyes are kind of drawn to their veins. But with you . . . it's the same feeling I get from Chopper. I don't have any kind of desire to drink from you."

"Good," Zoro muttered.

Sanji scowled. "You're hiding something. I come out at night sometimes—" he stifled another yawn. "Due to . . . the whole nocturnal thing. Just the other night, I heard growling from up in the crow's nest where you were supposed to be."

Zoro stiffened. "Um . . ."

Sanji raised an eyebrow. "If you won't tell me, I'll see if I can figure it out." He looked to the side thoughtfully. "Your eyes are yellow—"

"Because of the sun."

"Bullshit. Your eyes are yellow . . . you growl when you're angry . . . you're more possessive of your meat . . ."

Sanji smirked. "And the other night was a full moon, wasn't it?"

Zoro stiffened.

"A werewolf, huh?"

Zoro turned away grumpily. "Maybe."

Sanji smirked again.

Zoro sighed and reached into his pants.

"Hey, I won't have you taking those off in here," Sanji snapped.

"What?" Zoro muttered, fumbling around the back. "I'm taking something _out_."

Sanji made a face. "Again, _not_ in the kitchen."

"Oh, for—there we go." Zoro successfully wrestled his tail free and let it hang out the back. Sanji leaned around and stared at it curiously.

"Huh," he muttered. "Well, I _was_ wondering why you'd started changing by yourself."

Zoro shrugged as his tail flicked. Suddenly he frowned, remembering something. "So Luffy and Usopp are fine?"

Sanji nodded. "Chopper recommended drinking from each of them—if at all—at most once every three days."

Zoro cocked his head. "Don't you get thirsty?"

"Oh, yeah," Sanji affirmed. "But I can stand it. If it's an emergency, Chopper has blood packs in his office."

Zoro made a face. "Sure, whatever works for you."

Sanji grinned. "Anyway . . . why were you keeping that a secret? The whole werewolf thing."

Zoro sighed. "I don't want everyone to worry. What about you?"

"Well, I don't want them to be scared of me," Sanji admitted. "Especially the ladies . . ."

There were a few moments of silence.

"Shouldn't we tell them?"

"Hm?" Sanji looked up from where he'd gone to stir the stew.

"Don't you think it'd be a lot easier on both of us?" Zoro reasoned. "You wouldn't have to hide your blood cravings or pretend to be sick, and everyone would know to stay out of the way during the full moon."

"You make a good point," Sanji mused as he turned down the heat on the stove. "But I'd rather not scare them."

Zoro rolled his eyes. "Please. We survived Thriller Bark; they'll get over it in an hour."

Sanji grinned. "I sure hope so. Kind of ironic, isn't it? I got back my shadow at that place, only to lose it again later."

Zoro glanced down and noted that Sanji was indeed not casting a shadow.

"We'll tell them at lunch," he suggested. "I'll just leave my tail out."

Sanji nodded. "Sure, might as well get it over with. Now, who's a good boy?"

Zoro growled at him.

* * *

As everyone came in for lunch, they immediately saw Zoro's tail.

"So, uh . . ." Usopp looked at Zoro. "Why're you wearing a tail?"

"It's real," Zoro said as everyone settled around the table. "I'm a werewolf."

Everyone stared at him.

"And I'm a vampire," Sanji added.

Nami rolled her eyes. "I dunno what kind of joke you idiots are playing, but it's not that funny." She started on her dinner.

Luffy laughed. "That'd be cool, though!"

Usopp shivered. "I dunno . . . I wouldn't want a vampire drinking my blood . . ."

Zoro glanced over at Sanji. "Well, looks like they don't believe us."

Sanji shrugged. "That doesn't matter. Hey, Luffy, Usopp, I owe you two an apology . . . or maybe a few."

They looked up. "Why?" Luffy asked curiously.

"Haven't you two been wondering why you've been blacking out lately?"

They looked at him strangely.

"What do you know about it?" Usopp asked nervously.

Luffy scratched his head. "It happened earlier . . . I came through the door, and then I suddenly woke up at the table . . ."

Sanji held up a hand. "Sorry about that."

Luffy frowned. "Huh? You told me that I just came in and got tired and fell asleep."

"That was a lie," Sanji mumbled.

Brook frowned. "Sanji-_san_, you're being quite peculiar . . ."

Franky glanced around, looking at Luffy, Usopp, Zoro, and Sanji. His eyes eventually wandered over to Chopper, who was also looking somehow guilty.

He was about to ask about this when Chopper spoke up. "Um . . . guys . . . I'm sorry."

"What now?" Usopp asked confusedly. "You didn't do anything."

Chopper rocked back and forth in his chair. "Well . . . Usopp, you came to me and asked about the blackouts . . . and I told you that you should just get more sleep . . ." he looked down. "I'm really sorry! That was a lie! I knew what Sanji was doing!"

"Thanks for covering for me," Sanji added, remembering.

Usopp and Luffy looked between the two. "Sanji?" Luffy asked, frowning. "Do you know why Usopp and me keep blacking out?"

Sanji held out his hands, exasperated. "I _told_ you . . . I'm a vampire."

They stared at him.

"No, really, what's the reason?" Nami asked in a bored voice.

Sanji sighed. "Nami-_swan_ . . ."

"Oh, just let it go," Zoro said, digging into his food. "It's their own fault if they don't believe you."

Sanji sighed again, then yawned. "I guess so. . . . Nami-_swan_, do you know when our next stop is?"

"We're docking tonight," Nami replied.

"That's my Nami-_swan_!" Sanji said happily. "That's really excellent . . . I only just had my first drink in a couple of days."

There was a moment of silence.

"Bro Sanji, you aren't serious about the whole vampire thing, right?" Franky asked suspiciously.

Brook's eyes moved down to the floor where Sanji's shadow should have been (though how this happened was unclear, as he had no eyes in the first place). "Sanji-_san_ . . ." he said hesitantly. "We got your shadow back at Thriller Bark . . . so why is it missing now?"

The others immediately leaned over and stared at the floor. They slowly looked up at Sanji, who looked around at them as if to say, "I told you so."

"I was covering for him with the whole disease story," Chopper said helpfully.

"You're a vampire!?" Luffy yelled.

"Does that mean you've been drinking our blood!?" Usopp yelled. "And wiping our memories or something!? I feel so violated now!"

"Why didn't you tell us!?" Nami cried.

"Wait, does that mean Bro Zoro's actually a werewolf!?" Franky exclaimed, staring at Zoro.

"Sanji, do you show up in a mirror?" Luffy asked eagerly.

"Zoro, what the hell!?" Nami yelled. "Both of you need to tell us these things!"

"Zoro, can I pet your tail!?" Luffy cried happily.

"You're a werewolf!?" Chopper exclaimed.

"Yo-ho-ho-ho, my ears are bursting with all this yelling!" Brook cried. "But I have no ears in the first place!"

"SHUT UP!" Everyone yelled at him.

Eventually things settled down. Sanji and Zoro explained the circumstances and apologized, Usopp continued to look suspicious and hurt, and Luffy, being Luffy, simply seemed excited about two fantastic revelations within ten minutes.

* * *

**They found out later that Sanji can go out in the sun if he puts on a lot of high-SPF sunscreen first.**

**I couldn't really think of a good way to end this chapter, sorry about that :/**


	9. Kuraigana Island

**So, uh, I decided to write some stuff set during the timeskip.**

**Non-humans: WW Zoro**

* * *

Zoro slowly opened his eyes and yelled out in shock when he saw Perona leaning over him.

"Oh, you're awake!" she exclaimed. "By the way, why are you wearing a tail?"

Zoro leapt up, wincing from his wounds. "Get out of my way!" he exclaimed, running to the door.

"Oh no you don't! _Negative Hollow!_"

* * *

"Very well," Mihawk said. "I will train you for the next two years. Do not disappoint me, Roronoa Zoro."

Zoro lifted his head, stood, and bowed. "Thank you, sir!" he exclaimed, smiling.

Mihawk and Perona stared at his wagging tail.

"I'd assumed you were wearing a fake tail for some asinine reason," Mihawk said flatly. "Would you care to explain?"

Zoro quickly stopped his tail from wagging. "I'm a werewolf," he said bluntly. "May I request training breaks on the day of the full moon and the morning after?"

Mihawk pinched the bridge of his nose and didn't speak for a minute.

"As you wish," he said at last. "Go upstairs and pick out a room. I expect you to take responsibility for your condition."

Zoro bowed again and retreated upstairs.

"A werewolf, huh?" Perona mused. "He wasn't like that at Thriller Bark, I think . . . I wonder if he acts like a puppy? That would be so cute! Hey, Mihawk, are you okay?"

"Yes, yes, I'm fine," Mihawk muttered, still pinching the bridge of his nose. "Go get me some wine, would you?"

* * *

The day of the full moon approached and Zoro refused to get up. He wasn't even affected by the Negative Hollows.

"Let him rest," Mihawk said as he passed the room.

Perona scowled.

* * *

That night, Zoro forced himself to rise. He stripped and waited in his room after making sure that the door was locked.

There was a knock.

"Yes?" Zoro growled.

"Do you need anything, Roronoa?"

Zoro sighed. "No, sir," he said as respectfully as possible. "But you and that woman should stay out for your own safety."

"I could easily cut you down if it comes to that," Mihawk said, and Zoro could hear the smirk in his voice. "However . . . very well. Come see me tomorrow once you've rested up."

Zoro heard his footsteps clacking away from the door. As the full moon rose in the sky, terrible pain wracked his body and his human mind fell unconscious.

* * *

Perona paced around her room. She was dying to know what Zoro looked like as a wolf, but Mihawk had specifically instructed her not to enter.

_Maybe a quick peek . . . I'll go with my spirit form, so I can't get hurt._

She rose out of her body. With a quick glance back at her unconscious physical form, she floated through the walls and poked her head through to Zoro's room.

She saw the green wolf pacing around and sniffing the closed door angrily. Three golden earrings dangled from his left ear and the familiar chest scar and ankle scars were present. When he spotted Perona, he growled, but soon relaxed when he could not detect a human scent.

_Who are you?_ He demanded. _Where are Brook and Chopper?_

Perona frowned and floated through the wall. "Looks like you won't attack me . . ."

Wolf Zoro growled in frustration, as Perona could not understand his speech.

"Do you remember me?" she asked curiously, floating around him as he turned his head this way and that to keep track of her. "Um . . . you can shake your head if you don't know me."

Wolf Zoro slowly shook his head.

"I'm Perona," she said with a little smirk. "You're kinda cute as a wolf, Roronoa Zoro."

Wolf Zoro stared at her and slowly growled.

"Oh, don't be like that," Perona said with a pout. "I'll keep you company, if you want . . . only 'cause I'm bored, though . . ."

* * *

Morning dawned and Perona flew out of Zoro's room when she realized what he'd look like after changing back. She reentered her body (which had gotten plenty of rest, having been unconscious the whole night), got up, and yawned.

A few minutes later, Zoro knocked and poked his head in, back in human form and with dark circles around his eyes.

"Thanks," he mumbled, yawning. He left.

"That's all I get?" Perona muttered to herself, grumpily crossing her arms.


	10. The Exorcist

**dragoscilvio requested Zoro being hunted/attacked by an exorcist. Enjoy!**

**Non-humans: WW Zoro**

* * *

"Thanks for staying out here with me," Zoro said as he sat on the stairs with Brook.

Brook chuckled. "Oh, it's not a big deal, Zoro-_san_. I enjoy sleep, but these bones don't really need it . . . and besides, I still owe you for getting my shadow back."

Zoro placed a hand on _Shusui_. "That debt's already been repaid in full."

Brook would have smiled if he could. He straightened up and stretched (for some unknown reason, as he had no muscles to stretch). "I feel like some tea," he commented. "Zoro-_san_, would you like any?"

"Sure," Zoro said appreciatively, his tail wagging slightly at the thought of a hot drink. "Mind spiking it a bit?"

Brook chuckled. "Of course." He went into the kitchen, humming to himself. The door shut behind him.

Just a minute later, someone leapt up onto the ship from the pier below. Zoro hurriedly stuffed his tail into his pants and readied his swords.

It was a young man, perhaps the same age as Zoro. He had short black hair and wore an outfit much like Usopp's exorcist gear from Thriller Bark.

"Who are you?" Zoro demanded.

The stranger smirked. "Your downfall."

Zoro growled. "We'll see about that. What do you want?"

"Saw you walking around town today," the stranger explained, still smirking. "Couldn't help notice those yellow eyes . . . and something moving in your pants."

Zoro stiffened. "What about it?"

The stranger bowed mockingly. "Exorcist here, with the job of ridding this world of evil creatures such as vampires, demons—and your kind!"

Zoro snarled now, drawing two swords. "Bring it on."

The stranger seized something out of his pocket, stepped towards Zoro, and blew the stuff in his palm towards the werewolf.

Zoro inadvertently inhaled the particles. It got into his nose and mouth and the strong scent nearly overpowered him. He coughed, suddenly feeling dizzy and lightheaded.

"What . . . ?" he managed to get out, coughing to try to clear the stuff from his throat.

"Detoxified wolf's bane," the exorcist explained. "The scent makes your kind woozy—and a good thing, too, because otherwise you might have won!"

Zoro clumsily drew his swords and tried to run at the stranger, but his gait was slow and awkward, and he fell to the deck, dropping his weapons.

"Perfect," the exorcist whispered to himself, grinning. He drew out a silver dagger and swung it towards Zoro's heart—

—but by some miracle, Zoro managed to roll out of the way, and so the dagger sliced into his arm instead.

Fiery pain erupted where the dagger struck. Zoro was ashamed to find that he screamed out loud and clutched at his wounded arm. The veins turned dark from the point of entry as Zoro arched his back in pain.

"Zoro-_san_!?" Brook exclaimed, running out of the kitchen, leaving the boiling water. "Are you—who are you!?"

The exorcist looked up at Brook, momentarily distracted from his murder attempt. "Another one to exorcise?" he muttered to himself. "This whole ship is infested!"

"I beg your pardon!?" Brook exclaimed indignantly. He looked at Zoro and his expression hardened (or it would have if that were possible). "What did you do to Zoro-_san_?"

Without waiting for an answer, Brook ran into the men's room and yelled, "Emergency, everyone! Zoro-_san_'s under attack!"

The men quickly rose from bed, awoken by the shout. "What's wrong?" Luffy asked sleepily.

"Zoro-_san_'s hurt," Brook said. "He needs help!"

"Zoro?" Luffy demanded, suddenly wide awake. He and the others leapt out of bed and ran outside. The girls came out of their room, roused by the yells.

"Zoro!" Usopp cried. Their swordsman was still on the ground, writhing in pain and clutching his darkened arm and occasionally making strangled noises of agony.

"Who the hell are you?" Sanji snarled.

The exorcist smiled. "Don't worry. You must have been terrified, having such a terrible beast on board your ship! But he will die tonight, so you need not fear any longer!"

He drew out his silver dagger and prepared to plunge it into Zoro's heart.

"Gum-Gum Pistol!"

"Firebird Star!"

"Humming Strike!"

"_Dos Fleurs_!"

The exorcist was simultaneously punched, burnt, cut, and had his arm broken by Luffy's, Usopp's, Brook's, and Robin's attacks. He yelled out in pain and stumbled backwards, falling over the railing and landing on the pier. Luffy jumped down after him with an order to Chopper to get Zoro to the infirmary.

"It doesn't matter who or what he is!" Luffy yelled at the exorcist. "He's our friend, and we're not gonna let you hurt him! Don't come near our crew again!"

The exorcist coughed and crawled away silently. Luffy coldly watched him go and then quickly re-boarded.

He and the crew went to the sick bay, where Chopper was tending to Zoro. He injected a sedative and the swordsman's screams finally relented. His body continued to shake, covered with light perspiration. The area where the dagger had plunged into was still an ugly dark color, like an unfortunate bruise.

"What happened?" Franky asked. Everyone turned to Brook.

The skeleton shrugged helplessly. "I went inside to make some tea for the both of us. I heard a commotion and came back out . . . and Zoro-_san_ was like this."

"He was stabbed," Chopper said, examining the darkened area concernedly. "But it's weird that he'd react like this . . ."

"That knife was silver," Nami remembered. "It burns him when he touches it, right? So . . ."

"So it's probably worse when it's inside," Usopp whispered, looking sickened.

Chopper looked like he was going to cry. "I—I'm not sure how to treat this!"

"Calm down," Sanji advised. "Think about what you can do. Look at his symptoms."

Chopper pulled himself together. "Right . . ." he examined Zoro quickly. "He's . . . he seems to be running a fever . . . he's in great pain . . . I think this is akin to being poisoned. His body might be able to fight it off if I can find some kind of counteraction. Thank god it didn't pierce his heart . . ."

"Zoro's gonna be okay, right?" Usopp asked, worriedly looking at the trembling swordsman.

"Of course he'll be okay," Luffy said confidently. "He's really tough, and we've got the best doctor ever!"

Chopper briefly went into one of his dances before becoming serious. "Okay, now get out of my office! He needs rest and I need to treat him!"

The rest reluctantly retreated.

* * *

Zoro finally woke up the afternoon of the next day. He felt hot, trembling, and the powerful scent of the wolf's bane was still in his mouth.

"Water," he croaked, sitting up and immediately receiving a splitting headache. Someone brought over a glass of water, tissues, and a bucket; Zoro managed to clear out his throat and blew his nose. Gradually his head cleared and he looked at Chopper.

"Chopper?" he mumbled. He winced and felt his still-throbbing arm. "Damn . . ."

"How are you feeling?" Chopper asked, clearing away the stuff on the bed.

"Arm hurts like hell," Zoro muttered, wincing.

"What happened?"

Zoro slowly recounted the events of the previous night.

"I see," Chopper said at last. "I need to keep an eye on you so I can document the effects of silver." His face became stern. "That means no training for a few days at most."

Zoro groaned. "Come on, I can train with the other arm just fine . . ."

He tried to get up from the bed but a sudden wave of nausea hit him and he sat back down hard.

"Don't make me knock you out," Chopper said, folding his arms.

Zoro sighed and rolled over. His head was still pounding and his arm throbbed.

The door flew open and Luffy and Usopp came tumbling in, tripping over each other.

"Is Zoro—? Zoro!" Luffy exclaimed, seeing that his friend was conscious.

"Hey," Zoro muttered in greeting.

"Are you okay?" Usopp demanded.

"I'll be fine," Zoro mumbled.

"He needs rest! You two stay out!" Chopper ordered.

"Guys?"

Luffy and Usopp, just about to leave, turned back to Zoro.

". . . Thanks."

They grinned.


	11. Ramen

**Hallow135 requested more Werewolf Luffy, and Ashlielle requested something to do with cats. I decided to combine the two. Enjoy!**

**(dragoscilvio also requested something to do with cats a while ago. Initially I had decided not to do that and to do the squirrel one instead, but it came up again, so yeah.)**

**Non-humans: WW Zoro, WW Luffy**

* * *

The Strawhats docked at an island. As they took care of the docking necessities, Nami and Usopp turned to Zoro.

"If we leave you to guard the ship alone, are you going to throw a tantrum?" she asked sternly.

Zoro scowled. "I can't help it if I get lonely! I'm not exactly great at telling time—I don't know when you'll be back!"

Usopp stuck two fingers in his mouth and whistled. Luffy came running up a minute later.

"What's up?" he asked, looking around at the three of them, his tail wagging slightly as always.

"If you two guard the ship, are you gonna be okay by yourselves?" Nami asked.

Luffy and Zoro glanced at each other.

"We could try it," Zoro said, scratching the back of his neck. "I mean—company's company."

"Okay, good," Usopp said cheerfully. He patted Luffy's head. "We'll be back soon, okay?"

Luffy grinned. "Yeah!"

Usopp, Nami, and the others left the ship. Slowly Luffy's tail stopped wagging.

"I miss them already," he said sadly.

"I know," Zoro muttered, running a hand through his hair. "Come on, let's go do something."

* * *

They were halfway through their third game of Go Fish when they heard a strange sound.

"What was that?" Luffy exclaimed, looking around, suddenly on alert.

Zoro sniffed the air and narrowed his eyes. "It . . . couldn't be . . . ?"

Luffy sniffed as well and his eyes lit up. He and Zoro hurried down to the lawn deck, where an intruder awaited them.

It was a small gray cat. It looked up at them and mewled.

"Kitty," Luffy exclaimed happily. He dropped to all fours and he and the cat sniffed each other.

Zoro remained in a defensive stance. The cat approached him and mewled. They stared at each other for a good two minutes or so.

"Zoro, it's just a cat!" Luffy exclaimed. He picked it up and started nuzzling its neck. "And he's so soft! Come pet him!"

"He's an intruder," Zoro snapped. "This is _our_ turf."

"No, he's a _friend_," Luffy said firmly. "Right, Ramen?"

"Ramen? Don't name the damn intruder!"

"Ramen's not an intruder!" Luffy protested.

Zoro glared hostilely at Ramen. "I don't like this!"

Luffy held Ramen closer to him. "Zoro, don't be mean to Ramen!"

"What the hell is going on?"

They turned to see the crew coming back onto the ship. They were staring at the scene before them: Luffy, holding and cuddling a gray cat, and Zoro, who looked like he wanted to murder said cat.

"Hi, guys!" Luffy exclaimed, his tail wagging. "Zoro's being mean to Ramen."

"You named the cat Ramen?" Franky said flatly. "Where did you even get a cat?"

"He came up here by himself," Luffy said, nuzzling the cat's neck.

"That thing's an intruder!" Zoro exclaimed. "This is _our_ territory!"

Robin hid a laugh behind her hand. "A turf war with a cat, Zoro?"

Zoro scowled. "You shut your mouth! That cat doesn't belong here!"

"Yeah, Luffy, you really should let the cat go," Sanji agreed. "After all, three pets on this ship are enough."

Luffy sighed and reluctantly released Ramen. The cat gracefully leapt off of the ship and trotted off somewhere on the island.

"Three . . ." Zoro said slowly. "Hey, cook! We're not pets!"

"I'm not a pet either!" Chopper cried.

"You all have tails," Sanji pointed out as he strolled to the galley.


	12. Sanji in Trouble

**Non-humans: WW Zoro, WW Luffy, Vampire Sanji**

* * *

"We'll explore _tomorrow_," Nami said to Luffy exasperatedly. The crew had just landed as the sun finally sank below the horizon. The island was essentially a small mountain ringed with flatland, laden with thick flora and rocky patches farther up. It was apparently uninhabited.

Luffy growled. "But I wanna go now!"

"Luffy, she's right," Usopp said, yawning and stretching. "It's pretty dark out. We wouldn't be able to see anything."

Sanji stepped out of the kitchen, yawning and stretching. "Best rest I've had in ages! Good evening, Nami-_swan_!"

"Now, he's a different case," Usopp muttered, heading inside. "G'night."

Robin joined them; it was her turn for lookout duty that night. "You slept well, Sanji?"

"Oh, Robin-_chwan_, you're so considerate!" Sanji cried. "I had a good nap, yes. By the way, does anyone mind if I go and explore the island?"

"Fine by me," Nami said. Robin nodded.

"What? No fair!" Luffy cried.

"He can see in the dark and he's nocturnal anyway," Nami pointed out. She yawned. "Get to bed already. G'night, you guys."

She went up to her room. Luffy's tail drooped and he trudged grumpily to the men's quarters.

"Will you be fine for tonight?" Robin asked as Sanji bid Nami goodnight. "Today's your third day without blood, isn't it?"

Sanji internally marveled at how, once again, Robin could speak of such things without so much as hesitating. "I think I'll be alright, Robin-_chwan_," he said confidently.

Robin looked at him curiously. "If you don't mind me asking, how does going without blood affect you?"

Sanji's smile slipped a bit. "Well . . ." he scratched the back of his neck. "If I don't have . . . some amount of blood every day, I start getting weaker. . . ."

Robin nodded. "I see."

"But I'll be fine," Sanji said again, smiling. "I'll see you later, Robin-_chwan_!"

"Have fun."

* * *

Sanji trekked up the mountain, looking around. As he walked along, he spotted a cave sunk into the rock wall.

He made his way towards it and entered. It was fairly small—if Sanji were to reach up, he would surely brush the ceiling. The passage went farther down into the mountain, sloping ever-so-slightly.

Sanji slowly and carefully made his way down the path. It twisted and wound along the way.

He had been going for maybe ten minutes when he suddenly stumbled. He picked himself back up right away, realizing that the lack of blood was getting to him.

As he realized this, he cocked his head suddenly and narrowed his eyes. What was that noise . . . ?

It grew louder and louder. Sanji's eyes widened and he instinctively threw himself to the ground and covered his head as the walls began to shake violently. Pieces of rock fell from the ceiling—some struck his back, making him wince.

The earthquake slowly came to an end after maybe fifteen minutes. Sanji started to get up, but as he did so, the aftershock hit.

After this bout of shaking ended, Sanji slowly rose and looked around suspiciously, expecting another wave of trembling. When none came, he sighed in relief and continued his way down the cave.

Not even two minutes later, he found his path blocked by an enormous pile of boulders. He frowned and attempted to kick and shatter them, but the boulders were much too thick and his strength had declined too much. All he could do was put a crack in the rocks.

Frowning, he turned around and started heading back up.

But halfway back, his path was once again blocked by an enormous pile of boulders: the effects of the earthquake. They must have extended all the way to the mouth of the cave to be this thick, for Sanji could not even put a dent in these.

"Oh, no," he whispered, horror dawning slowly. "Oh, shit . . ."

* * *

_Day 1_

Morning dawned on the Thousand Sunny and everyone slowly roused themselves with the help of Brook's wakeup call.

"Good morning," Robin said to Nami, coming by the women's quarters with a smile. "That was some earthquake, wasn't it?"

"Yeah," Nami said, stretching. "Thank god it wasn't big enough to capsize us."

Robin nodded. "By the way . . . I don't suppose you've seen Sanji? I didn't see him come back last night."

Nami frowned. "Well . . . no, I haven't. Did you fall asleep?"

Robin looked at her.

"No, of course you didn't," Nami said. "Let's go ask the guys."

The men were coming out on deck, stretching, yawning, and quietly cursing Brook for his irritating wakeup call. Luffy ran to the kitchen, but ran back out a minute later.

"Robin, where's Sanji?" he called.

Concern flitted across Robin's face. "He wasn't in the kitchen?"

"Nope."

"And he wasn't in your room?"

"Nope."

"Oh, dear," Robin said softly.

"What's wrong?" Usopp asked.

The crew gathered in the center of the ship.

"Sanji didn't come back last night," Robin explained.

"_So_ not super," Franky muttered. "Did he say anything about where he was going?"

Robin shook her head. "He just said he was going to explore the island."

Luffy's tail drooped. "So why isn't he back?"

"We don't know," Zoro pointed out, his tail flicking in annoyance.

"Isn't it possible," Brook said slowly, "that Sanji-_san_ was too far away from the ship to come back before dawn, and so he's hiding somewhere until night falls?"

The others considered this.

"I guess that could be it," Nami said. "If he doesn't come back by tomorrow morning . . . we'll have to send out a search party for him tomorrow evening. He can't come out in the sunlight anyway."

"I hope he's okay," Chopper said softly. Usopp picked him up comfortingly.

"We can explore today, right?" Luffy asked hopefully.

"Yeah, but we shouldn't bring Sanji back until nightfall," Usopp said.

Luffy nodded. "Maybe we can find where he is, though! Zoro and me can find his scent!"

"There's an idea," Zoro agreed. "Chopper, you wanna help?"

"Yeah!" Chopper exclaimed, jumping out of Usopp's arms. "Let's go find Sanji!"

* * *

The three half-animals finished searching through the forest, having found no trace of their vampire cook.

"Maybe he went up on the mountain?" Zoro suggested.

They went out of the forest and started exploring the area. Luffy and Zoro caught Sanji's scent.

"Found him!" Luffy exclaimed.

"I think you guys have better noses than me," Chopper admitted. "I can barely smell that."

They followed the scent up to the mountain. But as they began to trek upwards, a cool wind began blowing down onto them, and Luffy and Zoro suddenly stumbled, wobbled, and fell down.

"What's wrong?" Chopper cried.

"Dizzy . . ." Luffy mumbled, clutching his head.

Chopper sniffed the air a few times. "Oh . . . there must be a big patch of wolf's bane growing farther up . . . the wind's carrying the scent down."

"Shit's strong," Zoro muttered, squeezing his eyes shut as if that would block out the smell.

"Can you guys go back down?" Chopper asked. "I can keep looking up here."

They nodded and tried to get up, only to fall right back down. Chopper turned big and carried them down the mountain.

* * *

The group's search yielded no results. Chopper said that Sanji's scent was already too faint for him to find, and the scent of the plants wasn't helping. He added that he had found "a cool rock pile," but nothing of interest to their search efforts.

"If he doesn't come back tonight, we'll have to look tomorrow," Nami said softly. She and Usopp had taken turns cooking—their food wasn't bad, but paled in comparison to Sanji's fare. "Luffy, Zoro, you two can keep searching the mountain when the wind changes."

The others nodded and bid each other goodnight.

* * *

Sanji sat against the cave wall. He had slept all day and was severely disappointed to wake up still in the blocked-off cave.

He ran a hand through his hair and blinked slowly. Something ran by him.

"Hey—"

He reached out and stomped down on the rat's tail. The rodent squeaked angrily. Sanji picked it up and raised it to his mouth.

"Sorry," he murmured, and bit into its neck. Its struggles ceased and it went limp. Sanji drained its blood.

But animal blood to a vampire is what herbs are to humans: It might taste good, but it's not enough for a meal. Sanji set aside the corpse, wiping his lips, spitting out hairs, and feeling no stronger than he did before.

* * *

_Day 2_

"He didn't come back?"

"I didn't see any sign of him."

"Luffy, Zoro, you guys go help look for him, but stay off the mountain for now."

"I can help cover some ground here."

"I hope he's okay . . ."

* * *

Sanji barely had the energy to keep his eyes open. He slept both the day and the night away.

* * *

_Day 4_

"The wind's changed."

Everyone looked up at Nami. Evening had fallen and the moon was rising in the sky.

"Luffy, Zoro, go look for him on the mountain," Nami ordered. "You'll be upwind of the wolf's bane."

The werewolves nodded and immediately ran outside, jumping off the ship and heading to the mountain.

"That idiot had better not gotten himself killed," Franky muttered.

Usopp bit his lip in worry. "I'm . . . gonna go try and sleep." He had been on last night's search party and had been yawning throughout the day.

"I'll come with you," Chopper said softly.

Franky joined them, but Brook elected to stay with the girls. The three silently waited at the kitchen table. It still felt so empty without their cook.

* * *

"Got it," Zoro exclaimed.

Luffy looked up. "You found his scent?"

Zoro nodded, getting as close to the ground as possible. "It's very faint, but . . ." he sniffed and started following the scent slowly, Luffy trailing close behind.

"It stops here," Zoro said at last. They looked up and found themselves in front of a large pile of boulders.

"So where is he?" Luffy asked.

Zoro bent to the ground again and sniffed. His eyes widened suddenly. "Don't tell me . . ." he paled. "The . . . the earthquake . . ."

Luffy stared at him uncomprehendingly.

"He might be behind these rocks," Zoro said. He unsheathed his swords. "C'mon."

Zoro sliced and Luffy punched, and with their combined power they shattered the boulders in less than half an hour.

"Sanji?" Luffy yelled into the deep, dark cave. He sniffed the air. "He's in here!"

"That explains it," Zoro muttered. "Hey, cook! Get your ass out here!"

No response.

Luffy and Zoro trekked deeper into the cave. Sanji's scent grew stronger.

Finally they stopped and looked down. Sanji was sitting limply against the cave wall, his eyes closed. As he had neither breath nor heartbeat, it was impossible to tell if he was alive.

"Sanji," Luffy exclaimed, his tail wagging furiously. He kneeled down and slapped Sanji's cheeks a few times. "Hey, can you hear me? Are you okay?"

Sanji winced and slowly opened his eyes halfway. His vision was blurred and he struggled to focus.

"Sanji?"

"Lu . . . ffy . . ." Sanji whispered hoarsely.

"He's alive," Luffy said happily, his tail still wagging.

"Can you stand?" Zoro demanded.

Sanji struggled to move, but he couldn't even sit up any farther.

"Damn it," Zoro muttered. "C'mon, Luffy—"

They went to either side of their cook and lifted him up, dragging him out of the cave and into the night.

"Thir . . ."

"What?" Luffy asked, turning to Sanji. "Sanji, what is it?"

Sanji weakly licked his lips. "Thirs . . . ty . . ."

"He must've been without any blood that whole time," Zoro realized. They were almost to the ship. "Chopper's got packs in his office, we'll go grab one when we get back."

The werewolves dragged the half-conscious vampire all the way back to the Sunny. They hoisted him up the rope ladder and propped him against the railing.

"We'll be back soon," Luffy said. He ran to the men's quarters to rouse his friends while Zoro went to the kitchen so he could cut through to the sickbay.

"Zoro?" Robin asked. She, Nami, and Brook looked up from the table. "Did you—?"

"He's alive," Zoro said abruptly, crossing the room. "Barely. We've gotta get him some blood."

"Ah . . ." Brook sighed. "Thank goodness . . ."

"I'm going out to see him," Nami said, smiling. She pushed back her chair and left the room.

Outside on the lawn, she quickly spotted Sanji leaning against the railing. She hurried over to him and bent down.

"Sanji-_kun_," she said with a little smile. "Glad to see you're okay, you big idiot. Where the hell were you, huh?"

Sanji's eyes fluttered open and he stared at Nami.

"Blo . . ."

"What?"

His eyes went to her neck. "Blood . . ."

Nami froze. "Sanji-_kun_—?"

Sanji leaned forward. Weakly holding her, he bit down sharply into the place between her neck and shoulder. She gasped. He began to drink.

"Hey, cook, I got the—hey!" Zoro froze in surprise. "What the hell are you doing?"

"It's . . . fine," Nami hissed through gritted teeth. "But . . . he _totally_ owes me . . . after this!"

Zoro shrugged. "Your funeral."

The others came out of the kitchen and the men's quarters. Naturally all of them were both immensely relieved to see Sanji and surprised to see him drinking from Nami.

"He was starving," Zoro explained. "He got himself trapped in a cave. Remember that earthquake? I guess it blocked off the entrance."

"Zoro and me broke through," Luffy added, glancing at Sanji. "And we found him. He was really tired . . . he couldn't even stand."

"Wow," Usopp said quietly.

"I'll look him over once he's done," Chopper said, glancing at Nami and Sanji.

After several minutes, Usopp came over and looked at Nami. "Nami?"

". . . Mm?" Nami's eyes were beginning to flutter.

"Hey, that's enough," Usopp exclaimed. "Chopper, she's starting to faint. Can someone get Sanji away from her?"

Zoro came over and wrenched Sanji's jaw off of Nami. Sanji, his eyes still half-closed, let out a whimper of protest. Nami didn't seem to notice—her eyes were slipping shut.

"I think this is her blood type," Zoro said, handing the package to Usopp. Chopper turned big and picked up Nami, and he and Usopp went to the infirmary to take care of her.

"He still needs more," Luffy said, squatting down and staring at Sanji. "Can someone—?"

"I'll do it," Robin offered, stepping forward.

"You?" Franky asked in surprise.

Robin smiled. "I'm curious as to what it's like." She knelt next to Sanji, leaned forward, and pulled back her collar. Sanji blindly latched onto her and bit down contentedly.

A few minutes later, Sanji seemed to have regained full consciousness. He slowly pulled away from Robin and closed his eyes, sighing in contentment.

"Damn . . ." he whispered. "I really thought I might die in there . . ."

He opened his eyes and stared at Robin.

"Good to see you're okay," she said pleasantly, straightening her shirt and standing.

Sanji shot up from the deck—he had revived so quickly after the large intake. "Robin-_chwan_!?"

"What's wrong?" Franky asked.

Sanji pointed at Robin. "I—you—don't tell me I—!?"

"Oh, it's fine," Robin said reassuringly. "I'm not hurt, and it was my idea. Besides, you were clearly starving."

Sanji clutched his head. "Robin-_chwan_ . . . !"

"I'm hardly even dizzy," Robin said soothingly. "You're back to full health now, and that's what matters."

Sanji sighed and dropped his arms. "If you say so, Robin-_chwan_ . . ." he looked around. "What happened? How'd I get back?"

"Me and Zoro found you," Luffy exclaimed.

"Not to be ungrateful, but . . . it took you . . . how long?" Sanji asked flatly.

"There's wolf's bane up on the mountain," Zoro snapped, his tail twitching in annoyance. "We had to wait for the wind to change."

"I see . . ." Sanji said. "Thank you. Sorry for . . . well, being stupid. I shouldn't have gone down there in the first place . . ."

"Hey, we're just glad you're alive," Franky said, grinning. Brook nodded.

Sanji grinned, then glanced around. "Where's Nami-_swan_? And Usopp and Chopper?"

"Those two took Nami to Chopper's office," Franky said.

"What!?" Sanji exclaimed. "Is she hurt!? What the hell happened!?"

The others stared at him. Without waiting for a proper answer, Sanji took off for the sickbay and barged in.

"Hi, Sanji!" Usopp said, looking up from where he was sitting: next to the bed, where he was helping Nami sit up slowly. "Are you feeling oka—?"

"What happened to Nami-_swan_!?" Sanji demanded. "Nami-_swan_, are you alright, my love!?"

Nami winced at his cries. Usopp frowned at Sanji as he got Nami sitting up against the head of the bed. "Shush! She's probably got a headache."

Sanji lowered his voice. "Sorry . . ."

"And what do you mean, what happened?" Usopp continued. "You don't remember?"

"Remember what?" Sanji asked blankly. "I was only half-awake until a minute ago. I barely remember anything from the past day or two . . . and the others didn't say anything about an attacker . . ."

Usopp stared at him. Before he could say anything, Chopper came back into the room from the kitchen, carrying a jug of juice, a cup, and a piece of bread.

"She'll be fine, but she should eat to replenish the—Sanji!" Chopper squeaked, nearly dropping the stuff in his arms. "Are you feeling okay now?"

"I'm fine, but never mind me, what happened to Nami-_swan_?" Sanji demanded in a low voice.

Chopper stared at him.

"He doesn't remember," Usopp muttered, taking the jug and pouring Nami a cup of juice. "Nami, here, drink this . . ."

Nami slowly lifted the cup to her mouth and drank. When she was finished, she looked over at Sanji, wincing slightly.

"You're okay . . . ?" she said softly.

Sanji nodded. "Nami-_swan_, what happened to you?"

"I'm . . . _so_ gonna . . . raise your . . . debt . . ." Nami mumbled. Usopp poured her more juice.

"I don't understand," Sanji said blankly. "What happened?"

"Oh, for—Sanji, look, don't go beating yourself up over this, okay?" Usopp said exasperatedly. "I mean, you were _starving_, you obviously couldn't control yourself—"

"No," Sanji said. "No, no, no, no—I couldn't have—? From Nami-_swan_—? No . . ."

But he leaned closer to look at her and saw marks on her neck.

"Aah . . . !" he dropped to his knees. "Nami-_swan_, I'm so sorry!"

"She'll be fine," Chopper said reassuringly. "She just needs some food and drink and rest. Now get out, you're disturbing her."

He turned big, picked up Sanji, and threw him out of the infirmary.

"How'd it go, lover-boy?" Zoro asked as Sanji dejectedly picked himself up.

"I can't believe I did that . . ." Sanji said miserably. "Did I really drink her blood?"

The others nodded. Sanji went to the counter and fell against it, burying his head in his arms.

"You know she's fine, right?" Franky asked. "Sis is tough. She's been through worse."

Sanji groaned into his arms. "That's not the point! I could've killed her!"

"No one here would let that happen, Sanji-_san_," Brook said softly.

"You can make up for it with a super-awesome breakfast tomorrow," Luffy suggested, his tail wagging at the thought.

"I can make her favorite," Sanji said, lifting his head slightly. "Speaking of which . . . how've you guys been doing with food?"

"Taking turns cooking, but yours is way better than anything we could make," Franky said.

This brought a small smile to Sanji's face. He straightened up and rolled up his sleeves. "I'll make you guys a damn good snack right now. How does that sound?"

They cheered.


	13. Keeping Company

**As requested by dragoscilvio, here's Vampire Sanji keeping WW Zoro company on the full moon. Enjoy!**

**Non-humans: WW Zoro, Vampire Sanji**

* * *

Sanji opened the door and stepped outside into the night air only to be immediately shoved back with the door slammed in his face.

He blinked. Standing up, he tried to open the door, but there was something on the other side keeping it from opening.

"Hey, what's the big deal?" he grumbled.

"Zoro's transformed right now," Chopper explained from the other side, keeping his weight against the door (he must have been in human form). "You shouldn't come out."

Sanji went silent then. A moment later he came around the corner and was met with Chopper (leaning against the door), Brook, and Wolf Zoro (the skeleton was stroking the werewolf's back).

"There _are_ two exits," he reminded Chopper.

Chopper began panicking, looking frantically between Wolf Zoro and Sanji.

"He probably won't attack," Sanji said. "Right? I'm not a human, remember?"

As he spoke, Wolf Zoro looked over and his ears perked up. He growled softly and slunk towards Sanji.

"Hey, wolf-boy," Sanji muttered, squatting.

Wolf Zoro sniffed suspiciously and circled him. _You're not a human. But you look like one. What are you?_

Sanji glanced at Chopper, who translated.

"I'm a vampire," he said, turning back to Zoro. "My name's Sanji."

Zoro growled suspiciously.

"Oh, don't be like that," Sanji said, holding out his hand for Zoro to sniff. "I'm not gonna attack you or anything."

Zoro stared at him. Sanji shrugged, stood, and turned to Chopper, but before he could say anything, Zoro head-butted him in the knees, knocking him to the ground.

"Hey!" Sanji exclaimed, glaring at Zoro. "What the hell was that for, moss-head!?"

Zoro looked away innocently.

"I know it was you, idiot!"

Brook chuckled. "Oh, he's just playing, Sanji-_san_."

"Playing, my _ass_," Sanji grumbled, standing and dusting himself off. He sighed. "You guys want something to eat?"

The three perked up and looked at him eagerly.

"Alright, come on, then."

* * *

After their snack (Sanji laid out some meat on a plate for Zoro), they went back outside and kept themselves occupied for the rest of the night. Zoro kept head-butting and tackling Sanji, much to the vampire's annoyance. Chopper was running low on blood packs, which heightened Sanji's irritability.

As the sun began to peek over the horizon, Zoro let out a long whine and collapsed onto the deck. Sanji hissed in pain as the sun hit him and hurried inside. Chopper and Brook hid themselves away to give Zoro privacy.

A minute later, Zoro (with rumpled clothes) stumbled into the men's room with a passing thanks to Brook and Chopper.

When lunch rolled around, Sanji served up the food with a yawn and a smile for the ladies. Zoro shuffled in, running a hand through his hair. He sat down and started shoveling the food in his mouth.

"Hey," Sanji snapped, stifling a yawn. "Don't be a pig."

"Whatever," Zoro mumbled. He swallowed. "Thanks for keeping company."

Sanji scowled. "You didn't have to keep head-butting me."

Zoro smirked. "Don't blame _me_. I'm not in control in wolf form."

Sanji pushed a finger into Zoro's temple. "You _sure_ about that, wolf-boy?"

"Don't touch me," Zoro muttered.

"You head-butted Sanji?" Usopp asked, laughing.

Sanji glared at Usopp. "Okay, Usopp, you get to stay here after lunch."

"Why—? Oh, come on! Why is it always me?" Usopp wailed.

"I'll do it," Luffy volunteered.

"You did it only a couple days ago, you have to wait," Sanji reminded him. "Usopp, I'll put mushrooms in your dinner if you don't stay."

Usopp made a face. "That's cruel."

"Yup."


	14. Vampire Zoro

**dragoscilvio requested Vampire Zoro!**

**Non-humans: Vampire Sanji, Vampire Zoro**

* * *

"Hm," Robin said softly, lifting her eyebrows as she studied the book. She and Sanji were in a bookstore—Sanji was wearing strong sunscreen and had borrowed a pair of sunglasses. "Sanji?"

Sanji was at her side within a minute. "Robin-_chwan_?"

Robin showed him the book. "I thought you might be interested in this."

"Hm?" Sanji took the book and read the page aloud quietly. "_In order to create a vampire, an existing vampire must drain a human of a fatal amount of blood. When the human's heart stops, the human must be fed blood, at which point he will be resurrected as a vampire_."

Sanji gave the book back. "I see . . . I _had_ wondered about that."

Robin smiled. "You didn't become one the conventional way, so I thought you'd like to know."

"Ah, Robin-_chwan_, you're so thoughtful!"

* * *

Zoro sat on the steps of the Sunny, a crescent moon overhead. He was on lookout duty that night while Sanji roamed the town for fresh sources of blood.

He heard something and tensed, placing a hand on his swords cautiously. He stood and looked around.

Someone leapt up onto the deck. Zoro drew two swords and demanded, "Who are you and what do you want?"

The stranger—an unusually pale man dressed in black—smiled. "Don't move," he ordered.

Zoro froze. He struggled to move, but was rooted to the spot. Naturally he recognized the sensation.

"Vampire," he spat. "Don't you know it's more polite to _ask_ before taking someone's blood?"

The vampire scowled. "Shut up," he commanded, and Zoro fell unwillingly silent. "I'm awful hungry tonight. You get to be a sacrifice." He smirked. "Count yourself lucky."

If Zoro could have moved, he would have demanded to know how this made him lucky.

"Straighten up and drop those swords," he ordered, and Zoro was powerless to resist. His body slowly straightened up against his will. As his swords clattered to the deck, he glared daggers at the vampire.

"Good boy," he purred, slinking closer to him. He placed his arms around him, tilted the swordsman's head to the side, and bit down hard.

Zoro could neither move nor speak.

The vampire was drinking for a very long time. Zoro began to feel oddly faint and lightheaded. He struggled to remain conscious.

The vampire would not cease drinking.

Zoro began to grow cold all over—unfortunately, it wasn't from a sense of dread.

He kept up his valiant struggle for consciousness for quite some time, but the speedy blood loss won out, and his eyelids slipped shut. His head dropped down onto the vampire's shoulder and it was only the supporting arms which kept his legs from buckling.

The vampire did not stop.

"Hey."

The vampire did not look up right away, leisurely continuing to drink Zoro dry.

"_Hey_. Shitty intruder."

The vampire finally took his mouth off of Zoro's neck and looked up. Sanji was standing on the railing, his eyes glowing red.

"Oh, I'm sorry," the intruding vampire said in a mockery of manners. "Did you have a claim on this human?"

"Who'd want to claim _him_?" Sanji scoffed, strolling towards the pair. "Thing is, if you kill him . . . well, our captain's gonna be pretty pissed. You don't want to see him like that."

The vampire let go of Zoro and the swordsman dropped to the deck like a stone, unmoving. Sanji glanced down and narrowed his eyes, listening closely.

"How much did you take?" he asked coldly.

The vampire grinned. "Oh, I don't know. I was _awfully_ thirsty."

Sanji delivered a kick into the vampire's side, knocking him down. He knelt by Zoro and hovered over the man's chest.

"Shit, it's barely there," he hissed. Raising his voice, he called, "Oi, everyone, get out here! Enemy intruder!"

The others hurried outside, blinking sleep away.

"Chopper, sickbay, now," Sanji ordered, scooping Zoro up and handing him to the reindeer, who changed into human form and took him. "Guys, plug your ears or cover his eyes. He's a vampire."

Usopp and Nami flinched. Robin thought fast and made two hands sprout out of the vampire's shoulders, covering his eyes. With several more well-placed hands, she pinned him to the ground.

Sanji and Chopper didn't stick around to see what happened next, though several crashes and bangs could be heard from the deck as they got Zoro to the sickbay.

"What happened?" Chopper asked urgently, laying Zoro on the bed. He was cold and pale all over.

"That bastard drank him dry," Sanji muttered. "I checked his heartbeat outside. It's way too faint."

Chopper nodded and took Zoro's limp arm, feeling his wrist. He frowned. "I . . . I can't find his pulse," he said shakily. He turned around and went to grab a blood pack and an I.V.

Sanji hovered over Zoro's chest, narrowed his eyes, and pressed his ear to the man's heart.

"We're out of his blood type!" Chopper cried.

"Chopper," Sanji said bleakly. "His heart stopped."

Chopper's eyes filled with tears. "No . . . no, he can't be—?"

Their stunned silence was only broken by a yell from outside and a scream. It seemed that the intruding vampire had been defeated.

"His heart stopped," Sanji repeated, apparently to himself. "His heart . . . ?"

His eyes widened and he dashed forward, shoving Chopper aside and seizing a blood pack.

"Sanji?" Chopper whispered.

Sanji seized Zoro and propped him up against the wall. He ripped open the pack and poured out the blood into Zoro's mouth.

"What are you—?"

"Live, dammit," Sanji hissed. He stroked Zoro's throat, forcing him to swallow. "Live!"

Once the blood pack was empty, Sanji dropped it, stepped back, and stared expectantly at Zoro.

The door flew open and the crew piled inside, crowding the entrance.

"We took care of him," Luffy said. "How's Zoro?"

Chopper looked up, shaking. "His . . . heart stopped . . ."

"You mean he's—?" Usopp cried.

But before Chopper could answer, Zoro suddenly opened his eyes.

"It worked," Sanji whispered. He moved backwards and sat against the desk. "It worked."

"Zoro?" Luffy exclaimed. "You're alive!"

"That was close," Zoro mumbled. "I saw a field of flowers . . ."

"I thought we'd lost you!" Franky cried. "Hey, shut up! I ain't cryin'!"

"You're—you're okay!?" Chopper exclaimed. "How? Your heart stopped!"

Zoro slowly sat up, wincing. "Yeah . . . I almost died there . . ."

"You _did_ die," Sanji said.

Zoro stared at him. He held up his hands and turned them over, checking his motor skills.

"Pretty sure I didn't," he said.

"What did you do, anyway?" Chopper asked, turning to Sanji. "How was putting blood in his mouth supposed to do anything?"

Robin stared at Sanji. "Sanji? You didn't . . . ?"

"It was the only way to save him," Sanji muttered.

"I don't get it," Nami said blankly.

"Check his heartbeat," Sanji said simply.

Chopper went to a drawer and rifled through it for his stethoscope. He pulled it out and pressed the cold metal to Zoro's chest—still cool and pale.

"It's . . ." he gulped. "Zoro . . ."

"What?"

"Your heart isn't beating."

Zoro frowned and felt his neck for a pulse. His eyes widened. "No pulse . . . ?"

Luffy came next to Zoro and took his hand. "You feel kinda cold."

"Unless my eyes deceive me, you still look very pale, Zoro-_san_," Brook commented. "And it's entirely possible they _are_ deceiving me, as I have no eyes in the first place . . ."

Everyone slowly turned to look at Sanji.

"Cook," Zoro said. "Tell me you didn't do what I think you did. Tell me there's some other reason I suddenly have . . ." he brought a hand to his mouth. "A craving for . . ."

"If I told you all that, I'd be lying," Sanji said.

. . .

"Zoro's a vampire!?" Luffy yelled.

Zoro's eyes flashed red and he clenched his fists. "Damn it, cook! Change me back right now or so help me—!"

"There's no reversal," Sanji snapped. "Don't you think I would have used it on myself a long time ago if there was!? It was the only way to save you! Better a vampire than dead, right!?"

The red in Zoro's eyes dimmed and they returned to their normal color.

"Still," he mumbled.

"This is kind of a problem," Chopper murmured, getting over the initial shock. "We may need twice as many blood packs now, and there are hardly enough of us who can have their blood taken . . ."

"We can figure that out later," Zoro muttered, lying back down. "My head . . ."

"I'll take up the rest of lookout duty," Sanji offered, standing.

"You guys should get to bed," Chopper said. "Zoro, I want to keep an eye on you, okay?"

"Whatever," Zoro mumbled.

* * *

The next morning, Zoro slept the day away. Of course, this wasn't unusual for him—only a slight change from his normal napping routine.

When night fell, he got up from the infirmary bed and went outside, stretching in the night air.

"Damn it," he muttered. "One day in and I already hate this."

"Well, get used to it," he heard Sanji say. He turned around but saw nothing.

"Where are you?"

"I'm on the lawn deck, stupid. Vampires have sensitive hearing."

Zoro scowled. "Well, get over here where I can _see_ you."

Sanji came around. "So," he said. "You're probably thirsty."

Zoro nodded and scowled. "Of course you'd know, you're the one who did this to me—"

"Shut up," Sanji hissed. "I was going to offer to show you how to do it, but if you don't want—"

"Get a move on."

"Come on, then."

* * *

"So what now?"

Sanji had lured a young man into a deserted alleyway. Zoro had hesitantly made him freeze and go mute.

Zoro glanced at Sanji and the man tried to make a run for it.

"Stop," Zoro ordered, whipping around. The man froze.

"Come back here, and don't say a word," Sanji commanded. To Zoro, he muttered, "Break eye contact and they're free."

"I got that," Zoro snapped.

The young man's eyes were filled with fear as he stood obediently against the alley side.

"Go for it," Sanji said.

"What, just bite down?"

"Yeah. Try for less than two pints."

Zoro hesitantly moved forward, placed his mouth over the man's neck, and bit down hard. Blood quickly welled up and he drank.

"Hey. That's enough."

Zoro had been drinking for some time. He reluctantly let go and the young man swayed on the spot.

"You can close the wounds with saliva," Sanji explained. The marks on the neck were already fading.

"Wipe his memories with your first two fingers," Sanji continued. "Across his forehead."

"Sorry," Zoro muttered to the man. He did what Sanji had explained and the young man dropped to the ground like a stone, snoring.

"He won't remember any of this," Sanji said. "So how was it?"

Zoro hesitated. "It was good," he said at last.

* * *

_One week later_

"I still hate this," Zoro muttered. He and Sanji were in the kitchen at midnight.

"Oh yeah?" Sanji muttered.

"I can't even have _sake_ anymore," Zoro explained.

"You can try and have some," Sanji said. "I dunno how it'd taste. But it's not the same as food, so . . ."

Zoro perked up. Sanji handed him a bottle and Zoro lifted it to his lips, pouring the cool alcohol into his mouth.

He took the bottle away and grinned. "Guess what?"

"Hm?"

"It still tastes good."

* * *

**Yep, vampires can drink alcohol. Basically it just passes through their system without affecting them (though too much can make them drunk). **


	15. Bathtime

**CK requested WW Luffy and WW Zoro being forced to take a bath :)**

**Non-humans: WW Zoro, WW Luffy**

* * *

When Zoro and Luffy came into the kitchen for lunch, Nami frowned and covered her nose.

"You guys smell really ripe," she complained. "Do you smell that?"

The others sniffed the air.

"Oh, yeah, I smell that," Usopp said, making a face. Sanji nodded.

"It smells quite . . . organic," Brook commented. "Of course, I'm not too sure about that, seeing as I have no nose to smell with!"

"I don't smell anything," Luffy said.

"Neither do I," Zoro agreed.

"Well, obviously because it's _you two_ who smell," Franky pointed out. "Geez, when was the last time you guys took a bath?"

They exchanged glances.

"I think the last time was sometime before I got turned into a werewolf," Luffy admitted.

"Same here," Zoro said.

"That was _months_ ago!" Nami shrieked.

Zoro and Luffy shrugged nonchalantly.

"Somehow baths have become less appealing since I've been like this," Zoro said, sitting down for lunch with Luffy.

Luffy nodded. "I don't wanna take a bath. I'm not even dirty."

Usopp looked him up and down. "You are, actually. And you smell terrible."

"You two are going to take a bath right after lunch," Nami snapped.

Luffy stuck out his tongue. "Can't make us!"

"Sanji-_kun_, Usopp, you two give Luffy and Zoro a bath or I'm raising both your debts."

"Yes, Nami-_swan_!" Sanji cried.

Luffy looked at Usopp with hurt and betrayal in his eyes.

"Luffy, don't give me those eyes," Usopp mumbled. "I mean, I really don't wanna owe her _more_ money . . . and you guys _do_ stink . . ."

Luffy put his head on the table, his tail drooping. "Traitor," he mumbled.

* * *

Luffy and Zoro were the first ones finished with their lunch. The second they were done, they threw their plates into the sink and ran out the door.

"Chopper, can you help us find them?" Usopp asked, standing as he and Sanji made for the door. "Your nose'll be really helpful here."

Chopper nodded and followed them out. He found Luffy and Zoro hiding in the library.

"Oh, come on!" Luffy complained.

"We didn't think you would've looked in here," Zoro mumbled.

"I'm going back to my office now," Chopper said, climbing the ladder.

"Traitor!" Luffy cried after him. Chopper ignored him.

"Don't make a fuss about this and I'll make you guys snacks after this," Sanji said, folding his arms.

Luffy and Zoro perked up.

"What kind of snacks?"

"Whatever you want. Just be good dogs."

Luffy's tail started wagging. Zoro's wagged slightly though he scowled at Sanji for the nickname.

* * *

"The soap smells funny," Luffy complained.

He and Zoro were sitting in the bathtub as Sanji and Usopp helped wash them, as they evidently refused to do it themselves.

"Really?" Usopp asked, examining the bar. "This is non-scented . . . anyway, just put up with it. You'll smell like this for maybe a day, that's all."

Luffy sighed and started scooping up soap bubbles, blowing them off his hands and grinning when they floated away.

"Not so rough, stupid," Zoro growled as Sanji scrubbed his hair.

"Well, we don't want that moss infested with disease, right?" Sanji muttered, dipping the brush briefly back in the water.

Zoro simply growled and waited for the torture to end.

At long last, Usopp and Sanji declared them clean. They climbed out of the tub and were handed towels, but they first shook themselves off on all fours like dogs.

"Really?" Usopp complained, wiping off his face. "You had to get _us_ wet too?"

Luffy grinned as he took the towel to dry himself off the rest of the way. "Yeah."

"I want booze," Zoro said abruptly, taking his towel and wrapping it around his waist as he went to the mirror to check his hair.

"How about you?" Sanji asked, glancing over at Luffy.

"Meat with some of that cool sauce you made the other night," Luffy said cheerfully, toweling his hair dry.

"Come on down when you two are dressed," Sanji said, leaving. "It'll be ready by then."

"Don't make us do this again," Usopp muttered, following the cook. "Can't you bathe at _least_ once every other week?"

Luffy and Zoro glanced at each other.

"No," they said at the same time.


	16. Tail-Chasing and Attempted Exorcism

**Blueh requested WW Luffy + hunters and Ashlielle requested tail-chasing. Enjoy!**

**Non-humans: WW Zoro, WW Luffy**

* * *

Zoro, sitting against a tree, watched with some amusement as Luffy turned around and around, glaring at his tail. The two had taken a walk out into a woodsy part of their latest stop.

"Give it up," he advised, yawning. "You'll never catch it."

Luffy briefly glanced up at Zoro, momentarily distracted from his pursuit. "But . . . it's right _there_," he whined.

"You could try using your hands," Zoro suggested.

Luffy, who had resumed the game, nodded and reached out. He seized his tail between his hands and held it up, grinning. "Got it!"

Zoro rolled his eyes. "Congratulations."

Luffy frowned, letting his tail drop again. He sniffed the air and made a face, wincing.

"Hey," he said. "You smell that?"

Zoro stood and sniffed the air. He winced. "Wolf's bane," he muttered.

Luffy sniffed again and covered his nose. "It's getting closer . . ."

Zoro's lip curled. "It's faint . . . but I smell someone. No . . . at least two . . ."

Luffy became serious, palming his hat and placing it on his head. "You think they're werewolf hunters?"

"Who knows?" Zoro muttered. "Anyone could have noticed us earlier. Just in case . . . cover your mouth and nose with something."

He tied his bandana around the lower part of his face. Luffy searched his pockets, but finding nothing, resorted to tearing off a strip of his shirt. He tied it around his face. He and Zoro got into battle-ready stances.

Soon three people appeared. They wore black cloaks and wore necklaces wreathed with wolf's bane. They stopped when they saw Luffy and Zoro.

"Corrupted children!" exclaimed one of the people—likely the leader, as they were standing ahead of the other two. "We are the voices of forgiveness who have come to eliminate your calamitous forms! Prepare yourselves to suffer our judgment!"

Luffy stared at them. "What?" he asked, his voice muffled by the cloth.

"They're trying to kill us," Zoro translated, his voice also muffled.

"Oh." Luffy cracked his knuckles. "Bring it on!"

The lead exorcist pulled out a silver knife and charged. Luffy ducked down and punched them in the gut. They doubled over, dropping the knife.

The other two ran forward. The one on the left pulled out a gun and aimed it at Luffy, quickly pulling the trigger once, twice, three times. Luffy caught every bullet with his body and snapped them back. One of them grazed the exorcist on the face.

"Ow-ow-ow," Luffy exclaimed, rubbing the spots where the bullets had bounced off. "They've got silver bullets!"

"Got it," Zoro muttered as the third exorcist charged towards him. He charged towards them with his swords ready. They crossed each other. A moment passed before the exorcist fell to the ground, two thin lines through their coat. But they were clutching Zoro's bandana in their hand, having grabbed it as they charged by.

"Ugh," Zoro muttered, quickly covering his mouth and nose with his hand. Luffy, meanwhile, charged towards the second exorcist. They tried pulling the trigger on their gun, but it was out of bullets. Luffy stretched his arm back and punched them in the face. They went flying and landed hard on a tree.

Zoro turned and went to the exorcist he had cut down. He bent down and seized his bandana, tying it around his face again. When he turned around, his eyes widened.

"LUFFY!"

Luffy turned around a little too late. The first exorcist had gotten back up and snuck up on Luffy. Just as Luffy spotted them, they sank their silver knife into Luffy's gut.

"This land is now pure," they whispered.

Luffy screamed out in pain and hunched over, collapsing to the ground, and writhing and whimpering in pain.

"Damn it!" Zoro charged towards the first exorcist and sliced downwards. A second later they collapsed.

Zoro sheathed his swords, ran to Luffy, and knelt by him, yanking his shirt up. Blood wormed from the wound, which had turned an ugly black color that was slowly spreading across the abdomen. Luffy was whimpering in pain.

Without a word, Zoro scooped him up and ran with him back to the Sunny.

* * *

"It's almost dinnertime," Usopp said, staring out at the island. "Shouldn't they be back by now?"

"They probably got lost," Nami said. "We'll go get them if they're not back soon."

"Ah!" Brook exclaimed, pointing. "There's Zoro-_san_ . . . and . . ." he would have frowned if that were possible. "Luffy-_san_ . . . ?"

Usopp peered out into the distance as Zoro charged closer. "Hey . . . what's wrong with him?"

Zoro finally reached the ship and jumped up and over the side.

"Zoro?" Nami said, coming over. "What happened? What's—Luffy!"

"We were attacked," Zoro said shortly. "Is Chopper in his office?"

"Y-Yeah," Usopp said, staring at Luffy in worry. "Is he gonna be okay?"

"Of course he is, but he needs treatment!" Zoro exclaimed. He stood and carried Luffy to the infirmary.

"Hi!" Chopper said, looking up as Zoro entered. "How w—" he spotted Luffy. "What happened!?"

"We were attacked by some exorcists," Zoro said, laying Luffy on the bed as his captain writhed in pain, breathing shallowly. "One of them got him with a silver dagger."

Chopper jumped off his chair and hurried over to Luffy, pulling up his shirt and examining the wound. He felt Luffy's forehead.

"Fever . . . discoloration of wound . . ." he murmured. "It's the same as when you were attacked, Zoro."

Zoro nodded impatiently. Nami, Usopp, and Brook piled into the infirmary.

"What _happened_?" Usopp exclaimed, looking at Luffy, who was still writhing in pain, only half-conscious.

Zoro explained while Chopper ran to his desk and started rifling through the drawers.

Chopper hurried back over to Luffy with a little bottle, a dish of water, a cotton ball, and a needle. He injected Luffy with the anesthetic and Luffy went limp, his cries finally ceasing, though he continued to tremble. Chopper dipped the cotton ball in the water.

"At least you took them out," Usopp said finally. "If we told him they hadn't been defeated . . . that would really rub salt in the wound."

"How'd you know?" Chopper asked as he dipped the moist cotton ball into the powdered salt (for that's what was in the little bottle) and applying it to Luffy's wound.

"Wait, what the hell?" Usopp exclaimed.

"The salt actually draws out the poison," Chopper explained. "By the way, guys?"

"What is it, Chopper-_san_?" Brook asked.

"Get out!"

They hurried out the door.


	17. Camping

**CK requested Zoro scaring some campers~**

**Non-humans: WW Zoro**

* * *

As night fell, the Strawhats decided to have a campout in the woods. Nami and Robin declined to join them, so it was just the men who set up a barbeque pit among the trees and sat around the fire.

"Sanji!" Luffy whined. "When's the food gonna be ready?"

"Hold your horses, it's not quite done," Sanji muttered.

Zoro sighed. Suddenly he sniffed the air, raising his head.

"You smell something?" Franky asked.

"I'll be right back," Zoro muttered. He stood and headed off into the woods.

"If he's not back by the time this is ready, someone go get him," Sanji muttered.

Usopp laughed. "Knowing him, he'd end up in a tree!"

Zoro trekked through the trees, following the scent reaching his nose. Soon he came upon a young couple, sitting around a campfire and eating sausages.

They saw Zoro and yelled out in shock.

"Hi," Zoro said.

"W—Why do you have a tail?" the first man whimpered, pointing to it.

"He has yellow eyes," the other man whispered. "A—Are you a demon!?"

Zoro scratched the back of his head. "Well, that ain't the first time I've been called that. Sorry, I just smelled some meat, so I followed the scent—"

"T-Take it!" the first man cried, pushing the platter of sausages towards Zoro.

"What—really?" Zoro said in surprise.

"Y-You can have all this if you leave us alone!" the second man cried.

"Oh," Zoro said. "I mean, I wasn't going to do anything, but—oh, forget it. Thanks."

He grabbed the plate and walked off perpendicular to the direction he'd come from.

About half an hour later, he managed to find his campsite and strode towards it. Sanji was already serving up the barbeque to the others.

"Where the hell were you?" Luffy asked cheerfully, shoving barbeque in his mouth.

"Are those _sausages_?" Usopp asked incredulously.

Zoro nodded and sat back down, grabbing one and tearing into it.

"Where did you get those?" Sanji asked suspiciously.

Zoro shrugged. "Found them."

He refused to say any more.


	18. Summit War

**So here are some scenes with WW Luffy during the Summit War saga and during 3D2Y, as well as a bonus scene with Zoro in 3D2Y.**

**Non-humans: WW Zoro, WW Luffy**

* * *

"Do _all_ men have tails?"

Luffy stared around at the crowd of women, goggling at his fluffy black tail.

"Well . . ." Luffy scratched the back of his head. "The truth is kinda complicated, so sure, let's say all men have tails."

They _oohed_ and _aahed_.

* * *

"I don't understand!" Hancock exclaimed, frustrated. "Why won't you turn to stone!?" She pointed at his tail. "And why do you have a tail!? Everything about you makes me angry!"

Luffy stared at her. "Um . . . sorry, but I've gotta go!"

* * *

"Luffy, dear, are you alright?"

Luffy turned away from the window and saw Hancock looking at him with worry and another expression he couldn't quite identify. He smiled. "I'm okay."

His tail did not wag, however.

Hancock's eyes strayed to his tail yet again. "If . . . if you don't mind, Luffy . . ."

"What's up, Hammock?"

"Why . . ." she blushed. "Why do you have a tail?"

"Oh, this?" he smiled. "I'm a werewolf."

She gasped. "A werewolf . . . !"

Luffy frowned. "That's okay, right?"

"A werewolf . . . so daring! So animalistic . . ." she sighed, smiling as her face turned red.

"Are you okay, Hammock?"

* * *

"Besides that, did you _always _have those yellow eyes!? Or that dog tail!?" Buggy demanded as he and Luffy ran side-by-side in Impel Down.

Luffy frowned. "It's a _wolf_ tail, stupid!"

"Oh," Buggy said, nodding. "I see, a wolf tail. That makes more sense—WAIT, IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE AT ALL!"

"I'm a werewolf!" Luffy explained.

Buggy nodded thoughtfully. "A werewolf! Why, that explains it—A WEREWOLF!?"

He flew apart in surprise. Luffy stared at him. "What?"

"A w-w-w-w-werewolf," Buggy stuttered, paling. "A—A monster! A beast!"

Luffy grinned. "That doesn't matter! Let's focus on saving Ace!"

"IT DOES _SO_ MATTER!"

* * *

"Straw-_chan_ . . . did you always have a tail?" Bon Clay asked as he and Luffy ran through Starvation Hell.

"I'm a werewolf now," Luffy explained cheerfully.

Bon Clay stared at him for a moment before bursting out laughing. "A werewolf! You never fail to surprise me, Straw-_chan_!"

* * *

"Let's go, Luffy!"

Luffy and Ace, the latter having just been freed, ran through the battlefield for the Moby Dick.

"So are you gonna tell me why you're wearing a tail?" Ace muttered.

Luffy grinned. "It's real! I got turned into a werewolf!"

Ace grinned. "Why am I not surprised? The things you get yourself into . . ."

Luffy stuck out his tongue. "It wasn't my fault! Well—it was _sort of_ my fault—but it wasn't my fault!"

"So it _was_ your fault."

* * *

As Luffy devoured the food before him, Rayleigh approached.

"Luffy-_kun_," he said, "why do you have a tail?"

Luffy looked up and grinned. "It's real! I'm a werewolf!"

"A werewolf!?" Grandma Nyon cried. "Snake Princess, this man is dangerous, don't you see!? If you're not careful, he could kill you in your sleep!"

"A werewolf . . ." Hancock sighed dreamily. "So fierce . . . so animalistic . . ."

"What kind of thoughts are you having!?"

"Ah, that reminds me," Luffy said. "Rayleigh, can take breaks on the full moon? I always feel sick before I transform."

Rayleigh raised his eyebrows and smiled. "Certainly. Could you tell me about the transformations, Luffy-_kun_? What kind of precautions should be taken?"

Luffy swallowed some fruit and frowned. "It's not fun. I wake up, and I don't wanna get up, and my head and stomach hurt . . . then right before I transform . . . my body gets really hot and prickly. Then there's a lot of pain . . ." he shrugged. "And then the next thing I know I wake up human again and I remember what happened. I'm not con . . . what's the word?"

"Conscious?"

"Yeah," Luffy said, nodding. "Yeah. I'm not conscious when I turn into a wolf."

Rayleigh rubbed his beard thoughtfully. "Would it be acceptable to leave you on the island alone during the full moon?"

Luffy slowly nodded. "Yeah . . ."

"I wonder what he looks like as a wolf . . ." Hancock whispered to herself.

Grandma Nyon scowled. "Like I said, what kind of thoughts are you having!?"

* * *

"Luffy-_kun_ . . ."

Luffy cracked open his eyes and saw Rayleigh kneeling above him. "Wha . . . ?" he croaked, blinking.

"I'm going to leave the island now," Rayleigh said patiently. "I'll be back in the morning."

". . . Mmf." Luffy shut his eyes again. Rayleigh ruffled his hair and headed out.

* * *

"Oh, just let me go see him!"

"It's too dangerous!"

Hancock struggled to free herself from her sisters' and Nyon's grasp.

_Awoooooooooo_

"Don't you hear that?" Hancock cried, tears in her eyes. "That's his cry of loneliness! He misses me!"

"He'll kill you if you get near him, sister!" Marigold cried.

"He doesn't know himself right now!" Sandersonia exclaimed.

_BONK_

Hancock fell limp in their arms, knocked out by Nyon's staff.

"Grandmother!" Sandersonia and Marigold exclaimed indignantly.

"Would you rather her go on a suicide mission?" Nyon demanded coldly.

* * *

Hancock came to visit the next day after kicking Nyon out the window.

"Luffy," she exclaimed when she finally found Luffy and Rayleigh. "Luffy, dear, are you okay?"

Luffy looked up and smiled. "Hi," he said sleepily. "Yeah, I feel better now."

"Ah . . . ! He spoke to me," Hancock sighed. "Oh, my dear, how I longed to come and comfort you last night!"

Luffy stared at her in surprise. "Hey, don't ever do that! I would've attacked you!"

"Okay!" Hancock exclaimed, turning away, her face red. "What . . . Whatever you say!"

* * *

Rayleigh came back to the island with supplies and found Luffy rolling around on the ground. Judging from the state of his clothes, he'd been doing this for quite a while.

"Luffy-_kun_," he said in surprise. "Are . . . you okay?"

Luffy looked up and his tail wagged a bit. "Rayleigh," he said happily.

"What was that?" Rayleigh asked with some amusement, setting down the supplies.

Luffy's tail slowly stopped wagging. "Ever since . . . I've been like this . . . it's hard to go without someone around. And . . . sometimes . . . I can't help but think of my friends . . ." he looked down. "I miss them . . ."

Rayleigh put a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Luffy-_kun_."

Luffy looked up and grinned. "But this is nothing! Zoro's a werewolf, too—he's the one who bit me—and we didn't know he'd get lonely, so we came back and he'd destroyed half the ship!"

Rayleigh chuckled. "Is that so?"

"Uh-huh," Luffy said. "I wonder how he's doing . . . ?"

* * *

Mihawk and Perona returned to the island with fresh supplies. When they entered the castle, they were surprised to find Mihawk's throne-like chair toppled over.

"Go find that idiot," Mihawk ordered, setting down the supplies.

Perona huffed indignantly, but went off to go find Zoro. She passed by her room and was surprised and angry to find her things strewn across the floor.

When she found Zoro, he was kicking the stone wall of his bedroom.

"What are you doing?" she demanded.

He looked up and his tail started wagging. "Oh," he said. "You're back."

"What _is_ this?" she demanded, gesturing to the state of his bedroom: the sheets torn off the mattress, towels and shirts thrown on the floor, the chair toppled . . .

Zoro turned red and looked away. "Er . . ."

"You destroyed _my_ room too!" she exclaimed.

"Um . . . sorry?" he mumbled.

"Roronoa Zoro."

Zoro, his face red, looked around with Perona and saw Mihawk standing in the doorway. His tail wagged slightly again.

Mihawk sighed. "I have heard that dogs tend to become lonely without their masters around."

Zoro twitched.

"The stress of not having your friends around," Mihawk said, "and the fact that the woman and I—"

"I _have_ a name!" Perona hissed.

"—were gone," Mihawk continued, ignoring her, "got to you. Is that right?"

"Yes, sir," Zoro mumbled.

"I'm sure you won't let these kind of emotions get in the way of any training or battles, correct?"

"Of course not, sir."

"Good." Mihawk whirled around, his cape flying out behind him. "Clean up what you did and meet me outside."

Zoro started picking up the things he'd thrown and putting them back where they belonged.

". . . I can help," Perona offered.

"Sure," Zoro mumbled.

"Do you . . ." Perona hesitated. "Do you want me to stay in the castle next time Mihawk goes to get supplies?"

". . . That'd be nice."


	19. Forgive Me

**Here's another alternate version to the crew finding out about Zoro's condition (and Luffy becoming a werewolf).**

**Non-humans: WW Zoro**

* * *

_Zoro has been a werewolf for a little over a month. The crew has not found out yet. This is his second transformation . . ._

"So . . . can you not come up to the crow's nest?" Zoro asked, rubbing the back of his neck.

Luffy grinned. "Sure, okay."

Zoro nodded and headed up. The others were already inside, falling asleep. Luffy stared up at the full moon.

At about a half-hour before dawn, Luffy looked up to the crow's nest. He frowned when he thought he saw a strange shape moving around inside.

Heading to the ropes, he climbed up and listened at the covered entrance. There were clicking sounds, like a dog's nails on the floor, and growling.

"Zoro?"

The growling suddenly intensified and came closer. There was the sound of canine-like sniffing near the entrance, whining, and scrabbling.

Luffy shoved away the weight covering the hole. "Hey, Zoro, are you okay—?"

He was bowled over and flew down with the wolf from the crow's nest. Sitting up and shaking his head with the wolf, they turned and looked at each other.

"Cool!" Luffy exclaimed, his eyes lighting up. "Hi, wolf! How'd you get here?"

The wolf snarled, barked, and leapt forward, tackling Luffy back to the ground.

"Hey, get off!" Luffy exclaimed, laughing.

The wolf snapped his jaws around Luffy's shoulder. Luffy's smile faded, his eyes widened, and he let out a strangled yell of pain.

Blood pooled from his shoulder as the wolf took his jaws away, licking his lips. The creature opened up his jaws and bit down on Luffy's arm. Bits of flesh came away and Luffy screamed.

The men burst out of their room, alerted by the screams. They saw Luffy being attacked by the wolf and ran over.

"Get _away_ from him, you damn beast!" Sanji roared, charging for the wolf and kicking him away.

"How did a wolf get on the ship?" Usopp mumbled.

"Luffy!" Chopper cried.

Luffy had passed out, his shoulder bleeding heavily.

"Someone get a doctor!" Chopper exclaimed.

"That's _you_!" Franky yelled.

The girls came out of their room, rubbing their eyes.

"The hell is going on?" Nami mumbled. Her eyes widened. "What happened?"

"A wolf attacked Luffy-_san_," Brook explained shortly.

Franky and Usopp charged for the wolf, which was starting to rise again.

"Strong Right!"

"Collier Shoot!"

Their combined power sent the wolf flying. The creature hit his head on the side of the ship and did not move.

"Serves that thing damn right," Sanji snarled. "Chopper, how's Luffy?"

Chopper turned big and picked him up. "His shoulder's badly hurt," he said. "I need to treat him!"

He ran to the infirmary with Luffy, the others close behind. Everyone cast hateful glances at the unconscious wolf as they passed by.

"Chopper?" Luffy mumbled, waking up as he was laid on the bed. "My should . . ." he suddenly vomited onto his clothes, shaking.

"Maybe that wolf had a disease," Chopper mumbled worriedly. "Luffy, hold still, I need to fix your shoulder."

Luffy nodded and lay back down.

"Luffy, hang in there, okay?" Usopp whispered.

Luffy nodded, his eyes still closed.

The others went into the kitchen. Sanji began cooking up an early breakfast.

As the sun shone through the windows, the ones in the kitchen sat around the table.

"His shoulder looked really bad," Franky murmured.

Usopp nodded. "You guys took care of that stupid wolf, right?"

"Damn right we did," Sanji snapped. "That shitty _beast_ . . . oughta toss it in the ocean . . ."

"How _did_ a wolf get on the ship?" Robin murmured.

* * *

Zoro woke up outside. Blinking, he slowly realized he was on the deck. He smacked his lips, tasting—was that blood?

His head suddenly ached as the memories from the previous night came flooding back.

He sat up, shaking. Slowly standing, he hurried back up to the crow's nest, throwing on his clothes and shoving his tail in his pants as fast as possible.

He flew down from the crow's nest and burst into the kitchen. Everyone looked up.

"Oh, Zoro," Usopp said. "Where _were_ you, anyway?"

The crew's eyes trailed over Zoro in his disheveled state: Wide eyes, exhausted-looking, trembling, his boots on the wrong feet, his shirt hanging over his _haramaki_ . . .

"Where's Luffy?" Zoro asked hoarsely.

"He was attacked," Sanji said, flipping the bacon over. "A damn wolf got on the ship. I dunno how. It got his shoulder." He sneered. "Damn beast . . ."

"I _know_ that," Zoro hissed, shaking. "Where _is_ he? The infirmary?"

"Yeah," Franky said. "Um, by the way, you've got something around your mouth . . ."

Zoro frowned slightly. He rubbed his fingers around his lips and they came away a rusty red. His eyes widened and he clutched the counter for support.

"Are you okay?" Nami asked, frowning. "You look _terrible_."

Zoro slowly shook his head. "No," he whispered. "I can't . . . I . . ."

He stumbled over to the sink, seized an empty glass, and filled it with water, trying to rinse the awful taste of Luffy's blood out of his mouth and scrubbing away at the surrounding red. When he was finished, he threw the towel to the floor and headed straight for the infirmary.

"What's _his_ problem?" Franky muttered. "Strawhat's gonna be fine."

Zoro marched into the infirmary, slamming the door shut behind him and making Chopper and Luffy jump.

"Lu—" he whispered. "Thank goodness . . . you're alive . . ."

Luffy grinned sleepily. "Sure I am!"

"Zoro, where were you?" Chopper asked absentmindedly, finishing up Luffy's shoulder. "Luffy, try not to use this arm too much for a while."

Luffy frowned. "Oh, okay." He sniffed the air and his eyes lit up, his sleepiness gone. "Is that bacon!?"

He and Chopper happily went to the kitchen, Zoro staring after them.

"Luffy," he said weakly, but he went unheard.

In the kitchen, Luffy happily jumped into his seat, ready to devour the hearty breakfast Sanji had set out.

"You feeling better, captain?" Sanji asked.

Luffy grinned. "Of course! This isn't too bad! Chopper fixed me right up!"

As Chopper went into a little dance, Usopp glanced around. "Didn't Zoro look awful, by the way?"

"Yeah," Franky agreed. "Come to think of it, where was he last night?"

Luffy swallowed his bacon and frowned thoughtfully. "Hey . . . that's weird . . . Zoro went up to the crow's nest last night. I saw something weird through the window, so I went to go check on him . . . but then Zoro wasn't up there, and the wolf attacked me."

Zoro came out of the infirmary and everyone looked around. He stared at Luffy.

"Hey, Zoro," Luffy said cheerfully. "C'mon, have some breakfast! It's awesome!"

Zoro shook his head slowly. "Luffy . . . I'm . . . so sorry."

Luffy frowned. "Huh? What for? You didn't do anything." He grinned.

Zoro shook his head violently. "But I _did_." He licked his lips and grimaced. "I don't know . . . if I'll ever get this taste out of my mouth . . ."

"What taste?" Sanji muttered.

"The taste . . . of Luffy's blood," Zoro said softly.

Everyone stared at him.

Zoro slowly reached down the back of his pants. It took him a moment, but he freed his tail and let it hang loose over the back. He turned his back to the crew to let them see it.

"A tail!?" Luffy exclaimed, his eyes shining with excitement. "That's so cool!"

"When did you get a tail?" Chopper cried.

The faces of the others were slowly dawning with comprehension.

"Don't you get it?" Zoro demanded, turning back around, his face despondent. "I'm a werewolf. Last night was the full moon."

The grin slowly slid off Luffy's face. "But then . . . that means . . ."

Zoro faced Luffy, knelt, and bowed his head low to the ground.

"My deepest apologies, captain," he said softly. "I understand . . . if you can't forgive me for this. I'll leave the crew if you want me to."

He stayed in this prostrating position as Luffy stared at him. The others looked at Zoro in shock.

"Zoro," Luffy said, standing and coming over to crouch by him. "Raise your head."

Zoro slowly looked up at Luffy.

Luffy hit him.

"Ow," Zoro muttered, rubbing the lump on his head.

"Don't be an idiot," Luffy scolded, knocking on Zoro's head like a door. "You aren't in control when you transform, right?"

"Well—no, but I could have _killed_ you."

"But you didn't," Luffy said. "I would've gotten you off me eventually even if everyone else hadn't come out. We wouldn't have let you kill me, right guys?"

"Of course not."

"Damn right."

"No way!"

Luffy grinned at Zoro. "Of course I forgive you! You tried to keep me away, but I was an idiot and went up there anyway. The only thing you did wrong was not tell us sooner!"

He stood and helped Zoro up.

"Come on, let's eat breakfast," he said. "Then we can get some sleep and you can tell us all about this later."

Zoro nodded, the guilt slowly clearing from his eyes. The others cast him slightly sympathetic—or pitying?—looks as he sat down.

For a few minutes, all was silent.

And then, as usual, Luffy broke the mood.

"So, when do I get to have a tail?"


	20. Take a Bow

**Zantetsuken Reverse requested a Dracula-like Vampire Sanji in a theater role. I hope this is okay? I dunno**

**Non-humans: Vampire Sanji**

* * *

"Hey!"

Sanji (wearing sunglasses and plenty of sunscreen), carrying bags of food, turned to see a large man calling to him.

"Can I help you?" he asked, shifting the bags.

"Yes, well—do you have any experience with acting?" the man asked. Sanji was about to respond when he continued, "Oh, never mind, that doesn't matter—listen, one of our performers cancelled on us for the play tonight, and we need a replacement stat. Are you interested?"

Sanji raised an eyebrow. "What kind of play?"

"It's our amateur theater's performance of a story about a hero," the man explained quickly. "In the introduction, the hero is shown slaying three evil beasts—a troll, a hag, and a vampire."

"Don't tell me you need me for the vampire part," Sanji muttered, smirking.

"Yes, how did you know?" the man asked. "It's a very easy part, you'll have cue cards, be on stage for maybe, oh, ten minutes at most—"

"Will I get paid?"

"What? Oh, yes, of course—"

"I'll do it," Sanji said. "What time?"

* * *

"Oh, by the way, I'm in a play tonight," Sanji said as everyone started on dinner.

"Sorry, what?" Usopp asked blankly.

Sanji explained the situation.

"Super cool!" Franky exclaimed. "What part do you have?"

"A vampire," Sanji said.

Luffy burst out laughing. "That's great! Good luck, Sanji! Can I come watch?"

"What? I don't care, but I think it costs to get in."

"Oh, never mind, I'm broke."

* * *

"You're on soon," the director (the man Sanji had met earlier) said. "Oh, and can we get a headshot of you for our records?"

"What? Uh—" Sanji looked around. "No, I look terrible in photos—"

But before he could do anything, the director had pulled out a camera and snapped a photo of Sanji's nervous face.

"I'll develop this later," he said, setting aside the black square. Sanji scowled heavily.

"I guess this outfit is fitting, at least," he grumbled to himself. He was wearing a fine, old-fashioned noble's suit, complete with a blood-red cape.

"You're on! Get in place!"

Sanji scowled again and went to the stage, where a lovely young lady waited in the unlit parlor set.

"Ah, beautiful lady!" he cried. "Never have I seen such—"

There were murmurs from the audience. The woman shushed him.

"Of course," he whispered. "Are you the lovely heroine who destroys my evil self?"

"What?" she whispered back, annoyed. "Didn't they tell you anything? I'm your victim."

"Huh?"

The stage lights came on. Sanji shielded his eyes and hissed faintly. He glanced around and saw a handyman holding up cue cards. He cleared his throat.

"Good evening, my dear," he said dramatically.

The woman whirled around and gasped. "Who are you? Who let you in?"

Sanji smiled. "Your butler invited me in, thinking I was a poor man seeking shelter. I took care of him already."

"Edward! Get out here!" the woman called.

"He cannot hear your cries," Sanji said. "And soon you will join him, my love."

"Stay away from me!" the woman cried.

"Oh, but . . . you see, my dear, I'm awfully thirsty," Sanji said softly. "Don't say a word."

The woman fell unwillingly silent. This action was obviously scripted, but she found herself actually unable to speak. As scripted, she moved backwards, though she held suspicion in her eyes as she stared at Sanji.

"Hold it," Sanji ordered. She froze and stared at him, now with fear.

He approached her and held her tightly, positioning his mouth over her neck. "Sorry," he whispered into her ear. "You'll be fine . . . you won't remember a thing."

He bit down as gently as possible and drew out blood, drinking contently.

Not even half a minute had passed when a voice came from stage left. "Halt, creature of darkness!"

Sanji quickly closed the wounds on the woman's neck and moved his fingers across her forehead. She went limp in his arms and he placed her gently onto the couch.

"So, the noble hero comes to save the damsel in distress," he said, turning to face the hero. ". . . Even though I would have liked to be the one to save her . . ."

"What?"

"But you are too late!" Sanji continued dramatically, glancing back at the cue cards. "She is dead—" he gulped and continued, reminding himself that he had taken much less than what he usually took, and she was fine, "—she is dead, and you will be too!"

"Not when I have this!" the hero exclaimed, drawing out a cross. Sanji immediately backed away from the item.

"Curses!" he exclaimed.

"Take this holy water, vampire!" the hero exclaimed. Sanji flinched, but the liquid splashed on him was thankfully normal tap water. Nonetheless, keeping in-character, he hissed loudly.

The hero approached Sanji, who had fallen to the ground. Sanji eyed the cross brandished at him and crawled backwards quickly.

"Die, beast!" the hero exclaimed, and pressed the cross against Sanji's chest. Even through the suit, Sanji felt the severe burning sensation and screamed out loud, falling to the ground and writhing in agony.

To Sanji, it seemed like an eternity, but it was really only five seconds later that the hero lifted the burning cross from Sanji's chest. Sanji lay still on the ground.

"The beast is slain," the hero proclaimed to the audience. "My only regret is I was not in time to save the lovely maiden or her servant."

The stage lights dimmed and the stage hands came in to quickly clear away the set.

"You're really good at this," the hero muttered to Sanji. "You really sounded like you were in pain."

Sanji slowly sat up, wincing. "You jackass, I _was_ in pain! Keep that damn cross away from me or so help me—!"

"Hey, get up," he heard one of the stage hands whispering to the woman.

"Oh, she's asleep," Sanji said. "She'll be fine, I didn't drink too much."

The stage hand chuckled. "Good one! Well, she can sleep, her part's over anyway."

Sanji turned back to the hero and jabbed a finger into his chest. "You're lucky you didn't shove a clove of garlic in my mouth or something or I might've died for real! More dead than I am now, anyway!"

"What the hell are you talking about?" the hero hissed. "Look, buddy, your part's over, go see the director."

Sanji stood, wincing, and whirled around to go see the director.

* * *

"How'd it go?" Usopp asked. He was on lookout duty.

"Absolutely horrible," Sanji grumbled. "The damn 'hero' shoved a cross onto my chest."

Usopp raised his eyebrows. "How _does_ that affect you?"

Sanji unbuttoned his shirt and showed Usopp the faint burn on his chest. "You tell me!"

"Ouch," Usopp muttered. "You need ice or something?"

"Yeah, I'll get some soon," Sanji muttered, buttoning his shirt back up. "At least I got paid."

Usopp laughed. "Don't let Nami find out or you'll never see the money again!"

"My lovely Nami-_swan_ wouldn't steal from me!" Sanji protested. "And if she did, I'd be happy to let her have it for whatever purpose she desires!"

"Sure, whatever," Usopp muttered.

"By the way, I'm pretty thirsty," Sanji said, his eyes travelling to Usopp's neck.

Usopp froze. "Damn it, why me!?"

* * *

"That vampire guy was weird," the hero muttered to the director as the play ended. "He said something about the cross hurting him."

"Maybe you left it under a hot lamp?" the director said absentmindedly as he took the folder full of developed photos and shook them out onto the table.

The woman who had acted alongside Sanji came into the room sleepily, scratching her head. "When are we starting?"

The hero and director stared at her. "The play's over!" the hero exclaimed. "Don't you remember?"

The woman shook her head. "No! I just remember going out on stage, and then . . . I woke up in the dressing room."

"Weird," the hero mumbled. "You don't suppose that guy did something to you . . . ?"

"What guy?"

"The guy we got to play the vampire," the hero explained as the director examined the photos. "He was a real weirdo. Went off-script a couple times and claimed that the cross hurt him. It wasn't hot or cold or anything!"

The woman frowned. "That is pretty weird . . . you sure I didn't just collapse onstage? It's happened before . . ."

"No, you played your part—and played it well," the hero said. "I just—"

"Hey," the director said, staring at one of the photos. "Take a look at this . . ."

The two came around to look at the photo.

"Did you mess up?" the woman asked, raising a perfectly manicured eyebrow. "No one's there."

"No—the time's here," the director said shakily, pointing to the time-and-date stamp in the corner of the picture. "Earlier I took a photo of our vampire guy . . . and this is it."

"But there's no one there!" the hero exclaimed. His eyes widened. "Wait, don't tell me . . ."

"A . . . _real_ vampire?" the woman said softly.

"Must be," the director breathed, staring at the empty photograph. "He didn't show up in the photo, and I _thought_ his skin was awfully pale . . ."

. . .

"We've got to get him in our acting group!" the hero exclaimed, turning to the director. "He'll be the perfect vampire when the situation arises!"

The director looked sheepish. "Actually, he said something about casting off the next morning. I guess he's a traveler."

"Damn it!" the woman exclaimed. "Oh, he would have been perfect . . ." she frowned. "I mean, if I could remember what he was like . . ."

* * *

**They found Sanji the next day just as the crew was casting off. He ran away when he saw them and refused to come outside.**


	21. Werewolf Sanji

**Ashlielle requested WW Sanji! **

**Non-humans: WW Zoro, WW Sanji**

* * *

"Ero-cook!"

"Moss-head!"

Zoro growled. "You wanna go, dumbass!?"

"Bring it on!" Sanji yelled.

They had only just gotten into the rhythm of their usual fight when Luffy and Usopp ran past, apparently chasing something. They barreled into Sanji as they charged, knocking him off-balance and straight into Zoro's face, throwing them both to the ground.

"Ah, sorry!" Luffy yelled as he and Usopp continued running without so much as a backwards glance.

Sanji and Zoro struggled for a moment before Sanji finally pushed himself up. He stood and glared at Zoro.

"I'm not the one who knocked you over," Zoro snapped, standing as well. He frowned and licked his lips. "Hey . . ."

His eyes travelled to Sanji's face. The cook's nose was bleeding—and not from the nostrils.

"You damn asshole, you bit my nose!" Sanji snapped, feeling the wound. His eyes widened and he paled. "Wait . . . you bit . . . my . . ."

His eyes rolled up into his head and he collapsed onto the deck.

"Shit!" Zoro hissed. He roughly seized Sanji under his arms and dragged him to the side of the ship, throwing his torso over so his head hung over the side.

"Huh?" Luffy said, screeching to a halt as he passed by again. "What's up with Sanji? Is he sick?"

Zoro scratched the back of his neck. "I . . . kind of . . . bit him."

Luffy stared at him. "What? You mean he's . . ."

Usopp finally caught up with Luffy and came to a stop, looking over at Sanji. "Is he okay?"

Sanji twitched and lifted his head slightly. "Damn moss . . . I'm gonna kill . . ." he heaved and vomited over the side.

Zoro's tail twitched in irritation. "Pull yourself together. Then we can get these two." He pointed to Luffy and Usopp.

"What did we do!?" Usopp demanded indignantly.

"I only bit him 'cause you idiots knocked him into me!" Zoro yelled.

Luffy and Usopp stood straight and bowed. "We're very sorry!"

"Yeah, well, sorry ain't gonna fix this!" Sanji snapped, recovering as he stood shakily. "Damn it . . . !"

"What, you want me to apologize too?" Zoro muttered. "Wasn't my fault."

"You bit my nose, you asshole!"

"Your nose ended up in my mouth! It was instinct!"

"Instinct, my ass! And speaking of, I'm gonna kick yours!"

They started fighting again. Luffy and Usopp snuck away.

* * *

"What do you _mean_ you bit Sanji-_kun_!?" Nami cried.

Zoro sighed. "I already went through this! Leave me alone!"

"Oh, I'm so happy Nami-_swan_ cares for me!" Sanji cried.

"It's not that, it's just that now we've got two full-moon bloodthirsty idiots onboard!"

"Who're you calling an idiot?" Zoro muttered.

"The full moon's in ten days," Robin said quietly. "Sanji, you have plenty of time to settle any kind of existential crisis you might have beforehand."

"Robin-_chwan_, thank you for your consideration!"

* * *

On the day of the full moon, Usopp was cooking breakfast when Sanji came stumbling in, his eyes half-closed. Usopp glanced up and frowned. "What're you doing up?"

"I gotta . . . make breakfast," Sanji mumbled. He swayed on the spot and leaned against the counter.

"We'll take care of it," Usopp said, coming around and holding Sanji's shoulders, guiding him out of the kitchen. The cook turned away from the over-bright sun. "You go back to bed."

"But . . ." Sanji mumbled. "I gotta . . . cook . . ."

Usopp ignored him and led him back to the men's quarters, where Sanji fell back into bed.

"Stay there," he said firmly, leaving.

As the door shut behind him, Sanji mumbled, "Gonna kill you . . . moss-head . . ."

* * *

Zoro and Sanji managed to get up as the sun set. They came out to the dark deck where Chopper and Brook waited.

"Okay, how does this work?" Sanji muttered.

"We're just gonna keep you guys company," Chopper explained as Zoro kicked off his boots and pulled off his shirt. "We'll go behind the mast or something while you guys transform."

Sanji sighed and began the arduous process of taking off his suit, folding up the clothes, and laying them neatly on the deck. Brook and Chopper went behind the mast, as usual. Zoro and Sanji glared at each other for a moment before they strode to opposite sides of the ship and sat down, facing away from each other.

The full moon was high in the sky. Sanji's skin began prickling all over. Terrible pain wracked his body . . .

* * *

Brook and Chopper came out from behind the mast to see the two werewolves circling each other suspiciously. The blond one looked over and growled softly. His fur was long and sleek and covered his left eye on his face.

_Who you?_ He growled. He turned back to Zoro and growled, _And who you?_

_Who are _you_? _Zoro growled suspiciously.

"We're your friends," Chopper said, approaching the blond werewolf cautiously. "My name is Chopper. This is Brook." He pointed to Brook as he said this, and then Zoro. "This is Zoro. And your name is Sanji."

_Sanji . . . ?_

Chopper nodded. "Can you guys try to be friends with each other?"

_Brook, Chopper,_ Zoro growled. He glanced at Sanji. _He's your friend?_

Chopper translated for Brook and they nodded.

_Then I'll try,_ Zoro growled reluctantly.

Sanji sniffed Brook and Chopper. They waited patiently.

_What . . . are you?_ He growled, looking between them.

"I'm a reindeer," Chopper said. He translated for Brook.

"A skeleton," Brook said cheerfully. "Pleased to see you, Sanji-_san_."

The suspicion finally left Sanji's eyes.

* * *

As Zoro and Sanji collapsed to the deck with the dawn, Chopper and Brook hurried inside. A minute later, the werewolves stood, in human form again.

"Damn it," Sanji muttered, shuffling over to his clothes and yawning. As he got dressed, he paused, the memories from the previous night returning. He glanced at his behind and saw his long and sleek blond tail.

"Well, that wasn't that bad," Zoro muttered, pulling on his clothes.

Sanji stared at him. "Your hair looks even stupider than before."

"Shut it," Zoro snarled.

"Everything looks awful," Sanji sighed, looking around the ship. "Speaking of which . . . are my eyes yellow?"

Zoro came over and examined Sanji's eyes. "Weird. They're still blue . . . I think."

Sanji raised an eyebrow. "Huh."

They headed back into the men's quarters and went to bed.

* * *

"Yeah, they're still blue," Nami said as Sanji served up lunch.

Sanji's tail wagged. "Well, that hasn't changed at least," he said happily.

"Yeah, but does anyone care?" Zoro muttered.

Sanji growled at him. "You wanna fight?"

"Sanji-_kun_, Zoro, not at the table," Nami said tiredly.

Sanji's tail curled up and wagged. "Yes, Nami-_swan_!"

* * *

**When turned into a werewolf, a human's eyes will almost always turn yellow after the first transformation. But if the human originally had blue eyes, they will stay blue.**

**Also, if a child is bitten by a werewolf, they will be afflicted with the condition, but they will not display the characteristics of a werewolf (full-moon transformations, tail, yellow (?) eyes, etc.) until they hit puberty. It is also impossible to turn someone else into a werewolf before the first transformation.**


	22. Captured

**Lilytrue requested WW Zoro being captured by the Marines!**

**(Thank you to Lew-**_**chan**_** for helping out with this one)**

**Non-humans: WW Zoro**

* * *

"Oh, crap," Nami muttered, squinting across the bay as they docked. "Is that . . . ?"

Robin crossed her arms briefly, closing her eyes. "A Navy ship," she said. "Everyone, be careful. Try not to stand out too much."

"Try telling that to _him_," Franky said, pointing to Luffy, who had already jumped off the ship and was running straight into town.

"That moron," Usopp groaned. "Well, my face isn't on a poster, so I'll be safe . . ." he jumped off and headed off, looking for Luffy.

Zoro tucked his tail in and leapt off as well. "I'll be back for lunch," he said as he strode off.

"Which means he'll be back by dinnertime," Sanji muttered.

Nami sighed. "Can someone go look for him if he _isn't_ back by lunch?"

"I'll do it," Chopper said quietly.

* * *

"Well . . ."

Zoro looked around at the startled Marines in the hall of the battleship.

"Sorry," he said, turning around. "Looks like I got on the wrong ship. I'll be leaving now."

"H-Hey!" one of them exclaimed. "Aren't you—?"

"R-Roronoa Zoro!" another cried.

"Freeze, Roronoa!" a third cried.

Zoro turned around and placed a hand on his swords. "And if I don't?"

The Marines drew swords and guns and charged at him with battle cries. Zoro drew his swords and began to fight. He dodged their blows and bullets with the grace of a ballerina, slicing down his opponents at every opportunity.

Soon it was down to two unusually resilient soldiers and Zoro himself.

"Give up yet?" Zoro snarled.

"Plan G!" the one on the left cried. He and his comrade each brought something out and tied it around their faces. He threw something to the ground—when it stopped bouncing, Zoro glanced down at it for a brief moment. It was some kind of canister, like a grenade.

Zoro looked up at the Marines. They were wearing gas masks.

The canister hissed like a cockroach and let loose a foul-looking purple gas. Zoro tried to cover his mouth and nose, but it was too late—he had breathed it in. His head became oddly light and fuzzy. He blinked heavily and his arm dropped from his face, which only made him breathe in more of the gas. He swayed on the spot, clumsily dropped his swords, and collapsed to the floor, snoring.

"It worked!" exclaimed one of the soldiers, removing his gas mask and kneeling by Zoro. "It . . ."

He blinked, yawned, and collapsed next to Zoro.

"Idiot," muttered the other, his voice muffled through his mask.

* * *

When Zoro awoke, it took him a moment to recover from the grogginess left by the sleeping gas. As he finally returned to his senses, he realized a few things.

First, his swords were missing.

Second, he was in a jail cell.

And third, no one was around.

He stood and looked around the cell. It was small, with only two benches on opposite walls and the bars which blocked his freedom.

He gritted his teeth as he took out his tail, figuring there was not much point in hiding it. Seemed there was nothing he could do about the situation except wait for his crew to come or a stupid Marine to walk by with the keys.

* * *

_Awoooooooo_

The soldiers patrolling the ship looked around.

"Did someone bring in a dog?" one of them muttered.

Meanwhile, in town, Chopper was looking for Zoro.

_Awoooooooo_

He cocked his head. "Zoro?"

* * *

A couple of Marines came down to the brig to check on their prisoner. To their annoyance, the cell was in quite a state: The benches were broken, scuff marks littered the floor, and the walls had a few dents in them.

Zoro was kicking the wall. He looked up and his tail wagged for a brief moment before he realized they were Marines. His tail went stiff. He glared at them and growled.

They stepped back.

"Nice dog?" one of them whispered.

Zoro leapt forward with a snarl. They shrieked and flinched, closing their eyes in fear.

When they opened them again, Zoro was unlocking the cell door with their keys.

"Hey—!"

"Yes," Zoro exclaimed as the door swung open. He threw down the key ring and darted down the hallway.

* * *

Zoro leapt off of the ship after taking down all the Marines in his way. He had found his swords near the end of the brig hall and sheathed them as he landed.

"Zoro?"

Zoro looked up and saw Chopper staring at him in wonder.

"Hey," he said casually, straightening up. "Is lunch ready yet?"


	23. Forgive Me 2

**Lew-****_chan_**** requested an angsty-er version of chapter 19. I dunno if this is good enough but HEY I tried.**

**Non-humans: WW Zoro**

* * *

_Zoro has been a werewolf for a little over a month. The crew has not found out yet. This is his second transformation . . ._

"So . . . can you not come up to the crow's nest?" Zoro asked, rubbing the back of his neck.

Luffy grinned. "Sure, okay."

Zoro nodded and headed up. The others were already inside, falling asleep. Luffy stared up at the full moon.

Not fifteen minutes before dawn, Luffy looked up to the crow's nest. He frowned when he thought he saw a strange shape moving around inside.

Heading to the ropes, he climbed up and listened at the covered entrance. There were clicking sounds, like a dog's nails on the floor, and growling.

"Zoro?"

The growling suddenly intensified and came closer. There was the sound of canine-like sniffing near the entrance, whining, and scrabbling.

Luffy shoved away the weight covering the hole. "Hey, Zoro, are you okay—?"

He was bowled over and flew down with the wolf from the crow's nest. Sitting up and shaking his head with the wolf, they turned and looked at each other. They locked eyes.

Luffy's eyes widened in surprise. "Huh?" he exclaimed.

The wolf snarled and leapt forward, tackling Luffy to the ground.

"Ah—wait—" Luffy said, placing his hands on the wolf's chest (marked with that familiar scar) and trying to keep him away. "Wait—Zo—!"

His hands slipped and the wolf lunged, snapping his jaws over Luffy's shoulder. Blood spurted and Luffy let out a strangled yell of pain.

"Zoro—!" he gasped, clutching his shoulder and looking into the wolf's yellow eyes pleadingly. "It's—_me_! Stop . . . !"

The wolf seemed to hesitate for a moment before the cold bloodlust returned. He snarled and closed his powerful jaws on Luffy's side, tearing at flesh and licking his lips, covered with warm blood.

"Zo . . ."

Luffy's eyes rolled up in his head and he fainted onto the deck. The wolf snarled and bit savagely into his prey once more.

"GET AWAY FROM HIM!"

The wolf turned and yelped loudly as Chopper head-butted him in the side, knocking him away from Luffy.

"Guys!" Chopper yelled. "Emergency!"

A moment later the crew came outside, looking around. They saw Luffy and rushed over.

"What happened?" Usopp cried, staring at Luffy's horrible wounds in shock.

Chopper gestured to the wolf. The wolf was starting to rise, shaking his head. He turned, snarled at the crew, and charged.

"You shitty beast!" Sanji yelled, leaping up and kicking the wolf's back, driving him to the deck. The cook landed and stood with one foot on the wolf's side, keeping him down. Chopper knelt by Luffy and started checking over his wounds.

Luffy's eyes fluttered open. He tried to speak, but turned his head and vomited into the grass.

"Chopper," he croaked. "Zo . . . ro . . ."

"Zoro?" Chopper said, looking around. He frowned. "Guys? Where's Zoro?"

The others looked around.

"He wasn't in the bedroom," Brook said thoughtfully.

Robin crossed her arms briefly.

"I don't see him, but his clothes are up in the crow's nest," she said. A moment later a chain of phantom hands carried down Zoro's clothes to the deck. The crew stared at them.

"Luffy, stay still, okay?" Chopper said, scooping him up. "You can talk to Zoro later."

Luffy weakly shook his head, but his eyes closed and he fainted again in Chopper's arms. Chopper turned to head to the infirmary—

The sun peeked over the horizon and the wolf's struggles ceased. The creature let out a long whine and the others tensed. Chopper held Luffy in the same way a mother would hold her infant out of harm's way.

The wolf began to tremble. Sanji slowly lifted his foot. As they watched, the fur covering the wolf's body quivered and shrank back into the skin, which became tan and smooth. Limbs shifted and lengthened, the torso moved, and the muzzle shrank and flattened. Robin had the sense to throw Zoro's _haramaki_ over the creature's lower half.

In just a minute, Zoro—in human form—was left sleeping on his side. His face and hands were splattered with Luffy's blood, and his green tail twitched in his sleep.

He slowly opened his eyes and blinked hard in the morning sun.

"Hey," Usopp whispered. "Hey—what's going on?"

Zoro sat up slowly and, judging by the look on his face, came to the realization that he was out on the deck and surrounded by the crew. He winced and put a hand to his head as the memories from the previous night came pouring back.

He opened his eyes in absolute horror.

"Luffy," he whispered, covering his mouth as he tasted the blood again. He looked up at Chopper, who was still holding their mauled captain.

"Oh, god," he whispered, his eyes wide. "Luffy . . ."

Chopper hesitated, then turned and quickly carried Luffy to the infirmary.

Zoro stared at his hands, stained with his captain's blood.

Robin wordlessly handed him his clothes. He slowly pulled them on, stood, and staggered towards the bathroom.

Once inside, he shut the door and leaned against it, breathing heavily. He turned on the water and began scrubbing his hands raw, splashing water on his face.

He looked at himself in the mirror. Luffy's blood was still clear on his lips.

* * *

Chopper came out of the infirmary. The others looked up from the kitchen table.

"How is he?" Nami asked softly.

Chopper offered a weak smile. "He'll be okay in a day or two. He just needs a lot of rest now."

The others breathed sighs of relief.

"So . . ." Chopper jumped up onto his chair. "Zoro was . . ."

". . . The wolf," Sanji muttered, lighting up a cigarette. "God knows what happened . . ."

"Some kind of werewolf?" Robin suggested. "The moon was full last night, wasn't it?"

"That'd make sense," Franky agreed. "But . . . this can't have been his first time transforming. His clothes were off . . ."

"Why didn't he say something?" Brook wondered aloud.

"Never mind that, can you imagine what he must be feeling right now?" Usopp said, grimacing. "I mean—he obviously wasn't in control when he was a wolf—and it looks like he remembered what happened—"

"I'll see if I can talk to that shithead," Sanji said, standing. He left the room and headed for the bathroom.

He returned only a few minutes later. "He's sleeping up in the crow's nest. Must be exhausted from last night."

* * *

As Sanji served up dinner, Usopp returned, shaking his head.

"He still won't come down," he said resignedly. "He wouldn't even look at me."

"He's gotta eat _something_," Sanji muttered, laying out food for Zoro anyway. "He'll come when he's hungry, I guess . . ."

Chopper came out of the infirmary.

"How's he doing?" Franky asked.

Chopper smiled. "Better. He can move around a bit now." The smile slipped off his face. "He keeps asking for Zoro."

"Well, tell him the shithead's being stupid and he's decided to live in the crow's nest," Sanji snapped.

* * *

By afternoon of the next day, Luffy was up and moving around, though Chopper protested.

"You need to take it easy!" he exclaimed as Luffy swung his arms around, stretching his legs. "Move _slowly_! No stretching!"

Luffy folded his arms. "I'm fine. Where's Zoro?"

"He's still in the crow's nest," Usopp said. "He hasn't come down since . . ."

He trailed off. Luffy headed to the crow's nest, stretched his arm up to the entrance, and rocketed up.

"I said no stretching!" Chopper cried.

Luffy bounced off of the ceiling and hit the floor hard.

"Ow," he muttered, feeling his injuries. He looked up at Zoro, who had turned away.

"Zoro."

Zoro flinched.

"I resign," he said.

Luffy sat next to him and stared at him. "What?"

"I'll leave the crew," Zoro said, still refusing to look at Luffy. "What I did was—unforgivable. I know that no amount of apologies would make up for this."

"Zoro, look at me," Luffy said.

Zoro slowly turned and met Luffy's eyes—brown and yellow.

Luffy punched him in the jaw.

"Ow!" Zoro rubbed his jaw and stared at Luffy.

"Don't be stupid!" Luffy exclaimed. "What are you talking about?"

"I—" Zoro stared at him. "We both know what happened that night. I—" he gritted his teeth. "I _attacked_ you, even after you told me to stop—"

Luffy hit him again.

"Ow!"

"You're an idiot," Luffy scolded. "That obviously wasn't _you_, Zoro!"

"It _was_ me," Zoro argued. "I'm a were—"

"A werewolf? So what?" Luffy exclaimed. "You would never attack me like that, so I don't care if that's what you look like sometimes, _it wasn't you_!"

He punched Zoro again.

"Ow!"

"So cut out all this moping already!" Luffy said firmly. "Captain's orders! Get down from here and we'll have lunch, okay?"

Zoro rubbed his head. "Luffy . . ."

Luffy stood, wincing slightly as his arm moved. "What?"

"I'm sorry," he murmured, his head bowed low.

Luffy grinned. "Don't worry about it. I'm fine! And you aren't leaving this crew unless I say so!" he headed for the entrance. "C'mon, let's have lunch! I'm starving!"

Zoro slowly stood and followed his captain down to the deck.


	24. Kuraigana Island 2 and Kamabakka Kingdom

**DarkFlames73 requested 3D2Y Vampire Sanji and 3D2Y Vampire Zoro!**

**Non-humans: Vampire Sanji, Vampire Zoro**

* * *

As Sanji ran from the _okama_s, the sun began to feel uncomfortably warm on his skin. He realized that the sunscreen was starting to wear off—he might well burst into flame at any minute.

Whipping around, he looked at the _okama_s as one and yelled, "STOP!"

They all froze in place.

"Sanji-_kun_, what's wrong?" cried Elizabeth.

Sanji ignored them and slowly backed away, keeping his eyes fixed on them to keep them frozen. When he was a good distance away, he turned on his heel and sprinted for the nearest shade.

_Much later_

"Right, I should probably tell you something if I'm staying here," Sanji said to the _okama_ queen. "I'm a vampire."

"Okay," Ivankov said as if it were a perfectly normal thing. "Then Vi suppose vyou'll be vanting blood?"

"Y-Yeah," Sanji said, a bit taken aback by the queen's completely casual attitude. "I'm also nocturnal, and if I have to go out in the daytime, I need a lot of sunscreen, and preferably sunglasses . . ."

"How long can vyou go vithout blood?"

Sanji looked uncomfortable. "About three days is the limit. Any longer and I start getting weaker. This is my second day without."

"Very vell," Ivankov said. "Vyou cannot digest ordinary food?"

Sanji shook his head.

"Vi see," Ivankov continued. "Vi hope this vill not become a problem."

Sanji shrugged.

Several seconds of silence passed.

"VYOU'RE A VAMPIRE?!" Ivankov screamed, shooting up from the chair and almost hitting the ceiling.

"DID THAT ONLY JUST SINK IN?!"

Ivankov straightened up. "Vell! A vampire! Vi see!"

They held out their arm. Sanji stared uncomprehendingly.

"Vyou should drink to keep vyour strength up," the queen explained.

Sanji made a face. "Well . . ."

Ivankov threateningly made spikes appear on their other hand.

"Okay, okay," Sanji muttered. He bowed his head and bit the _okama_'s arm.

After a few minutes he withdrew, closing the wounds.

"Vi vill make sure vyou get blood at least every other day," Ivankov promised.

". . . Thanks," Sanji muttered.

* * *

"Oh, there's something you two should know," Zoro said about a minute after Mihawk agreed to train him. "I'm a vampire."

Mihawk and Perona stared at him.

Zoro scratched the back of his neck and looked between them. "So . . ."

"You need blood," Mihawk supplied emotionlessly.

Zoro nodded. "It doesn't have to be from the source—if you have any blood packs—"

"I do not have any of those," Mihawk said. "How long can you go without drinking?"

"After three or four days I start getting weak," Zoro said after a moment. "This is my first day."

Mihawk sighed. "Perhaps I should check in on the supernatural status of someone _before_ I agree to anything. In any case, Roronoa, you do not have permission to drink from me unless it is an emergency."

Zoro nodded respectfully. Both he and Mihawk looked at Perona.

"So you'll have to drink from me?" she asked.

They nodded.

"That's _so awesome_!" she exclaimed.

Zoro blinked. "Come again?"

"I _love_ vampires," she sighed, a blush creeping onto her cheeks. "Creepy creatures of the night! Bloodsucking fiends!"

"Watch who you're calling a fiend," Zoro muttered.

"That's settled," Mihawk said abruptly. "You're lucky to have landed on this island, Roronoa. The sun does not shine here."

Zoro nodded, absently wondering if it had really been a coincidence.

"That reminds me," he said, yawning. "I'm nocturnal."

"That's fine," Mihawk said. "I require very little sleep."

"Oh."

"Can you drink from me now?" Perona asked eagerly.

Zoro scowled. "I ain't thirsty right now!"

_The next evening_

Zoro got up as the sun set (elsewhere in the world). He came out only to see an overeager Perona waiting just outside.

"What do you want?" he muttered, yawning and running his hand through his hair.

"Are you thirsty?" Perona asked eagerly.

Zoro rolled his eyes. "Yeah." He directed his gaze to her. "Hold still."

She froze. Her eyes tracked his movements as he took one of her arms and lifted it to his mouth.

"No!" she exclaimed just before he could bite down. "Do it from the neck! That's how it's supposed to go!"

Zoro dropped her arm and glared at her. "I forgot to tell you to shut up," he muttered, saying this last part as a command. She fell silent.

He moved forward, tilted her head slightly, and bit into her neck.

Several minutes later, he withdrew and looked away briefly to break his hold over her. Perona's eyes were beginning to flutter and she swayed in place.

Zoro sighed, picked her up, carried her to her room, and dropped her onto the bed.

"Get some rest," he muttered, heading out.


	25. Breaking out of Control

**Non-humans: Vampire Sanji**

* * *

"Guys, I was thinking . . ."

Everyone looked up from lunch to Sanji, who was leaning against the counter.

"D'you think it'd be a good idea to . . . practice breaking out of control?" he asked.

"What do you mean?" Nami asked with a frown.

"You mean breaking free of a vampire's control?" Robin asked.

Sanji nodded. "It'd be bad if one of you runs into a vampire and you're rendered helpless, right?"

"Yeah, I've been in that situation," Usopp remarked.

Sanji glared at him. "For god's sake, Usopp, that was _ages_ ago, and you don't even remember, so don't give me that attitude!"

"Yes, mom," Usopp muttered sarcastically.

"Shut up," Sanji ordered. Usopp crossed his arms grumpily. Sanji kept his gaze fixed on the sniper as he continued. "Anyway, most vampires probably aren't going to be as friendly as me and only take a little bit of blood. They'll probably want to go for the whole shebang."

Brook shivered. "I certainly wouldn't want all of my blood to be sucked out . . . oh, wait; I haven't had any blood in years! Yo-ho-ho-ho!"

Sanji rolled his eyes and glanced at Brook, breaking his hold over Usopp. "Yeah, I think you and Chopper are safe."

Chopper breathed a sigh of relief.

"This sounds pretty important," Luffy commented. "Let's do it."

Sanji nodded. "Right. I'm thinking one at a time, maybe a bit each day until you can all do it. Any volunteers?"

"I'll do it," Franky offered.

Sanji raised an eyebrow. "I'm thinking you should go last."

Franky raised an eyebrow in response. "Why's that, bro?"

Sanji gestured to him. "You still have blood, right? But it would take some work to find out where to bite to actually get some without hitting solid metal."

Franky puffed out his (metal) chest with pride. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. So you go last."

Franky shrugged.

"I'll go, then," Zoro said, scowling. "I should have no problem breaking out of your pansy-ass control."

Sanji sneered, briefly baring his fangs. "Yeah? Bring it."

They glared at each other.

* * *

After lunch, the others went outside while Zoro and Sanji stayed in the kitchen.

"Just try to break free," Sanji said as they sat across from each other. "Think you can handle that, moss-for-brains?"

"Less talk, more action, curly," Zoro snapped.

Sanji fixed his gaze on him. "Shut it."

Zoro went mute. He opened his mouth, clearly trying to express cuss words towards the cook, but he could not. He scowled, settled back, and took a deep breath, closing his eyes briefly. Opening them, he moved his mouth again to no avail.

"Want to try again later?" Sanji offered, not once removing his eyes from Zoro. Zoro fiercely shook his head and continued mouthing silent cuss words.

About ten minutes passed before Sanji looked away. As he did so, Zoro was in the middle of attempting to speak, so all that came out was, "—ter, shit-cook!"

He scowled. "I want to try again."

"Later," Sanji said firmly. "Get someone else in here and let them have a go."

"Dammit, cook, I—"

Sanji glared at Zoro. "Shut up," he ordered. "Stand up. Leave the room, and shut the goddamn door behind you."

Zoro went silent, stood, and left the room, his hands clenched into fists the entire time.

A minute later, Robin entered and sat across from Sanji.

"I'm ready," she said calmly.

Sanji looked at her in surprise. "Robin-_chwan_?"

"Do I look like someone else?"

Sanji scratched the back of his neck. "Er . . . Robin-_chwan_, you don't have to do this if you don't want to—"

"Yet I'm here, so clearly I want to," she responded. "Go for it."

Sanji hesitated.

"Sanji?"

"Well—" Sanji smiled. "Robin-_chwan_, this isn't necessary—I'll be there to protect you, if—if you—!"

She steadily gazed at him. The smile slid off his face and he glanced away.

"I have to be able to protect myself if the time comes," she said coolly. "I wouldn't want to be paralyzed in the face of an enemy. Do it."

Sanji gritted his teeth and gazed at her. "Don't . . ."

He hesitated again.

"Sanji."

"Don't move," he said at last, keeping his gaze on her.

Robin froze in place. She pressed her lips together and visibly struggled to move. After a moment, she was able to lift her hand very slowly from the table, as if it bore a heavy weight.

For a moment she looked surprised, but then her eyes flicked to Sanji, who continued to keep his eyes on her.

"Sanji," she said slowly, letting her arm fall to the table. "I don't appreciate you going easy on me."

Sanji hesitated, then deflated. "Don't move," he said firmly, re-fixing his gaze.

This time Robin could not even lift a finger. About five minutes of struggling passed.

"Robin-_chwan_, do you want to try again later?"

Robin hesitated. "I suppose so," she said at last.

Sanji looked away briefly and Robin slumped slightly, taking a deep breath. She stood and smiled. "Thank you."

Sanji smiled. "What for?"

"You listened to me and didn't hold back. I appreciate that."

She nodded to him and left.

"She's so great," Sanji sighed, hearts filling his eyes. "Oh, Robin-_chwan_!"

"Sanji! My turn!"

Sanji snapped out of his lovesick daze and looked up at Luffy. "Oh, it's you."

Luffy sat across from Sanji and grinned. "Let's do it!"

"Yeah, yeah," Sanji muttered. He stared at Luffy. "Don't move."

Luffy froze. He made a face, which was really the only sign he was struggling to move.

"Do—the voice—too," Luffy grunted, his eyes flicking to Sanji.

"You sure?" Sanji asked, frowning. "It must be hard enough trying to move."

"Do it!"

Sanji sighed. "Don't speak."

Luffy went mute. He was now frozen in place, unable to speak, and making faces as if fighting the toughest battle of his life.

Sanji did not remove his eyes. Over ten minutes passed before he sighed exasperatedly. "Luffy, look at me if you want to keep going."

Luffy's eyes immediately moved to Sanji's face. Sanji pursed his lips. "You sure . . . ? Okay."

Another minute passed with no change.

"Tell you what," Sanji said calmly. "If you can move _or_ speak, I'll make your favorite tonight."

Luffy's struggle seemed to increase tenfold. All of a sudden—

"AAAAAAHHH!"

Luffy's hands abruptly clenched into fists, he tensed up, and a yell escaped from his mouth as an enormous wave of power swept the Thousand Sunny.

Sanji's eyes rolled up into his head and he fell face-first into the table. Outside, everyone did the same, either falling to the deck or slumping where they sat.

"I did it!" Luffy exclaimed delightedly, jumping up. He looked at Sanji and blinked. "Hey, Sanji? Are you okay?"

Sanji slowly lifted his head. "What . . . did you . . . _do_?" he demanded, breathing hard.

Luffy frowned. "What do you mean? I did it! I moved and I spoke! Why did you fall asleep?"

"I wasn't—" Sanji sighed. "Never mind. Did the others feel that . . . ?"

"Feel what?"

Sanji stood and went outside. Zoro was sitting up and holding his head. Brook, Franky, Robin, Nami, Usopp, and Chopper were passed out on the deck.

"What _happened_?" Zoro groaned, looking around at the others and glancing at Luffy and Sanji. "You two, what did you do? Luffy, I heard you yell, and then . . ."

"Is everyone okay?" Luffy asked, finally getting the idea that something was not right.

"I think they're just unconscious," Zoro said, looking around again as Robin, Brook, and Franky stirred. "From whatever _that_ was . . ."

Robin, Franky, and Brook slowly sat up and looked around.

"I have a most terrific headache . . ." Brook groaned. "Oh, dear, did everyone else faint too?"

"What _was_ that?" Robin asked, looking unusually unnerved.

Franky scratched the back of his neck. "It was like . . ." he shivered. "Felt like I got hit by the train all over again . . ."

"I don't get it," Luffy said. "Why didn't anything happen to me? Why was it just you guys?"

Zoro and Sanji looked at him oddly.

Luffy blinked. "What?"

"Nothing," Zoro muttered as Usopp twitched.

* * *

**Notes on vampire control:**

**\- If a vampire commands their victim to freeze, the facial muscles and voice box will not be affected. This is why the victims can still look around with their eyes and speak when frozen in place.**

**\- When giving commands, the intent and words must be there and understood. For example, if the vampire were to say "Ta gueule" ("Shut it" in French) to someone who didn't know any French, the command would have no effect, even if the intent was there. If Sanji were to casually say "Ah, shut up," to someone while looking at them, the words would have no effect, being an offhanded comment with no intent behind them. Of course, the words must be heard by the victim, so vampires cannot control the deaf unless they know sign language, in which case the victim must be looking at the vampire's hands, and this is a lot harder to force them to do rather than force them to listen to something . . .**

**\- Resisting a vampire's control is like having or resisting Conqueror's Haki (aka King's Haki, the one you can knock out enemies with). If you have Conqueror's Haki and/or the power to resist Conqueror's Haki, you will be able to break out of the vampire's control. **


	26. April Fool's Day 1

**Happy April Fool's!**

**Non-humans: Vampire Sanji**

* * *

"Guys, I was thinking . . ."

Everyone looked up from their booty to Sanji, who was leaning against the booty.

"D'you think it'd be a good idea to . . . practice breaking out of the booty?" he asked.

"What do you mean?" Nami asked with a frown.

"You mean breaking free of a vampire's booty?" Robin asked.

Sanji nodded. "It'd be bad if one of you runs into a booty and you're rendered helpless, right?"

"Yeah, I've been in that booty," Usopp remarked.

Sanji glared at him. "For booty's sake, Usopp, that was _ages_ ago, and you don't even remember, so don't give me that booty!"

"Yes, mom," Usopp muttered sarcastically.

"Shut up," Sanji ordered. Usopp crossed his booty grumpily. Sanji kept his booty fixed on the sniper as he continued. "Anyway, most booties probably aren't going to be as friendly as me and only take a little bit of blood. They'll probably want to go for the whole booty."

Brook shivered. "I certainly wouldn't want all of my booty to be sucked out . . . oh, wait; I haven't had any booty in years! Yo-ho-ho-ho!"

Sanji rolled his booty and glanced at Brook, breaking his booty over Usopp. "Yeah, I think you and Chopper are safe."

Chopper breathed a sigh of booty.

"This sounds pretty important," Luffy commented. "Let's do the booty."

Sanji nodded. "Right. I'm thinking one at a time, maybe a booty each day until you can all do it. Any booties?"

"I'll do it," Franky offered.

Sanji raised a booty. "I'm thinking you should go last."

Franky raised a booty in response. "Why's that, booty?"

Sanji gestured to him. "You still have the booty, right? But it would take some work to find out where to bite to actually get some without hitting solid booty."

Franky puffed out his (metal) booty with pride. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. So you go last."

Franky shrugged.

"I'll go, then," Zoro said, scowling. "I should have no problem breaking out of your pansy-ass booty."

Sanji sneered, briefly baring his booty. "Yeah? Bring it."

They glared at each other's booties.

* * *

After lunch, the others went outside while Zoro and Sanji stayed in the booty.

"Just try to break free," Sanji said as they sat across from each other. "Think you can handle that, booty-for-brains?"

"Less talk, more booty, curly," Zoro snapped.

Sanji fixed his booty on him. "Shut it."

Zoro went mute. He opened his booty, clearly trying to express booty words towards the cook, but he could not. He scowled, settled back, and took a deep breath, closing his booty briefly. Opening his booty, he moved his booty again to no avail.

"Want to try again later?" Sanji offered, not once removing his booty from Zoro. Zoro fiercely shook his booty and continued mouthing silent booty words.

About ten minutes passed before Sanji looked away. As he did so, Zoro was in the middle of attempting to speak, so all that came out was, "—ter, booty-cook!"

He scowled. "I want to try again."

"Later," Sanji said firmly. "Get someone else's booty in here and let them have a booty."

"Dammit, cook, I—"

Sanji glared at Zoro. "Shut up," he ordered. "Stand up. Leave the booty, and shut the goddamn booty behind you."

Zoro went silent, stood, and left the booty, his hands clenched into fists the entire time.

A minute later, Robin entered and sat across from Sanji.

"I'm ready," she said calmly.

Sanji looked at her in surprise. "Robin-_chwan_?"

"Do I look like someone else's booty?"

Sanji scratched the back of his booty. "Er . . . Robin-_chwan_, you don't have to do this if you don't want to—"

"Yet I'm here, so clearly I want to," she responded. "Go for the booty."

Sanji hesitated.

"Sanji?"

"Well—" Sanji smiled. "Robin-_chwan_, this isn't necessary—I'll be there to protect your booty, if—if you—!"

She steadily gazed at him. The booty slid off his face and he glanced away.

"I have to be able to protect my booty if the time comes," she said coolly. "I wouldn't want to be paralyzed in the face of a booty. Do it."

Sanji gritted his teeth and gazed at her. "Don't . . ."

He hesitated again.

"Sanji."

"Don't move," he said at last, keeping his booty on her.

Robin froze in place. She pressed her booty together and visibly struggled to move her booty. After a moment, she was able to lift her booty very slowly from the table, as if it bore a heavy booty.

For a moment she looked surprised, but then her booty flicked to Sanji, who continued to keep his booty on her.

"Sanji," she said slowly, letting her booty fall to the table. "I don't appreciate you going easy on my booty."

Sanji hesitated, then deflated. "Don't move," he said firmly, re-fixing his booty.

This time Robin could not even lift a booty. About five minutes of struggling passed.

"Robin-_chwan_, do you want to try again later?"

Robin hesitated. "I suppose so," she said at last.

Sanji looked away briefly and Robin slumped slightly, taking a deep booty. She stood and smiled. "Thank you."

Sanji smiled. "What for?"

"You listened to my booty and didn't hold back. I appreciate that."

She nodded to his booty and left.

"She's so great," Sanji sighed, booties filling his eyes. "Oh, Robin-_chwan_!"

"Sanji! My booty!"

Sanji snapped out of his lovesick booty and looked up at Luffy's booty. "Oh, it's you."

Luffy sat across from Sanji and grinned. "Let's do it!"

"Yeah, yeah," Sanji muttered. He stared at Luffy's booty. "Don't move."

Luffy froze. He made a face, which was really the only sign he was struggling to move his booty.

"Do—the booty—too," Luffy grunted, his booty flicking to Sanji.

"You sure?" Sanji asked, frowning. "It must be hard enough trying to move your booty."

"Do it!"

Sanji sighed. "Don't speak."

Luffy went mute. He was now frozen in place, unable to speak, and making faces as if fighting the toughest booty of his life.

Sanji did not remove his booty. Over ten minutes passed before he sighed exasperatedly. "Luffy, look at me if you want to keep going."

Luffy's booty immediately moved to Sanji's booty. Sanji pursed his booty. "You sure . . . ? Okay."

Another minute passed with no booty.

"Tell you what," Sanji said calmly. "If you can move _or_ speak, I'll make your favorite booty tonight."

Luffy's booty seemed to increase tenfold. All of a sudden—

"AAAAAAHHH!"

Luffy's booty abruptly clenched, he tensed up, and a booty escaped from his mouth as an enormous booty of power swept the Thousand Booty.

Sanji's eyes rolled up into his head and he fell booty-first onto the table. Outside, everyone did the same, either falling to the booty or slumping where they sat.

"I did it!" Luffy exclaimed delightedly, jumping up. He looked at Sanji and blinked. "Hey, Sanji? Are you okay?"

Sanji slowly lifted his booty. "What . . . did you . . . _do_?" he demanded, breathing hard.

Luffy frowned. "What do you mean? I did it! I moved and I spoke! Why did you fall asleep?"

"I wasn't—" Sanji sighed. "Never mind. Did the others feel that booty . . . ?"

"Feel what booty?"

Sanji stood and went outside. Zoro was sitting up and holding his booty. Brook, Franky, Robin, Nami, Usopp, and Chopper were passed out on the booty.

"What _happened_?" Zoro groaned, looking around at the other's booties and glancing at Luffy and Sanji. "You two, what did you do? Luffy, I heard you yell, and then . . ."

"Is everyone okay?" Luffy asked, finally getting the idea that something was not right.

"I think they're just unconscious," Zoro said, looking around again as Robin's, Brook's, and Franky's booties stirred. "From whatever _that_ was . . ."

Robin, Franky, and Brook slowly sat up and looked around.

"I have a most terrific ache in my booty . . ." Brook groaned. "Oh, dear, did everyone else faint too?"

"What _was_ that?" Robin asked, looking unusually unnerved.

Franky scratched the back of his booty. "It was like . . ." he shivered. "Felt like I got hit by the booty all over again . . ."

"I don't get it," Luffy said. "Why didn't anything happen to me? Why was it just you guys?"

Zoro and Sanji looked at him oddly.

Luffy blinked. "What?"

"Nothing," Zoro muttered as Usopp's booty twitched.

* * *

**I'm so sorry**

**...wait, no I'm not**

**Anyway, happy April Fool's Day :)**


	27. Perona's Epic Quest

**CK requested Perona trying to pet/petting WW Zoro.**

**Non-humans: WW Zoro**

* * *

"Hmm . . ."

Perona sat against the wall in Zoro's bedroom, watching the werewolf lift weights.

She narrowed her eyes. "_Hmm_ . . ."

"What?" Zoro snapped without looking at her.

"Do you like being pet?"

"Why are you even in here?" he asked, ignoring the question.

"There's nothing to do around here," she complained.

"Train."

"Train for what?"

"Read a book."

"I've tried. They're boring books about swords."

"Write a story."

"Once upon a time, a cute ghost princess was bored. The end."

"Draw a picture."

"I can't find any paper."

Zoro rolled his eyes as he set his weights down. "Go away."

"Do you like being pet?" Perona asked again.

Zoro's tail twitched. "No."

Perona stood and went over to him. "You're lying," she decided.

Zoro narrowed his eyes. "Go away."

Perona reached her hand up to his ear. "I wonder if you like being pet behind—?"

Zoro smacked her hand away.

"Ow!" she cried. "You brute! _Negative Hollow_!"

A ghost sailed through Zoro. He fell to the ground in severe depression and whispered, "If I get reborn, I want to be a snail . . ."

A minute later he jumped back up and glared at Perona. "What the hell was that for?!"

"You hit me," Perona pouted.

"You were trying to scratch my ears!"

"So?"

"So cut it out!"

Perona stuck out her tongue and left the room in a huff.

* * *

"No."

Perona jerked her hand away from Zoro's ear yet again. It was dinnertime and she had snuck up behind him, trying to pet him behind his ears.

"Meanie," she muttered.

"What are you doing?" Mihawk asked uninterestedly.

"She's been trying to pet my ears for a few weeks," Zoro said.

Mihawk shrugged. "That's none of my business."

Zoro scowled at Mihawk's flat refusal to help.

* * *

Zoro was fast asleep when Perona snuck into his room. She watched him sleep for a moment before slowly and quietly approaching his bed. She reached out a hand—

—But it was seized by the ever-watchful swordsman. His eyes were open now and glaring at her.

"Get out," he snapped.

She yanked her hand out of his grasp and left.

* * *

"ENOUGH!"

Perona froze in surprise just as she started approaching Zoro.

"Huh?"

Zoro glared at her. "_One_ time," he snapped. "I'll let you do it _one_ time. _One_ time. Then you _leave me the hell alone_."

She stared at him.

"Got it?"

A bright smile appeared on her face. "Okay!"

Zoro sat on his bed. "Get it over with."

She cautiously reached her hand out. When he didn't move, she placed it behind his ear and started scratching gently.

He visibly relaxed and his eyes eventually closed. He leaned slightly into her hand.

"Aw, so cute," she cooed.

His face twitched as if starting to growl.

* * *

**By the way, I've decided not to have Vampire Franky or WW Franky in this story, so I'm sorry if any of you were planning to request that. However, I did decide that if WW Franky was left alone for a long time, he would probably break a few things (nothing serious). **


	28. Sanji Alone and Sanji in the Kitchen

**dragoscilvio requested WW Sanji with howling and a sneezing attack due to his sensitive nose.**

**Non-humans: WW Zoro, WW Sanji**

* * *

"Come _on_, Usopp, focus," Sanji muttered. He and Usopp were on a gathering mission since they were starting to run low on herbs. Usopp had passed by several herbs which Sanji had to keep pointing out (irritably) to him.

Usopp scowled as he and Sanji trooped through the forest. "Which one of us got distracted by a squirrel? Which one of us had to grab onto the other one's shirt to stop him from running off?"

Sanji's tail and eye twitched in annoyance. "It could've made a good meal."

"Yeah, I'm sure that's _exactly_ why you tried to run after it," Usopp muttered sarcastically.

"Shut up," Sanji said half-heartedly. "Now, let's see . . ."

He suddenly stopped. Usopp bumped into him and made a face. "What's the big—?"

"Shh," Sanji hissed. He turned his head this way and that, sniffing the air.

"There's something coming," he said quietly.

Usopp's eyes widened. "What?"

"Something big," Sanji said, continuing to sniff the air. "I can't really tell what it is . . ."

"A—a lion?" Usopp asked nervously. "A t-tiger? A-a bear?!"

"Now's not the time for literary references," Sanji scolded. He stiffened. "It's getting closer."

About ten feet to their left, the bushes started shaking. Usopp and Sanji whipped around.

Out of the leaves came an odd and dangerous-looking creature. It had the head and mane of a lion, the forelegs and abdomen of a tiger, and the hindquarters of a bear.

"IT'S ALL THREE?!" Usopp screeched.

"A liger-bear? I wonder what sound it makes," Sanji mused.

The liger-bear saw Usopp and Sanji, hunched its striped shoulders, and squawked like a seagull.

"THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!" Usopp and Sanji yelled.

The liger-bear squawked again and charged towards them. Usopp and Sanji dove out of the way, dropping the herbs as they hit the dirt and rolled.

They jumped back up.

"Usopp, can you fight?" Sanji demanded.

"I left my ammo back at the ship," Usopp whispered.

"Then run!"

"You don't have to tell me!" Usopp cried. "Good luck! Please don't die!"

He ran away, tripping over tree roots and throwing a glance back at the werewolf and the liger-bear.

"You wanna fight, you weirdo?" Sanji demanded with a snarl, readying his stance.

The liger-bear flinched and its eyes filled with tears. It turned away from Sanji and covered its golden muzzle with striped paws. It started to cry.

"You're sensitive?!" Sanji yelled incredulously.

The liger-bear turned back to Sanji, still crying. It squawked and leapt through the air with a magnificent leap. Sanji leapt up and delivered a kick into its underbelly. The creature squawked loudly and went flying into the trees. It hit its head and slid to the ground, unconscious.

"Damn weird thing," Sanji muttered. He straightened up and gathered the herbs he and Usopp had dropped.

Suddenly he looked around.

"Oh, no," he said. "Usopp . . . ? USOPP!"

No response.

Sanji whimpered and sniffed the air. He caught Usopp's scent and started to follow it. Unfortunately, the gunpowder was soon overwhelmed by flowery herbs and spices littering the path.

Sanji came to a stop and looked around helplessly. The feeling of horrible loneliness was increasing by the second.

He sat against a tree and started to whine.

_Back at the ship_

". . . And then it squawked like a seagull!" Usopp finished dramatically.

"Sure, sure," Nami said. "So, really, where's Sanji-_kun_?"

"I'm telling the—oh, never mind!" Usopp said, frustrated. "Sanji should be back any minute now, I bet he can track my scent or something."

Luffy, who was starting to lose interest after Usopp stopped describing the liger-bear, started picking his nose. "Yeah, he'll be fine."

Nami narrowed her eyes at him. "I'm sure he will be, but you don't have to sound so unconcerned."

Luffy shrugged. "He's Sanji. He'll be fine."

Zoro, who had been pretending to sleep, finally opened his eyes. "Usopp, you left the cook alone?"

"Yeah?" Usopp said. "What's the problem?"

Zoro rolled his eyes. "Oh, geez. Well, let's hope he doesn't get _too_ upset and topple the whole forest."

Nami frowned. "What are you talking about?"

Zoro shrugged. "Well, you know how I get if you leave me alone."

Luffy laughed. "You're not allowed to be left alone, Zoro. Nami says she doesn't want to clean up any more stuff."

Zoro flushed and coughed. "Anyway, that only happened after I became like this." He gestured to his tail. "It probably happens to other werewolves, too."

"Oh, that makes sense," Usopp said, nodding in agreement. His eyes widened. "Oh crap, Sanji!"

"That's what I was trying to tell you!" Zoro snapped.

_Awoooooooo_

The four of them fell silent at this rather eerie sound.

"Was that . . . ?" Nami asked.

_Awooooooooooooooo_

"It's him," Zoro said. "Go find him, Usopp."

"Okay, fine," Usopp muttered. "Hope he doesn't destroy the whole forest while he's upset . . ."

_. . ._

Sanji sat miserably against a tree, howling his lungs out. He occasionally stopped and simply whimpered in distress, only to resume his pitiful howling a minute later.

"Sanji!"

Sanji abruptly stopped howling and looked around. He saw Usopp coming out of the bushes and jumped up, his tail wagging furiously.

"Geez, there you are," Usopp said. He looked around. "Guess you don't mess stuff up when you get upset, huh?"

Sanji flushed. "I—um—"

Usopp grinned. "Don't worry about it, you probably can't help it. Sorry for leaving you alone! Let's go back to the ship!"

Sanji smiled and nodded. He and Usopp picked up the herbs and headed back to the Sunny.

"You have a beautiful singing voice, by the way," Usopp added.

Sanji growled.

* * *

"Sanji, what are we having for dinner?" Luffy whined, draping himself over the counter.

"Get off the counter," Sanji snapped. "We're having soup."

Luffy climbed off. "When's it gonna be ready?"

"Half an hour," Sanji said shortly. "Now get ou—ou—auh—"

He turned away from the pot and sneezed.

"Is someone talking about you?" Luffy asked.

Sanji sniffed and scowled. "That's just an old wives' tale." He turned back to the pot and started shredding more herbs, only to quickly set down the kitchen scissors and turn away to sneeze again.

"Damn, am I coming down with something?" he muttered. "I don't _feel_ sick . . ."

"Should I get Chopper?" Luffy offered.

"Nah, don't bo—"

"Oi! Chopper!" Luffy yelled, sticking his head out the door. "Sanji needs you!"

Sanji muttered something unintelligible under his breath as Chopper came in.

"What's wrong?" Chopper demanded worriedly, staring at Sanji.

"Nothing, I'm just sneezing a lo—ou—ah—" Sanji sneezed again as he set down the scissors.

Chopper ran over and looked around. His eyes settled on the bits of herb Sanji was shredding. "It might be these," he said, pointing to the bits.

"Huh?" Sanji said.

"Your nose is a lot more sensitive as a werewolf," Chopper explained. "So you might be more sensitive to the smells of the herbs."

Sanji picked up a handful, sniffed it, and quickly dumped it in the pot as he turned to sneeze again.

"I think you're right," he muttered, sniffling. "Doesn't it affect you?"

Chopper shook his head. "Werewolves' noses are better than reindeers'. I'm a bit more sensitive to the smell, but it doesn't make me sneeze."

Sanji scowled. "Good to know. Thanks. Now get out."

Chopper sighed and left the kitchen.

Sanji glanced back at Luffy. "You too!"

Luffy scurried out.

* * *

**Basically, each werewolf acts differently when left alone. Should the situations come up, I have the crew's temperament figured out. Here's what we have for the werewolves we've seen so far:**

**Luffy: Whines, mopes, rolls around**

**Zoro: Slightly destructive, nothing too serious (pulls cushions off couches, sheets off beds, knocks over chairs, etc.)**

**Sanji: Whines, howls**

**Luffy and Zoro also sometimes howl when left alone.**


	29. Dangerous Distraction and Hunting

**dragoscilvio requested WW Sanji and Zoro getting distracted from a fight and having a hunting contest as wolves.**

**Non-humans: WW Zoro, WW Sanji**

* * *

"Moss-head!"

"What was that, shit-cook?!"

"You heard me, shitty swordsman!"

Zoro and Sanji snarled and started fighting again.

Nami and Robin were sitting on lawn chairs on the stern. Nami glanced over to the two and sighed.

"Want me to help?" Robin offered without looking up.

"No, I got this," Nami said. She reached behind her chair, picked something up, got up, and walked over to where the two werewolves were fighting.

"Sanji-_kun_! Zoro!"

They looked up. She tossed the stick she was holding across the ship and they immediately ran after it.

Three splashes quickly followed this: The stick, Zoro, and Sanji.

"That'll take care of them," Nami said, turning back to Robin. "I'm sure they can get back up without help."

"Zoro!" She heard Chopper yell. This was followed by a splash.

"Oi, Chopper!" Another splash.

"Luffy-_san_!" Splash.

"What are you idiots doing?!" Splash.

Nami let out a sound that was somewhere between a groan and a scream.

"I'll go check on them," Robin offered.

"Please don't _you_ fall in, too," Nami moaned.

Robin smiled, stood, and went to help out the ones who had fallen overboard.

* * *

"Zoro . . . Sanji . . ."

Usopp poked his head into the men's quarters and tiptoed to the spot between the sleeping werewolves' beds.

"Guys," he whispered.

They didn't move.

"Guys!" he said, louder.

They turned over and glared at him. He flinched.

"What is it?" Zoro mumbled, wincing.

"Um—just thought you should know—we've docked at an island—and we're pretty sure it's uninhabited, so—"

"Okay, okay," Sanji grumbled. He turned back over. "Go away."

Usopp turned and crept out of the room.

As the sun sank below the horizon, Zoro and Sanji got up and trudged outside.

"Here's hoping we don't run into anything aggressive," Sanji muttered as he and Zoro started to strip.

"Yeah, Chopper got on my case last time," Zoro muttered, yawning.

Sanji scowled as they finished undressing (as always, they stood facing away from each other). "And whose fault—" he suddenly winced and doubled over. "Was—"

He and Zoro fell to the ground, curled up in pain.

A minute later the werewolves rose. They spotted each other, circled for a moment, and then relaxed.

Zoro pointed to the jungle on the island with his muzzle and he and Sanji leapt off of the ship, landing in the sand. They walked into the woods side-by-side.

_Let's have a hunting contest_, Zoro said suddenly.

Sanji turned towards him as they both stopped. _A hunting contest?_

_Whoever brings back the most meat here wins._

_Human meat?_ Sanji snarled softly.

Zoro looked back at the ship and growled. _There are humans _there_, but they're locked in. I don't smell humans out here. We can catch squirrels and rats._

Sanji's lip curled. _Do they taste good?_

_Probably not as good as human, but we can find out._

They turned to the jungle and prepared to run.

_Go!_

The werewolves charged into the trees.

_. . ._

_Where is the place?_ Zoro grumbled to himself, holding several small rodents in his jaws. _I found it before . . . oh._

He spotted Sanji sitting by the two nearly identical piles of game, grooming his back.

Zoro meandered over and dropped his fresh kills onto his pile. _I win._

Sanji looked up, his lip curling. _What?_

_My pile is bigger._

_Look at my catches. They obviously have more meat on them._

_So? Mine has more meat altogether._

They started growling at each other, preparing to fight.

The sun peeked over the horizon and they both whined and collapsed.

A minute later, Zoro and Sanji rose. Zoro went to the ship and came back with their clothes, tossing Sanji's at him. Sanji caught them before they hit his face and they dressed silently.

"God, my head hurts," Sanji grumbled, yawning.

"I won," Zoro said. Before Sanji could retaliate, he said, "Think we can eat this stuff?"

"I don't see why not," Sanji mused, looking at the piles. "Your stuff looks pretty stringy, but I might be able to cook it up into stew."

Zoro growled, but it was cut off by a yawn. "Let's get going."

Sanji scooped up the game and they trudged back to the ship for some much-needed rest.

* * *

**So here's what happened with the stick:**

**The stick landed in the water and Zoro and Sanji didn't stop themselves in time so they tumbled overboard with it. Chopper saw them, panicked, and jumped in to save them, forgetting he couldn't swim. Luffy saw Chopper jump in, panicked, and went to save _him_, forgetting that _he_ couldn't swim either. Brook saw Luffy jump in and went to save him, but of course he can't swim either. Usopp saw Chopper, Luffy, and Brook jump in, and finally dove after them after Brook jumped ship.**


	30. Lapdog

**MetaWolf56 requested WW Sanji trying to sit on Nami's lap (lapdog). Sorry this one's so short!**

**Non-humans: WW Zoro (not appearing), WW Sanji**

* * *

"Nami-_swan_, I have prepared a lovely _torte_ just for you, and a cup of coffee, cooled to just the right temperature . . . of love!"

Nami glanced up from her book. "Alright, just set them there," she said, gesturing to the side table. "Thanks."

"Nami-_swan_, your thanks is like a ray of sunshine from the heavens," Sanji cried, his tail curling up in delight as he clasped his hands together and swooned.

"Mm-hm," Nami muttered, holding up the book to the light to squint at a stain on one of the pages.

Sanji knelt next to her and laid his head on her lap.

"Get off!" she yelled, whacking him with the book. Sanji yelped and sat back up, rubbing his head and looking pitiful.

"F-Forgive me, Nami-_swan_—your lap looked comfy all of a sudden—" he said sheepishly.

Nami's expression softened. "You're not a lapdog, idiot."

"I'll see myself out," Sanji mumbled, his tail between his legs.

"Sanji-_kun_, wait," Nami said. "C'mere."

Sanji turned and went back to her hopefully.

Nami lifted her hand and scratched behind his ear. He melted into her hand, his tail wagging happily.

Suddenly she seized his ear and yanked him towards her. He yelped in pain.

"If you ever try that again, I won't just hit you," she hissed. She let go of his ear and he trudged away, rubbing his ear.

"That was cruel," Robin said, amused.

Nami whipped around and jumped. "When did you get in here?"


	31. Vampire Luffy

**IceTaloned Frayfu and phonenix requested Vampire Luffy!**

**Non-humans: Vampire Sanji, Vampire Luffy**

* * *

The sun was setting when Luffy found Usopp in the infirmary, being patched up by Chopper. He was covered in bruises and bumps.

"Usopp?" Luffy said. "What happened?"

Usopp looked up and jumped. "Well—" he said with a nervous laugh. "It's kinda pathetic, actually—I got in an argument with a guy at a bar, and next thing you know, we were fighting. He kind of beat me up, since I forgot my ammo back here, a-and he caught me by surprise and all—"

Luffy's expression darkened. "Is that guy still at the bar?"

"Probably, why—?"

Luffy ran off before Usopp could finish his question.

"You know he's like that," Chopper said, putting ointment on a small cut. "He'll attack anyone who hurts his friends."

"Yeah," Usopp said. "I don't think it's worth it, but once Luffy's made up his mind . . ."

"It's impossible to stop him," Chopper finished.

* * *

The bar, which had never been very popular, was almost empty. A grimy glass was being cleaned by an equally grimy barkeeper behind the counter. A mere five or so people sat around at the tables and stools.

Luffy burst through the door and everyone looked up.

"Which one of you beat up my friend?" he demanded.

"Y'mean that long-nose fella?" the barkeeper said, setting down the glass. She glanced at one of the people on a stool. "Wasn't that you?"

"Yeah, it was me," said the man in the cloak. He had a voice like rusty nails.

"Fight me," Luffy said. It was not a request.

The man stood up and strode to the middle of the room to face Luffy. He grinned. "Alright, kid, prepare yourse—"

He went flying with a single punch.

The others stared. The barkeeper's cigarette fell out of her heavily made-up mouth.

The man slowly got up from the rubble of the wall and stared at Luffy in fear and anger.

"Don't ever touch my friends again," Luffy said coldly.

He turned and walked out of the bar. But he had hardly gone ten yards when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey now, don't walk away so quickly," said the man with the rusty voice. "You're strong. You beat me fair and square. Good job."

". . . Thanks," Luffy said. "I'm gonna go now. It's gonna be dinnertime soon."

"Dinner . . ." the man muttered to himself. "Wait up. Tell me something."

Luffy stopped again, annoyed. "What?"

"You like food?"

Luffy brightened. "Of course! Meat is awesome!"

"I bet you like being out in the sun, too."

"Who doesn't? It's nice and warm! Oh, but I like snow too . . . well, I like the sun . . . hm . . ."

The man stared at him for a moment before continuing. "I have a magic trick to show you. Do you want to see it?"

"A magic trick?" Luffy exclaimed, his eyes lighting up like a child's. "Maybe you're not so bad after all, pops!"

The man twitched a bit at his new title, as he was in reality only about five years older than Luffy. He beckoned to Luffy and led him across the street to a deserted area behind a building.

"Give me a moment," he said. He took out some chalk and drew an odd circle with many symbols and shapes inside of it and around it.

"Stand here," he instructed, gesturing to the center of the circle as he stepped out. "It won't work unless you're there."

Luffy went to the center of the circle and rocked back and forth on his feet impatiently.

The man raised his hands and began speaking.

"_A desruc efil uoy tsum evil won, desruc ot evil tuohtiw eht nus . . ._"

The circle began glowing. Luffy looked down and grinned in delight.

"_Desruc ot evil no 'srehto doolb, desruc ot eid morf a elgnis tnalp . . . desruc ot evil tuohtiw egdelwonk fo ruoy skool . . . i dnammoc ti ot eb os!_"

The light from the circle lifted up, briefly surrounded Luffy, and then faded away. Luffy laughed and clapped his hands.

"Awesome trick, pops! Well, I gotta get going, bye!"

He ran off.

The man smiled evilly.

* * *

The next morning, Sanji called everyone in for breakfast. Luffy was naturally the first one up, but when he tried to run outside, he yelled out in pain and jumped back, shaking his arms.

"What's up?" Usopp asked, passing by.

"It felt like I stuck my arms in an oven or something," Luffy said in surprise.

Usopp frowned. "Weird. Well, it was probably just—I dunno—it's probably gone now."

He left with the others. Luffy tried to go outside again, but felt that horrible burning sensation again.

He narrowed his eyes at the sunlight outside.

"Hm . . ."

* * *

The others looked up as Luffy burst in, slamming the door open and then quickly slamming it closed.

"Hey, Strawhat, be careful with the door," Franky scolded. "Also, what's with that getup?"

Luffy was covered in several layers of clothes, completely covering up previously exposed skin. He threw off the extra clothing, breathing a sigh of relief.

"The sun's being stupid today, so I had to wear extra protection," he explained.

He sat down.

"You look kinda pale," Zoro commented. "Did you sleep at all?"

Luffy nodded, and then yawned. "I'm kinda tired, but yeah, I slept okay."

"What do you mean, the sun's being stupid?" Nami asked.

Luffy was just starting to shovel bacon in his mouth, but he suddenly spat it out, making a disgusted face.

"What's wrong with this bacon?" he asked confusedly.

"What do you mean, what's wrong with the bacon?" Sanji asked, looking up from the counter irritably as he stifled a yawn.

"It tastes horrible," Luffy said bluntly.

Usopp tried his bacon, and then tried Luffy's. "No, it's fine."

"But it tasted _awful_," Luffy complained. He grabbed his glass of water and gulped some down to get rid of the taste, but seemed confused when he set the glass down. "Weird, I'm still really thirsty."

Sanji stared at Luffy.

"Luffy," he said hesitantly. "What happened to you?"

Luffy looked up. "What?"

Sanji came around to the other side of the counter. "I've probably said this before, but I can sense who I can drink from—who's human and who's not."

"Yeah?"

Sanji looked at Luffy worriedly. "I'm not getting that sense from you anymore. You're not human."

Dead silence filled the kitchen.

"What're you talking about?" Luffy asked. "I'm human!"

"You're not," Sanji said firmly. He raised an eyebrow. "You're probably a . . ."

He approached the table, grabbed Usopp's wrist, and held it near Luffy's face. The veins caught Luffy's eyes, and for a moment he couldn't stop staring.

Then he shook himself out of it and stared at Sanji in surprise. "What's going on?"

Sanji dropped Usopp's wrist. The sniper rubbed it indignantly.

"You must be a vampire," Sanji said softly.

Luffy took a moment to process this. Then—

"Woo-hoo!" he yelled. "I'm a vampire!"

He got up and danced around. "Hey, Usopp, come here! I wanna drink your blood!"

"Not you, too!" Usopp screamed.

"Why are you so happy about this?" Nami yelled.

"It's gonna be hard having a ship with a nocturnal captain," Zoro commented.

"We'll find some way around it," Luffy said dismissively.

After things had calmed down, attention turned to the _how_.

"So how'd this happen?" Nami asked.

Luffy frowned. "I dunno. I didn't run into any vampires, and I think I'd remember if one of them drained all my blood . . . that's how you usually become a vampire, right?"

"It couldn't be . . ." Sanji muttered to himself, remembering his own transformation. "Luffy, you didn't stand in some weirdo's magic circle while he chanted something weird, right?"

Luffy stared at him in surprise. "How'd you know?"

Sanji groaned.

* * *

Luffy slept the day away while the others went into town to search for the spellcaster.

"Seems he left town," Nami said as the group returned for dinner.

"Great," Sanji muttered, scratching his head and yawning. "I'll have to show Luffy how to drink from someone later tonight."

"Please not me," Usopp whispered.

"Usopp, we'll practice on you."

"Oh, come on!" Usopp exclaimed. "I know you heard me whisper that! You have creepy extra-super-good hearing!"

Sanji whistled innocently. "What was that?"

* * *

Luffy got up as the moon rose, yawning. He looked around and saw Sanji coming out of the kitchen with Usopp.

"I'm practice," Usopp mumbled when Luffy looked at him curiously.

"Oh, drinking practice," Luffy said in understanding. He grinned. "Okay! Let's do it!"

"Don't worry, Usopp," Sanji said reassuringly. "If you want, you don't have to remember this."

Usopp hesitated. "I—um—okay. Wipe my memories when you're done."

"Really?" Sanji said in surprise.

"Y-Yeah," Usopp said. "Otherwise I might not get to sleep at all."

Sanji shrugged. "Fair enough, but things might get complicated tomorrow, since you won't remember giving permission."

Usopp sighed. "Get it over with!"

"Right, right. Luffy, practice control first."

Luffy nodded. "I just gotta keep my eyes on him, right?"

"Yeah."

Luffy turned to Usopp. "Usopp, stay still!"

Usopp froze in place, unable to move.

"Hey, it worked!" Luffy exclaimed, turning to Sanji and breaking his hold over Usopp.

Sanji rolled his eyes. "Your victim could have run away in the time you turned to me."

"Usopp's not a victim, he's a friend."

"That's not—never mind. Try again."

Luffy turned back to Usopp. "Okay . . . hold still! And . . . don't speak!"

Usopp froze and went mute.

"Now what?" Luffy asked, keeping his eyes on Usopp.

Sanji sighed. "Drink. Bite down on his arm or neck. Try not to be too rough. Treat your victim like you would a lady."

"What?"

"Bite nicely."

"Oh."

Luffy moved towards Usopp's neck, staring at the veins hungrily. With a quick grin and a "Sorry!" he leaned forward and bit down, drawing out delicious blood into his mouth as he supported Usopp with his hands on his back.

Eventually, Sanji put a hand on Luffy's shoulder and said calmly, "That's enough."

Luffy withdrew, the cuts closing as he looked at Sanji. "What?"

Usopp dramatically cried, "Oh!" and flopped his head backwards. Ignoring this, Sanji said, "That's about how long you should drink for. If you're really thirsty, go for a bit longer, but make sure your vict—your target is still conscious when you finish."

"Oh, okay," Luffy said disappointedly. He turned back to Usopp, who had lifted his head (since neither vampire had acknowledged his dramatic shenanigans) and was looking at Luffy nervously.

They stared at each other for a moment before Luffy turned back to Sanji. "How do I—?"

"Two fingers across the forehead," Sanji said. "They fall asleep and won't remember the encounter when they wake up."

"Got it!" Luffy turned back to Usopp. "Sorry!"

He did what Sanji had instructed. Usopp's eyes closed and he went limp in Luffy's arms, snoring softly.

Luffy carried Usopp to bed and returned to Sanji. "I'm still thirsty."

"Let's go out to town," Sanji suggested. "Chopper has blood packs in his office, but we shouldn't use those unless we have to."

Luffy nodded in understanding. The two vampires jumped off the ship onto the island below and headed out.

* * *

". . . No, you _need_ to wipe their memories."

"I don't get why!"

"Because if you don't, it makes it easier for you to attract exorcists!"

"I'll fight them off!"

"You can't if they have a cross or one of those six-pointed stars!"

"What?"

Sanji rolled his eyes. "Just do it! Trust me, it's best for everyone!"

Luffy pouted. "Fine." He grinned. "But . . . being a vampire is really great!"

Sanji gave him an odd look. "You're taking this very well."

"Yeah?" Luffy said. "Why wouldn't I?"

"Luffy, I hate to break it to you, but vampires can't eat meat."

The scream of horror that followed woke up the entire island.


	32. Vampire Robin

**IceTaloned Frayfu requested Vampire Robin~**

**Non-humans: Vampire Sanji, Vampire Robin**

* * *

"It's quite peaceful at night."

Robin and Sanji walked side-by-side in the dark town. She had been unable to sleep and he—well, he was Sanji.

"Isn't it?" Sanji said happily. "It's a beautiful romantic setting, don't you think?"

Robin shrugged.

As they walked on, they passed by a house with lights on. Sanji stopped and stared inside hungrily.

"Er . . . Robin-_chwan_—"

"Go on," Robin said, smiling. "I'll go on and you can catch up once you're finished."

Sanji smiled with delight. "Robin-_chwan_, you're so thoughtful!"

He hurried to the house and knocked on the door. Robin went on as someone inside opened up.

Robin was at the end of the street by the time the door shut. She turned the corner and stopped suddenly when someone stepped out of an alleyway.

It was a woman. Her hair was blonde and fell to her shoulders. Her skin was as pale as Sanji's and she looked at Robin with a smile.

Robin continued walking after a moment, simply going around the woman.

"H-Hey!"

The woman caught up to her and stood in front of Robin again.

"Do you want something?" Robin asked.

The blonde woman approached Robin. "You're a pretty one," she murmured.

"Do you want something?" Robin repeated, unfazed.

The woman smiled again, her red lipstick standing out against her pale, pale skin.

"What would you do if I told you I was a vampire?"

Robin immediately crossed her arms and two more arms appeared on the woman's shoulders, quickly covering up her eyes. The woman cried out in shock and indignation.

"I've dealt with vampires before," Robin said coldly.

The woman smirked, her eyes still covered by phantom limbs. "Have you ever fought tag-team?"

Robin whipped around, but it was too late.

"Don't move a muscle."

Robin froze in place and her extra limbs vanished as she faced a second woman. This one had darker skin than her companion, but still had the ashen quality one sees in the ill. Her hair was dyed white and was curled into ringlets.

"Don't speak," the first woman purred, coming around to face Robin. She and her companion didn't move their eyes from Robin as they stared at her hungrily.

"'You're a pretty one,'" the white-haired woman mocked. "Keep flirting with every pretty thing we come across and I'll think you won't want me anymore."

"Oh, don't get your panties in a knot," the blonde woman said carelessly. "She _is_ pretty, but she's just a meal."

"I'll go first," the white-haired woman said, licking her lips. The paler woman kept her gaze on Robin as her girlfriend approached the paralyzed beauty.

"You must taste _delicious_," she whispered, swiftly biting into Robin's neck. Robin winced. The vampire began drawing out her blood.

After a couple minutes, the blonde vampire crossed her arms impatiently. "Come on, let me have some . . ."

"I've barely started," the white-haired one said, but she let go of Robin anyway. They traded places—the white-haired one kept control over Robin while her girlfriend moved forward and held up Robin's arm.

Robin couldn't do a thing as the blonde vampire bit into her forearm and sucked.

After another few minutes, the vampires traded places again. It took a few rounds of this before Robin began to feel woozy.

"Oh, are you feeling tired?" the white-haired woman said mockingly as she took her place next to Robin's neck again. "Don't worry. This will all be over soon. Then you won't feel tired ever again."

She bit down yet again and drew out more blood.

In about ten minutes, Robin was struggling to stay conscious.

"I don't think we have to control her anymore," the blonde woman mused. She glanced away from Robin and the control broke.

Robin was swaying dangerously and finally fell to her knees. She tried to struggle to her feet, but collapsed, breathing shallowly. Her vision had gone blurry and she finally lost consciousness.

"Goodie!" the white-haired woman exclaimed. "Now we can finish her off faster!"

She took the neck and the blonde woman took the forearm. They bit in and drew out Robin's blood twice as quickly now.

"Robin-_chwan_, I—ROBIN-_CHWAN!_"

The vampire couple looked up and saw Sanji standing there, looking livid.

"Get AWAY from her!" he yelled angrily, his eyes glowing red.

"Did you have a claim on her?" the blonde woman asked as she took her mouth off of Robin's arm. She glanced at her girlfriend. "We should start asking our victims first."

"Then they'll just lie," the darker-skinned one hissed as she took her mouth away from Robin's neck. Robin fell limply to the ground.

"I'm not going to hurt you," Sanji hissed. "Just—get away from her."

"Fine," the blonde vampire said as they stood up. She flipped her hair. "We were about done anyway."

"Let's go, babe," her girlfriend said. They shared a kiss before running off into the night.

Sanji hurried to Robin and lifted up her head. He frowned and pressed his ear to her chest. Her heartbeat was faint.

"Robin-_chwan_, I'm so sorry," he whispered. He scooped her up in his arms and ran for the ship.

* * *

"CHOPPER!"

Chopper looked up to see Sanji running towards him. He spotted Robin and cried out. "What happened?!"

Tears filled Sanji's eyes. "She was attacked—I wasn't there to p-protect her—!"

"What happened to her?" Chopper demanded urgently, turning big and taking Robin.

"Vampires," Sanji said, the tears spilling over. "I was busy with m-my own _selfish_—"

"Whining and moaning won't help anything now!" Chopper exclaimed. He ran to the infirmary with Sanji close behind.

"She was attacked by vampires?" Chopper asked. He spotted lipstick on Robin's arm and added, "Women?"

"Two ladies," Sanji said.

"She's so pale," Chopper whispered worriedly. "I-I need to prepare a blood transfusion stat!"

Sanji pressed his ear to Robin's chest.

"Sanji, now is not the time to—"

"Her heart," Sanji whispered.

"What?"

"Her heart stopped."

Chopper began to cry. "I—Robin—!"

Sanji's eyes widened. "Chopper, I need a blood pack."

Chopper stared at him for a moment before his eyes widened as well. "Oh!"

He turned to the icebox and swiftly tossed a pack to Sanji. The vampire ripped it open, forced Robin's lips apart, and poured the blood into her mouth.

"Robin-_chwan_ . . . !" he sobbed. "Please, live!"

Chopper stroked Robin's throat.

She swallowed.

Hope came into Sanji's eyes and he continued pouring blood down her throat while Chopper helped her swallow.

When the blood pack was empty, Robin sat still for a moment. Then—

She opened her eyes.

"What happened?" she murmured.

Sanji burst into tears. "Robin-_chwan_! Oh, Robin-_chwan_!"

"Robiiiiiin!" Chopper cried, jumping into her. She smiled and hugged him.

"I'm alright," she said soothingly. "Sanji? Did you save me?"

Sanji covered his face. "I'm not worthy, Robin-_chwan_! If I had been a little later—!"

"It's okay, don't worry yourself," she said reassuringly. "You _were_ in time, and that's all that matters."

Sanji continued to cry.

Robin frowned, finally sensing that something was off about herself. She pressed her fingers to her neck and her brow furrowed. She pressed her hand to her chest, and then looked at Sanji.

"Sanji . . . ? Did you . . . ?"

Sanji nodded. "Robin-_chwan_ . . . I'm so sorry . . . you must hate me . . ."

"Why would I hate you?"

Sanji looked up.

"Better a vampire than dead, right?" she said, smiling. "It was my own carelessness that got me into this mess, not yours."

Sanji looked down as his eyes filled with tears again.

"Robin-_chwan _. . ." he sobbed. "You're so . . . !"

She smiled. "Sanji, it's okay," she said soothingly. She looked down at Chopper, who was still clinging to her. "Do you want to do a checkup?"

Chopper nodded.

"Sanji?"

Sanji looked up again.

". . . Were you going to stay here?"

Sanji nodded.

Robin sighed. "I expect you to leave once Chopper's done."

Sanji nodded again.

* * *

At breakfast the next morning, the crew naturally noticed Robin's conspicuous absence.

"Where's Robin?" Luffy asked Nami.

"I don't know," Nami said worriedly. "She didn't come back last night."

Everyone turned to look at Sanji.

"She, uh . . ." Sanji said nervously. "She's sleeping . . . in . . . the infirmary . . . right, Chopper?"

Chopper nodded.

"Did she get hurt?" Usopp demanded.

Sanji started crying again.

"Cut the waterworks and tell us," Zoro snapped.

"Shut up, shitty swordsman!" Sanji yelled. "My—My precious Robin-_chwan_ is—"

"She's a vampire," Chopper said.

"WHAT?!" Usopp screamed.

"Chopper-_san_, you ruined the drama!" Brook exclaimed indignantly.

"Sorry?" Chopper said confusedly.

"What did you do?" Franky demanded of Sanji.

"I wasn't the one who attacked her!" Sanji yelled. "But I might as well have been—for all the help I was—"

"Robin was attacked by two vampires and Sanji barely got there in time," Chopper explained quietly.

"Oh," Luffy said. "But she's okay, right? She's just a vampire now?"

Chopper nodded.

Nami groaned. "As if she wasn't morbid already . . ."

* * *

As the moon rose, Robin came out of the infirmary. Her skin was pale and she greeted the crew calmly. Since they had set sail that afternoon, she would be staying up on watch with Sanji that night.

"Hey, Usopp, will you be our practice?" Sanji called.

Usopp immediately ran inside and slammed the door shut.

"Guess not," Sanji muttered. He turned and found Luffy standing behind him, grinning eagerly.

"Really?" he said. "Okay, Robin-_chwan_, do you want to practice on him?"

"Sure," Robin said. "It doesn't make much of a difference to me who it is."

As the others went to bed, Robin faced Luffy. "Hold still, please."

Luffy froze. Robin told him to be silent. She moved forward and bit into his neck gently.

After a few minutes she withdrew, closing the cuts. She glanced at Sanji and smiled. "How was that?"

Sanji gave her a thumbs-up. "Nice, Robin-_chwan_!"

"I know how to wipe memories, but . . ." She glanced between Luffy and Sanji questioningly.

"I wanna remember this!" Luffy protested.

"Very well," Robin said agreeably. She let Luffy go and he bounced away to bed.

"G'night!" he called after him.

Robin smiled and turned back to Sanji. "What do you usually do on these nights?"

"Oh, I—well, I'll just walk around, read down in the library, write up recipes . . ."

"I'll be in the library," Robin said. "Feel free to join me."

She disappeared.

"She's so great," Sanji sighed happily.


	33. I Can't Be a Monster

**OH MY GOD THIS CHAPTER IS SO LONG **

**I mean, hi!**

**This one's basically about Sanji having a different reaction to his vampire transformation, other than the "Welp, this is a thing now, guess I gotta drink blood and stuff."**

**Minor AU where Chopper doesn't keep blood packs in his office.**

**Non-humans: Vampire Sanji**

* * *

_Sanji has become a vampire and he has just found out after breakfast. The crew is unaware._

"No, no, no," Sanji whispered to himself. "Oh god, no."

He pulled out a hand mirror and held it up to his face. He was not reflected back.

"No . . ."

He dropped the mirror onto the counter and put a hand to his head.

"A . . . vampire . . ."

He ran his pale fingers through his hair. "A shitty vampire . . ."

A memory from his childhood came back to him violently.

_". . . and so the beast was vanquished by the hero."_

_"Why was it bad?"_

_"Because he was drinking blooood." The person reading the story to him wiggled their fingers when they said the word. "Only monsters drink blood."_

"Am I . . . a monster . . . ?"

Sanji stared at his pale hands with dawning horror.

"No," he said to himself, pacing the kitchen. "No . . . I can't be a monster . . ."

He laughed a little bit. "I just . . . yeah. A few things . . . changed . . ."

He stared up at the ceiling.

"I'm . . . allergic to sunlight," he said. "My taste buds are off . . . but they'll get better soon! The mirror must be broken. Yeah . . . and I'm just . . . dehydrated or something."

He grabbed a glass, filled it up, and gulped down the water. He slammed the glass back on the counter, his thirst unsatisfied.

"I'll . . . drink more later," he mumbled. "Then . . . it's gotta go away."

His words sounded unconvincing, even to him.

"I can't be a monster . . ."

* * *

Sanji convinced himself that he just hadn't gotten enough sleep last night when he started yawning again. He refused to sleep—he wasn't _nocturnal_, of course! He was just a bit tired. So he forced himself to stay awake as he blearily read the recipe book, getting ready to make lunch.

"Sanji!"

Sanji looked up as Luffy strolled in. He ducked away from the sunlight. Luffy shut the door and cheerfully asked when lunch was.

"Um . . ." Sanji yawned and scratched his head. "I dunno . . . an hour."

"Man, that's a long time," Luffy complained, rocking on his feet.

Sanji looked up, about to answer, but the veins on Luffy's neck caught his eyes. He licked his lips and stared, and for a minute he didn't notice Luffy speaking to him.

"Sanji . . . Sanji . . . ?" Luffy frowned and waved a hand in front of Sanji's face. "SANJI!"

Sanji shook his head and looked at Luffy, dazed. "Wha?"

"Are you okay?" Luffy asked, looking unusually concerned. "You were looking at me funny."

"I'm fine," Sanji said, turning away from Luffy. "Sorry, I'm just tired. You can come back in when you smell the food cooking."

Luffy grinned, satisfied with Sanji's reassurance. "Alright, thanks!" He ran out.

Sanji sighed. Surely he wasn't _really _lusting after blood? It had to be all in his head. He just hadn't been able to get the idea of vampires out of his head, and now he was subconsciously thinking about blood too much.

That was it, really.

* * *

Lunchtime rolled around. Sanji took the quiche out of the oven. Luffy, with his uncanny sense of smell, had been waiting for nearly ten minutes. Sanji had refused to look at him.

The quiche smelled wonderful. Sanji discreetly picked off some of the crust and tried it, but quickly turned and spat it into the garbage, which was exactly what it had tasted like.

"Something wrong?" Luffy asked.

Sanji shook his head. "Not really," he said, yawning. "My taste buds have been a bit weird today, but I'm sure they'll be fine tomorrow."

"Oh, okay," Luffy said.

"Go get the others, will you?"

Luffy ran outside and brought the crew in. They sat around while Sanji served up the quiche, determinedly not looking at any of them.

"Thank you, Sanji-_kun_," Nami said as she got hers.

Sanji's eyes filled with hearts and he happily looked at Nami as he cried, "Thank you, Nami-_swan_—!"

He broke off as he noticed her delicate wrist. The blue veins beneath the skin were so close to the surface . . . he could picture the blood running through them . . .

"Sanji-_kun_?"

Sanji looked up at Nami. She and the others were staring at him worriedly.

He smiled nervously. "Forgive me, Nami-_swan_, I zoned out for a moment there."

He retreated behind the counter and busied himself with cleaning up.

It was appreciation of her body . . . that was all. The veins _did_ look nice . . .

Yeah, that was all. Nothing else.

Before Sanji knew it, the others had left, their dishes dumped into the sink. Robin was starting to wash them.

"It's my turn," she explained when Sanji glanced back at her confusedly.

"Oh, Robin-_chwan_, you don't have to w-worry about that," he said as he stifled another yawn.

"Are you feeling alright?" she asked. "You look very pale."

Sanji jumped. "I'm feeling fine! Just a bit—under the weather—I'm sure I'll be better in a day or two."

She smiled. "I hope so. We can't have our cook getting too sick."

He smiled nervously and turned away quickly to finish cleaning.

* * *

Sanji didn't look at any of the crew at dinnertime. His thirst had become worse throughout the day, and no amount of fluids would quench it.

Thankfully, no one seemed to notice.

Night fell. The crew went to bed, and Sanji followed, relieved to get some sleep at last.

He woke up around midnight and was unable to get back to sleep. He lay in bed for a while before getting up and quietly leaving to take a walk around the ship.

Although it was the new moon, everything was surprisingly clear. Sanji frowned, then nervously laughed to himself. His vision had improved? Maybe he had been eating well—before today.

"Who's there—?"

Sanji turned and saw Brook slowly approaching him.

"It's just me, Brook," he muttered.

Brook stopped. "Ah, Sanji-_san_. Forgive me, it's hard to see without the moon—though I don't have any eyes to see with in the first place, yo-ho-ho-ho!"

"Mm-hm," Sanji muttered. He yawned.

"Why are you out here?" Brook asked.

"Couldn't get back to sleep," Sanji muttered. "Thought I'd . . . walk around a bit . . ."

"Are you feeling well, Sanji-_san_?" Brook asked hesitantly. "Unless my eyes deceive me, you look very pale . . . and it's likely they _are_ deceiving me, since I don't have any eyes in the first place!"

"You already made that joke."

"Old age, Sanji-_san_," Brook said solemnly. "It makes you forget things."

Sanji chuckled. "You're still young at heart—"

"—Even though my ribcage is as empty as my stomach," Brook completed. "Well, you may be on your way, and best of luck with whatever form of insomnia you may have!"

"Thanks," Sanji said. He went off to the back of the ship.

* * *

_Day 2_

Morning dawned and Sanji hurried to the kitchen before the sun could properly rise. He was yawning again and finally feeling tired enough to sleep—but it was _morning_! Sleep could wait until the sun went down.

His thirst was as persistent as ever. He made breakfast slowly, and the sun was over the horizon by the time he called the others in.

"Sanji?" Chopper said. "You look sick. Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm fine," Sanji mumbled. "Just couldn't sleep last night."

"Go to bed early tonight," Chopper ordered sternly.

"Kay," Sanji mumbled, yawning.

"Sanji, may I have more coffee?" Robin asked, holding up her cup.

"Of course, Robin-_chwan_," Sanji said, coming over to her with the coffeepot. He deliberately kept his eyes away from her and focused completely on the cup.

* * *

Sanji was washing dishes after the crew had left when another wave of tiredness hit him, so hard it was almost nauseous.

"Maybe . . . a little nap . . ." he mumbled. "Won't . . . hurt . . ."

He lay down, put the dirty towel under his head, and fell asleep almost immediately.

* * *

Luffy woke him up for lunch. He panicked when he realized he'd forgotten to finish washing dishes.

"I didn't mean to sleep that long," he muttered, standing slowly. "Shit . . ."

"You sure you're okay?" Luffy asked.

Sanji refused to look at him. "Yes, Luffy."

Luffy frowned, but didn't comment on it further.

* * *

The rest of the day and night passed much like the day before. The next day was nearly identical, the only difference being Sanji's slowly increasing thirst.

* * *

_Day 4_

Sanji swayed dangerously as he cooked up breakfast. The dark circles under his eyes had gotten worse, even more so against his pale skin. They had docked at a town last night, and Sanji had managed to stay awake all night, cooking up meals for the next three days.

He swallowed and gathered up enough energy to call everyone in for breakfast. He slowly set the table while they piled in.

"Pancakes!" Luffy exclaimed delightedly.

"Awesome!" Usopp exclaimed. They both began shoveling them in.

"Sanji-_kun_, may I have some orange juice?" Nami asked.

"Of course . . ." Sanji mumbled, yawning. His vision blurred as he approached the fridge and he shook his head and rubbed at his eyes. When his sight was clear again, he got out the orange juice and brought it back to the table.

"Your juice . . . my dear," Sanji said. He slowly and carefully poured the juice with trembling hands. It was a wonder none of it spilled.

"Sanji-_kun_? Are you okay?" Nami asked worriedly.

"I'm fine," Sanji mumbled.

Nami frowned and narrowed her eyes. "You look god-awful."

"I'm fine. Just tired."

Sanji staggered back to the counter and began cleaning up. The others glanced around but said nothing.

After breakfast, they dumped their dishes in the sink, bid Sanji a worried farewell, and left.

"Sanji?" Chopper said as he left. "Come see me in my office before lunch. I'll give you something for insomnia."

"Mm," Sanji mumbled.

"Sanji-_kun_."

Sanji didn't have to look up to know it was Nami speaking. She must have stayed behind while the others left.

"Sanji-_kun_, please tell me what's wrong."

Sanji didn't look at her. "Just insomnia, Nami-_swan_."

"You haven't looked at any of us for days."

Sanji still didn't look up from the counter.

"Sanji-_kun_, look at me."

She had gotten up and moved closer to him. They were standing across from each other, the counter the only thing between them.

"Sanji-_kun_, _look_ at me."

Sanji slowly looked up at her.

Her face betrayed her worry, but Sanji barely registered this as his eyes went to the veins on her neck. He swore he saw them pulsing faintly and he slowly licked his lips. They were so close to the skin, and he knew how rich the neck was in veins, in _blood_. They were teasing him. It wouldn't be hard to break open the skin and receive the delicious red fluid inside. All it would take was some kind of sharp object, a knife, scissors, _teeth_—

"Sanji-_kun_!"

Nami snapped her fingers in front of his eyes and he looked at her, blinking confusedly. He quickly looked away.

"Nami-_swan_," he whispered. "Please leave."

"Not until you tell me what's wrong!"

"Please . . . just go."

There must have been something in his voice that time, for the next thing he heard was Nami turning and leaving the kitchen, the door shutting behind her.

Sanji hated himself right there. He had actually fantasized about slicing open her precious throat to satisfy his own twisted, insane desires.

Was he a monster after all?

He got up with shaky legs and grabbed some paper and a pen. His vision was blurry again, and he could barely see what he was writing. His hands shook madly as he wrote.

When he was finished, he slapped it onto the fridge and watched it flutter down, since he had forgotten about the existence of tape and magnets. He laughed deliriously and staggered to the pantry.

He took the key out of his pocket, locked the door, went inside, and shut it, successfully locking himself in.

_Now they'll be safe from the monster._

He laughed to himself again before slipping into unconsciousness, brought upon him by the awful combination of malnourishment and lack of sleep.

* * *

". . . and when he finally looked at me, he couldn't take his eyes off . . ." Nami gestured to her neck. "Then he told me to leave."

"That's definitely weird," Usopp agreed. "But . . . he's gonna see Chopper before lunch, right? Chopper can help him."

Nami still looked sad. "There's something wrong and we all know it. Why can't he tell us?"

Usopp shrugged helplessly.

* * *

Lunchtime rolled around and Sanji was nowhere to be found.

"He never came to my office," Chopper told the others. The crew was milling around in the kitchen.

"Where _is_ he?" Luffy whined.

Robin went around to the other side of the counter, knelt, and picked up a piece of paper. She furrowed her brow and squinted at the words.

"It's a note from Sanji," she said.

The crew crowded around to read it.

_Eveeryon  
I'm giong to town  
won't be bacck for a wile  
the food is ni the frig  
I am sorrry_

The words were shaky and barely legible.

"This is . . ." Zoro said.

"This is weird," Nami said, crossing her arms. "He looked like he could barely stand, and now he says he's gone into town?"

"Let's have lunch first," Franky said, glancing at the fridge. "Then we'll talk about what to do."

* * *

They had found meals for the next three days or so waiting in the fridge, all marked with sloppy notes on when to serve them.

Once they were finished eating, they stayed around the table and Robin brought out the note again.

"Why did he leave a note instead of telling us?" Robin murmured.

"His handwriting's way better than this," Usopp commented. "He writes in cursive. This is just a mess. The spelling's all over the place, he missed a letter here, and he added one here . . ."

"He's been so weird lately," Nami said. "He won't look at any of us, and this morning . . ." she told the others what had happened.

"That's very strange," Brook remarked.

"Why didn't he come to my office?" Chopper sighed. "I told him I was gonna give him something!"

"Maybe he's sick," Robin said. "But . . . he didn't want any of us to worry . . . so he fled into town?"

"That does sound like the kind of stupid thing he'd do," Zoro agreed.

"So we've just gotta go look for him, drag him back here, and beat an explanation out of him," Luffy said, getting up.

"Yeah, minus the beating part," Usopp said. "He's _sick_."

"We'll only hit him a little."

"I'm down with that," Zoro said, standing up. "Let's go."

* * *

_Day 8_

They had searched the entire island at least three times over the past few days to no avail and increasing frustration.

They were all worried sick, and sick of worrying.

"Ugh!"

Luffy banged the table with his fists. They had been living off of simple ingredients from the fridge, since they'd run out of pre-prepared meals, and everyone looked up from their meager dinner.

"Why is he doing this?" Luffy cried. "How can he be so selfish?"

"Luffy, we're all worried," Usopp said tiredly. "But he's just not on the island, and we have to find him if we wanna know why he's doing this."

"If he's not on the island, _where is he_?!"

"I d-don't know!" Usopp exclaimed, his eyes filling with tears. "I don't know where he is! None of us do!"

"What if . . ."

Everyone turned to Nami. Luffy and Usopp looked over, their upset shouting match broken.

"What if he never left?" Nami whispered. "What if he's still on the ship? That note could have been a red herring."

"A what?" Luffy asked. "Paper's not fish."

"Luffy, 'red herring' is just an expression," Robin explained. "It refers to something meant to throw someone off-track from the truth."

"Oh." Luffy said. His eyes widened. "If the paper's a ripe herring—"

"Red herring—" Zoro muttered.

"—then Sanji's not on the island at all?"

"That's what I was saying," Nami said exasperatedly. She stood up. "I don't think I can finish this anyway. Let's find Sanji-_kun_."

The crew stood up, their sorry meals forgotten, and ran off in different directions.

* * *

"Nothing?"

"No, he wasn't in the docking room."

"Not in the crow's nest."

"He's neither in the library nor the aquarium."

"Franky, there aren't any weird secret passages you haven't shown us, right?"

"I checked them all."

". . . That's reassuring."

They stood around the kitchen, thinking.

Robin glanced at the closed pantry door.

"Why is that closed?" she murmured.

"What?" Zoro asked, looking up.

Robin went over to the door and tried to open it, but found it locked.

"This door is locked," she said as the others gathered around. "Could he be . . . ?"

She crossed her arms and closed her eyes.

"He's there," she said with a smile of relief. "It's hard to see, but he's there." She frowned again. "He doesn't look too good."

"Well, if he's been in there for _days_, of course he doesn't look good!" Nami exclaimed.

Usopp and Chopper started to cry.

"I'm so glad . . . he's safe . . ." Usopp sobbed.

"Sanji!" Chopper exclaimed.

Luffy started pounding on the door. "Sanji!" he yelled. "We know you're in there! Open up right now!"

No response.

"Is he sleeping?" Luffy asked Robin.

"Unconscious," Robin said. "The key's next to him."

A moment later the key slid out from under the door. Luffy grabbed it and unlocked the pantry.

The door swung open to reveal Sanji. His lips were dry, his cheeks were sunken, and he didn't react to the door opening.

"Sanji!" Chopper cried. He ran forward, turned big, and picked him up. "Move it! I need to give him a checkup!"

The others got out of the way as Chopper carried the cook to the infirmary.

"I'm so glad we found him," Nami whispered.

"He looks awful," Zoro muttered.

"Of course he does," Brook said solemnly. "Let's wait for Chopper-_san_'s report."

"I'm not crying!" Franky yelled, tears clearly dripping off his face.

"No one said you were," Usopp pointed out.

* * *

When Chopper came out of his office, everyone looked up.

"Is Sanji . . . ?" Luffy said hesitantly.

Chopper approached the table quietly. "There's bad news and weird news."

Usopp looked like he wanted to say something, but Zoro covered his mouth.

"The bad news is . . . Sanji's vital signs . . . aren't there."

"What?" Usopp whispered.

"He doesn't have a heartbeat," Chopper said. "He doesn't have a pulse. He's not breathing."

Nami gasped. "You mean—no, he can't be—?"

"Wait, wait," Chopper said quickly. "That's the weird news. He's responding to stimuli."

"What?" Zoro said confusedly.

"E-Even though he seems to be—dead—he opened his eyes and said something."

"So he's okay," Luffy said with great relief. Nami sighed in relief as well.

"What'd he say?" Robin asked.

"He said 'Thirsty.' I gave him some water, but he just kept repeating 'thirsty' until he fell back asleep." Chopper looked at them worriedly. "He's really pale, his vitals aren't there, and he seems really malnourished."

"Malnourished?" Nami asked. "How can he be malnourished? He was in the _pantry_. Surely he could have grabbed some crackers or something."

"Let's go see him," Luffy said, standing.

"My office can't hold _everyone_," Chopper protested. "Two at a time."

Luffy and Usopp went first. They followed Chopper to the infirmary while the others stayed behind.

Sanji looked terrible. He was still as a corpse on the bed and pale as death.

"Are you sure he's not dead?" Luffy whispered.

"I'm not really sure, but he can talk, so I don't think he's dead," Chopper whispered back.

Luffy and Usopp cautiously came over and knelt by the bed.

"Sanji," Luffy whispered, slapping his face lightly. "Oi, Sanji."

Sanji's eyes fluttered open and he slowly turned his head to see Luffy.

"Hey, he _is_ alive," Luffy exclaimed happily.

Sanji's lips moved as if he was trying to say something.

"What?" Luffy asked, frowning.

"Blo . . . od . . ." Sanji whispered faintly.

He suddenly reached up, grabbed Luffy's wrist, and brought it close to his mouth. He bit down on Luffy's wrist—

"HEY!"

Usopp wrenched Sanji's jaw off of Luffy's wrist. The cook's head dropped back to the pillow and he stared dully at nothing.

"What the hell was that?" Usopp whispered, breathing hard. "He was—your wrist—?"

"Sanji?" Chopper said, hurrying to his side and pushing Luffy and Usopp away. "Sanji!"

No response. Sanji's eyes fluttered again and he remained limp.

"He said 'blood,'" Luffy said, crossing his arms.

"Blood?" Usopp said, frowning. "Um . . ."

"In ordinary circumstances, I'd give him a blood transfusion," Chopper said. "But I don't have any blood packs, and these aren't ordinary circumstances by any means."

"Wait," Luffy said, his eyes widening. "Wait! I got it!"

The others looked at him.

"Sanji must be a vampire!"

"What?" Usopp said, laughing. "That's ridiculous."

"A vampire?" Chopper said.

Luffy nodded quite seriously. "He's really pale," he said, counting on his fingers. "His heart's not beating, I don't see his shadow, he hasn't been eating food, he said he's thirsty, he tried to bite my wrist, and he said 'blood.' He must be a vampire!"

Usopp and Chopper looked down.

"Oh, you're right, he's not casting a shadow," Usopp remarked calmly.

"I didn't even notice," Chopper commented equally calmly.

They started screaming.

"Guys, what's the big deal?" Luffy said.

"Everything okay in there?" Zoro yelled from the kitchen.

"Everything's fine!" Luffy yelled. "Sanji's a vampire and Usopp and Chopper aren't taking it very well!"

"Sure, whatever," Zoro called, clearly not believing it.

Usopp and Chopper finally stopped screaming and stared at Sanji nervously. Chopper turned to his desk, grabbed a small mirror, and held it up to Sanji.

There was no reflection.

Usopp and Chopper screamed again.

"Guys?" Luffy said.

They stopped screaming after another minute or so, breathing hard.

"I . . ." Usopp gulped and backed away from Sanji. "I guess that does explain it . . ."

Chopper nodded. "So . . . what're we gonna do?"

"Are you stupid?" Luffy exclaimed in honest surprise. "We've gotta give him blood."

He stuck out his arm near Sanji's mouth again. Sanji grabbed it and bit down, successfully drawing out blood. His eyes remained closed this time.

"Luffy!" Usopp hissed. "Are you sure that's okay? What if he turns _you_ into a vampire?"

"Then I'll deal with it later," Luffy said in an 'obviously' tone. "If I don't do this now, Sanji might die."

Usopp looked at Sanji nervously. The cook was still contentedly sucking out Luffy's blood.

"O-Okay," he said. "If you wanna do that, I can't stop you."

"Nope," Luffy said cheerfully, watching with great fascination as Sanji sucked his blood.

Usopp and Chopper kept a close eye on Luffy. When they noticed he was starting to look woozy, Usopp wrenched Sanji's jaws off of Luffy's wrist while Chopper pulled Luffy away.

"But . . . Sanji," Luffy said.

Usopp made a sound like an otter. Luffy and Chopper looked down and saw that Sanji had latched onto Usopp's wrist and was now sucking blood from him.

"Oh, good," Chopper said in relief. "Luffy, stay here—no, _sit_—I'll go get you some juice and bread."

"Yay, food," Luffy said, yawning. He sat in the swivel chair while Chopper ran out to the kitchen.

"This feels so weird," Usopp whimpered.

Luffy grinned. "It feels weird in an awesome way."

"No, it's just weird."

* * *

"So what's up with the cook?" Zoro asked as Chopper ran to the fridge.

"Well, he drank some of Luffy's blood, so I'm getting Luffy juice," Chopper explained. He stared at the fridge before turning around. "Robin, can you—?"

Robin came over and opened the fridge for him. She poured out a tall glass of juice while Chopper grabbed two slices of bread.

"I'll be back with something for Usopp later," he said, running back to the infirmary. "Sanji's drinking from Usopp, too."

The others stared at him as the door shut. Robin sat back down calmly.

"He's got a weird sense of humor," Franky remarked.

"Oh, I don't know," Robin said. "He seemed perfectly serious, and it makes sense if you think about it."

"A vampire . . ." Nami murmured. "That would explain a lot."

* * *

Sanji let go of Usopp's wrist just as the sniper's eyes began to flutter. Chopper ran out to get more juice and bread as Sanji lay back down and opened his eyes.

"I thought I was gonna die," he murmured. "I thought I was . . ."

He suddenly sat up and stared at Luffy and Usopp.

"I—wait—no—" he said weakly. "No—I couldn't have—?!"

Luffy grinned. "You drank our blood! It was really cool!"

Sanji clutched his head. "Oh, god, no—no, I didn't want this to happen!"

Chopper came back with juice and bread for Usopp. Usopp took the food and began drinking and eating.

"Sanji," Chopper exclaimed. "Are you feeling okay now?"

"No!" Sanji exclaimed. "No, this is horrible—"

"He's fine," Luffy said. "Sanji, what's up?"

Sanji looked down in horror. "I'm a monster," he whispered.

"No, you're not," Usopp said, looking up from his bread.

"Only monsters like _me_ drink blood!"

"That's stupid," Luffy said. "Bats drink blood! And mosquitoes! They're not monsters, they're just trying to live!" He frowned. "Even though mosquitoes are really annoying in the summer, and you gotta squish them."

"You don't . . ."

Sanji was looking up at them.

"You don't think I'm . . . a monster?"

"Sanji," Usopp said exasperatedly, "Look at who's in the room with you."

Sanji looked at Usopp.

"Not me!" Usopp yelled. "Come on, we've got a lot of weird powers on this crew, a lot of weird noses too, and we already _literally_ have the living dead, so what's one more?"

"Sanji, we're all monsters on this crew," Luffy said, laughing. "But we like monsters!"

Sanji weakly laughed along with him. This set the other two off as well, and they all laughed for a minute before Luffy punched Sanji in the gut.

"Don't _ever_ do something stupid like that again!" Luffy yelled as Sanji doubled over. "We were all worried sick!"

Sanji nodded and gave him a thumbs-up. "I'm sorry."

Luffy grinned and stood. "Let's go tell the others. You need to apologize to them, too."

"I don't even know what day it is," Sanji admitted as he slowly got up from the bed.

"We'll worry about that later. C'mon!"

* * *

**Quick note about anon reviews: If you leave a request as anon and I decide to use it, keep in mind that I can't discuss anything about it with you first, so if I decide to tweak it, I'm going to do what I want (credit will still go to "anon" or "guest" unless you leave a name). Feel free to leave a username if you'd rather I discuss any tweaks before writing.**


	34. Deaf

**Zantetsuken Reverse requested Vampire Sanji attempting to make a victim out of a deaf person (as it was noted in chapter 25 that one must know sign language for this).**

**Non-humans: Vampire Sanji**

* * *

Sanji strolled the streets of the town, keeping a close eye out for potential blood sources. Eventually he spotted a man walking down the street.

"Hey," he called.

The man didn't turn around.

"Hey," he called, louder.

No response. The man kept walking.

Sanji scowled, quickly strode up to the man, and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"I said _hey_," he snapped. "Are you deaf?"

The man turned around at the touch on his shoulder, saw Sanji, and smiled in greeting. He stepped back and made motions with his hands.

"Oh, crap," Sanji said, startled. "You _are_ deaf—uh, sorry—"

The man shrugged as if to say it was fine. Apparently he was mute as well.

Sanji hesitated, then decided to give it a try. "Can you read my lips?" he asked slowly.

The man nodded.

"Hold still."

The man tilted his head questioningly and looked around. Apparently he was willing to follow the mysterious instructions, but wasn't completely affected by the command.

Sanji groaned. He waved his hand to get the man's attention and mouthed, "Do you have a sign language book?"

The man nodded and beckoned. Sanji followed him. After the man made it clear he was inviting Sanji into his home, Sanji followed him into a study.

The man brought down a tome and handed it to Sanji.

"Oh, geez," Sanji muttered. "Gimme a sec."

He frantically flipped through the pages and eventually found the sign for "stop."

He looked up at the man and signed it. The man froze unwillingly this time and his eyes widened in shock and fear.

"Crap," Sanji muttered to himself, keeping his gaze on the man. "What do I do for—? Oh, wait, you're mute."

He slowly set the book aside, keeping his gaze fixed on the man.

"Sorry," he said, moving forward. "I feel kinda bad about all this now, but I'm really thirsty. I won't take a lot, I promise."

He bit into the man's shoulder and drank for a good five minutes or so, not even enough to induce dizziness. He moved his head back and wiped the man's memories.

He carried the now-asleep person to his bed and left the house quickly.

He sighed. "I need a drink."


	35. Lunar Eclipse

**Alexzandeia requested WW Luffy + Zoro during a lunar eclipse, and they . . . well, you'll see. A solar eclipse was also mentioned/suggested, but that has a different effect, so I think I'll save that for another chapter.**

**Non-humans: WW Luffy, WW Zoro**

* * *

On the morning of the full moon, the crew (except for their two resident werewolves) was gathered around the table for breakfast.

As Sanji served up hash browns, Nami said, "I just remembered, there's going to be a lunar eclipse tonight."

"What time?" Robin asked, her eyes lighting up.

"I think it starts at two," Nami said slowly, trying to remember, "And ends around . . . five. I'm not sure how long the total eclipse lasts . . ."

"I'll take watch tonight," Robin volunteered quickly. She looked around. "Would anyone like to join?"

"I'll join you, Robin-_chwan_!" Sanji cried.

"Chopper-_san_ and I are staying up anyway," Brook said.

"I'll pass," Franky said.

"Sure," Usopp said. "I've never seen a lunar eclipse . . ."

Sanji scowled. "Damn long-nose, ruining the romantic mood," he muttered under his breath.

Chopper looked around. "Um, what's a lunar eclipse?"

"Well, the world orbits the sun," Robin explained. "And the moon orbits the world. The moon has phases like crescents and new moons because of the shadow cast by the planet. Sometimes, if the conditions are right, the moon, world, and sun line up just right for the planet to cast a special shadow on the moon. First the moon becomes dim, and then for a period of time it becomes blood-red. After that it becomes dim again and then bright when the eclipse is over."

"Oh," Chopper said in understanding. "Wow, that sounds awesome!"

Robin nodded. "When people first saw lunar eclipses, they thought it was an omen of bad things. Imagine if you didn't know about things like that, and that bright white moon in the sky suddenly turned blood-red one night . . ."

Chopper nodded with sparkling eyes. "I'm glad I get to see it, then!"

"Oh, and a solar eclipse is almost the same thing," Robin continued, smiling. "It always happens during the new moon after a lunar eclipse. The moon passes between our planet and our sun, and it blocks out the sunlight like a big black disk in the sky."

Chopper's eyes grew even rounder and sparkly with wonder.

"You're going to overexcite him," Usopp scolded teasingly.

"I've never seen an eclipse in person," Robin sighed. "I've only read about them . . ."

Nami cleared her throat. "Robin, Sanji, Usopp, I'll join you guys tonight."

"Yes!" Sanji exclaimed happily.

"Alright," Usopp exclaimed.

Sanji scowled at Usopp again.

* * *

"A what ellipse?" Luffy asked. He and Zoro had just gotten out onto deck. As usual, they were suffering from headaches, stomachaches, a fever-like temperature, and prickling skin.

Brook explained the phenomena quickly in layman's terms as Robin, Nami, Sanji, and Usopp climbed up to the observation deck.

"Oh, so the moon's gonna be red," Luffy said in understanding. He yawned and grinned. "Neato."

"Whatever," Zoro muttered. "Luffy, c'mon."

Chopper and Brook, as always, went behind the mast out of politeness as the werewolves quickly stripped.

When they heard the clicking of nails on the deck, they came around and met up with their friends.

_Hi_, Luffy exclaimed, trotting in circles. _Are we playing fetch?_

"Do we have a stick?" Brook asked Chopper. "I think we forgot to get a stick."

Zoro growled in disappointment.

"Maybe you could detach one of your arms?" Chopper suggested.

Brook's jaw fell open in utter shock. "Chopper-_san_!" he exclaimed indignantly. "Why—that's ludicrous!"

"But you could attach it right back, right?" Chopper asked innocently.

Brook straightened up in a dignified way. "It doesn't matter who it is, I do not want _anyone_ to chew on these bones of mine! Apologies to Luffy-_san_ and Zoro-_san_, but I'd rather not have teeth marks all over my radius and ulna!"

Chopper raised his hooves. "Okay, okay, I see your point."

Up in the crow's nest, Nami shouted something and a _bonk_ was heard, as if something had been thrown at someone's head. Luffy and Zoro looked up and growled.

"Try to keep it down, you four!" Brook called up.

* * *

In the wee hours, just as Nami had said earlier, a shadow began creeping across the moon.

"Wow," Chopper whispered, watching the dark curve move slowly across the face.

"I haven't seen one of these in many years," Brook murmured, staring up at the sky with Chopper and the werewolves. "But then again, it's hard to see _anything_ with no eyes . . ."

Zoro and Luffy suddenly started to whine in distress.

"Guys?" Chopper asked in alarm, looking at them. "What's wrong?"

_Something's—happening—_ Luffy growled, wincing.

_Head hurts—_ Zoro growled.

They whined for a moment more before collapsing onto the deck. Chopper checked them over, but it seemed they were only unconscious.

They stirred and Chopper jumped back as they stood. The werewolves looked around in surprise.

_Chopper?_ Luffy said. _What's going on?_

"What do you mean?" Chopper asked confusedly. "You guys collapsed a minute ago."

_No, why are we like this?_ Zoro demanded, turning around in a circle.

"Like . . . what?" Chopper asked.

_Why do we know what's going on and stuff?_ Luffy attempted to clarify.

"Er . . . Chopper-_san_, is everything okay?" Brook asked.

Chopper shrugged. "They're asking why they're like this and what's going on."

_Oh, yeah, I guess Brook can't understand us,_ Luffy sighed.

"No, he—what are you two talking about?" Chopper asked, frustrated.

_We're lucid,_ Zoro said. _We have our human minds right now._

"What—really?!" Chopper squeaked in surprise.

Luffy nodded. _This is really weird. Is it because of the lunatic eclipse?_

"Lunar," Chopper reminded him. "Maybe?"

He turned to Brook and explained what was happening.

"Oh, my, this is unprecedented," Brook remarked.

_Oh! The others are up there, right?_ Luffy asked, circling himself excitedly with a wagging tail. _Can we see them?_

Just as he said this, an arm appeared from Brook's torso. He shrieked in surprise.

Robin's arm bore an ear, an eye, and a mouth. As they stared at it, it swiveled around and looked at them all.

"Sanji wanted to get into the kitchen and get food and drink," the mouth said, speaking jerkily (Robin was apparently not used to communicating like this). "Is there any way to do this?"

"Yeah, actually . . ." Chopper explained the situation.

The limb, with its accessories, vanished suddenly. In the next moment, Robin herself floated down from the crow's nest, carried by a chain of hands.

"Good morning," she said. She looked at Luffy and Zoro, who made no move to attack and were instead looking at her like a friend. She smiled. "You two really are lucid?"

Luffy let out a happy bark and ran up to Robin. She let him sniff her hand before she started petting his head. He pushed into her hand happily while Zoro sat stiffly off to the side.

"Is it safe?" Usopp called from the crow's nest in a whisper-yell.

"Come on down," Robin said. Behind her, a ladder of arms appeared, and Usopp, Sanji, and Nami used them to climb down.

"Are you _sure_ they won't attack?" Nami asked nervously.

_If you don't want to be here, go back up,_ Zoro growled irritably. Chopper translated.

_Usopp,_ Luffy exclaimed, bounding over to his friend. Usopp nervously let Luffy sniff his hand and, when he flopped onto the deck, started giving him a belly-rub. Luffy's tail thumped happily on the deck.

"You guys are pretty cute as wolves," Usopp said, grinning.

Zoro growled faintly.

"Oh, don't be like that, moss-head wolf-boy," Sanji muttered. Zoro's ears went back and he growled louder at Sanji, who backed up a step automatically.

"Right, I'll get us some snacks," Sanji said. He hurried into the kitchen.

"Is this caused by the eclipse?" Robin wondered aloud, looking up at the blood-red moon.

"Must be," Nami said, petting Zoro gently as he sat stoically and pretended to ignore it. "I wonder what would happen during a solar eclipse?"

"Hopefully nothing," Usopp said as he hugged Luffy around the neck. "Solar eclipses happen during the new moon, right?"

"Right," Robin said. "Still . . ."

Sanji pushed open the door with snacks—hot cocoa and sandwiches for himself, Brook, Nami, Robin, Usopp, and Chopper; and two platters of nearly raw meat for the werewolves.

Everyone perked up at the sight of the food.

"Dig in," Sanji said.

* * *

The eight of them stayed out on deck for the entirety of the eclipse. Just before the dark shadow on the moon vanished completely, Luffy and Zoro whined and winced and collapsed again.

"Aah!" Chopper yelled. "Guys, clear out! They must be going back to wolves!"

The other four scattered to their rooms. A moment later Luffy and Zoro rose again.

_What happened?_ Zoro growled. He sniffed the air and snarled. _Why do I smell humans?_

Chopper sighed in disappointment as Luffy growled too. "You guys were unconscious for a bit. Some humans came by while you were out."

Luffy growled angrily.

* * *

"You guys got to party with Strawhat and Bro Zoro when they were wolves and you didn't wake me up?!"

"You were sleeping," Sanji said, yawning.

Franky groaned. "I coulda _made_ that party, man!"

"We had a good enough time on our own," Nami muttered.

Franky slumped in his chair. "I'm just not feeling it this week . . ."


	36. Massacre

**Wow, this one ended up being a bit dark, sorry about that. Alexzandeia requested WW Luffy + Zoro captured by Marines and transforming, and MetaWolf56 requested the part with other dogs in the beginning.**

**Non-humans: WW Luffy, WW Zoro**

* * *

". . . So then I named her Linguini," Luffy continued as he and Zoro strolled down the street, their tails tucked carefully into their pants.

Zoro scowled. "Will you stop naming random cats after noodles?"

"Never," Luffy declared, running ahead. Zoro chased after him and found him squatting next to a couple of stray dogs.

"They're friendly," Luffy said happily as he and the dog sniffed each other. The other dog came up to Zoro, who knelt. They sniffed each other and glared.

"Zoro, don't be mean to them," Luffy scolded, petting his new friend.

"Mean to—he glared at me first," Zoro protested.

Luffy laughed. "I bet he didn't."

After a minute they went on their way, leaving the dogs to their own devices.

"What's the next cat's name gonna be?" Zoro asked. "Spaghetti?"

Luffy nodded. He looked ahead of them and spotted a sign pointing down a narrow alley.

"'Pirates this way, free food,'" he read aloud. His eyes lit up. "Zoro, free food!"

Zoro groaned. "Luffy, don't go that way. I've got a bad feeling about this."

Luffy read the bottom of the sign. "'And free booze.'"

* * *

"So . . ."

Zoro's eye twitched. "How dumb do you think two people have to be to fall for almost exactly the same trick twice?"

Luffy looked at him curiously. "Who?"

"US!"

Zoro and Luffy had run down the alleyway. They'd hit a dead-end and a trapdoor had opened beneath their feet, causing them to drop suddenly down a long tube and land hard in a jail cell. It looked like they were in a Marine base of some kind, though above ground they'd seen no sign of the Navy.

Luffy experimentally grabbed the bars and promptly slumped. "Seastone," he mumbled.

Zoro rolled his eyes. "Shouldn't we just expect that by now?"

Footsteps alerted them to the presence of two people. Luffy backed away from the bars and he and Zoro got into defensive stances.

Two Marines passed by the cage, stopped, and looked inside.

"Holy cow, it worked!" the one on the left with long black hair said.

"I didn't think any pirate would be stupid enough to fall for that," the one on the right with a bob of blonde hair said.

Luffy and Zoro growled. The Marines stepped back in surprise.

"Wait . . ." the black-haired one said. Leaning in, there was a sudden exclamation of, "No way! Strawhat Luffy and Pirate Hunter Zoro?!"

"What about it?" Luffy snarled.

"This is huge," the blonde Marine exclaimed. "We need to have these two shipped to Enies Lobby!"

"No, thanks," Zoro growled. "We've already been there. Gotta say, it wasn't a great vacation place. A bit too flammable, y'know?"

"Watch that tongue," the brunette snapped. The two Marines hurried off somewhere.

* * *

Luffy and Zoro were informed that they would be taken to Enies Lobby in three days. They were also told, completely unnecessarily, by bragging Marines that this was the _only_ completely underground Marine base, and that hardly _any_ of even the townspeople knew, so they should give up the idea of rescue _right now_.

Luffy, of course, could not bend or slip between the bars, and Zoro was not yet capable of cutting something like Seastone. It seemed unlikely they would be found by their friends.

"Ah," Luffy said. "Zoro, this might be bad."

"Hm?" Zoro muttered.

"Tomorrow's the full moon, isn't it?"

". . . Oh, shit."

* * *

"Where _are_ they?" Usopp asked, looking around the kitchen as everyone seated themselves for dinner.

"The wolf-boys?" Sanji asked. "I whistled earlier, but they didn't come."

"They weren't captured, were they?" Robin murmured.

"Nah, can't have been," Nami said dismissively. "I haven't seen a single soldier around here, much less a base."

"Still, they could be in trouble," Franky pointed out.

"They can handle themselves," Sanji said as he served up dinner. "I'm sure they'll be back soon. I'll just put something aside for them."

"I hope they're okay," Chopper sighed.

* * *

Luffy and Zoro awoke to fever-like symptoms in the jail cell the next morning. They tried to sleep and growled at any Marine who came by.

Finally, night fell. Luffy and Zoro resignedly removed their clothes and placed them aside.

"It'll be okay, right?" Luffy murmured as they sat and waited for the inevitable. "The cell's locked."

"Yeah," Zoro said softly. He growled faintly. "But I wouldn't mind tearing into some of those Marines."

Luffy frowned but did not respond.

They began to transform.

* * *

In the darkened base, a lone Marine came down the stairs to the lower cells. He had always felt just the tiniest bit sorry for the pirates who were captured and destined to be executed, and so tried to treat them nicely in their final days. In this occasion, he'd noticed that neither of the captured Strawhats were being given food, so he was bringing down two small plates with small crackers on them.

As he cautiously approached the locked cell door, he heard a faint growling. He convinced himself he was imagining things—after all, they hadn't captured a _dog_—and continued on his way.

He finally stopped in front of the cell and slowly unlocked the door. Two dark shapes awaited him.

"Hello," he whispered. "I brought you two some—"

He was promptly bowled over by the combined weight of the two werewolves. He yelled in shock and dropped the plates on the floor, where they shattered into a thousand pieces.

_HUMAN!_

Luffy and Zoro tore into the man's flesh like papier-mâché. The Marine screamed in horror and pain and soon fainted. The werewolves ripped apart his body, having their fill of human meat.

By the time they had finished, the Marine was dead.

_This way,_ Luffy snarled to Zoro, their pelts flecked with blood, their muzzles covered with the stuff.

As they darted down the hall towards the stairs, they met with two Marines, the same ones who had first seen them in the jail cell the previous day.

"How did wolves get in here?" the blonde one asked confusedly.

Luffy and Zoro sprang. The Marines jumped aside, aimed, and shot. Seastone bullets grazed the werewolves and one embedded itself in Luffy's shoulder. Luffy howled in pain and stumbled to the brunette Marine, who easily got out of the way and kicked Luffy. Zoro growled fiercely and leapt at the brunette, tearing into the flesh over the heart. In minutes, the Marine was dead.

The blonde one, gasping in panic and fear, stumbled into a standing position and ran back up the stairs, closely followed by Zoro and the limping Luffy.

"Wolves!" the blonde Marine yelled, bursting into the lit main room. "Wolves in the base!"

"Take care of them," another Marine muttered, not looking up from her book.

"W-We tried! They k-killed—"

The blonde was bowled over with a sudden yell as Luffy and Zoro sprang from behind. The other Marines finally looked up in alarm when Luffy bit into the back of the blonde's neck. The blonde went limp.

Zoro and Luffy looked up and growled ferociously.

"Fire at will!" the woman from before yelled, slamming her book shut and standing.

The Marines drew their weapons. Some shot and some slashed. Gashes and bullet grazes appeared in the werewolves' fur. They snarled and sprang for the Marines.

* * *

Luffy and Zoro woke and sat up slowly to find themselves surrounded by pools of blood and bodies. The memories from the previous night violently came back to them and they flinched.

Their faces and bodies were still caked with blood, some of it their own, most of it from the Marines they had killed or maimed. Luffy still had a bullet in his shoulder, and Zoro one in his leg.

Without a word Zoro slowly stood and limped down the stairs while Luffy rested. They didn't have to worry about guards anymore, since all of them were in those pools of blood.

Downstairs, Zoro slowly went to their cell, stepping over the first victim, whose face he would never know; for it was mangled beyond recognition.

He returned upstairs with their clothes. Shakily and silently, they got dressed and walked out of the base, going up some stairs and through a trapdoor in the street.

The sun was just over the horizon. They walked back to the ship.

Finally Luffy broke the silence.

"What are we gonna tell them?"

Zoro sighed. "I don't know."

"I feel sick."

"Yeah."

They fell silent again.

By the time they reached the ship, the others had started on breakfast.

". . . Chopper, Brook, can you look for them after breakfast—?" Usopp stopped talking as the door opened. He and the others gasped.

"Luffy! Zoro!" Nami exclaimed, eyes wide with horror. "What happened?!"

They ignored her and turned to Chopper.

"Can . . . you help?" Luffy asked softly. "Zoro and me . . . well . . ." he brushed a hand against his shoulder and winced.

"There's a bullet in his shoulder and one in my leg," Zoro said stiffly.

"Where did all that blood come from?" Usopp whispered.

Luffy and Zoro didn't respond.

"Right, of course," Chopper said. He jumped down from his chair. "Guys, come on."

They slowly followed Chopper to his office. The others stared after them in utter shock right up until the door closed.

"You don't think . . . they . . ." Franky said blankly.

* * *

"Your wounds shouldn't have caused this much blood."

Chopper was staring at his patients. He had, as usual, fussed and overreacted while he cleaned Luffy and Zoro up and removed the bullets, the two oddly quiet and cooperative. But the second he deemed them on the road to a speedy recovery, he had begun the questioning.

"What happened?"

Luffy and Zoro looked down.

"Can . . . we tell everyone . . . later?" Luffy asked quietly. "I still feel really sick . . ."

Chopper's expression softened. "Yeah, of course. You guys should go sleep."

"Tell the cook we'll skip lunch," Zoro mumbled. He and Luffy staggered to their feet and limped out the door, heading for the men's quarters. Chopper stared after them worriedly and then went to finish his breakfast.

* * *

The crew, gathered in the men's room around Luffy and Zoro, stared in silent shock. You could hear a pin drop.

"Were there any survivors?" Robin asked softly.

Luffy and Zoro shrugged.

"Guys . . ."

Luffy looked surprised when Usopp suddenly hugged him.

"Guys, it's okay," he said, his voice wavering. "None of it was your fault, y'know? We know y-you're not in control when you transform . . ."

Luffy nodded slowly. "I know . . . but I still . . ."

"It's okay," Nami said quietly. "You'll forgive yourselves."

Zoro sighed. Chopper jumped into his lap and hugged him tightly.

Soon enough the others joined in for a big group hug. Finally, Luffy and Zoro hugged them back.

"I'm still tired," Luffy said quietly once the hug had broken up. "I'm gonna sleep a bit more." Despite this, he looked a bit better, and his eyes were brighter.

"Yeah," Zoro muttered, scratching the back of his neck.

The others agreed to give them more rest and went out of the room.

"Zoro . . ."

"Mm?"

"My stomach still hurts."

"Go talk to Chopper later."

"Okay."


	37. Cat Zoro

**Anon requested Vampire Zoro turning into a cat. Quick recap: Vampires can shapeshift into a bat, toad, or cat. **

**Wow, we're fast approaching 50 chapters, and I think I have enough on the list to fill that up!**

**Non-humans: Vampire Zoro, Vampire Sanji**

* * *

_Meow_

Luffy and Usopp looked up and glanced at each other.

"Did you just hear a cat?" Luffy asked.

Usopp nodded. "When did a cat get on the ship?"

Sanji came outside. The sun was just below the horizon, leaving just enough light to see by. "Alright, you two, where's the cat?"

They held up their hands. "We didn't do anything!" Luffy protested. "We were wondering where the cat was too!"

_Meow_

The three looked around. Sanji narrowed his eyes. "It came from our bedroom . . ."

Luffy jumped up and ran into the men's quarters. A minute later he came out, cuddling a short-haired green-furred cat.

"He was hiding under a bed," Luffy said happily. "I'm gonna call him Spaghetti."

The cat hissed in annoyance and his tail flicked.

Usopp burst out laughing. "Wow, his fur looks just like Zoro's hair."

Sanji narrowed his eyes and looked the cat straight in his gray eyes. The cat hissed and swiped at Sanji.

"That _is_ him," Sanji said. "Look, he's got the same scars and earrings."

Luffy and Usopp looked at the cat.

"Oh," Luffy said.

"Huh," Usopp said.

The cat growled.

Luffy and Usopp burst out laughing.

"Zoro, why'd you turn into a cat?" Luffy said happily.

Zoro meowed loudly. Sanji sighed and yelled, "CHOPPER!"

Chopper came running. "Is someone hurt?!"

"No, no—can you translate what this idiot is saying?" Sanji said, gesturing to Zoro, who glared at Sanji and hissed.

Chopper looked at Zoro and blinked in surprise. "Is that . . ."

"Yeah," Usopp said. "What's he saying?"

Chopper listened to Zoro meowing impatiently and translated: "'I had a dream I was a cat and woke up like this. I don't know how to change back.'"

"Are you that stupid?" Sanji demanded.

"What?" Chopper whimpered.

"Not you, sorry—moss-head, just picture yourself in your usual stupid form and concentrate."

Zoro went silent. A moment later there was a puff of smoke and he appeared again in human form. Luffy fell over with the sudden weight and they both got up, Zoro's face as red as a ripe tomato.

Sanji and Usopp snickered.

"Not a word," Zoro snapped. "Luffy, why did you have to carry me like that?"

"Because cats are really cute and I like holding them," Luffy said promptly.

"He called you cute," Sanji snickered.

"The great demon Roronoa Zoro, a cute little kitty," Usopp laughed.

Zoro glared at them both and stormed back to the men's quarters, calling over his shoulder, "Luffy, you owe me some blood."

"Right, Usopp, I'll need to see you tonight as well," Sanji added.

Usopp immediately stopped laughing.


	38. Werewolf Usopp

**Ashlielle requested WW Usopp :3**

**Non-humans: WW Luffy, WW Zoro, WW Usopp**

* * *

Usopp ran from the liger-bear, the creature in hot pursuit. He burst out onto a cliff and, too late, spotted Luffy standing on the edge, looking down into the ravine, his tail flicking.

"LUFFY!"

Luffy turned around as Usopp crashed into him, driving both of them off the cliff in a tangle of limbs. Somehow Usopp's nose ended up in Luffy's mouth and Luffy's knee went into Usopp's stomach. Usopp screamed all the way down.

The liger-bear screeched to a halt and looked down at the falling pirates. A single tear slid down its cheek.

The trees were tall and thick in this area of the island and they quickly fell through the tops. Luffy grabbed Usopp and tried to protect him as they fell.

Nevertheless, by the time they landed (Usopp safely bouncing off Luffy's inflated stomach), both were covered in oozing scratches and bruises.

"Wow, that was fun," Luffy exclaimed happily. "Hey, Usopp, you okay?"

He glanced over and saw that Usopp had fainted.

"Huh, guess he got tired," he remarked. "Usopp, wake up."

Usopp didn't stir for a few seconds. Then he slowly got up, shook his head, turned away, and vomited into the grass.

"Are you sick?" Luffy asked curiously.

"Ugh," Usopp mumbled, coughing. "That was . . . scary . . . I must've fainted from the shock . . ."

"What'd you do to piss off that liger-bear?" Luffy asked, jumping to his feet and offering Usopp a helping hand.

"It wanted to fight, and I tried to fight back, but then it actually started fighting and it was huge and I got scared and ran." Usopp said this all very quickly as he got up with Luffy's help. He rubbed his nose and arms. "I got scratches all over . . ."

"Yeah, me too," Luffy said cheerfully. "But it's nothing to worry about."

* * *

"Falling off of a cliff is _so_ a thing to worry about!" Chopper yelled when they got back to the ship. "You're lucky you didn't die!"

"I'm made of rubber," Luffy pointed out.

"I was talking about Usopp!"

"I was a bit distracted by the prospect of imminent death at my heels!" Usopp exclaimed.

"Maybe you should pay attention to the prospect of imminent death in front of you, too! Come on, you two, I need to make sure those scratches don't get infected!"

Chopper dragged them to his office.

* * *

On the morning of the full moon, Usopp awoke with fever-like symptoms. While Luffy and Zoro stayed in bed, he tried to drag himself to the kitchen for breakfast. He collapsed into his chair and laid his head on the table.

"Uh . . . you don't look so super, bro," Franky remarked. "You feelin' okay?"

"I'm tired," Usopp mumbled.

Chopper came around to check on him. He felt his forehead. "You seem a bit feverish," he said worriedly. "Come to my office after breakfast—can you handle breakfast?"

Usopp thought, then slowly shook his head. Chopper helped him walk to the infirmary, where he was ordered to rest for a while.

* * *

Night fell. Chopper brought Usopp back to the men's quarters and told him he would check on him in the morning. Usopp fell into bed and nodded sleepily. Chopper quietly went back outside with Brook, Luffy, and Zoro and waited for the werewolves to transform.

Usopp was trembling violently in his bed, so much that it woke up Sanji and Franky.

"Hey, if you're that sick, maybe you should go back to the infirmary," Sanji muttered, yawning.

Usopp sat up, his feverish temperature having reached a new high, and stripped off his overalls and boots to combat the heat, leaving him shaking in his boxers. His skin was prickling uncomfortably all over.

"Want me to get the doc?" Franky offered.

"I-I can handle it," Usopp stuttered. "I—"

Suddenly he cried out as terrible pain wracked his frame.

"Usopp?" Sanji said, alarmed. "You hurt?"

"Whoa," Franky muttered in surprise as thick black hair began sprouting over Usopp's body. His head lengthened and his body shifted, sprouting a tail near his legs. Sanji and Franky quickly got up and backed away.

Finally the wolf straightened up and jumped off of the bed. His hair was black, thick, and very wavy. His eyes were yellow and he had an unusually long snout.

"Uh," Franky mumbled as Usopp, now the wolf, turned to them and growled. "Since when was he . . . ?"

"I dunno, but we can't exactly go outside right now," Sanji muttered. "Let's figure out something else."

Usopp charged towards them with a sharp, high-pitched bark. They jumped out of the way and scrambled to the top of the lockers. Usopp skittered around and tried to leap up to where they were to no avail. He settled for pacing around, glaring up at them and growling.

"We could try to knock him out," Sanji suggested.

"Or we could get the deer-gorilla or skeleton to open the door," Franky pointed out.

"Yeah, but if they open the door, there's a good chance the wolf-boys are gonna get in, and then we'll have a bigger problem on our hands," Sanji said, exasperated.

"What're we gonna knock him out with?" Franky asked, eying Usopp nervously.

* * *

_CRASH_

Chopper, Brook, Luffy, and Zoro looked up sharply as the crash and yelp came from the men's room. Luffy and Zoro growled suspiciously.

"Everything okay in there?" Chopper called as quietly as possible.

"Everything's fine, we've got it under control!" Sanji called. "Don't open the door! Franky, gimme another—"

_CRASH_

Chopper and Brook shrugged and returned to playing with Luffy and Zoro.

* * *

"Come on, I can get him this time," Sanji said, impatiently holding out his hand to Franky. He had missed with the first bottle of cola and broken the second against Usopp's back. So far this had only succeeded in scaring the werewolf, who was trembling and looking up at them defiantly.

"Bro, if I give you another, I might fall off this thing and straight into his mouth," Franky said. "I kind of need cola to survive!"

"Then what else are we gonna do?" Sanji demanded, moving his hands away from the edge as Usopp snapped at them.

"I got this," Franky said. He aimed his fist at Usopp's head and cried, "STRONG RIGHT!"

His fist fired out suddenly and conked Usopp on the head, knocking him out.

They slowly climbed down and Franky retracted his hand.

"What do we do now?" Franky muttered, nudging Usopp with his foot.

Sanji glanced around the room. "Do we have any rope?"

Franky shrugged. "Sis has some, but we can't go outside."

Sanji's eyes settled on the sunken table. "We could slide him under there. He shouldn't be able to get out if he wakes up before he turns back."

They pushed Usopp across the floor and dropped him underneath the table, successfully trapping him.

"Think we should stay up and keep an eye on him?" Franky asked.

"Yeah, we'll take shifts," Sanji said, yawning. "I'll go first."

Franky raised a hand in response and headed back to bed.

* * *

Usopp awoke during the night, but just as Sanji had predicted, he was unable to escape his prison, no matter how much he whined and scrabbled.

As the sun began to rise, Franky got Sanji up and they waited while Usopp whined loudly. They couldn't see him under the table, but he must have been turning back.

A couple minutes later, Usopp's head poked out from underneath. He looked confused, scared, and ashamed.

"Guys . . ." he mumbled, trembling.

"Right, here," Sanji said, tossing Usopp's overalls, boxers (they had slid off in wolf form), and boots at him. He and Franky turned away while Usopp crawled out and put on his clothes.

They turned back around to find Usopp sitting on the ground, his tail tucked into his overalls, for there was no hole to stick it through. His eyes were yellow.

"I-I'm sorry," he said, sounding like he was choking back tears. "I-I didn't—I would never—"

"It's fine, Bro," Franky said reassuringly, clapping a large hand on Usopp's shoulder. "We've seen Strawhat and Bro Zoro get that way. It ain't your fault."

Usopp nodded, still looking like he was going to cry. "I-I don't get it . . . when was I bitten?"

"Let's worry about that later," Sanji said as Luffy and Zoro staggered in, exhausted from last night. "Get some sleep with these morons and then we'll have lunch."

"The hell were you three up to last night?" Zoro mumbled, yawning. "Having a party? I heard breaking glass."

"Oh yeah, I need a cola refill," Franky said.

Luffy looked around and sniffed. He squatted next to Usopp, peered at his eyes, and sniffed him closely. Usopp flinched.

"Usopp?" Luffy said curiously as Zoro bent to sniff their long-nosed friend as well.

"Leave him alone, he's had a long night," Sanji said. "You three get some sleep. We'll talk at lunch."

Sanji and Franky left. Usopp stared at Zoro curiously.

"What?"

Usopp flinched again. "Well . . . your hair looks weird," he mumbled.

Luffy's eyes lit up. "You _are_ a werewolf!"

Usopp's face screwed up again and he brought his knees up to his chest.

"Wait . . . did something happen?" Luffy asked, the smile dropping off his face.

"I tried to attack Sanji and Franky," Usopp mumbled through his knees.

"Clearly they're fine, so don't worry about it," Zoro snapped. "Come on, we're all tired."

Usopp slowly got up and went to bed along with Luffy and Zoro.

* * *

Zoro helped cut a hole in Usopp's overalls for his tail. Luffy had fun touching it before Usopp snapped at him—the fur on it was just like Usopp's hair, thick, black, and loosely curled.

"Are my eyes yellow?" Usopp asked, checking a mirror and frowning.

"I think so," Luffy said. "You should ask one of the others, though."

They went to the kitchen. Naturally, everyone stared in surprise at Usopp's tail, despite the fact that Sanji and Franky had explained the situation earlier.

"Sorry for the ruckus last night," Usopp said quietly as he sat down. He brightened a bit when he saw that Sanji had added rare meat to his serving.

"Um . . . it's fine," Nami said, leaning over to get a better look at his tail. "So, when did . . . ?"

"I dunno," Usopp sighed, poking at his food before hesitantly trying some of the meat. He licked his lips and said, "What happens when you're bit again?"

"You faint and then puke," Luffy said, shoveling in his food.

Usopp thought back and gasped. He pointed at Luffy.

"What?" Luffy asked.

"You bit my nose!"

"Huh?"

"When we fell off the cliff!"

"Oh!" Luffy exclaimed. "Oh, I guess I must've, huh? Wow, weird that neither of us noticed!"

He went back to eating, Usopp and the others staring at him incredulously.

"Aren't you going to apologize?!" Usopp cried. "I didn't know! S-Sanji and Franky—they could've been hurt—"

"We wouldn't let you hurt us," Sanji muttered from the counter.

"Sorry," Luffy said to Usopp, bowing his head briefly. He went right back to eating.

Usopp sighed and slumped on the table. "This sucks . . ."

"I'm sure it's not all bad," Robin said as a hand sprouted near Usopp's head and started scratching his ear. He sighed and closed his eyes.


	39. Anise

**Anon and dragoscilvio requested a catnip equivalent for canines with Zoro and Sanji.**

**Non-humans: WW Zoro, WW Sanji**

* * *

"What are we looking for again?" Zoro muttered.

Usopp sighed. "Sanji wanted us to help him look for herbs and stuff," he said patiently. "I had to come with you and Luffy had to go with Sanji because you both need a partner."

Zoro's tail flicked. "Right. What kind of herbs?"

Usopp shrugged. "I dunno. I'll let you know if I see something that's probably useful."

Zoro grunted in understanding. They continued walking.

Soon they came upon a large patch of green compound leaves. Usopp stopped, bent, and sniffed them.

"I dunno what this stuff is," he muttered. "Maybe Sanji doesn't need it."

Zoro bent to sniff it as well. "Yeah, I dunno . . . what . . ."

He trailed off and sniffed the stuff again.

"Anyway, let's keep going," Usopp said, standing. He walked several paces before he realized that Zoro wasn't behind him.

"Zoro?" he called. Receiving no response, he backtracked to the patch of the mystery herb and found Zoro rolling around in it.

He was speechless with surprise. Zoro had an oddly happy smile on his face, and didn't seem to notice Usopp.

"Um . . ."

Usopp squatted next to Zoro and patted his head. "Zoro. Hey. Did you go crazy? Zoro."

"This stuff smells so goooood," Zoro sighed, giggling.

Usopp scooted backwards.

"LUFFY! SANJI!"

* * *

Luffy and Sanji stopped as they heard a voice from far off.

"Was that Usopp?" Luffy said curiously. "I think that was Usopp."

"Yeah," Sanji said. He sniffed around. "He must be downwind of us."

They followed the direction of the wind for a while before they finally found Usopp and Zoro. By this point, Zoro had stopped rolling around and was now lying flat on his back, eyes half-open and grinning dopily.

"Zoro went crazy," Usopp said by way of explanation. "He started rolling around in this stuff, and now he's like this."

Zoro giggled to himself as Usopp spoke.

"Mystery plant?" Luffy said. "Mystery plant. It's a mystery plant."

"Gimme a sec, I'll try to find out what it is," Sanji said, bending down to sniff the leaves.

* * *

"So . . . it must be a werewolf thing."

For about ten minutes, Sanji had rolled around in the plant just like Zoro had, and he was now snuggling against Usopp's leg while grinning.

Usopp sighed and scratched Sanji behind his ear. The cook closed his eyes in bliss as Luffy poked Zoro, receiving a dopy smile from the swordsman.

"Think we should get them out of this stuff?" Luffy asked seriously.

"Yeah," Usopp muttered. "Sanji, get up—"

Luffy threw Zoro over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, the swordsman remaining limp and apparently happy. Usopp grabbed Sanji's arm and slung it over his shoulder, hoisting the cook into a standing position with shaking legs. He dragged Sanji like this while Luffy carried Zoro over his shoulder.

"You're . . . warm," Zoro mumbled as Luffy carried him.

"Okay."

"I'm pretty heavy . . . but you're carrying me . . . you must be _really_ strong," he said, putting emphasis on really.

Luffy laughed. "Of course I am!"

"Sanji, help me out here, don't make me do all the work," Usopp complained, shifting Sanji's weight again.

The cook giggled. "No . . . you do the work . . ."

He let himself become dead weight in Usopp's grasp, making the sniper stumble and gasp.

"Sanji!" he exclaimed indignantly. He decided to switch tactics and went for carrying Sanji bridal-style instead. Sanji clasped his arms around Usopp's neck like a baby koala and snuggled into his shoulder.

Usopp sighed exasperatedly. "Geez, you're cuddly when you're like this."

"Mm," Sanji mumbled.

They finally made it back to the ship and got hit with interrogation once Nami and Chopper saw the state their swordsman and cook were in.

"I'll ask Sanji about it when he feels up to it," Chopper said, glancing at Sanji as Usopp dropped him unceremoniously to the deck and pushed him up against the railing. "They don't seem like they're in any danger."

"Nope," Luffy agreed as he dropped Zoro on his head.

"Except when you do _that_! Luffy, be careful!"

"His head's made of stone," Nami pointed out as Zoro fell over.

Chopper sighed.

* * *

It took about an hour for Zoro and Sanji to snap out of their haze. They were coming around just as Chopper came by to check on them.

"Guys?" Chopper said hesitantly, having tried greeting them before to no avail.

"God_damn_, my head hurts," Zoro muttered, rubbing his temples. "What was in that stuff?"

"Do you feel okay?" Chopper asked, looking between them.

"Well, other than my head, I'm just fine," Zoro snapped. "Cook, what was that stuff?"

"Anise," Sanji muttered, closing his eyes. "I dunno why we'd get drunk off of that. It's not exactly potent."

"Well, it was just you two, so it must be a werewolf thing," Chopper concluded.

Sanji groaned. "Please tell me I didn't really get all cuddly with Usopp."

Chopper looked away.

"That was embarrassing," Zoro muttered. He stood and staggered to the men's quarters. "I need sleep."

"I need to plan dinner," Sanji said, standing. "Not that we got a whole lot done today."

"Let me know if you have any other symptoms!" Chopper called after him.

Sanji rolled his eyes and waved in response. "Sure."

* * *

"'You must be _really_ strong,'" Luffy said in an imitation of Zoro's deep voice. He had pushed his hair back and donned a sleepy expression. The others cracked up, though Zoro scowled and flushed.

"Shut up," he muttered.

"Oh, my turn—" Usopp exclaimed. He cleared his throat and said in a rough imitation of Sanji's voice, "'No, _you_ do the work!'" He then pretended to go limp and acted like he was snuggling into someone's shoulder. The others howled with laughter.

"Usopp," Sanji said threateningly, slamming the sniper's plate down. "Keep that up and I'll bite you and throw you in a patch of that stuff."

* * *

**Several websites say that anise is like catnip for dogs. I'm not sure how accurate this information is, but hey, this is fiction.**

**Alternate chapter title: "Zoro and Sanji Get High"**


	40. Bullets

**dragoscilvio requested WW Zoro and Sanji vs an exorcist and Zoro getting hurt. (I'm sorry, this probably wasn't what you had in mind)**

**Non-humans: WW Zoro, WW Sanji**

* * *

"And do you _ever_ comb your hair?" Sanji sneered, he and Zoro glaring at each other. "That thing's a mess!"

Zoro bared his teeth. "No one's making you look at it, shit-cook!"

Usopp brought out a bag of popcorn. He and Luffy shared it while sitting cross-legged, watching as the fight went on.

"It's so ugly I can't _help_ but look at it!" Sanji snapped, baring his teeth as well. "Such a stupid shade of purple—damn pansy, that's what it is!"

"Excuse me?!"

"You heard me!"

They prepared their fighting stances, tails stiff with aggression. Luffy and Usopp leaned in eagerly, stuffing their faces with popcorn, when—

"GET DOWN!"

"Wha—?"

Zoro shoved Sanji aside, inadvertently moving himself into the path of the oncoming bullet. It struck his shoulder and buried itself inside, bringing out a strangled yell of pain from Zoro.

"What the hell just happened?!" Usopp screamed as Luffy stood, looking around, the popcorn forgotten. "Where did that—? Who—?!"

"Hey, get up," Sanji muttered to Zoro. He glanced at his shoulder and narrowed his eyes. Kneeling, he yanked back the swordsman's shirt to find blood pouring from the wound and the skin turning dark.

"Shit, it was a silver bullet," he hissed. "CHOPPER!"

Chopper came running out. He saw Zoro and screamed.

"He got hit—silver bullet," Sanji said shortly. Chopper nodded, turned big, picked up Zoro, and hurried to the infirmary.

"Why does he have to keep sacrificing himself like that?" Sanji muttered angrily as he stood and looked around.

"You're one to talk!" Usopp snapped, looking around, his slingshot at the ready.

Another bullet came whizzing from somewhere and Sanji ducked. It barely passed over his head.

"There!" Luffy pointed off the boat to a little rowboat not far off. Someone was standing there, their sniper rifle cocked and aimed at the Sunny.

A bullet came whizzing towards Sanji again, and this time Luffy jumped in front of him. The bullet bounced off of his chest and back towards the enemy, who flinched as it grazed their sleeve.

"Gum-gum . . . PISTOL!"

Luffy stretched his arm back and snapped it forward, punching the enemy in the face and knocking them and their rifle overboard.

"Who _was_ that?" Usopp murmured, knees knocking together.

"Must've been an exorcist," Sanji muttered. "You see a lot more of them around when you're a werewolf . . . or vampire, I suppose. I wouldn't know."

Splashing sounds alerted them to the enemy's presence. They turned and saw that the exorcist had managed to climb up the side of the ship with a grappling hook. Up close, it was clear the exorcist was a woman.

She collapsed onto the deck and aimed her rifle at Sanji again. Sanji dodged the bullet and ran forward.

"Oh, my lovely lady," he sighed, seizing her hand in his own. "Your beauty has struck me like a bullet, and the surprise has caught me like the sound of a gunshot—OW!"

The woman had pressed some silver coins into Sanji's face, leaving burn marks.

"The burning passion of your love for me hurts like a thousand suns," Sanji sighed, rubbing his cheek.

"Sanji, get out of the way," Usopp said, exasperated. He grabbed Sanji and dragged him away while Luffy kicked the woman and her tools overboard.

"Luffy!" Sanji exclaimed indignantly. "We had a thing going!"

"No, you didn't," Luffy said, watching as the exorcist resurfaced, looking irritated. She aimed her gun at Luffy and fired. Luffy was thrown backwards by the force, but snapped his head back and grinned, showing the bullet he'd caught between his teeth. The woman looked frightened and swam away back to her little rowboat.

"Let's go check on Zoro," Luffy said, withdrawing from the railing. He and Usopp ran to the infirmary, Sanji close behind (after he stole one last longing glance at the exorcist in her rowboat).

Inside, Chopper had finished extracting the bullet (Zoro under a sedative) and was applying salt to the wound.

"How'd it go?" he asked, not looking up from his patient.

"We beat her," Luffy said before Sanji could start. "How's Zoro?"

"The bullet went near his heart, but he's gonna be fine," Chopper said. "He'll need some extra bed rest due to its location."

"He's not gonna be happy about that," Usopp muttered.

"I'll tie him down if I have to," Chopper snapped. "Get out, I'm busy."

* * *

When Zoro was finally able to come to dinner again, Sanji gave him a slightly bigger portion than usual. Neither commented on it.


	41. Peanut Butter

**dragoscilvio requested Robin pranking the WW (with peanut butter)**

**Non-humans: WW Zoro, WW Sanji**

* * *

As the Strawhats sat around the dinner table and Sanji served up the meal, Robin quietly brought out a jar of peanut butter and a butter knife.

"Where did you get that?" Nami muttered quietly.

Robin smiled. "I bought it in town the other day. Watch this. Zoro?"

Zoro glanced up. Robin stuck the knife in the jar and put a dollop of peanut butter on the tip of his nose.

"What the—?" He frowned and stuck his tongue out, trying to reach up to his nose and lick it off. The others snickered.

"You look so stupid," Sanji said, smirking. Zoro glared at him before returning to his task.

"Sanji, hold still," Robin said. She stood quickly, stuck the knife in the peanut butter again, and put some on the tip of his nose. Sanji blinked in surprise and started trying to lick it off.

"Robin, that's great!" Luffy exclaimed, cracking up as Zoro and Sanji futilely attempted to lick the peanut butter off of their noses.

"Luffy, shut up, I'm trying to concentrate," Sanji muttered with his tongue sticking out.

"It's—just—out—of reach—" Zoro said, his words distorted. "There!"

He managed to lick some of it off his nose and swallowed with a satisfied expression. Sanji glared daggers at him and continued his pursuit of the peanut butter.

"I'll get it!" Luffy offered. Sanji glared at him.

"Your tongue doesn't go anywhere _near_ my nose," he snapped.

Luffy sighed. "Robin, can I have some?"

Robin put some peanut butter on his nose.

"I meant on a plate, but okay!" Luffy said happily. With his rubber tongue, he had no problem reaching up and licking it off.

"You could just, I dunno, use a napkin?" Usopp suggested as Sanji continued to struggle.

"Never," Sanji mumbled. But eventually, he just wiped it off with his finger and ate it from there.

"Robin-_chwan_, that was such a kind gift," he sighed happily.

"I can do it again," she offered, raising the jar and knife.

"N-No, that's okay, don't trouble yourself . . ."

"Finally," Zoro muttered as he licked off the last of the peanut butter. "Don't ever do that again, Robin."

Robin smiled. "But you two looked so cute."

Zoro growled.


	42. Anemic

**This chapter's based on the tumblr post started by jaaaaaaaaaackfrost and added on to by frostlands, leupagus, krazykitsune, and harblkun. **

**Non-humans: Vampire Sanji**

* * *

"Heading out early?" Luffy asked sleepily as Sanji stepped outside. The sun had not quite set yet, but he had put on some sunscreen.

"Yeah, I'm pretty thirsty," Sanji said.

Luffy gave him a thumbs-up and shuffled off to bed with the others. Sanji jumped off the ship and onto the dock.

It didn't take him long to find a house with lights on. He spotted the occupant reading inside and knocked on the door.

The door opened a moment later. The resident was young and dark-skinned, her bushy black hair tied up in a high ponytail. She wore a short skirt and a long-sleeve striped top.

"Hey, can I help you?" she asked, rubbing her eyes and holding onto the doorframe.

Sanji smiled and bowed. "Good evening, miss. Would you be so kind as to invite me into your home?"

He occasionally took this blunt approach. Other times he would pretend to ask to use the restroom or look at a map.

"What? Uh . . . sure, come on in," she said, stepping aside. Sanji breathed a sigh of relief and went inside.

The girl shut the door. "So can I help you, or . . ."

"Yes," Sanji said. "I'm very sorry about this." He looked at her. "Hold still."

She froze in place and her eyes widened slightly. "What are you—?"

"Don't speak," he said softly. As she went mute, he said again, "Sorry," and approached her. Leaning in, he bit into her neck and sucked.

But then he hastily withdrew and swallowed, looking disgusted. "What the hell?"

"What?" the girl asked, too startled to run away despite that Sanji's control had broken when he'd withdrawn.

"This stuff is nasty," he exclaimed, making a face. "I mean—no offense, my dear—"

"Well, I have anemia, that might be it," the girl remarked.

Sanji stared at her. "Anemia . . . oh, when you don't have enough iron. That explains it."

"Yeah. So, if you can't drink my blood . . . look, just get out of my house," she said exasperatedly.

"Are you taking something for that?" he asked, ignoring the order.

"What, like pills or something? No."

"You should probably take something for that. Once again, no offense, but it tastes absolutely _horrid_ to drink, let alone have running through your body."

"Can you just leave? I'm fine."

"I'm taking you to our doctor," Sanji said abruptly. "He'll be able to help."

"What?"

"Walk with me," Sanji ordered, and the girl was forced to comply. She unwillingly followed him out of her house and down the road.

"I'll scream," she threatened.

"Don't say a word," he ordered. She fell silent and glared at him as she continued walking.

Soon they reached the ship. Sanji grabbed her and held her bridal-style as he leapt up and over the side of the ship.

As he set her down, Chopper approached them. "Sanji, you're back soon. Um, who's this?"

"Chopper, can you examine her? She has anemia," Sanji said shortly.

The girl stretched out her arms irritably, the control having been broken. "Why did you make me come here? I told you, I'm fine."

"Anemia's _not_ fine!" Chopper exclaimed. He turned big and dragged the extremely exasperated girl to the sickbay, Sanji close behind.

* * *

"Can I go home now?"

"Yes, but take these with you," Chopper said, depositing a small bottle into her hand. "These are iron supplements. Take one every morning and evening, and make sure you eat a diet rich in iron as well—things like red meat, greens, fish—"

"Okay, whatever," the girl snapped. "I'm going home."

She left, Sanji following close behind.

"Will you leave me alone, you stupid vampire?!"

"I want to make sure you take those pills!"

"Do you get this involved with _all _your meals?"

* * *

The next evening the girl opened the door to find Sanji on the doorstep. She immediately shut the door.

"Hey—!"

Sanji kept knocking on the door until she opened it again. "What do you want?!"

"May I come in?" he asked innocently.

"No," she said flatly. "Leave me alone."

"Did you take your pills?"

"No."

"Why not?!"

"Because I don't need them! I'm fine!"

"I tasted your blood! You're _not_ fine!"

"Go away!"

"Are you at least eating well?"

"I had a salad earlier."

"If you let me in, I can cook up something delicious for you."

"What?"

"I'm a chef," Sanji explained. He smiled, showing his fangs.

The girl sighed. "Fine. Just this once. Come in."

Sanji gratefully stepped inside and looked around. He headed to the kitchen.

"Not bad," he remarked. "May I use what I like?"

"Sure," the girl muttered. "I skipped dinner."

"What?!"

"Wasn't hungry."

Sanji turned to her, about to lecture on the importance of not skipping out on meals, when her eyes fluttered and she stumbled backwards into a chair.

"Are you okay?" he asked urgently, helping her sit up. "Don't push yourself."

"I'm fine," she mumbled. "I just faint sometimes."

Sanji frowned. "This is why our doctor gave you those pills, you know."

"I'm _fine_."

Sanji told her to stay in the chair. He turned away to start on the meal.

"How'd you become a vampire?" she asked, curious despite herself.

"I pissed someone off," Sanji explained, putting a pan on the stove and turning on the heat as he sprinkled olive oil on the bottom. "Turns out he was a magician. He cursed me, and now I'm like this."

"Can you eat normal food?"

"I wish. It still smells good, but it tastes like garbage. Oh, I can drink alcohol if the proof isn't too low."

The girl raised an eyebrow. "Hm."

Soon enough Sanji had some vegetables and meat chunks sizzling in the pan.

"That smells good . . ."

"Doesn't it? It's almost done, so just be patient."

"What do you think I've been doing?"

There was a knock at the door. The girl stiffened and looked at Sanji suspiciously. "A vampire friend?"

"I don't know any others like me," Sanji admitted, glancing at the door. "Besides, this is _your_ house . . ."

He poured some chopped onions into the pan as the girl went to answer the door.

"Hi!" he heard Chopper exclaim. "Are you taking the pills?"

"No."

"What?!"

"I'm making her dinner, Chopper," Sanji called.

Chopper trotted into the kitchen, the girl close behind, looking very annoyed.

"I followed your scent," he said. Sanji picked him up so he could see into the pan. "Oh, good, you put the onions in."

"Onions are good for blood," Sanji explained to the girl, setting Chopper down.

The girl sighed and sat back down lest she receive a lecture from the doctor or vampire about rest.

"What are _you_?" she asked Chopper.

"A reindeer," Chopper whispered nervously.

"Oh. . . . A devil fruit?"

"Y-Yeah."

"Never seen one of those," she remarked, staring at him curiously. He hid behind Sanji backwards.

"We've got four on our crew," Sanji said, turning off the heat and moving around the stir-fry again. "Our captain's rubber, our beautiful historian is very good with her hands, and our musician is dead . . . and here's our doctor."

He smiled at Chopper as he scraped the stir-fry onto a plate. He handed it to the girl and said with a smile, "_Bon appétit!_"

She stabbed her fork into some and chewed slowly. "It's . . . really good. This is awesome!"

"We're setting sail tomorrow, so I'm afraid we can't help you anymore than this," Sanji said sadly. "Oh, that reminds me, I still need a drink . . . Chopper, stay here and make sure she takes the supplement."

Chopper saluted as Sanji exited the house. The girl raised an eyebrow at him as she continued eating.

When she was finished, Chopper crossed his arms and said, "Now take a pill."

"Nah."

"It'll help!"

"I'm good."

"SANJI!"

Sanji was at the window soon enough, tapping on the glass and looking annoyed.

"I'm not inviting him in," the girl said stubbornly.

Chopper turned big, scooped her up under his arm, and dragged her outside.

"I haven't even had a drink yet," Sanji snapped. "What is it?"

"She won't take her medicine," Chopper said. He ran back inside and came back with the little bottle. "Can you . . . ?"

"Sorry about this, but you need to take it," Sanji said to the girl. Chopper gave her the bottle and Sanji ordered, "Open it and take out a pill."

She slowly did as he commanded, glaring daggers at him. "The food was great, but keep this up and I'll call the Marines," she threatened.

"Place it in your mouth and swallow," Sanji said, ignoring her threat. She did this, making a face.

Chopper ran and got her some water to chase it down with.

"Well, that's all," Sanji said cheerfully. "If you'll excuse us, Chopper needs some sleep and I need a drink. Goodnight, my dear!"

They departed, leaving the girl to storm back inside and slam the door shut.

* * *

The next evening the girl saw neither heads nor tails of the pirates. She sighed with relief and went to fix herself dinner when she spotted something on the counter.

It was a cookbook specifically for anemia. The title How to Cook for an Anemic had been crossed out and replaced with How to Taste Delicious and a small smiley face with fangs.

That night she reluctantly took her medicine after supper.


	43. Return to Sabaody

**Lew-****_chan_**** requested ... well, the request was very specific, so almost everything in this chapter was in the request. Incidentally, this takes place during the Sabaody reunion.**

**Non-humans: WW Zoro**

* * *

"And don't give me that attitude!" Perona snapped, pointing at Zoro, who narrowed his eye in annoyance. "After I was nice enough to scratch your ears—"

Zoro stiffened, his tail flicking angrily. "That was _one time_, and I only let you because you wouldn't leave me alone!"

"Oh, that reminds me," Luffy said. He reached up and started scratching Zoro's ear. Zoro sighed and closed his eye, relaxing.

Luffy grinned. "I missed doing this! Zoro, did you miss it too?"

"Mm-hm," Zoro mumbled, leaning into Luffy's hand.

Perona's mouth dropped open in shock. "What—that's not fair!" she exclaimed. "He gets to do it but I don't?! Don't ignore me and be all cute like that!"

Zoro and Luffy ignored her. After a moment Perona floated to Zoro's other ear and started scratching that one. Zoro briefly considered protesting, but the blissful sensation of having _both_ ears scratched won out and he went with it.

"This is better," Perona said. "You're so cute!"

Zoro ignored her.

Meanwhile, Sanji stared at the trio with deep jealousy.

"Perona-_chan_, won't you scratch _my_ ears?" he asked hopefully.

Perona gave him such an icy glare that he sank to the ground in depression without the help of Negative Hollows.

"It's not fair," he mumbled as Zoro continued to ignore his surroundings in utter bliss. "If I were a werewolf, pretty girls would scratch _my_ ears. Or maybe I could be a vampire. Don't girls love vampires?"

"Vampires are _really_ cool, but this is cute," Perona said.

Sanji actually sank into the dirt.

Eventually the shouts of the Marines reached them. Perona stopped scratching Zoro's ear and looked up. Luffy stopped and slapped Zoro a few times to snap him out of it.

"Zoro, Marines, let's go," he said quickly. Zoro nodded and they ran on ahead.

"Thanks," Zoro called back at Perona. "Hey, Number 7, quit moping and get over here. Don't you want to see Nami and Robin?"

Sanji immediately jumped back up, cured of his depression. "NAMI-_SWAN_! ROBIN-_CHWAN_! WAIT FOR ME, MY LOVES!"


	44. Two Vampires and a Law

**Kurogitsune Yue requested Law with Vampire Luffy and Sanji. I decided to have some Punk Hazard body-switching shenanigans as well.**

**The timeline for each section after linebreaks is Sabaody, Marineford/Traffy's sub, Punk Hazard x 6, and sailing to Dressrosa.**

**Non-humans: Vampire Luffy, Vampire Sanji**

* * *

"Oh, but before we start, I need a drink."

Eustass Kidd and Trafalgar Law looked over at Luffy, who was eyeing them hungrily.

"A drink?" Kidd said flatly. "Now?"

"Yeah. I haven't had one since yesterday," Luffy said. He looked at them a moment longer and then shook his head. "No, I guess one of those guys would be better."

He looked to the crowd of Marines, pointed at one randomly, and called, "You! Come here!"

The Marine began walking forward against his will. His eyes widened comically and he twisted his head around to cry out, "Help! I-I can't control my body!"

"Faster," Luffy said impatiently. When the lone Marine finally reached him, Luffy grinned, said, "Sorry!" and bit into his neck. As he drank, Kidd and Law stared at him, Law with narrowed eyes and Kidd with utter surprise.

Once Luffy was finished (he'd only needed a minute or so), he withdrew, apologized again, and wiped the Marine's memory. As the soldier went limp, Luffy threw the unconscious body behind him, wiped his lips, and said cheerfully, "Alright, I'm ready!"

"What the _fuck_ was _that_?!" Kidd yelled. "You vampire freak!"

Luffy frowned. "Hey, 'freak' isn't nice."

"So you're a vampire, Strawhat-_ya_," Law remarked, recovering from his surprise and now looking at Luffy with great interest.

"What about it?" Luffy said bluntly as the Marines got over their shock and began to charge.

Law turned to the enemy. "I guess it's not important as long as you're not planning to drain anyone on my crew."

Luffy grinned. "Why would I do that?"

* * *

"HEY, HEY, HEY! WAIT UP!"

Law turned just in time to catch the straw hat flying towards him. He looked up at Buggy's angry floating torso.

"Give that back to him!" Buggy yelled. "Captain Buggy is flashily _out_ of here!"

Law glanced at the straw hat, studied it for a moment, and went below deck again. His submarine began to submerge.

"Captain!" Penguin exclaimed, looking up from Luffy. "We've lost him!"

Law glanced up. "Excuse me?"

Penguin gulped. "His—his heart—"

"Isn't beating?" Law finished. "Of course it's not. He's a vampire."

Penguin jumped back from Luffy's prone body in shock.

"Get over yourself," Law snapped, hurrying over to the sink to wash his hands. "He's a vampire . . . his internal structure might be different from humans, and his heart doesn't beat, so it might be hard to tell if he's dead . . ."

He snapped on some gloves. "In any case, they're both so out of it that they won't need anesthesia." He grinned. "This'll be a fun operation . . ."

* * *

"Sanji," Chopper/Sanji whimpered, "I keep craving blood."

"If we're like this for much longer, I'll show you how to get some," Sanji/Nami promised. He/she briefly glanced down at his/her chest—for once, not to ogle, but to place a hand over the heart.

"It's beating," he/she said softly. "I didn't even realize I'd missed this. I'm not craving blood . . . I'm _breathing_ . . ."

Unfortunately, Nami/Franky saw him/her and mistook what he/she was doing with that hand. She/he raised a giant fist.

* * *

"Chopper! What's it like in Sanji's body?" Usopp asked eagerly as he and Luffy met up with the others and got everything sorted out.

"It's so weird," Chopper/Sanji exclaimed. "I've never wanted to taste blood before, and my heart's not beating!"

Meanwhile, Sanji/Nami was taking in deep breaths of air with a lump on his/her head.

"Sanji, what're you doing?" Usopp asked.

"Enjoying breathing," Sanji/Nami replied happily. He/she took in a big breath, held it for a while, and then let it out. "That hurt!"

"You get to be in a human body?!" Luffy exclaimed. "Man, no fair . . ."

"I want to taste some regular food before this is over," Sanji/Nami sighed. "It's been years!"

"NO FAIR!"

* * *

". . . So why do _I_ have to be stuck in _this_ body?!"

Nami/Sanji sighed, and then blinked. "Huh?"

"My heart's beating again and I feel warm," Chopper exclaimed happily. "And my body . . . my body is . . . FRANKY!"

"Leave the super me alone," Franky mumbled, looking away. "I thought I could control it . . ."

"My heart's not beating!" Nami/Sanji cried. "And what's with this weird taste for blood?!"

"You'll get used to it, I'm sure," Robin said soothingly.

Nami/Sanji stifled a sob.

* * *

"We survived . . ." Usopp mumbled, sitting up. "Somehow . . ."

He glanced at Nami/Sanji and noticed that she/he was staring at his wrist. He waved a hand in front of her/his face and whispered, "Nami? Hello?"

Nami/Sanji shook her/his head and looked at Usopp. "Sorry," she/he said quickly. "I just . . ."

"You're thirsty?"

Nami/Sanji nodded.

Usopp sighed and pulled back the sleeve of his coat. "You can take some, but hurry it up! We've gotta get going!"

Nami/Sanji stared at his wrist again apprehensively. She/he bit her/his lip nervously.

"Just bite down and suck," Usopp said exasperatedly. "Come on, I've seen and felt Sanji doing it a hundred times, you can do it too."

Nami/Sanji was almost crying as she/he brought Usopp's wrist up to her/his mouth. "Thank you," she/he murmured before biting down. Usopp winced—he had never really gotten used to the brief pain—and waited patiently.

After a minute or so he tapped Nami/Sanji's shoulder. "Hey, Nami, come on. We don't have any more time. Let's go."

Nami/Sanji hurriedly withdrew. "I'm sorry!"

"Don't worry about it," Usopp said exasperatedly, rolling his sleeve down again. "Let's go!"

* * *

"AHH, THE DREAM IS OVER!" Sanji yelled. "Damn this body!"

"My body's back!" Nami cried happily, looking at her own two hands. "Oh, thank god, my heart's beating!"

Sanji licked his lips curiously. "Nami-_swan_ . . . ?"

"I had to take some of Usopp's blood," she mumbled.

"I'm so sorry, my dear!" Sanji cried. "I should have had a drink earlier rather than subject you to that—!"

Nami, meanwhile, had noticed something else.

"Sanji-_kun_ . . . ? Why am I wearing a different coat?"

* * *

"Since when were you a vampire, Strawhat?" Smoker demanded as they stood outside Caesar's door.

"Oh, that happened a while ago," Luffy said dismissively. "That reminds me, can I have some of your blood?"

"Absolutely not."

"Just a bit."

"No."

* * *

"I picked up some conversation earlier, Strawhat-_ya_," Law said as he approached Luffy, who was lying on the lawn and counting blades of grass. Luffy glanced up and yawned, grinning at Law.

"What's up, Traffy?"

"Is Blackleg-_ya_ a vampire as well?"

"Yep."

"Was he the one who . . . ?"

"No, that was another guy," Luffy said. "Speaking of which . . . can I have some of your blood?"

"Only in an emergency."

"Me being thirsty is always an emergency."

"Shouldn't you get some sleep?"

Luffy nodded. "Yeah. I'll have some of your blood after that. Lemme know when we get to Dressroba!"

"It's Dress_rosa_!"

Luffy was already gone.


	45. Scared for Him

**Non-humans: WW Zoro**

* * *

". . . Yeah, but it doesn't work that way," Zoro was explaining exasperatedly to Luffy as they walked down the street, which was becoming emptier as they reached the edge of town.

"Can't you just—?" Luffy made a gesture with his hands.

"No," Zoro snapped, his tail flicking back and forth. "Geez, you're persistent."

Luffy glanced around. "By the way . . ."

"Yeah?"

"I've been thinking . . . are we being followed?"

Zoro was silent for a moment. "Might be. Watch your back."

Luffy nodded and they continued on their way. As they went up an old small set of stone steps, he tripped over his own feet and fell face-first into the dirt.

"You okay?" Zoro muttered, glancing down and stopping.

Luffy gave him a thumbs-up, his face still in the ground. "Mm f'n," he mumbled through the dirt.

Zoro sighed and knelt to help pull him out of the dirt, but the wind grew stronger and he was struck by a horribly familiar smell. He groaned and shut his eyes.

"What's up?" Luffy asked, lifting his face from the ground, his face now streaked with mud.

"Wolf's bane," Zoro muttered, growing dizzier with every passing second. He fell backwards, his eyes squeezed shut. Luffy crawled over to check on him, but he was caught by surprise when in the next moment something was thrown over the pair.

"What the—?" Luffy moaned dramatically and went limp. "I'm weak . . ."

"Seastone," he heard a voice say.

"Oh, that explains it," he mumbled. Then he blinked and looked around. "Hey, who . . . ?"

Someone scooped up the net like a fishing catch and started dragging Luffy and Zoro somewhere.

"Hey, let us go," Luffy protested weakly.

No response. Luffy struggled, but he was too weakened from the net, and Zoro was still trying to recover from the disorientating effects of the wolf's bane.

They were dragged uncomfortably down a dark flight of stairs through an underground passageway, down a dim hallway, and finally through a door into a lit room. It was made of cement, about twenty feet square, and the door was heavy and seemed to be solid iron. Overall, the place had the look and feel of an old war bunker, which was, come to think of it, probably what it was.

"Welcome," the person said mockingly, dropping the net to the ground in the middle of the room. He left, leaving his captives tangled in the net. When he returned, Zoro had finally shaken off the plant's effects, and the man was carrying someone over his shoulder. He dropped her to the ground. It was Nami.

"Nami!" Luffy and Zoro exclaimed at the same time. Her eyes were closed and she was unresponsive at first, but then she stirred and slowly opened her eyes.

"God, my _head_," she hissed, slowly sitting up. She looked around and her eyes widened. "Luffy? Zoro? What's going on?"

"I can explain," their captor said casually, leaning against the doorframe. Nami glared at him and she hurried to get the net off of Luffy and Zoro.

"See, I'm a bounty hunter," the man said as Luffy tried to help Nami get the net off, which of course only made their entanglement worse and got Nami's wrist caught in a loop. "I'm also a magician. I noticed that the Strawhat pirates were in town and decided to keep an eye on you."

Nami freed her wrist and got back to work.

"Wasn't I surprised to learn you had a werewolf onboard!" the bounty hunter continued, gesturing to Zoro, who growled at him. "Tell me, are you scared of him?"

"Of course not," Luffy said without hesitation. Nami got Zoro free and he slowly straightened, glaring daggers at the magician and growling.

The magician pointed to Zoro and murmured, "_Eht thgil fo eht lluf noom si ereh, dna eht flow segreme._"

Zoro stiffened, but nothing happened.

"What kind of trick was that?" he snapped.

Luffy was finally freed from the net and Nami tossed it aside. The magician pointed to the net, clicked his fingers, and it flew into his hand.

"That was awesome," Luffy exclaimed. Nami smacked his shoulder.

"Your werewolf friend is going to transform in a minute," the magician said casually.

"What?" Nami whispered.

"That spell I just did forces him to turn into his wolf form," the magician said, smirking. "For . . . oh, I don't know how long. I figured I can let _him_ kill _you _two, and then I can turn in your bodies to the Marines for a nice sum of . . . how much is it? Over three hundred million, at least . . ."

"You're bluffing," Zoro muttered. "You've gotta be bluffing."

"Undo it!" Luffy yelled, readying his fists.

"Oh?" the magician said. "I thought you weren't scared of him?"

Zoro suddenly doubled over and fell to the ground, breathing hard. Beads of perspiration formed on his forehead from the forced speed of the process.

Luffy glanced at Zoro and turned back to the magician angrily. "We're not scared _of _him, we're scared _for_ him!" he yelled. "If he hurts one of us while he's like that, he'll never forgive himself because that's the kind of idiot he is!"

The magician smiled. "Then that's really too bad for him and you. Toodles."

He left, swinging the heavy door shut behind him and locking it. Luffy and Nami turned to Zoro. His head was lengthening and his limbs and torso shifted as hair began to sprout all over his body. Nami hurried over to Luffy's side.

Soon Zoro straightened up, now in wolf form. His shirt was hanging on by shreds under his _haramaki_, his pants and boots had slipped off, and his swords clattered to the ground as he looked at Luffy and Nami and growled.

"Zoro," Luffy said clearly, staring into his friend's eyes. "I won't let you hurt us. Don't worry." He glanced at Nami. "Stay with me."

Zoro charged with a fierce bark. Luffy grabbed Nami and jumped over Zoro, using his back as a springboard and momentarily knocking him to the ground. As they landed, Zoro struggled to his feet and turned on them again, snarling.

"Luffy," Nami said as she and Luffy leapt out of the way, Luffy kicking Zoro in the side. Zoro flew into the wall and landed hard on the ground. "I have my staff. I can knock him out while you keep him busy."

"That works," Luffy said, keeping an eye on Zoro, who was whimpering slightly and getting up again. "And . . . now!"

Zoro charged again and Luffy jumped up, landing on the werewolf's back. As Zoro whined and snarled in frustration, Nami whipped out her Clima Tact, threw the pieces together, and whacked Zoro on the head, knocking him out. He fell over with a lump on his furry head and Luffy slowly got off him.

"Nice," he said cheerfully, holding out his hand. Nami high-fived him and stowed away her weapon again. Luffy gathered up Zoro's lost clothes and swords and they sat against the wall to take a breather.

"Shouldn't we break out?" Nami asked eventually, looking at the heavy door. "If we _can_ . . ."

"Nah, we should wait," Luffy said. "I mean, if Zoro wakes up and he's still like this, he'd wreak havoc outside, right?"

"Right," Nami agreed.

"So how'd you get captured?" Luffy asked curiously.

Nami puffed out her cheeks in annoyance. "That jerk tricked me. Said he was selling perfume and sprayed some stuff on a handkerchief for me to smell. Next thing I know I wake up here."

Luffy laughed. Nami hit him. "Well, how'd _you_ get captured?!"

"He caught us by surprise," Luffy admitted. "He made Zoro dizzy with that bane stuff, and while I was checking on him, he threw the net over us."

Nami sighed. "You two should really watch yourself when there's stuff like _that_ around to make you weaker."

"Yeah, we noticed we were being followed," Luffy said cheerfully. "Guess we should've done something about it sooner!"

Nami hit him again.

"Ow," Luffy muttered. "But think of it this way—if he hadn't caught us, you probably would've been captured and turned in by yourself. This way, once Zoro's back to normal, we have a better chance of escaping."

Nami stared at him. "You're being weirdly smart today. Did someone hit you on the head?"

"You did."

Nami threateningly held up her fist again and Luffy flinched. They turned back to look at Zoro, still unconscious.

They waited. Not even half an hour later, Zoro began to turn back. The hair slowly shrank back into his body, which shifted with his limbs and face.

Zoro, back in human form, lay on the ground. He slowly sat up, clutching his head, which was pounding something fierce. He was hit in the head with his pants and quickly put them on.

"Thank you," he murmured, scooting over to Luffy and Nami and taking back his other things. "I'm so—"

"Don't waste time apologizing," Luffy said, standing as Zoro straightened out his swords, his shirt still in tatters and barely hanging on. Zoro tore off the rest of it and left it lying on the ground—it could never have been sewn back together at that point.

"You okay?" Nami asked quietly as Luffy started experimentally knocking on the metal door.

"It was rough," Zoro muttered. "I've never had to transform so quickly. Usually, y'know, my body has a day to prepare, but this . . ." he shook his head. "Never mind me, are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Nami said gently. "You feel up to helping Luffy out with that?"

Zoro nodded and readied his swords, approaching the door to stand by Luffy. "On your word, captain?"

Luffy nodded. "Three . . . two . . . now!"

"108-POUND CANNON!"  
"GUM-GUM BAZOOKA!"

Their combined attacks blasted the door off its hinges, leaving it a smoking, twisted mess in the dim hallway. They straightened up and headed out.

"C'mon," Luffy called to Nami, who was standing frozen in shock.

"Monsters, both of you," she muttered fondly under her breath as she hurried after them.

As they went for the stairs, they found the magician coming down them.

* * *

"Um . . ."

Usopp and Chopper stared at Luffy, Zoro, and Nami. Robin was sitting a little ways off, casually watching them. Luffy looked fine, Zoro had an exhausted expression and bruises over his exposed torso, and Nami looked traumatized.

"So . . ." Usopp gestured to all of them. "Are you gonna tell us what happened, or . . ."

"A bunch of stuff," Luffy said cheerfully.

"Yes, thank you," Usopp said sarcastically. "Zoro, where's your shirt?"

"I flexed and it fell off," Zoro deadpanned.

"Why are you hurt?" Chopper squeaked, looking over the bruises.

"Luffy kicked me a lot."

"Luffy—!"

"I had to," Luffy protested. "Besides, we took care of the other guy pretty quickly."

"Other guy—? Nami, are you okay?"

"Luffy, Zoro, did that guy really deserve all that?" Nami asked weakly, her horrified expression seemingly stuck on. "I don't think his face will ever look right again . . ."

"He tried to kill us," Luffy pointed out.

"Still . . ."

"What is going on?" Usopp demanded again.

"Do you think he'll ever walk again?" Nami whispered, almost to herself.

Zoro shrugged. "Speaking of walking, I need to sleep this off."

"Zoro, come to my office immediately!" Chopper exclaimed.

"I'll do that after a nap," Zoro snapped. "God, my head hurts . . ."

"Your head—? What's going _on_?" Usopp cried as Zoro shuffled to the men's quarters, Chopper on his heels.

"Sanji, I'm hungry," Luffy called, running for the kitchen.

Usopp looked at Nami, but she was staring off into space as she whispered, "There was so much blood . . ."

"What _happened_?!" Usopp screamed.

Robin giggled.

* * *

**I know someone's going to ask this (eventually, if not this chapter), so let me just say this now: Magic circles for magicians/wizards/magic-users are only needed for _some_ spells. The spell to create a vampire requires a magic circle, but the one to force a werewolf to transform does not. It has nothing to do with the level of accomplishment of the caster. However, nonverbal spells, like the one the magician used to bring the Seastone net to him, _do_ have to do with the level of accomplishment. In other words, nonverbal spells are used by more advanced spellcasters and are harder to do than verbal spells. The advantage is that they don't take as much time to cast once sufficiently mastered. **


	46. Battle for Dominance

**Quick couple things: **

**First off, it's been brought to my attention that the OP world actually has, like, six or seven satellites. For this story we have a minor AU where there's only one satellite called "the Moon," like our moon. **

**And second, I've decided to change this story's rating to M for the violent scenes.****phonenix requested WW Luffy and Zoro fighting.**

**Non-humans: WW Luffy, WW Zoro**

* * *

Luffy and Zoro shuffled outside as the moon began to rise.

"Good evening," Brook said cheerfully as the two glanced out to the island they'd stopped at earlier. "We did some exploring and found this island uninhabited, so you two may explore as you please!"

"Alright," Zoro mumbled, yawning. Brook went inside as Nami (on watch that night) went up to the observatory. The werewolves went down to the sand and stripped, leaving their clothes by the ship as they trudged a little ways into the trees.

After they'd transformed, they went into the woods together, walking upstream of a creek.

_Let's go this way,_ Luffy said as they hit a fork in the road. He started heading right, but Zoro growled. Luffy stopped and turned around to look at him.

_I want to go this way,_ Zoro said, indicating the other direction with a glance.

_I'm the leader,_ Luffy insisted. _We're going this way._

_Who says you're the leader?_ Zoro demanded, baring his teeth. _Why shouldn't I be the leader?_

Luffy bared his teeth and raised his hackles. _I'm the leader because I said so._

_I'm ready to fight for that,_ Zoro snarled, turning in a circle. He sprang at Luffy, knocking him to the ground, and they began to wrestle, turning over and around in the dirt while biting and scratching and snarling.

* * *

A couple hours later they ceased their fight, both surrendering as they were tired. They flopped down on their sides, panting.

_I'm going this way, you can go another way if you want,_ Luffy grumbled. He got up on his paws, lapped up some water from the creek, and went his own way.

Zoro looked after him for a moment before he took a quick drink from the creek as well and followed him.

* * *

Luffy and Zoro somehow ended up near the beach by the time the dawn broke. They'd said nary a word since their fight.

When they'd finished transforming back, they got up, blinking and yawning sleepily. They glanced at each other and quickly got their clothes back on, trudging back to the ship and heading to the men's quarters for a morning nap.

* * *

"What the hell happened?" Usopp exclaimed as Luffy and Zoro sat at the table for lunch. They were covered in bite marks, scratches, and bruises.

Luffy and Zoro looked at each other before laughing.

"It was nothing important," Luffy said cheerfully, starting on his meal.

"It probably won't be a problem again, anyway," Zoro added.

"Doesn't explain what happened," Franky pointed out.

They ignored him and kept eating.

"Let me clean those up after lunch," Chopper insisted.

They ignored him.

"Guys!"


	47. Solar Eclipse

**From last chapter: Not long after Luffy and Zoro set off from the stream, they started arguing again. This time, Luffy unconsciously released a small burst of Conqueror's Haki. Zoro felt this, but was not knocked out due to its mildness. He recognized Luffy's strength and decided to yield to him being the alpha. **

**Alexzandeia and Matt requested a solar eclipse!**

**Non-humans: WW Zoro, WW Luffy**

* * *

"The eclipse is happening this afternoon, right?" Zoro asked at lunchtime.

Robin nodded, smiling. "It's supposed to be an annular eclipse."

"What's annular mean again?" Usopp asked, propping his elbows up on the table. Sanji snapped at him and Usopp quickly took his arms away.

"Basically, the moon passes completely in front of the sun, but it doesn't cover it entirely," Robin explained. "There's a ring of sun left around the dark circle."

"I can't wait to see it," Chopper said with sparkling eyes.

"I'm just hoping it won't affect you two in some weird way," Sanji said, gesturing to Luffy and Zoro. "The lunar eclipse was a good thing for you, but who knows what a solar eclipse could do?"

"Shouldn't do anything, right?" Franky said. "It's the new moon."

"You never know," Brook said, wiggling his bony fingers mysteriously.

* * *

Everyone was outside when the eclipse came. They watched with shaded and squinting eyes as the dark moon began to pass in front of the sun.

And then Luffy and Zoro cried out.

"Called it," Sanji muttered to himself.

"My head," Luffy moaned, doubling over and falling to the deck. Zoro collapsed a moment later, groaning.

"Maybe you guys should get inside," Chopper said nervously. "Just in case . . ."

Usopp, of course, was already inside. The others hurried inside as well, leaving only Brook and Chopper out to deal with their werewolves.

A minute later Luffy and Zoro rose, crouching on all fours. They looked around, sniffing with narrowed eyes, and spotted each other. They growled and prepared to spring before sniffing and hesitating.

"Zo—ro?" Luffy said, the words dragged out of him as if he was unused to speaking. He wrinkled his nose and looked down at himself, growling in shock and confusion.

"Lu—ffy," Zoro growled in turn, checking over himself. "We're . . . hu—man?"

"Cho . . . pper," Luffy said slowly, turning to their reindeer friend. "Broo—kk. What . . . is . . . this—?"

"I think they have their wolf minds right now," Chopper whispered to Brook, who nodded and knelt by the werewolves.

"This must be really weird for you," Chopper said slowly and gently. "It's because of that." He pointed to the sky and the werewolves looked up at the astronomical phenomenon. They squinted and looked back down.

"It'll end soon," Chopper said comfortingly. "You only _look_ like humans."

Luffy's face morphed into a sort of twisted grin, the wolf in him unused to smiling. "O—kay."

The others secretly watched through the porthole as Luffy, on all fours, wandered around Chopper and looked curiously at his hands.

"Are they wolves?" Usopp whispered.

"I think they have their wolf minds," Nami whispered, shoving Sanji aside to look.

"They should go back to normal once the eclipse is over," Robin whispered.

"They look like they're having fun, though," Franky remarked as Luffy fell onto his back, limbs waving happily in the air.

Meanwhile, Chopper was trying to teach them to stand on two legs.

"Balance," he said as Brook helped him set Zoro up on his legs. Zoro's legs wobbled, his arms waved, and he fell straight onto his behind.

He wrinkled his nose in a kind of scowl and said jerkily, "Four le . . . gs are—bet—ter tha—n two. Better ba—lan—ce."

Chopper shrugged. "If you say so."

"Chopper-_san_," Brook said, looking up at the sky. The moon was starting to move away from the sun.

A minute later the werewolves whined and curled up on the deck.

"Oh, they're going back to normal," Chopper said in relief.

"It's safe to come out!" Brook called. The others came back outside, and a moment later Luffy and Zoro sat up, rubbing their heads.

"Ow," Luffy mumbled. He and Zoro blinked in surprise as the memories from the past few minutes came back to them.

"Oh!" he exclaimed. "Huh, that was neat! I sure wasn't expecting that!"

"I wish I could've recorded you falling on your ass, moss-head," Sanji snickered.

Zoro shot up and was snarling at Sanji in an instant. "Wanna say that again, shit-cook?"

"Not so coordinated when you're a puppy, are you?"

They started fighting and the others walked away in disinterest.

"Thanks for helping us out," Luffy said to Chopper and Brook cheerfully.

Brook nodded and Chopper began dancing.

* * *

**Lunar eclipses can last for almost four hours maximum, but solar eclipses never last more than 10 minutes. **

**There are three kinds each of lunar and solar eclipses. A lunar eclipse can be partial (when the Earth's umbra only passes over part of the moon), total (when the umbra fully covers the moon for a period of time), or penumbral (when the penumbra covers the moon). The penumbral eclipse is basically just a darker gray moon, so it's harder to see. **

**A solar eclipse can be partial (when the moon only passes over part of the sun), annular (when the moon completely passes over the sun but leaves a ring of light), or total (when the moon completely covers the sun's light). Very rarely, an annular eclipse can change to a total eclipse partway through.**

**Generally it's a very bad idea to look directly at a solar eclipse under any circumstances. There are viewing tools you can buy or make. Protect your eyes!**

**As for werewolves, the type of eclipse doesn't matter; as long as an eclipse does indeed occur, the effects are the same.**


	48. Vampire Usopp

**Lew-_chan_ requested Vampire Usopp. Angst alert.**

**Non-humans: Vampire Sanji, Vampire Usopp**

* * *

"Seriously, I was in the middle of shopping," Sanji muttered, yawning as he looked around the grassy field. "Are you sure it wasn't just a bird you saw?"

Usopp hesitated. "It might have been . . ."

Sanji lifted his sunglasses to glare at Usopp. "I have better things to do than go on a wild goose-chase for some damn bird."

"Sorry," Usopp whispered.

Sanji was about to turn when something caught his eye: a set of stairs in the field, descending underground.

"What's that?" he muttered, approaching it. Usopp followed him, peering into the darkness anxiously.

"Maybe someone lives there?" he said quietly.

Sanji cautiously took a few steps down the stairs, turned, and shrugged. "Guess not?"

He descended. After a moment Usopp followed him, catching up and clinging to the back of his shirt.

"I hear something," Sanji murmured.

They went down the dark hallway (Sanji stowed his sunglasses in his pocket), which seemed to be cement. After a bit, they came upon a room. Light spilled from the open entrance.

They peered around the corner and saw a man. He was coming towards the doorway and saw them immediately.

"Oh?" he said.

Sanji stepped out from behind the door. "Is this your place?" he asked politely. "Sorry, didn't mean to intrude."

"Sanji, let's go," Usopp stage-whispered.

"Not at all," the man said, smiling. "Why don't you come in here for a bit?"

Sanji cautiously came inside, Usopp close behind. The room was bare cement, about twenty feet square with a single bare bulb on the ceiling lighting up the place.

The man inched towards the doorway. "I noticed you in town the other day."

"Did you?" Sanji asked, narrowing his eyes.

The man nodded, smiling. "The Strawhat pirates," he said.

Usopp squeaked nervously.

"Blackleg Sanji and Sniper King Sogeking," the man said, nodding to each of them in turn. "I was wondering how I'd manage to capture you, but how fortunate that _you_ came to _me_!"

He was blocking the doorway now. Sanji opened his mouth, intending to force the man out of their way, but he quickly reached into his coat and pulled out a Star of David, thrusting it into Sanji's face. Sanji flinched and backed up.

"So you _are_ a vampire," the man said delightedly as Usopp glanced between Sanji and the man nervously. "That makes my job much easier."

"D-Don't hurt us," Usopp whimpered pathetically.

"Oh, I won't," the man said. He pointed to Sanji as he continued to hold the six-pointed star and said, "_Elballortnocnu tsriht . . . demusnoc yb tsuldoolb._"

Sanji stiffened, but nothing happened.

"What weird thing was that?" Usopp exclaimed, looking around nervously.

The man smiled. "I'm a magician. Like I said, _I'm_ not going to hurt you . . . but _he_ is."

He pointed to Sanji, who sneered, "Like some stupid words are gonna make me hurt my friends."

"Um, Sanji?" Usopp whispered. "Wasn't it 'some stupid words' that made you a vampire in the first place?"

"Hush," Sanji hissed.

The magician chuckled. "I'll be back soon to collect the corpse."

Still brandishing the star, he backed out of the room and swung the heavy metal door shut. There was a _click_ as it was locked from the outside.

"Let us out!" Usopp yelled, running to the door and banging on it. "Dammit!"

He turned to Sanji. "That guy wasn't telling the truth, was he?"

"Well, nothing's happened," Sanji pointed out with a shrug. "So either he's a total fake or he did the wrong sp—"

Suddenly his eyes widened and his hands flew up to his mouth, shaking.

"Sanji?" Usopp whispered.

Sanji fell to his knees, covering his mouth.

"Thirsty," he whispered, the word muffled by his hands.

"Uh-oh," Usopp whispered, backing up.

Sanji stared at Usopp with great hunger. He was suffering the terrible thirst of not having drunk for weeks, but with none of the weakness that normally accompanied it.

"Sanji, don't, please don't," Usopp whispered. "I know you don't wanna hurt me, and I don't wanna hurt you, but if you attack me, I-I'll be forced to stop you—!"

Sanji leapt to his feet and sprang at Usopp with a hiss. Usopp jumped aside with a shriek and Sanji crashed to the floor, rolling and springing back up with the grace of a cat.

"Give me _blood_," he hissed, diving again. Usopp dodged, punching Sanji's shoulder, making the vampire stumble. Usopp quickly rifled through his bag and fired a Firebird Star at his friend. Sanji easily put out the fire with pats and rolls and looked up with a snarl.

"Sanji, don't _do_ this, please don't," Usopp cried, firing Lead Star after Lead Star at him, but the vampire was not held back and ran forward.

"What did Robin say?" Usopp said to himself as he punched Sanji in the gut, making the vampire double over briefly. "Something about blinding an animal . . . ?"

He reached into his bag of tricks, but this time Sanji caught him—he seized the sniper by the shoulders and held him tightly as he bit savagely into his neck. Usopp cried out in pain as blood spilled and Sanji began lapping it up.

"Sanji," Usopp got out, "please . . . stop . . . this isn't you . . . !"

Sanji ignored him, the words for the moment carrying no meaning to the vampire.

"Let . . . go . . ."

Usopp struggled, but could not pry Sanji's strong jaw off of his neck.

After a while he began to feel woozy.

"N . . . No . . ." he slurred, struggling to keep his eyes open. "San . . . ji . . ."

The vampire didn't stop.

"Please," Usopp mumbled. But he lost his fight to stay conscious and fainted.

It was several minutes later when Sanji's head finally cleared. He pulled back in horror, staring at Usopp's prone figure.

"Oh god, no," he whispered. "Usopp . . . please wake up . . ."

Usopp did not stir.

"Please, wake up," Sanji said, shaking his friend's shoulders. "We gotta go . . . we gotta go back to the ship . . . Chopper will fix you up . . ."

But he knew it was fruitless, for the dead silence in his sensitive ears confirmed the sniper's heart had stopped.

He bowed his head over his friend's corpse, heavy thoughts and emotions racing through his mind—

And then the door opened—

"Excellent," he heard the magician say. "I'll turn the body into the Marines, and—"

Sanji whipped around, eyes blazing red and wet, and snarled, "_Don't move! Don't speak!_"

The man was immobilized, eyes wide with sudden fear. Sanji jumped up and ran towards him, seizing his head in both hands. With a sickening _CRACK_ the man's neck was snapped and he fell limp to the ground. He was dead.

Sanji, ever the quick thinker, scooped up the man's corpse and bit into his neck. He gathered some blood in his mouth, hurried to Usopp, yanked open the sniper's lips, and spat the blood in his mouth. He quickly propped Usopp up against the wall and forced the sniper to swallow.

He did this several times, taking the magician's still blood in his mouth and spitting it into Usopp's, making his friend swallow—

He was afraid it wouldn't work, but then Usopp's eyes flew open—

"That was close," the sniper whispered, looking at his hands and turning them over. "I saw a field of flowers . . ."

Sanji breathed a sigh of relief. Usopp glanced up and flinched at the sight of the cook, scrambling away from him.

Sanji looked up at him with wet eyes and Usopp realized the spell had been broken.

"O-Oh," Usopp murmured, slumping against the wall. He spotted the corpse of the magician and shrieked.

"I-Is he—?" he whispered. He saw the odd angle of the neck and gulped.

Sanji covered his bloodstained face with his bloodstained hands.

"S-Sanji?" Usopp said quietly. Sanji looked up and Usopp flinched again, but calmed himself and said, "It's . . . it's okay. You didn't kill me . . . I'm gonna be fine, right?"

Sanji looked down. Usopp frowned. "Right?"

After a moment Usopp licked his lips, frowning. He placed his hand on his neck, covered with blood splatters, and his eyes widened.

"N-No . . ." he gulped.

"I'm so sorry," Sanji whispered.

"N-No way," Usopp said shakily. "No, this can't be happening . . . !"

Sanji's head remained bowed. Usopp clutched his head, staring at the floor.

"We . . . have to wait 'til night comes . . . to head back," Sanji murmured. "We don't have sunscreen, and you . . ."

"No," Usopp said again, standing with the wall for support. He made his way to the door, stepping over the magician's corpse, and slowly made his way to the stairs. But when the sunlight hit him, his skin sizzled, and he quickly retreated to the shadows.

He came back to the room, where Sanji was waiting for him.

"I . . . this isn't real," he said to himself. "This is a dream. This is a weird dream. I'm going to sleep now—not because I'm nocturnal or anything!—and when I wake up I'll be back at the ship, and I'll be normal, and none of this will have ever happened."

Sanji said nothing. Usopp took his bag and rested his head on it like it was a pillow. His eyes fluttered shut and he curled into the fetal position.

After a bit Sanji rested against the wall and fell asleep as well.

* * *

As the sun disappeared beneath the horizon, Sanji woke up and found Usopp still sleeping. He quietly stood, scooped Usopp up in his arms (making sure the sniper's bag was around his shoulder), and left the room with his sleeping friend in his arms.

He went up the stairs and ended up back in the grassy field. There was hardly anyone outside in town at this time.

"Sanji! Usopp!"

His ears twitched at the sound of his name and he looked around for the source.

"Sanji?! Usopp?!"

He followed the voice and found Luffy a few streets over, yelling at the top of his lungs.

"There you are!" he exclaimed, running up to Sanji and grinning. "We were looking for you! Where were you? We had to go out to a restaurant for dinner! The food was good, but not as good as yours, and—"

He cut himself off when he spotted Usopp. "Is he okay?" he asked quietly.

"He's sleeping," Sanji mumbled, not quite answering the question.

Luffy looked closer at both of them and gasped. "Why are you both covered in blood?!"

Sanji pressed his lips together and did not respond. Luffy hesitated.

"Let's go back to the ship," he said at last. "Everyone's been worried."

Sanji nodded and followed him.

* * *

When they got back, the others were gathered out on the lawn deck. Their reactions when they saw Sanji and Usopp were at first joyous and relieved, but soon turned to shock and questioning when they saw the blood.

"We should get cleaned up," Sanji said quietly, setting Usopp on the lawn. Usopp blinked his eyes opened, yawned, and sat up. He glanced around and grinned.

"I was right!" he exclaimed happily. "It _was_ a dream! A terrible nightmare, but it's over, and I'm back and I'm normal!"

"What was a dream?" Nami asked curiously, glancing at Sanji.

Usopp opened his mouth, but then he spotted Sanji and flinched slightly. He saw the blood splatters around the cook's mouth and hands.

"Oh, no," he whispered. He looked down at his chest and shoulders and saw the blood.

"It wasn't a dream," he whispered despondently, bringing his knees to his chest.

Chopper sniffed the blood around Sanji's mouth and his eyes widened. "That's . . . Usopp's blood," he squeaked. "And . . . someone else's, too . . ."

The crew slowly turned to stare at Sanji, who stared at the lawn.

"It wasn't my fault," he mumbled. "But maybe . . . I should have been strong enough . . . to resist the spell."

He slowly explained what happened, each word dragged out of him like barbs. When he finished, the crew was staring at him with mingled horror, shock, and sympathy.

"So now . . . Usopp's a vampire?" Luffy said quietly.

"I'm not," Usopp mumbled from his knees. "I'm normal."

Chopper touched his shoulder gently. "Let's go get you cleaned up, okay?" he glanced at Sanji. "You should wash up, too."

Sanji nodded, stood, and went to the kitchen to wash himself. Chopper dragged Usopp to the bathroom—literally dragged, for the sniper refused to move on his own.

* * *

"You need to drink."

Usopp stubbornly turned away from the blood pack Chopper offered him. "I'm not a vampire," he mumbled.

Chopper sighed. "I checked your vitals myself, Usopp. Your temperature's lower than normal, your heart's not beating, and you don't have a pulse. Your skin's pale, and you don't show up in a mirror." He held up a small mirror to demonstrate, but Usopp covered his eyes, refusing to look.

"I'm sorry about what happened, but you need to accept it," Chopper said quietly.

Usopp refused to open his mouth and shoved away the blood pack again.

"Later, then," Chopper said. He jumped up on the bed next to Usopp and leaned into him, hugging him comfortingly. After a moment Usopp hugged him back.

* * *

Usopp slept the next day away in the infirmary. Chopper reported to Sanji as the cook whipped up breakfast.

"So he's having trouble coming to terms with it," Sanji muttered, almost flipping a pancake to the floor. He caught it just in time and laid it back in the pan.

"Maybe you can talk to him?" Chopper suggested.

Sanji sighed and turned off the burner. "He flinches whenever he sees me. I think I should stay away from him for now."

Chopper nodded.

* * *

Usopp snuck into the kitchen in the evening when Sanji had gone to the library for some night reading. He went into the pantry and tried some crackers, but spat them out into the sink in disgust. Next he filled up a glass and gulped down the water, but his thirst was not quenched.

"I'm not a vampire," he muttered to himself stubbornly.

He spent the rest of the night wandering around the ship, trying to ignore the suddenly amplified sounds of Brook humming to himself in the crow's nest.

* * *

Two days passed with Usopp refusing to drink and growing weaker by the hour.

On the third night, Sanji found their sniper hiding in the observatory, staring out the window.

"Usopp."

Usopp jumped, turned, and flinched slightly.

"Hi," he whispered.

Sanji was carrying something behind his back and sat next to the sniper. He placed a hand on his shoulder and Usopp flinched, but soon relaxed when nothing bad happened.

"I'm so sorry."

Usopp gulped. "I . . . I know it's not your fault."

"Let me finish," Sanji said. Usopp went silent.

"I know you never wanted this," Sanji said softly. "And I never wanted this, either. But the fact is, you're a vampire, and I sure as hell didn't bring you back for you to starve yourself."

He brought out the glass of blood from behind his back. Usopp stared at it with longing before quickly turning away.

"Usopp . . . please, drink."

"No."

Sanji clenched his hand around the cup. "I'm a cook, Usopp. I'm not going to let anyone starve under any circumstances. You're going to die for good this time if you don't drink this damn stuff."

Usopp was silent.

"I know it's hard," Sanji said softly. "I'll help you if you need it. I'll show you how to get blood. I'll buy you some sunscreen and sunglasses. Just please . . . drink this."

He offered up the glass again. Usopp slowly turned to it with tired eyes and took it with shaking hands. He raised it to his lips and took a cautious sip, and then another.

Soon he had drunk the whole glass and looked much better. He set the glass aside and fell into Sanji, crying.

"It'll be okay," Sanji said softly. "It'll be fine."


	49. Bathtime 2

**Nexus requested more WW Usopp and Ashlielle wanted one of the werewolves to use puppy dog eyes, so here we have this chapter!**

**Non-humans: WW Zoro, WW Luffy, WW Sanji, WW Usopp**

* * *

"So, wolf-boys . . ."

Luffy, Zoro, Usopp, and Sanji looked up at Nami's address. Sanji was at the counter cleaning up while the first three were finishing lunch.

"After discussion with me, Robin, Chopper, Franky, and Brook—" She scowled at the skeleton. "—And enduring way too many 'I don't have a nose' jokes—"

Brook chuckled.

"—We've all come to an agreement," she said. "You guys stink to high heaven and you're all getting a bath."

The werewolves froze.

"That's not necessary—"  
"Come on, we wash up fine in wolf form, right—?"  
"We don't stink _that_ bad—"  
"Please don't make us—"

Nami glared at them each in turn. "You're. All. Getting. A. Bath."

Luffy caught the eyes of the other three and silently signaled them.

"Here's the thing about that . . ." he said, slowly pushing his chair back, Zoro and Usopp doing the same.

". . . You can't catch all of us."

He, Zoro, and Usopp bolted for the door and slammed it shut as they escaped outside. Sanji made a break for the door to Chopper's office and cut through that as he made it out as well.

Nami groaned. "Robin . . ."

"I'm on it," Robin said, sounding slightly amused as she stood.

* * *

"Shouldn't we split up?" Usopp mumbled. Everyone was cramped together under the desk in the library.

"Do _you_ want to be alone?" Zoro muttered.

Usopp's tail twitched. "Good point."

"Get your elbow out of my chest, moss-head," Sanji hissed.

"Get your chest off of my elbow, love-cook," Zoro snapped.

"Guys," Luffy hissed. "I hear someone coming."

They promptly fell silent as footsteps approached on the ladder. Soon they saw a pair of slender legs—and then Robin was crouching down and looking at the four stuffed under the desk.

"Did you want help getting out?" she asked, smiling.

"No," Usopp whispered. "Robin, come on, throw us a bone here, don't make us go . . ."

"Good choice of words," Robin observed. "But you're all coming with me."

Luffy stuck his head out, pouted, and made his eyes as big, round, and sad as possible.

"Please don't make us, Robin," he whimpered, staring into her eyes.

* * *

"Well?" Nami asked as Robin returned to the deck.

"They were too powerful for me," Robin said simply. "I surrendered."

"Excuse me?" Franky said.

Robin shrugged. "What can I say? They caught me off-guard. Anyway, they were in the library, but if they're smart, they'll have relocated."

"They're still in the library," Nami concluded. "I'll be right back."

Robin retired to the women's quarters as Nami went off to the Sunny's brain.

"Let's go draw the bath," Franky said to Brook and Chopper. "God knows those four aren't gonna wash themselves."

* * *

"Good job with the puppy eyes, but that probably won't work on the others," Usopp whispered. "Anyway, shouldn't we move?"

"I'm stuck," Luffy said.

"This idiot's got me against the wall," Sanji snapped.

"Look who's talking! My back's jammed against the table leg!" Zoro hissed angrily.

"Boys . . ."

Everyone froze at the sound of Nami's voice.

"Don't make a sound," Usopp whispered.

"That means you," Zoro hissed to Sanji, who looked like he very much wanted to announce his presence to Nami.

Nami stopped in front of the desk.

"Well," she said exaggeratedly, "I just don't have a _clue_ where they are! Darn it, they're just too good at hiding! I guess I'll have to look somewhere else!"

There was a moment before she knelt and looked under the desk.

"Do you really think I'm that dumb?" she muttered. "This is the worst hiding place. Why didn't you split up?"

"Because we hate being alone," Luffy pointed out.

"Oh, right," Nami said. "Look, you guys are taking a bath one way or another. If we have to turn this into a catch-the-werewolves game, that's what we're gonna do."

"We're kinda stuck," Usopp said quietly.

Nami pulled Usopp out, causing the others to pop out from under the desk with surprising force. They landed around the library and slowly got up, getting ready to run.

"Oh, Sanji-_kun_ . . ." Nami said sweetly.

Sanji froze. "Y-Yes, Nami-_swan_, my dear?" he said nervously.

"Wanna make a deal?"

"A deal?"

Nami smiled. "If you come with me right now and let the others give you a bath without too much of a fight, I will _personally_ scratch you behind the ears."

Sanji hesitated, twitching.

"For ten minutes straight."

Sanji melted.

"Sanji's been taken!" Usopp screeched as the cook followed Nami up the ladder.

"Sorry, but this is for love!" Sanji called over his shoulder, his tail curled up at the thought of the reward after the bath.

"You three have two minutes max to relocate," Nami called as she and Sanji vanished through the hatch.

Luffy, Zoro, and Usopp glanced at each other and waited until Nami and Sanji were far enough away before bolting for the ladder.

* * *

"Remember, cooperate or the deal's off," Nami said, pushing Sanji into the bathroom. "I'm going to get the others."

She left and Sanji nervously eyed Franky, Chopper, and Brook, waiting by the warm, soapy bathwater.

"You know, maybe I should rethink this," he mumbled, backing up a step.

"Nope," Chopper said cheerfully. He turned big, grabbed Sanji, and started forcefully undressing him.

"Cut it out," Sanji snapped, squirming. Soon enough he was left only in his boxers, which he slid off. He looked at the bath apprehensively.

"You used to bathe every day, didn't you?" Franky asked.

"Preferences change," Sanji mumbled.

Brook picked him up with surprising ease and threw him into the bathwater.

"No more stalling," he said cheerfully. "Gentlemen, ready your brushes!"

Sanji crossed his arms grumpily as the three started scrubbing at him.

"Not so rough," he muttered, shifting.

Not long after they'd started, Nami returned, pushing Luffy in and leaving again.

"What'd she promise _you_?" Franky asked as Luffy reluctantly started stripping.

"Don't tell me my precious Nami-_swan_ is going to scratch _your_ ears, too," Sanji moaned.

"She offered, but I said no," Luffy mumbled, setting aside his hat and eyeing the bathwater with a pout. "So she said Sanji would make me extra meat tonight."

"I will do anything Nami-_swan_ asks of me," Sanji declared. "Baths notwithstanding."

Chopper picked up Luffy and dropped him into the water. Luffy whined loudly in complaint but calmed down a bit when he started playing with the bubbles.

* * *

"Zoro."

Nami had found Zoro and Usopp yet again. This time they were hiding in the aquarium room.

Zoro twitched. "What kind of deal?" he grumbled.

Nami smirked. "Wanna accept an ear rub?"

"Tempting," Zoro admitted. "But no thanks."

"That's what I thought. So how about an extra bottle of booze all to yourself at dinner, _plus_ a five-minute ear rub?"

Zoro hesitated. "I'm gonna have to take this bath one way or another, aren't I?"

"Yup."

"Deal," Zoro said. He glanced back at Usopp. "Uh, you should come too. Trust me, you don't wanna be alone."

Usopp struck a pose and snorted proudly. "Please. As if the great Usopp could be affected by not having a companion!"

Zoro sighed. "Suit yourself, idiot," he muttered, and reluctantly followed Nami.

A minute after they left, Usopp's tail drooped.

"Oh, no," he mumbled as crushing sadness and loneliness began to overcome him.

* * *

Sanji was just getting dressed when Nami came in, pushing Zoro through the door.

"Nami-_swan_, about that deal . . ." he said hopefully.

"Just a minute, Sanji-_kun_," she said, turning away as Zoro started undressing. She glanced at the three scrubbers. "How're they doing?"

"They're fairly docile," Brook said, giving her a thumbs-up. "They haven't splashed us."

"We can do that?" Luffy exclaimed. He immediately splashed Chopper.

"Do that again and the deal's off," Nami snapped.

"So Usopp's alone in the aquarium room," Zoro said as he jumped into the bath with Luffy, flinching when he hit the water.

"What? Why?" Sanji exclaimed.

"He thought he could handle it," Zoro said, rolling his eyes and wincing as Chopper started scrubbing his hair. "Nami, go get him already."

"No way," Nami said. "He didn't come when he should have. I think I'll let him suffer for a bit."

"You're cruel," Luffy whispered in awe.

"What else is new?"

She hung around outside the bathroom door for about fifteen minutes, finally going back to the aquarium room as Zoro climbed out of the bathtub and shook himself off.

"Again, do you have to do that?" Franky muttered.

* * *

As Nami entered the room, she heard something and looked around.

"Usopp?" she said softly.

She spotted him lying on the cushions by the tank, clutching a pillow and crying quietly.

"Usopp," she said, feeling a twinge of guilt for leaving him alone for so long. She approached him and cleared her throat to get his attention. "Hey."

Usopp looked up at her, smiled in relief, and abandoned his pillow as he leapt up from the bench and hugged her tightly.

"N-Nami," he sobbed. "I was so lonely . . ."

"Get off me, you smell bad," she snapped. He backed off, wiping away the last of his tears.

"Will you come up to the bath now?" she asked, folding her arms. "I'll scratch your ears, and the others are up there."

Usopp perked up.

"Yeah," he said, though still reluctant at the thought of a bath. He slowly followed her out.

* * *

Zoro was just leaving when Nami returned with Usopp in tow.

"Don't ever leave me alone again," Usopp said desperately when he saw Zoro.

Zoro stared at him. "I warned you, didn't I?"

Usopp looked down. ". . . Maybe, yeah . . ."

Zoro rolled his eyes. "Go get it over with."

Usopp slowly got off his clothes and climbed into the bath.

* * *

"Ah, Nami-_swan_, that was heaven on earth," Sanji sighed, still in a state of bliss from his earlier reward. The crew was at dinner.

"Yeah, it was okay," Zoro mumbled.

"Thank you," Usopp said quietly.

Luffy was too busy enjoying his extra meat to say anything. Sanji scowled at Zoro and Usopp, for of course only _he_ should have the pleasure of Nami-_swan_'s fingers behind his ears.

"This would be easier if you guys just cooperated in the first place," Nami muttered.

Robin smiled but said nothing.


	50. The Adventure in Frozen Time

**dragoscilvio requested an ADVENTURE with WW Zoro and Vampire Sanji! **

**By the way, the two antagonists have Australian accents. **

**Non-humans: WW Zoro, Vampire Sanji **

* * *

"Again? Do you ever get tired of this game?"

Zoro dropped the stick in front of Sanji, sat, and waited, his tail thumping on the sand. Sanji sighed, picked it up, and heaved it down the beach. Zoro darted after it.

The two were hanging out while Zoro was transformed. The island seemed uninhabited; it was covered in woods and a steep hill on side opposite where they'd docked. The crew slept peacefully in the cabin while Sanji played fetch with Zoro.

Zoro returned and dropped the stick in front of Sanji again, panting happily. Sanji rolled his eyes, picked it up, and pretended to throw it. Zoro turned and ran, but slowed, turned back to Sanji, and growled. Sanji grinned and held up the stick, still in his hand, and Zoro bounded towards him again, headbutting him in the gut and pinning him to the ground.

"Okay, get off me, you damn mutt," Sanji muttered. "Fine, I'm sorry, just get your stupid paws off."

Zoro released him and Sanji sat up, glowering at him.

And suddenly the owl hooting faintly in the forest ceased its cries. Sanji and Zoro glanced up to the woods, feeling a sudden chill.

Zoro growled.

"Yeah, something's not right," Sanji muttered, standing. "I'm going to get the oth—Chopper and Brook. Stay."

Zoro sat and waited as Sanji ran to the ship and entered the men's cabin, shutting the door as quietly as possible.

"Guys!" he hissed. "There's something going on! Get up!"

No one stirred. Sanji frowned and glanced around. None of them seemed to be moving—of course, they should have been asleep, so this was less alarming than it would have been if they also didn't appear to be breathing.

Sanji listened carefully, but not a whisper of breath or snores met his sharp ears . . . until he caught the sound at last and turned towards the source.

Chopper was breathing peacefully, fast asleep.

"Chopper!" Sanji said, not bothering to lower his voice this time. He hurried to him and shook him gently. "Get up! Emergency!"

Chopper sleepily sat up. "What?" he mumbled.

"No one's moving," Sanji said, looking around. "I dunno what's wrong with them, but . . ."

Chopper, now wide awake, leapt out of bed and began checking everyone over.

"This is weird," he murmured.

"What's weird?"

Chopper and Sanji jumped as Brook sat up in bed.

"Don't mind me, continue," he said cheerfully.

"Oh, you're awake," Chopper said. "Anyway, no one seems to be breathing, or have a heartbeat or pulse, but look . . ."

Luffy's mouth was in an unnatural position, as if he'd frozen in place in the middle of a snore. Usopp's mouth was the same. Franky's hand was frozen on his head as if he'd been scratching his head in his sleep.

"It's like they've been frozen," Chopper said softly. "They aren't waking up."

Sanji gritted his teeth and hurried outside. He came back a minute later. "The ladies are the same way. Come on, let's go meet up with wolf-boy outside. Can't leave him alone for too long."

They headed out and met up with Zoro on the beach. His tail thumped happily and he nuzzled his head against Brook and Chopper.

"Good evening to you too, Zoro-_san_," Brook said. "Sanji-_san_, status report?"

"We were playing fetch when an owl stopped hooting like it'd been muted," Sanji said. "We felt some kind of chill . . ."

"The wind's not blowing," Chopper whispered.

"It's almost like time has stopped," Brook mused, looking at the waves, which had stopped lapping against the shore and stood frozen in their splashing.

"Y'know, that doesn't sound too farfetched," Sanji murmured.

"Then why weren't we affected?" Brook asked.

Sanji glanced around. "Could it be . . . the only things frozen, besides nature, are humans and animals?"

Chopper raised a hoof.

"None of us are full humans or animals," Sanji explained, and Chopper lowered his hoof. "You and wolf-boy are half-animal, half-human, and Brook, you and I are high-functioning zombies."

Brook huffed indignantly.

_Human?_ Zoro growled, picking up on the word.

"Not now, Zoro," Chopper said soothingly. "What caused all this?"

"Dunno . . . but look," Sanji said, pointing out to the ocean. The waves just beyond the ship were still moving normally, but as they watched, they slowed down and froze just like the ones at the shore.

"I see a light," Brook said. The others followed his gaze up to the top of that steep hill, where a flickering glow rested, like someone had a fire going.

"Couldn't be . . ." Chopper murmured. "Maybe . . . if someone up there did something . . ."

"Seems like it," Sanji muttered. "That light's not going out."

"So if we investigate up there, we could possibly find the source of this and return everything to normal?" Brook exclaimed.

"Yeah," Sanji said.

"Excellent! You all have fun, I'm staying here." Brook took a guard stance.

"Sounds good," Sanji said amiably. "If something somehow comes along, you'll need to protect the others. Hey, Chopper, wolf-boy, let's go."

Chopper and Zoro followed Sanji into the woods as Brook saluted.

* * *

_I'm hungry._

Chopper translated for Zoro and Sanji smacked his forehead. "Damn it, should've gotten some meat from the ship . . ." His stomach gurgled. "And I should've gotten some blood . . ."

He sighed. "We'll find a rabbit or something and skin it. You can handle raw meat, right, wolf-boy?"

Zoro growled in appreciation.

"Of course you can, savage. Come on."

They found a jackrabbit frozen mid-leap. Sanji plucked it out of its place, found a sharp stick, killed it, and skinned it. Chopper turned away while Zoro stared, salivating.

"Here you go, wolf-boy," Sanji muttered, tossing the meat to Zoro, who caught most of it in his mouth and crouched down, devouring it.

A rustling in the bushes alerted them to something's presence. The three snapped their heads towards the source. Zoro growled and Sanji and Chopper stood.

"There shouldn't be anything moving, right?" Chopper whispered. "Unless . . . there's another vampire, or werewolf . . ."

The rustling grew louder. The trio tensed.

Out of the bushes stepped a liger-bear. It looked around at them, growled, and hunched its shoulders as if ready to attack.

"Oh, it's a liger-bear," Chopper said. "They don't attack if we don't look like we're gonna hurt them."

And sure enough, the liger-bear soon relaxed and looked around at them with curious eyes. It eyed the rabbit between Zoro's paws, and he growled defensively.

"Wait, so . . ." Sanji muttered. "If it's not a human, but it's not an animal . . . what the hell _is_ this thing?"

Chopper shrugged as the liger-bear padded towards the meat. Zoro growled and nudged it away.

"So it's a carnivore?" Sanji muttered.

The liger-bear gave up, nudged Zoro in a friendly way, and turned to its left to munch on some leaves.

"It eats plants, too?!" Sanji yelled angrily.

* * *

The liger-bear eventually left them alone and the group was on their way. They walked on for a while more before Sanji frowned and glanced down.

"Chopper?" Sanji said, noticing his pace had changed. "You okay?"

". . . Sleepy," Chopper mumbled. Sanji knelt and caught him before he fell face-first into the dirt.

"I gotcha," he murmured. Chopper promptly fell asleep in Sanji's arms.

_I can take him._

Sanji glanced at Zoro. "You know I can't understand you."

Zoro looked at Chopper and shifted to indicate his back.

"You wanna take him?" Sanji said in surprise. "Okay. Hold on a sec."

He went into the bushes and came back with some vines from a common vetch. He used these to safely rope Chopper onto Zoro's back, where he slept peacefully.

"Alright, wolf-boy, onwards," he muttered. Zoro followed him, glancing back occasionally to make sure Chopper was still there.

* * *

It took them nearly an hour, but they reached the bottom of the steep hill. Looking up, it seemed like there were hardly any places to grab hold of.

"I have an idea," Sanji murmured. "Wait here. I'll be back soon, I promise."

Zoro waited. Sanji crouched down and, in a puff of smoke, transformed into a bat. Zoro jumped and sniffed suspiciously.

_It's me_, Sanji squeaked. _I'll fly up there._

In several swooping and circling motions, Sanji elevated himself up the hill, occasionally squeaking on instinct to make sure he wouldn't crash into anything.

At the top he landed awkwardly and hobbled a bit. Narrowing his eyes and with a faint squeak, he was able to make out a campfire in the middle of some kind of magic circle. Two hooded figures stood opposite each other as the circle glowed.

"Oi," one of them said, leaning over. "A bat."

The other one glanced behind, saw Sanji, and scoffed. "What, you afraid of bats? Look at 'im. So tiny, can't do a thing."

"I know that, idiot, I ain't scared of bats," the first one snapped. "This spell's supposed to freeze everything, ain't it? Why didn't that thing freeze—holy mackerel!"

They jumped in fright as Sanji transformed back into his normal form.

"I'll explain that if you two would be kind enough to explain what the _hell's_ going on," Sanji said, straightening up.

"A—A monster!" the second hooded figure cried. "Begone, you!"

"You're both human," Sanji observed. "But obviously you know magic. What's the point of freezing everything, huh?"

The first hooded figure chuckled. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

"I would," Sanji said. "Now listen here, you two, I'm not in the damn mood for games. Here's a fun fact: I'm a vampire." He grinned, showing his pointy teeth. "Either you tell me what the hell and why the hell, or I'll drain one of you of your blood and the other gets sacrificed to my werewolf friend down there."

"He's bluffin'!" the second figure exclaimed. "Oi, you gotta be bluffin'!"

Sanji cleared his throat and looked at the second figure. "Stay still."

The figure froze and stared at Sanji in fear as he slowly approached, mouth parting, staring hungrily—

"Alright, al_right_, cut it out, you're not bluffin'!" the second figure screamed.

A howl came from the bottom of the hill.

"Hold your horses, wolf-boy!" Sanji called.

"And there really is a werewolf," the first figure whispered as Sanji released his hold upon the second figure.

"We'll do anything you want," the second figure whimpered.

Sanji scowled. "I told you, what the hell did you do and why?"

"We, well, er, we froze time," the first figure whispered.

"Great. Why?"

"Don't you see?" the second figure exclaimed. "If we freeze time, we'll rule the world!"

Sanji stared at him. "That's stupid."

"What?"

"You're stupid," Sanji said. "How can you rule the world if all your subjects are frozen?"

The figures froze in place as if hit by their own spell.

"You know, he's got a right point there," the first one whispered.

"Damn right I do," Sanji muttered. "And now, if you don't mind, I'm feeling thirsty . . ."

"What?!" the second figure screamed.

"Calm down, dumbass, I'm not going to kill you," Sanji said, rolling his eyes. "Here's the deal. You two break the spell, I take a small tip for wasting time here, and we all head home and live happily ever after."

"We don't have a home," the first figure said quietly.

"Not my problem. You can live here, or go back to where you came from. Now break the damn spell before I decide to _really_ throw you off to the werewolf."

Another howl floated up.

"Shut it, you damn stray, I'm almost done, just a bit longer!" Sanji yelled.

The magicians quickly kicked away the magic circle (it was made of chalk, after all), and stared at Sanji nervously. He forced one of them to hold still and took a bit of blood. After doing the same to the other, he bid them farewell with a smile and transformed into a bat, circling and gliding down the hill.

He landed and transformed back, straightening up.

_What happened?_ Zoro growled. _I heard humans._

"Still can't understand you," Sanji said. "Don't worry, wolf-boy, everything's taken care of. Let's go back."

And they set off, Chopper still asleep on Zoro's back.

* * *

When morning dawned, the others were surprised to find Zoro, Sanji, Chopper, and Brook already fast asleep.

"Hey . . ." Luffy said, shaking Sanji. "Breakfast . . . Sanji? Food . . ."

Sanji mumbled something and sat up. "Oh, morning's here, finally," he muttered. He got up and started to work on breakfast.

"You look exhausted," Luffy said cheerfully. "Did Zoro keep you that busy?"

Sanji grunted. "Wasn't just him, but yeah. Get the others in here."

Luffy ran and dragged the others to the kitchen. He set Chopper, still sleeping, in his chair. Chopper woke up to the smell of eggs frying and looked around.

"Oh!" he exclaimed. "You guys are back to normal!"

The others frowned at him.

"Normal?" Usopp said. "What? What happened? Did something happen?"

"It doesn't matter," Sanji said reassuringly, bringing the pan to the table. "Everything's fine now, so don't worry about it. Who wants eggs?"

"Seriously," Franky said. "If something happened, I kinda wanna—"

Sanji shut him up by shoving a bottle of cola at him, which Franky immediately opened and gulped down.

* * *

Around lunchtime, as Sanji was studying his recipe book, Zoro came wandering in, his hair disheveled and his tail a mess. He and Sanji stared at each other and for a minute neither said anything.

And then Sanji sighed. "I liked you better as a dog."

Zoro growled.


	51. Chocolate

**Anon and dragoscilvio requested WW Zoro getting sick from chocolate**

**Non-humans: WW Zoro**

* * *

Zoro lounged by himself while the others enjoyed some chocolate cake. Chopper had suddenly had the inexplicable desire to try making some, and with Sanji's help (doing most of the work), the cake was complete.

"Zoro?"

Zoro glanced up as Chopper approached him tentatively, holding a plate with a cake slice and a fork.

"Do you wanna try some?"

Zoro sighed. "Chopper, you know I don't like sweet . . ."

He trailed off when he saw the little reindeer's hopeful expression.

"Sure," he said. He took the plate and made a show of taking a bite. As he swallowed, he shuddered; it was far too sweet.

"It's good," he said, forcing a smile. Chopper's face lit up.

"Your—Your compliment doesn't make me happy at all!" he cried, dancing in place. He went away, saying, "You can have the rest, Zoro!"

Zoro stared at the rest of his slice, sighed, and lifted another bite to his mouth.

* * *

He was bringing the plate to the kitchen to dump in the sink when he was hit with sudden pain. He froze and winced.

"What, had too much cake?" Sanji muttered, glancing at him. "You don't even like sweets, right?"

Zoro grunted in response as his guts began twisting themselves around and around. He groaned, doubled over, and sank to his knees.

"Hey, wait, did you actually eat too much?" Sanji said in alarm.

When the pain subsided, Zoro took the opportunity to drag himself out of the kitchen and make a break for the bathroom.

* * *

"How long has he been in there?" Luffy asked, concernedly staring at the bathroom door. The whole crew was waiting outside as Zoro emptied his insides into the toilet.

"An hour, maybe more," Usopp muttered, wincing as, yet again, the sound of hurling came from inside.

"Is this because of the cake?" Chopper whimpered. "Was it bad?"

"We're fine," Nami pointed out. "Maybe Zoro was allergic to something . . ."

Robin raised an eyebrow. "Isn't chocolate poisonous to dogs?"

"Oh, crap!" Usopp exclaimed.

Chopper began to cry. "I . . . I didn't realize! And I gave him some cake . . ."

"It's okay, it's not your fault," Luffy said. "You can take care of Zoro once he's done puking, so does that make up for it?"

"I guess," Chopper said.

"Is he done?" Franky asked. The bathroom had gone silent.

Sanji opened the door and they found Zoro collapsed by the toilet, breathing shallowly and trembling. Chopper hurried forward, turned big, and picked him up.

"Sanji, can you make something for him?" he asked. "Broth would be good. Nothing too strong."

"On it," Sanji said, rolling up his sleeves as he headed for the kitchen.

"He'll be alright, won't he?" Brook asked as Chopper carried him off.

"He's Zoro," Luffy said. "Of course he'll be fine."

* * *

Zoro woke up in the infirmary with a fierce headache and the feeling of emptiness.

"Water," he croaked. A glass of water was pushed to his lips and he weakly took it and drank some.

His vision focused and he saw Chopper next to the bed.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Head," Zoro muttered. "Stomach . . . feels weird."

Chopper nodded. "Zoro . . . Zoro, I'm really sorry, it was the chocolate that made you sick, I shouldn't have asked you to try the cake—"

"'s fine," Zoro mumbled. He spotted a bowl on the desk and gestured to it.

"Can you try some?" Chopper asked. "It's chicken broth."

He brought over the bowl and Zoro slowly took a sip.

"Tastes okay," he mumbled. He slowly drank the rest as Chopper kept a watchful eye on him.

"Sleep now," he mumbled. Chopper took the bowl and the swordsman rolled over and went back to sleep.

The crew was relieved when Chopper told them Zoro would make a full recovery. Of course, he wasn't allowed to have chocolate anymore.

* * *

**I know there are other things that make dogs ill, but chocolate is one of the more toxic/potent ones, so that's the only thing that really affects werewolves in this story. Maybe the other things just cause a stomachache if eaten too much.**


	52. Counting

**dragoscilvio requested arithmomania with vampires (counting obsession/compulsion)**

**Non-humans: Vampire Sanji, Vampire Zoro, Vampire Luffy, Vampire Robin, Vampire Usopp**

* * *

Luffy, Zoro, Usopp, Sanji, and Robin looked up as Nami came out of her room. The vampires were hanging out on the lawn with a few bottles of alcohol under the moon.

"Morning, Nami!" Luffy exclaimed. "I mean . . . evening? Wait, is it past midnight?"

"Good evening, Nami," Robin said with a smile.

"Hi," Nami said. "I couldn't sleep, so I just thought I'd come and hang out with you guys for a while."

"Don't suppose you could spare some blood?" Zoro asked, eyeing her neck.

"Don't be so rude!" Sanji hissed, his eyes flaring red as he kicked Zoro upside the head. Zoro glared at him but didn't bother retorting.

"Aw, c'mon," Luffy whined. "Chopper only has so many blood packs, and Usopp keeps taking them . . ."

"I can't help it if I don't like biting into someone!" Usopp snapped, though he too kept throwing glances at Nami's neck.

Nami sighed. "I know I'm basically the only human on this ship nowadays, and I get it, you guys are thirsty. We'll be at a town in a couple days. Think you can hold out 'til then?"

They brightened.

"I'll be real thirsty by then, but sure," Luffy said, grinning. "I haven't had a drink for a couple days already . . ."

"Not to mention that your blood is expensive," Robin remarked.

Nami smirked. "Damn right it is."

"My debt's already sky-high," Zoro muttered. "Just give me some. I _could_ make you hold still if I had to."

"Yeah, that's why I brought these," Nami said. She drew out a chain around her neck, which displayed a crucifix, the Star of David, and the Star and Crescent of Islam.

The vampires flinched and scooted backwards.

"N-Nami, I think that's what's called 'overkill,'" Usopp mumbled nervously.

Nami glared at Zoro and threateningly held the symbols closer to him. "Make threats like that again and these are going straight on your skin."

"Okay, got it, just put those away!" Zoro yelled.

Nami stowed away the religious symbols as Sanji kicked Zoro again for threatening her. Nami waited until they'd calmed down to ask something.

"I was wondering," she said. "I read something interesting about vampires the other day."

The five looked up at her curiously.

"According to myths, vampires have an obsession with counting," she said. "Is that true?"

They looked a bit uncomfortable.

"I . . . wouldn't say _obsession_," Zoro mumbled.

"It's kind of a compulsion, but it's not terribly strong," Robin added.

"Oh?" Nami said, interested.

Sanji looked up in thought. "I get this urge to count quite a lot, but I can ignore it if something more important is happening, like feeding, or fighting, or cooking."

"So it wouldn't distract you from victimizing someone," Nami said.

They nodded.

Usopp sighed. "Sometimes if I'm mixing up new weapons, I'll start counting the bubbles in the solution without realizing it for a while . . ."

"I count the words or letters on a page when I'm reading," Robin said thoughtfully.

"I like counting my fingers and toes, and blades of grass," Luffy said cheerfully.

"Sometimes I get an urge to count the grains of salt in a teaspoon," Sanji said. "I have to stop and remind myself that it'd be nigh impossible."

"I like the number three," Zoro remarked.

"I like seven," Sanji said. "Not sure why."

"Eight's a good number," Usopp said, stretching.

"I like ten," Luffy said. "It's the best. What about you, Robin?"

Robin smiled. "Four."

They were silent for a moment.

"Well, this was fun and all, but I'm off to bed," Nami said quickly, standing. "See you whenever. And make sure to keep it down."

She headed back to her room. The door slammed shut.

Luffy sighed. "I'm so thirsty . . ."

Usopp lay on his back and started counting the stars.


	53. Switch it Up

**MetaWolf56 and Ashlielle requested WW Sanji and Vampire Zoro~**

**Non-humans: WW Sanji, Vampire Zoro**

* * *

"Why couldn't _I_ be a vampire?"

Zoro stared at Sanji as the werewolf glowered at him. The vampire had been calmly drinking in the kitchen when Sanji had come in, muttering about not being able to sleep and needing a drink. The werewolf's cheeks were currently tinged pink from the booze.

"Come again?" Zoro muttered.

Sanji's tail twitched. "I hate being a werewolf. I keep undercooking the meat because I feel like it's done when that's only my preference for rare meat coming out, I keep getting distracted by stupid squirrels and sticks—and let me tell you, those idiots are having way too much fun with that—"

Zoro took "those idiots" to mean "Luffy and Usopp."

"—I dressed absolutely _horridly_ the other day because I'm goddamn _colorblind_, but luckily my dear Nami-_swan_ was kind enough to point out my poor wardrobe choices—"

Zoro remembered Nami laughing out loud and pointing at Sanji's outfit, but he didn't say anything.

"—I can never get used to the stupid pain of transforming, _and_—" Sanji took another gulp of alcohol and slammed the glass back down. "—Ladies prefer vampires! They're supposed to be cool and mysterious loners, not a loser with a tail who can't be alone for fifteen minutes!"

Zoro scowled deeply at him. "Y'know what, asshole? How about you appreciate what you have?"

"And what's that?" Sanji snapped, his cheeks darker than before.

"You get to enjoy ear rubs and stomach rubs, right?" Zoro pointed out. "And even if the transformations are painful, you've got Chopper and Brook and me to keep you company in the night."

"And that's why I buy you so much booze now when I go shopping," Sanji muttered.

"Besides, do you think being a vampire is all sunshine and roses?" Zoro snapped. "Lemme tell you, it _sucks_, no pun intended."

Sanji sniggered anyway.

"Shut it. I hate not being able to enjoy the sun without slathering myself in gross lotion and wearing stupid sunglasses. I can't enjoy Sea King anymore. I'll be half-asleep next time we're attacked in the day—"

"Not much of a change from when you were human, you oaf."

Zoro scowled. "It's hard to get sleep during the day with this crew crashing and banging around all the time. I have to deal with these stupid blood cravings, and I can't help but look at our friends like they're pieces of meat."

He sighed. "The only good thing is I can still enjoy booze."

"You can transform, right?" Sanji said.

Zoro scowled. "I don't like cats, bats are weird, and toads are just gross. Going back to that thing about women—" he tossed another shot back. "—You don't see women falling all over _me_, right?"

"Who'd like _you_?" Sanji sneered, gulping down another glass of alcohol. "Brainless moss-head."

"Say that again and I'll force you out," Zoro snarled, his eyes flaring red.

"Of _my_ kitchen? No way," Sanji slurred, swaying in place.

"I bet some girls would find werewolves cute," Zoro said. "I mean, they'd have to be pretty weird, but maybe you can get one to scratch your ears."

Sanji hiccupped. "Hey . . . yeah! If they aren't . . . scared . . ."

He fell face-first into the counter, snoring. Zoro stood, grabbed his arm, and quite literally dragged him back to bed.

"I need a drink," he mumbled. "Wonder if Chopper has blood packs to spare . . ."


	54. Werewolf Nami

**kid requested WW Nami and Zantetsusken Reverse requested the part with money/silver!**

**Non-humans: WW Zoro, WW Luffy, WW Nami**

* * *

"I said _no_!"

Luffy continued trying to snap at Nami's dessert as she and Robin lounged on chairs on the stern. She held the plate this way and that as she tried to keep it out of reach.

"Go away or I'll raise your debt," she snapped.

"You take all our money no matter what, so that's kind of an empty threat," Usopp called. Nami glared daggers at him, and when she turned back, Luffy was about to grab her dessert.

She quickly moved it, but as she did so, her hand got in the way of Luffy's mouth and his teeth closed around her thumb.

"OW!"

Robin and Usopp glanced up as Luffy let go of Nami's hand, staring nervously at the bleeding wound. Nami slowly brought her hand to her face and examined the wound with a blank expression.

"Luffy."

Luffy gulped.

Nami sent him a scary glare and he flinched (as did Usopp, and he wasn't even on the receiving end). "You owe me _so_ much . . ." her eyes fluttered. "Money . . ."

Sanji came up to the deck as Nami fainted in her chair, her hands and dessert falling to the ground. The plate shattered.

"Nami-_swan_?!" Sanji cried. "What happened?!"

"I—I'm sorry," Luffy exclaimed frantically. "I didn't mean to—"

As Sanji turned on Luffy, demanding an explanation, Robin got up and carried Nami to the side of the ship, letting her head hang over.

"She's going to vomit when she wakes, right?" she asked Luffy, ignoring Sanji's worried questions.

Luffy nodded slowly.

"What. Did. You. _Do?!_" Sanji hissed at Luffy. Before Luffy could answer, Sanji hurried over to Nami and started rubbing her back. "Nami-_swan_, my sweet, please wake up, please be okay . . ."

A few seconds later Nami lifted her head, blinked, and heaved, emptying her lunch into the ocean. Robin and Sanji continued to rub her back until she pushed them away.

"This is a dream," she said, standing with shaky legs. Sanji gave her his arm for support. "I'm going to wake up in my bed any moment now."

She waited. Then she pinched herself.

"Okay," she muttered. "Okay, not a dream. In that case . . ."

Suddenly regaining her energy, she stormed over to Luffy, who straightened and bowed low, trembling.

"I'm very sorry!" he yelled.

Nami punched him and he fell to the deck. As the barrage of fists continued, Sanji murmured to Robin, "What happened?"

"Luffy accidentally . . . bit Nami," Robin said. "She's a werewolf now."

"WHAT?!" Sanji yelled. He ran over to Luffy and Nami and joined in Nami's attacks, kicking Luffy angrily.

Zoro came up to the stern, looked at the scene, and turned back, muttering, "I don't wanna know."

Usopp stared nervously at Nami and Sanji, reminding himself once again to never cross their paths.

* * *

"I was wondering what the commotion was about," Franky remarked. The crew was at dinner. Luffy was covered in bumps and bruises, though thanks to Chopper's treatment they were healing.

Nami's head was on the table. "I can't believe you, Luffy . . ."

"I'm really sorry," Luffy whispered.

"So you're gonna be hanging out with us on full moons," Zoro said. "It'll be nice to have more company."

Nami's head snapped up and she glared at him. He flinched and returned to his meal.

"I should kick you all over again for this, shitty rubber," Sanji snarled as he slammed Luffy's plate in front of him. "How _dare_ you injure my Nami-_swan_ and force her to be like you!"

"I know," Luffy mumbled, his head down. "I'm sorry."

* * *

The day of the full moon came around and Nami found herself bedridden.

"Need anything?" Robin asked softly.

Nami groaned. "Everything hurts . . . I'm tired . . ."

"I'll check on you later," Robin promised, quietly backing out of the room.

* * *

Nami stumbled out on deck as the sun set. Luffy and Zoro came out a minute later with Chopper and Brook.

They took their shirts off and Nami held up a hand. "At least wait until I go behind the mast," she snapped. "And no peeping!"

"We won't," Luffy and Zoro promised immediately. Chopper and Brook nodded and went to the bow to wait.

Once all three had stripped, they sat down and waited.

"It hurts, right?" Nami asked from the other side of the mast, bringing her legs up to her chest.

"Hurts like a bitch," Zoro said. "Especially the first time."

Nami let out a muffled scream and buried her face in her knees.

When the full moon had risen, terrible pain struck their bodies. Nami cried out loud as her frame was wracked with pain. The last thing she saw before blacking out was orange fur sprouting on her limbs.

Chopper and Brook came around to find the werewolves transformed. Nami's wolf form had sleek orange hair and bright yellow eyes. Her body was slightly smaller than Luffy's and Zoro's. The two males sniffed her and she snapped at them suspiciously, backing away with her tail between her legs.

"Hi," Chopper said, coming around. Luffy and Zoro turned happily, but Nami tucked her tail in farther and backed up again.

_Hi_, Luffy said happily. _Chopper, Brook, who's this?_

_Who you?_ Nami growled, her ears flat on her head. _Name . . . don't know? _

Chopper translated for Brook. "It's okay," he said gently to Nami. He let her sniff him and Brook knelt so she could sniff him as well. "We're your friends."

Nami relaxed a bit when she sensed no hostility.

"This is Luffy, and this is Zoro," Chopper said, pointing to the werewolves. "I'm Chopper. This is Brook."

"Nice to meet you," Brook said cheerfully. Nami eyed him suspiciously.

"Your name is Nami," Chopper said slowly.

_Nami . . ._

"Luffy, Zoro, can you guys be friends with her?" Chopper asked gently.

Luffy let out a happy bark and bounded up to Nami, who stiffened and growled. Luffy backed away and waited until she was calm again before padding forward and sniffing her.

_New friend,_ he said happily.

Zoro slowly approached her and, after it was clear she would hold still, sniffed her as well.

He didn't say anything, but backed up a step and nodded to her. She eyed him for a moment.

_Let's play, let's play,_ Luffy said happily, turning in circles.

_Play?_ Nami asked curiously.

_Fetch, or tag,_ Zoro said.

_Tag_, Luffy insisted.

* * *

As the sun began to rise, Chopper and Brook hurried inside. When the werewolves transformed back, they sat up slowly and looked around before Nami shrieked and Luffy and Zoro both covered their eyes hurriedly as she hurried to grab her clothes.

"Everything hurts again," she groaned when she came back out with her clothes on, Luffy and Zoro dressed as well. Nami twisted around to see her smooth orange tail coming out from under her skirt, though to her it looked blonde.

"Are you okay?" Luffy asked.

Nami ignored him and went to her room for some rest.

* * *

When she came down for lunch, some of the crew couldn't help but stare at her new tail and yellow eyes.

"Say one word and I'll bite one of _you_," she snapped, and they averted their eyes.

"Nami-_swan_, an energy-replenishing meal just for you, after your difficult night with those two," Sanji said graciously, setting down Nami's food.

"Mm," Nami mumbled, picking at it. It took her longer than usual to finish and she excused herself when she was done.

As soon as she left, Sanji glared daggers at Luffy.

"How many times do I have to say sorry before it counts?" Luffy exclaimed.

* * *

"I think . . . this outfit?"

Nami held up a shirt and skirt to Robin. They were out shopping. Nami, since she couldn't hide her tail in her skirt like Zoro and Luffy could with their pants, was wearing a headband with animal ears on it, in order to make it look like she was wearing a costume. The ensemble drew catcalls and general harassment, but she decked anyone who was close enough and Robin took care of the ones who were farther away.

Robin raised an eyebrow. "The shirt is red and the skirt is pink. Are you sure . . . ?"

Nami groaned and threw them back on the shelves. "I can't tell what anything is . . . I'm so glad you're here, big sis . . ."

Robin smiled kindly.

"What're you supposed to be, girlie? A kitty-cat?" Someone asked, leering at her as they passed. "Whatever it is, you look cute as all get-out!"

Nami clocked him and he fell to the ground.

"I'm buying pants for off the ship," she said.

* * *

As Nami and Robin walked through the streets, Nami with new jeans which she'd tucked her tail into, Nami stopped and sniffed the air.

"Something catch your nose?" Robin asked.

"Ssh," Nami hissed, as if quiet would help her sense of smell. She continued sniffing, and then her eyes lit up.

"I smell money!" she exclaimed. Someone passed by them with a bulging pocket and she whipped around, staring at it. "In that pocket . . . !"

Robin waited while Nami went to steal the wallet. Thief that she was, she slipped the wallet out without the owner's noticing and started shaking out the cash.

"Ten, twenty, thirty . . ." she murmured. Something hard hit her hand and she cried out in pain.

"What is it?" Robin asked in alarm.

Nami rubbed her sizzling palm, which was cooling down quickly. "What the . . . something burned me!"

Robin spotted something on the ground, knelt, and picked it up. "Could this be it?"

It was a silver coin.

Nami began to cry. "I can't even touch silver . . . ?"

Robin put the coin back in the wallet and used her power to slip it back into the owner's pocket (they hadn't gone too far).

* * *

Luffy quietly entered the kitchen and shut the door behind him. Sanji looked up and scowled. "What do you want? Don't forget I'm still holding a grudge against you for what you did to my Nami-_swan_, so don't expect any favors."

"This is about that," Luffy said. "Sanji, I need your help . . ."

Sanji scowled. "Didn't I _just_ say—"

"It's for Nami."

". . . Go on."

* * *

Nami was resting on her bed, moping over her transition into lycanthropy, when there was a knock at the door. She frowned. Robin never knocked, so . . .

She sniffed and detected a faint scent of rubber. She sighed. "What do you want, Luffy?" she called.

The door was pushed open and Luffy came in holding a huge slice of orange cake. Nami perked up and eyed it as he set it in front of her.

"What's this about?" she asked, looking up at him. "I'm surprised you didn't eat this on the way. Did Sanji-_kun_ send you?"

Luffy looked at the ground and kicked. "I wanted to eat it, but it's for you," he mumbled. "I'm really sorry about biting you, and I know you're probably still mad, and you've been really upset about it, so I asked Sanji to help me make a peace offering for you . . ."

Nami took this to mean that Sanji had made the cake while Luffy supervised.

". . . So can you forgive me? Please?" Luffy asked hopefully, looking up at her with the face of a kicked puppy.

Nami softened, got up, and hugged him. "Yeah, you dope," she mumbled. "I forgive you."

He grinned and hugged her back. "Yes! Thank you!"

She sat back down and started on the cake. "It's good. Tell Sanji-_kun_—I mean, you did a good job."

Luffy grinned again. "Want me to scratch your ears when you're done?"

". . . Yes."


	55. Period

**This chapter contains blunt discussions of menstruation and reproduction, so if you're uncomfortable with that, feel free to skip this one.**

**Non-humans: WW Zoro, WW Luffy, WW Nami**

* * *

". . . Think I should talk to Chopper?" Nami asked, running a hand over her lower abdomen.

Robin nodded. "But you know what the first thing he'll ask is."

Nami sighed. "I'll stop him before he can." She headed out the door.

* * *

"Chopper?"

Chopper looked up as Nami came in, shutting the door behind her. "Nami?"

"I need a checkup," she said.

"What's wrong?"

She glanced at her stomach. "I haven't had my period for three months."

"Have you had int—?"

"I'm not pregnant," she said, cutting him off.

"Hm . . ." Chopper jumped off his chair. "Can you lie down? This might get a bit uncomfortable."

"I'll deal," Nami said, lying down on the bed.

* * *

"You're infertile."

Nami stared at Chopper.

"But it's weird," Chopper said worriedly. "You're way too young for menopause, and in any case you haven't had any of the other symptoms, so I dunno what's going on . . ."

He glanced at her. "You said you've missed it for three months or so?"

Nami nodded. "Around the time I got . . ." she frowned. "Bitten."

Chopper gasped. "Maybe it's a werewolf thing?!"

"I'm going into town," she said, jumping up from the bed. "There was this creepy bookstore down the street from the port. Maybe they have books on werewolves. That _Supernatural Beings_ thing we have isn't very well-informed . . ."

She darted out the door, stopping by her room to grab her headband with the ears (in too much of a hurry to put on pants).

* * *

When Nami returned for lunch, throwing her headband aside, she was wearing a bright smile.

"So . . ." Chopper prompted her.

"According to the book I found, werewolves aren't capable of having kids," she said.

"Oh, really?" Zoro said interestedly. "Well, not like I was planning on settling down."

"Hm . . . that's too bad," Luffy said. "Oh well."

"Not . . . capable of . . . having kids?" Sanji asked in horror. "But . . . Nami-_swan_ . . . I wanted so much to start our own family . . . !"

Nami rolled her eyes, her tail twitching. "Get over yourself. _I_ wasn't planning on settling down with _you_."

Sanji groaned and hung his head as he served up the meal.

"Why are you so happy about this?" Robin asked.

"Because it means no more periods!" Nami exclaimed in delight.

As usual, Sanji and Usopp looked uncomfortable at the mention of menstruation, while the others were indifferent.

"What's a period?" Luffy asked.

Zoro smacked him. "How many times do we have to explain it?"

"Well . . . good for you, but . . ." Usopp shifted in his seat. "I thought . . . don't, like, all women want kids at some point in their life? Aren't you going to regret not being able to have kids some day?"

Sanji nodded. "And what if some man comes along? One who loves you very much? One who has blond hair and an excellent sense of fashion? What if you can't have children with me—I mean, him?"

Nami threw her spoon at Usopp and her fork at Sanji. The utensils struck their foreheads and they cried out in indignation.

"Don't make rude assumptions," she snapped. "My body, my rules."

"Sorry," Usopp mumbled, rubbing his forehead.

"We can always adopt," Sanji mused aloud, rubbing his forehead as well.

Nami threw her butter knife at him.

* * *

**Summary: Werewolves are infertile, but can still enjoy sexual intercourse if they're so inclined. Vampires are the same way.**


	56. It Was Kind of Obvious, Sanji

**What if Sanji was not as smart as he usually is? Loosely based on the tumblr post started by zzdigital and added on to by adriofthehead, paulichu, samarajournal, and espeoradar. **

**Non-humans: Vampire Sanji**

* * *

As Chopper came through the kitchen to his office, he spotted Sanji slathering sunscreen on his hands, face, and neck.

"Huh?" he said in surprise. "It's not that sunny out . . ."

"Oh," Sanji said, glancing up. "I think I might be getting allergies, or something . . . last time I tried going outside, I got burned right away." He held up his left hand, which had a faint burn mark on it. "I got out before it got bad, though."

"You need anything?"

"Nah." Sanji yawned. "Kinda sleepy, but I didn't sleep too much last night anyway . . ."

"Go to bed earlier tonight," Chopper ordered.

"Mm-hm," Sanji said noncommittally.

* * *

"Why are you still awake?"

Sanji looked up and saw Luffy staring at him. He frowned. "Aren't you supposed to be outside on watch? Not in the kitchen?"

"I was hungry. Why aren't you in bed?"

Sanji shrugged. "I took a long nap earlier. I'm just not real tired for some reason." He frowned. "I'm pretty thirsty, though . . ."

"Can I have food?"

"Sure, just a sec." Sanji glanced at Luffy, whose neck caught his eyes. He stared at it for a moment.

"Sanji? Is there something here?" Luffy started feeling around his neck and chest.

Sanji shook his head and said, "No, I just—dunno, zoned out a bit?"

"Food time," Luffy said insistently.

"Yeah, yeah."

* * *

"What're you doing, Sanji?"

Luffy and Usopp stared at him from inside the house. They were currently breaking in because they'd seen a tin of cookies from the window and wanted to steal them. Sanji had been trying to stop them, but while they'd made it inside, he'd been trapped outside, feeling the air above the threshold like there was a barrier.

"Can't—get in—" Sanji muttered, throwing his weight against the invisible barrier to no avail. "The hell is this? Some kind of wall?"

Luffy and Usopp glanced at each other.

"So, what you're saying is," Usopp said, "you can't stop us from stealing those cookies."

"Wait, you bastards!" Sanji roared, but it was too late.

* * *

Sanji put a hand to his head and groaned. He was so thirsty, he hadn't been sleeping right, and he couldn't go outside without putting on sunscreen.

"Am I sick?" he mumbled. He pulled out a small hand mirror and tried to examine himself, but his reflection wouldn't show up. He frowned and twisted the mirror this way and that, but it just wasn't there.

"Hey, Franky," he said distractedly as the cyborg wandered into the kitchen. "Do you think mirrors can stop working?"

"What?"

* * *

"I'm getting these weird cravings."

Chopper looked at Sanji curiously as the cook yawned, dark circles under his eyes. "Sanji, how have you been sleeping?"

"Badly, but that's not what I said. I've been craving something."

"What?"

Sanji frowned. "That's the weird thing. I dunno what. Something like . . . meat, or . . . copper . . . something red . . ."

"Have you tried eating anything?"

Sanji groaned. "My taste buds are shot. Everything tastes like shit right now."

"But—you should eat something anyway," Chopper insisted.

Sanji tried to stand up straight, but squinted as his vision blurred briefly and leaned against the counter again. "Fine." He shuffled to the fridge, opened it, and took out a small plate of leftover spaghetti with puttanesca sauce. It'd been resting in the fridge for a few days.

Chopper watched worriedly as Sanji grabbed a fork, lifted a forkful of pasta and sauce to his mouth, and took a bite. He shuddered and looked like he wanted to spit it out.

"It _burns_," he hissed through the sauce.

"Try to swallow," Chopper said, watching him nervously.

Sanji slowly swallowed. Almost immediately his eyes widened, he whipped around, and he vomited what little was in his stomach straight into the sink. Chopper winced as he dry-heaved several more times before collapsing.

"Okay," he said, coming around the counter. "You're definitely sick. To my office."

He turned big and dragged Sanji to the infirmary.

* * *

". . . What does he have?"

"I dunno. I want to wait until he's awake to examine him."

Luffy and Usopp were in Chopper's office, staring at Sanji intensely as if that would wake him up. It had been a few hours since he'd suddenly hurled and collapsed.

"Maybe he was allergic to the sauce?" Usopp said timidly.

As Sanji slowly woke up, he sat up weakly and looked around.

"Now do you . . ." he coughed weakly. "See . . . why I . . . can't eat anything?"

"I'm sorry," Chopper said quietly. "Can you let me examine you now?"

"Mm-hm," Sanji mumbled. There was a knock on the door and Nami came in. From her neck swung a necklace with a cross hanging from it.

"What's going on?" she asked. "Sanji-_kun_?"

Sanji spotted the cross, flinched, and backed away, pressing himself against the wall.

"Um . . . yeah, new necklace," she said, glancing at it. "What's up?"

"Can you . . . put that away?" Sanji asked timidly. "It . . . makes me nervous for some reason . . ."

Nami held it closer to him and he flinched and scrambled to get away again. She frowned and tucked it inside her shirt. He breathed a sigh of relief, and then her neck caught his eyes. He stared at it hungrily, transfixed—

"Not again," Nami sighed. She snapped her fingers in front of Sanji's face and he blinked, looking up at her.

"Sorry," he said quickly.

Luffy's eyes widened. "I got it!"

Everyone looked at him.

"I know what's going on with Sanji!"

"Spill, then," Sanji sighed.

"You're a vampire," Luffy said cheerfully.

Everyone glanced between Sanji and Luffy.

"What? It makes sense," Luffy said. "You keep staring at our necks, you're thirsty, you haven't been sleeping right, and you were scared of the cross."

Nami took out the cross again without Sanji's noticing and pushed it into Sanji's cheek. He let out a strangled scream as the audible sound of sizzling flesh reached their ears. Nami withdrew the cross and Sanji felt the spot. A small cross-shaped burn was on his face now.

"Well, Luffy, you're right," Nami said. "Would you look at the time, I have to be somewhere else!"

She ran out of the room.

Sanji groaned and buried his head in his hands. "In hindsight . . . it was obvious . . . but now my dear Nami-_swan_'s scared of me . . ."

"She'll get over it," Usopp said dismissively. "In the meantime, _I_ also have somewhere to be, completely coincidentally."

He too ran out, slamming the door behind him.

". . . So do you want some of my blood?" Luffy asked.

Sanji hesitantly nodded.

* * *

**Sanji got so sick with the sauce because it had garlic in it. With normal food, he would have just vomited after a while without the collapsing. Luckily he didn't get too much garlic in his system or he would have died.**

* * *

**Omake:**

". . . So . . ." Sanji handed the plate of spaghetti and sauce to Nami. "My dear, would you like the rest of this spaghetti and puttanesca?"

"What did you call me?!" Nami yelled, hitting him over the head.


	57. Anise 2

**phonenix requested WW Luffy getting into some anise, and I decided to include the others for fun~**

**Non-humans: WW Zoro, WW Luffy, WW Sanji, WW Usopp**

* * *

"Usopp! Look!"

Luffy grabbed his friend's overall strap and yanked him back.

"Ow! Luffy, what is it?" Usopp grumbled. Luffy pointed at something on the ground and Usopp followed his gaze to a patch of green leaves.

He frowned. "Isn't this that anise stuff that made Zoro and Sanji act weird before?"

Luffy grinned and nodded, his tail wagging. "Let's try it!"

Usopp backed up a step. "No way."

"But those two looked like they had fun before," Luffy said. "I wanna try! Come on, Usopp!"

Luffy threw himself face-first into the plants and inhaled deeply. He sighed happily and, after a moment, started rolling around.

"It smells good," he said, giggling. "Usopp . . . c'mon . . ."

"No way," Usopp repeated. "I'm staying right here. _Someone_ needs to drag you back when you start going crazy."

Luffy ignored him and continued rolling happily in the anise. After a while he leapt up with a big grin on his face.

"Woo-hoo!" he yelled, and started running around the area. He spotted his tail and turned in circles, trying to catch it, but he got dizzy and fell over, giggling to himself.

"There it is," Usopp said, slowly approaching Luffy. "Okay, just come quietly, it's time to go back to the ship—"

"Nooooo," Luffy said, giggling. "Nooooo, I don't wanna go back!"

"Luffy—"

Luffy, still on the ground, grabbed at Usopp's pants and yanked him down. Usopp fell face-first into the anise.

* * *

". . . I think they're over this way . . ."

Zoro and Sanji trekked through the woods, searching for Luffy and Usopp.

They heard giggling and suddenly Zoro was bowled over by a much-too-happy Luffy.

"Found them," he said, his voice muffled.

"Right," Sanji said.

"Zoro-Sanji-hi!" Luffy yelled. "What're-you-doing-here-do-you-wanna-play-with-us-we're-having-a-lot-of-fun-come-on—"

"Slow down," Zoro said, pushing Luffy off of him. "What's going on?"

Luffy ignored him and did a few backflips away. He lost his balance and fell on his head, giggling.

"He's more hyper than usual," Sanji remarked.

As Luffy lay on the ground, Zoro got up and went a little ways beyond him to find Usopp lying lazily in the anise. Usopp looked up at him and grinned.

"Hi, Zoro . . ." he said. "Your hair . . . it looks like grass . . . can I get the number of your gardener . . . ?"

He burst into uncontrollable giggles.

"Oh, they got into the anise," Sanji said, coming up behind Zoro.

"Sanji . . . your eyebrow's silly," Usopp said between giggle fits.

"Okay, both of you are coming back to the ship," Zoro said abruptly.

"Ship . . ." Usopp said. "Rhymes with . . ." he frowned. "What does it rhyme with? Lip, dip, zip, tip, pip, hip, gyp . . ." He giggled again. "Gyp . . . that's a funny word . . ."

"Back to the ship," Sanji ordered. But before he and Zoro could do anything, Luffy ran at them from behind, bowling them over and forcing all three of them face-first into the anise.

* * *

Robin and Franky surveyed the scene in front of them with amusement. Luffy was chasing his tail. Zoro, Usopp and Sanji were in the anise; Zoro was giggling to himself and Sanji was cuddling up to Usopp, who was flicking his own nose and laughing.

"So . . ." Franky said. "Back to Sunny?"

"Back to Sunny," Robin agreed. "Boys, it's time to go back."

Luffy ignored her, continuing his fruitless pursuit of his tail, while the three on the ground looked up.

"Back?" Zoro mumbled.

Robin sighed. A few hands sprouted out of the ground and tripped Luffy; he fell down, laughing. Franky went forward and picked up Luffy and Sanji, one in each arm. Robin made Usopp get up and threw his arm around her shoulder. She used a chain of arms to drag Zoro along the ground.

"Nooo . . . lemme go . . ." Luffy said, giggling as Franky walked. He struggled to get out of the iron grip to no avail.

Sanji sighed and snuggled into Franky's shoulder. "This feels nice . . ."

"Wow . . . Robin . . ." Usopp said, looking back at Zoro being dragged along. "You're . . . pretty _handy_ . . . get it? Handy . . ."

Robin smiled indulgently as she half-walked, half-dragged Usopp.

"How long are they gonna be like this?" Franky demanded, shifting his burdens.

Robin shrugged. "I'm sure they'll be back to normal by dinnertime."

* * *

The four werewolves were unceremoniously dumped in the men's quarters and the door was shut. A couple hours later, they came to themselves and left the room.

"You guys are idiots," Franky said, folding his giant arms.

"It's not my fault," Usopp muttered, rubbing his head. "Luffy pulled me into the stuff . . . I was gonna bring him back before that . . ."

"Yeah, Luffy, you knocked us into that stuff, too," Sanji snapped. "God, my head . . ."

Luffy grinned. "But we all had fun! My head hurts a little, but it was fun, right?"

The other three hit him.


	58. Werewolf Law

**Anon requested WW Law! And hey, he's so involved with the SH at this point, so I thought "Why not?"**

**Non-humans: WW Zoro, WW Law**

* * *

Law sighed and rubbed his temple. There he was, stuck in an alliance he was already regretting, and as a _werewolf_ no less, having been bitten during his time as a Warlord. He hadn't told anyone on the crew, as he'd figured telling them would be a deal-breaker, but they were bound to find out eventually.

"Traffy? Is there something in your pants?"

. . . Like right now, for instance . . .

"Of course not," Law said, forcing his tail to stop moving. "You're imagining things."

Luffy frowned. "Um, okay."

* * *

At lunchtime, when Sanji served up the food, Law frowned.

"Something wrong?" Sanji asked, noting his expression.

Law cleared his throat, embarrassed. "I just . . . er, I prefer rare meat. This is fine, though."

"No, don't worry about it," Sanji said amiably. "Our moss-head is the same way."

Law glanced at Zoro's plate, which indeed had pinkish meat pieces on it.

* * *

Law excused himself to use the toilet. As he was pulling up his pants, Luffy casually barged in and spotted his black tail. For a moment neither said anything.

Then Law yelled, "Get out!"

Luffy spun around and left. Law finished up and came out, his face red.

"You have a tail," Luffy said delightedly. "Are you a werewolf, too?"

Law gritted his teeth. "So you figured it out. Yes, I'm a werewolf. I understand if you want to break off the alliance now—"

He paused. "'Too?'"

"Zoro's a werewolf," Luffy said, picking his nose. "He's been that way for a while."

Law stared at him.

"Anyway, it's dinnertime! Come on!"

* * *

"Oh, so you _are_ a werewolf," Zoro said. "Thought I smelled something funny."

Law scowled. "I should have known you were one too. I was too distracted to pick up on it."

"At least the full moon's a good week away," Sanji remarked as he brought the food to the table.

"Er . . . what's going on?" Kin'emon asked.


	59. Hickeys

**What if vampires couldn't heal the wounds they left behind after feeding? Awkward questions arise...**

**Non-humans: Vampire Sanji (the crew hasn't found out yet)**

* * *

"So, Usopp . . ."

Usopp glanced up at Nami. "What's up?"

Nami pointed to his neck. "What's with the hickey?"

Sanji froze and the others almost choked on their food. Usopp looked confused. "Excuse me?"

"What's a hickey?" Luffy asked, trying to get a look at Usopp's neck. "Is it that bruise thing?"

"Bruise?!" Usopp cried. Robin passed him a mirror and he examined his neck. His eyes grew wide. "Where the hell did this come from?!"

"Usopp," Zoro said. "If you're in a relationship, you don't have to hide it."

"We will support you every step of the way," Brook promised.

"But—but I dunno what this is!" Usopp protested, looking around frantically. Sanji determinedly kept his back to the crew as he focused on cooking up more eggs. "When did I get this?!"

"It wasn't there yesterday," Chopper mused.

"Hang on," Franky said. "We've already been at sea for two days. So whoever gave you the hickey—"

"Stop calling it that!"

"—must be on this ship," Franky concluded.

Everyone looked around at each other. Sanji kept his face impassive as he served Luffy another helping of food.

"Usopp, you could just tell us who did it," Luffy suggested.

Usopp groaned. "I'm telling you, I don't know where this came from!"

"Liar," Nami said.

"I'm telling the truth!"

* * *

The next day, the night after Luffy had been on watch, the crew was gathered for breakfast when Zoro raised an eyebrow at Luffy.

"What?" Luffy said.

Zoro pointed. "Luffy . . . your neck."

Everyone looked to see a small bruise on Luffy's otherwise clean neck.

"What about it?" Luffy asked curiously.

"You've got one too?!" Usopp cried.

"What, the hickey thing?" Luffy said in surprise, feeling his neck and wincing when he pressed the bruise.

"Okay, hold up, this is definitely strange," Nami said. "Both of you in a relationship? Usopp I could _maybe_ believe under certain circumstances, but _Luffy_?"

Usopp looked hurt. "Are you trying to imply that I'm not capable of seducing someone?"

"Yeah, are you saying I can't seduce someone either?!" Luffy demanded.

"Okay, first off, I don't ever want to hear either of you say that word again," Nami said. "I'm just saying it's unlikely _both_ of you are suddenly in the kind of relationship where you and your partner suck on each other's necks."

Sanji almost dropped the toast at the counter. That last part had hit a little too close to home.

"That's what I'm saying!" Usopp exclaimed. "Not that I'm not capable of wooing anyone, but I'm not in a relationship right now!"

Luffy pounded a fist into his open palm. "Oh, you're talking about the kissing kind of relationship! I'm not doing that with anyone either."

Robin looked between them, amused.

* * *

That night, Zoro was on watch. He heard something on deck and looked down to spot Luffy wandering around. The guy probably just couldn't sleep, he thought.

As he watched, the kitchen door opened and Sanji came out. Zoro frowned. Sanji had been sleeping a lot lately, so what was he doing so late out at night?

Sanji seemed to have a quiet conversation with Luffy (Zoro's ears couldn't pick up on what was said) before Luffy suddenly went quiet after a few words from Sanji. Zoro frowned as Luffy backed up. It looked like he was in trouble.

Zoro quietly hopped out of the observatory and hung on the ropes, watching the situation carefully. Luffy was now stock-still as Sanji approached him, grabbed his shoulders, and placed his mouth over his neck.

Zoro gasped in shock and leapt down from the rigging, landing on the deck in front of Sanji and Luffy. Luffy could not turn around, but Sanji briefly glanced up at Zoro, narrowed his eyes, and continued to suck from Luffy's neck.

"Never would have taken you for the type, ero-cook," Zoro said, placing a hand threateningly on a sword.

Sanji twitched, drew away from Luffy, and moved his hand across his forehead. Luffy collapsed to the deck, snoring.

"Type?" Sanji said, his eyes burning red as he looked up at Zoro. "And what's that supposed to mean?"

"What's up with your eye?" Zoro said cautiously.

Sanji sighed. "God, I never wanted to do this, but I can't have you remembering this."

"What?" Zoro said. "What did you do to Luffy, anyway?"

"You'll see," Sanji said. He looked at Zoro and said, "Take your hand off that sword."

Zoro slowly removed his hand from his sword. His eyes widened. "What was that?"

Without waiting for an answer, he turned to go to the men's quarters, but Sanji said firmly, "Stop."

Zoro froze.

"Turn around."

Zoro turned unwillingly. "What the hell kind of magic is this?" he demanded.

Sanji frowned. "Don't talk, and come over here," he ordered.

Zoro stopped talking and jerkily walked towards the cook, stopping in front of him. His eyes darted to Luffy, sleeping peacefully on the ground.

"Alright, hold still," Sanji ordered. He leaned forward, grabbed Zoro, and bit into his neck, not bothering to be gentle. Zoro gritted his teeth as he felt the cook's fangs sink into him . . .

Oh.

When Sanji finally pulled away, Zoro was staring at him with mingled shock, anger, and indignation.

"I only did that so you wouldn't remember this," Sanji said. "Don't worry, I'll take over watch until you wake up. G'night, moss-head."

He wiped two fingers across Zoro's forehead. Zoro's eyes slipped shut and he crumpled to the ground next to Luffy.

Sanji sighed. He picked up Luffy and dragged him off to bed. Getting Zoro back up to the crow's nest was a harder task, but he managed.

"I need to rinse out my mouth," he muttered.

* * *

"So, Zoro . . ." Robin said. "Do _you_ feel like explaining your hickey?"

Zoro almost choked on his food. "_What?_"

"Hey, Zoro's got one, too," Luffy said cheerfully.

"You've got a new one!" Zoro exclaimed. "When did that happen?"

Luffy frowned. "I do? I dunno how that happened."

Usopp put his head in his hands. "What's going on?!"

Nami sighed. "_I_ think I know what's going on."

"It'd be news to me!" Zoro exclaimed. "What do you think's going on?"

Nami looked over. "Every time we talk about this, Sanji-_kun_'s been awfully quiet."

The crew turned to look at Sanji, who was frozen in place, his back to them.

"Sanji-_kun_? Anything you want to say?" Nami asked sweetly.

"N . . . No," Sanji mumbled, not turning around.

"What does Sanji have to do with this?" Luffy asked.

Nami sighed. "You four can stop playing dumb. Luffy, Zoro, Usopp, Sanji-_kun_ . . ."

They waited.

". . . If you're all in some polyamorous relationship, that's okay," Nami said gently. "No one cares if you have love bites on your necks afterwards, or who gave them to you." She glanced at Sanji. "You don't have to hide it."

"WHAT?!" Zoro yelled. "ME—in a relationship with—with THESE three?!" he pointed to the three in question. "And ESPECIALLY the ero-cook! I feel sick just _thinking_ about it!"

"I told you, I'm not in a relationship," Luffy whined.

"I'm not letting _any_ of these guys suck my neck!" Usopp yelled.

"You don't have to hide it," Franky said. "We're already a weird crew. This is hardly raising the bar."

"I'M A VAMPIRE!"

The crew went silent and turned to stare at Sanji, who had finally turned to face them, his expression livid.

"Fine!" he yelled. "I'm a vampire! You three, I drank your blood! Are you happy?!"

"WHAT?!" Usopp screamed.

"THAT'S SO COOL!" Luffy yelled.

Zoro frowned. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Nami stared. "Wait . . . what? Why are you telling us now?"

Sanji groaned. "I'd rather have all of you know than think I'm in some kind of love square with _these_ morons!"

"I'll have you know I can be a fantastic lover," Usopp said, looking hurt.

"No one wants to hear it, Usopp," Zoro snapped.

"A vampire," Luffy said happily, staring at Sanji in fascination.

Robin smiled. "That's actually far more likely than you guys being in a four-way."


	60. Wolf, Sheep, Cabbage

**Non-humans: WW Zoro, WW Luffy**

* * *

Luffy tried yet again to grab the sheep Nami was leading by a rope. It bleated and moved away from him again, trembling.

"Stop that," Nami snapped. "We promised that farmer we'd get this sheep to his daughter _safe and sound_. That means _not_ eaten!"

"How beautiful the farmer's daughter must be," Sanji sighed as he walked alongside them, holding the cabbage head they'd gotten as payment (along with the few beri coins in Nami's pocket). The cabbage was unusually large and heavy, and Sanji looked forward to using it in a future recipe.

"But I'm hungry," Luffy whined. "And that sheep looks tasty . . ."

The sheep bleated indignantly and eyed the cabbage. Sanji frowned and held it away. "No."

"Anyway," Nami said, looking around, "where's Zoro?"

"Probably still lost," Sanji said, glancing at the woods behind them where Zoro had gone off chasing a squirrel. Luffy would have gone, too, had Nami not snatched at his shirt.

They suddenly exited the woods and came upon a very wide and slow-moving river. It seemed too deep to wade across, and a single rowboat attached to a stump bobbed near the bank. Luffy briefly considered using his power to launch the group across, but gave up when he realized the other side was a field—nothing to grab hold of.

"We'll use the boat," Nami said. "Come on."

They attempted to climb in, but it began to sink and Nami yelled, "Out! Everyone out!"

They all quickly climbed back out.

"Seems like only two of us can go across at the same time," Nami murmured. "But we can't leave Luffy alone with the sheep, and we can't leave the sheep alone with the cabbage . . ."

She snapped her fingers. "I've seen this before. I know what to do . . . Sanji-_kun_?"

"Yes, Nami-_swan_?" Sanji cried.

"Give Luffy the cabbage and go find Zoro."

Sanji saluted, handed the cabbage off to Luffy with the warning to be damn careful with it, and went back into the woods to look for Zoro.

"Okay, Luffy," Nami said. "Wait here with the cabbage."

She led the sheep into the boat, climbed in, and rowed them across to the other side. She left the sheep on the other side of the river and, keeping an eye on it to make sure it wouldn't wander off, came back alone. This time she grabbed the cabbage from Luffy and rowed across with it; she left the cabbage on the shore and brought the sheep back to Luffy.

"Is this some kind of game?" Luffy whined as Nami came back with the sheep.

"Hush," Nami snapped. She dragged Luffy into the boat, rowed him across, left him with the cabbage, rowed back alone, grabbed the sheep, and rowed back.

"There we go," she said cheerfully.

Luffy frowned. "That was weird."

He picked up the cabbage, Nami grabbed the sheep's rope, and they went on their way across the field.

* * *

Sanji and Zoro stared across the river. The boat was on the other side and Nami and Luffy were nowhere to be seen.

"Well . . . they _were_ here," Sanji said. "I was sure my Nami-_swan_ would wait for me . . ."

Zoro scowled. "So we'll find a way around."

"Or you could get someone to come with that pitiful howling," Sanji teased.

Zoro glared at him. "It got _your_ attention, didn't it? And it's _not_ pitiful."

* * *

**The wolf-sheep-cabbage puzzle is pretty well-known. Some variations are afoot, such as the wolf being a fox, the sheep being a goat or goose, and the cabbage being a bag of grain, or corn, or beans. **

**The basic premise is this: A farmer has a wolf, a sheep, and a cabbage. He must cross a river, but the boat can only carry two at a time, and he must bring himself and his burdens across with him. The wolf will eat the sheep if left alone with it, and the sheep will eat the cabbage likewise. The solution is basically what Nami did in this chapter.**


	61. Werewolf Luffy 2

**animelovergirl123 requested WW Luffy's first transformation!**

**Non-humans: WW Luffy**

* * *

When Luffy walked in for breakfast, Chopper screamed. "What happened to your arm?!"

Luffy glanced down at the dried blood. "Oh, a wolf bit me," he said cheerfully. "I went out on a walk last night 'cause I couldn't sleep, and it came out of nowhere and attacked me! I knocked it out."

"You know that wolves can have—_diseases_," Usopp said, staring at the wound nervously.

"Luffy, come on, I need to clean that right away," Chopper said. He turned big and dragged Luffy to his office, ranting about how Luffy should have come see him right away and for god's sake be more careful . . .

"Why aren't any of you guys concerned?" Usopp demanded, looking around at the incredibly unconcerned pirates.

"He's fine, isn't he?" Zoro muttered.

"That's not—never mind," Usopp sighed.

* * *

About a month later, on the day of the full moon, Luffy awoke feeling very sick. He dragged himself out of bed, determined to have breakfast.

"Uh . . . you look like shit," Zoro said as a greeting.

"Nn," Luffy mumbled. "S'nji . . . food . . ."

Sanji frowned. "Are you feeling okay?"

Nami felt his forehead. "You feel warm. Go back to bed."

"No."

"Chopper?"

Chopper jumped up, turned big, and picked Luffy up. "You're getting more rest," he ordered, bringing Luffy to the infirmary.

He returned a few minutes later, saying that Luffy was just a bit feverish and was going to sleep in the infirmary for the day.

* * *

The crew periodically came in to check on Luffy during the day. When night fell and everyone was going to bed, Luffy stumbled out of the infirmary.

"What is it?" Chopper asked as the crew casually crowded around Luffy.

Luffy shivered, trembling. "It was too hot," he mumbled. "Cooler out here."

He took off his vest and hat and leaned against the mast, shaking.

"Hey, Luffy, go back to bed," Chopper said sternly.

"How are you feeling?" Brook asked.

Luffy closed his eyes briefly. "My head hurts . . . I feel sick . . . my skin's prickly all over . . . it's really hot . . ."

The full moon was rising over the ship now.

"Okay," Chopper said gently. "I'm going to get you back to the infirmary. You're still feverish."

Suddenly Luffy cried out in pain and fell to his knees.

"Luffy?!" Nami cried.

Luffy gritted his teeth as his head lengthened and thick black fur sprouted out all over his body. The crew backed away warily as his limbs shifted, his body changed shape, and a tail grew out of his backside. His pants fell off of his hindquarters.

The black wolf—_Luffy_—looked up and around at the crew with yellow, aggressive eyes.

"The . . . the full moon," Robin said softly. "You don't think . . . ?"

Luffy sprang towards Zoro with a fierce bark. Zoro drew his swords and held back his canine captain. Luffy quickly gave up and turned towards Robin instead. She held him down with her power, blinding him with hands over his eyes.

"How did this happen?" Usopp cried, staring at Luffy in horror.

"He said he was bitten by a wolf a few weeks ago," Sanji remembered. "Think it was a werewolf?"

Luffy squeezed out of Robin's arms due to his rubber body and turned his head this way and that, trying to shake off the mystery blindfold.

"We need to knock him out," Franky said. "Can someone—?"

_GONG_

Luffy fell to the ground, knocked unconscious by Nami's staff. She stowed it away and everyone stared at their werewolf captain.

"So . . . we should probably lock him up somewhere," Chopper suggested quietly. He was standing behind Zoro and shaking as he hid the wrong way.

Zoro glanced at him. "You go inside. We'll take care of it."

Chopper ran to the men's quarters as the others began to talk about where to put him.

"Not the kitchen," Sanji said. "Can't have him ruining everything when he wakes up."

"The library?" Usopp suggested.

Robin shook her head. "I don't fancy him tearing into our books."

"The bathroom," Nami said.

"Oh, sounds good, sis," Franky agreed.

Zoro grabbed Luffy and threw the unconscious werewolf over his shoulder. The crew followed them up, where Zoro dumped Luffy onto the bathroom floor.

"Do you think he'll remember this when he wakes up?" Robin wondered aloud.

Usopp tossed Luffy's clothes in the corner. "We can leave a note on the door."

Nami took out some paper. Usopp handed her a pencil and she scribbled out a quick note, leaving it on the bathroom counter.

"G'night," she said, leaving.

The others left, shutting the door tightly behind them.

* * *

Luffy suddenly awoke, blinking sleepily. He looked around. Why did everything look so weird? Why was he in the bathroom?

Suddenly he clutched his head as the memories from the previous night poured back.

He got up, stumbled, and stared at himself in the mirror. His eyes appeared to be yellow, but then again, everything looked strange, so who knew if he could trust what he thought he saw?

But _this_, he knew as he twisted around to examine his fluffy black tail, _this_ was definitely real.

He spotted the note on the counter and quickly read it.

_Luffy, I don't know if you remember what happened or not. Either way, come down to the men's quarters. We'll meet you there._

Luffy looked around, saw his clothes, and pulled them on. He frowned. His vest and hat ribbon looked an odd shade of yellow. At least his pants looked the same.

He hurried downstairs, stumbling and yawning, and went into the men's quarters. Everyone was starting to wake up.

"Guys . . . ?"

Suddenly they were wide awake, getting up and hurrying to Luffy, asking was he okay and did he remember what happened?

Luffy looked like he was going to cry. "I . . . I didn't _really_ attack you guys . . . did I?"

They glanced around at each other.

"You tried, but we're fine," Zoro said reassuringly. Usopp and Chopper looked curiously at Luffy's new tail.

Luffy pouted. "I'm really sorry . . ."

"Hey, it's fine," Franky said, pulling him into a one-armed hug. "So you're a werewolf now, no big deal."

"Oh, so that's what happened," Luffy said in understanding. He yawned. "I'm tired . . ."

"Go to bed," Usopp said. "You must've had a long night."

Luffy staggered to bed and collapsed onto the mattress, falling asleep within seconds.

* * *

When he got up for lunch, he was considerably brighter.

"So I'm a werewolf now," he said, his tail twitching.

"We noticed," Nami muttered.

His tail drooped. "I'm sorry."

"No worries," Robin said. "Is something wrong with your eyes?"

Luffy kept blinking hard as if he was having trouble seeing.

"They're yellow," Brook commented, leaning in to get a better look.

"Oh, so they _are_ yellow?" Luffy said. "Everything looks really weird. I wasn't sure."

"Weird how?" Nami asked.

"Your hair looks yellow," he said. "Zoro, your hair looks kinda purple-ish . . ." he glanced down. "My vest looks yellow . . ."

"Oh," Robin said in understanding. "You're colorblind now."

"What?" Luffy said. "I thought that was black-and-white!"

"It can be," Robin said. "But in some cases it just means not seeing all the colors."

"Oh," Luffy said in disappointment. "That's too bad. So . . ." he looked around again. "I can't see red and green anymore." He sighed and slumped in his chair.

"Cheer up, I bet there are some fun parts to being a werewolf," Usopp said reassuringly.

Luffy perked up. "Like what?"

"We could play fetch later," Sanji said, smirking.

Luffy's tail wagged. "That sounds like fun!"

"I was jokin—" Sanji shrugged. "Okay, whatever you want."


	62. All Alone

**animelovergirl123 requested WW Luffy alone for a day and subsequently traumatized. Thanks to Lew-_chan_ for helping out with this one!**

**Non-humans: WW Zoro, WW Luffy**

* * *

Luffy trudged through the thick jungle, scowling at the flowers he passed by. Soon it all became too much again. He collapsed to the ground and howled.

* * *

_Earlier_

"Make sure not to get lost here," Nami said warningly as they docked at the island. "This island's huge, and it looks like forest all over."

Zoro sniffed the air. "I smell . . . plants?"

Luffy wagged his tail. "Flowers!"

"There are a lot of them," Zoro remarked.

"They smell nice," Chopper said, leaning far over the railing.

"Alright!" Luffy exclaimed, jumping off. "Let's go explore!"

Zoro, Usopp, and Chopper followed him and they ran off into the trees.

"So how much money on them getting lost?" Sanji said, taking a drag from a cigarette.

Nami put her head down on the railing.

The four in the trees happily romped through, surrounded by many kinds of flowers which gave off strong scents.

"It's hard to smell anything else," Zoro muttered.

"That's okay," Chopper said. "They smell good!"

Usopp leaned down and sniffed one. "Ah, the scent of spring in the air—ow, ow, ow, OW!"

He pulled back and the wasp that had stung his nose buzzed off.

"Are you laughing at me?!" he yelled as his nose swelled up at the tip.

Luffy burst out laughing. "That sure is a funny look!"

Usopp grumbled something as Chopper went into doctor mode and wrapped his nose up.

Zoro stuck a finger in his ear. "Stupid bugs. Way too many of them."

"They're pretty noisy," Chopper agreed.

They continued on. After a bit, Luffy stopped when he saw something interesting: Hundreds of skinny vines hung from a tree branch like a curtain.

"A magic portal," he whispered happily. Without waiting for the others, he ran for the vines and pushed some aside, going beyond the plants. He found a shaded area, thick with tall grass and with beautiful sunlight filtering through. He sighed and happily flopped onto his back.

"I wonder where the fairies are," he said aloud. Sitting up, he said, "Guys, do you see fairies?"

No one was there. Luffy's breath hitched in his throat.

"Guys!" he yelled. "Guys!"

No response. Luffy began to whimper in distress and hurried out of the vines, looking around. His crewmates were gone.

"Oh, no," he whispered. He tried to catch their scent, but it was overwhelmed by the flowers, and any sound he might have caught was drowned out by the insects.

"This way?" he said hopefully, hurrying off ahead.

* * *

This had been a few hours ago, which brought Luffy to his current predicament. He was hopelessly lost on the island and had collapsed several times when the loneliness became overwhelming—like now, for instance.

He howled again and rolled among the flowers, getting pollen all over his clothes. Naturally, he didn't care.

"Where are they . . . ?" he whimpered. "Zoro . . . Usopp . . . Chopper . . ."

He sat up. "Sunny . . . ?"

Getting an idea, he grabbed a tree branch and launched himself to the top of the tree. Grabbing to the tip and clinging on like a monkey, he looked around.

But the island was too big and the trees too tall to see anything on the shore.

Luffy was about to get back down when the tree suddenly bent under his weight. He clung on as it bent down and suddenly snapped back, flinging him farther into the island. He yelled all the way.

* * *

"_aaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaa . . ._"

Zoro cocked his head. "Did you hear that?"

"No," Usopp snapped. "Unless it was Luffy, concentrate on looking for him! He can't have gone far!"

"Yes, he could have!" Zoro pointed out. "Remember who we're talking about!"

"Oh, right," Usopp muttered. "Luffy . . . where could you be . . . ?"

"These damn flowers," Zoro muttered. "Giving me a headache, blocking out Luffy's scent . . ."

Chopper nodded. "They are a bit overwhelming."

* * *

Luffy crashed through several trees and bounced upon landing. He rubbed his bottom and sat up, looking around.

"I don't know this place," he mumbled.

Once again, the crushing loneliness overwhelmed him. He fell back down and whimpered.

"I miss them . . ."

* * *

Luffy's half-hearted trekking led to no progress whatsoever. The poor kid kept going unknowingly in circles.

"I swear I've seen this tree before . . ." he mumbled, placing a hand on the bark, which had scratches in it from a stick he'd used to mark his place earlier.

The sun was setting, throwing the forest into shadow.

"Maybe . . . tomorrow . . ." Luffy mumbled, falling down again. He curled up on his side as he started to cry.

"I wanna see them . . ."

* * *

He woke up with the sun and sat up, blinking. He started crawling in a straight line.

Suddenly he saw an eye on a tree. He blinked and stared at it stupidly.

An ear appeared next to the eye, and then a hand, which waved at him.

"Robin . . . ?" Luffy said. He smiled faintly. "Robin!"

The hand made a _Wait there_ motion and vanished. Luffy's smile faded and he curled up on the ground again.

* * *

"Luffy!"

Luffy looked around, startled by the sudden voice.

"There you are!"

He turned around and saw Zoro and Sanji coming towards him, both with relieved smiles.

His face screwed up and he stood, leaping at them and tackling them to the ground in a huge hug.

"Good god, get off, you damn rubber," Sanji muttered.

"I . . . I missed you guys!" Luffy bawled into Zoro's shirt.

"Oh, goddammit," Zoro muttered, concerned. "You were all alone for nearly a day . . ."

"Poor thing," Sanji said softly. "Hey, let's get back to the ship. I bet you're hungry."

Luffy nodded.

"Hey, quit crying into my shirt already," Zoro muttered. He managed to get Luffy off of him and got up. "Let's go."

As he turned, he felt something and glanced back. Luffy had grabbed onto the back of his shirt.

He sighed as Sanji straightened himself. "Alright, come on."

Luffy clung to the back of his shirt the whole way.

* * *

"Luffy!"

"Are you okay?"

"Did you get hurt?"

Luffy was bombarded with concerned questions the second he was back on the ship. In response he simply started crying.

"I missed you guys," he whimpered. He was showered in hugs and pats on the head.

* * *

"Here you are," Sanji said, serving Luffy a bowl of soup, rich with rare meat. The werewolf had been attended to by Chopper and changed out of his dirty clothes.

Luffy happily dug in, but he slowed and looked at Sanji.

"Something taste off?" Sanji asked, noticing Luffy's look.

Luffy fidgeted. "Can you . . . sit over here?"

Sanji's gaze softened. "Sure," he said. He came over to the table and sat by Luffy.

". . . Closer?"

Sanji scooted closer. On Luffy's insistence, he kept moving closer until he and Luffy were practically shoulder-to-shoulder.

"This feels weird," Sanji muttered.

"It feels good," Luffy said. He happily started eating again.

* * *

Over the next few days, Luffy wouldn't leave his crewmates alone. At night he slept in the same bed as one of his friends, who rolled over to accommodate him. During the day, he would cling to Zoro's shirt, or sit on the werewolf's back as he did push-ups; he would lean over Nami as she did her maps until she snapped and shoved him away; Usopp was happy to give him piggyback rides at first, at least until his legs started giving out; Sanji had to deal with him clinging to his leg as he cooked, and so he walked awkwardly with Luffy wrapped around his leg like a child.

With Chopper Luffy would randomly pick up and hug, and Chopper was always happy to hug him back unless he was in the middle of something; Robin usually offered to read him a story as he looked over her shoulder at whatever tome she was examining at the moment; Franky was often bothered by the monkey climbing up on his shoulders as he worked, and had to shoo him down by threatening him with a wrench; and Brook had to keep gently setting him aside as Luffy insisted on trying to scale him like a tree, which of course his bony frame could not take.

Finally Nami snapped.

"ZORO!" she yelled after shoving Luffy off yet again.

Zoro popped onto the deck, looking annoyed, his tail twitching. "Yeah?"

"Talk to him," Nami snapped, shoving Luffy towards Zoro. He shrugged and went around, latching on to Zoro's back. Zoro sighed and carried Luffy off to the men's quarters.

"Luffy," he said, sitting on a bed. "Listen to me."

Luffy waited.

"Okay, get off first." Zoro plucked him off and sat him down on the bed opposite his. Luffy tried to crawl back over, but Zoro made him stay.

"I know it must've been hard," he said. "Being all alone in that huge forest."

Luffy nodded.

"But you've got to know, we're all here," Zoro said gently. "Even if you're not touching us every second of the day, or even seeing us all the time, we're all on this ship."

Luffy shifted. "But . . . it's hard."

"You can do it," Zoro said encouragingly. "You did it before. If you get lonely, you can just pop in a room and check on us, right? There's no need to cling to us 24/7."

Luffy looked down.

"You can handle it, right?"

Luffy nodded. "Yeah. I'll try."

"Good." Zoro got up and clapped him on the shoulder. "Nami's in her room, Robin's reading on deck, Usopp and Chopper are out there too, the cook's in the kitchen, Franky's in the workshop, Brook's on the bow, and I'll be up in the crow's nest."

He left. Luffy waited for a minute before going out on deck to play with Usopp and Chopper.


	63. Cat vs Dog

**Zantetsuken Reverse requested Cat-Vampire Sanji with Lu and Zoro~**

**Non-humans: WW Zoro, WW Luffy, Vampire Sanji**

* * *

Sanji and Chopper were out with Zoro and Luffy on the full moon. Sanji was indulging Luffy with a belly rub and Chopper was checking over Zoro, who'd received a wound the other day.

"I just thought of something," Sanji said. "We could all be animals."

Chopper glanced up, having finished checking Zoro. "What?"

Sanji grinned. There was a puff of smoke and a yellow cat replaced Sanji, long and sleek fur covering the left eye.

Zoro immediately became defensive, growling suspiciously, while Luffy brightened and nudged the cat with his muzzle.

_It's me, you idiots,_ Sanji the cat said.

_Sanji!_ Luffy said. _Why are you a cat now?_

"Can you understand him?" Chopper asked.

_Yeah,_ Sanji meowed. _Luffy, I'm a vampire. I can change shape._

Luffy nudged Sanji happily again, his tail wagging. _That's awesome! I like cats!_

_I don't,_ Zoro growled, glaring at Sanji.

Sanji turned and hissed at Zoro, _You know it's me, you idiot._

"Zoro, it's just Sanji," Chopper said soothingly.

_Don't care. _

_What's wrong with cats?_ Sanji hissed, fur starting to stand. _Better than being a mutt._

_What was that?_ Zoro snarled, baring his teeth.

Luffy shoved his way between them. _Don't fight!_ he exclaimed.

"Sanji, maybe you should turn back," Chopper said quietly.

Sanji growled faintly, but with a puff of smoke he was back to human form, crouched on the deck.

_Better_, Zoro growled in approval.

Sanji bopped him on the head.


	64. Can't Do It

**Non-humans: Vampire Sanji, Vampire Usopp**

* * *

Sanji came outside soon after sunset and found a very interesting sight. Usopp was wearing a suit and a black cape. He slowly slunk towards Luffy with his arms raised as Luffy, wearing a dress and makeup, backed up with cries of, "No! No!" Meanwhile, Chopper was off to the side, lying on the deck with red liquid all over his neck.

Sanji sat against the wall and watched with interest. Usopp noticed him and faltered for a moment before turning back to . . . whatever he was doing.

"There is no one to protect you, fair maiden!" he exclaimed dramatically, backing Luffy up against the railing. "You will quench my thirst tonight!"

"Oh, no!" Luffy cried in falsetto, holding out his hand as if to stop Usopp. "No! I'll do anything!"

"And now . . . I dine!" Usopp declared with a fanged smile. He grabbed Luffy, who went limp in his arms, and lowered his mouth to his neck . . .

But he hesitated, freezing with his mouth open over flesh.

"What's wrong?" Luffy whispered. "Do it!"

Usopp shook his head and pulled back, letting go of Luffy. "I can't," he said miserably. "Dammit . . ."

"It didn't work?" Chopper said, sitting up.

"Hi, Sanji!" Luffy exclaimed, waving to the cook.

Sanji stood. "What the _hell_ are you idiots doing?"

"Well," Usopp mumbled. "I'm still having trouble drinking . . . from an actual person. Also, Chopper's out of blood packs again."

"And I thought putting on a play might help!" Chopper said. "I'm the first victim!" He wiped the ketchup off of his neck, licking it from his hoof.

"I'm the damsel in distress!" Luffy said proudly.

"I see," Sanji said thoughtfully. "Hey, Usopp, is that my suit?"

". . . No?"

Sanji scowled. "Go take it off." He got a good look at the dress Luffy was wearing and snapped, "Isn't that Robin-_chwan_'s dress?!"

"Yeah," Luffy said shamelessly. "She said I could borrow it."

"And isn't that Nami-_swan_'s makeup?!"

"Yeah, and it's just a little bit, so even if she said no—"

Sanji promptly ran over to Luffy and kicked him into a wall. "Go take it off right now! All of it!"

Luffy started to take off the dress, but Usopp quickly said, "Sanji, he went commando under there."

"THAT'S EVEN WORSE! GO INSIDE, YOU DAMN RUBBER!"

Luffy sulked and trudged indoors, Chopper close behind.

"And give me back my damn suit," Sanji snapped at Usopp. Usopp hurried into the men's quarters and came back out soon with his usual overalls.

"I'm so thirsty," he mumbled.

Sanji sighed. "Let's go inside."

* * *

They sat across from each other at the kitchen table.

"So you still can't do it, huh?"

Usopp shook his head. "I hate it," he mumbled. "I know I need blood to survive, and it tastes so good, but I just can't bite into someone."

He looked up at Sanji. "How'd you do it? The first time you had to bite someone?"

Sanji sighed. "I know you don't remember it, but my first victim was you."

Usopp made a face.

"I was out on deck," Sanji said, "and we were at a town. I was wondering how I would go about it and hoping _someone_ was awake, because who knew if I could take someone's blood while they were sleeping?"

"_Can_ you?" Usopp asked curiously.

"Never tried," Sanji admitted. "Guess next time Luffy takes a nap, I'll . . ."

"Go on," Usopp said quickly.

"Anyway, you were on watch that night," Sanji said. "You saw me and came down and started threatening me with your slingshot before you realized who it was."

Usopp grinned.

"Well, then you started questioning me, because I was supposed to be sick and staying indoors," Sanji remembered. "I'd read something about vampires wiping memories, so I asked you to come back up to the crow's nest with me."

He sighed. "Well, then came the nerve-wracking part," he said quietly. "I was thirsty, you were right there, and it was hard to _not_ see you as a meal at that point. So I made you go quiet and hold still."

Usopp gulped, remembering the sensation of control many times before.

Sanji rubbed the back of his neck as if embarrassed. "I went for the neck, of course . . . and there was this moment before I bit down of, 'What if I hurt him? What if I take too much? He must be terrified. What if he remembers this later and he's scared of me?' But I steeled my nerves and just went for it."

"What was that like?" Usopp whispered.

"It must have hurt a little bit for you, but it was really just like biting into a tough piece of meat," Sanji said. "I've gotten used to it." He sighed. "You looked so scared, and of course I couldn't blame you, but I felt pretty guilty about it all the same. After that, biting became a lot easier."

Usopp was quiet.

"I was telling myself that you weren't going to die," Sanji said, his voice starting to shake. "I told myself that I wouldn't take all of your blood . . . that I would _never_ do that. And later, when everyone found out . . . I was just happy none of you were too scared. I was glad that no one flinched when they saw me . . . that no one would have to be scared of me, because of course I wasn't going to kill anyone—"

He put his head down on the table, his shoulders shaking.

"I'm so sorry," he said from the table. "I never wanted to do that to you."

"Hey . . . hey, it's okay," Usopp said, attempting to comfort him by patting his shoulder. "I know. It wasn't your fault."

"But now—" Sanji looked up, his face making it obvious he was holding back sobs. "—You can't even bring yourself to drink from someone, for god's sake, you might die for _good_—"

"Sanji, it's okay," Usopp said. "I'll . . . I'm sure I'll get over it . . . eventually. And Luffy's always willing and more than ready to help."

Sanji grinned. "Yeah, that's true."

Usopp nodded. "So . . . don't beat yourself up over it again. I'll be okay."

"Right," Sanji said.

Usopp grinned.

"The night's still young," Sanji said, standing. "You up for a game of chess outside?"

"Of course!" Usopp exclaimed. "No one can beat the mighty Usopp and his army of 8,000 followers!"

"Sixteen followers," Sanji corrected. "And I kicked your ass nine times out of twelve."

"Still . . ."


	65. Teen Wolf

**Ashlielle requested WW Luffy with Ace! Remember, lycanthropy takes effect once puberty hits. The exact age varies depending on the person.**

**Non-humans: WW Luffy**

* * *

"Grampa . . . I'm hungry . . ."

Luffy, five years old, pouted as he sat on the dinghy with Garp. The old man was rowing them closer and closer to an island thick with jungle as the full moon rose overhead.

"And I'm tired," the boy insisted. "I wanna go back home."

"Don't be silly, you brat," Garp said, grinning. "You're going to spend the night in these woods!"

"What?!" Luffy cried indignantly. "But—but—where'm I gonna sleep? What'm I gonna eat?!"

"I'm sure you can find some berries or fruit," Garp said as they hit shore. "And you can make a bed on leaves! Trust me, this will be a good training exercise for when you're a Marine!"

". . . Gonna be a pirate," Luffy mumbled under his breath.

Garp scowled into his grandson's face. "I _heard_ that," he snapped. He picked up the child and threw him into the jungle like a baseball.

"And don't come back until dawn!" he yelled after he heard Luffy land.

He settled back into the dinghy and glanced around. He frowned when he spotted a rowboat not far from his own.

"Well, that's for him to deal with," he mumbled. He shut his eyes and promptly fell asleep.

* * *

Luffy sniffled and sat against a tree, pouting.

"It's cold," he mumbled. "No food . . . leaves suck at being a bed . . ."

He brought his knees up to his chest, trying to keep warm.

"Stupid grampa," he mumbled.

He suddenly looked up, alerted to something's presence by the crunching of footsteps.

"Who's there?" he called quietly.

There was a growling and a wolf emerged from the brush. Its fur was dark brown and its eyes glowed yellow as it stared at Luffy.

"Doggy?" Luffy asked hopefully.

The wolf sprang. Luffy yelled out in shock and scrambled to get away. Stumbling, he started running for the shore to get Garp's help, the wolf hot on his heels. He could feel its breath on his back.

"Grampa!" he yelled as he burst out from the trees. "Big dog! Help!"

Garp awoke with a start and saw Luffy frantically waving to him.

"You brat," he grumbled. "Didn't I tell you not to come back 'til—"

The wolf knocked Luffy over and bit savagely into his side, tearing out a good chunk of flesh. Luffy screamed.

"Hey, hey, HEY!" Garp yelled. He sprang from the boat and ran to the wolf, punching it in the head before it could take another bite out of Luffy. "You stay away from my cute grandson!"

With a ferocious kick, the now-unconscious wolf went sailing back into the trees. Garp turned to Luffy, whose shirt was now covered in blood. His breathing was fast and shallow.

"Grampa . . . it hurts . . ." he said softly. And then he fainted dead away in the sand.

"Ah, dammit," Garp muttered. He scooped up Luffy with one arm and carried him quickly to the boat. He tore off some of his shirt and tied it tightly around Luffy's torso in order to stop the bleeding.

They were not too far from shore when Luffy blinked his eyes open dazedly.

"Gramps . . ." he mumbled, right before vomiting onto his shirt.

"Hang in there, kid," Garp said, rowing as fast as possible. "We're heading back to the village, and we'll see the doctor and get you fixed up. Just hang on until then, okay?"

Luffy had already fallen unconscious again. Garp started rowing faster.

* * *

"What the _hell_ kind of training were you _doing_?!"

Garp made a show of covering his ears as the doctor yelled at him. Luffy was sedated on the bed in her office.

"I keep telling you, Garp, that kind of training isn't good on such a young kid!" the doctor snapped, flipping her hair out of the way. "You're going to kill him one of these days!"

"It wasn't my fault," Garp snapped back at her. "He got bitten by a wolf. I didn't even know wolves could be that aggressive towards humans!"

The doctor turned away. "Get out. My patient doesn't need this much noise!"

Garp grumbled something, threw a glance at Luffy, and headed outside. The doctor shut the door and turned to Luffy.

* * *

"Thank you!"

The doctor smiled. The sun was high in the sky and Luffy was up and about, his wound fixed up.

"Now, you take it easy," she said gently. "I'll make sure Garp doesn't take you anywhere at least until you're fully healed." She scowled. "And even then . . ."

"Grampa can't take me anywhere until I'm fully healed?" Luffy said curiously.

The doctor nodded.

"Then I hope I never heal," Luffy declared.

* * *

Luffy was seven years old as he took off his shirt in front of his brothers for the first time, preparing for a bath. Sabo noticed his torso and gasped.

"Luffy?" he said. "Where'd you get those awful scars?"

Ace glanced over and held an expression of surprise. The left side of Luffy's abdomen had large jagged marks on it, like something had tried to eat him.

"Oh," Luffy said, grinning. "I got bit by a big dog—I mean, a wolf a long time ago. I'm okay, though, 'cause I'm strong."

"You're a weakling," Ace said under his breath as he and Sabo hopped into the bath.

Luffy frowned. "Take that back!"

"Weakling."

Luffy attempted to stretch out his fist to punch Ace, but it snapped back and he hit his own face, knocking himself backwards onto the floor.

* * *

Luffy was twelve years old on one particular full moon where he woke up feeling sick.

"Lu?" Ace (fifteen) said, checking on him. "What's up?"

Luffy shivered. "Hot . . ." he mumbled. "Head hurts . . . stomach . . . ow . . ."

"Aw, you're sick," Ace said softly. "Stay in bed today. I'll tell Dadan to let you off chores. Not that you'd do them anyway."

Luffy grinned before going right back to sleep. Ace sighed and headed outside.

* * *

That night, Luffy sat up in bed. He crawled outside. Ace woke up, noticed him leaving, and followed him out.

Luffy sat in the grass and took off his shirt, and then his pants, and then his hat, which he placed on his clothes.

"Lu?" Ace said. "Why're you stripping?"

Luffy glanced back without a shred of embarrassment. "It's . . . too hot," he mumbled. "Cooler out here."

"Put your pants back on," Ace ordered. "We can sleep in the treehouse tonight."

Luffy smiled weakly, slowly got his pants back on, and followed Ace to their treehouse, trembling every step of the way.

He collapsed onto the wooden bottom of the place once they were there. Ace turned on a lamp and frowned.

"You look terrible," he remarked, noticing the sheen of sweat on Luffy's body. "I'm gonna take you to town and get a doctor, okay?"

Luffy slowly nodded, shaking. And then he cried out and jerked.

"Luffy?!"

Ace crawled forward frantically as Luffy groaned in pain, trembling madly. He clutched himself and his face screwed up in agony.

"Luffy, stay calm," Ace said urgently, trying to hide his panic and failing miserably. "I'll go get Dadan, and—what?!"

Black hair was sprouting all over Luffy's body.

"It's . . . way too early to start growing hair in weird places, Lu," Ace said nervously.

Luffy's head lengthened and his limbs shifted as his whole body changed. Ace scooted away.

When the transformation was complete, the black-furred wolf looked at Ace with yellow eyes. He stood and growled aggressively.

"I . . . _Luffy_?" Ace said incredulously.

The wolf (Luffy) sprang at Ace with a high-pitched bark and Ace rolled out of the way. His attacker hit his head on the treehouse wall and slowly stood, dazed.

"Luffy?" Ace said tentatively. "It's . . . it's _me_. It's Ace! Your brother?!"

Luffy stood, growled, and snarled as he leapt at Ace again. Ace ducked underneath and shoved his legs up into the black-furred belly of the canine, forcing out a _yelp_ and a crash as Luffy once again hit the wall.

"Okay," Ace said, trying and failing miserably to keep calm. "Okay, my little brother's a monst—a werewolf—no big deal. Gotta knock him out or something . . ."

He dodged another attack from the werewolf and seized the metal pipe lying in the corner. With a battle cry (his voice cracked at the end of it), he leapt for Luffy and swung the pipe at his head. One _BANG_ later and Luffy was on the ground, out cold.

"What are these things _made_ of?" Ace mumbled to himself after catching his breath. "To knock out a rubber guy . . . wait, that's not important right now!"

He looked at Luffy and crawled over to him.

"Luffy . . ." he mumbled. "So . . . werewolves . . . turn back at sunrise, right . . . ? Gotta keep him here 'til then . . ."

He looked around. Luffy might be able to jump out of the windows, and would probably try, being Luffy. But . . .

Ace glanced at Luffy and slowly backed down through the entrance.

"I'll be right back," he whispered, and jumped down, hurrying back to Dadan's place.

* * *

"And . . . there."

Ace finished the final knot and stepped back to admire his handiwork. Luffy was now completely covered in tightly knotted ropes, immobilizing him where he lay.

"I'm staying here, just in case," Ace said aloud, not talking to anyone in particular, and sat down. Soon enough his eyes drooped and he fell asleep where he sat.

* * *

Ace woke up with the sun. He stretched, blinked, and looked around. His eyes widened when he saw that Luffy had gone back to normal, sleeping in the now loose ropes.

Slowly Luffy turned onto his back, opened his eyes, and sat up.

"Hm?" he mumbled. "Ace . . . ?"

He glanced at Ace and Ace saw that his eyes were yellow.

Luffy frowned. "What's going on? Why—"

Suddenly he clutched his head and squeezed his eyes shut.

When he opened them again, he looked at Ace in horror.

"A . . . Ace . . ." he said, tears filling his eyes. "Please tell me that was just a dream . . . please tell me I didn't attack you . . ."

Ace crawled forward and hugged Luffy tightly. "It's okay," he murmured. "I'm glad you're back. Are you feeling okay?"

Luffy sniffled and started to cry. "Well . . . I'm tired, and . . ." he frowned. "Everything looks dumb . . . and my butt feels weird . . ."

He and Ace looked at his behind and saw the fluffy black tail sprouting from his backside. Luffy's eyes widened and he found he could make it twitch.

"So . . . I don't get it . . ." he said.

"You must be a werewolf," Ace said. "Last night was the full moon."

"Oh!" Luffy said. "That . . ." he yawned. "Explains it . . ."

"You're staying here and you're going to sleep," Ace ordered. "I'll get your shirt and hat. Can you come back by lunchtime?" He glanced at Luffy's tail. "And . . . can you tuck your tail into your pants or something?"

". . . Why?" Luffy asked, his eyes drooping.

"Sleep," Ace said firmly. "I'll explain later."

Luffy fell back onto the ropes, snoring softly. Ace ruffled his hair fondly before heading out.

* * *

Luffy returned fully dressed and his tail hidden away. He was just in time to miss lunch.

"Aw," he muttered.

"Here," Ace said, tossing him a piece of meat. Luffy brightened and caught it, tearing into it like an animal (which was fairly normal) before frowning and looking at it (which was not fairly normal).

"Isn't this . . . overcooked?" he said tentatively.

Ace frowned. "No?"

Luffy shrugged and slowly ate the rest. He and Ace went upstairs to their room and sat together quietly.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't bother," Ace said. "You obviously weren't in control. It's okay."

Luffy bit his lip. "So . . . why'd I have to hide my tail?"

Ace glanced around to make sure they were alone. "Look," he said quietly. "You know what Dadan's like. If she finds out you're a werewolf now, she'd refuse to take care of you anymore and kick you out."

Luffy's eyes widened. "No!" he protested loudly. "I like it here! Dadan's mean, but at least there's a bed and a roof and food and grampa isn't trying to kill me once a week—"

"Ssh!" Ace hissed. "We're gonna keep it secret, okay? You've gotta keep your tail in your pants . . ." he glanced at Luffy's eyes. ". . . That part might be hard to hide . . ."

"What part?"

"Your eyes are yellow now," Ace explained.

Luffy frowned. "Everything's yellow. Or a weird purple-gray. Or blue."

"Uh . . . what?"

"All the colors are being dumb," Luffy explained. "Your shirt looks kinda yellow, and so does your skin . . . your hair's normal . . . my hat ribbon's yellow . . ."

Ace frowned. "I think . . . that's called color blindness?"

"What's that?" Luffy asked.

"It means you can't see some colors," Ace explained. "Sometimes that means you can't see red or green and sometimes it means black-and-white."

Luffy frowned. "I don't like it. It's stupid."

Ace shrugged. "Anyway . . . I dunno, we can tell Dadan that your eyes turned yellow 'cause of the sun or something."

Luffy laughed. "That can happen?!"

Ace shrugged again. "Doesn't matter. We're lying."

Luffy's laughter faded. "What about . . . full moons?"

"I'll drag you to the treehouse and tie you up," Ace said. "Or something."

Luffy nodded slowly. "Okay." He pouted. "I don't wanna attack you again."

"Cut that out, I'm fine," Ace said firmly.

* * *

Over the next couple years, they kept up the once-a-month routine, continually hid away Luffy's tail, and made things up to Dadan.

And then Ace had to go.

"Don't leave," Luffy whimpered, clinging to his brother's shirt all the way down to the harbor. "I hate being alone."

They'd found out some time ago that Luffy could not stand being alone for more than ten minutes.

"You'll be fine," Ace assured him, scratching him briefly behind the ears. Luffy closed his eyes before Ace took his hand away.

"Train hard!" Ace exclaimed as he set off. "I'll see you on the open seas!"

Luffy waved goodbye vigorously with Makino and Woop Slap. His hand dropped when Ace was out of sight.

"I miss him already," he mumbled.

Makino smiled gently and scratched him behind his ear. Luffy closed his eyes and leaned in. He had decided to tell her about his lycanthropy not long after his first transformation, because she was Makino and would never hate him or shun him for it. At first she'd been startled, but that had turned to sympathy, and, of course, scratching his ears whenever he came down to the village.

"I'll never understand that weird ear thing you do," Woop Slap grumbled. He hobbled away, muttering something about damn pirates and disgraces under his breath.

"Luffy," Makino said gently, taking her hand away, "I think you should tell Dadan about your werewolfism."

Luffy's eyes snapped open. "Why?"

"Ace is gone," she said softly. "Without him, you might unwillingly attack the mountain bandits."

Luffy frowned. "Oh . . ." he sighed. "You're right . . ."

Makino smiled and ruffled his hair. "Go on back up. I'll be here if she kicks you out."

* * *

Dadan and her mountain bandit crew stared at Luffy. His tail thumped impatiently on the floor as he waited.

And then Dadan rolled her eyes.

"You think I didn't know?" she muttered. "I told the others a long time ago."

Luffy stared at her in shock. "What?! You knew—all of you knew?!"

"You and Ace need to learn to keep your voices down," she snapped. "I overheard you talking two years ago. I've known all along."

"But . . . you haven't kicked me out," Luffy said in surprise.

Dadan sneered. "You think I'm so low as to kick out someone just for being a werewolf?"

"Not to mention," Dogra whispered, "that she heard Ace say that she would kick you out if she found out, and she's so stubborn and determined to prove him wrong—"

Dadan punched him. As he went flying into a wall, she turned back to Luffy, her face pink.

"Anyway," she snapped, "why are you telling me now?"

"'Cause Ace is gone, and I don't wanna hurt you guys on the full moon," Luffy said simply.

Dadan narrowed her eyes. "We'll work _something _out . . ."

* * *

They ended up locking Luffy in the bathroom every full moon.

And Garp found out on his next visit, for Luffy had gotten used to walking around with his tail out. Luffy froze when he saw his grandpa staring at his tail.

"Luffy," Garp said dangerously. "What's that tail?"

Luffy gulped. "It's . . . a prop."

"A prop?"

"For . . . a play."

Garp brightened. "Oh, I see! A play!" he started laughing and Luffy slowly joined in after a moment. Then Garp scowled and hit Luffy hard on the head.

"You think I'm dumb enough to believe that?!" he yelled. "Tell me why you have a tail! You couldn't have eaten another damn fruit!"

"I'm a werewolf," Luffy whispered.

Garp stared at him. "Excuse me?"

"I'm a werewolf," Luffy mumbled.

He stared at the ground, ready for anger, for fists, for "You're no longer my grandson."

Sure enough, Garp hit him over the head again, calling him an idiot and how could he be a Marine now with a damn tail and a dangerous form every month?

"But I'm not a Marine," Luffy mumbled. "I'm a pirate."

Garp glared at him before his gaze softened. "What are full moons like?"

". . . Painful."

Garp sighed and knelt. "You've gotta be extra-careful," he said. "You know that, right, boy?"

Luffy nodded.

"Try not to tell anyone," Garp warned. "Most folks aren't going to see a werewolf kindly."

"I know," Luffy mumbled. "Ace told me. And—" he gulped. "And now—you hate me."

"Hate?! No way!" Garp exclaimed. "Sure, now you have a tail and insatiable bloodlust every month, but you're still my cute grandson!"

Luffy brightened and hugged his grandpa tightly.

* * *

"Bye, Makino! Bye, Mayor! Bye, everyone!"

Luffy headed off in his rowboat, his tail tucked carefully into his pants. Everyone waved farewell as he sailed away.

After punching out the Sea King, the town soon disappeared on the horizon. Luffy settled into the boat and sighed.

"I'm kinda lonely," he mumbled. "But . . . that's okay, 'cause . . . I'm gonna get a crew. Maybe . . . ten people? Sounds good. And they won't be the kinda people Ace told me about. They won't be afraid of monsters. And then . . . I'll never have to be alone again."

He grinned. "Watch out, world! I'm gonna be King of the Pirates!"

After a moment he sighed and lay on his back.

"I'm lonely . . ."

* * *

**I've decided that I want to show Luffy being a werewolf "the whole time" with his crew, so we're continuing this next chapter!**


	66. The Adventures of Werewolf Luffy 1

**I am up at one in the morning watching Magic School Bus episodes. What is the meaning of life.**

**And now, Luffy's pirate adventures... as a werewolf!**

**Non-humans: WW Luffy**

* * *

"WOO-HOO! THAT WAS A GREAT NAP!"

Luffy burst out of his barrel, accidentally knocking out the pirate who'd been about to bust it open. He stretched and looked around. Suddenly his eyes widened and he gasped.

"People!" he exclaimed.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" the other two pirates yelled at him as he climbed out of his barrel. Coby stood off to the side and watched in apprehension.

Luffy grinned happily. "People! I haven't seen people in a long time!" he glanced at the unconscious pirate on the floor. "Isn't your friend gonna catch cold like that?"

"_YOU_ DID THAT!" the other two roared at him, but he had turned to Coby and scooped the boy up in a hug.

"Uh—what?" Coby said, struggling to get out of Luffy's hug.

Luffy put him down and grinned. "Sorry, but it's been so long since I've seen people! Hey, I'm starving. Is there any meat around here?"

"_Listen_ when people are talking!" one of the pirates yelled, and Luffy found himself facing a sword. In just a minute he'd broken their swords and sent them running for their lives.

"So can you show me where the food is?" he asked Coby cheerfully.

"You're—you're a monster!" Coby cried.

Luffy froze, the smile slipping off his face briefly, but it returned soon enough. "Are you okay with that?"

"You . . . what _was_ that? You beat them so quickly!" Coby exclaimed.

"Hey, where's the food?"

"Listen to—where are you going?!"

* * *

"You're not human," Alvida said, narrowing her eyes at Luffy as he looked up at her, sizing her up.

"Nope," he agreed.

* * *

"Er . . . Luffy-_san_ . . ."

Luffy glanced at Coby as they sailed on in the little rowboat.

"I've . . . noticed something moving in your . . . your pants," Coby mumbled. "What is it?"

Luffy shrugged and pulled out his tail. Coby jumped back in surprise and followed it with his eyes as it twitched this way and that.

"My tail," Luffy said, now pointing out the obvious.

Coby gulped. "I . . . I didn't know that Devil Fruits gave you a tail . . . especially not one that doesn't give you animal powers . . . !"

Luffy laughed. "This isn't from the fruit! I'm just a werewolf."

Coby nodded and sighed. "That makes more sense—" suddenly he froze and backed up so quickly he almost fell overboard. "A _werewolf_?!"

Luffy nodded.

"A . . . monster," Coby whispered. "A beast? A demon?! A man-eater?!"

As he freaked himself out more and more with these words, Luffy's tail slowly went between his legs and he turned away from Coby, draping himself over the stem. His tail was drooped.

Coby's voice trailed away and he stared at Luffy, some of the fear dissipating.

He gulped. "Luffy-_san_ . . . ?"

"I was warned that if I told people, they'd think I was a monster," Luffy mumbled, apparently talking to himself. "This is the first time . . ."

Coby slowly crawled forward and touched his shoulder. Luffy turned around and looked at him with yellow eyes.

"I . . . uh . . . sorry," Coby said sheepishly, sitting back. "I've . . . never met a werewolf before. And, uh, you haven't tried to eat me or anything . . ." he gulped. "I'm sorry I said monster."

Luffy smiled and his tail thumped on the boat. "It's okay."

"I mean, you're my first friend," Coby said quietly. "I don't wanna mess that up."

Luffy grinned and they sat back on the boat. "Don't worry about it. I kinda get it. But I'm only dangerous on full moons."

Coby nodded slowly in understanding.

* * *

"So how about it? Wanna join?"

Zoro scowled. "Like I'd ever stoop to a criminal's level."

Luffy frowned. "You're already a criminal, aren't you? You're tied up." He leaned forward and sniffed. "And you don't smell like a bad guy."

"Smell—?"

"Steel . . ." Luffy murmured. "Do you use a sword?"

"Swords," Zoro said. He blinked. "Wait, how did you—?"

Luffy grinned slyly. "I'll tell you if you join my crew."

"I'm not _that_ curious."

* * *

"Weren't you gonna tell me how you knew I was a swordsman?"

Luffy glanced over. He and Zoro were on their way in the tiny sailboat.

"Oh, right," he said. "Well, I smelled steel on you, and I figured—"

"I'm asking _how_ you smelled steel on me," Zoro snapped. "I hadn't used my swords in days, and in any case, no human should be able to smell steel like that in the first place."

Luffy sighed. "Okay, this is gonna get weird." He reached into his pants.

"What are you—?" Zoro said suspiciously.

"Just gimme a sec," Luffy mumbled. "Almost got it . . . there."

He got his tail free and turned to show Zoro.

"Eating a Devil Fruit gives you a tail?" the swordsman said in surprise.

Luffy frowned. "What? No. I'm a werewolf."

Zoro narrowed his eyes and subconsciously moved a hand to a sword.

Luffy, of course, noticed this and smelled the suspicion and apprehension. He sighed.

"I'm a werewolf," he said quietly. "And I can't change that. So if you're the kind of person who can't deal with that, then leave."

He waited. Zoro, of course, noted Luffy's tail was now between his legs like a kicked puppy, and his expression softened.

"I'm sure I've dealt with worse," he said at last. "Besides, if you're only bloodthirsty once a month, that's no big deal."

Luffy's tail started wagging as he grinned. "Thank you!" he exclaimed.

"Yeah, yeah," Zoro mumbled.

* * *

"Oh, right," Luffy said as he and Zoro set sail next to Nami. "I'm a werewolf. You should probably know that if you're working with us."

Nami immediately shrieked and scooted away from him. "Keep your man-eating jaws off of me, you freak!"

Luffy frowned as his tail drooped again. "That was rude."

Nami slowly calmed down.

"You know that werewolves only transform once a month, right?" Zoro reminded her.

She flushed. "Still, it's freaky. I can't believe I'm working with a monster . . ." she frowned, remembering Arlong. "On the other hand . . ."

"What?" Luffy said.

"Nothing," she said quickly. "As long as you don't hurt me, I can deal with this."

He grinned. "Great!"

* * *

"Ah, Usopp, by the way," Luffy said as the small crew sat around their new table. "I'm a werewolf. Just thought you should know."

As Usopp promptly screamed and fell over backwards, Zoro raised an eyebrow and muttered, "You should probably get into the habit of telling people _before_ they're in our crew."

Luffy shrugged. "It keeps slipping my mind." He pulled out his tail, which Nami stared at curiously.

Usopp slowly got back up and aimed his slingshot at Luffy. "Keep . . . keep away, werewolf," he said warningly, though his knees knocked together loudly. Zoro narrowed his eyes and glanced over to see Luffy's reaction, but Luffy simply sighed and put his head down on the table.

"Look, Usopp," Zoro said firmly, giving the kid his best "demon" glare. "If you can't deal with your new captain being a non-human, then you might as well get off this ship right now."

Usopp crumbled under Zoro's glare and slowly sat back at the table.

"Right," he said quietly. "Sorry, Luffy."

He nervously reached out, as if about to pet a dog who had once bitten him, and patted Luffy's head. Luffy slowly sat up and looked at him hopefully.

"You don't mind?"

Usopp nervously shook his head and Luffy grinned, his tail wagging wildly. "Thanks!"

Even though he could still smell the fear on the long-nosed boy, he appreciated the obvious effort his new friend was making.

Nami looked at Luffy curiously. He noticed and glanced over. "What's up?"

"I was wondering . . ." she murmured, and slowly reached over to Luffy's head. Her hand rested on his ear and she started scratching him. He closed his eyes in bliss and leaned into her hand, his tail wagging happily.

"I thought you might like this," she said, smiling.

"Oh, so he's basically a puppy," Usopp said in understanding.

"Sure seems that way," Zoro muttered. "Then again, I suppose he could also be the alpha male . . ."

Usopp glanced at Luffy. "Uh . . . Luffy?"

Luffy was clearly somewhere else. Nami took her hand away and bopped him on the head. His eyes flew open and he looked around.

"What were we talking about?" he said, dazed.

* * *

"Ah, I forgot to mention it again!" Luffy exclaimed as he, Sanji, and Johnny sailed for Cocoyashi. "I'm a werewolf!"

Johnny yelled in surprise and drew a sword on Luffy. "Back, man-eater!" he yelled.

Luffy gave him a look and turned to Sanji. "Is that okay with you?"

Sanji eyed him up and down and sighed. "Honestly, you're probably going to make me stay no matter what I say, so I only have two questions."

Luffy nodded as he casually pulled out his tail (causing Johnny to yelp in fright).

"First off, are you only dangerous on full moons?"

"Only to friends," Luffy agreed. He grinned. "I'm dangerous to enemies all the time."

Sanji rolled his eyes. "And second question, as a cook . . . do you prefer rare meat, like a dog?"

Luffy nodded so quickly Sanji would have feared for his neck if he hadn't been rubber.

"Got it," he said. He glanced at Johnny. "Johnny, was it? Can you put that away? I don't appreciate you threatening my new captain."

Johnny quickly stowed away his sword and scooted away from Luffy.

* * *

"Like a mere human could stand up to _me_!" Arlong yelled, facing Luffy in the court.

Luffy grinned. "Don't worry about that. I'm not human."

"Then what are you?" Arlong snarled. "Besides a rubber-brain."

Luffy grinned. "A werewolf."

* * *

It had been several days since the crew had set sail from Loguetown. They'd all learned of Luffy's love for ear and belly rubs, and had grown somewhat fond of the way his tail clearly displayed his emotions.

And then one morning the men's quarters awoke to find that Luffy was not up for breakfast, an alarming occurrence.

"Luffy?" Usopp said nervously, shaking his friend. "Breakfast . . ."

Zoro came up behind him and eyed Luffy as the boy opened his eyes.

"Not hungry," Luffy mumbled.

"What?" Usopp whimpered. "Oh, no, we need to get to an island and find a doctor _fast_—or better yet, recruit someone—"

"Full moon."

Usopp looked down. "What?"

"Must be the full moon," Luffy mumbled.

Usopp shrieked and backed away several steps. Zoro rolled his eyes and knelt by Luffy.

"When do you transform?"

". . . Night. After sunset." Luffy closed his eyes again.

"Do you need anything?"

"No."

"Want us to leave you for now?"

"Hmm."

"Alright then." Zoro stood. "C'mon, Usopp, breakfast."

Usopp followed him out, throwing another glance back at Luffy, who'd fallen asleep again.

* * *

"Oh, no, that's right, he's transforming tonight," Nami moaned in horror. "Oh, what're we gonna do?"

"I will protect you, my Nami-_swan_!" Sanji declared.

"We'd have to ask him, but I bet we can lock him up or something," Zoro suggested.

"Good idea," Usopp agreed quickly.

Sanji frowned. "So he's not hungry?"

"That's what he said," Zoro said with a shrug.

"He's gonna be extra-hungry tomorrow, then," Sanji muttered. "I'd better get cooking . . ."

* * *

As the sun set, the crew came to check on Luffy. His eyes slid open and he looked at them curiously.

"Sun's setting, captain," Sanji said. "What should we do?"

". . . Lock me up," Luffy said quietly. He sat up and put a hand on his head. "Lock me up somewhere."

"Right," Zoro said. "Can you get up?"

Luffy slowly stood and Zoro helped push him up the ladder and out onto the deck. He got him to the anchor room.

"This fine?" he said as the others followed them, hovering outside the door.

Luffy nodded and sat down. "Please . . . guys . . . don't come in. Please don't come in, whatever happens. I don't wanna hurt you."

"You don't have to tell us," Usopp whispered.

The sun sank beneath the horizon.

"And . . . please don't look," Luffy said. "I dunno what I look like . . . when I'm a wolf . . ." his voice broke. "But I bet it's scary."

"Well . . . good luck," Zoro said at last.

He and the others left, shutting the door tightly behind them. Luffy stood and shoved as many things as he could in front of the door, just in case. He took off his clothes and hat, placed them in the corner, and sat back down as he began to shake.

* * *

Usopp was on lookout duty when he heard the howling.

_Awoooooooooooo_

He shivered and looked at where Luffy was imprisoned.

"I hope he's okay," he mumbled.

_Awooooooooo_

Usopp gulped. "He didn't . . . hurt himself . . . ?"

Now he heard loud whining and scrabbling.

"Okay, nope, staying up here," Usopp said firmly.

_Awoooooooooooooooo_

". . ."

Usopp quietly climbed down and crept for the storage room window.

"One peek," he mumbled. "Just to make sure he's okay."

He steeled his nerves and peered into the room.

He gasped loudly. A large black wolf was pacing around. As Usopp watched in fear, the wolf looked up, saw him, and bared his teeth. With a sharp bark he leapt for Usopp, who screamed and fell backwards, scrambling away.

"Back up," he whispered. "Crow's nest is safer. Werewolf scary."

* * *

Luffy shuffled in for lunch, looking exhausted from the previous night but now recovered thanks to the morning nap. He brightened when he saw the feast in front of him.

"Dig in," Sanji invited.

"You're the best," Luffy said happily. He tore into the food as the others eyed him worriedly.

"So . . ." Nami said nervously. "How was last night?"

Luffy slowed down and his tail drooped. "Usual," he said. He looked at Usopp. "Usopp . . . why'd you look?"

The others turned to stare at him and he held up his arms defensively.

"I kept hearing howling," he protested. "I thought you might've gotten hurt, I just wanted to check—"

"Yeah, your dumb howling kept us up," Zoro grumbled.

Usopp stared at Luffy. "Wait . . . you remember what happened?"

Luffy nodded. "I'm always unconscious during, but I remember everything the morning after." He frowned. "Was I scary?"

Usopp hesitated. "Yeah," he said at last. "You looked scary."

Luffy's tail went slowly between his legs and he sighed. "I'm sorry."

"No, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have looked—"

"What are the transformations like?" Nami asked curiously.

Luffy's tail went farther between his legs. "Painful," he mumbled. "Every time, it hurts a lot."

Zoro noticed Luffy's tail and subtly indicated this to the others. Usopp quickly said, "Hey, it's . . . it's okay, right? 'Cause Sanji can make you a lot of good food the morning after, and we'll all make sure you won't hurt anyone . . . and you're our friend, no matter what."

Luffy's tail curled out again and slowly wagged. He grinned. "Thanks."

Zoro scratched his ear and Luffy closed his eyes happily.

* * *

**This ended up being a lot longer than I expected, so we're continuing this next chapter with the Alabasta saga (and VIVI)**


	67. The Adventures of Werewolf Luffy 2

**On to Alabasta!**

**Non-humans: WW Luffy**

* * *

"Luffy . . ." Nami sighed, slumping to her knees. "Why'd you have to break the Eternal Pose . . . ?"

Luffy folded his arms. "Because," he said. "I don't want to let anyone else decide where we go. Besides, I couldn't figure out that woman's scent."

"What about it?" Zoro asked.

"Scent?" Vivi murmured.

Luffy shrugged. "Dunno. She smelled like . . . secrets."

"Scent?" Vivi said again.

* * *

"I need to let my tail breathe," Luffy said aloud.

Vivi turned to stare at him. "Er . . . pardon?"

Luffy reached into his pants and Vivi nervously took a step back.

"There," he said cheerfully, wrestling his tail free and letting it hang through the hole in his shorts.

"Luffy-_san_!" Vivi exclaimed. "You have a tail?!"

"Yeah," he said, leaning against the railing. "I'm a werewolf."

Zoro and Nami looked over, curious about Vivi's reaction. She and Karoo backed up from Luffy slowly.

Luffy frowned. "Okay, you're probably thinking I'm a monster or something, but fact is we're charged with getting you home, so you're gonna have to put up with it one way or another."

He knelt down, rested his arms on the railing, and put his chin on his forearms, staring out to sea as if in deep thought (though since this was Luffy, deep thought was low on the list).

Vivi looked at Zoro and Nami nervously and quietly approached them.

"You have a _werewolf_ as your captain?" she hissed. "Don't you know that's—_dangerous_?"

They looked at her until she faltered. "W-What?"

"Of course it's a bit dangerous," Zoro said. "But god knows he's the best leader any of us are ever gonna have, and a mindlessly aggressive form once a month isn't going to change that."

"Basically we just lock him up until it's over," Nami explained. "You get used to it." She smiled at Luffy, who was still staring out to the sea. "He's a little bit mopey right now. I bet you can cheer him up by scratching his ears."

"His . . . ears?"

"Yeah," Zoro said. "Like a dog. Go on."

She looked over at Luffy and slowly approached him. He glanced up as she knelt next to him.

"You don't have to say sorry," he said as she opened her mouth. "I'm used to it."

She sighed. "If you say so, Luffy-_san_. By the way . . ." she glanced at Karoo, who was still standing far away from Luffy and keeping an eye on him. "Karoo's afraid of dogs . . ."

Luffy glanced at Karoo, smiled, and waved. Karoo jumped and lifted a wing in response briefly.

Vivi lifted her hand slowly. Luffy eyed it as she rested it upon his ear and began scratching. A relaxed smile appeared and he melted into her hand.

She glanced at Zoro and Nami. They each gave her a thumbs-up and she hesitantly gave one back.

* * *

"Where's Luffy-_san_?" Vivi asked, looking around. "He's usually the first one here . . ."

"Full moon's out tonight," Zoro explained. "He gets ill during the day."

Vivi froze and clenched her cup. "So . . . tonight, he . . ."

"He's gonna be a wolf," Usopp said. "Word to the wise, Vivi, don't look in the window when he's transformed."

She looked at him curiously.

"Don't you worry, Vivi-_chan_," Sanji exclaimed, serving up breakfast, "we won't let him hurt you!"

Vivi slowly nodded.

* * *

"Vivi . . . ?"

Vivi looked out from behind Usopp as he and Zoro made sure Luffy was settled in the anchor room. "Luffy-_san_?"

Luffy looked up and smiled. "Please don't come in. Please don't look in the window unless you have to. And—" he winced. "Please . . . don't be scared."

She nodded, looking at him with worry. "Will _you_ be okay?"

"I'll be okay."

The three left, shutting the door tightly behind them. Vivi threw another worried glance back at it.

"He'll be okay," Usopp said.

"This is only the second time for us, but god knows how many times this is for him," Zoro remarked.

* * *

_Awoooooooo_

Vivi stared at the ceiling, wide awake. Karoo trembled beside her.

"It's okay," she whispered to Karoo. "He can't come in here."

Another howl sent a shiver down her spine.

* * *

When Luffy trudged in for lunch, he naturally noticed Vivi staring at him.

"Are you okay?" he said. "I didn't scare you, did I? I'm sorry about the howling . . ."

She shook her head. "No, no, I'm fine . . . are _you_ okay?"

"I'm fine now," he said, grinning. "Sanji, I'm hungry . . ."

"Coming right up."

* * *

"Besides," Luffy said as they sailed away with Chopper, their new crewmate. "We're _both_ monsters!"

Chopper stared at him curiously. "What?"

"I'm a werewolf," Luffy said, grinning.

Chopper jumped in surprise. "Oh! Is that why you have a tail?!"

Luffy nodded.

"You don't have to worry about danger or anything," Usopp said, plunking himself down next to Chopper and grinning. "He only gets aggressive on the full moon!"

"Yeah," Luffy said cheerfully. "And even then, it's only to . . . humans . . ."

He gasped. "Wait! YOU'RE A REINDEER!"

"Y-Yeah," Chopper said, inching away.

Luffy laughed in delight. "That means you're not in danger when I'm transformed!"

"Oh," Chopper said, smiling in relief. "O-Okay."

"And that means . . . if you could keep me company when I'm transformed . . . I DON'T HAVE TO BE ALONE ANYMORE!" Luffy stood up and held up his drink. "THREE CHEERS FOR CHOPPER!"

"What?!"

* * *

"Yeah, sorry to bother you, but have you seen him around?"

"Monkey D. Luffy?" the old woman read aloud from the wanted poster.

Zoro, Nami, and Usopp stiffened from their hiding spot as they eavesdropped on this stranger.

"He's got a tail," the man said, adjusting his orange hat. "Surely there can't be _that_ many straw-hatted tail-wearing guys running around . . . and I do mean _running_."

"I can't say I have," the old woman said. "But you might try that restaurant." She pointed to the Spice Bean down the street.

"Restaurant, huh . . . ? Perfect, I was just feeling hungry . . . and I bet he _would_ be there. Thanks, ma'am." The man left and strolled down the street towards the restaurant.

"Who was that?" Usopp whispered. "He . . . He knows Luffy has a tail!"

Zoro narrowed his eyes. "And he's got the Whitebeard tattoo on his back. Luffy might be in trouble. Let's go back to the others for now."

* * *

"Ace!" Luffy cried, tears filling his eyes. "Ace . . . is that you?! Is that really you?!"

Ace glanced back as he kept up the fire storm to keep Smoker at bay. "You haven't changed a bit, have you, Lu?"

Luffy tugged out his tail, revealing it wagging fiercely. "Nope! But . . . you ate a Devil Fruit?"

"I'll explain later! Get back to your ship!"

"Right!"

As Luffy turned, he frowned and made a pained expression. "What's that smell?!"

"It's not just me!" Chopper exclaimed, relieved.

"I'm not taking off the perfume," Nami snapped.

* * *

"Ace!"

Luffy had jumped on Ace the second they met in the deserted alleyway.

"Ace, I missed you so much when you left," he cried.

"Alright, get off," Ace sighed. "Your friends ran off somewhere, didn't they?"

"Yeah," Luffy said. "Oh! Ace, guess what?" he grinned. "None of them care that I'm a werewolf!"

Ace grinned. "Good! If they didn't, I might have to hurt them."

". . . Please don't."

* * *

"Thank you for taking care of him," Ace said, bowing politely to the crew. They responded with bows of their own and "It's no problem."

Not long after this, as they sailed along to Erumaru, Ace found himself sitting across the table from Zoro while Sanji washed dishes and Luffy and Usopp played with the water in the bucket.

"Forgive me for asking, but you're the most veteran member, right?" Ace said quietly.

Zoro nodded.

"What did you think of his lycanthropy?"

"Hm . . ." Zoro scratched his head. "Dunno. I mean, isn't everyone a bit apprehensive when first meeting a werewolf or a vampire or something? But I realized he was pretty much harmless most of the time, and I'd already agreed to join, so . . ."

Ace grinned in approval. "Good. Because the second I get wind of anyone on this crew hurting my little bro, I will personally come and remove the offender."

Zoro nodded in understanding.

Ace glanced at his hair and grinned. "Poor Lu doesn't know what he's missing."

"What?" Luffy and Zoro said at the same time.

"What am I missing?" Luffy said indignantly.

"I think you're missing a lot of things," Usopp muttered, tapping his head.

"It's nothing, Lu," Ace said, grinning. "Just kidding around."

* * *

"Geez, Usopp, keep your tongue in your head," Zoro muttered as he pulled Chopper along on a makeshift sled.

"Luffy . . . and . . . Chopper . . . are doing . . . it," Usopp gasped, trekking up the sand. Luffy's and Chopper's tongues were lolling out as they panted.

"Yeah, but _they've_ got tails, so at least they have an excuse. Get your ass in gear, we're not even halfway there."

Usopp groaned dramatically.

* * *

As the Strawhats settled down in their bunk beds in the deserted Yuba, Luffy said curiously, "Zoro?"

"Mm?"

"Why does Sanji call you moss-head?"

Sanji and Usopp snickered. Zoro scowled. "Because he's an asshole."

"But why moss-head?"

"Because his hair is stupid," Sanji said. "You've seen it, you know."

"It's a weird color," Luffy agreed. "But why _moss_-head?"

The others stared at him.

"Luffy, you know what color moss is," Nami said, exasperated. "Put two and two together."

Luffy hesitated.

"Luffy-_san_, moss is green, and Mr. Bushido's hair is green," Vivi said patiently.

Luffy's mouth dropped open and his eyes widened to comical proportions as he turned to stare at Zoro. "YOUR HAIR IS GREEN?!"

"WHAT COLOR DID YOU THINK IT WAS?!" Zoro yelled as the others burst out laughing.

"It looks purple or blue or something!" Luffy exclaimed. "Wow, I didn't know it was green!"

The laughter died down.

"Purple . . . ?" Zoro said blankly. "How could you possibly mistake it for _purple_?"

"Pansy-hair," Sanji muttered.

"Don't you start," Zoro snapped.

Nami frowned. "Luffy, what does my hair look like?"

"Yellow," Luffy said.

"Mine?" Usopp said.

"Black."

"Well, you got that right," Usopp muttered. "What about Sanji?"

"Yellow."

Sanji raised an eyebrow. "Vivi-_chan_'s hair?"

Luffy narrowed his eyes. "Like . . . purple, or . . . blue . . . darker than Zoro's."

"What about me?" Chopper said curiously.

"All yellow except your nose."

Everyone stared at him.

"I'm colorblind," Luffy explained.

"Oh," Zoro said. "Because you're a werewolf?"

Luffy nodded. "I can't see red and green. I barely remember what they look like."

Nami sighed. "Can you tell us these things sooner?"

"Why?"

* * *

"I'm _not_ human," Luffy corrected King Cobra, glancing over to where the old man was crucified. "I'm a werewolf."

The king stared at him along with Crocodile and Robin, though the woman's gaze was more intrigued than anything.

* * *

"Ah," Luffy said as they sailed on from Alabasta. He turned to Robin. "You should probably know that I'm a werewolf."

"So I've heard," she said, her eyes flicking to his tail. "What do you do on full moons?"

"I get locked up while I'm transformed," Luffy explained.

"I see," Robin murmured. She stood and left to take a look at her new room.

Luffy frowned. She still smelled like secrets.

* * *

_And now we go the anime route and pretend there's a lot more time between Alabasta and Skypiea_

"So can we count on you to keep watch?"

Chopper nodded and saluted as Luffy sat against the mast.

"Good man," Zoro said, patting him on the back. "If you're in trouble, hide yourself right away and try to call for help, okay?"

"Okay," Chopper agreed nervously.

Zoro retreated to the men's quarters. Now everyone was in bed but Chopper and Luffy.

Luffy took off his clothes and set them aside. Chopper looked at him worriedly.

"I'm kinda worried . . ." he murmured. "What if . . . I _do_ attack you?"

"I'm strong," Chopper declared. "I can take it! Plus, I can hide."

Luffy grinned. "Okay."

When the transformation began, Chopper stepped away nervously and hid his eyes. And when he opened them again, the wolf was there, standing up. He saw Chopper and growled faintly.

"Hi," Chopper squeaked.

_Who you?_

Chopper breathed a sigh of relief when it became clear that Luffy wasn't interested in attacking him. "I'm Chopper," he said. "I'm a reindeer. Do you know your name?"

The werewolf shook his head.

"It's Luffy."

_Lu . . . ffy._

Chopper slowly nodded and approached him, letting himself be sniffed.

"We . . . can play a game," Chopper suggested.

_Game?_ Luffy said, perking up.

"Tag, or . . . or fetch," Chopper said. "Or we can just talk!"

_Tag?_

Chopper explained the rules and Luffy nudged him in a friendly way. _Yes! Tag is good!_

* * *

When Luffy had finished dressing the next morning, he grinned at Chopper sleepily and headed below deck to get some rest. Chopper followed him and collapsed into his own hammock.

At lunchtime, Luffy swooped Chopper up into a hug.

"What?" Chopper squeaked. "What is it?"

"You're the best!" Luffy cried. "I don't have to be alone ever again! Last night was the first time I actually enjoyed being a wolf, thanks to you! You're so great, Chopper!"

Chopper squirmed in Luffy's arms, blushing. "You—Your praise doesn't make me happy! Jerk! Let go! I don't like this hug at all!"

He hugged Luffy back, clearly contradicting his words.

"We're gonna have to thank you, too," Nami said. "Last night was the first howling-free night."

Luffy grinned happily and Chopper rubbed the back of his neck as if embarrassed.


	68. The Adventures of Werewolf Luffy 3

**Currently having Cheezits and orange soda for breakfast at 11 AM. I am a healthy individual.**

**I couldn't think of many particular moments in Skypiea where Luffy being a werewolf, so this one's pretty short.**

**Non-humans: WW Luffy**

* * *

"Hey, Luffy?" Usopp said as the crew sailed on to Jaya. "If you don't mind me asking . . . how'd you become a werewolf?"

The others looked up in interest. Luffy became quiet.

"Y-You don't have to answer," Usopp said quickly.

"Nah, it's fine," Luffy said. "I got bit when I was five . . ."

He pulled up his shirt to show the faint, jagged scars.

"But for some reason I didn't start transforming until I was twelve," he said.

"Maybe it's a puberty thing," Sanji said.

Luffy looked surprised. "I never thought of that!"

"What was the first time like?" Chopper asked quietly.

Luffy became melancholic. "It was scary," he said softly. "I felt sick all day, and then Ace brought me to our treehouse, and . . ."

"You almost attacked him?" Usopp cried.

Luffy winced. ". . . Yeah. The first time was way more painful than any others. It's a good thing Ace was so strong, even back then. He knocked me out and tied me up."

"He knocked you out?" Zoro said. "How?"

Luffy opened his mouth, but then looked thoughtful. "Huh. I dunno. Anyway . . . I woke up in the morning, and I was back to normal . . . and I remembered I'd almost hurt Ace, and I had a tail, and everything looked weird . . ."

"Oh, color blindness," Usopp said.

Luffy nodded. "But we got it all worked out," he said. "I got tied up in the treehouse every month, and when Ace left, I got locked up in the bathroom."

"Good thing you didn't bite anyone," Sanji remarked.

Luffy grinned. "Yeah."

* * *

Luffy shook his head, slightly dazed, and looked around. His friends were nowhere to be seen.

"Oh, no," he whimpered. "Guys? GUYS!"

He sniffed around, trying to catch a scent, but it was futile.

Luffy started to whimper. He hadn't been alone once since that passenger ship where he'd met Coby, and he'd almost forgotten how horrible the loneliness was. But there it was, the feeling of crushing sadness and hopelessness.

"Okay," he mumbled, standing. "Gotta go find 'em . . ."

He trudged through the jungle. At one point he tried singing a song to cheer himself up, but this was interrupted by a goat-man.

"Oh!" he exclaimed. "A person! Or . . . a goat?"

The goat-man attacked him and Luffy knocked him unconscious within seconds.

"Oh," he sighed. "Now I'm alone again . . ."

"Not as alone as you might think," said a voice from the trees, and Luffy looked up in surprise to see Wyper.

* * *

Luffy sat up and looked around. He appeared to be in some kind of huge, moist cave.

"HELLO?" he yelled. "ANYONE?"

When no response came, he lay down and started rolling around, getting his clothes messed up and dirty in the process.

"I wanna see them . . ." he whined.

* * *

"NAMI!"

"Luffy!" Nami said in shock. "What are you doing in—hey!"

Luffy leapt forward and grabbed her in a big hug, his tail wagging fiercely.

"I missed you," he cried. "I was all alone for so long, and no one was here, and this weird cave was being weird—!"

"Whoa, Luffy, slow down," Nami said, pushing him away gently. She glanced at Aisa, who was currently removing herself from a pile of rubble, and said, "What's going on? How long were you alone for?"

"Me and everyone else were walking together, and then there was an explosion, and we all got separated, and I was so lonely and it sucked and then I got stuck in this weird cave and there still weren't any people and Namiiiiii—"

He hugged her again and she pushed him off.

"Wait, Luffy, that means you were only alone for a few hours at most," she said, frowning.

Luffy nodded sadly. "It was so long . . ."

Nami looked at his tail. "Couldn't be . . . you hate being alone?"

Luffy nodded.

"Is it because you're a werewolf?"

Luffy nodded.

"Oh, like a puppy," she said. She patted his head. "It's okay. We'll go find the others and—"

"A werewolf?!" Aisa screamed.

Nami sighed.

* * *

"Ah, that reminds me," Nami said as they floated down in the octopus balloon. "Guys, Luffy can't stand being alone."

"Like a puppy?" Sanji said.

Luffy frowned. "Why does everyone keep calling me that?"


	69. The Adventures of Werewolf Luffy 4

**There wasn't much to do with WW Luffy in W7, so here's the aftermath of Franky joining the crew. **

**Also, it's probably worth noting that Luffy stopped wagging his tail after Usopp left and didn't really move it vigorously again until he rejoined.**

* * *

"Uh . . . Strawhat?"

The crew had recently departed Water 7. That morning, Luffy lay sick in bed. The others had left already.

Franky nudged Luffy. "Bro Sanji says it's breakfast time . . ."

Luffy groaned and turned over. "Go away . . ."

Franky frowned and headed off to the kitchen.

"Hey, deer-gorilla, I think Luffy's sick," he announced as he sat down.

Chopper looked up in thought. "Tonight's the full moon, right?"

"Yeah," Nami said, barely looking up from her food.

Chopper turned to Franky and shrugged. "That's why."

"What does the moon have to do with . . . ?"

Zoro groaned. "I keep telling him to let people know _before_ they join the crew. Idiot."

"Luffy's a werewolf," Usopp said quietly.

Franky leaned back dramatically. "A werewolf?! You mean—tonight he'll transform into a bloodthirsty beast?!"

"Pretty much," Robin said with a shrug.

"How the hell do you deal with that?!"

"We stay inside, he stays outside," Sanji said calmly. "And Chopper keeps him company, since he only attacks humans."

Franky slowly leaned forward again.

"Come to think of it, that does explain the tail and why he growled so much," he muttered.

"Did that . . . just occur to you?" Usopp said, looking at him strangely.

* * *

Around midnight, Usopp woke up to find Franky peering through the porthole window.

"What're you doing?" he mumbled.

"Just checking on them," Franky mumbled. "Geez, look at those jaws . . . he could tear through flesh, no problem."

Usopp gulped. "Please don't go all Robin on me."

"What?"

"Nothing. Uh . . . you might want to get away from the window. If he sees you . . ." Usopp gulped.

Franky glanced at him, nodded, and stepped away.

"They look like they're having fun," he murmured.

Usopp nodded. "Luffy . . . gets really upset if he's left alone for too long. It's good that Chopper can keep him company."

"Gets upset . . . like a puppy?" Franky said.

"Exactly like a puppy. Speaking of which . . . he likes ear rubs and belly rubs."

* * *

Luffy shuffled in for lunch after the obligatory hug for Chopper. Franky eyed him as he plopped into his seat.

"You . . . doing okay?" he said tentatively.

Luffy grinned and nodded. "Yeah."

Franky cautiously lifted a huge hand and scratched Luffy behind the ear with one finger. Luffy relaxed happily, his tail thumping on the chair.

Later that day, the werewolf was watching Usopp and Franky work.

"Strawhat, can you pass the brown piece?" Franky said without looking up.

Luffy glanced at the pile of pieces next to him—red, pink, brown, and green. He frowned and tentatively selected the pink one, offering it to Franky.

"No, the _brown_ one," Franky snapped.

Luffy put the piece back. "I dunno which one that is," he mumbled.

Franky lifted his goggles and turned to stare at him. He leaned over and grabbed the brown piece.

"This one," he said, pointing to it. "This one is brown. What are you, colorblind?"

Luffy's tail drooped. He quietly went upstairs and out of the shop.

"What's his problem?" Franky muttered.

Usopp gave him a look. "I know you didn't know, but . . . he _is_ colorblind."

"What?!"

"Because he's a werewolf," Usopp said. "He can't see red or green. Apparently pink and brown look the same to him."

Franky's mouth dropped open in shock. "That's . . . so _sad_!" He began to sob as he pulled out his ukulele. "This situation deserves a song: 'Color Lost under the Full Moon!'"

"Cut that out!" Usopp yelled.

"So he can't see all my amazing colors?"

"Guess not."

Franky let out another sob.

"Get over yourself."

"Wait, what does Bro Zoro's hair look like to him?"

"I think he said it's kind of purple."

Franky snickered. "Pansy-hair."

* * *

**(Franky apologized to Luffy later)**


	70. The Adventures of Werewolf Luffy 5

**WW Luffy's adventures: THRILLER BARK (sort of)**

**Non-humans: WW Luffy**

* * *

"By the way, I'm a werewolf," Luffy said as everyone enjoyed the octopus dinner together.

Brook shrieked.

"What are you yelling about?!" Zoro yelled. "Look at _you_!"

"Ah, that's right!" Brook exclaimed. "But still, a werewolf . . . !"

Luffy grinned. "Well, you're probably not in danger anyway. I'm only a threat to humans on the full moon." He gasped. "Wait, that means you could keep me company with Chopper!"

Chopper gulped and eyed Brook nervously.

"I . . . appreciate the sentiment, but I must decline your offer of joining after all," Brook said solemnly. "Not because of what you are, mind you . . ."

* * *

_And then we skip the whole plot of Thriller Bark_

When the first full moon after departing the cursed island came, Brook was surprised to find Luffy ill in bed before being reminded of his lycanthropy.

"Ah, that's right," he said. He patted Luffy's head and left the room.

"He doesn't need anything?" he asked Zoro quietly.

Zoro shrugged. "He always asks us to leave him alone, so I guess not." He eyed Brook. "Maybe you _could_ stay with him. You're not exactly human."

"Excuse me," Brook huffed indignantly, "I may not have flesh on these bones, but my heart is as soulful as ever!"

Zoro shrugged again. "Sure, okay."

* * *

"Brook . . . ?"

Brook and Chopper were waiting outside with Luffy as the moon rose slowly into the sky.

"If it looks like I might attack . . ." Luffy looked at him pleadingly. "Please, get inside right away."

Brook saluted. "As you will, captain!"

Soon Luffy cried out and began to shake. Brook and Chopper turned away.

When they turned back, Luffy had fully transformed and was rising, his yellow eyes looking around. He spotted Brook and growled suspiciously.

"Should I run?" Brook whispered, taking a step back.

"I think you're okay," Chopper whispered. "Let him sniff you."

Brook tentatively held out a bony hand, which Luffy sniffed.

_Who are you?_ He growled. _What are you?_

Chopper translated.

"Ah," Brook said. "Good evening . . . I am called Brook. I'm a skeleton."

Luffy looked at him with bright interest. _Oh! Okay!_

"He likes you," Chopper said quietly.

Brook breathed a sigh of relief, though he had no lungs. "Goodness, that's a relief."

_Can I chew on your arm?_

"What was that?" Brook said.

"He wants to chew on your arm," Chopper said. "Probably because . . . you're all bones."

Brook straightened up indignantly. "Of all the nerve! Luffy-_san_, how could you think of doing such a thing?!"

Luffy's tail drooped. _Oh. Never mind. Are there other bones around?_

"I don't think we have any other bones," Chopper said. Luffy snorted in disappointment.

* * *

When Luffy came for lunch the next day, he happily hugged both Brook and Chopper.

"Thanks," he said cheerfully. "That was fun! Brook, sorry I wanted to chew on your arm!"

Usopp laughed. "What?"

Brook carefully held his limbs out of Luffy's reach. "Yes, well . . . Sanji-_san_, perhaps you could have another bone or two ready for Luffy-_san_, if only to prevent him from going after my limbs?"

"Sure," Sanji said noncommittally.


	71. The Adventures of Werewolf Luffy 6

**Alright, here's the last chapter of WW Lu's adventures! This one takes place not long after Fishman Island.**

**Non-humans: WW Luffy**

* * *

"Yes," Chopper said, holding up the new glasses to the light. "I think . . . I think they're done!"

Franky eyed them. "I hope so. Only way to know for sure is to get him to try them out, right?"

Chopper nodded. He took a deep breath and yelled, "LUFFY!"

Luffy came in a few moments later. "What's up?" he said. "Emergency? Is someone sick?"

Chopper tried to hide a smile and failed miserably, hiding the glasses behind his back. "Well . . . we have a surprise for you . . ."

Luffy leaned forward eagerly. "I love surprises! What is it?!"

"See, Chopper and I studied some interesting things during those two years," Franky said, folding his unnaturally large arms. "Naturally I focused on robotics and machinery, and he did his doctor stuff."

"Human anatomy and optometry," Chopper hissed.

"Yeah, that."

"And we've been working together on this," Chopper said. He held up the glasses. "I _think_ we got it figured out, but we need you to try them on to make sure they really work."

Luffy frowned. "What? I don't need glasses. My eyesight's fine."

"It's not about _that_ kind of vision correction," Chopper said. "Just try them on!"

Luffy took the glasses and carefully placed them on his face, hooking the end pieces behind his ears.

"I don't get it," he said, looking up. "Nothing's different—"

He trailed off mid-sentence and stared at Chopper.

"Chopper . . ."

"Did it work?" Chopper said eagerly.

Luffy reached out and felt Chopper as if he was not quite sure the reindeer was real. "Your fur . . . it's . . . it's brown! This is brown, right?!"

Chopper nodded, grinning from ear to ear.

"And your hat—pink?!" Luffy cried. "Oh, my gosh . . ." he looked over at Franky. "So much _red_! And—and your skin's tan!"

Franky grinned and high-fived Chopper. "Guess they work!"

Luffy's face screwed up and he briefly took off the glasses to wipe away tears.

"Thank you," he said between choked sobs. "Haven't seen color properly—in years—"

He put them back on and looked at his shirt, laughing. "It's red!" He took off his hat and examined it. "And the ribbon's red, too! This feels so nostalgic . . ."

"Go ahead and take a look around the ship!" Chopper suggested. "Can you report back here when you're done?"

Luffy nodded, gave both of them a crushing hug, and ran outside.

"Hey, Luffy," Usopp said. "What's with the glasses? You nearsighted all of a sudden?"

Luffy stared at him happily and examined his overall straps. "They're orange! This is orange, right? Yeah, it is!"

"What about it?" Usopp said. Then he gasped. "You can see color?!"

Luffy laughed in delight. "Chopper and Franky made me these awesome glasses!"

He ran to the railing and stared out at the horizon. "Oh, wow . . . it's so pretty! I was missing this all this time!"

Usopp laughed, happy to see Luffy so delighted by the simple things he and the others saw every day.

Luffy glanced around and spotted Zoro napping by the figurehead. He ran over to him and yelled, "ZORO!"

Zoro awoke with a start and glared. "What do you want? And what's with the glasses?"

Luffy grinned and ran his hands all over Zoro's hair, messing it up. "Your hair's _green_! It's really green!"

Zoro frowned. "The hell are you . . . _oh_." He grinned. "Yeah. It's green."

Luffy plucked at his robe. "And this is green, too! And there's red! And the ship is so brown! And the lawn is green!"

"Go bother Nami for a bit," Zoro said, yawning. "Her hair's orange."

Luffy gasped and immediately ran to the women's quarters. He barged in as Nami was reclining on her bed, reading a book. Robin was resting on her bed as well.

"Nami!" he yelled. Nami immediately stood, marched over to him, and punted him out the door.

"You know you aren't allowed in here," she hissed. Robin came up behind her, looking at Luffy's glasses curiously.

Luffy just grinned at her upside-down. "Your hair's so orange," he said happily.

"Wait—what?" Nami said, startled. "You know it's orange?"

"Chopper and Franky gave me these cool color glasses," Luffy said, still grinning.

"Oh, that's wonderful," Robin said, smiling. "It must be amazing for you."

"It's the best thing ever," Luffy said, straightening himself up. He pointed at Nami's chest. "And your bikini top's green!"

"_And_ that's enough hanging around here," Nami said. "Go bother someone else for a while."

Luffy saluted playfully and monkeyed up to the crow's nest.

"YOU'RE COLORFUL!" he yelled as he popped through the hatch.

Brook almost dropped his guitar. "Why, hello to you too, Luffy-_san_! What was that about color?"

"You're colorful and bright and I like it," Luffy said happily, playing with his feather boa.

"Colorful . . ." Brook spotted the glasses. "Don't tell me . . . you can see colors now?"

Luffy laughed in delight. "It's so cool!"

"Well, I'm very happy for you," Brook said sincerely. "I suppose it was Chopper-_san _or Franky-_san_ who gave you those?"

"Both!" Luffy exclaimed. "Oh, that reminds me, I'm gonna go see what Sanji looks like now!"

He hurried out and bounced to the kitchen.

"Sanji!" he cried, coming to a screeching halt. Sanji looked up from the counter and Luffy pouted.

"Oh, you don't look that different," he mumbled. "But your beard's brown, so there's that!"

"It's called a goatee," Sanji snapped. "And what are you talking about?"

Luffy grinned.

"Oh," Sanji said in understanding. He grinned. "Nice. Does the kitchen look any better?"

Luffy looked around and nodded vigorously. "The table's brown, and the couch is green, and the chairs are red . . ."

"Yep," Sanji said. "Does moss-head have any meaning to you now?"

"Zoro's hair is awesome," Luffy declared.

"Awesome's pretty generous there, but sure," Sanji said.

Luffy grinned and ran back to the infirmary.

"I LOVE COLOR!" he yelled, slamming the door behind him.

Chopper jumped. "Okay! So they work good?"

Luffy grinned widely. "Yeah! Zoro's hair is green, and Nami's is orange, and you're brown, and my shirt is red!"

"Here's what we're gonna do," Chopper said. "I'm gonna give you some color slips and I want you to tell me what they are, just to double-check."

"You're giving me more color to look at?" Luffy said happily. "Okay!"

After the tests, Franky said, "Luffy, sorry, but we're gonna need those back."

Luffy frowned. "Why?"

"We're going to make you a better pair," Chopper explained. "Ones that will stay on your face better, even in battle. Then you can wear them all the time."

"Oh! Okay," Luffy said.

"Or we could make contact lenses," Franky suggested.

"What're those?"

"They're like rounded discs you stick on your eyes instead of glasses," Chopper said.

Luffy frowned. "Glasses, please."

"You got it," Franky said. Luffy reluctantly slid off the glasses and handed them back, looking around sadly.

"At least I remember the other colors now," he said. He brightened. "Maybe there'll be a rainbow soon . . ."

"We'll have the final set ready as soon as possible!" Chopper exclaimed. "Don't worry!"

Luffy grinned and hugged them again. "I love you guys."


	72. Bathtime 3

**Non-humans: WW Zoro, WW Luffy, WW Nami**

* * *

"I hate to bring this up . . ."

Everyone at the table glanced at Robin, who rested her head on a hand and glanced at Luffy, Zoro, and Nami.

"But you three need a bath."

They stiffened.

"No," Luffy said.

"Yes, you do."

"No."

"Saying 'no' doesn't make it so."

". . . It should."

Zoro nodded in agreement.

"After lunch, then," Nami said, casting a meaningful subtle glance at Luffy and Zoro.

When they were finished eating, all three stood up and bolted for the door.

Robin sighed. "I'll go take care of Nami first. Can you guys handle the other two?"

Sanji and Usopp nodded as Robin stood for a casual pursuit of their resident werewolves.

* * *

"Crap, crap, where're we gonna hide?" Luffy said frantically as they looked around the deck.

"Follow me," Nami said quickly. They ran up the stairs and she opened the door to the women's quarters. "Get in, quick."

"In there?!" Luffy exclaimed. "But you never let us go there!"

"You know what they say, desperate times and all that," Nami said. "Just get in!"

They piled in and Nami shut the door behind them.

"Get under the bed or something," she ordered. "And don't you dare touch the boxes."

Luffy and Zoro wriggled underneath her bed. Nami dove next to them and they lay flat on their stomachs, a bit cramped but hidden nonetheless.

"I don't get what's so great about this room that we're not allowed in," Luffy whispered. "What if I wanna visit you guys?"

"We need our privacy from you loons," Nami hissed, her tail twitching. "Now shut up, will you?"

"This place smells like perfume," Zoro complained.

Nami tapped his shoulder irritably. "Get used to it, we might be here awhile."

They waited quietly, Luffy fidgeting every so often.

And then the door opened.

"There wouldn't be any little werewolves hiding in here, would there?" they heard Robin say as they saw her feet slowly move forward.

She stopped right next to the bed. "I'm sure there's nothing under the bed, but maybe I should check, just in case."

She knelt and found the three staring at her nervously.

"Well, what do you know," she said, smiling.

She reached under and dragged Nami out from under the bed. The navigator was kicking and protesting the whole way.

"You're first," she said sweetly, holding her tightly. "And you boys are next."

"Luffy, Zoro, go find another hiding place," Nami exclaimed as she was dragged away.

They glanced at each other and wriggled out from under the bed.

* * *

The bathwater was still warm when Robin opened the door and brought Nami inside.

"I don't wanna," Nami mumbled, staring at the water apprehensively.

Robin used her power to forcefully undress her. "You'll have to one way or another. You used to bathe every day; what happened to that?"

Nami sighed as she pushed away Robin's hands and did the last of her clothing herself. "I dunno. I just hate baths now. Just the _idea_ . . ." she scowled.

Robin picked her up and set her in the tub. Nami drew her knees up to her chest while several hands sprouted behind her, grabbed brushes, and started scrubbing gently. She made a face.

"Just relax, it'll be over soon," Robin said gently. "I'll scratch your ears after this."

Nami perked up. "Really?"

"Really."

She smiled.

* * *

When Nami was all toweled off and dressed, Sanji and Usopp came in, dragging Luffy and Zoro behind them.

"They were hiding under your bed, Robin-_chwan_," Sanji explained. "My deepest apologies for the intrusion."

"No problem," Robin said, amused.

"I told you idiots to find a different spot!" Nami snapped.

"It was a different bed," Luffy mumbled, squirming as Usopp tried to get his shirt off.

"I meant a different _room_!" She sighed. "Well, anyway, good luck with the bath thing. I'm out."

She followed Robin out the door as Sanji started threatening Zoro with no alcohol for a week if he didn't get ready for a bath right then.


	73. Spray Bottle

**Ashlielle requested holy water spray bottle!**

**Non-humans: Vampire Sanji, Vampire Zoro, Vampire Luffy, Vampire Robin, Vampire Usopp**

* * *

As Nami came out on deck, the vampires looked up from where they lay on the grass.

"Evening, Nami-_swan_," Sanji said weakly. They hadn't hit a town for a week, and since Usopp was essentially dependent on blood packs and Nami could only be drunk from once every couple days (according to Chopper), they were practically running on empty.

"I don't suppose you came to give us some blood?" Robin asked hopefully, eyeing her neck.

Nami scowled. "Maybe later. I just came out to test this." She held up a spray bottle full of clear liquid.

"Uh . . . we're not cats," Zoro said.

"But we can turn into cats," Sanji mused, staring up at the stars.

Luffy gasped. "I totally forgot about that! We can be cats at any time!"

He seemed to struggle for a moment before giving up. "Maybe I don't have enough energy . . . Nami, c'mon, gimme some blood . . ."

"Come near me, I dare you," she said, threateningly raising the spray bottle.

"Fine, I'm too thirsty to be scared of a little water," Zoro snapped. He sat up and started crawling towards Nami, but she raised the bottle and sprayed one of his arms.

Almost instantly he yelled and fell back, clutching his arm. "God-FUCKINGDAMMIT, that BURNS!" he yelled. "What the fuck is that?!"

"Holy water," Nami said, holding up the bottle. "Anyone else want to try? Come at me!"

They eyed the bottle nervously as Zoro settled back into his previous spot, clutching his arm with a scowl.

"Nami . . . we're literally starving here," Usopp groaned weakly. "And I can't drink from you, but can't you spare some for the others . . . ?"

Nami frowned. "I get it, you guys are thirsty. But I'm only one human. I can't always be ready with a blood supply."

"We understand," Sanji said softly.

Nami sighed. "I'll see if I can convince Chopper to let you guys drink once a day instead of every other day. As much as I hate being bit . . ."

They looked at her with shining eyes.

"You're a lifesaver," Luffy whispered.

"So . . . now?" Zoro said hopefully.

"Sure, fine," Nami said. "I'm going to sleep soon anyway. Who's gone the longest without a drink? Sanji-_kun_, it was you, right?"

Sanji sat up hopefully.

"Just a bit," she said warningly, holding out her arm. "Otherwise I'm raising your debt through the roof."

"Thank the heavens, thank you, Nami-_swan_," Sanji whispered. He bit gently into her wrist and the others looked on jealously as he drank.

"That's enough," Nami said firmly, and Sanji quickly withdrew. She studied her now-clean wrist. "I know I've said this before, but thank _god _you guys can heal the wounds."

"Cool vampire powers," Luffy said lazily.

"Yeah, whatever. G'night," Nami said, standing and taking her spray bottle with her.

As she went back inside, the others sighed.

"Her blood tastes heavenly as always," Sanji whispered.

"I'm so thirsty," Zoro muttered.


	74. Modern-Day: Vampire Sanji 1

**Oh my god this is now my most-reviewed fic. I love you guys.**

**Ashlielle requested a modern AU with Vampire Sanji!**

**Non-humans: Vampire Sanji**

* * *

The Bastille Day sun had long sunk beneath the horizon when Sanji was taking a stroll around the streets of town. Technically, he was seventeen and should have been inside since it was past the city curfew, but he figured that he could pass for eighteen with the stubble on his chin. Plus, his great-uncle Zeff was still awake and would surely chew him out if he came home then, for Sanji was sure that Zeff thought he was in bed upstairs. No, best to wait until the old man was asleep.

He entered the plaza and looked around. Spotting the coffee place, he strolled in to find the staff straightening up the counter.

"We're closing up soon," one of the baristas said brusquely.

Sanji offered her a grin. "Sorry, but can I trouble you for a small cup? Black."

She tried to hide her scowl and got him his drink in a paper cup, shoving it at him after snapping on a lid.

"Have a nice night," she muttered.

"Thanks," he said, strolling back out.

The coffee was bitter and lukewarm. He finished it off in no time and tossed it in a can as he left the plaza.

Aimless walking led him to a residential area, well-lit by the streetlights. Every window was dark, the ones closer to the ground showing Sanji's reflection as he walked by.

As he started to turn a corner, he nearly bumped into someone—a man, perhaps college-age—and caught himself just in time.

"Sorry," he said quickly, trying to move on, but the man moved to block him.

"Spare some change?" he asked.

"I don't have any cash, sorry," Sanji said. It was true—he'd spent his last few pocket bills on that coffee.

The man laid a hand on Sanji's shoulder. "C'mon, be a pal."

"Who the hell says pal anymore? I told you, I don't have anything. Go away."

As Sanji turned to face the man, he heard a noise behind him all too late. A callused hand covered his mouth and another wrapped around his torso. He struggled and tried to bite at the hand to no avail.

The man in front of him, grinning, knelt and seized his legs, hoisting them up so that he and his partner behind Sanji held him helpless in the air. Moving carefully, they got him across the grass of a nearby house and through a side door, where they passed through a garage and into a room with a cement floor.

Sanji caught a glimpse of the room: There were three other people in the room. They stood around a chalk pentagram decorated with strange symbols on the floor. Each person stood with a candle on either side of them, and two spaces were left open.

The two carrying Sanji became one, and the teen was slammed roughly against the wall as one of them left, only to return soon. Sanji felt the metal cuffs snap his wrists tightly together, and then a similar pair was locked onto his ankles. Both cuffs were then tied together with rope, effectively hog-tying Sanji.

He was scooped up and thrown into the middle of the pentagram. He futilely struggled as the two who had carried him took their places.

"Hey, he needs to be a virgin," someone said suddenly. "The book said a virgin sacrifice or it won't work."

"Are you a virgin?" someone else asked Sanji quickly.

Sanji stared at them incredulously. "What the fuck is wrong with you people?"

"He's a virgin," they muttered.

"I am _not_, and that's not even what 'virgin sacrifice' means—"

The man who Sanji had run into on the street approached him and stuffed his mouth with a wadded cloth, preventing him from crying out. As Sanji tried to spit it out, his captors raised their hands and began to chant as one.

During their chant, the pentagram began to glow. The candles flickered, and Sanji's eyes darted around nervously.

But when the chanting was over, and the glowing had faded, nothing happened. Sanji twisted his head this way and that and finally managed to spit out the cloth.

"You sick Satan-worshipers," he hissed.

"What the—that was supposed to kill you!" one of them cried.

"Oh, shit, he's seen our faces, what do we do?!" another exclaimed fearfully.

"Damn cowards," Sanji muttered.

"W-We'll have to kill him for real now," someone said. "I have knives upstairs—"

The sudden sound of sirens outside made them all fall silent. A minute later they stopped and there was the sound of heavy footfalls accompanied by a knock on the door.

"Shit, I got this," the first man muttered. He hurried out of the room and they heard him open the garage door.

"Evening, officers," they heard. "Can I help you?"

The officer said something they couldn't make out.

"Kidnapping? You must have the wrong guy . . ."

"HELP!" Sanji yelled. "THEY TRIED TO KILL ME!"

The next several minutes were something of a blur. Sanji was freed and his captors were taken into custody for attempted murder. After reluctantly giving the police his address and number, Sanji was driven home and escorted to his front door by the police.

"Yeah?" Zeff said as soon as he opened the door. He stared at Sanji, who glanced away nervously.

The officer gave him a debriefing. Zeff's shocked expression became more pronounced with every sentence.

"Anyway, he was out after curfew, but considering what happened, and that this is a first offense . . . just make sure it doesn't happen again. Have a good night, sir."

The officer left. Zeff scowled deeply at Sanji.

"Get in, boy," he snapped. Sanji followed him inside.

"What the hell were you thinking?" he yelled. "You're lucky you're alive! Curfew's in place for a reason, boy! What if you had been killed?! I wouldn't have known because I didn't know you were out of the house! You goddamn idiot, think a little next time . . ."

As usual, Sanji folded his arms and kept his mouth shut through the rant. It was always over sooner that way. Sure enough, Zeff ran out of steam and sat back in his chair.

"I'm glad you're fine, at least," he said gruffly. "Those weirdos didn't do anything?"

Sanji shrugged. "The star thing glowed, but it must have been a party trick. I'm fine."

"Good. Now it's past midnight, so get to bed." Zeff stood and headed upstairs. Sanji followed, turning out the light as he went.

Oddly enough, when he shut his blinds and got to bed, he wasn't feeling too tired. It took him a few hours to fall asleep.

* * *

When he was summoned to breakfast the next morning, he was exhausted and just wanted to go back to bed, but of course Zeff would kill him if he didn't show up, so he dragged himself downstairs to the kitchen.

"Didn't you get enough sleep, eggplant?" Zeff asked, glancing at him. "You look like shit."

Sanji scowled. "So do you, and I have to deal with that _every_ day."

"Ah, shut it," Zeff muttered. Sanji glanced at his hands, turning them over. His skin seemed oddly pale. He yawned heavily.

"And that's why you don't stay out after curfew," Zeff said smugly, bringing the scrambled eggs to the table on two plates.

"Shut up, I just couldn't get to sleep for a while," Sanji snapped.

Zeff glanced at him and hesitated, staring at his visible eye.

"What now?"

"Thought I saw . . . well, never mind, I must've been imagining it. Anyway, eat some breakfast, it'll perk you up."

"Things that taste like shit don't perk me up," Sanji said, sticking out his tongue childishly. Zeff pulled his eyelid down in response.

Sanji lifted a forkful to his mouth and took a bite, but he spat it out almost immediately.

"Holy—what the hell did you put in this?!" he demanded. "It actually tastes like garbage!"

"That's enough lip from you," Zeff said warningly.

"Uncle Zeff, I'm serious, it tastes god-awful! Is this a punishment?"

Zeff kicked his leg under the table. "I'm warning you . . ."

"Listen to me, damn it," Sanji snapped. Zeff frowned when he saw Sanji's eye again, but Sanji plowed on. "I know I always say your food tastes bad, but I'm serious this time. It. Tastes. Like. Absolute. Shit." He took a deep breath of the food. "It smells great, but it tastes awful! So what the hell!"

"I swear your eye's red," Zeff said thoughtfully.

"What?" Sanji said, staring at him. "Must be a weird light trick."

Zeff frowned. "Now it's blue again . . ."

Sanji rolled his eyes. "Anyway. I can't eat this shit. I'm more thirsty than hungry, anyway."

Zeff scowled deeply. "You need to eat breakfast," he said threateningly. "I'll get you some water, and you can insult my food all you want, but you're eating it whether you like it or not."

He grabbed a glass of water for Sanji and slammed it in front of him. Sanji scowled at his eggs before taking a tentative bite. He almost gagged, but forced it down.

"Don't get dramatic on me," Zeff muttered. He took a bite of his own meal and Sanji was incredulous to see that Zeff seemed to enjoy it.

He managed to choke down the rest of the meal and gulped down the water afterwards, though oddly enough his thirst was not quenched.

"I'm going . . ." he yawned. "Going back to bed. I'll come down later."

He pushed back his chair, dumped his dishes in the sink, and shuffled for the stairs. Zeff looked at him with faint worry.

* * *

Sanji woke up a few hours later with a horrible feeling in his stomach. He sprang up and stumbled out of his room, heading straight for the bathroom and passing the old man on the way.

"What the—?" Zeff said, startled, but Sanji just staggered into the bathroom, slammed the toilet lid up, and violently vomited his breakfast into the bowl. He heaved a few times before sitting back and weakly flushing away the contents. He got up again and leaned heavily against the counter, his legs shaky with post-vomiting stress. He splashed his face clean and rinsed out his mouth.

"Believe me . . . now, old man?" Sanji muttered, turning to face him with a glare.

Zeff stared at Sanji. Rather, he stared at the bathroom mirror behind Sanji.

"What now?" Sanji asked, briefly glancing behind him. "Look, old man, either your cooking actually has gone to the dogs or something's seriously wrong with my taste buds—"

He froze and slowly turned his head again, the rest of his body following. The mirror behind him showed Zeff, frozen in shock; the walls, the sink faucet, the door; everything but Sanji.

"What . . . the hell . . ."

Sanji pressed his hands against the mirror as if that would make his reflection appear.

"The fuck," he muttered, almost scared now. "Mirrors can't just—stop working . . . old man, is this a prank? Some kind of trick mirror, right?"

He looked at his hands and down at his feet. "Still here . . . so why . . ." he glared at the mirror. "Why am I not _there_?!"

He balled his hands into fists and pounded them against the mirror. "Why . . . ?"

"Hey. Eggplant."

Sanji turned to Zeff. "Get this damn mirror fixed, old man," he muttered. "This is really freaking me out."

"Don't tell me you're . . ." Zeff hesitated. "It's far-fetched, but . . . you look so pale . . . you couldn't keep the food down . . . and now you're not showing up in the mirror . . ."

Sanji stared at him and laughed out loud. "Come on. No way. Vampires aren't real."

"Want to test that, then?" Zeff challenged.

"Yeah," Sanji said. "If only to get that stupid idea out of your stupid head."

"Weather's been warm lately," Zeff said. He beckoned to Sanji, who followed him. He opened the front door and stepped outside into the sun, and Sanji followed suit, but he hissed when the light hit his skin directly and hastily retreated.

Zeff raised an eyebrow.

"Uh . . . must be _really_ hot out," Sanji said lamely, starting to feel uncomfortable.

"Mm-hm," Zeff muttered. He went back inside and closed the door, much to Sanji's relief. "I wonder if you can handle a cross."

He went upstairs and returned a minute later with an old crucifix pendant. He held it up near Sanji's face, and his nephew's eyes widened as he fell over and scooted away.

"What do you know," Zeff muttered.

"You . . . you startled me . . . that's all," Sanji said, eyeing the cross.

"Right," Zeff said. He slowly brought the cross closer to Sanji's face, and Sanji sucked in a sharp breath and scooted away again, backing himself against the wall. He shut his eyes in fear when the cross was an inch away from his nose—

And then Zeff withdrew and stowed it in his pocket. Sanji opened his eyes and, realizing what he'd done, how nervous he'd felt about the cross, became increasingly uncomfortable.

"Still in denial, eggplant?" Zeff said, kneeling next to him.

"I'm not some monster," Sanji snapped angrily, his eyes glowing red.

"Your eye's red again," Zeff pointed out.

Sanji blinked in surprise, the red fading. Then he scowled again. "Stop making stuff up."

Zeff left and returned soon with a digital camera. Before Sanji could move, he held up the camera and snapped a picture. When he showed the screen to Sanji, the picture showed the wall, but not the teen.

"Your aim is horrible," Sanji muttered, his gut twisting in on itself anxiously.

"How long are you going to deny it?" Zeff snapped. "You've been staring at my neck for a couple minutes now. You said you were thirsty earlier . . ."

Sanji blinked hard and glared at Zeff eye-to-eye. "I was _not_."

"Open your mouth. Let me check your teeth."

Sanji reluctantly pried his lips apart. Zeff leaned in curiously.

"They seem normal . . ." he muttered. "But . . ."

He tapped hard on the canine teeth, and they suddenly extended like sabers.

"What the _fuck_!" Sanji yelled, his voice muffled. After a minute his teeth retracted to a normal size.

Zeff pressed a hand to his nephew's chest and waited. He looked at Sanji. "No heartbeat."

Sanji felt his own chest and around his neck. "No . . . pulse . . . ?"

They stared at each other.

"I was right," Zeff muttered. "Damn it . . ."

He got up and helped Sanji up.

"Damn it, I didn't want to be right," he muttered.

"A vampire," Sanji said to himself. His eyes widened. "That means . . . I have to drink blood . . ."

"Well, it's not like I'm going to let you starve," Zeff said. He held out his arm and Sanji stared at it.

"I . . . no, I'm not doing this," he said, taking a step back. "This is too weird."

"You'll have to eventually, won't you?" Zeff snapped. "I'm not feeble. Just take some blood."

"No," Sanji said. "I won't. I won't do this."

"You're an idiot," Zeff said angrily. "I don't know how vampire bodies work, but as far as we know you might die—permanently—if you don't have blood."

Sanji ignored him and stomped upstairs, slamming his door behind him.

"Stupid kid," Zeff muttered.

* * *

"A vampire."

Sanji stared at his hands. "A shitty vampire . . ."

He clenched his hands. "Damn it."

* * *

Sanji had slept the days away and wandered the house in the nights for a week. He was clearly becoming weaker with the lack of blood, but Zeff didn't say a word about it, even though they saw each other at dawn or dusk most days.

One evening, shortly after the sun set, Zeff came into Sanji's room to find the teen lying on the bed, his eyes closed. Since he had no heartbeat or breath, it was impossible to tell if he was living or dead.

"Hey, eggplant," Zeff said sternly. Sanji weakly opened his eyes.

"You don't look good," Zeff remarked, kneeling by his bed.

"Old man . . ." Sanji whispered weakly. "I . . . can't take it . . . please . . ." he winced. "Blood . . ."

"If you make me pass out, I will kick your ass," Zeff promised. He offered up his wrist to Sanji and Sanji latched onto it. His fangs popped out of their own accord and he bit down and began to suck thirstily.

When Zeff began to feel dizzy, he tapped Sanji's head with his free hand. "That's enough, knucklehead."

Sanji slowly let go, the cuts closing themselves as he did so, and his fangs retracted. He blinked and dropped Zeff's wrist, sitting up and checking his motor skills.

"Wow," he murmured. "I feel . . . way better. God, that was delicious . . ."

He looked at Zeff in alarm. "Shit, I didn't hurt you, did I?"

"Nothing some juice and sleep won't fix," Zeff said gruffly.

Sanji put his head in his hands. "I actually did it . . ."

"Might as well get used to it, huh?" Zeff said. "I'm off to bed, now. You do your thing."

He shuffled out of the room down the hall to his own chamber. Sanji lay back on his bed and stared up at the ceiling.

* * *

Over the next month and a half, Sanji learned of and made use of his new abilities. Through awkward trial-and-error, he and Zeff discovered his memory-wiping and controlling techniques. On his own time, Sanji found his shape-shifting abilities, and successfully turned himself into a bat, cat, and toad, startling his great-uncle when he first showed off his bat transformation. During a visit to his aunt and uncle, he found that he could not enter someplace without an invitation, much to Zeff's amusement.

He became used to late-night/early-morning strolls, for Zeff now allowed him to walk outside after curfew as long as he was careful—and of course, he needed others to drink from, because whatever Zeff said, he was old and Sanji couldn't drink from him all the time. The vampire was very careful about choosing his victims: They had to be alone, preferably somewhere where Sanji could take them to a secluded area, and according to his morals, he avoided drinking from women, children, and the elderly whenever possible.

Sanji also found that he had taken on a love for counting things, but this was not a terribly strong urge, and it was easy to ignore if he had something more important at hand.

And then September came around.

* * *

**Alright, this is a two-parter, the second chapter will be up soon enough.**

**By the way, the thing with the retractable fangs will just apply to the modern AU. In the OP world, they're just slightly longer than normal.**

**And if anyone wants to request modern AU stuff after the next chapter, it will be set in this universe, with the same characters/relationships. For example, if WW Zoro is requested and not Vampire Sanji, Sanji is still living with great-uncle (grunkle) Zeff, just not as a vampire. Does that make sense?**


	75. Modern-Day: Vampire Sanji 2

**Continued from previous chapter...**

**Non-humans: Vampire Sanji**

**Modern AU**

* * *

"You have to go to school."

Sanji scowled. "I don't want to."

Zeff scowled right back. It was almost midnight and the old man had stopped Sanji before the usual nightly stroll/victim hunt in order to discuss his education.

"Look, boy, the fact is you need an education, I'm not qualified to homeschool you, and there aren't any night schools in the area."

"How the hell am I going to get an education if I'm falling asleep in class?" Sanji demanded.

"I can fake a doctor's note," Zeff suggested. "Say you have insomnia or narcolepsy or something."

"Those . . . are almost completely opposite from each other . . ."

"Point is, we'll think of something," Zeff snapped. "One way or another, you're going to school."

"Won't it be suspicious if no one sees me eating at lunchtime?" Sanji argued.

"Just say you already ate or something, stupid. We're not discussing this any further. I need to get to bed and _you_ need a drink."

"Do not," Sanji mumbled.

"You're staring at my neck again."

Sanji quickly tore his eyes away. "Was not."

Zeff rolled his eyes. "Just—go do whatever you do. G'night."

He left the room. Sanji sighed and headed out the door.

* * *

Due to district changes, Sanji would be attending a different school for his senior year. After slathering on sunscreen, he headed out the door, yawning heavily.

He waited at the stop for a while before the bus finally rolled up and he hopped on, taking the first empty seat he saw. He was determined to avoid making friends this year. If they ever found out what he was . . .

A couple stops after his, two guys—sophomores, by the looks of them—got on and sat together in the seat adjacent his.

They chattered to each other excitedly for a while (well, one of them seemed excited, the other was quieter) before looking at Sanji.

"Hi," one of them said cheerfully. He was wearing a straw hat on his black hair, a red vest, and blue shorts. He had a small, faint scar under his left eye. "Who're you?"

Sanji looked away. "Don't talk . . . to me," he said shortly, yawning.

"Luffy, he's tired, leave him alone," the other guy (who had dark skin and a strangely long nose) murmured.

The guy who was evidently called Luffy frowned, but turned back to his friend instead of bothering Sanji further. Sanji listened in and learned that the long-nose's name was Usopp.

* * *

"Hey. Are you dead?"

Sanji sat up, yawning, and squinted at the person who'd woken him up. It was that kid Usopp from earlier.

"Oh, thank god you're alive," Usopp said in relief. "I mean—" he gestured to a table a few tables away. "Me and my friends saw you, and Luffy and I recognized you from earlier, and it didn't look like you were breathing—"

"Shut up," Sanji said, and Usopp fell unwillingly silent. Before he could realize what was happening, Sanji quickly broke the control by glancing away. "I mean . . . sorry. I was just sleeping."

"Oh."

They stared at each other for a moment. Usopp shuffled his feet.

"You wanna . . . come sit with us?" he asked nervously. "I mean, you're all by yourself here . . ."

"No," Sanji said. "I just want . . . to sleep." He yawned again.

"Usopp, hurry up," said Luffy, popping up behind his friend. "Hey, blond guy, aren't you coming to sit with us?"

"No," Sanji said again. He considered using his powers to force them to walk away, but quickly pushed the idea out of his mind.

"Please," Luffy pleaded.

"Fine," Sanji snapped. He stood, stretching and yawning, and reluctantly followed the two back to their table. Already there was a guy in Sanji's grade with green hair, a redhead junior girl, and a burly, tan freshman with a blue nose.

He greeted the girl with a smile before putting his head back down on the table and trying to sleep again.

"Hey, get up!"

He sat up and glared at Luffy, who had shaken his shoulder.

"I am _tired_," he hissed.

Luffy stared at his face. "Is your eye red?"

Sanji blinked hard, trying to calm himself down. "No . . . sometimes the light does weird things."

"Like make that stupid eyebrow?" the green-haired guy suggested.

Sanji turned to glare at him. "What was that—moss-head?"

The guy stared at him. "It _does_ look awfully red."

Sanji looked away.

"Are you going to tell us your name?" the girl asked.

"Of course, how rude of me!" Sanji exclaimed, smiling happily at her. She seemed startled by this sudden change in demeanor. "My name is Sanji, my dear! And what name have the heavens bestowed _you_ with?"

". . . Nami," she said, raising an eyebrow.

"A beautiful name, perfect for a beautiful lady," Sanji cooed.

She scooted away from him. "You guys should introduce yourselves, too," she said quickly.

Sanji sat back in disappointment as the others said hello. Luffy and Usopp he already knew. He learned that moss-head's name was Zoro and the burly freshman's nickname was Chopper (he had a strangely high voice for someone of his size).

"Alright, now we're all friends," Luffy said happily.

Sanji groaned. The one thing he had promised himself he would avoid this year.

"Aren't you gonna have lunch?" Chopper asked. Everyone at the table had food in front of them except Sanji.

"I ate earlier," Sanji lied, yawning, but his stomach growling gave him away.

Usopp raised an eyebrow and pushed his food towards him. "Here, have some fries."

"No, thanks," Sanji said quickly, licking his lips in thirst.

"C'mon—"

"I'm not hungry," Sanji snapped.

"Fine," Usopp said, reluctantly taking his food back.

"Didn't sleep well?" Nami asked sympathetically at another yawn.

"I have insomnia," Sanji mumbled.

"Man, that sucks," Usopp said. "Maybe you _should_ sleep."

Sanji scowled. "That's what I was _saying_."

He laid his head back on the table and was asleep within a minute.

Zoro frowned. "I _swear_ he's not breathing . . ."

* * *

When Sanji finally got off the bus, he headed straight home, threw his backpack on the ground, and found his great-uncle.

"Blood," he said, sitting next to him at the table. "I'm so thirsty."

Zeff raised an eyebrow at him. "Couldn't you drink from someone at that school? How was your day, by the way?"

"Do you know how hard it'd be to get someone alone at school?" Sanji snapped. "Shut up and hold still."

Zeff froze in place as Sanji grabbed his arm and bit down, drinking the blood he sucked up.

When he was finished, he closed the wounds and broke his control.

"Sorry," he mumbled. "I've been exhausted all day."

Zeff scowled. "Go sleep upstairs. And do your homework before you go out tonight."

Sanji scowled back and stormed up to his room, slamming the door behind him.

* * *

Usopp sighed as he tossed and turned in his bed. It was about three in the morning and he'd woken up a few minutes ago with the inability to go back to sleep.

"I wonder if insomnia is catching," he mumbled to himself.

Something outside caught his eye and he got up and crawled to the window, resting his head on folded arms on the sill.

He raised his eyebrows. Sanji—it had to be Sanji, who else had that hairstyle or that suit—was slowly strolling down the street.

Of course, this was odd, because Sanji had said earlier that he had insomnia . . .

Usopp narrowed his eyes and quietly continued to spy. As he watched, someone else—a man, by the looks of it—came walking by Sanji. Sanji stopped, turned around, and said something.

The man stopped. Sanji said something else and the man started walking across the street. Sanji followed him, keeping his eyes on his back.

As Usopp watched, the two entered a gap between the houses across the street. Sanji cast a glance around before turning his attention back to the man. He took hold of the man's torso and placed his mouth over his neck.

Usopp stiffened. Was Sanji . . . in a relationship with that man? Was he making out with his neck?

Usopp looked away for a minute. When he looked back, Sanji still had his mouth on the man's neck, in the same place.

What if . . .

Sanji finally withdrew. The man backed up and seeming tried to run, but stumbled as if dizzy. Sanji seized his shirt and pulled him back into the alley-like gap. He brushed his hand over the man's forehead and the person collapsed, apparently unconscious.

Usopp hid himself as much as possible while keeping a horrified watch on the scene. The man was large, and Sanji seemed to have trouble holding him. Nevertheless, the blond managed to drag him across the street to—

There was a knock on the door.

Usopp's mom was a heavy sleeper, and so it was up to him to sneak downstairs in his bathrobe and open the door.

"Oh," Sanji said nervously. "Usopp. I—uh, didn't realize you—lived here."

"H-Hi," Usopp said, his legs shaking. He stared at the unconscious man in Sanji's hands.

"Right, uh," Sanji said, glancing down, "I was on a walk—sometimes that helps me sleep, y'know?—and I found this guy passed out on the street."

Usopp stared at him. "And . . ."

Sanji scratched the back of his neck. "Sorry, but . . . think you can keep an eye on him? I live too far away to drag him all the way to my place, and I can't really leave him outside . . ."

"Sure," Usopp whispered. Sanji gave him a grateful smile. Working together, they got the man onto the living room couch.

"I'll be off," Sanji said, yawning. "G'night."

"Bye."

When he left, Usopp went to the window and made sure he was out of sight before sitting in a chair and staring at the floor.

Sanji hadn't acted like he'd known the man. He'd kept his mouth over his neck for an awfully long time. The man was unconscious now. Insomniacs normally didn't walk around at night.

His eye'd been turning red earlier . . .

Usopp had to clap a hand to his mouth to stop himself from screaming.

No way. No way . . .

A _vampire_?

* * *

It was several minutes before the man finally awoke. He was confused and after timid questioning, Usopp found that the last thing he remembered was being on a walk before waking up here. Usopp quietly explained that someone had brought him here. The man thanked Usopp before leaving to head back home.

Usopp went back to his room, but he was unable to sleep that night.

* * *

When Usopp and Luffy got on the bus the next morning, Luffy sat in the seat next to Sanji again, and of course Usopp sat next to him. He looked at Sanji nervously. The blond seemed to be fast asleep. Usopp watched him for some time and realized that he actually _wasn't_ breathing.

"Usopp, something wrong?" Luffy asked.

"Nothing," Usopp mumbled.

* * *

When lunchtime rolled around, Sanji sat with them again. Like yesterday, he had no food, and like yesterday, he was yawning.

"Oh, Usopp," he said suddenly.

Usopp jumped. "What?" he squeaked.

Sanji frowned. "Calm down. I . . ." he yawned. "Only wanted to ask . . . is that guy okay?"

Usopp narrowed his eyes. ". . . Yeah. He went home after he woke up."

Sanji breathed a sigh of relief. "Good."

"Guy?" Zoro asked.

"I found someone . . . unconscious last night," Sanji explained. "I brought him to the nearest house, which happened to be Usopp's, so . . ."

"I thought you said you have insomnia?" Chopper asked curiously.

"Yeah," Sanji said. "Sometimes midnight strolls help me sleep."

"I've never heard that before," Nami remarked.

Sanji smiled at her. "I suppose you learn something new every day," he said, reaching across the table as if to take her hand.

"Get away from her!"

Everyone turned to stare at Usopp, who was glaring at Sanji. Sanji slowly drew back his hand.

"Something wrong?" he asked.

Usopp stiffened. "N-No."

Sanji shrugged. Luffy raised an eyebrow and stared at his friend curiously.

Maybe he was being silly, Usopp thought. Maybe he needed more proof.

"H-Here, have some food," he said, pushing the rest of his fries towards Sanji.

"I ate earlier," Sanji said, yawning. "No, thanks."

"What's wrong?" Usopp challenged. "Scared?"

"Scared of _what_?" Sanji demanded.

"Just take some if it'll make him shut up," Zoro muttered. Usopp shot him an annoyed glance. Sanji sighed and reluctantly took a few fries. Usopp watched as Sanji popped them into his mouth, chewed, and swallowed. He didn't realized that Sanji had to struggle to keep a neutral face and not gag on the putrid taste of the potato.

"Happy?" he said.

"I . . . guess," Usopp said. He quietly scooted away from Sanji a few inches.

* * *

"Usopp, where're you going?" Luffy called as Usopp ran off in the direction of the bus.

"Don't worry about it! I have a mission!" Usopp yelled. "If I don't make it back alive, I leave everything to you and my mom!"

"Okay!" Luffy called, used to his friend's theatrics.

Taking a few shortcuts, Usopp hid himself behind a bush as Sanji got off the bus. He quietly snuck about in whatever foliage he could find, tailing Sanji as sneakily as he knew how.

But when he looked away for only a minute, Sanji vanished.

He blinked. Where had he gone? He cautiously climbed out of the bushes and looked around the street.

"Hey."

He nearly jumped out of his skin and whipped around to see Sanji.

"Why are you following me?" Sanji asked, yawning. "If you need something, you don't have to be so creepy about it."

Usopp hesitated. "I wasn't following you . . ."

"You're not subtle," Sanji snapped. "I could hear you from a mile off."

Usopp hesitated again, and Sanji looked like he was about to say something when his eyes widened. He fell to his knees, turned his head away, and vomited onto the sidewalk. Usopp nervously knelt by him. Up close, he caught a faint smell of sunscreen.

Sanji coughed before straightening up shakily. "I'm going home," he muttered. "You go home, too, unless you need to talk about something."

Usopp shook his head and Sanji was on his way again. After a minute Usopp ran down the street back to his house.

* * *

He was hardly able to sleep that night. On the bus the next morning, as Sanji slept next to him and Luffy, he quietly took out a digital camera and snapped a picture of where Sanji sat.

"What're you doing?" Luffy asked.

"Just a sec," Usopp muttered. He checked the playback and gasped. Sanji was not in the picture.

He quickly put the camera away and scooted as far away from Sanji as possible, squashing Luffy into the side of the bus.

"Usopp?"

"Sorry," Usopp whispered.

Not showing up in a picture, walking around at night, pale skin, vomiting after eating, red eyes, and apparently drinking someone's blood . . .

Well, that was all the proof Usopp needed. Now, as for telling the others . . .

* * *

It took about a week for Usopp to work up the nerve to tell everyone, as well as find what he needed. Though his friends had become quite comfortable with their friend Sanji at the table, Usopp kept a watchful eye on the vampire to make sure he didn't get too close to anyone.

Finally, one day at lunch, Usopp cleared his throat loudly. Everyone looked at him.

"I . . . I have an announcement," he said. With a nervous look at Sanji, he declared, "Sanji's a vampire."

Sanji stiffened as everyone stared at either Usopp or him.

"Sure," Zoro said. "Anyway, Luffy, what did you—"

"Listen to me!" Usopp exclaimed. "He didn't show up in a picture I took! And we saw his eye turning red, and he threw up the day I made him eat those fries, and he never breathes, and he walks around at night, and he has pale skin, and—"

"You're being ridiculous," Sanji said quietly.

"And I saw you drink that guy's blood," Usopp finished dramatically.

Sanji's eye twitched. "What?"

"That night, I was looking out my window," Usopp said. "You—you hypnotized him or something, and made him go into that alley, and you put your mouth on his neck, and then he passed out after you did something with your hand—!"

"You've got quite the imagination," Sanji remarked coolly, looking at Usopp. Usopp gulped, reached into his backpack, and thrust a crucifix at Sanji.

Sanji's eyes widened and he scooted away.

"See!" Usopp said triumphantly, looking around at the others.

"You startled me is all," Sanji lied.

Luffy frowned. "If he's a vampire, how can he be in the sun?"

"Sunscreen," Usopp said.

Zoro snickered. "Sure."

Usopp grabbed Sanji's arm and pressed the cross into his sleeve. The vampire cried out in pain and Usopp withdrew the cross.

Sanji rubbed his arm and scowled. Chopper frowned and leaned over to touch the thing.

"It's not hot or anything," he said slowly.

Everyone eyed Sanji curiously. He shifted in his seat.

"I . . . I bet you don't have a heartbeat," Usopp said. "Mind if we check?"

"Yes."

"Why's that?"

"Because I'll tell you," Sanji said. "I don't have a heartbeat."

The others went silent.

"No pulse, either," Sanji continued. He opened his mouth and tapped on his canines, and they extended. Everyone jumped and he retracted them, closing his mouth again.

"So yes, Usopp, you're right," Sanji said. "I'm a vampire."

Usopp gulped and scooted away. Zoro raised an eyebrow, Luffy's eyes were wide with excitement, and Nami and Chopper stared in shock.

"There's only one reason you'd announce it to everyone like this," Sanji said. "You want me gone, don't you?"

"Y . . . You're a monster," Usopp whispered. "A creature of the night . . ."

Sanji's eye briefly flared red but quickly returned to normal.

"Yeah," he said. "I guess I am. I told you not to talk to me the first day. I wish you'd listened. Then you wouldn't have to deal with this." He sighed. "This is why I didn't want to make friends this year."

He got up. "I'll go, then. I need to get some sleep—I'm nocturnal, did you know? Because I'm a monster and all. See you around."

He left the cafeteria.

"We're safe now," Usopp said in relief.

"A vampire," Chopper whispered. "I've never met a vampire before . . ."

"Usopp," Luffy said quietly.

"Y-Yeah?" Usopp said.

"What the hell was that for?!"

Usopp stared at him. "What?"

Luffy frowned. "He's our friend! Who cares what he is?"

"Yeah," Zoro agreed. "I mean, it's kind of creepy, sure, but it's not like he's hurt us."

"But—"

Nami frowned thoughtfully. "And didn't you say he drank from that guy? And then he made sure the guy was okay before he left?"

"Yeah," Usopp said slowly.

"And he seemed so sad when you called him a monster," Chopper said softly.

Sure enough, the more Usopp thought about it, the more he realized that Sanji probably wasn't dangerous at all.

"Oh, crap," he mumbled.

"If Sanji's not back here tomorrow, I'm blaming you," Luffy promised. "Go apologize! And then ask him about his cool vampire powers!"

"I'm doing the first thing," Usopp said. "You can do the second when he's back here tomorrow."

Luffy grinned and nodded. Usopp jumped up and ran out of the cafeteria.

He found Sanji in the library, resting his head on his arms face-down.

"Hey," he whispered, sitting next to him. Sanji looked up. Evidently he hadn't gone to sleep.

"I . . ." Usopp gulped.

"Do you think I wanted this?" Sanji said softly. "I never asked to be turned. I never asked to be a _monster_."

The last word was spat with venom.

"Look, you and everyone else don't have to talk to me ever again," Sanji said. "I won't bother you."

"I'm sorry," Usopp whispered.

"For what?"

"I'm sorry I called you a monster," Usopp said quietly. "I mean . . . except for a few things, you seem normal."

Sanji rolled his eyes. "Sure."

"Really, I'm sorry!" Usopp whispered. "I mean, you always hear bad stuff about vampires, but I thought about it and I realized you weren't evil at all! You're just . . . you."

Sanji looked at him curiously. "Alright," he said slowly. "Apology accepted."

Usopp smiled in relief. "I still . . . I still wanna be friends with you," he said. "And everyone else does, too. Luffy said he wants you back at the table tomorrow."

Sanji's eyebrows lifted in surprise. "What kind of guys . . . ?"

"The kind who doesn't care what someone is," Usopp said. He frowned. "Except me."

Sanji smiled faintly and patted his arm. "I . . ." he blinked hard. "You guys actually still want to be friends . . ."

Usopp gave him a nervous grin.

"Thank you."

* * *

"Can you fly?"

"Yes."

"Show me!"

"Not now, it's broad daylight . . ."

Sanji had to deal with Luffy getting off at _his_ stop and following him home, asking incessant vampire questions. Though he was happy to have found friends, he was less happy to have to deal with being stalked.

Before Luffy could ask another question, Sanji whirled around and snapped, "Here's a 'cool vampire power' for you: _Shut up_."

Luffy fell unwillingly silent. He moved his mouth, but no words came out. He stared at Sanji in wonder and slight indignation.

Sanji sighed. "Sorry," he mumbled. "Look, just . . . go home. I'll spill the beans at lunch tomorrow."

He glanced away, breaking his hold over Luffy, and Luffy was delighted he could talk again.

"That was cool," he whispered. "Cool vampire powers, cool vampire friend . . ." he grinned and waved. "See you!"

Sanji grinned fondly at his retreating back before turning to head back to his own home to catch some sleep before night fell.


	76. Modern-Day: Vampire Sanji 3

**FFN was down last night, so I couldn't post this until now.**

**This is the last thing of this for now. **

**Continued from previous chapter...**

**Non-humans: Vampire Sanji**

**Modern AU**

* * *

When Luffy and Usopp boarded and sat on the bus the following day, Luffy enthusiastically waved to Sanji, while Usopp offered a nervous grin and a small wave. But Sanji saw none of this, for he was fast asleep.

"Oh, yeah, he said he was nocturnal," Usopp murmured.

Luffy grinned. "Vampire thing, then . . . that's so cool!"

"Poor guy, having to go to school in the day," Usopp said quietly.

* * *

Sanji showed up for lunch and sat at the table with his friends, albeit a bit tentatively. When they offered him reassuring smiles and greetings, he relaxed and returned the gesture.

"So, a vampire," Nami said conversationally, though she seemed somewhat apprehensive.

Sanji nodded. "That's me, I guess."

"My baby sister would love that," Zoro remarked thoughtfully.

"Sister?" Sanji said hopefully.

"She is _seven_, asshole."

Sanji held up his hands in a peace gesture.

"Do you really drink blood?" Chopper asked in nervous fascination.

"Yeah," Sanji admitted. "Whenever I can."

"Wait, so . . . you can't eat normal food?" Luffy asked in horror.

"I wish," Sanji muttered. "Everything tastes like shit."

Luffy grabbed his hands and stared into his eyes in deep sorrow. "You're so strong to live through this," he whispered.

"Let go," Sanji snapped, shaking him off. "And 'live' is a pretty loose term here."

"Then . . . what would you say?" Usopp asked curiously.

Sanji shrugged. "Survive? I guess I'm pretty much a high-functioning zombie."

Luffy stuck his arms out in a parody of horror films. "Braaai—I mean, blooood," he droned.

"Cut that out."

"Zombie blondie," Zoro said under his breath.

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

"Wait," Luffy said excitedly, "how _old_ are you?"

"Seventeen."

Luffy leaned in. "How long have you been seventeen?" he whispered.

Sanji looked up in thought. "Well, I'm eighteen in March, does that help?"

"Are you immortal?" Zoro asked, trying to cut to the chase.

Sanji made a face. "How should I know? I've only been like this since this summer, and I dunno if I want to find out."

"Then . . . how did you become a vampire?" Nami asked.

He made a face at the memory as the others looked at him curiously.

"Satan-worshipers, or something," he said. "I was on a walk one night and got kidnapped by some assholes . . . threw me in a chalk pentagram, chanted some weird shit, the pentagram starts glowing . . ." he sighed. "Apparently it was supposed to kill me as some sort of sacrifice. They were going to kill me for real when the cops showed up and chucked their asses in jail. I went home, and . . ."

He sighed. "Well, by the time lunch came around, me and the old man had pretty much figured it out."

Luffy watched him with wide, interested eyes, eating his french fries like popcorn at a movie theater.

"I didn't want to believe it," Sanji continued. "But there was too much proof. The sun, the photograph, the dead heartbeat, getting sick from the food, the cross . . . in any case, I didn't drink any blood for a week. Then I finally couldn't take it, and the old man let me drink from him. After that, it was easier . . ."

He trailed off, glanced up, and shrugged. "That's about it."

"Wow," Chopper whispered.

"You're amazing, to go through all that," Usopp said quietly. "Hey . . . you can control people, can't you?"

"Yeah, a bit," Sanji said. "I can't make people say things, but I can control some movements."

"Show us!" Luffy exclaimed.

"I showed you yesterday," Sanji said with a frown.

"Do it again!"

Sanji looked at Usopp. "Stand up."

Usopp's legs jerked and he stood up from the table against his will.

"What—wh—" he squeaked.

"Don't speak," Sanji commanded, keeping his gaze fixed. Usopp went quiet as the others watched in interest.

"Sit down," Sanji ordered, and Usopp sat back down. "Hold up your right hand, palm facing Luffy."

Usopp obeyed with wide, fearful eyes. Luffy saw the opportunity and high-fived Usopp.

"Alright," Sanji said, looking away, and Usopp's arm dropped back to the table, his body slumping briefly before he straightened up.

"Sorry," Sanji said apologetically. "Was that weird?"

Usopp stared at him indignantly. "_Yes_, that was weird! Never do that again!"

"No, do that again, that was funny," Zoro said.

Sanji looked at him and grinned slyly.

"Oh, no," Zoro said, shaking his head. "No, you don—"

"Shut it," Sanji ordered, and Zoro fell silent. He glared at Sanji and flipped him off.

"Put that finger down, moss-head, don't be so _rude_," Sanji said. Zoro's finger went down again.

"You're right, this _is_ funny," Sanji said, grinning. Zoro could only glare and clench his fists.

"Fine, fine," Sanji muttered. He looked away and Zoro promptly smacked his head. Sanji kicked him under the table and soon they were engaged in a childlike under-the-table war.

"You two may be the oldest here, but you're both children," Nami commented.

Sanji yawned, which allowed Zoro to get a good kick in. He glared at Zoro before turning pointedly to the others. "Does anyone mind if I sleep now?"

They shrugged, so he laid his head on the table and fell fast asleep.

"I wonder if he has a coffin at his house," Chopper whispered.

"I'll follow him home and find out!" Luffy exclaimed.

* * *

"Stop following me," Sanji snapped without turning around.

Luffy frowned. "Aw."

* * *

Late that night, Sanji was stalking the streets as usual. He was more than ready for a drink, but he had yet to run into anyone.

He passed by Usopp's house, paused, and glanced up at the windows. No one was watching him; the residents must have been asleep. Sanji shrugged and went on his way.

He was considering just heading to the plaza to see if he could get anyone alone _there_ when, about to round a corner into a cul-de-sac, he heard a door squeak open and close. He froze and hid himself around the corner. Peeking around now, he spotted someone coming out to the sidewalk, their back to him and starting to walk down. Good.

Sanji crouched to the ground and, with a small puff of smoke, turned into a cat, the creature with the quietest paws. He trotted quickly and silently to the person, planning to turn back when he was close enough and catch them—

But then his would-be victim turned around and Sanji was startled to see Luffy's face staring at him curiously.

"Kitty," Luffy exclaimed softly, grinning. He bent down and picked up the shocked Sanji in his arms, holding him close. "Aw, you're so soft . . . I'm gonna call you Tortellini!"

Sanji hissed in annoyance and transformed back. Luffy fell to his knees and stared at Sanji, curled up in his arms and glaring at him.

"Okay, first off, who the hell names a cat after pasta?" Sanji demanded.

"Sanji?!" Luffy exclaimed, letting go of him. "Oh my gosh, is that a vampire power?!"

"Yes, you idiot, and _second_, who goes around picking up str—random cats?" Sanji demanded, straightening up, embarrassed. Luffy stood as well, grinning.

"I like cats," he said simply. "So what were you doing here?"

Sanji rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "That's my line. I'm nocturnal, so at least I have an excuse, but _you're_ like fifteen, and it's well past curfew. At least _I_ can pass for an adult."

"I was just gonna walk around the cul-de-sac and then go right back in," Luffy protested. He gasped. "Were you gonna drink my blood?"

Sanji looked away. "You're lucky I realized it was you," he muttered. "Sorry."

"No, do it!"

"Hm?"

Luffy pointed to his neck far too eagerly. "Drink my blood!"

Sanji swallowed nervously. "Luffy, come on . . ."

Luffy frowned. "Why not? You were gonna do it before, and now I'm saying you can, plus you're probably thirsty. So do it!"

Sanji hesitated.

"Fine," he said at last. "Come on, let's not do it out in the open . . ."

He led Luffy to the gap between Luffy's own house and the neighbor's place on the right. The place was well-shadowed.

"Take as much as you want," Luffy said cheerfully, "but don't kill me, okay?"

Sanji stared at him. "Right . . . how about you tell me when you get dizzy?"

Luffy nodded. Sanji moved forward, held him, and sank his extended fangs into Luffy's neck. Luffy twitched but said nothing.

Several minutes passed before Luffy tapped Sanji's shoulder. Sanji withdrew, the cuts closing, and looked at Luffy.

"Thank you," he said gratefully, sighing in contentment. "You okay?"

Luffy grinned and gave him a thumbs-up. "Never better!"

"Alright, go back to bed," Sanji said. "See if you can get some juice or bread in you before you sleep."

Luffy saluted and strolled away to his front door. He almost tripped on the steps, but righted himself and made it inside.

Sanji watched him go before getting himself back on his course. He circled the cul-de-sac once before heading back out.


	77. Werewolf Vivi

***eats ice cream for breakfast* I'm good at adulting**

**Thanks to animelovergirl123 for helping out with this chapter!**

**robemperor01 requested WW Nami turning Vivi!**

**The part of this chapter before the first linebreak is not long before Vivi joins their travels.**

**Non-humans: WW Zoro, WW Luffy, WW Nami, WW Vivi**

* * *

"Nami?"

Nami glanced up to see Usopp looking at her with some alarm. "What's up?"

Usopp pointed to her leg, oozing drops of blood. "Are . . . are you okay . . . ?"

"Oh, don't worry about it," Nami said unconcernedly, getting back to bandaging the wound.

"What happened?"

"Well, there was a scuffle in town," Nami explained, tying off the cloth, "and I got out and ran away . . . felt something on my leg after I escaped, and then I realized I was bleeding. Maybe I got scratched by some thorns earlier."

"Thorns? Hey—what if that wound's infected?" Usopp said nervously.

Nami shrugged. "I doubt it. I mean, I _did_ pass out for a bit . . . and threw up a little . . . but I'll start worrying if the area goes green or something."

As she strolled out, Usopp called after her, "That sounds like something to worry about _now_!"

* * *

_Three weeks later_

"So they're going to . . . transform . . . tonight?" Vivi said cautiously at breakfast. Only she, Usopp, and Sanji were present.

"Yeah," Usopp said. "In the meantime, we just let them rest."

"Vivi-_chan_, where's Nami-_san_?" Sanji asked. "I wouldn't want to start breakfast without her . . ."

Vivi shook her head. "She said she isn't feeling well and doesn't want breakfast."

"What?!" Sanji cried. He ran out of the kitchen and downstairs to the women's quarters to find Nami sleeping.

"Nami-_san_, Nami-_san_, my love, open your eyes!" he cried dramatically. Nami turned over, opened her eyes, and glared at him.

"Go away," she mumbled. "I'm tired."

"Are you sick? Should I call for a doctor?" Sanji babbled. "Can I do anything for you, my sweet?!"

"Prob'bly just a cold," she mumbled. "Where would you even find a doctor . . . ? Just go away, I'm tired . . ."

"I'll bring you crackers and water later," Sanji promised, retreating up the steps.

* * *

That night in the women's quarters, Vivi looked up at the deck nervously, where Luffy and Zoro were locked in the storage room as they prepared to transform.

"It's a bit scary," she admitted. Karoo quacked in agreement.

Vivi glanced at Nami as she sat up, shivering. "Nami-_san_?"

"Hot," she murmured, pulling off her shirt and skirt and sitting on the edge of the bed. "My skin . . ."

Vivi stood and approached her, checking her over in the dim light. "Should I get Usopp-_san_?" she offered. "Or I could go up and get Sanji-_san_ . . ."

Nami suddenly gave a great shudder and hissed in pain, trembling violently.

"Nami-_san_—?"

Vivi backed away as Nami's body changed: Her head lengthened, her limbs shifted, and orange fur sprouted all over—

Karoo squawked in fear and backed into a corner as the orange wolf looked up at him and Vivi with fierce yellow eyes and a snarl.

"What?" Vivi whispered. "Nami-_san_, you too—?"

Nami sprang at her and Vivi dodged, pulling out a peacock string and attacking. A shallow gash appeared on Nami's side and she yelped before turning back to Vivi aggressively.

"Nami-_san_, please stop!" Vivi cried. To her surprise, Karoo squawked loudly and flew down in front of her, shielding her from Nami.

"Karoo, what are you doing?!" Vivi cried. "Move!"

Karoo trembled, but held his ground and squawked angrily at Nami, who growled in response.

"You leave Karoo alone!" Vivi exclaimed, throwing out another string, slashing Nami's muzzle. "Sorry, Nami-_san_!"

This time Nami yelped, snarled, and headbutted Karoo out of the way before leaping and knocking Vivi to the ground.

"Nami-_san_—!"

Nami bit into Vivi's shoulder, drawing blood, too much blood—Vivi screamed and clutched her shoulder. Thinking fast, she curled her legs up to her torso and booted Nami off.

"What the _hell_ is going on?" Usopp demanded, throwing open the emergency exit in the wall. "I keep hearing weird noises and now a scream, are you two okay—?"

He promptly screamed when he saw Nami standing near the stairs and Vivi, clutching her bleeding shoulder.

"Usopp-_san_," Vivi said, starting to cry just as she lost consciousness.

"Oh no, oh no," Usopp said frantically, breathing hard as Nami looked at him with glowing yellow eyes. "How did this happen—?"

Thinking fast, he climbed into the room, drew his slingshot, and fired a rotten egg at Nami. As she whined, her sensitive nose overpowered by the sulfur, Usopp hurried to Vivi.

"What's going on?!" Sanji yelled, bursting through the door and running down the steps. "I heard a scream—!"

He saw Nami, shaking her head as she cleared the stench from her nostrils, and Vivi, slowly regaining consciousness while Usopp helped her sit up.

"Sanji, thank god," Usopp said with shaky relief, glancing back at him briefly. "Nami, she—she—"

He gestured to her and turned back to Vivi just as she threw up over her shirt. He rubbed her back comfortingly.

Karoo hurried to Vivi, squawking, and Sanji looked at Nami, who was just about ready to attack again. She turned, saw Sanji, and growled threateningly.

"Usopp, get Vivi-_chan_ to our room, I'll hold back Nami-_san_," he said abruptly. Usopp nodded and helped Vivi get through the emergency exit with Karoo. She managed some of it herself, holding her shoulder in pain.

Nami began to charge after them—

"Stop!"

Sanji jumped in front of her. She looked up, snarled, and jumped for him. He dodged as Usopp slammed the emergency exit shut.

"Nami-_san_, I don't really get why you're like this," Sanji said, speaking calmly even as Nami tried to tear a chunk out of him. "I don't know if you can understand me, but if you do, please listen. I'll have to—"

He did a backflip out of the way. Nami skittered to a stop and turned around.

"I'll have to leave you in here alone," he continued. "I wish I could keep you company, but despite my love for you, I don't fancy being torn apart. Goodnight, my love!"

He jumped for the stairs, hurried through the trapdoor, and slammed it shut. There was a banging and then a faint whine. Sanji choked back a sob and ran to the door to the men's room.

"How's Vivi-_chan_?" he asked, jumping down the hole, disregarding the ladder entirely.

"I'll be fine," Vivi said through gritted teeth. She and Usopp (checking her shoulder) were sitting on a hammock. Karoo was trembling on the floor next to them, listening to Nami growling and whining next door.

"My poor princess," Sanji exclaimed, getting a look at the wound. "We need to clean and bandage that right away."

Vivi nodded and allowed Sanji to take her up the ladder.

When they returned, Vivi's shoulder was bandaged. Usopp gave her one of Zoro's shirts to replace her dirty one and he and Sanji looked away as she put it on.

"Sorry, it's Zoro's, so it might be gross and sweaty," Usopp apologized. Vivi smiled and shook her head as Sanji snickered.

Her smile faded. "Why is Nami-_san_ . . . ?"

Usopp and Sanji looked at each other.

"We dunno," Usopp admitted. "She must've not known either, otherwise she would've made sure no one was around her at night . . ."

"We'll have to ask her tomorrow morning," Sanji said, casting a sympathetic glance to the women's quarters where they heard Nami pacing around restlessly.

"But . . ." Vivi hugged herself. "Does this mean . . . I'm a werewolf now . . . ?"

"Oh, _shit_," Sanji exclaimed.

"Crap, that's right," Usopp said. "Oh, god, Vivi, we're so sorry—we're supposed to be protecting you and all, and now this's gone and happened—"

"It's . . . it's fine," Vivi said cautiously. "As long as . . . it doesn't effect a failure to save Alabasta . . . as long as I can still stop the rebels and Sir Crocodile, it doesn't matter."

"Oh, Vivi-_chan_, you're so brave," Sanji cried, swooning to the floor. Everyone in the room, Karoo included, looked at him with clear uncaring for his dramatics.

"I guess transformations will be painful, and Karoo . . ." Vivi looked at her duck. "Karoo might be afraid of me . . ."

"Oh, yeah, he doesn't like dogs," Usopp remembered.

Karoo pressed his head against Vivi's leg comfortingly.

"Thank you, Karoo," Vivi murmured, patting him. He squawked softly.

"Vivi, if you're sure you don't need anything else . . . let's go back to bed," Usopp said, yawning.

"I should get back on watch," Sanji added. "Vivi-_chan_, you may sleep here tonight, if you wish—Usopp, don't you dare try anything."

"What? I wouldn't," Usopp protested.

"I know you wouldn't," Vivi said reassuringly. "This is very kind of you. Thank you."

"It's not like you could sleep anywhere else, except maybe the couch in the kitchen," Usopp pointed out as Sanji left to resume watch. "And these hammocks are really comfy, I promise!"

Vivi smiled and stood to take another hammock as Usopp settled back into his own. "Goodnight, then."

"G'night," Usopp mumbled.

* * *

Nami clutched her head as the memories poured back like a dam had burst in her mind. She stared at the wall, feeling like she was going to burst into tears at any moment.

With shaking legs, she stood, checked the already-faint gashes on her side and nose, and pulled on her underwear, skirt, and shirt, letting her orange tail (though to her it looked blonde) hang out underneath. After a moment's hesitation, she fell back into bed, got under the covers, and went to sleep, exhausted from last night.

* * *

"So, uh . . ."

Lunchtime had come around and Luffy and Zoro were awake, waiting for the food to be ready.

"What were all those noises last night?" Luffy asked. "Where's Nami?"

"And why're you wearing my shirt?" Zoro asked Vivi.

"Sorry," she said quickly. "Mine got dirty . . ."

"Bad news and good news," Usopp announced. "Bad news is Nami's a werewolf, somehow, and she attacked Vivi last night. Good news is Vivi's okay and her shoulder's gonna be fine. We let her stay in our room last night."

At Luffy and Zoro's shocked exclamations, Vivi quickly showed them the bandages and assured them it wasn't too bad.

"Since when was Nami—?" Luffy began, but then Nami entered the kitchen, her orange tail flicking from under her skirt and yellow eyes wet.

"Nami-_san_!" Sanji and Vivi exclaimed at the same time.

"I'm so sorry, are you okay?" Vivi asked, getting to her before Sanji. "I had to attack you, I'm sorry—"

"What are you apologizing for?" Nami demanded incredulously, tears finally spilling over. "_I_ was the one who attacked _you_! And I'm barely hurt, but you—!"

"Nami-_san_, it's okay," Vivi said, pulling her into a hug, to her surprise. "It's okay. I'm fine. You obviously weren't yourself."

She pulled away and Nami rubbed at her eyes. "You must have been scared . . ." she glanced at Usopp and Sanji. "You guys, too . . ."

"Well, yeah, but I'm always scared," Usopp admitted.

"I would never be afraid of you," Sanji declared.

"Sorry for firing an egg at you, though," Usopp added.

Nami smiled at last. "It worked, didn't it? God, that smelled _awful_."

"Nami-_san_, please sit down," Sanji said gently. "You must be hungry. Lunch is ready."

Nami sat down, looking around and eyeing Zoro's hair with narrowed eyes.

"Uh . . . we're still missing something here," Zoro pointed out as Sanji brought the food to the table. "When were you bitten?"

Nami frowned. "I'm not sure . . . what happens when you're bitten?"

"You faint and puke," Luffy said as he dug into his meal.

"Ah!" Nami exclaimed. "I'd gotten caught in a crowd scuffle, and I found my leg bleeding later . . . I'd thought it was thorns, but . . ."

"Must've been a werewolf in the crowd and they accidentally got you," Usopp reasoned.

Nami nodded slowly. "Makes sense. I should have realized earlier . . ." she sighed. "Vivi, I'm so sorry, with this happening when we need to protect you, not endanger you . . ."

"It's fine," Vivi said reassuringly.

Nami smiled, but then frowned as she looked around the room. "So _this_ is colorblindness? How do you two stand it?"

Luffy and Zoro shrugged.

* * *

"Chopper, are you sure . . . you're fine with this?"

Chopper was out on deck with Luffy, Zoro, and very nervous Nami and Vivi behind the mast.

"Yeah," Chopper said bravely. "I can run if it gets dangerous."

"Please do," Nami murmured from out of sight, trembling. Vivi shivered beside her.

Chopper backed away as the four started transforming.

When he came back, four wolves faced him: One black, one green, one orange, and one blue. He sighed with relief when none showed aggression towards him.

_Who you?_ Luffy growled suspiciously, sniffing him. Zoro did the same while Nami and Vivi stood back a good ways apart from one another, looking around nervously.

"My name's Chopper," Chopper said slowly. "I'm a reindeer. Do you want to be friends?"

Luffy immediately agreed, wagging his tail. After a moment, Zoro did the same. All three glanced back to where Nami and Vivi were. Luffy and Zoro approached them, but they growled and backed away with tails tucked. Luffy and Zoro waited until the other two were calmer before slowly approaching and sniffing.

_Who you?_ All four asked at once.

Chopper cleared his throat. "I . . . If you don't know your names, I can tell you . . ."

They looked at him hopefully. He came forward.

"Your name's Luffy," he said, patting Luffy's back. "You're Zoro . . . you're Nami . . . and you're Vivi."

Each werewolf tested out these names. Deciding they liked them, they nodded to Chopper.

"Can you all try to be friends with each other?" Chopper asked.

As before, Luffy agreed immediately. Zoro hesitantly agreed afterwards, and though Nami and Vivi took a little longer, they too nodded eventually.

"Okay," Chopper said happily. "Well . . . we've got all night. Do you guys want to play a game?"

* * *

Chopper waited until everyone had transformed back before heading inside with Luffy and Zoro to take a morning nap before lunchtime came. Nami and Vivi quietly retreated to the women's quarters.

"How d'you feel?" Nami murmured as they took their beds. Karoo was just waking up and eyed Vivi's new, sleek blue tail nervously.

"Tired," Vivi said softly, patting Karoo's head comfortingly. "And . . . your hair . . ."

"Colorblindness," Nami explained shortly. "Your hair shouldn't look all that different, I think . . . ?"

"It doesn't," Vivi agreed, glancing at her tail. She touched it and sighed.

"Naptime," Nami murmured, getting under the covers and closing her eyes. Vivi did the same, and soon they were both fast asleep.


	78. Werewolf Robin

**robemperor01 requested WW Nami turning Robin!**

**Non-humans: WW Zoro, WW Luffy, WW Nami, WW Robin**

* * *

Nami peered around the corner, sniffing cautiously as her tail twitched nervously. She and Robin (who was in another part of the Marine ship) were on a mission to snatch some hard cash from the Navy. They'd been separated in a scuffle and were trying to reunite; Nami had managed to stuff her shirt with jewelry and bills already.

She darted around the corner and hid behind an ajar door as two soldiers ran by, searching for the pirates. Once they'd left, she ran out and went on her way.

As she passed an open door, she heard, "Pss!"

Glancing back, she saw Robin waving, and hurried into the broom closet with her.

"We'll get out faster this way," Robin whispered, pointing to the door opposite the one Nami had come through. "But there are soldiers there. It'll be safer to go once they're gone."

She went to the door and stood near it, listening carefully to the chatter.

Nami scowled. "I don't see why we can't just barge th—"

Without turning her head, Robin sprouted a hand from Nami's shoulder and covered her mouth. "Keep it down," she whispered softly.

In frustration, Nami bit the phantom hand sharply. She tasted blood and it vanished. Robin winced and eyed Nami with annoyance.

"Sorry," Nami whispered. "Just say when the coast is clear, okay?"

Robin rolled her eyes and kept a watch on the hall. Nami leaned against the opposite wall, but just then, in the faint light from outside, she saw Robin sink to the ground.

"Robin!" she hissed, hurrying to her and kneeling. "Are you okay?"

Robin was unconscious. Nami gulped, checked her palm, and saw the droplets of blood.

"Oh, no . . ."

She looked around, seized an empty bucket, and supported Robin while placing the bucket under her face.

Not long afterwards, Robin slowly lifted her head.

"What . . . ?"

She didn't get any further than this before vomiting into the bucket. Nami rubbed her back while she coughed and spat to get the taste out.

When she finished, she put the bucket aside and stood, Nami close behind.

"I'm so sorr—"

"Let's get out of here first," Robin murmured. She closed her eyes briefly. "They've left the hall. Come on."

* * *

They managed to safely escape the Marine ship and were able to set sail shortly after. By the time the Marines discovered the missing treasure, the Strawhats were long gone.

On the bow, Robin folded her arms and looked at Nami, severely reproachful.

"What's going on?" Luffy asked, bending over backwards from the figurehead to watch. He flipped onto the deck like a coiled spring and bounced right-side up, folding his legs underneath him and thumping his tail once.

"Nami," Robin said sternly.

Nami looked down. "I'm sorry," she mumbled. "I didn't think it would happen with one of your extra hands."

"Didn't think _what_ would happen?" Usopp asked, coming up and looking at them curiously.

"Nami, would you like to tell them?"

Nami covered her face. "I bit Robin," she mumbled shamefacedly.

Usopp shrieked in surprise and Luffy let out an exclamation of shock. At their insistence, Nami quietly explained what had happened.

"Oh, why does this keep happening?" Usopp moaned. "First Luffy, then Nami, now Robin—!"

"No one's making you come out during the full moon," Robin pointed out. "And as long as we're all _careful_ . . ."

"I'm sorry," Nami mumbled.

"Yeah, we haven't had a great track record with that so far!" Usopp pointed out. "You'd think Nami would be the one not to bite anyone in human form, but _no_—"

Nami shot him an upset glare and he stopped talking.

"We were both careless," Robin said, suddenly gentle. "I didn't realize it would happen with an extra limb, either. I shouldn't have covered your mouth so suddenly."

"I should just keep my mouth shut," Nami mumbled.

Robin patted her head. "It's okay. You guys'll have more company on the full moon now. And looking on the bright side . . . I won't have to deal with periods anymore."

Usopp immediately left without even giving an excuse. Nami brightened. "There is that, isn't there?"

"Still don't get what the big deal about that is," Luffy muttered, flipping back onto the figurehead.

At dinner, Nami and Robin told the others what had happened. Their reactions varied from sympathy to shock.

* * *

Robin found herself bedridden on the morning of the full moon. She politely turned Sanji away when he asked if she needed anything, in contrast to Nami's immediate snapping and, "I've told you a thousand times I don't need anything."

* * *

"Let's go."

Nami and Robin shuffled out to the deck to meet with Luffy, Zoro, Chopper, and Brook. Robin was shivering violently and clutched herself.

"You doing okay?" Luffy asked, taking off his shirt as he, too, shivered.

Robin shrugged. "I'll . . . be alright . . ."

Chopper and Brook dutifully went to the front of the ship while the four undressed, the girls on one side of the mast and the girls on the other.

Cries and groans of pain were heard throughout the deck. The last thing Robin saw before falling unconscious was dark fur sprouting on her limbs.

Chopper and Brook quietly came back to find Luffy, Zoro, and Nami greeting each other normally. Their new companion, whose fur was long and shiny black and her eyes yellow, stood a ways from them, looking around suspiciously.

_Hi,_ Luffy said cheerfully, approaching her. She snapped at him, her tail tucked between her legs, and he backed off. Zoro and Nami looked at her curiously.

_Who?_ she growled, adopting an aggressive stance, though her tail was still between her legs. _Who you? Who I? Where this? _

"Hey," Chopper called softly, keeping his distance so as not to scare her. She looked at him.

"Don't be scared," he said gently. "We're all your friends. We're not gonna hurt you."

Slowly she relaxed her stance. _Who . . . ?_

"I'm Chopper," Chopper said. "I'm a reindeer." He glanced at Brook.

"My name's Brook," Brook said cheerfully. "I'm a skeleton, but . . . do take care not to chew on my limbs, would you?"

She narrowed her eyes at this.

"Your name's Robin," Chopper said. "We're on a ship right now."

_Robin,_ she repeated.

She came forward and sniffed Chopper and Brook cautiously. When she didn't detect any aggression, she nodded to them and looked apprehensively at the others.

"Guys, can you introduce yourselves?" Chopper called. "Be nice."

The werewolves introduced themselves and let Robin come forward and sniff them. Once she decided they wouldn't hurt her, her tail came untucked.

"So . . . we can play some games," Chopper offered. "Robin, what do you want to do?"

_Games?_

Chopper rattled off the list.

_Tag,_ Luffy said cheerfully.

"Let Robin decide," Chopper scolded.

Robin hesitated. _Tag,_ she decided.

Luffy let out a happy bark.

* * *

When morning came, Chopper and Brook headed inside as the werewolves began turning back.

The four sat up slowly, everyone politely looking away from the opposite gender's nudity, and they got dressed.

"Well, back to bed," Nami mumbled, trudging off to the women's quarters with Robin as Luffy and Zoro went to crash on their beds.

* * *

"My dears, a revitalizing lunch just for you," Sanji cooed, placing food aplenty in front of the girls, who thanked him politely and began eating. Robin now had a sleek black tail hanging out from under her skirt, and her eyes had become yellow.

"How'd it go?" Franky asked.

"It was fine," Robin said with a tired smile. "Very odd, but it went well. Guys, thank you for being so nice."

They gave her thumbs-up, too busy eating to respond properly.

Usopp looked at her. "Robin . . . I thought your eyes were blue?"

Robin stared at him. "I'm sorry?"

"Well, see—" Usopp said, stumbling over his words. "There was this book I read a while ago, and it said that werewolves who originally had blue eyes keep blue eyes, but any other color turns yellow after the first transformation."

Robin frowned. "That may be true, but my eyes were brown. They're yellow now, aren't they?"

"Yeah, but . . . I thought they were blue," Usopp finished lamely.

"Why would you think that?" Zoro muttered, stabbing a piece of meat with his fork.

"I don't know, I just—"

"Robin-_chan_'s eyes have always been brown, I'll have you know," Sanji snapped.

Usopp held up his hands. "Okay, okay, sorry, I got confused!"


	79. The Last Human

**Lew-_chan_ requested everyone as a werewolf, and Franky's subsequent jealously.**

**Non-humans: WW Zoro, WW Luffy, WW Sanji, WW Usopp, WW Nami, WW Robin**

* * *

"Have a good time," Franky said with fake cheer as his werewolf friends trudged outside. They waved in response and closed the door.

Franky dropped his hand and sighed. He went to his bed and lay on it, staring upwards. A while later, he heard the now-familiar cries of pain and then the faint growling.

"What do you guys wanna do tonight?" he heard Chopper ask.

He turned over and stared at the wall, lying on his side as he heard happy yapping.

"They can have their werewolf party," he muttered to himself. "I'm not jealous . . . I can have a party all by myself."

He stood and started dancing, singing a rhythm to keep himself in time. But then he heard snarling.

"Franky-_san_, please keep it down," he heard Brook call.

He slowly stopped singing and dancing, eventually going back to bed.

"Still better in here than out there," he mumbled.

* * *

As usual, he, Brook, and Chopper were the only ones at breakfast the next morning. Chopper was cooking, which meant a vegetarian meal.

"How'd you sleep?" Chopper asked as he served up breakfast, turning small when he got up in the chair for his own portion.

"Slept fine, or whatever," Franky mumbled, poking at his food.

"Are you quite alright?" Brook asked curiously.

"Yeah, I'm fine, why wouldn't I be?"

Brook and Chopper glanced at each other, but neither commented further.

* * *

The whole crew was up for lunch, where Sanji cooked up a storm to replenish their energy after the previous night.

"Thanks for hanging out with us again, guys," Luffy said cheerfully to Brook and Chopper. "That was fun!"

"Yeah, except for the part where you almost jumped off the ship," Nami snapped, her tail twitching irritably.

Luffy frowned. "The stick went over the rail. What was I _supposed_ to do?"

"Stop yourself in time?" Usopp suggested.

"You're one to talk, you almost went over, too," Zoro pointed out.

"So did you!" Sanji exclaimed.

"Yeah, well, so did you," Zoro snapped.

"Good thing Robin and I stopped you idiots," Nami muttered. Robin smiled.

"Franky?" Usopp said. "Are you okay?"

Everyone looked at Franky, who was moodily picking at his food.

"Oh, I'm fine," he muttered.

"How was your night?" Robin asked politely.

"It was great!" he exclaimed loudly, throwing his arms out wide. "I had a _blast_! Man, you guys should've been there, it was just a wild party with the Super Franky! If there ever was a shindig for the ages, it was last night, I'll tell you what!"

The others were silent.

"So you were lonely?" Nami asked.

Franky let his arms drop. "Maybe."

"You were?!" Chopper exclaimed. "Oh, I'm sorry!"

Franky put his head on the table. "It can't be helped, right?" he mumbled. "It's way too dangerous to hang out with you guys as wolves, but . . ."

Luffy frowned. "Hey, I'm sorry . . . but you get to hang out with us every other day of the month! Transforming can't be helped, but still . . ."

"You can come out during the next lunar eclipse," Robin suggested. "We'd all welcome your company."

"Hey, yeah," Franky said, lifting his head. "There is that . . ."

Usopp patted his arm. "Let's go hang out in the workshop, okay? I have an idea for an invention!"

"Really?" Franky said. "Awesome! After lunch, then!"

The others grinned just before Nami snapped at Zoro for accidentally brushing his tail against hers.


	80. High Frequencies

**phonenix requested WW Zoro and Luffy exposed to high frequencies!**

**Non-humans: WW Zoro, WW Luffy**

* * *

Luffy and Zoro climbed over the fence with the obvious sign which read, "TESTING GROUND, KEEP OUT."

"Luffy, I swear, if that sign refers to testing landmines or some shit . . ." Zoro growled.

Luffy jumped up and down on the ground. Nothing happened.

"Guess not," he declared. Zoro rolled his eyes and followed him farther into the field.

The shout of someone reached their ears: "Testing frequency in three . . . two . . . one!"

"What—" Luffy began, but then a horrible sound reached their ears, like a choir of banshees was standing around them and shrieking in harmonious racket. They cried out and slammed their hands over their ears, squeezing their eyes shut.

When the sound finally faded, they lowered their hands and looked at each other. Luffy opened his mouth, but his words were heard by neither him nor Zoro. Zoro looked at Luffy's hands and pointed them out; drops of blood were visible. He looked at his own hands and saw a few drops of red there as well.

They looked at each other in worry and hurried out the way they'd come, almost tripping as they went.

* * *

"There you guys are," Nami said, looking up as Luffy and Zoro jumped onto the ship. "Don't just ignore me next time I ask you to be guard dogs, you got it? Now stay here, I need to go shopping with Sanji-_kun_."

They ignored her. Sanji, standing dutifully next to her, frowned.

"Hey, wolf-boys, don't ignore my Nami-_san_," he snapped.

Luffy and Zoro glanced around and spotted Nami and Sanji. Luffy waved and Zoro nodded to them.

Nami and Sanji glanced at each other.

"Did we _do_ something?" Nami demanded, turning back to the werewolves. "Are you just going to not talk to us?"

Luffy and Zoro glanced at each other uncomfortably.

Sanji narrowed his eyes. "Moss-head," he said clearly.

Zoro didn't react, just staring at Sanji confusedly.

"Second-rate swordsman," Sanji continued. "Dumbass moss-ball, asshole sword-freak, Neanderthal."

Zoro stared at him uncomprehendingly. Luffy tugged on Zoro's shirt and made motions on either side of his head. Zoro nodded and they both turned to Nami and Sanji, miming antlers with their hands.

"You guys need Chopper?" Nami asked. They didn't respond.

Sanji frowned. "Are they . . . deaf?"

He got their attention and pointed to his ears, and then theirs. They nodded and tapped their ears.

Nami swore under her breath. She got the werewolves' attention and first mimed antlers, and then pointed to the town, indicating that Chopper had gone out. They nodded slowly.

"Sanji-_kun_, shopping can wait, I think we should keep an eye on them," she said. "They can't hear enemies coming, so they can't guard the ship right now."

"Useless wolf-boys," Sanji muttered, though he too was concerned. Nami came forward and went to Luffy's side, carefully checking his ear, and then the other one. She did the same with Zoro and then turned back to Sanji with a worried face.

"Bleeding," she reported. "I've got no experience with ear injuries, do you—?"

Sanji shook his head.

Nami frowned and went inside, coming back soon with a pad of paper and a pencil. She scribbled and held up a message for the werewolves:

_We'll stay on the ship with you until Chopper comes back. Go rest in the bedroom. Don't touch your ears, we can't risk any more damage. Sanji-_kun _will bring you something._

They nodded reluctantly and trudged off to the men's quarters.

"Sanji-_kun_, make them a snack," Nami ordered, crumpling up the paper. "Something with peanut butter."

"Right away," Sanji said, heading to the kitchen.

He came out soon with apple slices spread with peanut butter. When he entered the men's quarters, he found Luffy and Zoro lying in their beds, staring up at the ceiling.

"Hey," he said. He shook their shoulders in turn and showed them the snack. They perked up, tails thumping on the bed, and crawled onto the floor. Sanji set the platter down and they fell upon the food happily. Luffy licked the peanut butter off of his apples before eating the fruit, while Zoro devoured them all together. After a bit, Luffy gave Sanji a cheerful thumbs-up and Zoro shrugged at him.

* * *

"There you are," Nami said in relief when Chopper returned with Usopp. "Chopper, Luffy and Zoro need you."

Chopper gasped. "What? What happened? Are they hurt?"

Nami nodded. "They're in the men's quarters . . ."

Chopper and Usopp went to the bedroom and found Luffy and Zoro finishing off the apples. The werewolves looked up and their tails thumped at the sight of their friends.

"Guys, what happened?" Chopper cried.

"You _look_ okay," Usopp said suspiciously.

Luffy waved at Chopper and pointed to his ears, ignoring Usopp.

"Your ears?" Chopper said curiously. Zoro pointed to his as well after getting Chopper's attention.

"Come to the infirmary," Chopper ordered, turning and heading out. Luffy and Zoro stood hesitantly.

"Guys, you heard him—" Usopp began impatiently, but cut himself off. "Wait . . . you _did_ hear him, didn't you?"

Luffy and Zoro ignored him. Usopp stared at them in surprise and waved to get their attention. He pointed at Chopper and mimed walking; Luffy and Zoro nodded and followed Chopper.

"What happened?" Usopp demanded, turning to Nami.

"I wish I knew," she murmured.

* * *

Luffy and Zoro turned up for dinner with cotton pads taped to the sides of their heads. Chopper had informed them by writing that their eardrums were damaged but would heal soon, and in the meantime they needed to keep the cotton over their ears for protection. As such, dinner was unusually quiet.

Luffy had told Chopper (through nearly indecipherable handwriting) what had happened.

"I heard about that," Nami remarked softly. "The Navy was planning to test out secret communications on high frequencies undetectable by humans."

"So they must've heard it with their puppy ears and it was too loud," Sanji concluded.

Robin frowned. "Poor things. I suppose they won't be speaking until they can hear again."

"Won't be the same without Strawhat's yelling," Franky remarked sadly.

"They'll get better, this isn't permanent," Chopper reminded him.

"Thank god, I don't fancy a world where I can't properly make fun of moss-hair," Sanji said. Zoro didn't even notice he was speaking.

Usopp waved his hand vigorously and got Luffy's attention. He mimed playing with cards and Luffy nodded, grinning.

* * *

It took a full two weeks for Luffy and Zoro to get better. By this time, though the full moon was fast approaching, they were extremely pleased to have their hearing returned.

"Try not to get too close to loud sounds for at least another week," Chopper said gently as they removed the cotton pads.

Luffy grinned. "Yeah, of course! Thanks, Chopper, you're the best!"

"And you'll need to take ear drops every day for two weeks," Chopper continued. "Let's get started."

They squirmed and whined, but Chopper held them down.

"Okay, go have fun," he ordered, and they ran out the door.

* * *

"So," Nami said sternly as the others watched in amusement. "What have we learned about going into places that say 'keep out?'"

Luffy sighed, his head hung low. "Only do it if it looks _really_ cool," he mumbled.

"No, _don't_ do it unless absolutely necessary!" Nami snapped.

"Only do it . . . if it's necessary or a shortcut," Zoro offered.

Nami hit them both.


	81. Modern-Day: Vampires Zoro and Luffy 1

**animelovergirl123 requested modern AU with Vampire Zoro turning Luffy! This one's going to be another two or three-parter.**

**Non-humans: Vampire Zoro, Vampire Luffy**

**Modern AU**

* * *

Luffy cheerfully climbed out his window onto the roof, lay on his back, and stared up at the clouds. He frowned. September was on its way, and the clouds were just going to keep coming.

He sighed, rolled over, and looked to the side of the house. He almost fell off when he spotted a figure lying prone in the shadows.

"Hey," he called softly. No response.

Luffy frowned, went to the lowest part of the roof, and carefully dangled off, dropping to the driveway—the roof was fairly low to the ground. He went to the side and knelt by the figure.

It was Zoro.

"Hey, Zoro!" he exclaimed. He shook Zoro's shoulder; his friend didn't seem to be breathing. "Zoro . . . Zoro, are you okay?"

Zoro weakly opened his eyes. They were unfocused.

"You're alive," Luffy said cheerfully. "You look hungry. Do you want some food?"

Zoro licked his lips. "Blood . . ."

He suddenly grabbed Luffy's arm and brought his wrist to his mouth. He bit down sharply and began to drink. Luffy gasped in surprise.

"What're you—? Zoro, are you a vampire?!" he exclaimed. "I mean . . . that actually explains a lot, but . . . I guess you're thirsty. Don't drink me dry, okay?"

Zoro ignored him; his eyes were shut as he continued to drink. Luffy cheerfully sat back and let him go at it.

After a while Luffy started to feel woozy.

"Hey," he said. "Zoro, that's enough . . . aren't you done . . . ?"

Zoro was gaining in strength and Luffy was weakening. This imbalance kept Luffy's arm in place and Zoro continued drinking.

"Zoro . . ." Luffy said weakly, his eyes fluttering. "Hey . . . stop . . ."

Another while later and Luffy fell completely unconscious, slumping forward.

By the time Zoro came to his senses, it was too late.

"Oh, shit," he hissed. He shook Luffy. "No, no, no—"

He listened carefully, but heard nothing beating in Luffy's chest. He hissed a string of expletives under his breath and looked around.

Thinking quickly, he hoisted Luffy up, carrying him in both arms to the front door.

"This must be his house," he muttered to himself. He knocked on the door, waited, and then knocked again, this time louder.

Footsteps reached his sensitive ears and the door swung open.

"Who are you and what do you want?" someone muttered. He had messy black hair and freckles, and wore a bathrobe. He saw Luffy and his eyes widened.

"What happened?" he demanded.

"You must be one of his brothers?" Zoro said quickly. At the man's nod, Zoro said, "I'll explain what happened, but we should hurry. Please invite me in first."

"Okay, come in," the man said quickly. Zoro came inside with Luffy and they went upstairs to the living room. Zoro carefully laid Luffy on the couch.

"I'm Ace," Ace said quickly. "Is he okay—? SABO, GET IN HERE!"

A minute later Sabo, a man about Ace's age with blond hair, appeared. "What?" he said. "I'm tired."

"It's Lu," Ace said, and Sabo was immediately on alert. He came to the living room and saw Luffy lying prone.

"What happened?" he demanded.

Ace gestured to Zoro and Sabo turned to him expectantly.

"You're not going to like this," Zoro warned. "You have every right to be pissed off, but at least hear me out, will you?"

They waited.

"Okay," Zoro said. "I'll make this brief. I'm Luffy's friend. I'm a vampire, but he didn't know. Long story short, I ended up outside your house just now, and I hadn't had a drink in days. I can't control myself when I'm starving, and Luffy happened upon me . . ."

"You'd better not be saying what I think you're saying," Ace said menacingly, though there was a slight tremble to his voice.

"A vampire?" Sabo demanded incredulously. "You expect us to believe that?"

Zoro eyed him. "Hold still," he ordered, and Sabo froze. Ace glanced at his brother, and Zoro broke the control.

". . . Okay," Sabo said. "You're a vampire. Go on."

Zoro nodded. "I'm so sorry. I couldn't control myself, and I . . ."

Ace stood suddenly. "Are you saying you _killed_ our little brother?" he demanded with a quaver in his voice. "You sick vampire freak?"

"Stop," Zoro ordered, and Ace froze.

"I know how you feel," Zoro said slowly. He clenched his hands in his lap. "I'm an older brother, too, and if this happened to one of my sisters, I . . ."

He looked away and broke the control. Ace slowly sat back down.

"There's a way to save him," Zoro said abruptly. "You won't like it."

"Whatever it is, tell us," Sabo said impatiently.

"You have to feed him blood," Zoro said. "He'll come back to life, but he'll be a vampire."

"And how do you know that'll work?" Ace said coldly.

"Because that's how I became like this," Zoro snapped. "Do you think I chose to be a vampire? The point is, you two have nothing more to lose. And if you're not willing to try it, I'm going to force you, because I'm not going to let Luffy die permanently because of my own stupid mistakes."

They glared at him.

"He's right," Sabo muttered. He went to the kitchen and returned with a knife.

"If it doesn't work . . ." Zoro began, but trailed off and shook his head.

"What should I do, exactly?" Sabo asked with a remarkable restraint of temper—unlike Ace, who would have beat the living daylights out of Zoro given the chance.

"Just . . ." Zoro made a gesture. "Get the blood into his mouth and make him swallow. It might take a while, but it should work."

Sabo nodded and, after a moment's hesitation, sliced his wrist. He winced and brought the wound to hover over Luffy, opening Luffy's slack mouth and letting the blood trickle in. Sabo gently stroked his throat and, to his surprise, Luffy swallowed.

"There you go," Zoro said. "Keep doing that."

"_You_ keep your mouth shut," Ace hissed. In no mood to stoke his temper even more, Zoro nodded and kept quiet. They both watched as Sabo continued to give Luffy blood, and Luffy continued to swallow weakly.

Eventually he opened his eyes and sat up.

"What happened?" he mumbled. His skin was still pale as death. He felt his mouth. "Why do I taste pennies?"

He was abruptly cut off by Sabo's sudden hug.

"Sabo?" he said curiously, hugging him back.

"Lu, thank god, you're alive," Sabo said weakly. He sat on the coffee table, not quite up to standing yet.

Luffy spotted Zoro and his eyes widened.

"Oh, yeah, you drank my blood!" he exclaimed. He frowned indignantly. "You didn't have to take so much, Zoro, I almost died."

Zoro grimaced. "I'm so sorry . . ."

"You'd better be," Ace said, and this time his voice quivered not with sorrow or anger, but with relief. "Lu, how are you feeling?"

Luffy frowned again. "Hm . . . kinda thirsty, but I'm okay."

Ace nodded and turned to Zoro. "You. Get out of our house."

"What? Why?" Luffy exclaimed.

Zoro sighed. "Can I at least tell him what happened?"

Ace glared at him and nodded. He got up, returned with some gauze, and wrapped it around Sabo's wound while Zoro explained what had happened to Luffy.

When he was finished, Luffy stared at him in shock.

"I'm a vampire now?" he whispered.

Zoro nodded. "I'm sorry."

Luffy grinned. "No, don't be! Now I'm cool!"

Ace and Sabo exchanged exasperated looks.

"I can explain more later, but . . ." Zoro looked at Ace and Sabo.

"_Now_ you leave," Ace ordered. "Get out and stay away from Luffy from now on."

"Hey, what?" Luffy exclaimed. "Guys, are you mad at Zoro?"

"Did you just notice?" Sabo demanded. "He _killed_ you, Lu, we almost lost you for good, and now you're . . ."

He trailed off. Luffy frowned.

"But it's okay," he said. "I know Zoro didn't mean to, and I like vampires." He hesitated. "Do you . . . do you hate vampires?"

"What? No," Ace said quickly. "It's just . . ."

He hesitated.

"Please don't be mad at Zoro," Luffy begged them. He looked at Zoro. "Zoro, you gotta teach me about being a vampire, right?"

Zoro nodded. "I was going to say . . ."

"There you go," Luffy said firmly. "And you can't stop me from talking to him at school, either."

Ace and Sabo looked at each other.

"Fine," Ace said.

"Okay," Zoro said impatiently. "Luffy, you're nocturnal now, so get some sleep tomorrow and stay out of the sun. Can you meet me at the playground at midnight tomorrow?"

"We're coming too," Sabo said sternly.

"Fine, okay," Zoro agreed. "Now, uh . . ." he hesitated. "I . . . don't know the way home."

"Excuse me?" Ace said.

Zoro coughed. "Well, the reason I ended up here was because I . . . misplaced my house. My sisters must be worried sick, it's been four days already . . ."

"Do you know your address?" Sabo asked as if talking to a five-year-old.

Zoro scowled. "Of course." He recited it quickly.

"I'll take you there," Ace said. "Try not to drink me dry on the way."

Zoro sighed and they went out the door.

"Bye, see you tomorrow!" Luffy called.

"Are you really okay with this?" Sabo asked, sitting back on the couch. Luffy sat next to him.

"Yeah," Luffy said cheerfully.

"You didn't know about him being a vampire, right?"

"Nope, but . . ." Luffy frowned. "I think it must've happened just this year. I'll ask him tomorrow night."

"Try not to tell anyone," Sabo said sternly. "The fewer people know, the better. If you can trust your friends, you can tell them if you want, but make sure they don't let anyone else know."

Luffy sighed. "If you say so . . ."

* * *

"I don't usually do that, you know."

Ace looked at Zoro as they walked along the deserted street.

"I usually only drink every couple days or so," Zoro explained. "I never take _all_ of someone's blood. I only take a little bit from several people, and make them sleep so they'll recover."

Ace scowled and chose not to respond.

"I can't change what I did to Luffy," Zoro continued. "I don't know if I can make it up to any of you. The most I can do right now is help him with being a vampire. I had to figure all that out on my own, so he's luckier than me in that respect."

Ace kept silent, but nodded once.

"Here," Zoro said with great relief as they stopped in front of a one-story house. "Thanks so much. I'll see you tomorrow night."

"Right," Ace said, and he turned away down the street.

Once he was around the corner, Zoro reached into his pockets, pulled out a key, went to his front door, and unlocked it. He quietly stepped inside, locked the door again, and kicked off his shoes, turning on the bare light bulb just above.

"I need a shower," he mumbled to himself.

"Zoro?"

He turned around. A girl almost his height, wearing boxers and a loose pink shirt, stood just outside the hall. Her eyes were dark and her black hair was short. She looked like she was going to cry.

"Kuina," he said, smiling.

She suddenly came forward and hugged him. "Where the _hell_ were you?!" she exclaimed. "Don't you know how worried we were, stupid?!"

"I'm so sorry," he said, hugging her in return. "I can explain. I messed up, a lot, but I can explain. Is Perona awake?"

"I'll go get her up," Kuina said, withdrawing and smiling before whacking him on the head. He winced. "Don't make us worry so much. Do you know how much she cried?"

Zoro swore under his breath. Kuina turned to go down the hall again, but—

"Zo?"

A little girl stood just at the end of the hall, clutching a stitched-up teddy bear. Her hair was long, pink, and wavy, her eyes were big, and she wore a black nightgown, which was clearly a hand-me-down.

"Hey, Perona," Zoro said, smiling fondly. He knelt and she threw her arms around his neck. "I'm sorry I took so long, but I'm back."

"You're back," she said happily, starting to cry.

Zoro stood and Perona clung to him like a baby koala. "I'll explain what happened and then you two are off to bed, okay?"

"Yeah," Kuina agreed.

They went to the living room and sat. Zoro sighed and began to explain.

* * *

**Continued next chapter...**


	82. Modern-Day: Vampires Zoro and Luffy 2

**Part 2!**

**Non-humans: Vampire Zoro, Vampire Luffy**

**Modern AU**

* * *

"In my defense," Zoro began, and Kuina immediately rolled her eyes. "Let me finish! In my defense, I was trying to stick close to home as usual, but . . ."

"You got lost?" Perona asked, lying across his legs.

He gave her a mock glare and she giggled.

"I thought I saw the guy who turned me," he explained. "I went after him to teach him a lesson. But he was far away, and it took forever to catch up. When I did . . . well, turns out it was the wrong guy."

"Good job," Kuina said, nodding sarcastically.

"He went into his house before I could grab him for a drink," Zoro continued, ignoring the jab, "and then I realized I'd misplaced our street."

"You got lost," Perona repeated.

"Not _lost_, just . . . directionally misplaced," Zoro said. He flipped her over and tickled her until she shrieked at him to stop.

"Anyway," he said as Perona curled up, clutching her stuffed bear, "I didn't make it back before morning, and since I didn't have sunscreen . . . I couldn't move around while the sun was up. I had to turn into a bat and hide in the shadows."

He sighed. "I hadn't drunk for a few days at that point, you know, so it was getting harder to move around. Earlier today, the sun was setting and I . . ." he scratched the back of his head. "My head was kind of fuzzy, but I guess I collapsed on the side of his house, and then . . ."

He coughed. "Well . . ."

He awkwardly explained what had happened with Luffy, Ace, and Sabo.

"You turned your friend into a vampire?!" Kuina exclaimed. "Wow, good going, I'll bet his brothers were _really_ pleased—"

"You have a vampire friend now?" Perona asked, popping up from the brink of sleep. "Can I meet him?"

"Of course they were mad at me," Zoro said. "They have every right to be. But Luffy thinks vampires and werewolves and things are cool, so he didn't mind very much." He sighed. "I'm not sure he realizes he can't eat regular food anymore . . ."

"Can I meet him?" Perona repeated, tugging on Zoro's shirt.

"Maybe later," Zoro said. "I'm meeting him and his brothers at the playground tomorrow night so I can tell him about being a vampire."

"I wanna come," Perona said insistently.

Zoro frowned. "You're a growing girl and you need sleep," he said sternly.

"Do not," she protested even as she yawned.

"We'll talk about it tomorrow," Zoro promised. She nodded and curled up again.

"If she's going, I'm going, too," Kuina said.

"Fine, you can both come," Zoro said impatiently. "I need a shower and a change of clothes, and you two need to go back to bed, so we'll come back to this tomorrow."

Kuina nodded and yawned. Zoro scooped up Perona, half-asleep, and carried her back to bed.

"Hey—"

Zoro turned as he half-closed Perona's door.

"Don't you ever make us worry like that again," Kuina said, her voice wobbling.

Zoro gave her a one-armed hug. "I'm sorry," he said. "I'll go shower and hang out in the living room. I won't leave again tonight."

"You'd better not, stupid," she mumbled. "G'night."

She went to her own room, closing the door behind her. Zoro smiled and went to the bathroom, taking off his shirt along the way.

* * *

"Now, if you fall asleep, Kuina's going to take you straight home," Zoro said, walking with his sisters down the street to the playground. Perona held their hands with each of hers as they walked.

"I won't fall asleep," she protested. "I wanna meet your vampire friend."

"Take her home when she falls asleep," Zoro said quietly to Kuina.

"I heard you," Perona exclaimed indignantly.

They reached the playground. Perona ran off to the play equipment while Zoro and Kuina sat at a table.

Zoro glanced around. "They're coming."

A minute later, Luffy, Ace, and Sabo appeared. Luffy greeted Zoro with a cheerful wave while Ace and Sabo nodded curtly.

"Hi!" Luffy exclaimed. Perona abandoned the slide to run over curiously. "So, things are weird."

"Yeah, no kidding," Zoro agreed. "Guys, these are my sisters, Kuina and Perona . . . Kuina, Perona; Luffy, Ace, and Sabo."

"You brought kids here?" Ace demanded.

"I'm fourteen," Kuina protested.

"I'm . . ." Perona hesitated. "Well, I wanted to meet another vampire!"

"She's going home later," Zoro explained.

"Nice to meet you two," Sabo said politely.

"You're the vampire?" Perona asked, staring at Luffy as she got up on the table.

Luffy grinned. "I guess so! Hi, Perona!"

Perona pushed her head into his chest and listened carefully. "Your heart's not beating," she announced happily.

"Yeah, speaking of which, can we get to the point?" Ace asked. "He's been staring at our necks all day."

"Get used to it," Zoro suggested. "Do you want to stay here while I explain, or . . . ?"

They sat at the table on either side of Luffy. Kuina stayed sitting next to Zoro and Perona stayed on the table in an attempt to be the same height as everyone else.

"This feels . . . awkward," Zoro muttered. "Okay, so . . ."

He sighed. "Do you want to ask any questions, or should I just start explaining?"

"I was wondering . . . how'd you become a vampire?" Luffy asked curiously.

Zoro eyed Perona. "Kind of like . . . what I did to you," he said. "It was May earlier this year. It's not exactly PG, so . . . mind if I tell you more later?"

Luffy nodded in understanding. "Gotcha. Yeah."

"So, any other questions?"

"Uh . . . no, just start explaining," Luffy said, shifting in his seat and subconsciously eyeing Sabo's neck. Sabo elbowed him.

"So first off, you can't eat or drink normal food," Zoro began. Luffy looked very upset, but Zoro plowed on. "I know, it's stupid, I'm sorry. You'll burn to a crisp if you go out in the sunlight, but if it's really cloudy or stormy out, you could go out in the day. Otherwise, if you have to go out in the sun, put on a lot of sunscreen."

Luffy nodded. Perona crossed her legs underneath her.

"You're nocturnal now, so . . . that's going to be a problem when school starts up again," Zoro said. "Try to get as much sleep as you can, you're gonna need it."

Luffy frowned. "Oh, okay."

"You can turn into a bat, toad, or cat," Zoro continued, "but let's not worry about that right now."

"A cat?" Luffy exclaimed delightedly.

"Yeah, well . . . anyway," Zoro said quickly. "Try to avoid religious symbols. Things like the Star of David, or a cross . . . I tried reading a Bible recently, but it hurt to hold and my eyes started drying out, so I would avoid texts like that, too."

"I don't really do that stuff anyway, so okay," Luffy said, nodding.

"Come to think of it, holy water might . . . well, if you see holy water for whatever reason, don't touch it," Zoro said. "And this shouldn't be a problem if you avoid normal food, but be careful around garlic. I don't know if it makes you sick or . . . worse, so just be careful. You'll need to be invited into places that aren't yours, as well."

"I can't see my reflection anymore," Luffy mused aloud.

"There is that," Zoro said. "Pictures, too."

There was a moment of silence.

"I've been really thirsty," Luffy said abruptly. "Tell me how to drink from people."

"Yeah," Zoro muttered. "You should only need to drink every two or three days. Try to drink from several people, and each for about . . . five, ten minutes? You can wipe their memories afterwards."

"How?" Luffy asked curiously.

Zoro made a gesture with his hand. "Like this . . . across their forehead. They'll fall asleep and forget what happened, so you need to either make sure they're in a safe place and/or keep an eye on them until they wake up."

"Oh, cool," Luffy exclaimed.

"You'll need to control people, too," Zoro added. "Not many are going to willingly give up their blood, unlike you."

He glanced over and noticed Perona's head bobbing up and down.

"Can you take her home?" he muttered to Kuina.

"Yeah," she said softly. She yawned and stood. "Be safe."

"You, too," he said. Kuina scooped up Perona and carried her away down the street.

When they were out of sight, Zoro turned back. "To control someone, you need to keep your eyes on them and make sure they can hear you. You only need to say simple things like 'Stop' or 'Don't speak.'"

Luffy immediately turned to Ace and ordered, "Don't move!"

Ace froze in place. "Hey!"

"Raise your arm," Luffy commanded, and watched in fascination as Ace raised up his arm like he was asking a question.

"Lu, cut it out," he snapped. Sabo covered Luffy's eyes and Ace let his arm drop.

"Well, you've got the hang of it," Zoro said, shrugging. "Now, as for drinking . . ."

Luffy opened his mouth and tapped on his canines. They extended, and he tapped again so they retracted.

"That's still creepy," Sabo muttered under his breath.

"Go for the neck or arm," Zoro said. "Other places would work, but those are the easiest."

Luffy glanced between Ace and Sabo. "Can I . . . ?"

Sabo hesitantly offered up his arm. Luffy's eyes lit up and he took it carefully. At a nod from Zoro, he opened his mouth, his canines extended, and he bit gently into his brother's arm with a muffled, "S'rry!" Sabo winced but held still.

Several minutes passed before Sabo started tapping Luffy's shoulder like a wrestler tapping out of a fight. Luffy withdrew and watched as the cuts closed.

"Thanks!" he exclaimed, grinning. "That tasted so good . . ."

Zoro nodded. "Do you want to walk around and find more people?" he glanced at Ace and Sabo (Sabo was rubbing his arm). "If it's okay with you two . . ."

They looked at each other and back at Zoro.

"If he's not back before sunrise, I'll have your head on a platter," Ace said menacingly.

"Got it," Zoro said, swallowing nervously.

"I'll be fine!" Luffy exclaimed. "Let's go! G'night, guys!"

Ace and Sabo cautiously left, taking their time.

"We've got all night," Zoro said, stretching. "There should be one or two people around here. There usually are."

Luffy nodded. "Can you show me how to turn into a cat first?"

Zoro groaned.

* * *

**Do you guys want a third part of this? It'd just be Lu and Zoro returning to school and telling their friends about their vampirism. **

**(If I do end up doing a third part, however, it won't be immediately next chapter.)**


	83. Trust Issues

**Wow, you guys, uh... you really like WW Law, huh? N Harmonic, anon, mlg wolves, and bored all requested more WW Law, preferably with ear-scratching.**

**Non-humans: WW Zoro, WW Law**

* * *

"Can I scratch your ears?"

"No."

Luffy frowned. "But _Zoro_ likes it," he protested.

Law scowled in return. "I'm not Zoro-_ya_," he pointed out, adjusting his tail. "And now is hardly the time to be relaxing like this."

"You seemed pretty relaxed before I got here," Luffy muttered, leaning on the railing.

"Exactly. Leave me alone."

"Hm . . . let me scratch your ears first, then I'll go," Luffy suggested innocently.

"Why are you determined to antagonize me?"

"Look, if we're gonna be friends, you gotta let me scratch your ears," Luffy said patiently. "That's how this works."

"I'm not entirely sure you grasp what an alliance is," Law muttered.

"I tried to tell you," Usopp said, appearing on the other side of Luffy and leaning against the railing. "Look, just let him scratch your ears and save yourself a few hours of begging. Trust me, when Luffy wants something, he's not going to let it go."

Luffy nodded firmly.

"Hey, listen," Zoro said, appearing on Law's other side (Law was starting to feel crowded), "no one here's going to hurt you, you know?"

Law looked at him out of the corner of his eyes.

"Do what you want," he muttered to Luffy. Luffy's eyes lit up and he immediately started scratching behind Law's ear. Zoro cleared out while Usopp stayed on Luffy's other side.

Law sighed and closed his eyes, though other than this he didn't relax at all.

After some time, Usopp muttered, "Luffy, back off, that's enough."

Luffy took away his hand. Law opened his eyes again and blinked.

"It felt good, right?" Luffy said cheerfully.

Law gave him a grudging nod, and Luffy finally bounced away, satisfied.

Usopp coughed. "If he gets in that mood again, I'd just, uh . . ." he imitated Law's hand motion for Room. "Trade yourself with Zoro. He'll probably bother him instead."

"Thanks," Law said curtly. Usopp quietly went away to find Luffy.

* * *

**Since the werewolves tend to let themselves relax and drop their guard when someone scratches their ears, they never let mere acquaintances or enemies do it and typically this privilege is limited to friends and family. **

**Law has... trust issues. Since he's still kind of getting to know the SH (though I suppose he knows a bit more about Luffy than the others, what with what happened two years ago), he's not ready to let his guard drop around them and allow them to scratch his ears. Zoro noticed this, which is why he assured Law that no one on the ship was gonna hurt him. Take note that even when Law did reluctantly let Luffy scratch his ear, he remained tense. **

**Assuming Law was with his crew during those two years (I don't recall the details), he probably only let _them_ scratch his ears, and even then it wasn't very often (they wish they could do it more, but he tends to make idle empty threats to bite them if they keep asking).**


	84. Thunderstorm

**Non-humans: WW Zoro, WW Luffy, WW Sanji, WW Usopp**

* * *

The Sunny was docked at a port for the night. Nami's earlier prediction had come true and the air smelled of ozone as if preparing for the thunderstorm. The rain itself was light, however, and Robin was able to keep watch with nothing heavier than a thick sweater and a light jacket.

Not long before midnight came the first bolt of lightning. Out of habit, Robin counted the seconds under her breath until the enormous thunderclap came.

"Seven seconds . . ." she murmured. "2.4 kilometers."

On the next thunderclap (this one without the accompanying lightning flash), she heard a yelp and looked down to the deck with mild concern.

The third thunderclap (preceded by lightning about three kilometers away, Robin noted absently) brought out two yelps this time, and Robin watched as five figures with tails ran out of the men's quarters and into another part of the ship entirely.

"Hm . . ."

She crossed her arms and closed her eyes. In the men's quarters, an arm sprouted near Franky and shook him vigorously.

"Wh?" Franky mumbled, sitting up. "Oh, Nico Robin. Something wrong?"

The hand motioned outside and vanished. Franky scratched his head, shrugged, and shuffled out.

"What's up?" he asked as Robin came down to the deck.

She smiled. "I think the guys would like some company."

"Those guys?" Franky said, scratching the back of his neck. "What's wrong?"

She shrugged. "We'll see. I'll go get them. Can you grab some blankets and bring them to the kitchen? I'll meet you there soon."

Franky eyed her confusedly as she went indoors. He shrugged and went back inside.

* * *

Robin made her way to the aquarium and turned on the lights. She knelt and found Luffy, Zoro, Usopp, Sanji, and Chopper crouched underneath the center table. The werewolves had their tails tucked far between their legs, and Chopper was curled up in Usopp's arms. All five were trembling to some degree.

"This looks like a fun party," she said, smiling.

Zoro and Sanji looked away, embarrassed, while Luffy, Usopp, and Chopper looked at her pleadingly.

"Do you want to come up to the kitchen?" she asked gently. "We'll get you some snacks."

They perked up and nodded. Robin led them out and made them stand. Their tails remained curled between their legs, and Usopp and Chopper continued holding onto each other.

When they reached the kitchen, they found Franky dumping a big pile of blankets onto the couch.

"Hey," he said, glancing up. "I didn't know how many you needed, so—"

He cut himself off when he spotted the half-animals. Robin got them all seated at the table; Luffy brought his knees up to his chest, Chopper leaned into Usopp, Sanji played with his hair, and Zoro folded his arms quietly.

"Oh, that's what you meant," Franky said with dawning comprehension.

A flash of lightning briefly lit up the windows, followed not long after by yet another long rumble of thunder. Everyone at the table flinched; Luffy buried his head in his knees, Zoro clenched his trembling hands, Usopp yelped and jolted, Sanji gasped and bit his lip, and Chopper covered his ears.

"You guys want something to eat?" Robin asked gently.

Luffy lifted his head. He looked ready to cry, but his voice was hopeful when he said quietly, "Peanut butter . . . on meat?"

Robin raised an eyebrow but did not comment.

"Hot chocolate," Chopper whispered.

Usopp shifted in his seat. "Peanut butter on . . . banana . . . uh, please . . ."

"Peanut butter toast," Zoro mumbled, barely audible.

"Peanut butter on bread," Sanji said quietly.

Robin got to work behind the counter while Franky distributed the blankets. Soon she brought what they'd requested to the table after making sure everything was warm. They quietly thanked her and began eating; Chopper got off of Usopp's lap to give each of them a bit of space.

Robin sat at the table and adjusted their blankets with her power. Franky went to the counter and got to work.

"Hey, what's the fridge password?" he called.

Sanji rolled his eyes and Robin used her power to open the fridge herself.

"Oh, okay," Franky muttered. He came back to the table soon with a bottle of cola for himself and a mug of warm coffee for Robin.

"Thanks," she murmured. She paused. "Just a second . . ."

She closed her eyes for a minute. Soon, Nami came into the kitchen sleepily.

"What's up?" she mumbled, eyeing the odd crowd around the table.

"Could you take over watch for a while?" Robin asked.

Nami narrowed her eyes and nodded. "Want me to let you guys know when the storm's over?"

"Please," Robin said, smiling. Nami went to pour herself some coffee and brought it outside with her, taking one of the extra blankets as she left.

As the door shut, another clap of thunder rumbled through the sky and the ship. The half-animals at the table flinched (Usopp yelped again).

"Do you want to talk about it?" Franky asked, taking a swig of his drink.

Zoro looked away, slowly chewing on his toast. After a moment, Chopper spoke up.

"I've never liked thunder," he said quietly. "Back on Drum, Doctor and Doctorine let me sleep next to them during a storm. Doctorine told me how storms happen, but . . . they're still scary."

"And you guys . . . is it because of what you are?" Franky asked.

They nodded slowly.

"I used to like thunder," Luffy admitted. "'Cause giant warriors are really cool . . ."

"Excuse me?" Sanji said, adjusting his blanket.

"What?" Luffy said. "When there's a storm, giant warriors're fighting each other above the clouds, and whenever they trade blows, thunder happens. And lightning happens 'cause sparks fly when their weapons clash."

"Who told you that?" Robin asked with faint amusement.

"Yasopp," Luffy said promptly, glancing at Usopp. "And we see the sparks before the big boom because light's faster than sound."

Everyone stared at him.

"Got that part right, at least," Franky muttered.

"Dad's so smart," Usopp mumbled, holding his arms. "I dunno if that story's a lie, but it sounds true."

Zoro rolled his eyes.

"But you don't like thunder now?" Robin asked Luffy gently.

He shook his head. "Now it's . . . too loud. And scary." He hugged his knees and put his head down. "Sounds like the world's coming down everywhere."

The others nodded.

"We can stay up as long as we need to," Robin assured him. "It's okay, you guys; the world isn't ending anytime soon, I promise."

"Okay," Usopp said in a tiny voice.

"So," Franky said. "What do you think those giant warriors look like?"

Luffy looked up. "Huh?"

"Those warriors sound really cool," Franky said. "How long do you think they've been fighting? Are they really old now?"

"No way," Luffy exclaimed. "I bet they live forever!"

"Really?" Chopper exclaimed.

"Yeah, definitely," Luffy said. "They've been fighting for hundreds or thousands of years! Except when they gotta eat or poop, that's all they do!"

"I'll bet they like meat," Sanji said thoughtfully. He took another bite of his bread.

"Of course they do," Usopp exclaimed. "I caught a glimpse of them when I was young! They were eating meat from a huge animal called the Cow-pig!"

"They were?!" Luffy exclaimed. "What does it taste like?"

"All the finest beefs and porks mixed into one," Usopp said dramatically. "I was only able to steal a small taste before they chased me out!"

"How'd you escape?" Zoro asked curiously. His toast was long gone.

Usopp chuckled. "My feet are the quickest in the world _and_ above the clouds! There's no way they could've caught me!"

"Are the giants anything like the angels from Skypiea?" Chopper asked with sparkling eyes.

"Oh, they're much bigger and fiercer," Usopp said wisely. "They had scars on their back where they'd chopped off their wings!"

"Why did they chop off their wings?" Robin inquired.

"The wings they had were far too large, and they got in the way of everything," Usopp explained. "So they sliced them off with a sword, and now they have two big scars on their backs!"

"That sounds . . ." Chopper yawned. "That sounds so cool . . . !"

This set off the others yawning. A knock on the door made them jump, but it was only Nami.

"Hey," she said. "The storm's over. Sky should clear up soon."

The half-animals brightened.

"Thank you, Nami-_san_," Sanji said happily.

"I'll get back on watch," Robin said, standing, her mug half-empty. The others had finished off their snacks.

"Nah, I'll do it," Franky offered. "As long as you clean up in here."

Robin shrugged. "Fair enough."

"Okay, g'night," Nami muttered, leaving the kitchen.

"Bedtime, guys," Robin said gently.

They nodded and stood.

"Thanks," Luffy said, his tail wagging a bit. The others nodded.

Franky and Robin smiled.


	85. Caught with His Pants Down

**Non-humans: WW Zoro (the crew hasn't found out yet, it's been almost two months)**

* * *

Zoro got himself and Chopper back onto the ship, both dripping wet. He pressed on Chopper's chest and a fountain-like jet of water sprayed out of Chopper's mouth. He sat up, coughing.

"Don't go throwing yourself overboard like that," Zoro snapped.

Chopper coughed again. "I forgot I couldn't swim and I was trying to save you."

Zoro sighed. "I can save myself."

"Why'd you jump, anyway?"

"Got distracted," Zoro mumbled. In truth, Luffy and Usopp had been playing with a flying disc, which had, of course, sailed overboard. Zoro had instinctively leapt to catch it and tumbled overboard instead.

"Did you get it, Zoro?" Luffy asked hopefully. He spotted the disc floating in the water, stretched his arm out, and grabbed it. "Never mind, I got it! Thanks for trying!"

Zoro rolled his eyes and shook himself off like a dog. Luffy covered his face and left.

"I'm gonna go dry off in the bathroom," he muttered. "Chopper, stay on board."

Chopper trotted away while Zoro went up to the bathroom.

* * *

Zoro carefully shut the door, took off his pants, and freed his tail, which had absorbed a fair amount of water. He sighed, grabbed a towel, and started roughly drying it off.

"Stupid tail, stupid water," he mumbled. "Didn't even want a bath . . ."

The door suddenly opened. Zoro whipped around and froze in the act of drying off his tail. Usopp stood in the entrance.

"Oh, sorry," Usopp said quickly. He backed out and closed the door again, Zoro staring at it in shock.

* * *

"That was fast," Luffy said cheerfully as Usopp came back.

Usopp shrugged. "Nah, I'll go back later. Zoro's still drying his ta . . ."

He trailed off. "His . . . tai . . . his . . ."

He ran back up to the bathroom, slammed the door open, and yelled, "ZORO, WHY DO YOU HAVE A TAIL?!"

Zoro had gotten his pants back on and tucked his tail away. "Dunno what you're talking about," he said quickly. He shoved past Usopp and ran away.

Usopp ran after him. "I am _not_ letting this go, you jerk!"

Luffy watched as Zoro ran past him with Usopp in pursuit. He shrugged and chased after them both.

Sanji came outside just as Luffy barreled into Usopp, which caused him to knock into Zoro, bringing all three of them to the ground.

"So . . . is this a party?" he asked.

"Zoro has a tail," Usopp said. "Zoro, come on, tell us why you have a tail?"

"A what?" Sanji and Luffy said at the same time.

"You have a tail?" Luffy exclaimed. "Can I pet it?"

"No, you cannot," Zoro snapped. He paused. "And I don't have a tail."

Sanji rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "You _have_ been changing by yourself recently . . ."

Chopper came trotting over, which only served to increase Zoro's discomfort. "What's going on?"

"Zoro has a tail and he's not admitting it," Usopp explained.

Zoro glared at Usopp and growled loudly. Usopp squeaked and scooted away while the others frowned.

"What is with the growling?" Sanji said exasperatedly. "You've been doing that a lot lately. You're not a dog."

"Maybe he's half-dog," Luffy said, his eyes lighting up. "If he does have a tail . . ."

"Here, I got this," Sanji said. He strode forward, knelt, and yanked off Zoro's pants. Luffy let out a shout of delight when he saw the fluffy green tail between Zoro's legs, flicking slightly.

"See!" Usopp exclaimed triumphantly.

"Why do you have a tail?" Chopper exclaimed, staring at it curiously.

Zoro hesitated.

"It's a costume."

"Liar," Usopp muttered.

"You're a werewolf?" Luffy suggested.

"Well, yeah, but—"

"Do you just secretly like dressing up as animals?" Sanji asked. Then he paused. "Wait, what'd you say?"

"Nothing," Zoro said quickly. Then he sighed. "Forget it, you guys were bound to find out eventually . . ."

"You _are_ a werewolf," Luffy whispered. Usopp slowly backed away.

Zoro grabbed his pants and put them back on. "And no more was said on the topic," he stated. "Well, see you later."

He hurried away.

"Wait, Zoro!" Luffy yelled, running after him. "You have to tell us about this!"

Usopp, Sanji, and Chopper stared after them.

"A werewolf?" Usopp whispered.

"That explains a lot over the past couple weeks," Sanji remarked.

"Like why he smells like a dog now," Chopper agreed.

"A werewolf?" Usopp repeated.

"Guess his diet is fine, but I should ask if he needs anything specific later," Sanji mused. "He'll still need vegetables, I suppose . . ."

"I'll give him a checkup later," Chopper said, nodding.

"A werewolf?" Usopp said again.


	86. Modern-Day: Vampires Zoro and Luffy 3

**Alright, so N Harmonic and Ashlielle asked for part 3 of this thing! Continued from chapter 82.**

**Non-humans: Vampire Zoro, Vampire Luffy**

**Modern AU**

* * *

Usopp looked over at Luffy and was surprised to find him falling asleep where he stood.

"Hey, Luffy, you okay?" he whispered. He shook Luffy, who woke up with a start. "You look kinda pale . . . are you sick?"

Luffy shielded his eyes from the sun and grimaced. "Well, not really . . . I'll explain later, I promise. Can I sleep on the bus?"

Usopp nodded. "I mean, yeah, if you didn't get enough sleep last night . . . speaking of which, I saw you walking past my house last night, where were you going?"

Luffy yawned. "I'm gonna explain, I promise, but I wanna wait for Zoro first."

"Does this involve him?" Usopp asked as the bus rolled up. Luffy nodded and they boarded the bus.

"Talk t'you later," Luffy said sleepily, leaning against the window and closing his eyes. Usopp glanced around and saw a blond guy sitting adjacent to them. The guy gave him a friendly smile and Usopp waved in return.

"Your friend didn't get enough sleep?" the guy muttered. "I'm Sanji."

"Usopp," Usopp said quickly. "I guess not. Which is weird, but . . . he said he'd explain later. Hey, wanna sit with us at lunch?"

Sanji shrugged and nodded. "Thanks. I only switched schools this year . . . stupid district changes."

Usopp nodded. "They keep changing the start and end times for our school, it's so annoying . . ."

* * *

"Hey, Luffy . . ."

Luffy and Zoro sat across from each other at the cafeteria. They'd ditched the last five minutes of class to meet up before seeing their friends.

"What's up?" Luffy said sleepily.

Zoro sighed. "Are you ready for this? I mean . . . they might not take it well."

Luffy frowned. "Nah, it'll be okay, vampires are cool. Well . . . Usopp might be scared, but he'll be fine. That reminds me, why didn't you tell us before?"

"Because of that," Zoro said impatiently. "I didn't want to scare anyone, and besides, they didn't _have_ to know."

"I want to tell them," Luffy said. "I don't really like keeping secrets, and there's no harm in them knowing." He hesitated. "Sabo and Ace were kind of weird about me telling everyone, but I guess they're just worried. They worry about me too much . . ."

Zoro nodded in understanding. "It's what older siblings do, y'know."

Luffy glanced up as Nami and Chopper joined them. "Hi, Nami, Chopper!"

"Hey, Luffy," Nami said. She opened up her bag and pulled out a tangerine.

"Where's your lunch?" Chopper asked curiously.

Luffy scratched the back of his neck and yawned. "I'll explain in a bit."

"And I see _you're_ still not bringing lunch," Nami noted, glancing at Zoro. "You used to have lunch every day, what happened to that?"

Zoro shrugged. "Like Luffy said, we'll explain soon."

"Hey," Usopp said cheerfully, sitting next to Luffy. Sanji joined them as well, sitting next to Usopp and glancing around.

"Hey, Usopp," Chopper said happily.

Sanji quietly introduced himself. Luffy and Zoro glanced at each other.

"So were you guys gonna explain something?" Usopp asked. "Luffy, where's your lunch?"

"Hey, blondie, you hanging out with us from now on or what?" Zoro demanded.

Sanji scowled. "I have a name, grass-head, and yeah, I guess so."

"Quiet, you two," Nami snapped. Sanji smiled and cooed at her, much to the others' annoyance. Nami slapped his hands away and turned back to Luffy and Zoro.

"So . . . explain?" Chopper asked quietly.

"Right," Luffy said. He grinned. "We're vampires. Pretty cool, right?"

Usopp jumped while the others looked skeptical.

"Mm-hm," Nami said. "So, how was your guys' summer?"

Zoro sighed. "Tiring, since we're nocturnal."

"I got killed and brought back to life," Luffy piped up cheerfully.

"Please say you guys are joking," Usopp whispered.

"Can you _prove_ you're vampires?" Sanji asked with narrowed eyes.

Luffy glanced at Zoro. "Uh . . . I dunno, I could turn into a bat."

"Not _here_, idiot," Zoro snapped. "You do realize we have fangs?"

"Ah," Luffy said, nodding. He opened his mouth and tapped on his teeth. His canines extended and the others jumped.

"How did you do that?!" Chopper shrieked.

Zoro did the same before both of them retracted their teeth.

"Good enough?" he asked. "You can check our heartbeats, or lack of one, in this case."

Usopp nervously pressed his hand on Luffy's chest and soon flinched away. "It's not beating," he whispered.

Luffy grinned, but his smile quickly faded. "Usopp . . . are you scared?"

Usopp glanced around, shifting away. "I . . . uh . . ."

"You guys . . . actually drink people's blood?" Chopper said hesitantly.

Luffy nodded. "We don't, like, _kill_ them or anything—I mean, Zoro kind of killed me, but that's okay—"

"Excuse me?" Nami cried.

"I'll explain later," Zoro muttered. "Point is we don't take too much. Satisfied?"

Nami adjusted herself. "Fine," she said. "I can deal with this as long as you don't drink my blood."

"Okay," Luffy said cheerfully.

"Are you okay with this?" Zoro asked Chopper.

Chopper nodded slowly. "It's . . . kinda creepy, but . . . what Nami said."

"I'd be more fine with this if _you'd_ stop staring at my neck," Sanji said sternly, and Luffy quickly looked away.

"Usopp?" Luffy said. "You okay?"

Usopp gulped. "Well . . . no . . ."

Luffy sighed. "Oh . . . I see. Okay."

He scooted away and put his head in his hands. "I'll . . . stay away from you, if it'll make you feel better . . . and you don't have to talk to me . . ."

Though his voice was neutral, he looked like he was going to cry.

"Usopp, man up," Nami muttered.

Usopp gulped again. "Yeah. I . . . Luffy? Zoro?"

They glanced at him.

"Sorry," he said quietly. "I mean, I'm still scared of vampires, but . . . I'll probably get used to it. I still wanna be friends."

Zoro nodded and a grin burst onto Luffy's face. "Yes! Okay!"

"If it makes you feel better, you can repel vampires with garlic and religious stuff," Zoro suggested.

Nami reached into her shirt and pulled out a necklace with a metal cross dangling from it. She held it near Zoro and he flinched away. Sanji snickered.

"Yeah, okay, like that," Zoro said, eyeing it nervously as Luffy leaned away. "Put it away, come on . . ."

"Doesn't that make you evil or something?" Nami asked, tucking the cross back into her shirt. "If you shy away from religion . . ."

"Maybe _from_ a religious standpoint," Chopper suggested. "But it's not like atheists are evil, right? They just believe different stuff—I mean, I guess atheists don't believe in anything, but you know what I mean."

"I'm pretty sure we were all headed to hell one way or another in the first place," Nami said. "I know I am."

"Yeah, for sure," Usopp agreed. Nami smacked him.

"How'd your brothers take it?" Chopper asked Luffy.

Luffy shrugged. "They were really mad at Zoro first and they were pretty upset, but they're used to it now."

Usopp shifted in his seat. "How'd it happen . . . ?"

Luffy looked at Zoro. "You explain, I'm tired."

"I'm tired, too," Zoro snapped, his eyes briefly flaring red. He sighed and the redness dimmed. "We'll take turns, or something."

Luffy nodded and they explained how he'd become a vampire.

"Good job," Sanji said sarcastically when they'd finished.

Zoro's eyes flashed red again. "Shut it."

Sanji found himself mute and stared indignantly at Zoro, who kept his eyes on him and folded his arms, annoyed.

"So you managed to leave your sisters alone for four days?" Nami demanded.

Zoro glanced away from Sanji, breaking the control. "I know it was a dumb mistake. I already went over this with Kuina."

Nami rolled her eyes in response. "Still."

* * *

"So . . . I guess hanging out after school isn't gonna be a thing anymore," Usopp said quietly as he and Luffy got off the bus.

"I'm so tired," Luffy mumbled, yawning hugely. "What'd you say?"

Usopp shook his head. "Never . . . never mind. I just . . . I'm gonna miss hanging out with you."

"Me, too," Luffy mumbled. "I'd like being a vampire more if I wasn't . . . nocturnal . . ."

He sighed. "Sorry, I gotta get to bed." He looked up hopefully. "Do you wanna hang out tonight? I _promise_ me and Zoro won't take your blood unless you say it's okay."

"Maybe . . . another time," Usopp mumbled. "Go get some sleep, okay?"

Luffy sighed in disappointment. "Yeah . . . hey, I'll call you at 10 or something, okay? Can you stay up until then?"

Usopp nodded.

"Okay," Luffy said happily. He yawned again. "G'night . . . I mean, good evening . . ." he frowned. "Bedtime. Yeah. Bye!"

He shuffled down the street and Usopp went quietly to his own house.


	87. Modern-Day: Vampires Zoro and Luffy 4

**KHR-Yunalesca requested another part of this, continued from the previous parts! **

**The request was for Zoro teaching Luffy how to shapeshift, though I took a bit of liberty with the parts after that.**

**This takes place on the night from 82, where Zoro's escorting Luffy around.**

**Non-humans: Vampire Zoro, Vampire Luffy**

**Modern AU**

* * *

Zoro and Luffy sat at a dimly lit bus stop. They'd caught perhaps three lone people wandering the streets, and Zoro, since he'd had his fill of blood the previous night, had let Luffy have all of them. Afterwards they'd either brought the unconscious victim to a safe place or kept an eye on them from a distance until they woke up.

"So," Luffy said cheerfully, his thirst quenched for the time being, "weren't you gonna show me how to be a cat?"

"It's getting late," Zoro remarked. "Or . . . early? I never did work that out . . . anyway, I promised your bros you'd be back before sunrise."

Luffy frowned. "Sunrise isn't gonna be for a few hours at least, right?"

"Well, I've gotta get home soon, too," Zoro said. "I don't like leaving those two alone for so long, especially what with this week and—"

"Just show me how and then we can go home, okay?" Luffy said insistently.

Zoro sighed. "Fine, fine."

Luffy leaned in eagerly.

"Let's get someplace darker, that way no one else will see us," Zoro said. They got up and walked a ways before finding a street with a broken streetlamp.

"Right, so as far as I know, you can turn into three animals, a bat, cat, or toad," Zoro said quickly. "A bat is good if you need to sleep somewhere dark during the day because it's small and you can roost in a tree or rafters or something. A cat's good for hiding and sneaking up on people because their paws are really quiet. And . . . I have _no_ idea what a toad would be good for."

"How do I do it?"

Zoro scratched the back of his neck. "Kind of . . . imagine yourself as that animal, concentrate, focus . . . like this."

He crouched down and in a moment there was a puff of smoke. Luffy jumped in surprise and stared in delight when he saw a green-furred bat frantically flapping to stay hovering in midair.

"You're still green," he said happily. Zoro squeaked at him and transformed back.

"It's basically painless," he explained, "and you can understand people but you can't talk to them in an animal form. If you ever—"

There was a puff of smoke and Luffy vanished. Zoro blinked and looked down to see a brown-eyed, black-furred cat happily turning in circles.

"Were you even listening?" he demanded, exasperated. Luffy crouched and sprang upwards like a coiled spring. Zoro dodged and Luffy fell back to the ground, transforming back a moment later.

"I was only gonna get on your head," he protested.

"I know, that's why I dodged," Zoro snapped.

Luffy put a finger to his chin. "Can we . . . try something?"

"Like what?"

"Okay, you turn into a bat, I'll turn into a cat," Luffy instructed. "This is gonna be fun, okay?"

Zoro raised an eyebrow, but didn't protest, and they both transformed. Luffy stared at the flapping green bat, who looked at him in annoyance.

Luffy promptly pounced and Zoro squeaked in alarm as Luffy tackled him to the ground. Zoro transformed back and glared at Luffy, who turned back as well, and they found themselves lying on the sidewalk, Luffy's hands on Zoro's arm. They quickly disentangled themselves and stood.

"The hell were you thinking?" Zoro snapped, his eyes flashing red.

"I thought it'd be cool to be a predator," Luffy explained, grinning.

"You are a _vampire_ now, you _are_ a predator," Zoro pointed out.

"Oh, good point," Luffy murmured thoughtfully.

Zoro sighed. "I need to get you home or your bros will have my head on a plate."

"Oh, okay," Luffy said. "Guess we should get going . . ."

* * *

Zoro walked Luffy up to about where Luffy got off the school bus and they bade each other goodnight. Luffy cheerfully trotted down the street while Zoro slowly made his way home. Although it took him about an hour, he did eventually remember the way, and found his house again.

To his surprise, he found Kuina sleeping on the couch in the living room. He shook her shoulder and she awoke with a start.

"Hm?" she mumbled. She yawned. "Oh, you're back . . ."

"Did you forget where your bed is?" he joked.

She scowled. "I wanted to talk to you. Thought you'd be back earlier."

"I'm real sorry," he said quickly. "Luffy held me up, and then I had to find my way home again . . ."

"Shut up and let me talk to you," she muttered. "I'm really tired, but I gotta say this before _you_ get too tired to remember it."

He sat and waited.

"Look, when you disappeared . . ."

He stiffened. "I'm sorry."

"Let me finish," she muttered. "When you disappeared, we were both so damn worried about you. You know?"

She sighed.

"You're in charge of us while Dad's in Afghanistan," she continued. "I know it's gotta be hard along with being a vampire and all, but it's your responsibility, isn't it?"

Zoro shook his head slowly. "I know," he murmured. "You're so much better at being a big sister than I am a big brother. If only I weren't . . . what I am now, I could step up my game and actually be a good older brother to you two." He scratched the back of his neck. "I guess it was my fault it happened, in a way . . . I must seem like an awful brother."

"Don't be stupid," she scolded. "I know you're doing the best you can, what with everything that's going on. I'm just . . . asking you to be home sooner at night, and if you can't get back home for some dumb reason . . . for god's sake, pull yourself together, ask to use someone's phone or find a payphone, _call_ us, and we'll come get you."

"That is smarter than what I did," Zoro agreed. "I mean . . . I couldn't move around during the day, so . . ." he shook his head. "Excuses, right? I was dumb, I made a dumb mistake, I swear it won't happen again."

"It's scary when you're gone," she said quietly. "Even though the door's locked and all . . . it feels safer when you're here, even if you're sleeping in the day."

"I'm really sorry," he said again. "You're strong, aren't you? Hell, you're the strongest person I know. If anything bad happened, you could kick the perp's ass, no problem."

She grinned. "You think so?"

"Of course I do," he said firmly. "Perona's lucky to have such a great young lady to look up to."

"Oh, I bet she looks up to you more," Kuina protested. She frowned. "I'm sorry if that stuff I said before bothered you. You're a _great_ big brother, and I know you can't help what you are . . ."

"It's okay," Zoro reassured her. "Next time Luffy tries to hold me up, I'll bring him here. I'm sure he'll be happy to hang out until he needs to get home, and he knows the way to his house, I'm sure . . ."

"Unlike you."

Zoro scowled and she laughed.

"Alright, get to bed," he muttered. She yawned and nodded, standing.

"G'night," she murmured. "Get plenty of sleep tomorrow."

"Next time you want to talk, don't sacrifice _your_ sleep, okay?" Zoro said sternly. She waved a hand with a noncommittal grunt and shuffled down the hall, closing her door with a _click_ a moment later.

Zoro sighed with a smile and went to his room to find something to read—not before checking on Perona, who was sound asleep.

* * *

**I'm going to try to gradually establish more details about this AU as it goes on, but if you have any questions feel free to drop me a line!**


	88. Anise 3

**Non-humans: WW Zoro, WW Luffy, WW Sanji, WW Nami**

* * *

Nami sighed as Luffy led her through the forest.

"I swear, Luffy," she grumbled, bringing her tail around to the front to brush out plant debris, "if this 'cool thing' isn't a pile of gold or something that leads to one—"

"Nope, but it's better than gold," Luffy promised.

Nami rolled her eyes. "Somehow I doubt that. You'd pick meat over gold any day."

Luffy glanced back and frowned. "Who wouldn't? Gold's nice and shiny, but it doesn't fill your belly."

"True, but you can use that gold to buy even more food," Nami pointed out.

Luffy nodded and turned back to the front. "Didn't think about that . . . well, I'd take both. First the meat, then the gold. Then I'd give the gold to you."

"What?" she exclaimed. "You would?"

"Well, yeah, 'cause you'd end up taking it one way or another," he explained.

They kept walking.

". . . See, you're not denying it."

"Wasn't going to. Are we almost there?"

He sniffed the air (they were headed upwind) and grinned. "Yeah, there it is . . . we're getting close!"

Nami sniffed and caught a curious scent. She frowned and sniffed again.

"What is that scent . . . ?" she murmured. It grew slightly stronger as they walked.

Luffy giggled. "You'll see!"

Soon enough they came to a large patch of green leaves just on the edge of a clearing. Luffy gestured to it proudly and Nami immediately covered her lower face.

"Anise?" she exclaimed, her voice muffled. "Luffy, what the hell?!"

"I wanted to bring you here," he explained cheerfully, turning in a circle, "'cause this stuff smells really good and it makes you feel really good too, at least for a little while, and you're the only werewolf on board who hasn't had fun with it yet!"

She backed up a step and shook her head. "I appreciate it," she said slowly, "but I'm sorry to say I'm not interested in going loopy for some herb."

Luffy frowned. "But . . ."

"I didn't think anise was _this_ common, how do you keep finding it?"

Luffy knelt, grabbed a handful of leaves, and shoved them at her. "Come on, it smells good, try it!"

He cheerfully tickled her hand with the leaves and she lowered it to swat them away. "Cut it out," she snapped.

"Fine, you stay here and be grumpy, I'm gonna have a good time," he announced. He promptly threw himself into the anise and, after a moment, started rolling around.

Nami rolled her eyes and went to cover her nose again, but frowned and sniffed her hand. Luffy had rubbed the leaves on it . . .

It _did_ smell good, she thought as she sniffed it again. Really good.

She knelt and picked up the leaves Luffy had dropped, holding them to her nose and inhaling slowly. This was even stronger and better, and at this height she caught a better scent of the big patch Luffy was rolling around in.

* * *

"You do know Luffy's with her," Zoro pointed out as he walked along with Sanji. "And it's not like she's helpless in the first place."

"Even if she's not in danger, I still want to see her," Sanji protested. "Why'd you come along, anyway?"

"To make sure you didn't get lost."

Sanji stopped and slowly turned to stare at him.

"What?"

Sanji shook his head slowly and they went on their way, sniffing for their friends' scents every so often.

"Found them," Zoro announced. "They're upwind."

Sanji sniffed and nodded. "Wow, you were actually useful for once!"

Zoro scowled and they walked against the wind. Soon enough they caught another scent mixed with Luffy's and Nami's.

"Smells familiar," Zoro murmured, raising his head slightly.

They soon reached their friends and stopped abruptly. Luffy was hyperactively chasing his tail while laughing, and Nami was curled up in the anise patch lazily, watching him while giggling.

"Okay," Zoro muttered as he and Sanji quickly covered their noses. "How're we gonna do this . . . ?"

"Nami-_san_," Sanji said, "my dear, would you come be by my side, we should go back to the ship . . ."

Nami sat up and saw them. "Oh, hey," she said, grinning dopily. "Sanji-_kun_, Zoro . . ."

"Oh, Nami-_san_, you're so lovely even when you're drunk," Sanji sighed happily.

"Really, Nami, get over here," Zoro said. "I thought you'd have more sense than to get into this stuff . . ."

She squinted in confusion. "Hm . . . sense . . . cents . . . scents . . . got none. Nope." She giggled again and fell back. "C'mon, guys, this stuff is great, get in here . . ."

"Right away, Nami-_san_!" Sanji cried, immediately diving into the patch next to her. She threw her arms up in the air as if celebrating.

"The fuck are you doing, cook?!" Zoro demanded, going in after him.

* * *

"Oh, for the love of—GUYS, I FOUND THEM!" Franky bellowed.

The others found him soon enough and stopped to survey the scene. Luffy was doing some rather impressive snake-like movements around a thick tree trunk. Zoro was lying lazily on his back in the anise patch and grinning up at some clouds. Sanji, somehow, was content to snuggle against Zoro's shoulder, while Nami lay on her side a couple feet from them, giggling at their current positions.

"How and why does this keep happening?" Usopp groaned.

"Oh, they're just having fun," Brook said reassuringly.

Luffy abandoned his tree and jogged over. "Hi!" he exclaimed, tackling Usopp to the ground. "Hey-let's-go-play-a-game!"

"Not now," Usopp said patiently, shoving Luffy off of him. "We're going back to the ship. Understand?"

Luffy frowned. "What? No, that's no fun, let's stay here forever—"

"'Forever' is a very long time," Brook remarked.

Robin came forward and gently picked up Nami. "I'm sure you can explain, and I'm sure you have a very good reason for this," she said, amused, "but you can tell me about it later. We're going back to the ship now, got it?"

"Hm . . ." Nami sighed, resting her head on Robin's shoulder. "Ship . . . Sunny . . . the weather's nice . . ."

She giggled again. Robin used a phantom hand to brush some hair away from her face.

"Anyway," Franky said, going to Luffy and pulling him away from Usopp, "we can let them walk it off, or sleep it off, or whatever. Should only take an hour or two, right?"

He slung Luffy over his shoulder. Luffy squirmed for a bit, but quickly gave up and started drumming Franky's back with his hands cheerfully.

Chopper and Brook came forward to get the last two. Chopper turned big and scooped up Sanji, who immediately latched onto him, and Brook carefully got Zoro, who was fairly docile.

"Okay then, I'll bring up the rear just in case," Usopp said as they started walking.

"Just in case what?" Franky asked curiously, readjusting his grip on Luffy's torso.

Usopp shrugged. "Exactly. You never know."

"Unless you're Robin, 'cause . . . then you're real smart . . . and you know _everything_," Nami said wisely.

"I do _not_," Robin protested, though she smiled, taken by surprise from the compliment.

"I mean, you pretty much do," Franky said. "Luffy, hold still."

"No," Luffy said firmly, climbing atop Franky's head to perch like a bird.

"Fine, just stick with us," Franky muttered.

"You're so big . . . and warm," Sanji said sleepily, resting against Chopper's warm fur.

"You need to stop doing this," Chopper scolded.

"Tell them that when they can properly process speech again," Usopp muttered.

Zoro frowned vaguely as he let himself be carried. "Hey . . . Brook . . . you're strong . . ."

"Why, thank you, Zoro-_san_," Brook said politely.

"I mean . . . why?" Zoro muttered. "No muscle . . . how d'you move . . . ?"

"Zoro-_san_," Brook said solemnly, "the answer to that question . . . lies deep inside your heart."

Zoro squinted at his chest and slapped a limp hand to it. "Can't get to it . . ."

"Look, don't go hurting yourself while you're like this," Franky said sternly.

"Don't do it regardless!" Chopper exclaimed.

"Mm . . . kay," Zoro mumbled.

* * *

They returned to the ship and dumped the men in the bedroom. Sanji and Zoro were happy enough to lie on beds, while Usopp had to stay in the room to keep an eye on Luffy. Robin brought Nami up to their bedroom and gently laid her on her bed. Nami looked at her with vague confusion but apparently decided to go with it.

* * *

"Damn it, my head," Zoro groaned, sitting up.

"You guys feel okay?" Usopp asked, glancing up. Luffy had been calming down over the last twenty minutes or so and was now lying on the floor, rubbing his temples.

"Okay as I've ever been," Sanji muttered. "Ah, but it was worth it, to spend time with my Nami-_san_ like that . . ."

"So, explain," Usopp said sternly.

"I found the anise and I wanted to show Nami," Luffy announced. He winced at his own voice and lowered the volume. "We both had fun with it for a while, even though she didn't want to at first, and . . . I think Zoro and Sanji showed up later."

"Yeah, we were looking for them, and then _this_ idiot dives into the plant the second Nami asks him to," Zoro snapped, putting a hand to his forehead. "I went to go after him, but then . . ."

Usopp put his face in his hands exasperatedly. "For the love of . . . Luffy, you have got to stop doing this, I don't care if it's fun for you or whatever. Zoro, next time, just come get one of us . . ."

"Oh, good point," Zoro mumbled. "What, you aren't going to scold _him_?" he gestured to Sanji.

"Why?" Usopp demanded. "We both know he won't listen and if this kind of thing happens again, he'd just do the same thing if Nami asks."

"Of course," Sanji said immediately.

Zoro rolled his eyes and lay back down. "I need a nap."

"I'll be up soon to make dinner," Sanji promised, lying back down as well. "Just gonna sleep this off . . ."

"Luffy, you should take a nap, too," Usopp muttered.

Luffy sighed. "Well . . ."

Before he could finish his thought (if there was any more to it), he promptly fell onto his side and started snoring. Usopp stared at him in disbelief before shaking his head slowly and leaving the room.

* * *

"I'm sober," Nami announced, sitting up slowly and wincing.

"Oh, good," Robin said, smiling.

"Keep it down," Nami hissed.

"Sorry," Robin murmured. "How do you feel?"

"Kind of . . . hungover," Nami mumbled. "My head . . . stupid Luffy . . ."

Rather embarrassed, she explained what had happened.

"I'm sure this won't happen again," Robin said, a hint of a threat to her voice.

"Of course not," Nami agreed. "Thanks for bringing me back, sorry for being weird . . ."

Robin smiled. "I thought you were rather cute like that."

"I'm cute all the time," Nami said promptly. "Anyway . . . wake me for dinner, will you?"

She lay back down, curled up on her side, and slowly went to sleep. Robin pulled the blanket over her before leaving the room.


	89. Bathtime 4

**supercoolpk and A Japanese Guy requested everyone as a werewolf taking a bath! My god this cohptohap was fun to write.**

**Non-humans: WW Zoro, WW Luffy, WW Sanji, WW Usopp, WW Nami, WW Robin**

* * *

As the Strawhats finished up lunch, Franky looked around and sniffed very obviously.

"What, did someone fart?" Luffy asked curiously. He sniffed. "I don't smell a fart. Usopp, did you—?"

"No," Usopp said. "Well—yes, but that was earlier."

"I didn't smell a fart," Franky said exasperatedly. "I was just gonna say that I don't know how you guys can have such sensitive noses and _not_ detect how bad you all smell."

"Excuse you," Nami snapped.

"Nami, _he_ didn't fart, he doesn't need to be excused," Luffy said patiently.

Nami hit him. "Get that off your mind already, no one else is talking about that!"

"My nose is sensitive, and I can smell you guys, too," Chopper said. "You all smell bad. No offense . . ."

"I don't even have a nose, and I can 'scents' it from across the room," Brook remarked.

"Your nose is metal," Zoro said, gesturing to Franky. "How does _that_ work?"

"Well, it—" Franky caught himself. "Stop trying to change the subject!"

"Yeah, we're talking about farts," Luffy agreed. Nami hit him again.

"No, not that," Franky snapped. "Point we're trying to make is, it's about time you all had a bath."

Everyone froze.

"Captain's orders say no one needs a bath," Luffy said quickly.

"Then I'm afraid we're going to stage a mutiny, captain," Brook said solemnly.

"Captain's orders say no mutinies allowed."

Franky stared at him. "Do you . . . know what a mutiny is . . . ?"

"Now, calm down, Luffy," Robin said gently, sitting down serenely after setting her dishes in the sink. "I have to agree with Franky. It's been quite a while since any of us have had a bath."

"You . . . agree with him?" Usopp said blankly. "But . . ."

"Hear me out," Robin said. She adjusted her tail underneath her. "One way or another, we're all going to get a bath."

Franky, Brook, and Chopper nodded.

"So . . . we can turn it into a game," she continued. "Once everyone's done with lunch . . ." she glanced at Brook and Chopper, who had yet to finish eating, "you three can give us . . . oh, a five-minute head start. In that time, we'll all hide around the ship, and after five minutes, you three can get the bath going and start searching. First found, first bathed. Sound fair?"

"I mean . . ." Sanji said reluctantly. "Of course, Robin-_chan_, you're a brilliant planner . . . I'm still not fond of the idea of being found . . ."

"You'll obviously get found before me," Zoro muttered. Sanji growled at him.

"I guess so," Luffy said to Robin. The others gave murmurs of reluctant assent.

"So it starts when we're finished eating?" Chopper said. Robin nodded.

"But . . . Robin, you're a werewolf, too," Usopp said. "Aren't . . . _you_ averse to baths now, too?"

"That's absolutely right," she agreed. "And on that note, I'll see you later."

She stood and ran out the door. The others stared after her, dumbfounded.

"Did she just cheat?" Nami exclaimed disbelievingly. "At her own game?"

"So much for that rule," Franky muttered.

"That's _my_ thing!" Nami yelled. She stood and ran out the door as well.

"Wait for me, my dears!" Sanji yelled, running after them.

"I ain't letting you take my spot, curly!" Zoro snarled, darting out the door.

"Hey, wait up!" Luffy and Usopp exclaimed, running after them and bumping into each other on their way.

Franky, Chopper, and Brook stared after them.

"They're such puppies," Franky muttered.

"I'll go start the bath," Chopper offered.

* * *

"Listen, curly-cue, this was _my_ spot, I got here first!" Zoro snarled.

"Yeah, well, I _saw_ it first!" Sanji growled.

"I _thought_ of it first!"

"Bull_shit_ you did, asshole!"

They butted heads and growled, preparing to fight—

"With all this noise, I assume you two would like to go first?"

They turned and saw Brook quietly watching them.

"Were you planning to hide under the table?" he asked curiously, gesturing to the center table of the aquarium room. "I must say, it's not a very good spot . . ."

"_He_ thought of it," Zoro and Sanji said together, pointing at each other.

"Now, now," Brook said quickly before they could start fighting again, "we did have an agreement, and I'll have to use force if you two don't uphold your end."

They glanced at each other.

"Then again," Brook remarked, turning away, "only men keep their promises, so I suppose if you two don't uphold the agreement . . ."

Though they knew what he was up to, their pride rose to the surface, and so they reluctantly followed him out.

"Don't strip on the way," Sanji hissed as Zoro casually began removing his shirt and _haramaki_. "Uncouth mutt . . ."

"Saves time, doesn't it?" Zoro muttered.

They reached the bath. The werewolves eyed the water apprehensively. Zoro was in boxers at this point and tossed his clothes to the corner. Sanji, meanwhile, took his sweet time getting his clothes off, and he wore several layers on top, extending the process of procrastination.

Brook clucked his tongue, which was very odd, since he had no tongue. "Really, Sanji-_san_ . . ."

"No one asked for a strip-tease, cook," Zoro pointed out.

"Like I would do something like that for either of you!" Sanji snarled.

"So you're saying you _would_ do it in the right circumstances?" Brook asked curiously.

"Well, supposing Nami-_san_ or—"

"Finish that sentence and I'll cut you," Zoro growled. "No one wants to hear your perverted fantasies, either!"

"It's not like yours are any better! Or do you have the mental capacity to think of such things?!"

"For god's sake, finish stripping and let's get this over with!" Zoro yelled.

Brook sheathed his sword, leaned on the cane, and whistled. Zoro and Sanji looked at him in confusion, wondering when he'd drawn the blade and how he could whistle without lips, when Sanji's clothes fell to the floor in tatters.

"Hey!" he exclaimed.

"That took years of practice," Brook remarked. "Are you impressed?"

"Impressed my foot, those were my clothes!"

"Oh, I'll buy you a new suit later," Brook said dismissively. "In the meantime . . ."

He whacked the back of Zoro's knees with his cane, toppling him face-first into the water.

Zoro sputtered as he came up. "The hell is your problem?!" he snarled.

Sanji looked like he was about to split his sides laughing. "God, you should see yourself, moss-head, you look so dumb—!"

Another well-placed whack sent Sanji toppling into the water in the same fashion.

"First my clothes and now my dignity?!" he snarled.

"Like you ever had any of that," Zoro muttered.

"Gentlemen, please," Brook said, pushing them apart as they got into sitting positions. "Cooperate and this will be over faster."

They folded their arms and turned away, grumbling in discomfort as Brook brought out the brushes.

* * *

"_There_ you guys are!" Chopper exclaimed.

Luffy frowned. "How'd you find us?"

"I can smell you," Chopper pointed out. "Also, um . . . that spot . . . is kind of obvious."

They were in the men's bedroom. Luffy had stretched his limbs across the ceiling, pressing them to the four corners of the room. Usopp was perched upon his back, shaking.

"It is?" Luffy said disappointedly. "Well, my arms were getting tired anyway."

"What?" Usopp said, just before Luffy's limbs snapped back into place, sending both of them crashing to the floor.

"Warn me first," Usopp mumbled, straightening up and brushing himself off.

"Okay," Luffy said unconcernedly. He sighed. "I guess we gotta go have a bath . . ."

Usopp whined in protest.

"Yeah, you both agreed to this," Chopper reminded them sternly. "And I'm gonna get Franky to help me if you don't cooperate."

They reluctantly followed him out and found Franky searching the deck.

"Hey, any of you seen the girls?" he asked when he spotted them.

The three looked around and shook their heads.

"I figure they're hiding together," he muttered, "but no luck so far."

Luffy sniffed. "I smell them, but I dunno for sure where they are," he admitted.

"And they might not be together," Usopp added. "I know we all have issues with being alone, but . . . it's usually okay on the ship if we, y'know, have an idea that the others are nearby."

Franky looked at him. "Weren't you the one who was crying when Sis left you in the aquarium room for . . . ten minutes?"

"I'm better at it now," Usopp protested, looking away and playing with his tail around his legs.

"Well, whatever," Franky said decidedly. "Hey, deer-gorilla, wanna trade? You look for the girls with that nose, I'll take care of these guys . . ."

"Yeah," Chopper agreed. He trotted away and Franky led the other two to the bathroom.

Brook was just finishing up with Zoro and Sanji.

"Oh, hey," Luffy said cheerfully. "You guys were hiding together?"

"As if!" they yelled at the same time.

"Wow, calm down," Usopp muttered.

"They were together, yes," Brook said. "Out, you two."

They climbed out, shook themselves (the others covered their faces), and began toweling off.

"Hey, get me some booze," Zoro muttered to Sanji as they left with the towels around their waists, heading to the men's room for fresh clothes.

"When we are _decent_ I will," Sanji hissed. "Brook, you owe me a new suit, don't forget!"

Brook saluted and went out a moment later to help Chopper search for the girls.

Luffy and Usopp eyed the water as Luffy placed his hat aside.

"You go first," Luffy muttered.

"No, you," Usopp hissed.

"Captain's orders."

"_Vice_-captain's orders."

"You're going together, and if you don't hurry up, I'll toss you both in with your clothes on," Franky threatened.

They quietly stripped. Franky picked them up in turn and dropped them into the tub. Luffy moaned dramatically and went limp; Usopp frantically propped him up to keep his head out of the water.

"Don't drown in the tub," Franky scolded as he got started on scrubbing them clean.

* * *

Nami folded her arms grumpily as Chopper and Brook looked around.

"Stupid nose of yours," she muttered. "It's unfair, I'll tell you what . . ."

Chopper had tracked her down and found her inside one of her tangerine bushes.

"You smell a lot like tangerines in the first place, so at first I thought you'd just stowed money in one of the bushes, but then I realized . . ." Chopper said quietly as she brushed away a couple leaves.

"So why aren't we going inside?" she asked. "Not that I'm complaining."

"Oh, we thought you and Robin-_san_ should take your bath together," Brook said absently, looking around. "Two lovely ladies, nude in the same bath . . ."

Nami growled and socked him in the back of the skull, sending him crashing to the deck.

"That's not a bad idea, though," she said after a moment.

"Anyway, we can't find Robin," Chopper admitted.

Zoro and Sanji came out of the men's room fully-dressed.

"Stupid cook, shouldn't take so long to put on your damn clothes, I want my booze," Zoro snarled.

"Well, if you were more civilized—oh, Nami-_san_!" Sanji exclaimed. "Waiting on bathtime?"

"Mm," Nami muttered. "Either of you know where Robin is?"

They looked around and sniffed.

"Her scent just . . . ends around here," Sanji remarked, puzzled.

"Yeah, that's the weird thing," Chopper said as Brook picked himself up. "She can't have just vanished . . ."

"Maybe she went north," Zoro suggested, looking upwards.

"Stupid moss-head, I've told you before, 'north' doesn't mean 'up!'" Sanji snarled.

"No, wait, he's right," Nami said. "ROBIN, GET DOWN HERE!"

"What?" Sanji, Brook, and Chopper said together, just before Robin descended to the deck on a chain of hands.

"So I'm the last to be found?" she asked, seeming rather pleased with herself.

"Ah, Robin-_chan_, what a clever hiding spot," Sanji cooed.

"You were on top of the crow's nest?!" Chopper exclaimed.

Robin shrugged. "Well, yes, but I guess I can't use that spot anymore."

"That was a good spot," Nami muttered. "We've gotta take our bath now."

Robin grimaced for a split second. "Right."

"Shall I wash you?" Brook offered innocently.

Sanji and Zoro kicked and punched him, sending him flying across the deck straight into a wall.

"Seriously, though, who's going to do it?" Zoro said after a moment.

"I could," Sanji offered.

Nami sent him flying across the deck to join Brook.

"Or you two could wash each other," Zoro suggested. "I mean, we'll know if you don't, so . . ."

They glanced at each other.

"Better than someone else doing it," Nami said eventually. Robin nodded.

"Okay, Luffy and Usopp should be finishing up soon, so . . . go on," Chopper said. The girls headed away.

When they reached the bathroom, Luffy and Usopp were tying towels around their waists while Franky scrubbed off water from his body.

"Don't shake yourselves off like that, I'm all wet," he grumbled. He spotted the girls. "Oh, hey. Where _were_ you?"

"Don't worry about it," Nami said quickly.

Luffy and Usopp trailed out of the bathroom to get dressed. Franky followed them out and shut the door.

Nami and Robin eyed the water apprehensively.

"I'll go first," Robin offered, albeit reluctantly.

"Thanks," Nami murmured. Robin slowly undressed and got herself into the tub. The water was lukewarm now.

She sighed and drew her knees up to her chest as Nami knelt and grabbed a brush.

"Don't fight back," Nami warned her as she started scrubbing Robin's back.

"I'm not very strong in water, remember?" Robin murmured.

Nami finished soon and Robin got out, shaking herself off and spraying Nami.

"Oh, sorry," she said with a touch of amusement. Nami rolled her eyes and undressed as Robin wrapped a towel around herself.

Nami lowered herself into the tub, bringing her tail around to the front to play with as Robin started washing her hair.

* * *

"I think once a month is fair for baths," Franky said at dinner. Everyone was dry and clean now. "Yeah?"

"No baths ever," Luffy announced.

"Seriously, you gotta stay clean."

"Once a month sounds fine," Robin said.


	90. Find Everyone!

**A Japanese Guy requested all the werewolves separated from each other!**

**Non-humans: WW Zoro, WW Luffy, WW Sanji, WW Usopp, WW Nami, WW Robin**

* * *

"What do you—they've _all_ been captured?!" Franky exclaimed, kneeling by Chopper with Brook. "How?!"

"We were all fighting off the Marines," Chopper said frantically, waving his arms, "and then they suddenly threw down some things that let out sleeping gas, and they put masks on, but we didn't get masks in time and we all passed out, I guess, and I woke up not too long ago and I wasn't in a cell so I don't think they thought I was a threat, those bastards, so I managed to escape and came here for backup!"

Franky and Brook stared at him.

"Well, shit," Franky muttered. "Good thinking, coming back here right away." He straightened up. "Yo, skeleton, you think you can handle guarding Sunny by yourself?"

"Of course," Brook said easily.

"Super. You take care of that. Meanwhile . . ." he folded his arms and grinned at Chopper. "I'll help out with busting those guys out."

Chopper nodded. "We'll be back soon," he said to Brook quickly.

"Don't lower your guard, you two," Brook said cheerfully as they ran off.

* * *

Luffy woke slowly and sat up.

"Ow," he muttered. "Stupid Marines . . ."

One glance around him determined that he was in a jail cell, the bars were probably Seastone, and he was alone.

"Oh," he whispered. He crawled to the bars and grabbed them, only to slump to the floor. He backed away again and lay on the floor.

"I can handle this," he said to himself. "The others'll come soon . . . we're gonna bust out . . ."

He hesitated.

"Even though . . . no one's around right now . . ." he continued. "And . . . I'm alone . . ."

He held out for perhaps five minutes before finally breaking out into frantic whimpering.

"Where are they?" he whined. He started rolling around on the floor, messing up his clothes. "Everyone . . ."

* * *

Zoro paced around his cell, occasionally pausing to kick the stone wall.

"Stupid Marines," he muttered. "Stupid . . . all alone . . ."

He whirled around again, continuing to pace, agitated. He suddenly turned and punched the old wooden bench in the cell, breaking the thing in two.

A howl escaped him for several seconds.

"Someone's gotta come soon," he muttered to himself. "A guard, or . . . Franky, or Brook . . ."

His tail drooped again.

"Where are they . . . ?"

* * *

The muscled men, temporarily detained in a cell for an altercation at the local tavern, clutched each other in fear and cowered from the noise in the cell next door.

"What kind of monster's locked up in there?" one whispered to the other.

"And why are they next to us?" the other one whispered.

A sudden, short scream of anger and frustration caused them to flinch again. Soon the bangs, crashes, cracks, and cries resumed.

"I wonder if we can request a different cell," the first man whispered.

* * *

Usopp hugged his bag to his chest, curled up on the cell's old wooden bench while he quietly cried.

"I . . . wanna see them . . ." he sniffled.

* * *

Sanji's legs were shackled together, as the Marines had apparently taken notice of his kicks during the earlier scuffle. As such, he could not possibly kick in the bars or stone walls, and so had been reduced to sitting against the wall, whimpering and howling.

* * *

Robin had held out the longest, but fifteen minutes had proved too much even for her, and after a bout of agitated pacing, she had settled for curling up quietly on the wooden bench, her face buried in her knees.

* * *

Franky and Chopper snuck into the base as stealthily as they knew how. This, of course, meant they were discovered within thirty seconds, but they'd knocked out any soldier who came their way and continued searching for their friends.

The sound of howling reached their ears and they stopped.

"That's . . . oh, that's Sanji!" Chopper exclaimed.

"Oh yeah, he does get pretty vocal when he's upset," Franky said, nodding.

They followed the near-constant howling until they found Sanji, resting against the wall.

"Sanji!"

Sanji looked over and jumped up, promptly tripping over the shackles on his ankles. Nevertheless, he looked up at them with obvious relief, and his tail wagged back and forth happily.

"Gimme a minute," Franky said. He pulled out a toolbox (from where, no one knew) and rummaged through it until he found an odd, skinny device. This he used on the keyhole until the lock released and the door swung open.

"Thanks," Sanji said gratefully, slowly standing and shuffling forward. Franky picked the lock on the shackles as well and got them off. Sanji stretched out his legs, pretending that he was leaning on Franky for balance rather than for comfort.

"Okay, the others might be in separate cells, too," he said, stretching his arms. "Let's go find Nami-_san_ and Robin-_chan_, and then we can go!"

"What about the guys?" Chopper demanded.

"Well . . ."

"Sanji!"

"I'm kidding."

* * *

Alerted by a nearby howl, they found Zoro kicking the wall of his cell. He looked up and froze.

"Oh," he said, his tail inadvertently wagging.

Franky picked the lock and Zoro strode out, stretching out his limbs. "Thanks," he said brusquely, though his tail betrayed his emotions.

Chopper hugged his leg and they all went on their way.

Not far off was Luffy, rolling around on the floor of his cell. He spotted them and jumped up, immediately running to the bars and promptly sliding to the floor again from the effects of Seastone.

"Stay there, idiot," Zoro muttered as Franky took care of the door. When it was open, Luffy jumped up and drew all four into a big hug, his tail hitting some of them with how much it wagged.

They eventually pushed him off. He just grinned and said, "Okay, let's find everyone else!"

* * *

"I don't pray, but . . . oh, my _god_," Zoro said with awe.

"Wow, what the hell?" Luffy exclaimed.

Chopper hid behind Zoro's legs as Sanji nervously said, "Nami-_san_, my dear, we've come to rescue you!"

"Then hurry up," Nami growled, glaring at them from behind the bars.

Franky snapped out of his shock and quickly took care of the lock. The second he withdrew, Nami pulled open the door and stomped out.

"About time," she hissed.

For a moment she only looked around. And then, with no warning, her face screwed up and she started to cry.

"Thanks, guys," she mumbled, drying off her face with a hand.

Luffy gave her a one-armed hug. "No worries, right? Come on, Usopp and Robin are still somewhere, we gotta find them!"

Nami nodded and blinked hard several times, regaining her resolve.

"Hey!"

The group looked over and saw the two muscled men in the next cell.

"Can you let us out, too?" one of them whispered. "If you can let out that monster, you can let us out, right?"

"Nah," Luffy said. "And don't call her a monster."

"Even if it's true," Zoro said under his breath, and was immediately kicked simultaneously by Nami and Sanji.

"Please?" the second man begged. "We've got money."

"No, we don't," the first one muttered, confused.

"They don't need to know that!"

The two looked up and realized the pirates had already left.

* * *

Usopp had been crying for quite a while before his friends found him. By the time he looked up and processed they were really there, Franky had unlocked the door, and so he jumped up and ran outside, tackling Luffy with a hug and crying into his shoulder.

"Hey, Usopp," Luffy said happily, standing up with Usopp still clinging to him. He pushed him away and grinned. "Don't worry, we're here!"

"Yeah," Usopp said quietly, quickly rubbing his hands over his face to get rid of his tears. "Thank you!"

Nami smiled gently, recovered from her own emotional fit. "So, Robin's the last one?"

"We must find her immediately!" Sanji declared, his tail wagging at the very thought.

"I wonder how she handles loneliness," Luffy murmured thoughtfully.

It didn't take the group very long at all to find her. She was still curled up silently on the bench, her face hidden, but now she was shaking faintly.

"Robin-_chan_!" Sanji exclaimed. Robin lifted her head, revealing faint fear in her eyes, but this faded so quickly the others thought they might have imagined it. She straightened up and stood as her legs stopped trembling.

Franky undid the lock and she slowly came outside.

"Good to see we're all here," she murmured with evident relief, her tail wagging.

Nami hugged her before Sanji could. "Hey," she murmured. "Are you doing okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine," Robin said reassuringly, hugging her tightly in return. Chopper quietly hugged Robin's leg.

"I gotta say," Franky muttered as the group made their way down the hall, heading back for the ship, "this place has awful security."

"Maybe they had budget cuts and couldn't afford guards," Zoro suggested.

Luffy laughed. "Well, it doesn't matter!" he said cheerfully, his tail wagging as usual. "Come on, let's go back to the ship and have dinner!"

"Already thinking of food," Franky muttered.


	91. Don't Touch

**phonenix requested WW Luffy getting attacked involving his ears, and subsequently agitated about having his ears touched.**

**Non-humans: WW Zoro, WW Luffy**

* * *

Slicing a new doorway into the stone, Zoro burst into the cell, Usopp close behind. Luffy looked up, tear tracks evident on his face, and promptly leapt on them in a hug, knocking everyone to the ground.

"Guys!" he cried, his tail wagging. "You're here, you came—"

"Hey, get off," Zoro said sternly. "Luffy, you hurt anywhere?"

Luffy hesitated, and his tail slowly stopped wagging. Usopp looked at him worriedly and said, "Let's—let's get back to the ship and have Chopper look . . . okay?"

Luffy nodded slowly. Zoro glanced at the handcuffs on his wrists and said, "Usopp, the keys?"

Usopp pulled out a key ring and tested them out one-by-one until the shackles fell away. Luffy rubbed his wrists and quietly thanked him.

"Let's go," Zoro said abruptly, his tail lashing. "Nami and the others are getting Sunny ready to go."

* * *

Luffy sat in Chopper's office, fidgeting quietly.

"These will heal soon," Chopper said in relief after checking over the bruises and cuts on Luffy's torso. "Ointment and bandages . . . is there anywhere else that hurts?"

Luffy twitched, his tail slowly curling between his legs. Chopper frowned. "Luffy? Are you okay?"

"My ears," Luffy mumbled.

Chopper came around to check. Luffy's ears were red and faintly scratched.

"It doesn't look bad," he said comfortingly, reaching to touch one ear gently. "A little bit of ointment for a couple days, and—"

Luffy gasped when Chopper's hoof brushed his ear, and his hands flew up to cover the sides of his head as he whimpered.

"Luffy?"

Chopper moved to stand next to Luffy on the bed. Luffy looked at him.

"Don't . . . touch my ears . . ." Luffy whispered.

Chopper slowly nodded and patted Luffy's arm. "I'm sorry . . . do you think you can put on the ointment yourself?"

Luffy nodded and slowly lowered his hands.

* * *

Three days passed. Luffy was all healed from his scuffles with the Marines, but he still flinched when anyone's hand came too close to his head. The whole crew was saddened by this; something that had once made Luffy so happy now only made him flinch away.

Luffy and Usopp sat together on the railing, fishing, though so far their efforts had been fruitless.

"Wow, those fish are pretty stupid," Luffy remarked cheerfully. "Don't they see the tasty food?"

Usopp raised an eyebrow. "You know, that might be them being smart. If they see it, they know it's bait, and they don't want to be caught."

Luffy nodded thoughtfully. Usopp glanced at him.

"Luffy . . . ?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I . . . scratch your ear . . . ?"

Luffy covered his ear, keeping his left hand on the fishing pole.

"Okay, sorry," Usopp said quickly. He held up his hand. "Look, my hands are over here, I'm not touching . . ."

Luffy slowly lowered his hand. "Okay."

* * *

"Hey . . ."

Luffy glanced over at Usopp. It had been about a week since he'd been freed from the Marine base. He'd been lying on the grass when Usopp had come and sat next to him.

Usopp slowly raised his hand. "I'm not going to hurt you," he said slowly. "Okay?"

Luffy eyed the hand and fidgeted. "I know, but . . ."

"Is this okay?" Usopp asked carefully, keeping his hand in the air, well away from Luffy's head.

"Yeah . . ."

"I'm . . . I'm moving it closer," Usopp said, keeping his hand in Luffy's line of sight as he inched it forward. Luffy didn't protest.

"I bet . . . you miss ear scratches," Usopp said, stopping his hand for a minute. Luffy nodded, playing with his tail.

For a moment neither moved nor spoke. Then Luffy slowly took Usopp's hand and brought it closer to his head. He hesitated, then made Usopp's hand touch his ear and kept it there.

"You okay?" Usopp asked quietly. Luffy nodded.

Slowly he dropped his own hands, and Usopp kept his hand on Luffy's ear.

Luffy fidgeted. "Go ahead . . ."

Usopp hesitantly started scratching. Luffy was tense at first, but he soon relaxed, sighed, and closed his eyes. As Usopp continued, Luffy ended up resting his head on Usopp's legs, essentially trapping him there.

Zoro came by, stopped, and gave Usopp a thumbs-up. Usopp grinned in return.


	92. Modern-Day: Vampire Zoro

**Lew requested Zoro's story from the modern day! Oh cool this cohptohap endED UP BEING REALLY LONG**

**Non-humans: Vampire Zoro**

**Modern AU**

* * *

"So," Zoro said sternly as he walked Perona home from the bus stop, "would you like to tell me why there was a call from school today?"

Perona looked down. "It's nothing," she mumbled.

"Perona . . ."

She fidgeted. "I punched a boy at recess."

"Why?"

"'Cause . . . he was, he was making fun of your hair," she exclaimed. "Your hair's _cool_, it's not dumb or anything—and then he started making fun of _my_ hair—"

"Hey, hey, it's okay," Zoro said quickly, kneeling down so they were at eye level. "Listen, it's not okay to hit people for something like that. Thanks for standing up for me, but I don't care if people call my hair silly or something."

This, of course, was a lie, but if it made Perona feel better . . .

"And your hair's way cooler than mine," Zoro continued, "so I think the dumb one was that boy, don't you agree?"

"Yeah, he was really stupid," Perona said, brightening. "That's why I hit him."

Zoro sighed. "Try to only hit people if they hit you first, okay? Then you can say it's self-defense."

"But he was hitting me with his _words_."

"Then hit him back with words, not with fists."

He stood and they continued on their way home.

* * *

Zoro, Kuina, and Perona headed out of the grocery store, having just finished their weekly grocery shopping.

"Hey!"

They turned and saw someone approaching them. He was about Zoro's height, with frosted tips and a leather jacket.

He pointed to Perona. "Is this the brat who punched my little brother the other day?"

Perona shrank back and hid behind Kuina.

"Don't call her a brat," Zoro said sternly. "But yes, she hit a boy at school. We already talked to her about—"

He was suddenly struck in the face. Perona cried out and Kuina almost dropped her bags.

Zoro slowly looked back at Frosted Tips, who had his fists cocked and sneered, "Doesn't feel right to hit a little kid. You're her brother or something, so you'll have to do."

"Kuina, Perona, you two get home," Zoro said abruptly. He handed off his bags to Kuina. "Sorry. I'll be home soon."

"But—Zo, you told me not to hit people," Perona said nervously. "Are you gonna hit him?"

"He hit me first," Zoro pointed out. He winked. "I'm defending myself. Go home, be safe."

Perona nodded.

"I swear, if we get a call from the police . . ." Kuina said threateningly even as she shepherded Perona away. "Zoro, for Pete's sake, be careful!"

"Yeah," he said.

He and Frosted Tips waited until the girls were out of sight before turning back to each other. Zoro ducked away from another unannounced blow.

"Let's take this behind the store," he said menacingly.

* * *

"Had enough yet?"

Frosted Tips was on the ground, his nose bloody and bruises forming all over his face. He spat some blood onto the ground and hissed, "Bastard . . ."

"You asked for it," Zoro said coolly. "Hope I don't see you around. Stay the fuck away from my family."

He strode away, leaving his challenger where he lay.

* * *

Kuina and Perona rushed to Zoro the second he stepped in the doorway.

"I'm fine," he said quickly. "Don't worry."

Kuina frowned. "Then why'd you take so long to get home . . . ? Oh, you got lost."

Zoro scowled. "I did not."

Perona tapped him. "Zo . . . ?"

He looked down and was startled to see that Perona looked ready to cry. "Hey, what's up?"

"That guy hit you . . . 'cause I punched that boy . . ." she whispered. "So it's my fault . . ."

"Hey, wait, no," he said quickly, kneeling down. "Don't cry, it's not your fault. It's not your fault at all."

"But . . ."

"You didn't ask him to hit me, right?" he continued. "That guy was being stupid, that's all."

"Okay," she said quietly.

He hugged her. "It's okay, Pear-bear. I'm not even hurt, and I taught that guy a lesson, so he won't be coming back."

She pulled away. "Okay."

"Okay," he echoed. He straightened up. "Let's all take care of our homework, yeah?"

Kuina and Perona groaned.

"Can't we do it tomorrow?" Perona whined.

"I only have a little bit," Kuina added.

"Finish it today and have more time to play tomorrow," Zoro pointed out. "And Kuina, come on, you can finish your work in ten minutes."

"Fine, but you have to do your work, too," she muttered.

"Well, yeah . . ."

* * *

Late that night, the household was awoken by a loud knock from the front door. Everyone came to the hall.

"I'll get it," Zoro muttered. "You two stay in bed, okay?"

They nodded and retreated to their rooms, and though both lay back on their beds, neither closed their eyes.

Zoro reached for the handle at another banging knock and cautiously opened the door. He came face-to-face with two tough-looking individuals, a woman to his left and a man to his right.

"Hey," he said. "I think you might have the wrong house."

"Green hair, huh?" the woman muttered. "Must be the right guy."

"How many people around here can there be with green hair?" the man agreed.

"I'm sorry, can I help you?" Zoro said sarcastically.

"Yeah," the woman said, suddenly grabbing his shirt and pulling him forward. She pressed a handkerchief to his face. "Be a dear and tell me if this smells like chloroform."

* * *

Zoro awoke groggily and shook his head, clearing his mind and vision. He found himself lying on the floor of what seemed to be someone's basement, and he was surrounded by thugs, all in leather jackets, including the man and woman who had come to his house, and—

"That's him, alright," Frosted Tips said, pointing at Zoro shakily. "He's the one who beat me up!"

Zoro pushed himself up and stood. "The fuck, man, you're the one who came at me looking for a fight!" he snarled. "The hell is up with this? You kidnappers or something? Let me tell you right now, we have _no_ money—"

"Yeah, like we couldn't have guessed that from your looks," a woman from the group exclaimed. The others chuckled.

"Let me tell you something," came a voice, and the others fell silent. A pale, skinny man stepped forward. Though he did not by any means look the strongest of the group, he was clearly the leader of the gang. Zoro tensed and glared.

"I don't forgive those who hurt my followers," the skinny man continued. "Methinks some punishment is in order."

"If you're looking for a fight, then I'll have to request a ride home after I win," Zoro said.

"Not a fight," the skinny man corrected. He licked his dry lips. "Haven't had a drink in three days . . . I'm awfully thirsty, you see."

"I'm sure you can find a drinking fountain around here somewhere."

"Oh, yes," the skinny man agreed. "Right in front of me. Hold still."

Zoro froze. He struggled to move as the skinny man approached him.

"The hell kind of trick is this?" he hissed.

"Keep that mouth shut," the skinny man ordered, and Zoro fell silent, eyeing his enemy nervously.

The skinny man seized Zoro and suddenly bit sharply into his neck. Zoro gasped and tried to get the man off of him to no avail.

It wasn't long before he started feeling woozy. The effort of both keeping himself standing and keeping his eyes open was too much, and the world went black around him . . .

* * *

The skinny man finally pulled away from Zoro, leaving the pale, limp body to crash to the floor. He wiped his lips.

"Won't need a drink for another couple days," he muttered.

Frosted Tips stared at Zoro's body. "I . . . I didn't think . . . you'd kill him . . ."

The gang leader glared at him. "What's it matter? We're blowing this popsicle stand in an hour anyway. Come morning, we'll be in the next state over, with no one the wiser."

Frosted Tips quietly nodded, tearing his eyes away.

The gang leader pointed to one of the women. "Hey, get rid of the body, will you?"

"Whaddya expect me to do with it?" she demanded. "Bring it to the curb for trash day?"

"Dump it in the woods or something," the gang leader said carelessly. "Just get it out of sight and get back here ey-sap."

"Aye, sir," she said sarcastically. He rolled his eyes and left the room, the gang following. Only Frosted Tips lingered.

The woman glanced at him. "You need something?"

"Well . . ."

"What, you still worried 'bout running away from home?"

"I'm thinkin' about just bringing my little bro with us," he mumbled.

She raised an eyebrow. "His funeral. Get out of here, 'less you're plannin' on helpin' me with this lug."

Frosted Tips hurried out. The woman looked at Zoro's body and frowned.

"Alright, let's see," she muttered. She scooped him up and tossed him over her shoulder like a sack of flour. Despite his weight, it seemed no chore for her to carry him, and she got him up a flight of stairs before heading out and down a shadowed street.

* * *

"There . . ."

The woman dropped Zoro's body next to a tree. They were just outside of the playground near his house.

She began to walk away when she stopped. She glanced back at him.

"Sister . . ."

She slowly walked back to him and knelt.

"You had a sister, or something . . . right?"

He didn't move. The woman seemed to struggle for a moment.

"Oh, fuck it," she muttered. She grabbed a pocketknife from exactly where you'd expect, flicked open the blade, and sliced open her palm. Blood dribbled out. She forced Zoro's mouth open and let the blood drip inside.

Whenever the flow slowed, she squeezed her wrist, or sliced a new gash into her palm, wincing.

"Live, you idiot," she hissed.

Several minutes passed before Zoro suddenly opened his eyes. The woman quickly withdrew her hand, sucking on the wounds to stop the blood.

"The hell . . . ?" Zoro mumbled. He blinked and smacked his lips. "What hap—"

He finally saw the woman.

"Hey, you were with those assholes," he snarled, standing. "What the fuck did that guy do?"

"Don't talk to me like that, you jackass, I just saved your life!" the woman snapped, ripping off part of her sleeve to make a bandage for her hand.

"Your leader's a _vampire_?"

"Yeah, and now you are, too," the woman said carelessly. "Listen, I have to get back soon, otherwise they'll get suspicious."

"Wait, excuse me, I want an explanation here!" Zoro exclaimed. "First off, vampires are _real_? Also, what do you mean I'm one now?"

"He killed you, stupid," the woman snapped. "He drained your blood. You were just a corpse until a minute ago. Stupid me took pity on you and brought you back. You're a vampire now, so you'd better learn to goddamn deal with it, unless you want to die for good."

Zoro stared at her, slowly processing her words.

"He killed me?"

"How slow can you be, dumbass?! You do you, and I'll do me. Get back to your family or whatever and I'll get back to mine." She stood and backed away. "And . . . I'll see you later."

She promptly bolted before Zoro could even call after her.

"Crazy assholes, all of them," he muttered, standing slowly. "Freak of a gang leader they got . . ."

He looked around and realized where he was.

"Damn it, they must be worried sick," he exclaimed. He gathered himself and ran down the street.

* * *

Zoro came through the front door to find Kuina and Perona in the living room. Perona was asleep on the couch and Kuina was pacing around. When she saw him, she immediately went to him and hit him over the head.

"Where the hell did you go?" she exclaimed angrily as Zoro shut the door behind him. Zoro rubbed his head.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I can explain . . . sort of."

Kuina looked him over and her eyes widened. "Oh, god, is that _blood_?"

Zoro checked his shirt. "Yeah . . . long story."

"Are you okay? You didn't get into another fight, did you?"

"No—well, actually—listen, it's a weird story, but let me explain." He glanced at Perona. "In my room . . . she probably shouldn't hear this."

* * *

"So . . . some vampire wannabe freak sucked out your blood, you woke up with some lady near the playground, she told you you died and became a vampire, and then she ran away," Kuina said.

"Yes, that's what I just finished telling you," Zoro muttered. "I'm sorry, it was stupid of me to get kidnapped in the first place . . ."

"I'm just glad you're okay," Kuina said quietly. "If you really had died . . ."

Zoro shook his head. "It can't be real, but . . . I hope I'm not really . . ."

"A vampire? Nah," Kuina said. "You look pretty pale, but you must just be exhausted."

Zoro nodded, then hesitated. "Actually . . . I don't feel tired."

There was a moment of silence.

"Well, I'll put Perona to bed, and I guess . . . I'll just stay up and read until I get tired," Zoro said awkwardly. "You get to bed, too. Sorry for making you stay up late . . ."

"Yeah," Kuina agreed. "Zoro, I . . ."

"It must've been scary, me just vanishing like that," Zoro muttered. "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," Kuina said quietly. She stood. "I'll get back to my room . . ."

"Oh, Perona's up," Zoro said quietly.

Kuina frowned. "Hm?"

"I heard her just now," Zoro said. "She sat up and whispered your name just now . . ."

He trailed off and frowned.

"How did you hear her from here?" Kuina said slowly.

Zoro shook his head. "I don't know . . ." he raised his voice. "We're in here!"

A moment later Perona came running in, holding her teddy bear, and she jumped on Zoro in a hug.

"Where'd you go?" she demanded into his shirt.

"There were some jerks at the door," Zoro said quickly. "I didn't want to talk to them in our house, so we went a little ways away. I'm sorry I forgot to tell you before I left."

Kuina eyed him and Zoro shrugged. "What do you want me to say?" he whispered.

"What?"

"Nothing," Zoro said to Perona. He picked her up and stood. "You need to go to bed, Pear-bear."

"Okay," she said sleepily.

* * *

Zoro had stayed up the whole night reading and felt exhausted by the time dawn broke. He shuffled to his bedroom, squinted in annoyance at the faint brightness outside, closed the blinds, and fell onto his bed.

"Hey . . ."

Around afternoon, Perona came into his room to find him still sleeping.

"It's lunchtime," she announced, shaking him.

Zoro grumbled something and opened his eyes a crack. "Go 'way," he mumbled.

"But you gotta eat," she insisted. "Kuina told me to come get you."

"Not hungry," he mumbled. "Tired. Leave me 'lone . . ."

Perona frowned and left his room. A minute later Kuina entered and shook Zoro aggressively until he sat up.

"What?" he snapped.

"It's lunchtime, stupid," she said firmly. "You sick or something?"

"Not sick," he mumbled, squinting. "Just tired."

She frowned. "At least come have some crackers or something."

He slowly swung his legs around and stood—after all, there was no arguing with Kuina. He sleepily followed her to the kitchen, where Perona was already eating a cheese sandwich.

"Hi," she said cheerfully. Zoro mumbled something and sat at the table, resting his head in his hand.

"Th' light's bright," he muttered.

Kuina glanced at the light streaming in from the window above the sink and closed the blinds. "Better?"

"Yeah."

Zoro was presented with some crackers on a small plate. He stared at them and slowly lifted one to his mouth, but the second he took a bite, he coughed and spat it out into a napkin.

"What's wrong?" Kuina asked in surprise. Perona stared at him curiously.

"Tastes terrible," Zoro muttered. "Are these things expired?"

"We bought them yesterday," Kuina pointed out. "Do crackers even expire?"

"Are you sick?" Perona asked.

Zoro shrugged. "Dunno . . . I'm thirsty."

Kuina brought him a small glass of water. He thanked her and quickly drank it down.

"Hm . . . no," he muttered. "Still thirsty . . . weird, I feel like water's not . . ."

He trailed off. Kuina eyed him.

"Remember what we talked about last night?" she said slowly.

Zoro nodded, then sighed. "You can't really think that . . ."

"Get to the bathroom," she ordered.

He curiously followed her to the bathroom, Perona behind them. Kuina turned on the light and Zoro covered his eyes in irritation.

"What, you gonna give me medicine or something?" he said, blinking as his eyes adjusted to the light.

Kuina shook her head slowly and stared at something in front of Zoro. "I think . . . that . . . pretty much confirms it," she said slowly.

Zoro glanced around and spotted the mirror. For a moment he wasn't sure what was wrong—after all, there was Kuina, Perona's head, and the doorway reflected just as they were.

"Wait," he muttered.

He lifted a hand and waved it in front of the mirror. He tried making faces.

None of this was reflected back. Not his gestures, not Zoro himself, not even his clothes.

"You're not in the mirror!" Perona exclaimed. "Are you a vampire?!"

Zoro hung his head and stared at the counter. "I . . . think so," he said slowly.

"That's so _cool_!" Perona cried happily. "Lift me up!"

He glanced at her and picked her up, holding her in front of the mirror.

"I'm floating," she declared. Zoro set her down again.

"So whatever happened last night was real," Kuina muttered. "This is . . ."

"That explains why I'm thirsty," Zoro mumbled. "And I probably shouldn't go out in the sun . . ."

"If you're thirsty, you can drink my blood," Perona offered.

"Wow, you and Luffy would get along really well," Zoro remarked, not for the first time. "Perona, I'm not going to drink your blood. You're too young, it's probably not good for you."

Perona frowned.

"How about this," Kuina said abruptly. "Zoro, you go sleep, you're probably nocturnal or something. We can talk about this after sunset."

"Alright," Zoro agreed, all for putting off the discussion. "You guys finish your lunch . . . I'll just be in my room . . ."

He shuffled out of the bathroom.

Perona frowned, suddenly realizing something. "How'd Zo become a vampire? Did he get bitten?"

Kuina sighed. "We'll tell you when you're older," she promised.

"Why?"

"Same reason we don't let you watch PG-13 movies."

* * *

"Okay, so," Zoro said, sitting in the living room with his sisters. "My heart's dead, I'm not breathing, no pulse . . ."

Perona climbed next to him and pressed her ear to his chest. "You're right!" she exclaimed in delight. "It's not beating!"

"Get off me," he muttered good-naturedly. He ran a hand through his hair and swallowed. "And, uh . . . I'm really thirsty."

Kuina made a face. "This is . . . really weird, y'know. Until yesterday, I didn't even think vampires were real . . ."

"Oh, I always knew they were real," Perona announced. "And this means werewolves are real, too."

"How does that follow?" Zoro said. "Never mind . . ."

"Drinking blood might be a problem," Kuina murmured. "You probably don't have to kill someone, right? You can just take little amounts from several people . . ."

Zoro nodded slowly. "Makes sense, yeah . . . it'd be problematic if they remembered my face, though. This hair is . . ."

"Awesome."

Zoro raised an eyebrow at Perona. "Now is not the time."

"I bet you could wipe memories somehow," Kuina suggested. "Hypnosis, or something . . ."

"Yeah, maybe," Zoro agreed.

Kuina hesitated. "You wanna practice on me?"

"What?"

"It'd be really awkward to practice on a stranger," she pointed out, shifting in her seat. "And you said you're thirsty . . ."

"But . . . I don't want to hurt you," he protested weakly.

She gave him a look.

"Okay, fine."

He thought back to what the gang leader had done, looked at Kuina, and ordered, "Hold still."

Kuina froze. Perona looked between them curiously.

"Okay . . . I can't move," Kuina said slowly.

Zoro hesitated, keeping his eyes on her, but his thirst won over and he slowly approached her.

"Uh . . . I could do it from the neck, or . . . an arm . . ." he said awkwardly.

"Do it from the neck, that's how it's supposed to go," Perona insisted, watching with excitement.

Zoro and Kuina looked at her.

"Perona, no offense, but can you keep quiet for just a little bit?" Kuina said. "This is really weird for both of us, and having someone talking in the background isn't helping."

"Oh, okay," Perona mumbled. She climbed onto a chair and sat quietly.

Zoro glanced back at Kuina. "Oh, hey, you moved," he said dumbly.

She looked at herself. "Yeah. Maybe you have to keep looking at me or something. Anyway, I dunno . . ." she side-eyed Perona. "Just do the neck if it'll make her happy."

"Alright," Zoro muttered. "Let me know right away if you think I'm taking too much. I dunno how long it should be."

"Yeah," Kuina agreed. She tilted her head to the side.

Zoro slowly leaned in and opened his mouth hesitantly. He felt his new fangs slide out, to his shock, but ignored it for favor of quickly biting into his sister's neck. She gasped, then quickly hissed, "I'm fine, just do it."

He began drinking her blood.

It wasn't too long before she started tapping his shoulder. He quickly withdrew and watched as the wounds closed.

"Are you okay?" he demanded, wiping his lips.

"Mm, yeah," she said, feeling her neck and wincing. "Tad sore, but that'll be gone by morning."

"That was _so_ cool!" Perona burst out, unable to keep quiet any longer. "What does blood taste like?"

"It was really good," Zoro admitted.

"If you do have some kind of way to wipe memories, we can figure that out later," Kuina said, standing slowly. "Perona, we should go to bed."

Perona frowned. "Already?"

"Yes, already."

"Get to bed," Zoro said sternly. "I'll hang out in here."

"Don't leave the house, okay?" Kuina said, a shadow of worry passing across her face.

"Yeah, I'll stay here. I promise."

His sisters hugged him goodnight and headed off to bed.


	93. Modern-Day: Werewolf Luffy 1

**I've been meaning to tell you guys - if you'd like to get an idea of what colorblindness is like for the werewolves, there's a simulator online called Coblis (googling the name should bring you to the site easily). Select an image from your computer (it has to be less than 600KB), upload it, and select "green-blind/deuteranopia" to see what the image looks like through the eyes of a dog (or werewolf). Zoro's hair is interesting.**

**Non-humans: WW Luffy**

**Modern AU**

* * *

It was their last day of the week-long vacation; the end of June was in sight. Garp was going to leave again in July and had decided to take his grandsons on a small trip to an island before he had to go. Of course, none of those three could swim (despite their grandfather's encouragement by way of throwing them into the deep water), so the most they did on the beach was lounge around or build sandcastles.

On the night before they left, Garp abruptly woke all three of them up around moonrise, dragging them out of bed to one of the couches in their hotel room.

"What's up, grampa?" Luffy mumbled, blinking sleepily. "Are we leaving early?"

"You need to give us some warning first, old man," Ace muttered.

Garp grinned and turned on the lamp, making the others grumble and shield their eyes. "We're going on a night hike!"

"Why?" Sabo asked.

"Haven't any of you been on a night hike before?" Garp demanded. "It's so exhilarating! Just you and a bit of company, no one else around but the wild animals, all under the cold, crisp air of the night! If we get to an open area, we can even stargaze!"

"Right, see . . ." Ace scratched his head. "The 'wild animals' part kind of bothers me."

"Ah, nonsense, nothing out there's dangerous," Garp said carelessly. "All them critters just scamper away from humans!"

"We don't have a choice, do we?" Luffy mumbled.

"You don't get a choice when it comes to spending time with Grandpa!" Garp exclaimed.

* * *

Garp had led them to a trail in the woods by means of hopping over a locked gate which clearly stated the park was closed. He'd dismissed Sabo's tentative gesturing to the signs with, "No one'll catch us."

"Old man, you're part of the Navy," Ace muttered as they trudged along. "Shouldn't you be setting some kinda example for upholding the law?"

Garp shrugged. "Some laws are okay to break. Like this one."

Luffy shivered. Sabo placed his coat around his little brother's shoulders and Luffy gratefully clutched it to him.

"You mean laws are okay to break when it's convenient for _you_," Ace muttered, clearly still annoyed at having his sleep disturbed.

Garp shrugged and was about to respond when the family heard a rustling from the bushes. They paused and glanced over cautiously.

"Ah, don't worry," Garp muttered. "Nothing out here would hurt us."

A wolf with glowing blue eyes and black fur stepped out. It adopted an aggressive stance and snarled.

Garp frowned and shifted in front of his grandsons. "That's weird, huh . . . wolves usually leave humans alone . . ."

The wolf suddenly sprang and all four yelled in shock. Garp promptly punched the wolf in its side, momentarily stunning it so it fell to the ground.

"Okay, boys," Garp said calmly, backing up a bit and forcing his grandsons to back up, too. Ace and Sabo were shielding Luffy, though he peered around them curiously. "Here's what we're going to do. Count of three, we run."

"Good plan," Sabo agreed quietly.

The wolf began to struggle to its feet.

"Three . . ."

The wolf suddenly sprang up and snarled, preparing to attack again.

"—Two-one-NOW!" Garp yelled, and everyone turned and ran like the wind, the wolf in hot pursuit.

But as they dashed through the trees, Luffy's foot caught on a root—his family realized, but it was too late, the wolf pounced on Luffy and bit into his leg—

"GET AWAY FROM HIM, BEAST!" Garp roared, darting back and booting the wolf in the side. It sailed through the trees with a yelp, vanishing from sight, presumably unconscious now.

"Damn it—hey, Luffy!" Garp exclaimed, kneeling by him with Ace and Sabo.

"I'm okay," Luffy whispered. "I . . ."

He passed out.

"Shit—he'll be okay, right?" Sabo said weakly.

"He's going to live, don't worry," Garp said. "We could fix this up ourselves, but . . . a wolf attacking a human like that, might've had rabies or something. Hospital's our best option here."

"You think I should bandage it?" Ace said quickly. He gestured to his shirt. "We can use this . . ."

Sabo frowned. "Ace, not _here_ . . . you wanna walk into the hospital without a shirt?"

Ace hesitated and Sabo sighed. "Just use my jacket," he said abruptly.

In the time they'd been talking, Garp had used Sabo's jacket to tie up Luffy's leg.

"Did you say something?" he asked.

Luffy made a small noise and the three immediately went quiet. He lifted his head slowly.

"Uh . . . ?" he mumbled, right before he vomited onto the ground.

"Hey, Lu, you okay?" Ace said softly, rubbing his back.

Luffy winced. "My leg . . ."

"You're gonna be fine," Sabo said as Garp picked him up. "We're gonna go to a hospital and get your leg checked out."

Luffy nodded, looking very small in Garp's arms.

* * *

They had gone home a couple days later than intended due to Luffy's injury. The doctors had declared he would heal soon without strain or poking and prodding at the wound, and there was no evidence of any disease transfer.

One day in July, not too long after Garp had had to go again and the wound had turned into shiny scars, Luffy woke up with a fever.

He struggled down the hall for breakfast, but when Ace and Sabo saw him, they frowned.

"Hey, Lu, you feeling okay?" Ace said, coming over to check on him.

Luffy shrugged. Ace felt his forehead.

"Hot . . . go back to bed," he ordered. "We'll get you some water or something."

"Okay," Luffy mumbled, in no condition to protest. He shuffled back to his room and promptly fell back into bed.

* * *

"Gonna check on him before bed," Ace said quietly to Sabo as he finished brushing his teeth. Sabo nodded, his mouth still full of fluoride.

Ace quietly went to Luffy's room, knocking and pushing open the door. He knelt by Luffy's bed and found Luffy trembling where he lay.

"Hey, Lu, how're you doing?" he whispered, feeling his forehead. It was hotter than before . . .

Luffy slowly sat up, pushing his hair out of his eyes. "Hurts . . ."

He was still in boxers, and Ace could see the sheen of sweat on his body.

"I'll see if we have any medicine," Ace said, standing slowly, but just then Luffy cried out and clutched his arms, curling in on himself.

"Oh, shit—Luffy, you okay?" Ace demanded.

His eyes widened when black fur began sprouting all over Luffy's body.

"What . . . ?"

He backed up a step when Luffy's head began to lengthen, and his hands curled into clawed paws—

And Ace found himself facing a black wolf, lying on Luffy's bed. The yellow eyes slowly opened . . .

"Luffy?" Ace whispered.

Luffy looked up at him and growled. A moment of struggling and he was off the bed, staring at Ace aggressively.

He sprang and Ace dodged—Luffy hit his head on the wall and shook it, dazed—Ace took the opportunity to flee the room, slamming the door shut.

There was a bang and an impatient snarl from the other side as Ace held the door firmly closed.

"The hell is going on?" Sabo said, coming down the hall at last.

Ace looked at him nervously. "Uh . . . I don't suppose you have the moon phase calendar memorized?"

Sabo frowned. "Well, no, but I think tonight's the full moon. Why?"

Ace swore under his breath. There was another bang from Luffy's room.

"What's up with him?" Sabo asked. "Luffy, you okay in there?"

A louder snarl made him jump and he looked back at Ace for an explanation.

Ace bit his lip. "Remember last month when that wolf attacked us?"

"Yeah?"

Silence, except for the scratching at the door.

"Oh, come on," Sabo muttered skeptically. "You're bluffing. This is some prank, isn't it?"

He pushed Ace aside and promptly opened the door. "Luffy, stop kidding around—"

And he yelled in shock when Luffy sprang at him, snarling. Luffy knocked him to the ground—Ace thought fast and kicked Luffy hard in the side, shoving him away from Sabo.

"I'm sorry, Lu!" he yelled. "Sabo, RUN!"

He yanked Sabo up from the ground and they made a break for the bathroom, Luffy pursuing just a second later. They piled inside and slammed the door shut together, locking it quickly. A bang was heard outside, then a snarl, then a whine of frustration.

Ace gave Sabo a pointed look.

"Okay," Sabo said slowly. "I believe you."

"You'd better," Ace muttered. He slid to the floor, his T-shirt rumpling slightly as it moved against the wall. "Shit, shit, god damn it . . ."

"So that wolf in the woods was . . ." Sabo said slowly.

Ace clenched his fists. "Yeah. And . . . since Luffy got bit . . ."

They heard another faint whine from outside.

Sabo slowly sat next to Ace.

"I watched him transform," Ace said. "It looked so painful . . ."

"He's gotta go back to normal in the morning," Sabo said slowly. "I hope he doesn't . . . remember this."

Ace nodded. "Poor kid . . ."

Another moment of silence, broken only by the snort outside the door.

"We should probably sleep in here tonight, yeah?" Sabo murmured. "We can take shifts watching the door . . . or something."

Ace nodded. "Yeah. I'll go first . . . I'll wake you in a couple hours."

Sabo lay on his side, but he did not close his eyes for a long time.

* * *

Luffy woke up face-down in the hall, just outside his bedroom. He sat up, wincing, and glanced down, vaguely wondering where his boxers had gone.

He gasped and held his head as a migraine-like pain struck with the memories pouring in from last night. When the pain faded, he was close to tears.

He stood up, using the wall for support, and looked around. First thing he noticed was that the colors of everything were, somehow, wrong—maybe this was just a side-effect of being exhausted, he thought dismissively. The next thing he noticed was the fluffy black tail between his legs. He stared at it stupidly before shuffling into his bedroom.

After he got his boxers on, his tail hanging out over them, he slowly went down the hall to the bathroom. He found the door locked.

"Ace?" he called hoarsely, knocking. "Sabo?"

Movement from inside, but no one said a word. Luffy's eyes began watering again.

"I . . . I'm not . . . gonna attack you," he said, his voice wobbling. "I—I'm sorry . . ."

There was a _click_ and the door swung open, revealing Ace and Sabo. Both had shadows under their eyes, but the concern was more obvious.

"Luffy," Ace said, relief evident in his tone. "You're . . . you're back . . ."

"Hey, are you hurt?" Sabo asked, pushing Ace aside. "How do you feel?"

Luffy shook where he stood.

"I tried to hurt you guys," he whispered. "Was trying—to _kill_—"

"No," Ace said. He finally stepped out of the bathroom, pushing Sabo aside, and hugged Luffy tightly. "Luffy, it's okay . . . it's okay. We're fine."

Luffy initially froze at the contact, but soon clutched Ace in return, crying into his shoulder.

Sabo pushed some of Luffy's hair out of the way. "You must be tired," he said gently. "You wanna go to bed?"

"Okay," Luffy whispered. Ace pulled back and checked him over.

"Hey, really, you're not hurt, right?" he said. "I'm sorry about kicking you . . ."

"No, it's okay," Luffy said quickly. "I'm . . . I'm not hurt."

"Okay, good," Ace murmured. "Go sleep. We can talk about it at lunch."

Luffy nodded and messily wiped at his face, blinking hard. He turned and shuffled down the hall to his room.

"Dunno about you, but I'm going to catch a few winks, too," Sabo said, yawning. "You?"

"Yeah . . . g'night," Ace muttered as they went down the hall to their bedrooms.

"It's morning."

"Whatever . . ."

* * *

Ace and Sabo were already in the kitchen when Luffy came shuffling in. He'd put on a shirt, though he hadn't bothered with pants, and he sat quietly at the table.

"Hey, you hungry?" Ace said, pushing a sandwich towards him.

Luffy nodded and quickly began eating. When he was halfway done, he set his food down and glanced at his brothers.

"So . . . I'm a werewolf, huh?" he said gloomily.

"Yeah, seems that way," Sabo said slowly.

Luffy blinked hard a few times. "My nose is . . . strong," he said. "I can smell you guys . . . like, I smell _you_ guys."

"Oh," Sabo exclaimed. "Like a dog . . ."

Luffy shrugged and lay his head on the table so he was sideways. "My tail feels weird . . . and everything looks weird, too."

"Looks weird?" Ace asked.

"I think it's, uh . . ." Luffy frowned, trying to remember the word. "Color-blindness . . . ? I thought I was just tired earlier, but . . ."

"Your eyes are yellow, by the way," Sabo said.

"Hm," Luffy mumbled, surprised. "Weird."

He sat up and got back to his sandwich.

* * *

The rest of the summer passed relatively without incident. The three gradually discovered Luffy's new tendencies to avoid baths (they made him shower at least once a week), to become upset when left alone for too long (though he was okay sleeping in his own room), and that he enjoyed meat more than ever, along with gentle ear scratches.

The Grain Moon came and went, and they all decided it was best if Luffy was shut in his room for the night. Some howling could be heard in the darkness, along with annoyed neighbors yelling to Shut That Dog Up, though Luffy was fine the next morning.

September came all too quickly. They had decided that Luffy would have to start wearing jeans instead of his usual shorts so his tail could be tucked out of sight.

Luffy fidgeted as he got ready to go.

"I kinda wanna tell my friends," he burst out at the door. "Can I?"

Ace and Sabo had, earlier, explicitly warned him to keep his lycanthropy under wraps. Now they glanced at each other hesitantly.

"Look, that's up to you," Sabo said at last. "But . . . if you do, at least make sure they won't spread it around."

Luffy nodded, swallowed nervously, and scooped up his backpack, heading out the door with a quick goodbye. He returned only a moment later to grab his lunch from the kitchen counter.

A couple blocks down, he found Usopp already waiting at the bus stop—of course he was there first, the stop was right in front of his house. Usopp turned and grinned, and Luffy jumped on him in a hug.

"Hey, get off!" Usopp exclaimed. Luffy quickly backed off and adjusted his jeans to cover up his wagging tail.

"Hey, how was vacation?" Luffy asked cheerfully, falling back into a normal pattern. Usopp had been gone all August on a road trip.

"It was nice," Usopp said, grinning. "The hotels were pretty decent, and one even had a pool! How'd your summer go?"

Luffy hesitated, the smile almost slipping, but it stayed on. "I don't wanna go back to school," he said, dodging the question.

"Yeah," Usopp said, not noticing the deflection. He glanced at Luffy and lifted his eyebrows. "Hey, since when . . . your eyes weren't always yellow, right?"

Luffy hesitated. "They're color contacts," he said, turning away so Usopp wouldn't see his face and pretending to adjust the so-called contacts as he did so. "Aren't they cool?"

"They're kinda freaky," Usopp said. "But whatever works for you . . ."

Luffy turned back, his smile still on, though now it seemed more like a grimace.

The bus rolled up and they boarded, sitting across from a blond guy a little older than them. The three all introduced themselves and were quickly friendly, deciding by the time they got to school that they'd all have lunch together.

* * *

Luffy and all his friends met up for lunch, as usual. During the typical How-Was-Your-Summer line of questions, Luffy was frowning at Zoro's hair.

"Something on my head?" Zoro said, noticing Luffy's look. He felt his hair.

"Oh, no," Luffy said quickly. "I just, um . . ." he cleared his throat. "Did you dye your hair?"

Zoro rolled his eyes. "How many times do I have to tell you this is my natural color?"

Luffy nodded quickly. "Okay. Got it." He now spotted Nami's hair and was soon frowning again.

"What now?" she muttered.

He hesitated. "Well . . . nothing."

"Hey, so . . ." Chopper said. "Are you wearing color contacts?"

"Yeah, he is," Usopp said before Luffy could say anything—a lucky thing, for Luffy's face surely would have given away his lie this time.

"Oh, they're really cool," Chopper exclaimed, grinning.

Luffy grinned brightly at this. "You think so?"

"Okay, but why the contacts?" Zoro asked.

Luffy hesitated. "Because . . ."

"Because?"

"Just because . . ."

Zoro rolled his eyes.

Luffy hesitated, then decided to ask.

"What do you guys think of werewolves?" he said brightly.

Usopp made a sound that was almost a whimper. "Scary monsters . . ."

"I mean, they're not real," Sanji said, shrugging. "But if they were . . . I wouldn't like to meet one face-to-face."

Luffy hesitated again. "What would you do . . . if you _did_ meet one face-to-face?"

"Kick its face in and make a break for it, probably," Sanji said.

"Scream and run like the wind," Usopp said promptly, shivering.

"Same here," Nami said.

"Yeah, me too," Chopper agreed. "If I couldn't talk it out . . ."

"I'd probably run, too, but I'd get a good kick or punch in beforehand," Zoro admitted. "Better safe than sorry when facing a bloodthirsty beast. Why'd you ask, Luffy?"

Luffy quickly started stuffing his face with his lunch to hide his expression; all the same, he kept his eyes turned down. "The full moon was about a week ago," he mumbled around his food, speaking very quickly, "so . . ."

"Oh," Zoro said, though he looked at Luffy curiously a moment longer along with the others.

* * *

The first few weeks of school passed by with little incident. Luffy missed his brothers when he was there, but the company of others helped somewhat. Halfway through September, Ace and Sabo had to start going back to community college and wouldn't return home until four, so Luffy started hanging out at Usopp's until then. Usopp was confused, but accepted this arrangement with a shrug.

The day before the Corn Moon, Luffy was at lunch with his friends when he announced he wouldn't be there the next day. Naturally he was met with questions.

"Grampa's coming back, but just for a day," he said quickly, looking away and pretending to watch some birds out the window behind him. "So, uh, me and Ace and Sabo are gonna spend the day in town with him."

"Good for you," Nami said. Everyone looked at him curiously as he turned back around, having made his expression neutral.

A moment passed before Sanji said casually, "We'll miss you tomorrow. It's too bad you'll be on vacation."

Luffy nodded, barely looking at him.

Zoro cleared his throat. "So, it's just you and your bros, right? Where're you three going?"

"Dunno yet," Luffy mumbled, looking away.

It was a moment before he realized what had been said and he gave both Zoro and Sanji nervous, guilty looks. But neither commented on his lie; instead, they got the table back into normal conversation, as if Luffy hadn't said anything odd at all.

* * *

The following day in the afternoon, Usopp looked at Sanji curiously as they got off at the same stop.

"You're gonna check on Luffy, right?" Sanji asked. At Usopp's nod, Sanji sighed. "I want to, too. I'm coming."

"Alright," Usopp said. "We, uh . . . should probably wait until his brothers get back. Wanna hang at my place until then?"

* * *

At half past four, Usopp and Sanji thanked Usopp's mother for the snacks and went down the street. They reached Luffy's house and Usopp rang the doorbell nervously.

Sabo opened the door. "Hey, Usopp," he said. He glanced at Sanji, who quickly introduced himself as one of Luffy's friends.

"We're kinda . . . wondering if Luffy's okay, or if he's even here," Usopp said, tripping over his words.

Sabo pursed his lips. "Luffy's ill," he said at last. "Now's not a good time. He should be better by tomorrow."

"The thing is, he lied to us," Sanji said abruptly. "Said something about being away with his grandpa. How'd he know he would be too sick today to go to school, and why did he lie about it?"

Sabo shut the door in their faces. They heard the click of a lock.

He looked up and saw Ace, who had been watching from the top of the stairs. Ace raised an eyebrow.

"I panicked, okay?" Sabo muttered.

"Well, now they'll be more suspicious than ever," Ace pointed out. He sighed. "But Luffy said he didn't tell them after all . . ."

"He never did say why," Sabo remarked. "How is he, by the way?"

"Usual," Ace murmured. "I got him a bit of water."

Outside, Usopp and Sanji stared at the door.

"I say we sneak in when they're asleep and see what's really going on," Sanji suggested.

Usopp looked at him.

"What? Too risky?"

"Nah, I'm up for that," Usopp said. "But . . . just to make sure he's okay. Then we leave ASAP."

"Yeah, of course," Sanji said.

They headed down the street.

"I'll walk back home," Sanji said, "and we can meet here . . . around ten?"

"Yeah, okay," Usopp agreed, a bit nervous at the thought of sneaking around like this.

* * *

"Hey, Luffy," Ace said as the sun started to set. Luffy blinked sleepily and looked at him.

"I'm really sorry, but Sabo and I have a thing to go to for school," he whispered. "We're gonna be back a little before midnight. Will you be okay?"

Luffy nodded. "See you tomorrow," he mumbled, re-covering himself with his comforter.

Ace brushed away some sweaty hair. "Be safe," he said gently before leaving, making sure to close Luffy's door as tightly as possible as he stepped out into the hall.

* * *

On the bus, Ace and Sabo sat quietly with folded arms. Then Sabo groaned.

"I forgot to lock the front door," he muttered.

Ace rolled his eyes. "I'm sure it's fine. Luffy's in his room, and it's not like there's anything worth stealing. We'll be back in a couple hours at any rate."

Sabo sighed. "Yeah, I guess so . . ."

* * *

"Okay, you ready?" Sanji muttered as Usopp met him in front of his house, shivering.

"Yeah," Usopp said quietly. "I tried calling earlier to talk to Luffy, but Sabo hung up on me in the middle of what I was saying . . ."

Sanji grunted in response and they went off down the street.

"The old man never notices when I sneak out," he remarked. "The roof below my window's pretty low to the ground, kinda like Luffy's, so I can hop off easy."

Usopp nodded. "Mom's a heavy sleeper. I mean, I hardly ever sneak out, but . . ."

They reached Luffy's house and hesitantly knocked. No response.

Sanji tried the handle and they found it unlocked, to their surprise.

"Okay, good," Sanji said, pushing open the door. "They forgot to lock it . . . I don't have lockpicking experience."

"I think Ace and Sabo are out," Usopp said as they stepped in, closing the door behind them. "I saw them earlier going down the street with their backpacks . . . probably a college thing."

"That's convenient," Sanji remarked. "Where's Luffy's bedroom?"

Usopp gestured and Sanji followed him up the stairs and down the hall. Usopp hesitated, then knocked on the closed door.

"Luffy?"

A pause.

"Usopp . . . ?"

"Luffy, are you okay?" Usopp asked. "Me and Sanji are here, we were worried—"

"Go away," Luffy exclaimed, and they heard the fright and tremble in his voice.

"Luffy, what's wrong?" Sanji demanded against the door.

"Go away!" Luffy exclaimed again. "Get out!"

Usopp impatiently opened the door. "What is going on?"

Luffy was in the middle of taking off his boxers, but he quickly pulled them back on when he saw them. "Go away," he said, trembling all over, sweat visible on his body.

Sanji blinked in surprise. "Is that a tail?"

Luffy's tail was between his legs, and he unsuccessfully tried to cover it with his hands. "No, it's not! Close the door!"

"Luffy, I—okay, I'll ask about the tail later, but what is going on?" Usopp exclaimed. "You look awful!"

Luffy's hands went to his stomach with a small jolt of pain. "Please, guys, close the door," he said frantically, shaking. "It's gonna happen any minute . . . !"

"Why are you trying to keep us out?" Sanji exclaimed frustratedly. "You look like you need a hospital, and we're trying to help!"

Luffy gritted his teeth. "The door isn't to keep you out," he said. "It's to keep _me_ in . . ."

Usopp and Sanji glanced at each other, but before they could say anything else, Luffy cried out and fell to his knees, trembling violently.

"Leave—" he choked out.

His body shifted and changed and black fur sprouted all over—Usopp cried out in surprise and Sanji adopted a defensive stance—

Luffy, now in wolf form, struggled to his feet and spotted Sanji and Usopp. He snarled and leapt, but Sanji shoved Usopp back and slammed the door shut. A bang as Luffy hit his head, a whine of frustration . . .

"He's a werewolf," Usopp whispered, shocked.

"Shit," Sanji muttered, helping Usopp up from where he'd knocked him to the floor. "Well, no wonder he didn't want us to know . . ."

"A werewolf," Usopp repeated, staring at the door as another growl came from behind it. "Oh, my god . . . he must be suffering, that looked so painful . . ."

"Dunno if he'll remember this in the morning, but . . ." Sanji gritted his teeth. "Remember first day, when he asked us about werewolves?"

"Crap," Usopp exclaimed. "Oh, no, but—but Luffy's not like that, he—"

"Think we should talk to him tomorrow?" Sanji suggested.

Usopp nodded slowly. "And the others should know . . ."

They turned and quietly left the house, shutting the door carefully behind them with no sign it had ever been opened.

* * *

**Continued next cohptohap!**

**Fun facts about werewolves/how to distinguish a werewolf from a normal wolf:**

**\- The transformed werewolf will have basically the same anatomy/biology as the gray wolf, other than the differences below.**

**\- The normal adult wolf will come up to hip height on a standing adult human, but the transformed werewolf will be bigger, coming up to waist or even chest height.**

**\- Normal adult wolves will have warm eye colors ranging between yellow and brown, but werewolves will always have yellow eyes, or - and this is very atypical of a normal wolf - blue eyes.**

**\- If one knows the werewolf in their human form, one may recognize them by looking into their eyes (as Luffy did with Zoro in ****_Yellow Eyes and Green Tail _****and in cohp. 23, "Forgive Me 2").**

**\- Transformed werewolves will always be very aggressive to humans unless a lunar eclipse is in progress; unlike a normal wolf, which will either avoid humans or act indifferent (wolf attacks on humans are extremely rare).**

**\- Since the transformed werewolf's fur color will be the same as the hair on their head, many colors may be markedly unusual in a normal wolf. Light brown or gray would not be very odd, but colors like black (which do exist in wolves, just less commonly), blonde, or red/orange would be unusual. There's also the green of Zoro's hair and the blue of Vivi's hair...**

**\- Werewolves may have jewelry, such as Zoro's earrings, though most of the time the werewolf would take off any accessories before transformation.**


	94. Modern-Day: Werewolf Luffy 2

**Continued from last time...!**

**Non-humans: WW Luffy**

**Modern AU**

* * *

When Ace and Sabo came in to check on Luffy the next morning, they found him in bed, his face buried in his blankets.

"Hey, how're you doing?" Sabo asked as they knelt by him.

"They saw," Luffy mumbled. He lifted his head and they saw his face was streaked with tears.

"Who saw?" Ace demanded, suddenly concerned. "Luffy?"

"Usopp and Sanji," Luffy whispered. "They said they were worried, and they came over last night, and I told them to go away but they didn't, and they saw me transform—and now they pro'bly—they—"

He shoved his face back into the blankets. Ace and Sabo glanced at each other.

"I'm so sorry, Lu, we forgot to lock the door," Sabo whispered. "Do you want to stay home today?"

Luffy nodded.

"Okay, we'll call the school," Ace said. "You don't have to go out today."

Luffy nodded again and fell back into bed, facing away from his brothers. Ace and Sabo glanced at each other before quietly leaving him be.

* * *

"A _werewolf_?" Nami exclaimed. "You've got to be joking."

"I wish we were," Usopp said quietly. "But . . . we saw it ourselves . . ."

"Sanji, come on, don't play along with Usopp here," Nami said, turning to him desperately, but he could only grimace and shake his head.

"It's the truth," he said. "Luffy was there, he . . . he had a tail, it was black . . ."

"He kept telling us to get out and go away," Usopp added. "We should've listened . . ."

"Why didn't you?" Zoro asked flatly.

Sanji rolled his eyes. "We weren't about to just leave him there, moss-head, he looked ready for a trip to the hospital. Would _you_ have left him?"

Zoro made a face. "Touché."

"If he is a werewolf . . . that kinda explains some things," Chopper said quietly, looking down in thought. "Like . . . the yellow eyes . . . I guess they aren't contacts. . . . And if he has a tail all the time, that's why he started wearing long pants, to hide it . . ."

Usopp nodded slowly. "Yeah . . ."

"When he was . . . turning . . . it looked like it hurt," Sanji said. "Poor guy . . ."

"So why didn't he tell us?" Nami said slowly, finally accepting it.

Sanji grimaced. "He must think we hate him . . . or something."

"I say we storm his room and have a talk with him," Zoro said. At the looks the others gave him, he quickly said, "A _gentle_ talk."

Usopp nodded. "Only if it's okay with Ace and Sabo, though," he said. He swallowed. "They must be mad that we went there last night . . ."

Sanji made a face. "We're gonna talk with Luffy one way or another. Meet up at Usopp's house at five?"

Usopp gave him a look, but didn't protest, since his house was pretty close to Luffy's. The others agreed quickly.

* * *

Usopp and Sanji waited outside Usopp's house; the sun was slowly starting to set when a car suddenly came screeching around the corner, stopping perfectly in front of Usopp's driveway.

"We're here!" Nami announced, hopping out of the driver's seat after turning off the engine. Zoro and Chopper staggered out of the front and back seat respectively, both looking rather ill.

"Hello, my dear!" Sanji exclaimed happily. "And you two."

"Nami, I swear to god," Zoro groaned, gathering his wits about him.

"No offense, but . . . do you even have a license . . . ?" Chopper asked weakly, straightening himself up slowly.

"What? No," Nami said in a rather matter-of-fact tone. "I used to live in the country, remember? No one was on the roads there, and Bellemère taught me how to drive."

"Did she teach you how not to be a crazy chauffeur?" Zoro muttered, and Sanji promptly yelled at him for calling her crazy.

"Also, why did she let you take the car?" Chopper asked quietly.

"Oh, she didn't," Nami said, again in that casual tone. "I got it out of the garage before she and Nojiko could stop me."

"You're so lovely even when you're breaking the law," Sanji sighed.

Usopp smacked him. "Guys, we're here for Luffy, remember?"

They nodded, quite serious now, and Usopp led them down the street to Luffy's place.

When they got there, Usopp fidgeted and nervously rang the doorbell. Ace answered it this time, and narrowed his eyes at the gang.

"You're all his friends?" he said. They nodded.

Ace stepped out, glaring at each of them in turn with fiery eyes, lingering on Usopp and Sanji a bit longer.

"Do you know how _upset_ he is?" he said angrily. He glared at Usopp and Sanji again.

"Sorry about—uh, trespassing," Sanji said quickly. Usopp nodded.

"We were just worried," he added.

"Yeah, well, your _worry_ is why he hasn't left his room today," Ace said, still not bothering to keep the anger out of his voice. "He didn't want to tell you and it wasn't your business, it isn't _any_ of your goddamn business what he goes through."

"I beg to differ," Zoro said abruptly. "With all due respect, we're his friends—" he glanced at Usopp and Chopper. "—Some of us have been for years—and if he's hurting inside or outside, we're not going to let him be, we'll do whatever we can to help and we will _make_ it our goddamn business."

Ace opened his mouth again, but—

"What's going on?"

Ace glanced behind him to see Sabo coming out. He gestured to the gang in front of him and Sabo nodded slowly, his expression unreadable.

"So you guys want to talk to Luffy?" he said. "Come on in. Take off your shoes . . ."

Ace's indignant sputter went unheard as Luffy's friends quietly came inside, shuffling out of their footwear.

"Don't be like that, Ace, you chewed them out plenty," Sabo said. He nodded to the group, still not smiling. "C'mon."

He led them up the stairs and down the hall. In front of Luffy's door, he stopped suddenly and turned around very slowly.

"Ten minutes," he said softly. "If he still wants you gone at ten minutes . . . you _leave_ and you _don't_ come back."

He smiled now, something dark which sent chills up the spines of everyone in the hall, and they all nodded quickly.

"Glad we could come to an understanding," he said softly. He turned and knocked on the door, calling, "Luffy? Your friends are here."

"Luffy's not here," Luffy called from behind the door.

Sabo knocked gently again. "I'm letting them in now. Ace and I will be in the living room."

He opened the door slowly and went down the hall. One-by-one the group entered Luffy's room—Zoro quietly shut the door behind him. They found a curiously Luffy-shaped lump under the comforter on the bed.

"Luffy," Usopp said quietly.

The lump twitched. "Luffy's not here, he's in Neverland . . ."

Nami rolled her eyes and yanked away the comforter. Luffy flinched at the sight of them—his knees were to his chest, his tail curled up between his legs, and he'd obviously been crying.

After tearing his eyes away from the tail, Chopper knelt next to Luffy and said, "Are you okay . . . ?"

Luffy looked at him in surprise.

"Well, that is," Usopp said, sitting at the end of Luffy's bed, "I mean . . . the whole transforming thing—" Luffy flinched at this and Usopp grimaced. "—It looked painful . . . so, uh . . ."

Luffy hid his face in the T-shirt he'd put on earlier. "I'm fine," he whispered. "Go away."

"No," Zoro said. "Why didn't you tell us?"

". . . You . . ."

"What?" Nami murmured.

"You guys said . . . if you met a werewolf, you'd . . . punch, and kick, and scream and run . . ." Luffy seemed to become smaller with each word. "So you . . . must hate werewolves . . ."

"Wait, no," Chopper exclaimed. "Hey, Luffy, look at us . . ."

Luffy slowly looked up. He was crying again.

"I think we . . . misunderstood," Chopper said hesitantly. "Because . . . I mean, when I think of werewolves, I think of the full-moon transformed ones . . ."

The others nodded.

"Thing is, if you're being attacked by a werewolf," Sanji said slowly, "of course you're going to fight back and/or run away."

Luffy's lip trembled. "I tried attacking you n' Usopp," he mumbled. "Just like Ace n' Sabo . . . the first time . . ."

"It's okay, it's okay," Usopp exclaimed. "We're fine, and, I mean—you obviously weren't yourself and all—we should've left when you said so."

"You're our friend, stupid," Zoro said gently. "It doesn't matter if you get bloodthirsty or whatever once a month, and it doesn't matter if you try to hurt us when you're like that. It's not your fault at all."

"You're probably the sweetest and most caring one here," Nami said gently. "Well, you and Chopper . . . you'd never attack us on purpose."

Chopper grinned encouragingly as Sanji mumbled something about _him_ being sweet and caring, too.

"You guys don't hate me?" Luffy whispered. "You're not scared?"

They shook their heads and Luffy immediately started crying again.

"Don't ever stop being my friends," he said in a wobbly voice.

"That'll happen the day the world ends," Usopp said brightly, messing with Luffy's hair. Luffy finally uncurled himself from his ball-like position, instead sitting cross-legged and smiling nervously.

"So, to clarify . . . the yellow eyes aren't contacts, and you have a tail," Sanji said. Luffy nodded.

"Also, I'm colorblind," he said quietly. He seemed a bit more open now that he knew his friends wouldn't turn against him for this. "I can't see red and green."

"Oh, that's why you were staring at my hair," Zoro exclaimed. "What does it look like . . . ?"

Luffy squinted. "Purple . . . gray . . . kinda."

Sanji snickered. "That's almost as good as green."

"You shut your damn mouth—"

"Nami, your hair looks blonde," Luffy added, slowly regaining brightness in his tone. He glanced at Sanji. "I've been meaning to ask, are you blond?"

Sanji nodded.

"Okay, I don't think you look very different, then," Luffy said in relief.

"How'd it happen?" Chopper asked curiously.

When Luffy got quiet again, Chopper quickly said, "I'm sorry, you don't have to say . . ."

"It's okay," Luffy said quietly. He showed them the scars on his calf. "Me, Ace, Sabo, and Grampa were on vacation in June, and . . . we were out at night, and then a werewolf got me." He sighed. "I tried to . . . attack Ace and Sabo . . . the first time . . . I didn't hurt them, though, 'cause they're smart and tough." He grinned as he always did when praising his brothers.

"Aw, poor thing," Nami said, patting his shoulder.

Luffy grimaced. "Anyway . . . yeah."

A pause.

"Oh, hang on," Usopp said. "Since you started hanging at my place until Ace and Sabo get back . . . do you not like being alone now?"

Luffy nodded.

"Oh, like a puppy," Chopper said in understanding.

Luffy frowned but did not protest.

"What else has changed?" Sanji asked curiously.

"I don't really like baths anymore," Luffy admitted. "Peanut butter's really good . . . and so is meat, but I've always loved meat."

"Right, so you're basically a puppy," Zoro said, nodding.

Luffy frowned again.

A knock came at the door and Sabo poked his head in. "How's everything going?" he asked with a hint of danger in his tone.

"Everything's okay!" Luffy exclaimed quickly as if afraid Sabo might cause permanent damage. He grinned. "Everything's fine!"

Sabo nodded and eyed Luffy's friends. "Alright," he said slowly. "But I want you all out of here in another ten minutes. You _did_ show up unannounced, and _you_ two broke in last night."

"Is it really breaking in if the door's unlocked?" Usopp murmured thoughtfully. Sabo gave him a burning glare and Usopp wisely chose not to press the matter.

"Ten minutes," Sabo repeated. He left.

"You guys can go now, if you want," Luffy said quietly. "I'll see you all at school on Monday, and Usopp, we can hang out this weekend or something . . ."

"Alright, you be safe," Zoro said sternly.

"Zoro, Chopper, I'll be taking you guys back home," Nami said brightly. They groaned in unison.

"See you later," Usopp said, grinning and patting Luffy's head. Sanji did the same before they left—both figured it was safer for them if they got as far away from Luffy's brothers as possible.

Nami, Zoro, and Chopper were about to leave when Chopper hesitated near Luffy's bed.

"What's up?" Luffy asked as Nami and Zoro paused near the door.

Chopper slowly lifted his hand and started scratching Luffy behind the ear. Luffy immediately relaxed and closed his eyes, pressing his head into Chopper's hand.

"Hey, you do like it," Chopper said happily.

"Like I said, he's a puppy," Zoro said. Nami pulled a camera out of her shirt and quietly snapped a photo.

Chopper soon took his hand away and Luffy blinked. "Oh," he said. He waved. "Bye . . ."

The three waved goodbye in turn and left his room.

* * *

**To get their attention when she was picking them up, Nami stopped in front of Chopper's and Zoro's houses respectively and used a loud ooga horn repeatedly until they came out to meet her (the horn that makes the old-fashioned "ah-OOO-guh" sound).**

**Quick question: If I were to establish a First Meeting in this AU with Vampire Sanji and a werewolf, would you guys rather it be Luffy or Zoro? **


	95. Halloween

**HAPPY HALLOWEEN *throws this here and runs* **

**Non-humans: WW Zoro, WW Luffy, Vampire Sanji, Vampire Usopp **

* * *

"Today's Halloween!"

The others glanced around at Luffy, whose tail was wagging happily as he grinned brightly. It was breakfastime; Sanji, yawning, was serving up the food, and everyone else was present but Usopp, who naturally had only just gone to sleep back in the men's quarters.

"Yeah, you're right," Franky said, nodding. "I almost forgot . . ."

"You can't forget about Halloween," Luffy said, frowning.

"If everyone's fine with staying up late, I'll make treats tonight," Sanji said sleepily.

"I want Halloween booze," Zoro said, his tail wagging slightly at the thought.

"There's no such thing."

"Then make it a thing."

Sanji narrowed his eyes. "Challenge accepted, asshole."

"I guess you four won't need costumes, right?" Nami said, gesturing to Sanji, Luffy, and Zoro, and indicating towards the men's room. "And you . . ." she now pointed to Brook.

Brook chuckled. Zoro and Luffy glanced at each other with sly grins, and even Sanji seemed to be hiding a grin of his own.

"Maybe you're right," Zoro said casually, starting on his food at last.

* * *

The day came and went. Sanji and Usopp slept away in the men's room, Sanji only getting up to cook, and the others prepared last-minute costumes from scraps around the ship.

As the moon rose in the sky, Sanji and Usopp finally emerged. Both were wearing fake tails on their backsides and had messed up their hair—or perhaps they just hadn't combed their hair after sleeping.

"Wait, you dressed up as werewolves?" Chopper exclaimed. He was wearing blue cat ears over his normal ones and had a blue cat tail taped to his backside, along with little wings above it.

They grinned.

"It was my idea," Usopp said proudly. "I made the tails and everything!"

"They're really good," Nami remarked, going behind them to examine them. She was dressed in a schoolgirl outfit; the collar and skirt were green, and the tie was red. She carried a quiver of arrows over her shoulder.

"Where did the wolf-boys go?" Sanji asked, looking around. Luffy and Zoro were nowhere to be seen.

"They're in our room," Robin said. Her hair was tied up in a loose bun with a bow and she wore a Victorian-style dress with long, flared sleeves. She held a long smoking pipe in one hand, though naturally it held no tobacco or anything of the sort.

At Nami's and Sanji's surprised glances, she explained, "They asked to borrow makeup for their costumes. I said it was okay."

"Why would they need makeup?" Franky mused. He was wearing a headband which made it look like he had a bolt through his head, along with a white lab coat sewn together over a stitched-up sweater and round glasses resting on his metal nose.

"I do wonder what they're planning," Brook said, chuckling. He wore a thin, black, pinstripe suit with a collar flared like bat's wings.

Their question was soon answered when the door to the women's quarters flew open and Luffy came jumping down to the deck, dragging Zoro with him. Zoro crashed to the ground while Luffy landed on his feet and bounced.

"We're here!" Luffy announced cheerfully as Zoro picked himself up. Both had used some kind of powder on their faces to make themselves paler.

"Oh, god, don't tell me you guys are supposed to be _vampires_," Sanji exclaimed.

"Yeah, why?" Zoro said as Luffy bared his teeth. He glanced at Usopp and Sanji. "Oh, you guys dressed as werewolves."

"Are you telling me you didn't all plan this?" Nami demanded.

They shook their heads.

"Guess great minds think alike," Usopp declared, high-fiving Luffy.

"I'm gonna drink your blood," Luffy informed Robin, baring his teeth. She smiled and patted his head.

"How'd you guys know how to use the makeup?" Franky asked, looking them over. "It doesn't look at all messy. I'm impressed."

Zoro gestured to Luffy, who said cheerfully, "Sometimes Makino and Dadan wore makeup and I watched them put it on, so I kinda know how to do it a little."

"Two mothers?" Brook asked.

"Or do you have any more siblings we should know about?" Nami asked.

"Kinda," Luffy said in response to Brook's question. "Hey, Sanji, can we have food now?"

"Sorry, Luffy," Sanji said. "You and moss-head don't get any food. Vampires can't eat like humans, remember?"

They stared at him incredulously.

"I'm kidding. Come on, guys, let's eat!"


	96. Vampire Nami

**I've been hoping someone would request this, but surprisingly no one has. Oh well. **

**Non-humans: Vampire Sanji, Vampire Nami**

* * *

"Sanji-_kun_, wait up!"

Sanji whipped around and waved his arms excitedly. "Nami-_san_, my love! How can I assist you?"

Nami stopped in front of him. They were near the Sunny; Sanji had just been heading out on his nighttime stroll to find people to drink from.

"Here's the plan," Nami said. "You find people to drink from, I'll take their money. Deal?"

"Oh, you're so lovely when you're scheming," Sanji sighed, hearts forming around him. Nami waved them away. "Of course it's a deal!"

"Good," Nami said, grinning. "But I'm not letting you have any of _my_ blood tonight, got it?"

"Of course, of course," Sanji agreed quickly.

They set off together down the street. Soon they came upon their first house; Sanji knocked on the door and the resident, a middle-aged woman, opened the door.

"Can I help you?" she asked.

Sanji hesitated. Nami elbowed him.

"Er . . . may we come in?" Sanji asked nervously. "Just for a minute."

"Alright," the woman agreed. "Come on in." She stepped aside and allowed Sanji and Nami to enter.

"Do you need help with something?" she asked, closing the door behind them.

Sanji hesitated again. Nami punched his shoulder.

He cleared his throat. "I'm sorry about this," he said. "Hold still."

The woman froze. "I—what are you—?"

"Don't speak," Sanji ordered. "Uh, please."

"Sorry about all this," Nami added to her. "Sanji-_kun_, you take care of her, I'll check around." She swiftly left the room to look for cash.

Sanji and the woman stared at each other awkwardly for a moment.

"Well, I should get this over with," Sanji mumbled. "Sorry."

He stepped forward, took the woman in his arms, and bit gently into her neck.

By the time Nami came back, the woman was unconscious on the couch and Sanji was in her kitchen, cooking a small meal.

"I found some money," she announced. "I didn't take too much, if that makes you feel better."

Sanji smiled at her. "That's my Nami-_san_!"

He finished up the food and left it on the counter. "That should help her recover," he murmured. "Onto the next one?"

"Yup," Nami said, stuffing the bills down her shirt. "Don't look like that, she's fine."

Sanji coughed. "Of course . . ."

* * *

They continued this routine for a while. On the fifth house they came to, no one answered the door, despite that there was a faint light on in an upstairs window.

"Must be asleep?" Sanji murmured.

"You could just go in and drink from them anyway, right?" Nami said.

Sanji glanced at her. "Er . . ."

"Oh, right, you have to be invited," Nami remembered. "Tell you what, you go on ahead. I'll go in and check if there's anything worth stealing, and I'll catch up with you later."

Sanji smiled. "Oh, you're so lovely when you're plotting, Nami-_san_! I'll see you soon!"

She ignored him and headed inside, opening the door and stealthily creeping in. Sanji sighed and headed down the street.

* * *

"Not much," Nami muttered to herself, checking drawers and doors around the house.

She sighed. "Cheapskate," she muttered, as if what little money there was had been meant for her in the first place.

She crept up the stairs and cautiously opened the door where faint light shone from. Inside, a man, perhaps Sanji's age, lay prone on the bed. A gaslight next to him glowed on a low setting.

Nami frowned as she eyed the man. He didn't seem to be breathing.

"Hey," she hissed, creeping forward until she was next to the bed. She knelt and shook the man's shoulder. "_Hey_. Are you alive?"

She cautiously leaned forward, not noticing his eyes opening a slit, and pressed her ear to his chest while feeling his throat. No heartbeat . . . no pulse . . .

". . ."

She stiffened, but before she could lift her head, cold hands seized her and moved her head to the side—a wet mouth closed around her neck, and sharp fangs pierced her flesh—

"Oh, god," she hissed. In her current position, it would be too difficult to move away or try to pry the vampire's jaw away, and should she force it, she would risk even more blood loss.

"Get _off_ me," she said in a strangled voice, but in his weakened state, the vampire didn't seem to hear her.

"Maybe Sanji-_kun_ will come back soon," she murmured to herself. "No, he . . . can't come in the house . . ."

She groaned quietly. "Why this?"

Several minutes passed. It occurred to her that perhaps she would die there. She frowned.

"Wasn't there . . ."

She blinked slowly.

"Sanji-_kun_ said . . . something about . . . a vampire draining a . . . human . . ."

She blinked hard now, trying to clear her head. It was getting hard to see.

"What was it . . . ?"

* * *

Sanji waited anxiously outside the house Nami had gone into. He had already gone to the next house over, taken some blood from the resident, cooked a small meal, and left.

And Nami still had not come out.

He knocked on the door. "Nami-_san_," he called. "Nami-_san_, are you there?"

No response.

"Nami-_san_?"

Sanji stepped back, biting his lip. He turned on his heel, intending to head back to Sunny and get one of the crew to barge in and find Nami, when the door suddenly opened.

He turned, smiling in relief. "Nami-_sa_—"

But his smile vanished when he saw a man about his age holding Nami in his arms. She was limp and unmoving.

"Oh, shit," the man muttered when he spotted Sanji.

Sanji tore his eyes away from Nami, his eyes burning red as he glared at the stranger holding her.

"What _happened_?" he hissed. He narrowed his eyes, noticing something. "You're not human . . ."

"You aren't, either," the stranger pointed out. "Is she your girlfriend? I'm so sorry, I can explain—I didn't mean to—"

He looked ready to cry. Despite this, Sanji snarled, "If you weren't holding her I'd make a nice new dent in the wall with your face. What the hell did you do?!"

"I'm a vampire, too," the man said frantically. "It's a long story, but—I was starving, I couldn't move, and the next thing I know, this lady's there and—and I—"

He gulped. "But she can come back, can't she? As a—as one of us."

"Yeah," Sanji said slowly, turning away to wipe at his face. "Give her to me."

The vampire cautiously stepped out of his house and slowly handed Nami's body to Sanji. Sanji gently propped her against the side of the house before turning and delivering a sharp kick to the man's stomach. He flew back into his house and a loud _CRASH_ was heard as he slammed against the far wall.

"Good riddance," Sanji spat. He turned back to Nami and scooped her up gently. He pressed his ear to her chest to confirm her heart had stopped, and once he had, he bowed his head over her.

"Nami-_san_, my sweet . . . I'm so sorry, I should have protected you . . . it's okay . . . it's okay."

* * *

"What happened?" Zoro asked in surprise, snapping himself out of sleepiness when he spotted Sanji coming back, carrying Nami.

"I'll explain later," Sanji said shortly.

Nonetheless, Zoro followed him into the infirmary.

"Should I go wake Chopper?" he asked, scratching his head. "Is she okay?"

"She'll be fine," Sanji said through clenched teeth. He went to the fridge, got out a blood pack, and ripped it open, never mind the spilled drops. He pulled Nami's jaw down gently and began pouring the blood in slowly, stroking her throat as he did so.

"What're you doing?" Zoro muttered in confusion. "I'm no doctor, but I'm pretty sure that's not how blood transfusions work."

"Shut it," Sanji snapped, whipping around to glare at Zoro suddenly, and Zoro was surprised to find Sanji's visible eye was shining with tears.

He decided to keep his mouth shut, instead sitting cross-legged to keep an eye on them. Sanji continued to feed the blood to Nami, slowly and gently so she wouldn't choke.

And then, when the pack was empty, she opened her eyes.

"God, my head," she mumbled, squinting in the light. "What . . . ?"

Sanji dropped the empty container and suddenly slumped, bowing his head. Nami glanced at him in surprise. "Sanji-_kun_ . . . ?"

"Nami-_san_," Sanji whispered, his voice suddenly quivering with sobs. He looked up, smiling in great relief, his face shining with tears. "You're back . . ."

She frowned. "What're you crying for?" Suddenly her eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Oh! That guy—he was a vampire, I couldn't get away—and he . . ."

She trailed off. "How am I alive . . . ?"

"Oh," Zoro exclaimed in sudden understanding. "So that's what . . ."

Nami slowly looked around the room. She looked between Zoro and Sanji, frowning faintly. She lifted a hand to her mouth curiously, and then lowered it to her neck, pressing against the side gently. Then she pressed her hand to her chest.

She took a deep breath and screamed as loudly as she could. Zoro and Sanji winced and covered their ears. Eventually she fell silent and sighed.

"You got it out of your system?" Zoro asked cautiously.

"Yeah, I guess," Nami said, staring at the opposite wall. "I kinda wanna punch someone. Sanji-_kun_, any chance we can go find that guy?"

"I've already taken care of him, Nami-_san_," Sanji admitted.

The door burst open and the rest of the crew came piling inside.

"Is someone hurt?!" Chopper cried. "We heard a scream—"

"Nami, are you okay?" Luffy asked in surprise, spotting her on the bed.

Nami folded her arms. "If you can call _this_ 'okay,'" she muttered.

"Everything's fine," Zoro said.

"What happened?" Usopp demanded. "What was that scream about?"

"Just letting off some emotions," Nami said calmly.

"Sanji, are you crying?" Robin asked.

"Uh . . ." Sanji quickly wiped his sleeve across his face. "I, uh . . ."

"I'm a vampire," Nami announced abruptly. She was met with shocked exclamations and she explained what had happened.

"Why the hell didn't you go in there and help her?" Franky demanded, turning to Sanji.

Sanji glared at him. "Don't you think I would've if I could've?! I can't go in someone's home without permission!"

"Right," Franky said, holding up his hands. "Right, sorry."

Luffy grinned at Nami. "Well, you're okay now, and that's what's important! Also, you're a vampire, and that's super-cool!"

She grabbed the pillow from the bed, shoved her face into it, and screamed again.


	97. I'll Only Be a Burden Here

**Holy cow, this was fun to write! Also this is the longest one yet, I think? Damn. Hopefully the 100th special will be longer. I'm counting on you guys to make it happen!**

**Gamma Cavy requested Vampire Nami and Sanji and Werewolf Usopp joining the crew!**

**Non-humans: Werewolf Usopp, Vampire Sanji, Vampire Nami**

* * *

"Boy, that sure was an interesting experience!"

Nami screeched to a stop as Luffy picked himself up from the street, dusting himself off. Even the pirates chasing her froze in surprise.

"Huh?" Luffy said, glancing around. "Geez, where am I, anyway?"

"What the hell?" Nami said to herself. "No human should be able to survive that fall . . ." She frowned. "Not that I'm one to talk, I suppose . . ."

She narrowed her eyes. She _was_ thirsty, but . . . now was no time to stop for a drink. Plan B, then.

* * *

"You're pretty strong!"

Luffy glanced up. "Hey, you're that girl who ran off. Why were those guys chasing you?"

"Want to team up?" Nami said, jumping from the balcony. "I'm a thief who only steals from pirates. You can fend off the strong guys while I get the treasure."

"No, thanks," Luffy said bluntly. He started to turn away when he suddenly fell to his knees. "Oh . . . I'm starving . . ."

Nami smirked. "I can take you to some food . . ."

"Really?!"

* * *

Nami eyed Luffy as he ate greedily. His blood would taste so good and rich after all that food . . .

But before she could give a command, he looked up and said cheerfully, "So you're a thief, huh?"

"I only steal from pirates," she snapped, taken aback.

"A thief's a thief," Luffy said, shrugging.

Not long after that, Nami announced she was a navigator, and Luffy immediately perked up.

"A navigator?! Awesome!" he exclaimed. "Hey, would you join my pirate crew?! We've been looking for a navigator!"

"Pirate crew?! Absolutely not!" Nami snapped.

Luffy pouted and sat back in his chair. Nami hesitated and looked to the side, thinking.

"Well . . ." she said slowly. "Tell you what . . . I'll work with you, but you have to do me a favor."

"Sure, what is it?" Luffy said without missing a beat.

"I'll be right back," Nami said, leaving the room suddenly. Luffy drummed his hands on the table while he waited.

A few minutes later, Nami returned and stared at Luffy. "Hold still," she ordered. "And don't speak."

Luffy froze and went mute. He stared at Nami with wide eyes.

"Sorry," she said, approaching him. "Don't worry, our deal's still on."

She bit into his neck and began drinking. Once she'd had her fill, she closed the cuts, lifted her head, and wiped her fingers across Luffy's forehead. He promptly passed out.

"Alright," she muttered to herself. "Let's see here . . ."

* * *

After reapplying sunscreen (she had found some in the abandoned house, and decided to take the whole bottle with her), she tied the unconscious Luffy up and dragged him down the street to where the Buggy Pirates had made their base.

One cheerful and utterly false explanation to Buggy later, she kicked Luffy none-too-gently until he woke up.

"Huh?" he said, looking around. "Why am I tied up? Where are we? What happened? Nami?"

"Sorry, boss," she said sweetly.

* * *

"Eat up, Nami!" exclaimed one of the pirates, shoving a rack of meat towards her. She pushed it away.

"I'm watching my weight," she lied with her false smile, taking a mug of booze instead and gulping it down. "Alcohol-only diet, you know!"

The rowdy bunch whooped and cheered as Nami gulped down the mug.

* * *

"You can't just _sleep _off a wound like that!" Nami yelled, but Zoro was already going into the house.

"Stupid dog, swallowing the key," Luffy muttered, still stuck in the cage. As old Mayor Boodle pet Chouchou, Luffy glanced at Nami. "By the way, what happened? You left the room and then I woke up in that place with red-nose."

"Look, don't worry about it," Nami muttered, holding out her hand for Chouchou to sniff. He looked at her suspiciously and sniffed her hand. He backed up a step, but when Nami showed no sign of aggression, he calmed down and let her pet him.

"Okay," Luffy said, dropping the subject startlingly fast.

* * *

"Can't believe I'm working with a couple of mons—"

Nami caught herself just in time.

"_Vampirette freak!"_

"_Get off our ship!"_

"_We ain't workin' with some monster!"_

Nami sighed, running her hand over her left shoulder.

"Not to mention _him_," she muttered. "I guess it's not important."

* * *

"You look exhausted," Zoro remarked as the band of three sailed away. "You need a nap or something?"

Nami yawned despite herself and glared at him. "Yeah, well, I haven't had much sleep lately," she muttered.

Zoro narrowed his eyes. "Did your eyes just turn red . . . ?"

"No," Nami said. "Don't be stupid."

Zoro scowled.

"It would be way easier to stay up if I had a drink," Nami said. "But . . ."

"You had plenty to drink at that party," Luffy piped up.

Nami sighed. "I'm sorry, I . . . I need a nap. I haven't slept in more than a day . . . you two, make sure we don't sail _too_ far off-course. Wake me if there's trouble."

She curled up in her rowboat and fell asleep.

"Wow, that was fast," Luffy remarked.

"I could use a nap, too, but . . . someone has to keep you out of trouble," Zoro muttered.

Luffy frowned. "Since when do I get into trouble?"

Zoro decided to ignore this.

* * *

"Nami!"

Nami awoke suddenly.

"It's almost sunset," Luffy said cheerfully, yawning. "Were you gonna sleep til daybreak?"

"No," Nami muttered, yawning. "I feel a bit better. Sorry to be a burden."

"Nah," Zoro muttered, eyeing the horizon.

"We should . . . drop anchor soon," Nami said. "Just for the night. I could keep piloting for a while, but it wouldn't be safe with you two asleep, and just these tiny dinghies . . ."

"Sounds good," Luffy said. "Are you nocturnal?"

Nami flinched. "I—what? Don't be silly!" she exclaimed, laughing nervously.

Luffy tilted his head. "Huh? I was just wondering if you're used to sleeping in the day. I mean, you're a thief, right? So maybe you usually sneak around at night and sleep in the day, but yesterday was different for you, and that's why you were so tired."

Nami coughed into her hand. "Oh. I . . . yeah, I guess . . . something like that."

Luffy grinned, satisfied. "Well, that's no problem! Me and Zoro can stay up a little longer, right, Zoro?"

"Yeah," Zoro said, eyeing Nami with faint suspicion. She glanced away.

* * *

Some time after they'd dropped anchor and Luffy and Zoro had fallen asleep, Nami crept from her rowboat to theirs. First she lifted Luffy's arm and bit into his wrist gently, being careful not to wake him. Then she crept to Zoro and lifted his arm, preparing to bite—

"The hell are you doing?"

She looked up guiltily and saw that Zoro was awake, eyeing her suspiciously.

"Just my luck," she muttered. "Sorry. Keep quiet and hold still, okay? This won't take long."

Zoro froze and Nami swiftly moved forward, biting into his neck and taking some blood. The combined total of Zoro's and Luffy's blood would be enough to keep her going for the next day or two.

"Sorry," she muttered, not looking Zoro in the eyes as she wiped his memory. He fell asleep, snoring in sync with Luffy. Nami climbed back to her own rowboat.

* * *

Luffy and Zoro woke the next morning to find Nami quickly applying sunscreen. The sun would rise soon.

"What're you doing?" Zoro mumbled. Luffy yawned loudly.

"Oh, morning," Nami said, glancing up and quickly looking back down. "I've got . . . sensitive skin. I burn easily, so I have to put on a lot of sunscreen every day."

"That sucks," Luffy said sympathetically. "You look so pale . . ." he frowned. "Are you getting enough to eat? Do you want some apples?"

"I'm good," Nami said. "I'm always pale. Don't worry about it."

"Seriously, you shouldn't go too long without eating," Zoro said with a touch of concern.

Luffy looked at Zoro. "You're one to talk . . ."

"Shut it."

* * *

That afternoon, they hit an island. Luffy cheerfully yelled for joy, but Nami and Zoro shushed him, looking around.

"We're being watched," Zoro muttered, looking up at the cliffs around them.

"Yeah," Nami murmured, her sharp ears picking up on the sounds. "Three . . . no, four . . . in the bushes. They're over there."

She pointed just as Usopp climbed out of the brush, armed with his slingshot. Zoro glanced at her in approval, surprised she was able to pick up on the exact location.

As Usopp gave his little speech, Nami stared up at him, narrowing her eyes. Maybe she was wrong, but . . . was he human . . . ?

She interrupted Luffy's excited cries to point out to Usopp that he only had three others with him. The kids ran off and Usopp yelled at them while Luffy laughed.

Eventually, Usopp ended up sitting at the bottom of the cliff sheepishly. Now Nami was sure he was not human—but she wasn't sure exactly what he was. Perhaps a very tall goblin? Did goblins normally have yellow eyes?

* * *

Usopp took them to Jack's Flap, where the owner gave him a suspicious eye before resolutely ignoring him. Usopp looked down and the four sat at a table.

Once Luffy had finished regaling Usopp with tales of his father, he leaned in and said, very seriously, "So. Why do you have a tail?"

Usopp's thick black tail had been hanging out from a hole in his overalls since they'd met. It had wagged during the story, but now drooped and went between his legs.

"I," he mumbled. "Well . . . I'm a . . . werewolf."

Luffy grinned widely. "What?! No way! That's so cool!"

Usopp had been cowering, fully prepared to be hit, kicked, or otherwise tormented. But when he processed Luffy's reaction, he lifted his head and stared in surprise.

"You . . . you don't . . . you're not scared?" he said meekly.

"Why would I be?! Werewolves are super-cool!" Luffy exclaimed. "Right, guys?!"

Zoro shrugged. "As long as one's not attacking me . . . this is my first time meeting one, so I can't really say."

Nami shrugged, too, though she eyed Usopp suspiciously.

"You're . . . only violent on the full moon, right?" she said cautiously.

"Yeah," Usopp said quietly. "It's . . . not fun . . . but I'm careful, I promise! I—I don't hurt anyone, no one's in danger—!"

He stopped himself, looking down.

"How'd it happen?" Luffy said happily, not noticing the mood change. "Were you born one?"

"No, no," Usopp said. "I don't even know if that can happen—well, long story short . . ." he removed his blue-and-white armband to reveal very faint scars. "I got bitten when I was _really_ little. I was told that Dad took me out somewhere, and there was a transformed werewolf . . . I don't remember it at all. I'm lucky I didn't die, I suppose . . ."

"Wow," Luffy whispered, staring in fascination. Zoro listened with interest.

"For some reason, I only started transforming when I was thirteen," Usopp explained.

Luffy blinked. "You mean . . . you weren't expecting it at all?"

Usopp shook his head slowly. "I don't . . . want to talk about that . . ."

If he went into the details, he would surely start crying, and that was the last thing he wanted to do in front of these tough pirates. He didn't want to talk about how he had gotten out, how the townspeople had fought him off, beaten him to near death, only to find out it was him the next morning . . . and how, ever since then, they'd been more aggressive in their daily chases of him after one too many "Pirates are coming!" alarms, how they hardly talked to him . . . how, despite warnings from the others, Kaya, Pepper, Onion, and Carrot were the only ones who would still talk to him, who were sympathetic, even around the full moon . . .

"Okay," Luffy said, snapping Usopp out of his gloom. "That's fine. Do you have any cool werewolf powers?"

Usopp brightened. "I can smell things really good," he said. "I can even recognize people by scent!"

"What do I smell like?" Luffy asked eagerly.

Usopp sniffed the air. "Rubber . . . and meat . . ." he frowned. "Why do you smell like rubber?"

Luffy grinned. "I'm special," he said cheerfully.

Usopp shrugged and turned to Zoro, sniffing. "You smell like . . . steel, and booze . . . wow, you really like alcohol, huh?"

"Yeah," Zoro said, raising an eyebrow, impressed despite himself.

Usopp now turned to Nami. "You smell like—"

But he stopped, sniffing the air. He frowned and sniffed again. Nami stiffened and leaned away.

"Usopp?" Luffy said curiously. "Nami? Guys? Something wrong?"

Usopp slowly sat back, leaning away from Nami, whose stare promised certain death should he say a word about how she smelled. "Nothing," he whispered, quivering.

Luffy frowned. "Nami's not _that_ scary, is she?"

Usopp coughed. "Uh . . . sunscreen, that's what I smell. And . . . oranges."

He decided not to mention the faint scent of blood, nor the clear scent which indicated Nami was not a human.

* * *

"Nothing but a dirty monster, a wolf-man," Klahadore sneered. "I wonder how much human flesh you like to eat, you beast? Do you go mad if you don't eat someone every month? Even your filthy swashbuckling father would turn away from you if he knew—"

Usopp ran forward and punched the butler in the face.

"Usopp!" Kaya exclaimed indignantly.

"I'm going," Usopp said, turning away so no one would see him crying. "No one insults my father like that. You can insult me a-all you like, b-but—"

He broke off and ran away.

"That stupid butt-ler!" Pepper yelled.

"You jerk butt-ler, Captain Usopp isn't a monster!" Carrot exclaimed.

"Dumb butt-ler, don't insult Captain Usopp like that, or his dad!" Onion cried.

"Idiot butt-ler!" Luffy yelled.

Zoro hit him. "Don't _you_ start."

* * *

"You okay?"

Usopp yelped in surprise when Luffy suddenly dropped down in front of him upside-down. He'd smelled Luffy, but thought he'd been imagining it.

"Don't do that," he exclaimed.

"You okay?" Luffy repeated, turning himself around so he was rightside-up.

"Yeah," Usopp said, bringing his knees up to his chest. "I'm used to it."

He'd obviously been crying, but Luffy decided not to point this out.

"I'm made of rubber, y'know," Luffy said cheerfully, staring out at the sea. "I ate a Devil's Fruit when I was little." He grabbed his cheek and pulled. "Ever since then, I've been a rubber man."

Usopp looked at him in surprise. "That does explain why you smell like rubber . . ."

"What I'm saying is, I'm a monster," Luffy said cheerfully, still staring out at sea.

Usopp stared at him. "I . . ."

"And other monsters are cool," Luffy continued. "Werewolves, vampires, talking reindeer—" he paused. "Huh. Where'd that last one come from? Anyway, they're all cool."

Usopp adjusted himself so he sat cross-legged and stared out to sea with Luffy.

"I see," he said at last.

Eventually he glanced over at Luffy again. "I was wondering—what exactly is that girl? Nami? What is she?"

"Huh?" Luffy said.

"I mean . . . I'm a werewolf . . . you're a human, more or less . . . what's Nami?" Usopp said.

Luffy laughed. "She's human! She has some scary faces, and Zoro calls her a witch sometimes, but she's human, don't worry!"

"But she smells like—"

Usopp and Luffy froze. There were voices coming from the beach.

* * *

"PIRATES! PIRATES ARE COMING!"

Usopp smiled in relief when the first door finally opened. But the people who came out looked angry and fed-up, as did those who followed from other houses. Usopp's smile faded.

"Pirates . . . are coming," he said. "Pirates are coming! They'll be here tomorrow morning, they're going to kill everyone—!"

A pot was thrown at his head faster than he could duck. He rubbed his head, wincing.

"That's it, Usopp," one woman snapped. "Twice in one day is too much."

"You trying to get yourself hurt, werewolf?" another man said, threateningly tapping a frying pan in his hand. "Looking for a fight? Looking to attack us? Once a month isn't enough, huh?"

Usopp backed up a step. "No . . . I don't—I don't attack you anymore when I'm transformed—you know I boarded up all the windows, and the door's sealed around those times, too—everyone, I'm trying to help!"

"Sure, just like you try to help every morning," someone sneered. "GET HIM!"

* * *

Nami and Zoro were napping against a tree when they were awoken by Usopp's screaming. They stared at him as he ran past, yelling something about Luffy and Klahadore being a pirate.

"What's he on about?" Zoro mumbled.

Nami narrowed her eyes as Pepper, Onion, and Carrot woke up in the road. "Think we should find Luffy?"

* * *

"Kaya, you've got to believe me—!"

The sound of Kaya's slap rang throughout the yard, adding a new mark to Usopp's multitude of bruises and cuts from the townsfolk. She turned away, crying.

"I'm not . . . lying," Usopp whispered.

"There he is!"

Usopp turned tail and ran. He stumbled when he was shot, but picked himself up and hurried on, escaping into the forest.

* * *

"Why'd you lie?"

Usopp sat down. "They shouldn't get involved in this," he mumbled. The sun was sinking below the horizon quickly. "I don't know what to do . . ."

"Good job," Zoro said, and Usopp looked up at him in surprise. "Keeping them out of it like that, I mean."

Usopp looked down.

"You okay?" Nami said, kneeling by him. "Let me treat those."

Usopp looked up at her and scooted away.

Luffy laughed. "What, you still scared, Usopp?"

Nami and Zoro looked at him.

"Usopp thought Nami wasn't human because she looked so scary earlier," Luffy explained cheerfully. Zoro chuckled and Usopp looked at Nami nervously.

"Is that so?" Nami said, smiling, though she narrowed her eyes at Usopp. "That's funny. You know I'm human, right, Usopp?"

Usopp hesitated. "Yeah," he said at last. "S-Sorry."

* * *

"Then it's a plan," Nami said. The sun had long since set. "Luffy, Zoro, go find some grease barrels. I'm going to treat Usopp's wounds."

They playfully saluted and headed off. Nami knelt by Usopp and checked him over.

"The villagers really did a number on you, huh?" she murmured as she began dabbing antiseptic. He winced.

"Yeah," he said. "But it's okay. I don't mind."

"Liar."

They were quiet for another minute.

"You're scared of me, huh?" Nami said without looking up. "I guess you know what I am."

Usopp's tail twitched. "I think so," he whispered. "And I guess you—you're not gonna take my blood, 'cause I'm not . . . a human. But . . ."

Nami waited quietly.

"You're not gonna—you're not gonna kill those two, right?"

"I would've done that already. I've got no reason to kill them, and they're more useful to me alive."

She glanced up at him. "You're a fine one to worry about a dangerous non-human."

He glanced away, slightly abashed. "Well . . . I've never met another non-human, so . . . I wouldn't know . . ."

She glanced back down and removed his armband, starting on the gunshot wound. "Don't you dare tell Luffy and Zoro. This—what I am, it's been a deal-breaker in the past, and I can't risk it again."

Usopp hesitated. "But . . . Luffy's . . ."

"I'm not risking it. Besides, I'm only working with them temporarily. They don't need to know."

She glanced up at him again. "Just don't tell them. Please."

"Okay," Usopp agreed.

She returned to treating his wounds.

"Hey!" Luffy yelled as he and Zoro returned. They dumped several barrels onto the sand. "We found 'em!"

* * *

"Who's that?" one of the pirates asked.

"Just some freak kid from the village," Jango said. "Get going, you idiots!"

Usopp held his ground, though his legs were shaking and his tail was tucked between them. "I—don't mess with me! I'm warning you!"

He scattered caltrops all over the ground, halting them momentarily.

"Luffy and Zoro aren't here?!"

Usopp turned to see Nami. "You . . . Nami?"

"They aren't here yet?" she demanded. "Luffy ran ahead of us! How did he fall behind?!"

"You're here?" Usopp said dumbly.

"Well, yeah," she said. "I can't let those jerks have the treasure!"

"Oh."

They stared out over the pirates, who were trying to dance around the caltrops.

"You don't have any weird werewolf abilities that would stop them, right?" Nami said.

"Not really," Usopp said helplessly. "What about . . . y-you . . . ?"

"Maybe," she said. "I'll see what I can do if they get too close. If all fails, I have an escape tactic."

"Really?"

"It's just for me."

"Oh."

* * *

The fight was over at long last. Luffy had gotten Captain Kuro back for hurting Usopp, and Zoro had sliced down Jango in the woods.

"Captain, are you okay?" the boys cried as Usopp sat down on a stump heavily.

"Never better," Usopp said weakly, grinning.

"Usopp-_san_," Kaya said, standing next to him. "I'm . . ."

"It's okay," Usopp said. "I . . . I understand. I wouldn't have believed me, either."

He leaned in seriously. "I have something to ask of you guys . . ."

. . .

"What?!" Pepper exclaimed. "Don't tell everyone?! But you're a hero! You saved them all! You and those other guys—"

"It doesn't matter," Usopp said seriously. "I've lied one too many times . . . this is just another lie, isn't it? Besides, I honestly don't think the villagers would change their opinion of me, even if they knew."

"It's awful, the way they treat you," Kaya blurted out. "It's not fair, you didn't ask to be a—!"

"It's okay," Usopp lied. "I don't care what they think of me."

* * *

"Get on board already," Zoro said, rolling his eyes.

Usopp froze and stared at the three, waiting on the Going Merry.

"But . . ." he laughed nervously. "You can't be serious . . . Luffy, I know you said you didn't care, but . . . I'll only be a burden down the line! I'll only cause trouble! So . . ."

Luffy stared at him.

"So . . ."

"Geez, don't be like that," Luffy said. "We're friends, aren't we? Hurry up! We're not leaving without you!"

Usopp began crying.

* * *

Sanji yawned as he served up food and took orders around the Baratie. Ever since he'd been turned into a vampire by that asshole magician, he had normally worked at night, cooking up meals and preparing food for the next day. But because all the waiters had run out last week, he'd been forced to be on his feet all day, wearing strong sunscreen and stifling as many yawns as he could.

The other chefs knew of his vampirism and would poke fun every so often to the point where he threatened to drain them of all their blood. He scowled even as he poured the pretty lady her drink. The last few times he'd tried to tell someone of his vampirism outside the restaurant staff (usually a pretty lady, in hopes that she was a fan of vampires), they had burned him with crosses and six-pointed stars, screamed, or thrown holy water at his face . . . one time it was all three. That hadn't been a good day.

So he usually avoided trying to make a permanent friendship and only flirted with women when he knew he'd never see them again. Now, however . . .

"Man, they're noisy," he muttered, looking over to where the Strawhats sat. He spotted Nami and his eyes lit up. He promptly ran over and presented her with a rose.

"Oh, my dear, how the heavens above have blessed me this day!" he cried, to her surprise. "The moment I saw you, I knew we were meant to be! My name is Sanji—what are you called?"

When he got no response except for Zoro's audible snort, he opened his eyes and saw Nami staring at him in shock. Usopp leaned over and cautiously sniffed the air, stiffening when he caught Sanji's scent. Sanji looked at Nami for a moment longer and finally realized.

"Oh! How fortunate," he cried, grabbing her hands. "We are one and the same, are we not? Fate must have brought us together after all! I shall bring you the finest wine we have, free of charge!"

"Free of charge? What about us?" Zoro demanded.

"You have to pay."

Zoro rolled his eyes.

Sanji now looked over at Usopp, but narrowed his eyes. "You . . ."

Usopp gulped. "Don't hurt me," he whispered.

Sanji straightened up. "I don't know what you are, but if you so much as think of doing anything to this restaurant or the chefs, or me . . ."

Usopp's tail was curled between his legs. "I wouldn't! Why would—why would I do anything to this place?"

"Hey," Nami said. "He's harmless. Leave him alone."

"Yes, my dear!" Sanji cried. "I'll be right back with that wine!"

He glared at Luffy. "Get back to work!"

Luffy was dragged to the kitchen.

"What was that about?" Zoro muttered. "How'd he know Usopp wasn't human?"

"_He_ wasn't human, either," Usopp said nervously. "He must've . . . must've been a vampire."

"Huh," Zoro muttered. "He better not think of taking _my_ blood. Right, Nami?"

Nami started. "What? Oh, don't be silly. I'm pretty sure he's harmless."

* * *

They spent four days anchored at the restaurant. In that time, Nami was able to sleep in the day and prowl around at night. Sanji would take naps day and night due to his interrupted sleep schedule, and though he often swooned over Nami, he never once said "vampire" out loud, much to her relief. She avoided him for the most part.

Luffy eventually learned that Sanji was a vampire.

"A vampire?!" he exclaimed as he swept the kitchen floor in the most inefficient manner possible. "That is _so cool_. You _have_ to join my crew now!"

Sanji eyed him. "Do you know you're the first person to call it 'cool?'"

"Yeah, I always thought it was weird that most people don't like vampires and werewolves and stuff," Luffy said cheerfully. "Come on, a vampire cook on the ship would be the best!"

"I don't think so," Sanji said, turning away. "I'm not sure you can deal with having two vampires on board, especially with only two humans. Not to mention that werewolf fellow . . ."

Luffy laughed. "No, don't be silly, we have three humans on the crew!"

Sanji looked at him curiously but didn't press it.

* * *

"Back so soon, Nami?"

"Yeah," Nami said, approaching Arlong. "I found some morons and tricked them. All their treasure's mine now."

Arlong grinned. "You're even less human than us—though since you're a vampire, that's not saying much, is it? I'm proud of you!"

Nami flinched internally and nodded. "Whatever."

* * *

"I'm telling you, having another vampire on board isn't good," Sanji said to Luffy firmly.

Luffy frowned. "I still don't know what you mean, but if we can deal with a werewolf, we can sure as hell deal with a vampire. I'm telling you, I don't care what you are, you're joining the crew!"

* * *

"You do know she's a vampire, don't you?" Nojiko said to Usopp as he sat at the table in her little house. "You're not human, either . . ."

He nervously adjusted his tail. "Well . . . yeah, she's a vampire, but that doesn't matter. She's our friend!"

Nojiko smiled. "That word . . . you don't know her pain, do you . . . ?"

* * *

". . . And that's what happened," Usopp finished.

"Oh, I can't wait to see her again," Sanji sighed. "The legendary couple, the vampire and his bride!"

"Bride?" Zoro muttered.

"Well, yes," Sanji said. "It's only right for two vampires to come together in the harmony of love!"

"Two vampires?" Luffy said, frowning. "Why the heck do you keep saying that?"

"Well—Nami-_san_ is a vampire," Sanji said.

"WHAT?!" Luffy yelled.

"Are you serious?" Zoro demanded. "Why didn't she say anything?"

Sanji stared at them. "You didn't know . . . ?"

"I knew," Usopp admitted quietly. When Luffy and Zoro turned on him, he held up his hands. "She didn't—I can sense it, y'know—" he gestured to his nose. "And she asked me not to say anything—she didn't want anyone to know."

"And vampires can tell when someone's a human or not," Sanji added. "Which is how I knew about Usopp in the first place."

"Oh, well," Luffy said cheerfully, "that explains a lot! In that case, we'll just tell her it's okay that she's a vampire, and we can be on our way!"

"I don't think—" Usopp began, but they were interrupted.

"Just tell me it's okay?" Nami repeated, leaning on her staff as she stared at the group. "It's not that simple, Luffy. You don't understand anything, do you?"

* * *

"Nojiko—!"

Nojiko looked away. "I told Gen-_san_ and everyone years ago," she said. "About the money . . . I'm sorry."

Nami stared at her and the villagers in shock. "But . . ."

"We're so sorry, Nacchan," a middle-aged woman said. "We had to pretend to hate you all that time . . ."

"And it's okay that you're a vampire," added her husband. "We're behind you, Nacchan."

Nami's eyes widened at this and she looked at Nojiko in disbelief.

"Arlong promised he wouldn't tell," she whispered.

"It was one of his underlings, that Kuroobi guy," Nojiko said bitterly. "He went around yelling it throughout the village a year ago, not long after it happened to you. I had to tell everyone, they had to know you weren't dangerous . . ."

Nami looked around. "All this time . . . ?"

* * *

"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, FISHMAN!"

Chu turned around to find Usopp standing and facing him. Though Usopp's tail was curled underneath him, his legs did not shake.

"I . . . I won't back down!" Usopp yelled. "Come at me! I'm gonna fight for Nami's sake!"

"Why would you want to fight for that little bitch?" Chu said disdainfully, barely moving as he faced Usopp.

Usopp gulped. "She . . . she and the others . . . they're some of the only people in the world I know who . . . who don't care what I am! And I don't care what _she_ is, because she's my friend! So . . . get over here and fight me like a man!"

* * *

"Why would you want a dirty vampire like Nami on your crew, anyway?" Arlong sneered as Luffy looked around the room, taking in the maps she'd drawn over the years. "She'd only be a burden to you with what she is. Nami belongs to me!"

"I don't care what she is," Luffy said. "Except that she's a damn good navigator and—"

Arlong tried to move his saw to no avail. Luffy's grip was too strong.

"And," Luffy continued, "she is our friend. That's not gonna change."

* * *

"So . . ."

Cocoyashi was out of sight and the sun had set. Nami faced everyone awkwardly. There had hardly been a chance to speak to everyone all at once back there, what with the celebrations taking up so much time. The villagers had been more than happy to let her and Sanji have their fill of blood during that time—it was the least they could do, they said, after all Nami, Sanji, and the others had done for them.

Nami coughed. "Sorry for not mentioning the vampire thing before."

"No problem," Luffy and Zoro said together.

"We get it," Zoro said. "But . . . with two vampires on board, and two humans . . . it's gonna be a problem."

Sanji rolled his eyes. "Luffy, that's what I was trying to tell you."

"But I didn't know Nami was a vampire back then," Luffy protested. "So you weren't making sense."

"I'm fine with being drunk from, but—"

Zoro paused. "Nami? Did you drink from me and Luffy at any point before this? Vampires can wipe memories, can't they?"

Nami looked away.

"So you did?!"

"Sorry," she mumbled. "I was really thirsty . . . it was only once. From each of you."

"Oh, you're so cunning, dear Nami-_san_," Sanji sighed.

Luffy frowned. "I wouldn't have minded! I wish I remember that . . ."

"No, wait, it was twice from you," Nami exclaimed. "I just remembered—back in Orange Town."

Luffy tilted his head. "Is _that_ why I don't remember being knocked out and tied up?"

Usopp, Zoro, and Sanji stared at him, but decided not to question it.

"In any case," Sanji said. "For the sake of _your_ health, each of you should be drunk from at most every two to three days. Nami-_san_ and I should be fine for the next two days or so, but after that . . ."

"Like I said, I'm fine with being drunk from _with_ permission," Zoro said firmly.

"Yeah, yeah," Nami said, waving a hand.

Usopp raised his hand. "The full moon's in a day or two," he said quietly, glancing up at the sky.

"You only attack humans when you're transformed?" Nami said. At Usopp's ashamed nod, she smiled. "I have an idea."

* * *

Usopp trembled violently out on deck. Nami and Sanji were on the other side of the mast as he took off his clothes.

"R-Remember," he said. "I-If I—if I even look like I'm g-gonna attack—"

"We'll go inside," Nami finished, rolling her eyes. "We've been over this, Usopp."

"Right," Usopp mumbled, sitting down. "Any minute now . . ."

* * *

Nami and Sanji came around the mast to find Usopp, in wolf form, standing up. He spotted them and growled suspiciously, sniffing the air with his tail stiff.

"It's okay," Sanji said, kneeling and holding out his hand. "Don't be afraid."

Nami knelt next to him. Usopp sniffed them all over and growled something, his tail between his legs.

"Can you understand us?" Nami said. At Usopp's nod, she said, "My name is Nami."

"I'm Sanji," Sanji added. "We're vampires."

Usopp eyed them suspiciously.

"Don't be like that," Nami said, patting his head. "We can be friends."

Usopp's tail slowly started wagging behind him and he gave another nod.

* * *

Come morning, as soon as Usopp had put on his clothes and gotten to the kitchen, he gave Nami and Sanji crushing hugs.

"Thank you thank you thank you so much," he exclaimed, openly crying. "That was the first time it was _fun_, thank you—"

They shoved him off, insisting it was no big deal.

"Go get some sleep," Sanji ordered, noticing Usopp's exhaustion. He smiled at Nami. "My dear, you should go to bed, too."

"Right," they said together, and left the kitchen.


	98. Nothing's Quite the Same

**I can't believe I haven't mentioned this before - the werewolves in this story are based on the ones from the long-running webcomic Sorcery 101. I highly recommend it (warning for violence and sexual implications). **

**^Ah, yes, perfect way to start off a cohptohap with no werewolves at all. **

**Gamma Cavy requested everyone as a vampire! **

**Non-humans: Vampire Sanji, Vampire Zoro, Vampire Luffy, Vampire Robin, Vampire Usopp, Vampire Nami **

* * *

Amidst the pouring rain, Franky ran for the men's cabin, threw open the door, and yelled, "WAKE UP! EMERGENCY!"

The vampires sleepily looked up.

"This better be a _real_ emergency," Zoro muttered. "We're running on empty here . . ."

The crew hadn't hit a town in days, and everyone but Franky, Brook, and Chopper were growing weaker and more irritable.

"You bet your ass this is a real emergency!" Franky yelled. "Marines're attacking from the port side!"

Instantly everyone was on their feet.

"Marines?" Sanji said with a gleam in his eye.

"That means a drink!" Luffy exclaimed. "Let's go, guys!"

The four ran out past Franky, who stared and said incredulously, "Where'd all that energy come from?"

Upstairs, Chopper knocked frantically on the door to the women's quarters, and then pushed it open when there was no immediate response.

"Nami, Robin!" he exclaimed. "Marines are attacking!"

They sat up.

"Excellent, I'm starving," Robin murmured.

Nami grinned. "This'll be a fun raid!"

They hurried out past Chopper, who quickly followed them. Now the whole crew stood on deck, staring out to sea, where a Marine ship was fast approaching.

"Chopper, Brook, you guys stay and keep them back if they try to board," Luffy ordered. "The rest of us'll go up there. Usopp, find their infirmary and grab as many blood packs as you can. And you guys . . . you know what to do."

"Right," everyone said in understanding. Zoro sliced a wayward cannonball just before it hit the deck. The Marine ship was close now.

The ones boarding grabbed onto Luffy's torso. He stretched his arms out and grabbed the rail of the ship.

"LET'S GO!"

* * *

Luffy took out most of the ones near the bow. He grabbed one of the few stragglers and held the soldier close.

"Sorry 'bout this, but I'm _really_ thirsty," he said cheerfully. He promptly bit into his victim's neck and began drinking. When he felt the struggles grow weak, he quickly lifted his head and wiped his victim's memory. The soldier collapsed to the deck and Luffy looked around. He spotted another Marine trying to sneak away.

"Hey, stop!"

* * *

Nami wiped her first victim's memory and dropped the soldier carelessly. She glanced around and spotted Robin watching her, standing next to a neat row of three unconscious soldiers.

"I've had my fill," she said, smiling. "By the way—"

"On it," Nami said, whipping around. Just before the soldier behind her could fire the pistol, she ordered, "Stop!"

A few minutes later, this one, too, ended up on the deck.

"I was going to say," Robin said with a hint of amusement, "perhaps be a bit nicer when letting go."

Nami shrugged. "Whatever. _They're_ the ones trying to kill _us_. What do I care if some of them wake up with bruises?"

"Fair enough."

* * *

"I saw that one first!"

"No, I did, you idiot!"

"Who's an idiot?!"

"Look in a mirror and find out!"

As Zoro and Sanji butted heads, the soldier whom they were fighting over started to crawl away. But just before reaching a safe escape, the two whipped around and yelled, "STOP RIGHT THERE!"

The soldier froze.

"We'll each take an arm," Zoro snapped.

"Fine," Sanji snapped back, in no mood to debate.

* * *

Usopp took out yet another soldier with his slingshot. He eyed the neck, hesitating, but shook his head and pressed on.

"I'll have to get used to it someday," he muttered to himself. "On the other hand . . ."

He shuddered. "It'd probably feel weird."

He came upon the infirmary at last and his eyes lit up. He found the refrigerator and scooped out the blood packs, leaving one just in case.

* * *

Franky finished out taking the last of the soldiers in the area he'd chosen to cover and looked around. He spotted Zoro and Sanji, dropping the arms of a now-unconscious soldier, and Luffy, setting aside his third victim.

"Weirdos, the lot," he muttered to himself.

Luffy, Zoro, and Sanji looked at him. He grinned and held up his hands.

* * *

They'd finally sent the Marines packing and watched as it sailed off over the horizon.

"That was great," Luffy said cheerfully. "Best meal in days! Sanji, can we have some meat to celebr—"

He paused and frowned.

"Never mind," he mumbled. "Habit."

Sanji patted his head. "It's okay. Let's go back to bed."

"Anything in need of attention, Nami-_san_, Luffy-_san_?" Brook said.

Luffy and Nami looked around, Nami hesitating to check the air.

"We're good," Luffy said.

"We'll be fine," Nami said. "This rain will clear up by tonight. Wake us if there's another emergency."

And with that, they all headed off to bed.

"Chopper-_san_?" Brook said, looking down. Chopper was staring after their friends rather sadly. "What's wrong?"

Chopper jumped. "Uh . . . it's nothing."

Franky and Brook glanced at each other.

"Hey, you wanna tinker in the workshop for a bit?" Franky said cheerfully.

Chopper looked up and smiled.

* * *

"_Bon appetit_," Sanji said sleepily as he served up dinner (a mushroom-based soup). Of course, Franky, Brook, and Chopper were the only ones there.

"Thanks," Franky said cheerfully. As usual, Sanji watched them all expectantly, and each of them tried a bite.

"It's awesome!" Chopper exclaimed. Franky and Brook said similar praises and Sanji smiled in relief.

* * *

That night, the vampires were gathered out on deck, playing, chatting, or relaxing as usual.

"So I was thinking of trying a new recipe with b—" Sanji was saying quietly to Robin, but he was interrupted by the door to the men's quarters opening. Everyone turned to see Chopper.

"Hi," he whispered, quietly shutting the door behind him.

"Hey, Chopper," Nami said, abandoning her absentminded counting of stars in groups of three. "What's up? Something wrong?"

"You thirsty?" Usopp said. "Want some water, or . . ."

Chopper hesitated.

"Spit it out or go back to bed," Zoro said sternly.

"I—I miss hanging out with you guys," Chopper burst out.

"Huh?" Usopp said in surprise.

Chopper looked down. "I just . . . Franky and Brook are fun to hang out with, but . . . Usopp, I never hear your cool stories, and we never play cards anymore, and I can't read or talk with Robin a lot, and I can't play games with Luffy, and meals are so quiet now, and, and—"

He sat down on the grass. "I know you—can't help it—"

"Aw, Chopper, don't cry," Usopp exclaimed, crawling forward and bringing Chopper into a hug. "We're sorry, we miss hanging out with you guys too!"

"You do?" Chopper said. Evidently this hadn't occurred to him.

"Of course we do," Robin said. "I miss reading with you, too."

"Yeah, I miss playing games," Luffy agreed. "I kinda wish I wasn't a vampire, but I guess there's no way to change that."

"I'll have to agree with you on the mealtimes," Sanji admitted. "They just aren't the same. I almost miss having to tell Luffy not to take everyone's food."

The others gave murmurs of assent.

"Well, if it makes you feel better, I can barge into the kitchen and steal from your plates," Luffy offered.

Chopper giggled. "That's okay."

"You wanna hang out with us now?" Zoro offered. "Just until you pass out or something."

Nami glanced at him. "That doesn't sound like a 'just until' kind of sentence."

Chopper nodded, removing himself from Usopp's hug. "Yeah, I'd like that!"

"Great, it's settled!" Luffy exclaimed. "Sanji, bring out the booze!"

* * *

**Here's everyone's (everyone who's been shown so far) fav Disney cartoon in the Modern AU! **

**Luffy - Peter Pan **

**Zoro - The Sword in the Stone **

**Nami - The Aristocats **

**Usopp - Pinocchio **

**Sanji - The Little Mermaid **

**Chopper - Bambi **

**Ace - Mulan **

**Sabo - The Lion King **

**Kuina - Mulan **

**Perona - Oliver &amp; Company **


	99. A Proper Drink at Last

**For newer readers: This story used to be called The Adventures of Werewolf Zoro (which is why the cover art is just WW Zoro). This is because the original idea of the story was to post drabbles of things I didn't use in Yellow Eyes. Buuuut then it started expanding to this convoluted mess we've got going on now. **

**Also: Vampires have a pretty tough time in the colder months. They have difficulty producing their own body heat (clothes help with this), and depend on blood to keep them going and provide at least a little bit of warmth. Because late fall/winter is so chilly, they need more blood to keep themselves going and functioning normal. Unfortunately, colder months often means fewer humans outside, and this can be difficult if the vampire has any kind of trouble getting into houses. We'll probably talk about this in later cohptohaps, though the SH's travels are mainly in summer/early fall before the timeskip, so it may be in the Modern AU. **

**On THAT long note, this thing is probably way overdue! **

**Non-humans: Vampire Sanji, Vampire Usopp **

* * *

"There's no hospital on this island?" Usopp cried weakly.

Chopper shook his head. "I'm sorry, I looked everywhere, but this place is uninhabited . . ."

Usopp groaned and buried his face into his pillow. Chopper had run out of blood packs three days ago, and while Sanji was managing fine with four humans on board, Usopp was still anxious about feeding from the source, and so had been growing weaker. The sun had already set on the day.

"I'm—I'm sure we'll find a place soon," Chopper said encouragingly. "Can you hang in there until then?"

"I'm going to die here," Usopp announced.

"What?!"

"Bury my body among the flowers," Usopp whispered. "Farewell, Chopper . . . you were a good friend . . ."

He went limp.

"Usopp!" Chopper cried, shaking him with tears in his eyes. "No! You can't die here! You need to get up! What about your dream?! What will we do without you?!"

"What's this about dying?" Sanji asked, coming in from his evening kitchen nap.

"Usopp's dead," Chopper wailed, looking up at Sanji desperately.

"So am I," Sanji pointed out. He came over and nudged Usopp with his foot. "Get up, you idiot, you're scaring Chopper."

"Can't get up," Usopp mumbled into the pillow. "Too busy being dead."

Sanji kicked him off the bed and Usopp sat up indignantly. "Hey!"

"You're alive!" Chopper cried happily.

"Well, in the loosest sense of the word," Usopp mumbled, folding his arms. He decided to lay on the floor and examine the ceiling while Chopper explained the situation to Sanji.

"Damn," Sanji muttered. "Y'know, Usopp, now might be a good time to learn to drink from an actual human."

"What?" Usopp said. "Say that again, I didn't hear you."

"I said, now you can learn to drink from a huma—"

"Still can't hear you."

Sanji scowled as the others trickled in for bedtime. "Do you think I'm going to let you starve?"

"Oh, we're still out of blood packs?" Zoro said, glancing at Usopp. "Usopp, you can have some of Luffy's blood, you know."

Luffy nodded firmly. "Anytime!"

"Never," Usopp mumbled.

"Your loss, idiot," Sanji snapped. "Get up already."

"The floor's comfy."

Sanji picked Usopp up and carried him out bridal-style. Usopp didn't seem to have the energy to fight back.

"He'll be okay," Luffy said confidently.

"What's your basis for that?" Franky asked curiously.

"Instinct."

* * *

Sanji turned down the lights in the kitchen after setting Usopp down. He glanced at him and noticed he was leaning on the wall for support.

"That bad, huh?" he muttered.

Usopp grimaced. "I'm fine . . . shut up . . ."

"Warm blood's better than cold, if you ask me," Sanji remarked, pushing Usopp to the couch. Usopp sat down heavily and slumped against the wall. "You're missing out."

Usopp scowled. "I'm gonna . . . hold out 'til we hit the next island."

"I'm going to force-feed you if I have to," Sanji threatened.

Usopp made a face. "No," he mumbled.

Sanji sighed. "You feel up to doing anything?"

Usopp shook his head.

"Then get some more sleep," Sanji ordered, kneeling by the couch and gently pushing Usopp so he was lying down. "Save your energy."

"Yeah," Usopp mumbled. Sanji pulled the blanket over him and he soon fell fast asleep again.

"Idiot," Sanji muttered, heading outside to keep watch.

* * *

Usopp was guided back to the men's quarters the following dawn, stumbling and barely awake. He'd slept most of the night away and collapsed into his bed upon reaching it, falling right back to sleep.

"Any news of an island, Nami-_san_?" Sanji asked, stifling a yawn as he served up breakfast.

Nami shook her head. "From what I can tell, our next stop's more than a week away."

Sanji pressed his lips together. "I see."

"Usopp's still stubborn about it?" Zoro asked, leaning back in his chair.

"Yeah," Sanji said. "He insists he can hold out, but at this rate . . ."

He shook his head. "I don't know what the limit is for a vampire going without blood. More than a week seems to be pushing it."

"What can we do?" Luffy asked. He had quickly finished off his food.

"You could help," Sanji said, serving up seconds. "See if we can't tempt him to drink from you. If you're okay with that?"

Luffy grinned and nodded.

"Of course you are."

"Can I have thirds?"

"Finish your seconds before you ask!"

* * *

"Usopp . . ."

Usopp blearily opened his eyes. The sun had just set, and Sanji and Luffy knelt next to him on either side of the bed. The others were still outside, waiting for them to finish before coming in.

"Nn," Usopp mumbled.

"Can you open your mouth?"

Usopp swallowed dryly and slowly opened up his mouth. At a nod from Sanji, Luffy gently stuck his wrist between Usopp's teeth.

Usopp had just begun to close his mouth again when he realized what he was doing and weakly reached up, pushing Luffy's arm out of the way.

"No," he mumbled stubbornly between lightly clenched teeth.

"You need to drink," Luffy said firmly, pushing his wrist near Usopp's mouth again. "I don't mind. You can take as much as you need."

"Well, you shouldn't let him take _all_ of it," Sanji muttered.

"Don' . . . wanna," Usopp mumbled, squinting up at them (his vision had been deteriorating). "Go 'way."

Sanji pursed his lips in irritation. "Can you stand?"

Usopp slowly sat up, only to fall back into bed. He weakly shook his head.

"Okay, here—" Sanji yanked back the blanket and scooped Usopp up. He helped him stand, Usopp weakly clinging to his shoulders. "Come on."

"Should I come?" Luffy said as Usopp licked his lips.

"If you want, but I don't think he's going to crack tonight," Sanji muttered. "I'm just gonna get him to the kitchen. Get yourself to bed."

Luffy nodded, but instead of getting into bed, he followed Sanji and Usopp to the kitchen past the others, who exchanged worried looks before heading into the sleeping quarters.

* * *

"Sit up, there you go . . ."

Luffy helped stop Usopp from falling over on the couch while Sanji went to the sink to grab a glass of water. Usopp kept eyeing Luffy's neck and arms while weakly licking his lips, though he was conscious enough to prevent himself from going in for a bite.

"Dunno if this'll help, but hopefully it'll hydrate a little bit," Sanji muttered, bringing over the water. "Hey, open your mouth. It's just water, I promise."

Luffy gently pried Usopp's lips apart and Sanji slowly tipped the glass, letting the water trickle in. Usopp sputtered at first, but soon caught on and managed to get it down. Sanji lowered the glass once it was empty and Usopp sighed.

"Usopp, can you _please_ have some blood now?" Luffy asked, holding up his arm again. Usopp squinted at it and turned his head away. Luffy looked up at Sanji.

"We'll try tomorrow night," Sanji muttered. "Let's get him back to bed."

* * *

The night and next day passed in a rather subdued atmosphere. No one tried to wake Usopp, who remained limp on his bed.

That evening, Chopper came to Sanji in tears.

"He needs to have a drink," he wailed, clinging to Sanji's leg. "I don't want him to die—I mean, die for real—he's just getting worse, Sanji, please help him—"

"Whoa, hey, calm down," Sanji said, plucking Chopper off of his leg and holding him up. "We're gonna make him drink tonight. Luffy's more than happy to help."

"Okay," Chopper said with a relieved smile. "I'm gonna help!"

"Yes, you are," Sanji said, setting him down again. "Can you help me with getting Usopp in here? And can you get Mossy and Luffy in here after that? Luffy's blood probably won't be enough."

Chopper nodded, his eyes filled with determination.

* * *

"Thir . . . sty," Usopp whispered faintly as Chopper and Sanji dragged him to the kitchen.

"I know," Sanji said softly. "Hang in there."

They got him on the couch. He slumped where he sat. Sanji went to the fridge while Chopper hurried back to the bedroom.

"Got these for later," Sanji explained as Chopper came in, Luffy and Zoro in tow. Sanji had just finished getting out a loaf of bread, some jam, and the juice pitcher.

"I'm ready," Luffy said, bouncing on his feet impatiently.

"Tap out or something when you start getting dizzy," Sanji ordered. "I'm not going to be responsible for another vampire on this ship."

Luffy grinned.

"Luffy, _no_."

"Fine," Luffy mumbled. He went to the couch, sat next to Usopp, and spun him around so he lay limply on top of him.

Usopp made a small noise in his throat as he instinctively opened his mouth and bit down on Luffy's neck. Luffy kept a firm grip on him to keep him from sliding away, though soon he let go, for Usopp seemed to be doing fine holding onto Luffy's shoulders.

The others kept an eye on them. Sanji fiddled with the bread.

Several minutes passed before Luffy's head swayed and he tapped on the couch cushions.

"Okay, switch out," Sanji said. Chopper gently pulled Usopp away from Luffy. Usopp made a small noise of protest, still not quite back to full health. Zoro yanked Luffy up from the couch and switched places, bringing Usopp back in. Usopp latched onto Zoro's neck and began drinking while Chopper helped Luffy sit at the table. Sanji poured out a tall glass of juice and spread some jam over a slice of bread. He brought these to Luffy, who happily started slurping down the juice.

Just as Zoro began to look a bit dizzy, Usopp pulled away and sighed. Zoro gently pushed him off, getting him sitting on the couch again, and stood. Chopper helped him stay on his feet before he sat at the table, where Sanji shoved plain bread and juice over to him.

"Thank the heavens, god, or gods, whoever's up there," Usopp muttered, opening his eyes at last. "I thought I was gonna die . . ."

"How about thanking _us_ instead?" Sanji muttered.

"How do you feel?" Chopper asked, looking over Usopp.

Usopp looked around in mild confusion. When he spotted Zoro and Luffy at the table, chowing down on snacks, he put the pieces together.

"Oh, no," he groaned. He clutched his head. "Come on, I can't've—"

"Yeah, we made you drink our blood," Luffy said bluntly, finishing off his bread and sitting up.

Usopp made a noise like air being let out of a balloon and brought his knees up to his chest.

"Quit complaining, at least you're conscious now," Zoro muttered. "Hey, cook, more bread."

"Where are your manners?" Sanji muttered, though he tossed another slice at Zoro, who caught it in his mouth.

"I'm so sorry, guys," Usopp mumbled. "I didn't want to drink your blood—to—"

"We know, but you had to, that's why we made you," Luffy said cheerfully. "You might've died otherwise, y'know?"

"You know that we don't care you did it, right?" Zoro said. "You're the only one here who has a problem with it."

Usopp hugged his knees tightly. "I didn't want to," he mumbled.

"Did you think we were going to let you die?" Sanji demanded, coming around to the couch. "It was bound to happen sooner or later, Usopp. And now that you've done it, it should be easier in the future, right?"

Usopp nodded glumly. "I still hate it," he muttered. "Wasn't as bad as I thought, but . . ."

Sanji sighed. "You're hopeless, honestly. Don't tell me you would've preferred death."

Usopp shrugged.

"Are you feeling okay now?" Chopper whispered, turning small and climbing up onto the couch.

"Yeah, I'm good," Usopp said quietly. He looked up at Luffy and Zoro, who were just getting ready to leave. "Guys . . . thanks . . ."

They gave him thumbs-ups before heading out with a "Goodnight!"

"You get to bed, too," Usopp said, squeezing Chopper in a hug. "I'm okay."

Chopper grinned and nodded. "G'night!" he called, trotting out the door.

Sanji glanced at Usopp, who was now slowly standing and checking his motor functions and eyesight.

"Don't you ever let yourself get to that point again if you can help it," he said sternly. "Four days max without blood, got it? After that you find a human and drink from them. No exceptions."

"Yes, sir," Usopp mumbled.

Sanji grinned. "You up for a game of cards?"


	100. Valentine's Day Special

**Here we go! Sorry about the wait! Any divergence from canon is to fit the pairing or was at the behest of the requester. **

**Ah, while I did get quite a few requests, there weren't many request_ers_. Next year I'll ask you guys to vote on whether we should do this again before February. **

**Happy V-Day! **

* * *

**Pairing: Franky x WW Robin  
Time: Post-timeskip, Sabaody reunion  
Pair details: Pre-established, known  
Condition: Pre-established, known  
Other non-humans: WW Zoro, WW Luffy, WW Nami  
Requester: ForeverAWSOMEAuraSpaceDragon**

"OW! Who's this beautiful lady before me?!" Franky called, leaping forward onto the Sunny's deck as Robin stood on land nearby. "You're our _super_ archaeologist—my beautiful girl—Robin! Ain't that right?!"

He struck a pose on the deck, holding his chin high, waiting for some kind of reaction while bubbles floated all around them.

When he finally looked back, dropping the pose, he was bowled over by an overexcited Robin.

"Whoa, what?" he exclaimed, seeing her tail out of the corner of his eye wagging harder than he'd ever seen.

"It's been two years," Robin said, smiling brightly. She bent down (still lying on top of Franky) and covered his face in licks and kisses.

"Never seen you so . . . affectionate," Franky said with a dazed smile.

"Less talking, more kissing," she said, nuzzling his neck.

Nami and Usopp found them like this later.

* * *

**Pairing: Franky x WW Robin  
Time: Pre-timeskip, nine members  
Pair details: Pre-established, known  
Condition: Pre-established, known  
Other non-humans: All WW  
Requester: ForeverAWSOMEAuraSpaceDragon**

Franky sat up in his bed yet again. He was unable to sleep tonight. Normally he would have gone out to join watch, or gone down to his workshop . . . but the full moon was out, which meant he had to stay in while the others partied on deck.

Then again . . . it wouldn't be _impossible_ to get to his workshop, would it? If only he could sneak around the crew . . .

He got out of bed and snuck to the window, peering outside. No one in sight.

"Okay," Franky muttered, poking his head out the door and shiftily glancing around. "Coast clear . . . must be around the back . . . now!"

He opened the door and crept across the deck, and he was almost there when a growling made him whip around.

Luffy stood there, eyeing Franky, teeth bared. Zoro appeared behind him, and then Usopp, and Sanji . . . soon enough, every werewolf stood in a pack, ready to spring.

"Shit," Franky muttered.

But just before Luffy sprang, someone behind him jumped in front of the pack, moving quickly to Franky and standing defensively in front of him. Franky was ready to run, but this one did not attack him.

_Don't hurt him,_ Robin growled, staring down the pack.

"Robin?" Franky said in surprise, realizing she wasn't going to tear him apart.

"Franky, what are you doing?!" Chopper yelled as he and Brook finally came around. "Guys, don't hurt him—"

"Franky-_san_, you should go back inside," Brook said nervously. "But . . . Robin-_san_ is . . . ?"

_Robin, what are you doing?_ Luffy growled. _Out of the way! _

_He's my mate,_ Robin snarled, shifting her stance. _Don't hurt him! _

_Mate? _Sanji growled suspiciously. _How can you have a human as your mate? _

Robin hesitated. _Human? But . . . _

She sniffed the air as Franky started backing off again. Usopp growled in warning and Robin turned around, eyes narrowed.

_This human . . . is pretending to be my mate,_ she snarled, baring her teeth. _Unforgivable! _

She leapt, and the others charged forward; Franky dodged and ran back into the men's quarters, slamming the door shut.

"Odd," Brook remarked. "Chopper-_san_?"

Chopper translated what Robin had said while the others calmed down after having lost their target.

Brook chuckled. "I'm sure we can laugh about this tomorrow. Let's try to distract our friends in the meantime . . ."

When lunch came the next day, Franky was immediately berated for going out on deck at such a dangerous time, and his weak explanation of wanting to tinker in his workshop was met with angry retorts. Following this, Luffy and Usopp offered apologies for being hostile.

"So . . . what _was_ that about?" Franky said, glancing at Robin. "Ain't sayin' I'm not grateful I wasn't torn apart, but . . ."

The others smirked at Robin, who looked at the table.

"I . . . it's strange, but I recognized you as my . . . mate . . . before a human," she explained, looking up with an abashed smile. "Once I realized you were human, however . . ."

"Holy shit, that's super sweet," Franky said in awe. He gave her a one-armed hug and a kiss on the cheek, to which Sanji announced there was to be _no_ PDA at the table. Ignoring him, Franky continued, "Does this mean we can chill even when you're transformed?"

"Absolutely not," Robin said frostily. "I was ready to tear you limb-from-limb before you got away. _Never_ do that again."

"Okay," Franky whispered.

* * *

**Pairing: Sanji x WW Nami  
Time: Post-timeskip, up to Dressrosa  
Pair details: Unestablished  
Condition: Pre-established, known  
Other non-humans: WW Zoro, WW Luffy  
Requester: ForeverAWSOMEAuraSpaceDragon**

"I can't _believe_ him," Nami hissed, her tail stiff as she watched Sanji from a distance while he drooled over the mermaids. "You'd think he would've gotten more mature these past two years, but _no_, he's worse than ever . . ."

"I think it's funny," Luffy said cheerfully, his tail wagging lazily as he sat by Nami with Zoro.

"You should probably just _tell_ him," Zoro said, eyeing Nami.

"Tell him—what?" she said, glancing at him.

Zoro glanced to the side and shifted. "You do know we can smell strong emotion, right?"

"So?"

"Jealousy smells like limes and tree sap," Zoro said, looking at her meaningfully. "And I'm getting pretty tired of smelling it around you."

"Oh, is that what that smell is?" Luffy exclaimed. "Nami, that's what you smell like every time Sanji goes nuts over other girls, I've been trying to figure out what it was—"

Nami stormed away, her tail flicking angrily.

"Oh!" Luffy exclaimed. "I get it."

"About time," Zoro muttered.

From that point on, whenever Sanji was flirting with other women, Nami would self-consciously glance at Luffy and Zoro, who gave her stern looks.

"Nami-_san_, my love," Sanji cried on the day they sailed to Dressrosa, bringing her and Robin drinks on the deck, "and Robin-_chan_, dearest, I bring you a fruit drink, made by my own two hands and injected with love!"

"Thank you, Sanji," Robin said with a polite smile.

"Thanks," Nami said. She watched him spin away across the deck.

"Hey," Luffy said next to her. She jumped and glanced at him warily.

He grinned. "Attraction smells like candles and the ocean," he said cheerfully. "That's what Zoro told me. And both you and Sanji smell like that around each other. Did you know that?"

"FINE!" she yelled, startling him, Robin, and Sanji, who turned around in alarm. Nami shot up from her chair, ran across the deck, and slammed Sanji against the wall, kissing him forcefully.

"About time," Zoro said, passing by. Luffy grinned.

"Nami . . . _san_?" Sanji said, staring at her in shock.

"I like you, you idiot!" she yelled. "And god knows _someone's_ gonna get their head bashed in if you don't feel the same way!"

Luffy and Zoro flinched, despite that the threat hadn't been specifically aimed at them, nor had Nami been looking at them.

"Am I dreaming?!" Sanji cried. "This is a dream! Just another dream! This can't be real!"

Nami kissed him again and pulled back. "Does that feel like a dream?! Wake up, stupid!"

"Nami-_san_!" Sanji cried, nearly sobbing with happiness as he hugged her.

"Okay, they're getting gross, I'll be over here," Zoro said, retreating down the stairs. Luffy followed him while Robin returned to her book.

* * *

**Pairing: Vampire Sanji x Usopp  
Time: Pre-timeskip, five members + Vivi  
Pair details: Unestablished  
Condition: Pre-established, known  
Requester: ForeverAWSOMEAuraSpaceDragon**

Usopp didn't know when he'd fallen in love with Sanji. At first, he'd been scared—and who wouldn't? He asked himself—due to Sanji's vampirism. He'd even fended off Sanji with a cross and garlic in the beginning, much to Sanji's annoyance.

But to his surprise, Sanji hadn't been hostile to him in return. If anything, he'd seemed understanding and more kind than with the others, almost on par with how he treated Nami (and now Vivi). He had yet to ask Usopp for blood, and tended to hound Luffy or Zoro every couple days instead.

There was just . . . something about him. The way he moved, the way he talked, the way he acted, his _cooking_ . . .

Usopp knew he couldn't tell Sanji. He didn't know anything about courting a vampire—what if Sanji would have to turn him into a vampire in order for them to be together? Worse, what if Sanji didn't return his feelings? How could he, after all, he swooned over every girl he saw . . .

He'd begun to avoid Sanji, afraid his mind might be read (who knew what kind of weird vampire powers Sanji had?) and his crush discovered. The others gave him odd looks, and it was clear Sanji had started to notice as well, but no one said a thing.

One evening, on their way to Little Garden, Usopp was on watch when he heard the familiar _clack_ing of shoes on the deck and turned around. He squeaked and jumped a foot in the air.

"I won't bite," Sanji said, a touch of amusement in his voice.

"Hi," Usopp said, heat coloring his cheeks.

Sanji narrowed his eyes. "You've been avoiding me."

"No," Usopp lied reflexively.

Sanji folded his arms.

"Maybe."

Sanji eyed him. "Go to the kitchen," he ordered. Usopp was compelled to obey, walking stiffly while his eyes darted around. Sanji followed behind, keeping his gaze trained at Usopp's back.

They entered the kitchen; Sanji turned on a light, turning away from Usopp, who remained inside despite regaining control over his limbs.

"Sit with me?" Sanji said, not looking at Usopp. They sat across from each other at the table.

Sanji sighed and looked up. "Why have you been avoiding me?"

Usopp gulped and looked down.

"Is it because I'm a vampire?"

Did he sound hurt?

"No, not—that is, partially, but—not really?" Usopp whispered.

Sanji crossed his arms and eyed Usopp up and down.

"Did you know," he said, punctuating each word carefully, "that vampires . . . can force someone to speak the truth?"

Usopp shivered. "Can they?" he whispered, looking away.

Sanji lifted his bangs just enough to show his left eye. "Look me in the eyes," he ordered.

Usopp looked up and they locked eyes.

"Tell me why you've been avoiding me," Sanji commanded, never breaking his gaze.

Usopp's hands shook and he opened his mouth. "I've been . . . avoiding you . . ." he said, each word dragged out, "because . . . I was scared."

"Scared of what?"

"R—Rejection," Usopp mumbled. "Or . . . being turned . . . into . . . a vampire."

"W-What—" Sanji swallowed. "Tell me what you mean by rejection."

Usopp hesitated.

"Usopp, tell me what you mean by rejection."

"I . . . l-love you," Usopp said, his voice shaking. "But . . . you like women. . . . I thought . . . if I told you . . . you would hate me . . . or turn me . . . into a vampire."

Sanji dropped his bangs and looked down, breaking his gaze. Usopp gasped and hid his face in his arms.

"Shit, really?" Sanji mumbled.

"I'm sorry," Usopp said in a muffled squeak.

"Geez, Usopp . . . and here I didn't think you liked men."

"I like girls, too," Usopp mumbled as if offended. "But . . . I like you . . . I'm sorry!"

"No, you misunderstand," Sanji said gently. "Hey, lift your head."

It was not an order, but Usopp did so anyway.

"What I meant was, I didn't think you liked me back," Sanji said, his ears pink in the dim light.

"Back?"

"You're pretty cute, is what I'm saying," Sanji said, glancing to the side.

Usopp's eyes looked like they might pop out of his head. "_You_ like _men_—?!"

"I like you."

Usopp's eyes began watering. "Then . . . ?"

"And I don't care if there was some rule that says vampires can only date other vampires," Sanji added. "I wouldn't make you into one even if I knew how if you didn't want me to."

"Oh."

Sanji grinned and patted Usopp's head. "Wanna go steady?"

Usopp stared at him, his lip trembling.

"Don't cry."

Usopp sniffled loudly. "Yes," he whispered, smiling.

Sanji leaned across the table and hugged Usopp's neck in that awkward position.

"By the way," he said, leaning back, "vampires can't actually make someone say something against their will, as far as I know."

Usopp stared at him. "Wait, what?" His eyes widened. "Then you mean—?!"

"You said all that stuff of your own volition."

Usopp stood, came around the table, and punched Sanji in the chest.

"Don't mess with me like that!" he cried, flailing against Sanji's chest while Sanji stood still and let him. "You bastard! Asshole! Jerk!"

He gave up when Sanji hugged him around the middle.

* * *

**Pairing: Vampire Zoro x WW Luffy  
Time: Pre-timeskip, during W7 afterparty  
Pair details: Pre-established, known  
Conditions: Pre-established, known only to each other  
Requester: phonenix**

"Stop!" Luffy exclaimed.

Nami and Chopper hesitated, turning around as they went for the door to find Usopp.

"Stop," Zoro ordered, eyeing them both. They froze briefly and Zoro looked away.

"Don't go looking for him," Luffy said sternly. "He needs to man up and come to _us_. He's not gonna come back unless he apologizes."

Zoro nodded. "He's not going to learn anything if we come to him. Leave him be."

"Fine," Nami said, moving away from the door. Chopper reluctantly did the same. "I guess that makes sense."

"I miss him," Chopper whispered.

"But, Zoro . . ." Nami glanced at him. "Did you do something?"

"Huh?"

"When you told us to stop . . . I felt like I really couldn't move," Nami said, eyeing him suspiciously.

"So it wasn't just me?" Chopper exclaimed.

"Shit," Zoro muttered. Luffy glanced to the side and whistled.

"You two are mighty suspicious all of a sudden," Sanji remarked.

"You're suspicious all by yourself," Zoro snapped, glaring at him.

"Your eyes turned red again, Zoro," Robin noted. Zoro looked away.

"Speaking of eyes, Luffy," Sanji said, looking to him now, "you never did tell us the real reason why your eyes turned yellow."

Luffy looked up. "I _did_ tell you . . . it was the sun . . ."

"Yeah, but we all knew that was bullshit, we just couldn't think of a better reason," Sanji snapped.

"Oh, it was a lie?" Chopper exclaimed.

"Well, most of us knew."

"Could this have something to do with why you two spent two nights, each a month apart, together in the crow's nest?" Robin asked.

They stiffened.

"I thought so."

"Oh, they weren't just making out on watch?" Nami said in surprise.

"You expect me to make out with him when he's like _that_?!" Zoro exclaimed in disgust. "The most that happens is face-licking!"

"Too much information," Sanji snapped, making a face. Zoro's eyes widened, realizing what he'd said, and he looked away.

"'When he's like that' . . . like what?" Chopper asked, staring up at Zoro and Luffy curiously.

Luffy laughed. "Well, I think we might as well tell them, unless you wanna erase everyone's memory, Zoro."

"Excuse me?" Sanji said.

Zoro groaned. "_Thanks_, Luffy."

Luffy shrugged. "I guess it was bound to come out sooner or later. I'm a werewolf and Zoro's a vampire."

Nami and Chopper screamed. Sanji stared at Luffy and Zoro incredulously. A flash of understanding passed across Robin's face before she looked rather amused.

"That actually explains a lot," Sanji said at last. "But why—?"

"Oh, well, we ended up turning around the same time," Luffy piped up, reaching down the back of his pants and pulling out his tail (which the others stared at in surprise), "and Zoro didn't wanna tell you guys, but I was okay with it, but I thought it wasn't fair for Zoro to have to keep a secret by himself, so I figured we'd both keep our stuff secret." He grinned. "He kept me company while I turned into a wolf! It was really fun!"

"Like I said, the most that happens is he licks my face a lot," Zoro clarified.

Nami stared at Luffy's tail, lazily wagging.

"Okay," she said. "But, Zoro, if you're a vampire . . ."

"I _may_ have taken blood from some of you guys."

Nami and Chopper screamed and covered their necks while Sanji started aiming kicks at Zoro's head. Zoro ordered him to stop and Sanji was forced to obey, muttering a string of curses instead.

"I swear I didn't want to," he protested. "And Chopper, calm down, I can only have human blood. I put you guys to sleep afterwards right away, so there was no real danger."

"That's fine and all," Robin said pleasantly, "but as for me, I would have been happy to let you drink from me if only you'd asked."

"Sorry," Zoro muttered.

"Well, if it was to feed you, I don't mind too much," Sanji said as Zoro finally let him move again.

Luffy laughed. "I'd let Zoro drink from me, but I'm a werewolf, so he can't have my blood," he explained cheerfully. "Also, it's a good thing we were on watch together the first night I transformed, otherwise I would've attacked you guys!"

"Don't say it so casually!" Nami shrieked.

"This does explain why you lick Zoro's face instead of kissing him," Robin commented.

"I _am_ kissing," Luffy said, tilting his head like a puppy.

"Zoro, your debt's going up five hundred percent for all the times you took my blood without permission," Nami snapped.

"That's not fair!"

. . .

Usopp, after rejoining the crew, learned of Luffy's and Zoro's afflictions after asking about Luffy's tail. He'd initially screamed, but upon seeing Luffy's tail droop, quickly reasserted himself and insisted he _wasn't_ scared.

* * *

**Pairing: WW Zoro x Luffy  
Time: Pre-timeskip, nine members  
Pair details: Pre-established, known  
Condition: Pre-established, unknown  
Requester: Lew**

"Zoro?" Luffy whispered, climbing up to the crow's nest. "Are you okay? You were sleeping a lot earlier, I thought I should check on you—"

He was knocked back to the deck by something big and heavy. Both of them straightened up, and Luffy looked to see a green-furred wolf with yellow eyes, boxers hanging loose on the hindquarters.

"Huh?" he exclaimed, the initial delight at discovering a new canine friend fading.

The wolf sniffed the air, stared at Luffy, hesitated (_Mate?_), and then charged and leapt at him. Luffy dodged just in time.

"Zoro?" he said cautiously.

Zoro snarled, baring sharp teeth. Luffy narrowed his eyes.

"Oh," he murmured. "Zoro, don't worry. I'm not gonna let you hurt me."

Luffy cracked his knuckles and aimed a strong punch at Zoro's head as Zoro sprang again. He crashed to the deck, unmoving.

Luffy knelt and checked him, sighing in relief when he found Zoro only unconscious. He picked him up and threw him up to the crow's nest, following shortly after.

He looked around and his eyes lit up when he spotted rope hanging on the wall. A few minutes later and he'd tightly tied up Zoro, leaving him lying on the floor. After dragging a weight over the entrance, Luffy sat leaning against the wall opposite Zoro, glancing at him every so often.

Zoro awoke within the hour and whined as he struggled to get out of the ropes. He spotted Luffy and snarled again.

"Hi, Zoro," Luffy said with a patient grin. "I guess . . . you're a werewolf?"

Zoro hesitated at his words before trying to move again.

"I mean, this must be your first time transforming, huh?" Luffy added. "'Cause the entrance was uncovered, and you wouldn't've put us in danger on purpose."

He stared at Zoro, who ignored his words this time and whined loudly, scrabbling at the floor.

"This isn't fair!" Luffy exclaimed suddenly, startling Zoro. "I really wanna pet you! You look so fluffy! But you'll probably eat me if I get too close!"

He was met with another growl.

"Fine, we'll talk in the morning," Luffy muttered. He folded his arms and leaned back against the wall comfortably.

Luffy awoke several hours later to find Zoro sitting up, head bowed. Zoro turned and saw him.

"Luffy?" he said hoarsely.

"Hey," Luffy said, grinning broadly. He crawled forward and tugged off the loose ropes. "Are you okay?"

"Are _you_ okay?"

"I'm always okay."

Zoro looked down. "I'm . . . I'm so sorry."

"Nah, it wasn't your fault," Luffy said. He grinned. "And you're a werewolf! That's really cool!"

"I was ready to kill you . . ."

"That wasn't really you, so shut up," Luffy said, kissing him. "Let's go tell the others what happened."

Zoro slowly stood and went to put on his clothes.

"Zoro?"

"I'd rather not tell them."

"Why?"

Zoro shook his head. "They don't need to know, do they? And I wouldn't want them to be scared of . . ."

He trailed off as he straightened out his shirt. Luffy's expression was unreadable.

"Luffy?"

"Okay," Luffy said quietly, standing. "I don't like it, but if that's what you want . . ."

"Thanks," Zoro murmured. He yawned widely. "I'm exhausted . . ."

"You wanna sleep up here? I can tell the others you're napping," Luffy offered.

"Yeah," Zoro said sleepily. "Thanks . . ."

Luffy stood on tiptoes and kissed Zoro's nose. Zoro licked Luffy's nose, to the surprise of both.

"You're like a dog now?" Luffy said in wonder.

Zoro looked away, embarrassed.

"Okay, we'll hang out later," Luffy said cheerfully, looking in fascination at Zoro's twitching tail. "Go back to sleep."

Luckily for Zoro, the others didn't seem to care that his eyes had suddenly turned yellow. In private, he confessed to Luffy that his nose was more sensitive, the colors he saw weren't quite right, and he had to stifle urges to growl. Luffy had responded by scratching Zoro's ears, and Zoro, growing quiet almost instantly, had lain his head in Luffy's lap, eventually falling asleep.

"Does it hurt?" Luffy asked Zoro one time.

"Does what hurt?"

"When you transformed. Did it hurt?"

". . . Yeah. Nothing I can't handle."

Luffy stared at him. "Do you think you'd attack someone who's not human when you're transformed? Like another werewolf?"

"Hard to say. I don't think so."

"Hm . . ."

When Luffy went to Robin wearing a very serious expression and asking about werewolves, she was surprised but polite, and told him Yes, Luffy, a werewolf is supposedly created when they're bitten by another werewolf. Luffy thanked her and went on his way with a determined expression.

The following full moon found Luffy helping Zoro get up to the crow's nest after telling the others he and Zoro would be taking watch together that night.

"I might have to kick or punch you or something," Luffy said. "Sorry."

"As long as you don't get hurt, it's all fine," Zoro murmured. He shivered as the moon rose and looked at Luffy. "Hey . . . get out of here. It's gonna happen . . . any second."

Luffy folded his arms and remained standing.

"Luffy," Zoro said, standing and gripping Luffy's shoulders weakly. "What are you doing . . . ? Get out . . ."

Luffy grinned. "Don't worry. I'll be okay."

"_Luffy_—"

Zoro's hands dropped to his torso and he fell to his knees with a spasm. Luffy stepped back and turned his head, knowing Zoro wouldn't want him to watch.

When he looked back, Zoro had transformed, and was standing. He spotted Luffy, hesitated, and then snarled.

"Okay, here goes," Luffy muttered. He jumped aside as Zoro sprang and pinned him to the ground with a foot in his side. Zoro whined and Luffy knelt.

"Here," Luffy said, sticking his hand into Zoro's face. With a fierce growl, Zoro clamped his jaw around Luffy's hand.

Luffy winced and hit Zoro's muzzle, forcing him to let go. He kicked Zoro into the wall with another quick apology and jumped out of the crow's nest, covering the entrance behind him with a weight as he did so.

"That was close," he said to himself as he landed on deck, just before he fainted dead away.

Morning came and Luffy turned to see Zoro storming towards him.

"What were you _thinking_?" he hissed, his hands balled into fists, bags under his eyes. "You got yourself bitten _on purpose_, is your hand even okay? What in the world was that all about, you idiot?"

Luffy smiled. "You shouldn't have to go through this alone," he said, holding up his hand, still scabbing over. "Now we're in this together."

Zoro's shoulders slumped. "You're a goddamn moron."

Luffy hugged him. "Let's go to bed."

Nami took watch the next month and, despite being suspicious that Luffy and Zoro had slept the day away and now requested she leave them be in the crow's nest that night, agreed to let them have their way.

"It's going to hurt," Zoro murmured, dragging a weight over the entrance.

"That's fine," Luffy said, removing his clothes and shivering. "I'm r-ready."

Transformed, the two awoke and looked at each other suspiciously.

_Mate . . . ?_ Luffy growled.

_You . . . my mate? _Zoro growled, sniffing him.

Luffy licked Zoro's face, his tail wagging. Zoro did the same and they pressed their sides together briefly.

* * *

**Pairing: Vampire Zoro x WW Sanji  
Time: Pre-timeskip, nine members  
Pair details: Pre-established, known  
Conditions: Pre-established, known  
Requester: Ashlielle**

"Zoro?" Usopp said, looking back. They were on a night hike on the island, Usopp having resignedly come along at Zoro's request.

Zoro was crouched over a patch of blue and violet flowers. He poked them.

"Do you think he'd like these?" he muttered.

"Huh?" Usopp said, coming over and squatting to peer at the flora.

"Do you think he'd like these?"

"Who, Sanji?"

A nod.

Usopp scratched his head. "Flowers are more Robin's thing, but . . . he'd probably appreciate the gesture. I mean, I dunno what his favorite flower is, anyway . . . do you?"

"It never came up, funnily enough," Zoro said. He pulled up the flowers and stood. "I guess it's worth a shot."

"Well, at least you're _trying_ to be romantic," Usopp muttered under his breath. Zoro eyed him and Usopp looked away.

Just before daybreak, Zoro carried Usopp and the flowers to the men's room (Usopp had fallen asleep when they'd stopped for a break). He dumped Usopp into bed and went over to Sanji.

"Wake up," he said, shaking him. Sanji blearily opened his eyes and sat up, his glare softening when he saw Zoro.

"Something wrong?" he mumbled, yawning.

"Got these for you," Zoro said, shoving the flowers at him. "You like?"

Sanji took the flowers in surprise and inhaled. He quickly pinched his nose.

"No good?"

"Not at all," Sanji said, smiling. "I love them. Who knew you were capable of being so nice?"

"Yeah, uh . . . whatever," Zoro muttered, looking away and rubbing the back of his neck. "I'll get to bed. See you this evening."

"I'll get started on breakfast," Sanji said, standing with the flowers clutched in his hands. As he left the room, Zoro smiled when he saw his tail wagging.

While serving breakfast, Sanji had to turn away and sneeze several times, apologizing.

"Something bothering your nose?" Franky asked.

Sanji sniffed and shrugged.

"It couldn't be those flowers?" Robin said, gesturing to the bouquet in the small vase.

"That . . . could be true. I'm not denying it," Sanji mumbled with an awkward smile.

"Why not get rid of them?" Nami said. "They're not even all that pretty."

"Nami-_san_, I couldn't!" Sanji exclaimed. "They're . . ."

"Oh, it's because Zoro gave them to him," Usopp exclaimed in understanding, yawning.

A chorus of "Oh's" came from the others. Sanji looked away.

That evening, when Zoro came out to meet Sanji on deck for a joint watch, he found Sanji's eyes and nose red and watering.

"You okay?" he said in surprise.

Sanji sniffled and nodded. "Just fine," he said, taking a deep breath of the clean air.

Zoro narrowed his eyes. "It wasn't . . . the flowers, was it?"

Caught off-guard, Sanji nodded, his tail drooping.

"So it was? You should've gotten rid of them, you idiot, don't keep something that makes you ill!"

"The scent was just stronger than I thought," Sanji snapped. "Besides, I didn't want to get rid of such a nice gift—from you!"

A pause.

"You're still an idiot," Zoro said, pulling Sanji forward by his shoulder and kissing his forehead. "You're not getting any more flowers from me unless they're fake."

"I still like them," Sanji said stubbornly, though his tail was curled up slightly and he licked Zoro's ear as if on instinct.

"I'm throwing them overboard."

"You're such an asshole!"

* * *

**Pairing: Franky x Vampire Robin  
Time: Pre-timeskip, nine members  
Pair details: Pre-established, known  
Condition: Pre-established, known  
Other non-humans: Vampire Sanji  
Requester: ForeverAWSOMEAuraSpaceDragon**

More often than not, Robin would come down to Franky's workshop in the day, covered carefully by blankets, and join him while he worked on whatever new project he was starting. She slept at a bench close by, shoulders and back covered by one or two blankets to keep her warm. If ever Franky needed a nap, he'd set aside his tools and sit across from her, soon falling asleep.

"We can't have children."

It was on one of these days that Franky glanced over to Robin as she said this, suddenly sitting up as her eyes focused.

"Come again?"

"Oh . . . sorry, I was half-asleep," Robin murmured.

Franky brushed aside some hair from her face. "What was that about kids, though?"

"I just realized . . . we can't have children. I thought you should know."

"Well, yeah, but what brought that up?"

Robin shrugged. "It just came to mind that . . . since I'm like this . . . I can't bear children. And since we're dating, you should know that."

Franky grinned. "Hey, don't worry about it. I'm, uh . . . kinda barren down there too, y'know?"

"Oh?"

Franky scratched his head. "I guess making myself into a cyborg messed with my system in more ways than one. Chopper told me after a checkup once I joined up."

Robin smiled. "I see. Are you . . . were you disappointed when you found out?"

Franky shrugged. "I wasn't exactly planning on a girlfriend anytime soon, at least before I met you, but I wouldn't say 'disappointed.' How about you?"

Robin shrugged in turn. "I wouldn't say 'disappointed' either. But, this way . . . I can't become pregnant accidentally, and . . . I can't have a child who would be targeted by the Government solely due to parentage."

Her smile was rather bitter and Franky knelt at the table so they were eye-to-eye. "Hey," he said seriously. "Don't think about that, okay? 'Sides, we've already got kids, and they aren't being targeted because of us."

Robin squinted at him. "We do? Why wasn't I informed?"

Franky gestured to the deck as they heard Luffy yell, "Sanji, make me food!" to which Sanji snapped back that he'd been _sleeping_, and don't drag him into the sun; Zoro muttered something and Sanji began yelling again, telling Zoro to get to the kitchen so he could kick his ass. Nami said something and Sanji calmed down instantly.

"I see what you mean," Robin said at last, smiling and resting her head in her arms. "Go take care of them. They need a dad right now."

"Yeah, yeah, I'll grab you a pillow on the way back," Franky said, standing. He bent over the table, kissed the top of her head, and left to pacify the others.

* * *

**Pairing: Vampire Sanji x WW Nami  
Time: Pre-timeskip, six members + Vivi  
Pair details: Pre-established, known  
Conditions: Pre-established, known  
Requester: ForeverAWSOMEAuraSpaceDragon**

"Nami-_san_?"

Nami glanced up. She and Sanji had been napping on the small kitchen couch together. It was a snug but cozy fit.

"What?" she muttered.

"Sorry, I . . ." Sanji hesitated. "Well, I don't want to be rude . . ."

"Spit it out so we can get back to sleep. You need it more than me anyway."

Sanji smiled. "I . . . well, I'm a tad sensitive to the smell of blood . . . when it's close by."

"And?"

"I haven't . . . sensed it from you . . . ever since you started transforming." He glanced away. "So, I was thinking, if you needed a checkup from Chopper . . ."

"You mean you don't think I've had my period since I got bitten."

Sanji nodded, his face flushed with embarrassment.

"Yeah, I noticed, too," Nami said. "Probably sooner than you. It's my body, after all."

"Of course, but—"

"Sanji-_kun_, that book we found said vampires can't have kids, right?"

Sanji nodded.

"Then it stands to reason werewolves might be the same way." Her tail thumped on the couch. "I promise I'll get Chopper to look if we can't find a book or something to confirm after another month, okay?"

Sanji frowned. "What does . . . _that_ . . . have to do with having children?"

Nami stared at him. "Sanji-_kun_, how much do you know about the female body?"

Sanji hesitated. "I know . . . it's beautiful," he said lamely.

"I'll explain later, stupid," Nami muttered, rolling her eyes. "Either way, I guess we're not having kids anytime soon."

"Damn it," Sanji muttered under his breath.

"Well, we already have a family, don't we?"

Sanji hesitated.

"I suppose so . . . but those guys are more like siblings or cousins than our children."

Nami grimaced at the very idea and they shared a laugh.

"Hey, Sanji!" Luffy yelled, choosing that moment to burst through the door. "When's dinner?"

"Be careful, you moron, don't let the light in!" Sanji hissed. "Dinner's not for another hour! Go play outside!"

"Okay! Have fun sleeping together, you guys!"

"DON'T SAY IT LIKE THAT!" Nami yelled, throwing her shoe at his head. He retreated and shut the door.

"Back to sleep, then," Sanji said, kissing Nami's neck softly.

"Mm," she murmured, licking his cheek. "Get as much as you can before he comes back."

He'd already snuggled into her neck and shut his eyes.

* * *

**Pairing: WW Zoro x Vampire Sanji**  
**Time: Pre-timeskip, nine members**  
**Pair details: Pre-established, known**  
**Conditions: Pre-established, known**  
**Requester: ForeverAWSOMEAuraSpaceDragon**

"You know . . ." Zoro shifted where he lay. "A bed or a coffin would probably be comfier, wouldn't it?"

"Shut up," Sanji muttered. He and Zoro were on the deck; the sun shone faintly through clouds, so Sanji hadn't needed too much sunscreen that afternoon. His head rested on Zoro's chest. "No coffin onboard and you're warm."

"Hm."

"Not to mention your heartbeat is . . ." Sanji trailed off and adjusted himself, eyes still shut. "It's nice."

"Can't say the same for you."

"'Course not, that's the point. But it's just what makes me more attractive."

Zoro sat up, sending Sanji tumbling to the deck. Sanji sat up, eyes half-open in annoyance.

"The hell was that for?" Sanji muttered.

"What was that about being attractive?" Zoro growled.

Sanji squinted at him. "Haven't you read any romantic fiction?"

"I'm not into that kind of stuff."

"I guess it's mostly geared to ladies . . . anyway, vampires are usually portrayed as cool, mysterious lovers."

"Mm-hm," Zoro muttered. "And what about werewolves?"

Sanji smirked and shrugged. "Haven't yet found one where the werewolf isn't an aggressive, controlling jerk."

A snarl began building in Zoro's throat. "Well, if you think you're so much _better_ than me, why not go find someone up to your _standards_?"

"Because _you're_ the one who lets me nap on his chest."

The snarl faded and Zoro lay back down after a moment.

"And you may not be the best-looking, but you can be sweet when you want to be." Sanji lay down and settled on Zoro's chest. "Just don't get a big head because you're the only guy I've ever liked—_that_ way."

"Mm." Zoro, already half-asleep, gently licked the top of Sanji's head. Sanji started scratching his ears and Zoro's tail thumped once as he lazily closed his eyes with a sigh.

* * *

**Thanks so much for all y'all who sent in request(s)! **

**We'll be returning to regular updates/requests later this week! **

**Ah, and speaking of which, I wanted to mention (if this wasn't clear, or if I haven't mentioned this already) that I'm trying to keep these chapters in the anime timeframe. You can absolutely request things involving (as of now) manga-only events, but they won't be written/published until they're shown in the anime. **

**Oh, and I couldn't include this in the regular story because reasons, but I did a bonus chapter on tumblr for ForeverAWSOMEAuraSpaceDragon with Werewolf Brook! Ask me for the link if you're interested! **


	101. Modern-Day: WW Luffy and Vampire Sanji 1

**I've opened up commissions! Check out the details on my profile if you're interested! **

**Non-humans: WW Luffy, Vampire Sanji **

**Modern AU **

* * *

Sanji was ready to fall asleep on the bus when Luffy tried greeting him as he and Usopp sat adjacent from him. He squinted at Luffy and muttered, "Don't . . . talk to me."

As Usopp made Luffy stay still and got him to leave Sanji alone, Sanji squinted at Luffy a moment longer. There was something off about him, but . . . what was it . . . ?

Maybe he was imagining it. He _was_ tired.

* * *

Lunchtime found Sanji grumpily following Usopp and Luffy to sit with the others. As he did so, he shook his head to wake himself up and greeted them politely.

When he looked back at Luffy, he frowned.

"What's wrong?" Luffy said, tilting his head.

Sanji folded his arms and glanced between Luffy and the others, comparing.

"You're . . ." he muttered. "I can't be imagining it, can I . . . ?"

"What's up?" Zoro said, looking at Luffy. "Oh, hey, are you wearing contacts?"

"Yeah, he is," Usopp said as Luffy hid a guilty look. Sanji raised an eyebrow, catching notice of Luffy's yellow eyes.

"Is that what you're staring at?" Chopper said to Sanji curiously.

Sanji shook his head. "Luffy, right? You can't be another . . . ? I haven't seen you around, but . . ."

"What the heck are you talking about?" Luffy said, shifting in his seat nervously and glancing around. He frowned when he noticed Zoro's and Nami's hair.

"Hey, Zoro, did you dye your hair?" he said curiously. "And Nami too?"

"No," they said simultaneously.

"Why would I dye my hair?" Zoro said. "It's perfect."

Sanji snickered and Zoro shot him a glare.

"Oh, never mind," Luffy said, glancing up at the ceiling. He glanced back at Sanji. "Uh . . . is your hair blond?"

"Yes," Sanji said. "Are you going to tell me what your deal is?"

"Why are you harassing Luffy?" Nami said sternly.

"What? I—I'm not _harassing_, he's just not answering my—" Sanji waved his arms, trying to defend himself.

Luffy eyed Sanji, his nose twitching. He suddenly frowned and leaned in, sniffing Sanji's face and neck closely.

"What now?" Usopp muttered. "Luffy, don't be weird, there's this thing called 'first impressions,' you should probably learn about that—"

Luffy leaned back and stared at Sanji in awe. "What _are_ you?" he exclaimed, grinning.

"That's what I was trying to ask _you_," Sanji snapped, though he swallowed nervously.

"Is there some secret convention I missed?" Zoro demanded.

"Ah, well, you guys were probably gonna find out sooner or later," Luffy said, looking down. "See, I'm a werewolf now."

"Oh, that's why you have yellow eyes," Sanji murmured while Usopp scooted a foot away. Chopper's eyes were round and curious while Zoro and Nami just looked skeptical.

"I guess the only way to prove it would be to transform or take out my tail, but it's not the full moon and Ace and Sabo told me to keep my tail tucked in, so I can't really do either of those things," Luffy explained, rocking back and forth. "And, um, I'm also colorblind now. Zoro, Nami, you guys look like you're blond."

"Is that so?" Zoro said, looking like he might believe it.

"Luffy, you aren't serious, are you?" Usopp whispered.

Luffy looked back at the table. "I'm . . . not dangerous, I promise," he said quietly. "I know you don't like werewolves and vampires and stuff, and I _guess_ I'm dangerous on full moons, but I'm always locked up when that happens, except—the first time—when Ace and Sabo were—Usopp, guys, you don't hate me, do you?"

He looked up hopefully.

"No, Luffy, we don't hate you," Nami said gently. Usopp nodded and patted his shoulder.

"I've never met a werewolf before, but I know _you_, and we're friends!" Chopper exclaimed. "So . . ."

"I mean, it doesn't really matter one way or another," Zoro said, shrugging.

Luffy grinned and turned to Sanji. "Okay, your turn!"

"Yeah, how'd you know Luffy was a werewolf?" Zoro said suspiciously. "We've known him for years and we couldn't tell."

"I didn't know he was a _werewolf_, per se," Sanji protested, rubbing the back of his neck. "I could just tell he wasn't human."

"Yeah, I can tell you aren't human, either," Luffy said bluntly. "My nose is really good now, and everyone smells different, and you don't smell like a human."

"Is that so?" Nami said, eyeing Sanji as Usopp leaned back.

Sanji sighed. "I didn't want to tell anyone, but . . . I'm a vampire."

"That's even WORSE!" Usopp shrieked, falling out of his seat. Chopper hurried over to help him up.

Sanji gestured to him. "That's why I wasn't going to say anything. I'll leave if you'd like."

"No, hold up, this is interesting," Zoro said, ignoring Usopp's reaction and eyeing Sanji. "I guess if werewolves are real, a vampire isn't too far of a stretch, and you _are_ pretty pasty, but . . . ?"

"I have an idea," Nami said. She reached into her shirt, pulled out the cross charm on her necklace, and shoved it near Sanji's face. He spotted it and flinched away, falling out of his seat. No one helped him up.

"You scared?" Nami said, shoving it closer. Sanji scrambled away. "Of this little thing?"

"Please put that away," Sanji whispered, eyeing the cross nervously.

Nami tucked it back into her shirt and Sanji got back to the table, dusting himself off.

"You're a pansy," Zoro muttered.

"Shut it," Sanji hissed, glaring at him, and Zoro found himself unable to speak. He stared at Sanji indignantly and gestured to his throat.

"Zoro, can you not talk now?" Chopper whispered.

Zoro shook his head and flipped off Sanji.

"I'm not freeing you if you're going to be rude," Sanji snapped, eyes glowing red.

"Your eye's . . . red," Usopp whispered.

"Sanji, would you let Zoro speak again?" Nami said sweetly.

"Of course," Sanji exclaimed. He relinquished his hold and Zoro spat a curse at him.

"Whoa, that's really cool," Luffy exclaimed in delight. "Vampires are awesome!"

"This has been the weirdest day ever," Nami muttered.

Sanji smiled awkwardly. "I was half-expecting you all to run, but . . . if it's okay, I'd like to still hang out. I can't say I'll be the best socializer, since I'm nocturnal . . ."

"Of course you can stay," Luffy exclaimed immediately. Nami, Zoro, and Chopper gave him nods, Chopper with a half-nervous, half-fascinated glance (having concluded Sanji was not out to get them). Everyone looked at Usopp.

Usopp gulped. "I . . . I'm still scared of vampires . . . and werewolves," he admitted. "But . . . Luffy, I know you, and . . . Sanji, you don't seem like a bad guy . . . so I'll try not to be scared."

"That means a lot," Sanji said. "Thanks."

"Thanks, Usopp!" Luffy exclaimed, hugging him tightly. Zoro noticed something moving in his pants but did not comment.

"How'd it happen for both of you?" Chopper said, curious as ever.

Luffy frowned. "Grampa took me n' Ace n' Sabo on vacation, and I got attacked. That's about it . . ." He pulled up his pant leg to show the thick scars on his calf.

"Oh, geez," Usopp muttered. "It looks like it healed good, at least . . ."

Luffy grinned. "Yeah, we got to a hospital quick!" He looked at Sanji expectantly.

Sanji shrugged. "I was on a walk, couldn't sleep . . . and some devil-worshipping fanatics tried to use me as a sacrifice. I guess magic is real, since that's what they fucked up to make me like this."

"Whoa, that's _way_ cooler than my story," Luffy exclaimed.

"A _sacrifice_?" Nami said.

Sanji nodded. "They were actually going to kill me when the police showed up."

"Buncha freaks," Zoro muttered.

"I mean, they did kind of succeed," Sanji added as an afterthought. "I think I'm technically dead."

"Oh, that must be part of what I smelled," Luffy said.

"I wouldn't know."

"Real quick," Usopp said, raising his hand. "Don't drink my blood. Ever."

"I won't unless it's an emergency," Sanji promised.

Usopp swallowed nervously. "Okay."

"You come for my neck and I'll give you something to bite on," Nami said, tugging on her necklace threateningly. Sanji nodded.

"You can drink my blood anytime," Luffy said eagerly.

Sanji shook his head. "I'm pretty sure only human blood is sustaining," he explained. "Which _would_ explain why I can tell on sight now . . ."

"Aw."

* * *

Sanji slept on the bus ride back home, leaving Luffy disappointed. He woke up in time to get off at his stop and halfheartedly waved before he hopped off and trudged down the street.

"Today was a cool day," Luffy said cheerfully when he and Usopp got off at their own stop. "Right?"

Usopp shrugged.

"I'm really sorry you got scared," Luffy said, his smile fading. "But Sanji promised not to touch you, and I promise not to bite, and I'm locked up on full moons, so . . ."

"I guess . . ." Usopp took in a deep breath. "I guess it's stupid of me to be scared at all. I've known you god knows how many years . . . you're not dangerous."

Luffy grinned again. "There you go! I'll show you my tail next time we're not outside!"

"That sounds neat," Usopp said, brightening. "I'm gonna go inside now. See you tomorrow?"

"Yeah! I gotta go see Ace and Sabo, I've missed them _all day_—see you later!" Luffy waved, walking backwards until he was out of sight.

* * *

"So, I met a werewolf and told some people I'm a vampire," Sanji announced, dropping his backpack to the kitchen floor.

Zeff looked up. "Pardon?"

* * *

"Okay, yes, hello," Sabo said, gently pushing Luffy off of him. Ace entered the room and Luffy tackled him to the ground as well.

"Oh, by the way, guys, I met a cool vampire and my friends know I'm a werewolf now," Luffy announced cheerfully, his tail wagging.

Ace and Sabo glanced at each other.

"You know what?" Ace said. "Why don't you tell us about that over a snack."

* * *

**We'll continue next chapter! **


	102. Modern-Day: WW Luffy and Vampire Sanji 2

**To guest Sylviana: Thank you for reviewing! I wasn't planning on continuing Adventures of WW Luffy unless by request, but even if I end up doing that with Dressrosa, it won't be until that arc has concluded in the anime. **

**Continuing from last chapter...! **

**To reiterate, there is _no_ romance in this AU. **

**Non-humans: WW Luffy, Vampire Sanji **

**Modern AU **

* * *

"Is Luffy sick?" Nami said, looking around the cafeteria. "Where is he? Usopp?"

Usopp shrugged. "He wasn't on the bus . . ."

"Maybe tonight's the full moon," Sanji remarked, chin in his arms. "It _was_ pretty round last night . . ."

"Oh, no," Chopper whispered. "Poor Luffy . . ."

"Someone should check on him, just in case," Usopp said nervously.

The others looked at him.

"What?"

"You live the closest to him," Zoro said.

"You've got the same bus stop, even," Sanji added, yawning.

"If you really want to check on him, you'll have to do it yourself," Nami said.

"Oh," Usopp murmured. "Good point. Okay."

He looked at Sanji hopefully, but Sanji was facedown on the table, unmoving.

"Are you okay?" Chopper said, leaning over to shake Sanji's shoulder. Sanji sat up, squinting.

"Uh? I'm fine," he mumbled. "Just sleepy."

He put his head back down.

* * *

Usopp's knock upon Luffy's front door was answered after a few seconds. The door swung open.

"Hey, A—u-um, Ace," Usopp said. He winced. "Sorry—"

"Don't worry about it," Ace muttered, pursing his lips. "What's up?"

"Well, uh . . . can I see Luffy?"

Ace raised an eyebrow. "How come?"

"He's . . . tonight, he's gonna . . . y'know . . . isn't he?"

"Yes, he's going to transform," Ace said. "You can see him if you want, but he's kinda sick, so he won't be very good company."

"Okay," Usopp said. "Just . . . for a couple minutes. Then I'll go home."

"Alright, suit yourself. Can you bring him up some water while you're there?"

"Yeah."

* * *

"Luffy . . . ?"

Usopp cautiously pushed open Luffy's door and found him in bed, clutching the comforter close and shivering.

"Luffy," Usopp whispered, tiptoeing to the bedside and setting the glass of water on the dresser. "Hi."

Luffy slowly opened his eyes and squinted. "Usopp . . . ?"

"You look awful," Usopp said bluntly, kneeling.

"I _feel_ awful." Luffy sat up, eyes half-open.

"Does this happen . . . every month . . . ?"

"Mm-hm." Luffy reached for the glass and sipped some water.

"That sucks," Usopp murmured. "Is there anything . . . I can, uh . . . ?"

"Nah, but thanks," Luffy mumbled with a weak grin. "You came to check on me . . ."

"I was worried," Usopp said sheepishly. "Oh, uh, school was fine. Mrs. Nico gave us some homework, but it's just reading from the textbook."

"I hate reading," Luffy moaned dramatically, flopping back onto his pillow.

"It's not that long," Usopp muttered. "You can probably do it during lunch tomorrow."

A pause.

"_Are_ you gonna be there . . . tomorrow?" Usopp asked, shifting nervously.

Luffy closed his eyes. "Maybe. Yeah . . . I guess. I wanna see you guys . . ."

Usopp nodded and looked around. "I guess I should go. Um . . . good luck . . . ?"

Luffy nodded, keeping his eyes shut. Usopp pushed away some hair from his forehead before standing, stretching his legs.

"S'ya tomorrow," he said, heading out and shutting the door, wincing when it creaked.

He ran into Sabo in the hallway.

"Hey," he said, grinning.

"Hey," Sabo said.

Usopp awkwardly shuffled his feet.

"So, uh, how's college?" he said.

Sabo shrugged, motioning for Usopp to walk with him. "Not good, not bad. Ace and I get final class together because I'm studying in the library and he's skipping gym."

"Why—oh."

As they reached the entrance of the living room (right next to the top of the stairs to the front door), Ace glanced over the top of the couch. "I can hear you."

"Yeah, so can we," Sabo said. "I'm not going to _make_ you go to gym, don't worry . . ."

"Mm." Ace disappeared again, lying back down.

"I'll go home now," Usopp said quickly. He grinned. "Thanks for letting me see him."

"Well, you're a good kid," Sabo said, grinning.

Usopp shrugged and left.

"Isn't there a lunar eclipse tonight?" Sabo said thoughtfully as the door shut.

"Oh, yeah, someone said that in class. What about it?" Ace looked over the top of the couch.

"Do you think it'll affect . . . Luffy?"

"Dunno," Ace said, resting his head on the banister. "I can keep watch near his door tonight."

"If you want."

* * *

Ace dozed off against the wall, unaware of the soft growls as Luffy finished transforming inside. A skillet lay next to him.

Not an hour after transforming, loud whining jolted Ace awake, and he grabbed the skillet, looking around wildly. He soon calmed down and listened closely at the door as the whining faded.

There was a shuffling of paws and suddenly the whining started up again, softer this time, accompanied by gentle pawing at the door.

Ace frowned. He tapped the door with the skillet and was met with more insistent whining and scratching.

"Luffy?" he said to the door crack. "If you can hear me, be quiet for a bit . . . okay?"

The whining and scratching stopped.

"I'm . . . opening the door," Ace said slowly. "Stand back . . ."

A shuffling of movement met his ears. Ace cautiously opened the door, holding the skillet back, ready to strike just in case. But he was met with Luffy, in wolf form, sitting patiently near his dresser. When he saw Ace, his tail began thumping and he panted once, but remained by the dresser.

Ace furrowed his brow. "Luffy? Are you . . . ?"

Unable to hold back, Luffy bounded forward and knocked Ace back, careful not to put his paws on Ace's torso. Ace's eyes widened and he swung back the skillet, but froze when Luffy only pushed his head into his neck, tail wagging crazily.

"Holy shit," Ace breathed. He grinned in relief, setting aside his weapon and hugging Luffy's neck. "You're _you_!"

Luffy pushed his head into Ace's neck again and turned to look at Sabo's door.

"Right, hold on, get off me—" Ace stood, straightened his T-shirt, and opened Sabo's door after a quick knock.

"Hey, get up!" he exclaimed. Sabo sat up, eyes sleepy and hair a disheveled mess, wearing nothing but boxers.

"Wha?" he mumbled, blinking himself awake. "What's up?"

"Luffy's—what's the word?—he's himself," Ace announced, letting Luffy into the room.

"Lucid?" Sabo suggested, eyeing Luffy cautiously but melting into smiles when Luffy put his paws up on the bed, tail wagging.

"Yeah, that's it."

"I guess it's because of the eclipse," Sabo said, petting Luffy's head. Luffy cocked his head at the word.

"Basically it means the moon is covered by a shadow," Sabo explained. Luffy nodded, and then jumped down and pushed past Ace out of the room. Ace and Sabo glanced at each other, and Sabo got up, following Ace and Luffy down the hall.

They found Luffy scratching at the door and turning to look at them hopefully.

"Seriously?" Ace muttered. "You want to go on a walk?"

Luffy scratched at the door again.

"Why not?" Sabo said.

"Do _you_ know when the eclipse ends?"

". . . Good point."

Luffy whined.

Ace scratched his head. "I guess if we make it quick, we can be back before . . ."

"You take him," Sabo said.

"Why me?"

"You're already mostly dressed."

Ace scowled. "Fine, you lazy jerk." He glanced at Luffy. "I won't put you on a leash, but you have to stay near me, and we need to be back here before the eclipse ends. Understand?"

Luffy nodded and scratched at the door.

"Okay, okay. Sabo, wait up for us, we won't be long."

"Aye-aye," Sabo muttered, heading to the couch. Ace went down the stairs and opened up the door. Luffy bounded outside eagerly.

"Stay near me," Ace hissed, and Luffy grudgingly waited at the end of the driveway.

* * *

"Five more minutes and we head back right away," Ace said. Luffy was sniffing the air in delight, fur fluffed against the cold. Ace shivered in his short shirt, boxers, and sandals (which he'd hastily slipped on).

As they rounded the corner near a darkened gap between two houses, they came face-to-face with someone. He wore a suit, had his blond hair combed over his left blue eye, and the eyebrow on his right side curled up on the outside.

"Oh, pardon me," Sanji said politely.

Luffy barked happily and nearly knocked Sanji over. Sanji glanced down, not really looking at Luffy, and smiled. "Your dog? She's pretty big."

Luffy growled softly.

"_He_, not _she_," Ace snapped. He paused. "Oh, sorry . . ."

Sanji absently pet Luffy's head, ignoring the attempts to get his attention. "What's his name?"

"Luf—uh, Lew," Ace said quickly.

Luffy gave him a look.

"I panicked, okay?" Ace hissed. Sanji decided to ignore this.

"What kind of dog is he?" he asked.

"Uh—half-wolf, half-husky—I think," Ace said quickly.

"That explains why he's so big," Sanji murmured. He ceased petting Luffy, deciding to ignore him completely, much to Luffy's disappointment. "Well, I'm glad he's friendly, at least. Sorry about this . . ."

Ace frowned. "It's fine. We should get going, though . . ."

"No," Sanji said with an awkward smile. "Be quiet."

Ace's voice left him and his eyes widened. He motioned to Luffy, who whined loudly at Sanji.

"Go between those houses," Sanji said, gesturing, and Ace was forced to walk stiffly to the spot. Sanji followed, keeping his eyes trained on him.

"Hold still," Sanji ordered. Ace froze, eyes wide, and Sanji approached him from the back, biting into his neck in the shadows. Luffy whined and growled and tugged on Sanji's pants, but Sanji refused to be distracted.

When he'd had his fill, Ace was swaying on the spot, blinking. Sanji came around to face him.

"I'll keep an eye on your dog," Sanji said apologetically, wiping Ace's memory. Ace's legs buckled and Sanji caught him, setting him gently on the gravel, leaning up against one of the houses.

Luffy whined loudly and nudged Ace.

"Hey, calm down," Sanji said gently. "Follow me."

Luffy was compelled to obey, following Sanji out to the street. He whimpered, looking to Ace again.

"It's okay, Lew," Sanji said, petting Luffy's head. "He'll wake up sooner or later. I'll just say he collapsed while walking you and I couldn't wake him, and . . ."

He shrugged. "Guess that makes me the asshole here." He glanced at Ace. "Weird that he would walk you without a leash, huh? Isn't that weird?"

Luffy, losing his temper, growled and headbutted Sanji.

"_What?"_ Sanji muttered, looking back. They locked eyes and Sanji's widened after a moment.

"_Luffy?"_ he exclaimed incredulously. Luffy gave him a nod and a snort of anger.

"Wait, shit, so that means—" Sanji looked at Ace. "That's one of your brothers?"

Luffy gave him another nod and a whine.

"Holy shit," Sanji muttered, covering his face. "I'm so sorry . . . god, I shouldn't have taken that much, but I was so thirsty, I didn't find anyone last night, and . . . I'm sorry."

Luffy snorted again and sat down, facing Ace expectantly.

"He's gonna sleep for at least . . . I dunno, ten, thirty minutes?" Sanji said, sitting next to Luffy and hoping no one was peeking out their windows. "I'll stay with you until then, I promise. If _this_ isn't the weirdest situation I've ever been in . . ."

He glanced at Luffy. "Wait, why aren't you attacking him? You said you were dangerous on full moons."

Luffy turned his head to the sky and Sanji looked up.

"The eclipse?" he muttered. "Don't tell me you'll turn vicious once it passes . . . ?"

Luffy's ears went flat and he whimpered loudly, looking at Ace.

"Hey, I'll keep you back if that happens," Sanji said quickly. He grinned. "Cool vampire powers, remember?"

Luffy gave him a nod and turned back to stare at Ace intently. Sanji scratched his ears and Luffy pressed his head into his hand.

* * *

Sanji glanced over when Luffy gave off a loud, long whine, trembling. He looked up and saw the eclipse beginning to pass, and then looked back down to see Ace still unconscious. Luffy collapsed.

Sanji cursed under his breath and stood, keeping an eye on Luffy. He glanced over to Ace.

Luffy rose to his paws, shaking his head, and looked around. He spotted Ace, sniffed the air, snarled, and began to charge.

"_Stop_," Sanji ordered firmly. Luffy froze and Sanji came around to face him, keeping his eyes on him.

"Luffy," Sanji said calmly. Luffy growled. "This is for your own good. Stay there."

Luffy snarled and whined. Sanji took in and let out a deep breath and backed up slowly, keeping his eyes fixed on Luffy, until he was next to Ace.

Without looking away, he started shaking Ace's shoulder gently. "Wake up," he muttered. "Wake _up_, for the love of all that's holy and unholy, get up, I don't know where your house is, I can't carry you _and_ keep an eye on Luffy, get up, get up, come on . . ."

Sanji forced himself not to look when Ace finally stirred.

"Hm," Ace mumbled, sitting up and cracking his back. "The hell . . . ? Hey, who're you?"

"Hi, nice to meet you again, no time to talk, I gotta keep him under control," Sanji said in one breath without looking at Ace.

Ace glanced over and jumped when he saw Luffy in a threatening stance. He glanced up at the paler moon.

"Oh, damn it—hey, why isn't he moving?" he said, looking back at Luffy and then to Sanji. "Who _are_ you?!"

"This is kinda my fault," Sanji said, swallowing as he kept his gaze on Luffy. "Long story short, I'm the only thing keeping Luffy from coming after you, so the sooner you can lead us to your house, the sooner we can lock him up or whatever you do and the sooner I can explain."

Ace hesitated, and then reluctantly nodded and started to stand.

"You might still be dizzy, be careful," Sanji said, straightening up and offering a hand, all while keeping his eyes on Luffy. "Better have some juice and bread later."

Ace stumbled, shaking his head. He squinted suspiciously at Sanji. "You'd better explain _everything_ when we're safe."

"Yeah, I know, I'm sorry," Sanji muttered. "Start walking, will you?"

"Yeah," Ace muttered. He got to the sidewalk, watching Luffy cautiously as he made a wide berth around him, and went around the corner.

"Hey," Sanji said to get Luffy's attention. "Follow the human, but don't get too close."

Luffy whined loudly, but was forced to obey. Sanji stayed close behind, ready to tackle Luffy in case something went awry.

* * *

"Here," Ace said. He opened the front door.

"Go inside," Sanji ordered. Luffy trudged in, making sure to snarl at Ace on his way.

"What's going on?" Sabo said, sitting up from the couch, his nap interrupted. "Isn't this a little late?"

Luffy turned and snarled at him; Sabo jumped. "What the—?"

"Yeah, some stuff happened . . . I think," Ace said, scratching the back of his neck. Sanji made Luffy go upstairs and pause.

"Where do you lock him up?" he asked.

"His room," Ace said.

"Great. Where's that?"

"Last room on the right down the hall," Sabo said, getting up from the couch cautiously. Sanji made Luffy go there and inside before he quickly slammed the door. There was a bang and a whimper as Luffy threw himself against the barricade.

"Ace?" Sabo exclaimed. Sanji came back to find Ace had sunk to his knees, holding his head.

"Yeah, you should probably have some juice and bread," Sanji remarked.

"Fucking _explain_ already," Ace hissed, looking up and wincing.

* * *

Ace and Sabo sat on the couch. Ace was gulping down a tall glass of orange juice, and Sanji sat on the chair perpendicular to them.

"So," he said awkwardly.

"So . . . what happened?" Sabo said. He glanced at Ace hopefully.

Ace shrugged. "I was walking Luffy, and I think I turned a corner, and then . . . I woke up against a house, and _this_ guy was holding Luffy back, somehow, since the eclipse had apparently passed by that point."

Sabo turned to Sanji, folding his arms.

"Right, uh . . . this is my fault, I'm sorry," Sanji said. "Got that out of the way . . . did Luffy ever mention having a vampire friend?"

Ace and Sabo glanced at each other with dawning understanding.

"_You're_ the Sanji guy he talked about?" Sabo said.

Sanji nodded. "I don't live far from here."

Ace narrowed his eyes. "You drank my blood?"

Sanji looked away. "I was really thirsty . . . and I didn't realize it was Luffy until after I knocked you out . . ."

"And erased my memory, somehow," Ace muttered, peeved. He set the empty glass down. "How'd you keep Luffy back? And why didn't he attack you?"

Sanji grinned. "Vampire powers. I can control movement so long as I'm looking at the target. As for why he didn't attack . . . must be because I'm not a human."

"This whole thing is ridiculous," Sabo muttered, combing his fingers through his hair.

"You're telling me," Sanji muttered. "I should . . . get going, I guess." He stood. "Sorry about all this."

"Wait," Ace said, leaning forward. "I have an idea . . ."

* * *

When morning came, Sabo and Ace went to Luffy's room to make him get dressed for school.

"Last night was weird," Luffy said with a sleepy grin. "Ace, Sabo, you guys are okay, right? What happened to Sanji?"

"Sanji went home, and we're okay," Ace said. "Just wish he hadn't done that, but at least he kept you back . . ."

"Sorry," Luffy mumbled shamefacedly.

"It's okay. Hey, we talked with Sanji last night," Sabo added, "and when you get a chance . . . talk to him at school, will you?"

"Sure," Luffy said.

* * *

Sabo escorted Luffy, half-asleep, to the bus stop, and left Usopp to stay with him.

"Hey," Usopp whispered. He held Luffy just before he collapsed.

"Hey," Luffy mumbled. "'M tired."

"Okay."

* * *

Usopp found himself in very poor company with both Luffy and Sanji sleeping away the bus ride.

* * *

"Wow," Chopper exclaimed in awe. Luffy and Sanji had just finished taking it in turns to describe last night's events. "I wish I'd been there! I could've translated what you were saying, Luffy!"

"Yeah, but then Luffy would've tried to go after you eventually," Zoro pointed out. Chopper ducked his head.

"Oh, Sanji, Sabo said they talked with you last night," Luffy said, turning to him. "What about?"

Sanji propped his head up on his hands. "Well, since you don't attack me when you're transformed . . . how would you like me to keep you company every full moon?"

Luffy gasped, a smile spreading across his face.

"I'll take that as a yes."

* * *

**We'll continue this eventually! **


	103. Modern-Day: Werewolf Zoro

**Lilytrue and anon requested WW Zoro in the AU! **

**Non-humans: WW Zoro **

**Modern AU **

* * *

Zoro awoke lying on his side behind the store. He sat up slowly, turned his head, and vomited onto the street.

What was that guy's _problem?_ Challenging him to a fight, accidentally biting his hand, and then looking scared and running . . . he couldn't have transferred a disease, Zoro mused as he stood, but then why would he have collapsed like that?

He decided that was enough thinking for one day.

* * *

"So you got lost on the way?" Kuina said after making sure Zoro wasn't hurt.

Zoro scowled as Perona scampered up. "I did _not_."

"You did," Perona said. She gasped. "Your hand!"

"What?" Kuina exclaimed. Zoro reluctantly showed her the wound.

"He bit me and ran away," he explained. "I don't know what his deal was. It isn't bad, don't worry, I'll go wash it."

"He bit you?" Perona exclaimed. "Is he a _vampire_?"

Zoro grinned. "If he was, that makes me a vampire, now." He flung up his arms and Perona shrieked in delight.

"Seriously, go wash that," Kuina said. "That guy looked like he hadn't washed anything but his hair in a week."

"True that," Zoro muttered. He headed off to the sink.

* * *

A few weeks later, when school had just gotten out for the summer, Zoro awoke feverish.

"Aw, you're sick?" Perona exclaimed after going to investigate with Kuina. "I wanted to play outside with you today . . ."

"It'll be just as nice tomorrow, you can do that then," Kuina said. "Zoro, stay in bed and don't do anything stupid."

Zoro scowled, though the effect was somewhat ruined by tired eyes. "What do you think I'm gonna get up to?"

"For all we know, we'll come back in here and you'll have gotten yourself lost _again_ just trying to get out of bed," Kuina said.

Perona giggled. Zoro rolled his eyes but did not retaliate.

"We'll get you crackers later," Kuina said. "Perona, wanna play outside in the meantime? We can go to the playground tomorrow."

"Yeah," Perona said. She turned to Zoro. "Get better soon!"

"Mm," Zoro mumbled, shutting his eyes.

* * *

Night fell. Zoro was feeling worse than ever, so his door was left open a crack to help cool the room. As usual, Perona and Kuina left their doors slightly ajar.

Kuina sat up suddenly when she heard something from Zoro's room.

"Zoro?" she whispered.

Sensing something was wrong, she got out of bed and crept down the hall in her boxers and T-shirt, only to freeze when she saw the large shape at the end.

It was some kind of large canine—a husky, or perhaps a wolf, but since when were there wolves in this area?—and as she watched, it turned to face her. In the gloom, she could just make out a pair of yellow eyes.

After a snarl, the wolf (it was too big to be a husky) leapt for Kuina, who gasped and jumped aside. She retreated to her room and slammed the door shut, listening carefully. There were scratches and frustrated whines, and then—silence.

Kuina sighed when she heard the beast retreat down the hall, but the relief was replaced with icy fear when she realized what was at the end.

Without a moment's hesitation, she flung her door open again to see the tail of the wolf vanishing into Perona's room. She sprinted down the hall and slammed the door open to see the wolf snarling at Perona, who shrieked and backed herself against the wall.

"_Get away!" _Kuina yelled, kicking the wolf hard in its side, knocking it over. "Don't touch her!"

"Kuina!" Perona screamed, crying.

"Perona, go hide in my room and shut the door, I'm not gonna let this stupid thing hurt you!" Kuina exclaimed. "Go around me! I'll be there in a sec! Hurry!"

"Okay!" Perona exclaimed, sniffling. "Where's Zo?"

"I'll check on him after this! Go!"

Perona scrambled over the end of her bed and ran out of the room, leaving Kuina and the wolf. Kuina punched it in the head, leaving it dazed.

"Ow," she muttered, rubbing her hand. She backed out of the room and ran out and into Zoro's room.

"Zoro?!" she exclaimed, looking around. His boxers were on the floor, but his bedsheets were rumpled and he was nowhere in sight.

"What the—don't tell me he went somewhere at this time," she muttered. A fierce snarl made her turn around and she was tackled by the wolf. Thinking quickly, she bent her legs underneath her and sent the wolf flying with a powerful thrust. As it hit the wall with a yelp, she sprang up and ran out of the room and down the hall, flinging her own door open, jumping inside, and slamming it shut.

"Perona?" she whispered, and was met with a new weight around her waist.

"Is it gone?" Perona whimpered.

Kuina hesitated. "No," she said at last, "but we're safe in here. It can't open doors."

She knelt and hugged her, ignoring the whining outside.

"Where's . . . ?"

"I don't know," Kuina admitted. "He wasn't in his room."

"How'd the monster get inside?" Perona asked.

"I don't know, maybe one of us accidentally left the front door open or something," Kuina said, grasping at straws. "But . . . however it got in, it can get back out the same way, so it'll probably be gone by morning."

A pause.

"It was hard to see in the dark, but I think it was a wolf," she added. "We're gonna stay in here until morning. You can have the bed."

Perona didn't let go. "Can you sleep with me?"

"Yeah, of course," Kuina said. "You have to let go first."

Perona released her and went to the bed. Kuina followed after listening at the door for a moment. She heard a snort outside; it seemed the wolf had decided to camp outside the room.

When she got into bed, Perona snuggled close to her.

"I want Papa," she whispered.

Kuina hugged her. "Me, too."

* * *

Kuina sat up quickly when a knock came at the door. Perona sleepily rubbed her eyes and sat up, kicking the covers away.

Another knock, more insistent this time. Kuina picked up Perona, who was more than happy to hold onto her, and went for the door. She reached out and slowly opened it up . . .

. . . And came face-to-face with Zoro. He looked utterly exhausted, but his face filled with relief when he saw them. He had put his boxers back on.

"Zo!" Perona exclaimed happily.

Kuina got Perona off of her and set her down gently before turning and throwing a hard punch into Zoro's chest. He stumbled backwards, wincing.

"Where _were_ you?!" she yelled. "Did you actually go off and get lost while all that happened?! What the hell possessed you to get up in the middle of the night?!"

Zoro was silent. Kuina glanced at his torso and noticed blossoming purple bruises just below his chest.

"What _happened?" _she demanded. Perona stared up at Zoro curiously.

"You two . . . you're okay, right?" Zoro said.

"Yeah, a monster got in the house and it was really scary, but Kuina beat it up," Perona announced.

"I know," Zoro murmured. "Kuina . . . thank god you're so strong. If you hadn't . . ."

He rubbed his head, wincing.

"I'm so sorry," he said suddenly. He hugged Kuina tightly. "I'm so glad you're okay . . ."

Perona hugged Zoro's legs, but then she let go and stared at his backside.

"Why do you have a _tail?" _she exclaimed.

Kuina pushed Zoro away and looked around. Sure enough, there was a tail, the same color as his hair, hanging out from underneath his boxers to the back of his knees. And when she looked back to his face, she finally noticed that his eyes had turned yellow.

"Zoro . . . ?"

"I was unconscious the whole time," he said, staring at his feet. "I remembered everything when I . . . turned back."

"What?" Perona said, not understanding.

Zoro knelt in front of Perona. "Pear-bear, can you go to the living room for a bit? I gotta talk to Kuina alone. We won't be long."

Perona frowned. "But—"

"Please?"

"Okay," Perona mumbled. She shuffled out and down the hall. Zoro shut the door and turned back to Kuina.

"I think I'm a werewolf," he said.

Kuina clenched her hands by her sides. "So _you_ attacked us last night."

Zoro leaned against and slid down the wall, landing on the floor and looking up at her. He nodded.

Kuina crouched in front of him. "Well, you obviously weren't yourself," she said. "If you'd been in control, you never would've . . ."

She threw a punch at his forehead and his head bounced back against the wall. He rubbed the growing lump, but didn't protest.

"You scared us," she whispered. "You moron, Perona was in trouble, I had no idea where _you_ were—"

She stared at the ground, blinking back tears.

"I'm so sorry," Zoro said. "You know I'd never . . . if I'd known, if I'd had any idea, I would've shut myself up . . ."

"How did this _happen?" _

"Good question. Can't recall getting bitten—" Zoro hesitated and examined his left hand. "Hang on, that guy who bit me and ran away . . . couldn't've been . . . ?"

"If it _was_ him, I'll beat him up myself if we see him again," Kuina muttered. She leaned forward and hugged Zoro. "Thank god you're back to normal . . ."

"Thank god you're so strong," Zoro said with a weak smile.

When Kuina pulled back, his smile had faded. "Should we tell Perona?"

Kuina hesitated. "She already saw your . . . tail," she said, glancing down at it as it twitched. "And she's bound to notice your eyes . . ."

"What about my eyes?" Zoro said, blinking.

"They're yellow."

Zoro frowned. "Oh, is that why everything looks weird?"

"What?"

"The colors are messed up," Zoro said.

Kuina looked around and shook her head. "Never mind. I guess we should tell her, but do it gently."

"Yeah," Zoro said. They stood and went out to the living room.

* * *

Perona was oddly quiet once she'd processed that it was _Zoro_ who'd attacked them the previous night. Zoro and Kuina waited patiently.

"It's okay," she said at last. She looked up determinedly. "It was super scary, but it wasn't your fault! So it's okay!"

"Thanks," Zoro said, smiling. He hugged her and she buried her face into his shoulder. "I promise it won't happen again."

He yawned hugely when he finally let go.

"We'll talk more later, okay?" Kuina said. "Go to bed in the meantime."

"Can I go back to bed, too?" Perona asked hopefully. "I'm not real hungry."

"If you want."

Zoro and Perona stood. Zoro picked her up as if to reassert that he was himself again and no longer a threat.

"Let's go to the playground after lunch, okay?" he said.

"Yeah!" Perona exclaimed.


	104. Modern-Day: Captured Luffy

**The-Name-Is-Sapphire requested Luffy being captured/tortured and Zoro rescuing him! (Both vampires.) **

**Non-humans: Vampire Zoro, Vampire Luffy **

**Modern AU **

* * *

"Oh, shoot," Luffy muttered, looking around. "Crap, dang it, oh man . . ."

He'd wandered a bit too far from his house, and the grey on the horizon told him the sun was due to rise soon. He was near the supermarket in the town plaza.

He spotted a payphone and hurried over, finding two quarters on the shelf with a note reading, _Next call's on me! _

"Thanks," he whispered, inserting the coins and dialing his home number. He bounced on his feet and tapped the edge of the box while he waited.

A sleepy voice answered, _Hello?_

"Sabo!" Luffy exclaimed.

_Luffy, where the hell are you?!_ Sabo yelled, suddenly wide-awake. _Dawn's on its way!_

"I know, I'm really sorry, I don't think I'm gonna get home before the sun rises," Luffy said quickly. "I don't have any sunscreen or anything either . . ."

He glanced behind him as the horizon grew lighter.

"And since we don't have a car or anything," he continued, "I'm gonna sneak into the supermarket and turn into a bat and hide on the ceiling until it's nighttime."

He yawned.

"I'll come home as soon as I can tomorrow night, okay?" he added. "I'm really sorry, I'll see you later!"

_Luffy, wait,_ Sabo exclaimed. _Ace and I are gonna meet you halfway, okay? We'll wait at the playground. _

"Okay, yeah," Luffy said. He grinned. "See you later!"

He hung up the phone and hurried into the supermarket. Once inside, Luffy looked around and hurried to the back. He snuck into the doors leading to the storage area, and, after looking around at all the boxes in awe (thinking this would be a wonderful place to play hide-and-seek, turned into a bat. He fluttered up to the ceiling and hooked onto the rafters, folding his wings around him and falling asleep in the shadows.

* * *

Unbeknownst to him, someone had been just around the corner of the payphone, and she'd heard every word he'd said.

The woman adjusted her glasses, glancing around shiftily. She was staying at the hotel nearby for a company trip . . . who would've thought she'd run into a real vampire on her way to the café?

She grinned to herself. She'd only ever _read_ about vampires and werewolves and the like—what were the odds she'd find a real one?

And what would the reward be if she turned him in?

She drew in a breath and eyed the supermarket entrance. He was sure to come out around nighttime, as she'd overheard from the phone call . . .

* * *

Luffy transformed back and snuck out into the main section of the store. He yawned, stretched, and strolled out the front, looking around. The sun had just set.

"Excuse me . . ."

He turned and spotted a woman with glasses nearby.

"I was told . . . to give this to you," she said nervously, and handed him a note.

Luffy frowned as he took it. "Who are you?"

"I'm in town for a little bit, and . . ." she trailed off.

Luffy unfolded the note and read it. He gasped, eyes widening as he read it again.

"What is this?" he exclaimed, shooting a look at the woman.

She frantically shook her head. "I don't know! I read it, I'm sorry, but . . . I got a similar note . . . is this Sabo person someone close to you?"

"He's my brother," Luffy said, reading it again.

_I have taken Sabo hostage. Come to the Extended Stay Hotel room XXX and no one will be harmed. _

"You said you got something like this?" Luffy added, looking back up.

She nodded. "It was the same room number . . . should we go together?"

"Yeah, let's go quick," Luffy said, clenching the paper in a fist. "I might be able to stop whoever it is . . ."

He turned and hurried down the street, the woman close behind.

* * *

"Here we are . . ."

They stood in front of the room listed on the note. Luffy frowned and pressed an ear to the door.

"Weird, I don't hear anything," he muttered.

"Move aside," the woman said abruptly. She hunched over the handle, hiding what she was doing, and soon the door swung open.

"Get inside," she hissed.

"Wow, how'd you do that?" Luffy exclaimed, hurrying in and looking around. "Sabo? Are you here?"

The door shut behind him and he turned to see the woman blocking it with a smile.

"Any idea where he is?" Luffy said.

"How should I know?"

"Good point. SABO?!"

He began searching the room up and down, looking in every nook and cranny and even under the bed and out the window.

"Wait, hold still!"

Luffy froze. "What? What's up?"

Before he could do a thing, he was approached from behind and a cloth was swiftly tied around his face, gagging him quite effectively. He made a noise of surprise and was shoved to the ground, hands forced behind his back.

"You're an idiot, vampire," he heard the woman say. "You fell for it . . . and as soon as I'm done with you, I'll be turning you over to the authorities! Won't they be surprised!"

Luffy struggled and made muffled sounds from behind his gag.

"But first . . . I'd like to test just how many of those vampire rumors are true."

* * *

"God, where _is_ he?" Ace hissed, tapping the table impatiently. He and Sabo had been waiting at the playground for nearly an hour and Luffy had yet to show up.

"He isn't in trouble, is he?" Sabo muttered, standing yet again to look down the street. "He couldn't have gotten lost, he's been to that plaza and back a hundred times . . ."

"I wouldn't put it past him to have overslept," Ace remarked.

"Oh, fuck—"

They whipped around and saw someone standing nearby.

"Uh, hi," the person said sheepishly, stepping closer. It was Zoro. "Only just realized it was you two."

"Hi," Sabo said, folding his arms as Ace self-consciously adjusted the straps under his shirt. "You haven't seen Luffy, have you?"

"No, not tonight," Zoro said. "Only just left my place. I saw him last night, we hung out for a bit before splitting up."

"He didn't act weird or anything, right?" Ace said.

Zoro shook his head. "Why, what's going on?"

He sat with them at the table.

"Luffy's missing," Sabo said, looking down the street again. He explained what had happened that morning.

Zoro narrowed his eyes. "That _is_ weird. He was on a payphone when that call happened?"

"Yeah."

"And he said he'd hide in the supermarket?"

Sabo nodded.

"It's not unlike him to be late, but I say we go scope out the area and see if he's around." Zoro stood. "We might run into him on the way, anyway."

"Sounds good, let's go," Ace said, jumping up from the table.

Zoro glanced between them. "Before we go . . . could I drink from one of you?"

They eyed him.

"Come on, I won't take a lot, it'll only be a minute . . ."

"If I end up passing out, it's on your head," Sabo muttered, sticking out his arm.

* * *

"Looks like silver doesn't affect you . . ."

Luffy, gagged and bound tightly to the bedpost, stared at the woman with fearful eyes as she withdrew her silver jewelry. As proudly announced earlier, she had taken to testing what would affect him and what would not.

"I wonder if a cross would do anything?" she mused aloud, and grinned when Luffy winced. She went to her dresser and drew out a wooden crucifix, turning around and bringing it to Luffy, who flinched and tried desperately to wriggle away.

She pressed it to his neck and a muffled yell escaped him as he thrashed under his bindings. Once she removed it, she was delighted to see a cross-shaped burn left on his neck, though the item itself remained cool.

"How about holy water?" she murmured, going back to the bathroom. Ever since taking an interest in the supernatural, she'd kept a vial with her whenever possible, and it would finally come in handy.

Luffy squirmed anxiously when he saw the vial, and the woman uncorked it and splashed a few drops onto his face. A muffled cry came from under the gag, and the rest was tossed onto his face, prompting a scream as it burned and hissed on his skin. Tears leaked from his eyes and he trembled madly.

"How many people have you killed?" the woman asked, straightening back up and setting her vial aside. Luffy's eyes were squeezed shut in pain.

"I wonder what garlic would do . . ."

* * *

"Well, fuck, he isn't anywhere," Ace muttered, agitatedly glancing around. He, Sabo, and Zoro had combed the area around the supermarket to no avail. "Damn it . . ."

"I didn't hear him, either," Zoro said, folding his arms.

"One of the employees in there said they saw him leaving the store earlier," Sabo said, gesturing to the supermarket. "So he definitely made it out here . . ."

A rustling caught Zoro's ears and he glanced down, spotting a piece of crushed paper. A familiar name drew his eyes and he picked it up, smoothing it out with a frown.

"Hey," he said, glancing up at Sabo. "I think I know where he is."

He passed him the paper and he read it, Ace looking over his shoulder.

"Oh, no," Sabo whispered. "Someone must've overheard the conversation earlier . . ."

"That hotel's this way," Zoro said, pointing behind him. "If he hasn't escaped by now, he really is in trouble. Come on."

"It's the other way," Ace said, exasperated. "Why don't _you_ follow _us_, okay?"

* * *

Luffy's face was a mess of tears and burns. The woman had pressed a garlic head to his face, not willing to risk removing the gag to force a clove into his mouth, and it had stung quite badly, the smell alone making his eyes water.

"I'll have to step out and see if I can purchase more religious symbols . . . I wonder if those would affect you," the woman said thoughtfully. Luffy glared at her and she held out the cross again, making him flinch away.

"And when daylight comes . . . well, I wonder what you'll look like in the sunlight?"

Luffy's eyes widened and he whimpered.

A knock came at the door and she and Luffy looked up.

"Room service," they heard from outside. Luffy's eyes widened at the voice and he tried yelling again.

"Shush," the woman hissed, leaning in close, "or I'll give you the garlic again."

Luffy went quiet.

"Now's not a good time, could you come back later?" she called sweetly, going to the door.

"Afraid not, we really need to speak with you," came a different voice. "Just at the door is fine."

The woman scowled. "Just a second, then . . ."

She went to the door and opened it a crack, peeking out. "Hello—?"

Her face was met with a fist and she stumbled back.

"Go!" Sabo exclaimed, throwing the door wide open. Ace tackled the woman and Zoro hurried to Luffy to untie him.

"You okay?" he muttered. Luffy nodded and rubbed his wrists once they were free. Zoro carefully untied the gag.

"I'll get the staff to call the police," Sabo said. "Luffy, be back soon, okay?"

He hurried down the hall.

"You _bitch_, what the fuck were you doing to him?" Ace snarled, landing another blow to the woman's face. Her glasses were cracked and her nose was beginning to bleed.

"He's a _vampire,"_ the woman exclaimed through gritted teeth. "A creature of evil—"

"Shut the fuck up!"

"Hey, I'm pretty pissed, too, but lay off her or the cops'll have you taken in as well," Zoro said. Ace reluctantly backed off, hurrying over to Luffy instead, who had clung to Zoro.

"Lu, you okay?" he whispered. He winced when he saw the burns on Luffy's face and neck.

"Yes," came the tiny reply. "I wanna—" his voice broke. "Wanna go home—"

"We're gonna go home soon as the cops get here," Ace whispered. "Don't worry, it's okay . . ."

He glanced at Zoro. "Could you keep an eye on her?" he asked, gesturing to the woman, who was sitting up and trying to wipe the blood off her face.

Zoro glanced at Luffy, hesitating.

"Okay," he said at last. He managed to pry Luffy off of him and went to glare at the woman while Luffy latched onto Ace.

* * *

After coming up to check on the scene, one of the staff members called the police, who, after a round of questioning, ignored the woman's accusations of Luffy being a vampire and led her away in cuffs. The staff made formal apologies to Luffy's family and Zoro, who all quickly waved it away, not wanting to get too caught up in legal business. They did, however, accept the offer of a ride home.

* * *

"There . . ."

Luffy finally stopped crying not long after his burns had been treated with cool water and lotion. Ace had offered him some blood, which he'd gratefully taken, though not as much as he normally would—perhaps his stomach had been upset by the earlier events.

"You gonna be okay?" Sabo murmured. "I'm so sorry . . ."

Luffy nodded. "It was a trap," he mumbled. "She heard me talking to you . . ."

"It's okay, you couldn't've known," Sabo said, brushing some hair from his face. He glanced at Zoro. "Thanks for helping out."

"No problem."

"From now on, you make sure you're home by three," Sabo said firmly. Ace nodded.

"Yeah," Luffy whispered. "I'm sorry."

"Shh," Ace whispered. "It's okay."

"I'm going back out," Zoro said abruptly. "Unless you guys want me to stay?"

Ace and Sabo shook their heads. Luffy shrugged.

"Luffy, I'll see you at school on Monday," Zoro said. "Stay safe."

With a nod, he left the house.

"My face hurts," Luffy whispered.

Sabo hugged him again. "I'm sorry. We'll stay up with you if you want. Ace, do you wanna go change?"

"Yeah, be right back . . ."

Luffy curled up against Sabo on the couch.


	105. Modern-Day: WW Luffy and Vampire Sanji 3

**The title of this chapter (and the ones before it with "1" and "2") takes up the character limit... **

**Continuing the thing! **

**Non-humans: WW Luffy, Vampire Sanji **

**Modern AU **

* * *

Sanji knocked on the door, straightened his shirt, and listened to the footsteps approaching. The door swung open and he found himself facing Ace and Sabo.

"Hey," he said with a friendly smile. Ace eyed him while Sabo offered a smile in return.

"Luffy said he'd rather you come in after he's transformed, so you can wait in the living room in the meantime," Ace said abruptly. Sabo nodded and turned with Ace to go up the stairs. Sanji tried to follow, but stumbled back with a hiss of pain, rubbing his nose.

"What's up?" Ace muttered.

"Hate to be a bother, but could you invite me in properly?" Sanji muttered, wincing.

"Oh, sure," Sabo said, unconcerned. "Come in."

Sanji stepped inside, slipping out of his shoes. He sighed in relief, finding the house warm, and followed the two up to the living room, glancing down the hallway as he did so. He sat on the chair while they sat on the couch.

"You need some blood?" Sabo offered. "Since you're doing this and all, and I'm going to bed soon anyway . . ."

"I—yeah, thanks," Sanji said in surprise. Sabo allowed him to bite down on an arm. When Sanji finally withdrew, he warned Sabo not to stand too quickly.

"I'll get you some juice," Ace said, heading to the kitchen.

Sanji glanced around. "I was wondering . . . why aren't there many kid photos of you guys here?"

The photos he had seen in the hall and on the bureau were Luffy's and Sabo's school pictures throughout the years, Ace's last few school photos, and only a few photos of Sabo and Luffy as children.

Sabo shrugged as Ace came back with the juice. "Thanks," he murmured, taking a sip. "Ace doesn't like how he looked when he was younger, so we put those pictures away."

Ace scowled. "Stupid old man makes us take them out when he comes to visit," he muttered.

"Yeah."

Sanji narrowed his eyes and leaned over to glance down the hallway, hearing something odd.

"Was that . . . is he transforming now?" he asked. "I heard him . . ."

"I suppose so," Sabo said, and Sanji noticed he clenched his cup tightly. Ace looked at his feet.

"He's okay, right?" Sanji added.

Ace grimaced. "He's said it's painful every time," he murmured, "not to mention he's ill the whole day beforehand . . ."

Sanji gave him a nod. "If it's okay, I can go in now."

Ace and Sabo glanced at each other, nodded to Sanji, and stood. Sabo bent over, clutching the coffee table, and Ace helped him up.

"Told you not to stand too fast," Sanji said under his breath.

He was led to Luffy's room, where Ace and Sabo stood back cautiously. With one last look at them, he opened the door, stepped inside, and shut it behind him.

He found Luffy in that large wolf form he remembered, having adopted an aggressive stance and glare. Luffy hesitated before relaxing his stance, though his eyes remained suspicious.

"Everything's fine," Sanji called. He heard sighs of relief and turned back to Luffy, holding out his hands.

"Hey," he said with a friendly smile. "Do you know who I am?"

He sat cross-legged and allowed Luffy to sniff him. Luffy shook his head once he'd finished.

"My name's Sanji. I'm a vampire."

Luffy's gaze turned from suspicious to friendly in a heartbeat. His tail thumped on the ground.

"Do you know _your_ name?"

His tail went still and he shook his head slowly.

"I'll call you Luffy. Is that okay?"

A moment's hesitation and Luffy nodded, tail thumping on the floor again.

"I bet being alone's no fun, huh?" Sanji said, petting Luffy's head. Luffy pressed his head happily into Sanji's hand. "So I'm gonna stay with you tonight. Sound good?"

Luffy panted once and his tail thumped a few more times.

"Alright, good. It's a little too small in here to play fetch or anything, but we can talk and I can show you some cool vampire powers. Yeah?"

Luffy gave a little whine of excitement.

* * *

Shortly before sunrise, Luffy whined loudly and collapsed onto his side, trembling. Sanji realized he must have been turning back and hurried out of the room, heading to the living room couch, where he fell onto the corner cushion and closed his eyes, yawning.

He opened his eyes when he heard a noise and found Luffy approaching, now fully dressed. Luffy grinned sleepily and fell onto the couch, hugging Sanji around the neck.

"Thanks," he murmured.

"No problem," Sanji said, patting his head. "Hate to break the mood, but could I borrow some sunscreen?"

* * *

**I'm gonna do one more chapter for the Modern AU with these two, but we might go back to them later! **


	106. Modern-Day: WW Luffy and Vampire Sanji 4

**Next chapter, we're heading back to the regular OP-verse for a while! **

**Non-humans: WW Luffy, Vampire Sanji **

**Modern AU **

* * *

Despite that a solar eclipse was set to occur shortly following the final bell, excitement was low throughout the school due to the bad weather. The sky was blanketed in clouds, shutting down any chance of watching the event where they were.

Luffy and Sanji were in their final class. While their teacher talked, Luffy impatiently watched the clock and Sanji struggled not to fall asleep.

At last, the bell rang. Students quickly began stuffing their things in their bags and heading out the door.

"Read pages 35 and 36 for discussion tomorrow," the teacher called, brushing aside a lock of dark hair. "Luffy, Sanji, stay here, I need to talk to you two."

Sanji lifted his head, blinking, while Luffy sighed in disappointment. They were thrown a few sympathetic looks by their classmates.

Once everyone else had cleared out, Luffy went to sit by Sanji.

"Is something wrong, Mrs. Nico?" Sanji asked, stifling a yawn. He made himself sit up and tried to be attentive.

"More or less," Robin said, sitting across from them while Luffy swayed in his chair. "Neither of you are in trouble, you won't be punished; I just want to make sure everything's okay at home."

They glanced at each other.

"Yeah," Luffy said at last. "Why?"

She glanced to him. "You've been fidgeting far more this year than last year," she said. "I was worried it might have to do with trouble at home."

Luffy looked away. "No, everything's fine, I just—I kinda miss home easier than last year. That's all."

"It would do you better to try to focus on your work, but if you need to get up and move around, I wouldn't mind letting you have a bathroom break during class." Robin now turned to Sanji. "You have insomnia, don't you?"

Sanji hesitated. "Sleeping trouble, yes," he mumbled.

"If there's anything you can do to get more sleep—going to bed earlier, taking naps—please try," Robin said. "Falling asleep in class every day isn't good for your physical health with these desks, and I do want my students to pay attention."

"Yes, ma'am," Sanji murmured.

"Can we go?" Luffy blurted out, rocking back and forth impatiently. "We're gonna miss the bus . . ."

"Yes, of course," Robin said, standing. "Sorry to keep you."

Luffy stood, but he suddenly winced and doubled over with a cry of pain, clutching his head.

"Luffy?" Sanji muttered, standing.

"Luffy, are you okay?" Robin asked, kneeling to check on him as he collapsed to the floor, whining in pain. "Do you need the nurse?"

Sanji narrowed his eyes as he knelt by Luffy. "Mrs. Nico, could you please stand back? I have a bad feeling . . ."

"Has this happened before?" Robin asked, though she stepped back a few paces.

Sanji shrugged. "Not that I know of . . . there's an eclipse happening right now, isn't there?"

"Well, yes, though we can't see it . . ."

"Hm," Sanji murmured.

Luffy rose to his feet, crouched on all fours. He growled softly, shook his head, looked up, and spotted Robin. He pulled back his lips in a fierce snarl and made to spring—

"_Stop, _Luffy," Sanji ordered, and Luffy froze in place. He gave a whine of frustration and kept his yellow eyes trained on Robin aggressively.

"This is _not_ funny, you two," Robin said sternly. "You're both getting in-class detention if you keep this up."

"Mrs. Nico," Sanji said slowly, his eyes fixed on Luffy, "I promise, we're _not_ messing around. I swear we'll explain everything after he goes back to normal, but I really need to focus on keeping him back."

Robin hesitated.

"Fine," she said at last. "But you _will_ face consequences if this is an elaborate prank. Luffy, do you hear me?"

Luffy growled at her.

"He's not himself right now," Sanji said stiffly, swallowing nervously. "He doesn't . . . know who you are."

"Are you quite sure I shouldn't call the hospital?"

"Please don't. How long . . . does the eclipse last?"

Robin glanced to the clock. "Two more minutes, give or take."

Sanji nodded. "You . . . might want to leave the room . . . ?"

"I'm not leaving you two by yourselves."

"Yes, ma'am."

Not too long after this, Luffy let out a loud whine and fell to the floor, curling up. Sanji looked away, slumping against a desk.

"He's okay now," he announced. "I think."

Luffy pushed himself up, wincing. "My head hurts," he whined. "What the heck . . . ?"

He clutched his head again, and then turned to Robin, eyes wide.

"Uh . . . I'm really sorry," he whispered. He looked to Sanji for help. "I didn't mean to—I dunno what happened—"

"It was probably the eclipse," Sanji muttered. "Remember when you went lucid on the lunar eclipse? There was a solar eclipse outside just now . . ."

"Oh."

Luffy turned to Robin again. "Please don't tell anyone," he blurted out.

Robin pinched the bridge of her nose. "You have one minute to explain."

"I'm a vampire, and he's a werewolf," Sanji said. "I don't know how or why, but the eclipse did something like . . . it gave Luffy his wolf mind while he still had his human body. I stopped him because I have cool vampire powers, which is also why he didn't try to attack me—I'm not a human."

Luffy nodded along.

"Do I need to call your parents?" Robin said sternly.

"Well, Ace and Sabo already know I'm a werewolf, 'cause they live with me and stuff," Luffy mumbled. "And Sanji's dad knows about him being a vampire. So I dunno what's gonna happen if you call our houses."

"He's my great-uncle," Sanji snapped. He took a deep breath. "Sorry, ma'am, but we're really telling the truth."

Luffy reached into the back of his pants and pulled out his tail. Robin's eyes went wide when she saw it slowly wagging, but words failed her.

"And, um, I'm not wearing contacts," Luffy added helpfully.

Robin stood, went around Luffy, and examined the tail.

"This is _real_," she murmured in awe.

"Yeah," Luffy mumbled self-consciously. His tail drooped slightly. "I kinda . . . transform on full moons. That's why I'm called in sick on those days."

Robin straightened up. "I _did_ notice," she admitted, "but I didn't think anything of it . . ."

She turned to Sanji. "Don't tell me you're nocturnal?"

Sanji grimaced and nodded. "I'm sorry for lying," he mumbled shamefacedly.

Robin crossed her arms. "A vampire . . ."

Sanji's eyes went wide. "I don't kill anyone," he said quickly. "I swear, no one's in danger—"

"Calm down, I know you're not a murderer," Robin said kindly. "This whole thing explains a lot about you two this year . . ."

Luffy grinned sheepishly. "Um, please don't tell anyone?" he said hopefully. "Only Ace and Sabo told me not to spread it around, and I'd probably be in real trouble . . ."

"Same here," Sanji murmured.

Robin hesitated.

"I'll keep it to myself," she promised at last. "I might have to talk to your guardians about this eventually, but I won't spread it around."

Luffy's tail began wagging again. "Thank you!"

"Thank you," Sanji said in relief.

Robin sat down. "Is there anything I should know in addition to this?"

They shrugged.

"I'm still gonna be absent whenever a full moon's on a school day, and sometimes the day after," Luffy said helpfully. "And Sanji's probably gonna be tired every single day still."

"What he said," Sanji said.

Robin gave them a sigh and a nod. "Your bus is probably gone by now," she said. "Can you get a ride home?"

Luffy frowned. "Oh, shoot, I don't have a car, and Ace and Sabo aren't home anyway . . ."

"I can call the old man, we can take you to Usopp's place," Sanji offered.

Luffy grinned again, tail wagging. "Yeah, thanks!"

Robin allowed Sanji to use the phone while Luffy tucked his tail away and went to grab his backpack.

* * *

**Ages of everyone (so far) in the AU, at the start of this school year: **

**Luffy: 15  
****Ace: 18  
****Sabo: 18  
****Zoro: 17  
****Kuina: 14  
****Perona: 7  
****Nami: 16  
****Usopp: 15  
****Sanji: 17  
****Chopper: 13 (he's in 9th grade because he skipped a grade earlier)  
****Robin: 26**

**(Also, Robin's fav Disney cartoon in the AU is Cinderella) **

**So... it just occurred to me that I'd be willing to do more characters as WW/vampires in the Modern AU, as long as they frequently appear/are close to the SH characters. This would include Ace, Sabo, and Kuina (I'd rather not do parental figures like Garp, Zeff, etc), not to mention that Chopper, Brook, and Franky are "normal humans" in this AU, so they could be included as well. **

**I only bring this up because despite saying earlier that I'd rather not do WW/vampire Franky, I _have_ gotten requests for that, not to mention I've gotten requests for WW Ace as well. If I did either of those in the AU, I'd be happy to give credit to previous requesters as well, even though they didn't request it in the AU specifically. **

**What do you guys think?**


	107. Vampires on Thriller Bark

**DarkFlames73 requested Vampire Monster Trio on Thriller Bark! This one was requested a while ago, but I had to put it off until now due to needing to catch up on Thriller Bark. **

**Non-humans: Vampire Sanji, Vampire Zoro, Vampire Luffy **

* * *

"Oh, wake _up_, you three!"

Luffy, Zoro, and Sanji sat up sleepily.

"Franky?" Luffy mumbled. "What's up? Emergency?"

Franky scratched the back of his neck. "We found a barrel and we think it's full of booze, and since you guys can have alcohol, and Strawhat, you're the captain . . . anyway, just come outside."

He tossed them a spray bottle of sunscreen (the bottle his own invention) and headed back out. The three were out soon enough, protected from the sun and rubbing their eyes in irritation.

"Right, where's this booze?" Zoro demanded.

"About time you came out," Nami muttered. "Robin was just saying that this is some kind of offering, and after we have whatever's inside, we should at least replace it with a bottle of our own."

Luffy grinned. "Ooh, an offering!" He glanced to the sky. "God, we're gonna take your stuff, okay?"

* * *

"This is my kind of weather," Sanji mused as the ship became surrounded with murky fog. Zoro and Luffy nodded in agreement.

"That's 'cause you guys are weirdo vampire freaks," Usopp said under his breath.

"You realize we have weirdo vampire freak hearing, right?" Zoro muttered. Usopp backed up a few steps.

* * *

"No mirrors!" Brook cried, but it was too late: Usopp and Chopper spied their own reflections in the mirror, but not Brook's behind them.

"No reflection?!" Chopper exclaimed.

"Don't tell me you're a vampire," Usopp groaned, looking to the floor. "You don't have a shadow?! Damn it!"

"How can a skeleton be a vampire?" Zoro muttered. He eyed Brook. "You're definitely a non-human, but that must be because you're a skeleton. Were you a vampire in life, after all?"

Brook shuddered. "A scary creature like that? Certainly not! The reason I do not have my shadow is—what's so funny?"

Robin, Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, and Franky had been laughing behind their hands.

"Yeah, vampires are really scary," Sanji said quite seriously. "Listen, pal, you're a _skeleton_. We've no interest in feeding off of you."

"That's a good point," Brook said thoughtfully. "But the _idea_—er, Sanji-_san_, did you say 'we?'"

At this, Luffy slid off his chair in giggles. Brook looked to the floor at last, and he surely would've frowned if possible.

"One, two, three, four, five," he muttered, pointing to each shadow on the floor. He looked back up and pointed to everyone in turn. "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight . . ."

He counted the shadows and the members again.

"Oh, dear me," he murmured. "You poor souls, you've already come across that man!"

"That man?" Zoro repeated.

"Surely you know who I'm referring to!" Brook exclaimed. "The man who steals shadows!"

Confused glances were cast around the table.

"No one _stole_ our shadows," Sanji said at last. "We're vampires." He gestured to himself, Zoro, and Luffy.

Brook screamed.

"What the hell are you screaming about?!" Usopp yelled. "You don't have any blood, do you?!"

"But—_vampires?" _Brook exclaimed, catching his breath, nonexistent as it was.

Luffy grinned, showing off pointed teeth. "Yeah! Like Sanji said, we couldn't drink from you if we wanted to!"

Brook nervously adjusted his ascot. "I see . . ."

"Brook, was it?" Robin said. "What was that about a man who steals shadows?"

* * *

"At last!" Moria cried, looming over Luffy like the giant pear he was. "Strawhat Luffy! When I take your shadow, I can finally awaken the giant Oars!"

Luffy stuck out his tongue, having chewed through his gag. "Fat chance you'll take anything from _me_, stupid leek!"

"We'll just see about _that!" _

But when Moria raised his giant scissors, he looked to the floor, and then back to Luffy.

"What the HELL?!" he shrieked, making Luffy wince. "You don't have a shadow, either?! But I couldn't have taken all _three_ of yours!"

"All three?" Luffy said. He looked around. "Oh! Zoro, Sanji! There you guys are!"

"About _time_," Zoro muttered. He and Sanji had managed to prop themselves in a corner. "This asshole tried to take our shadows."

Luffy grinned and turned to Moria again, sticking out his tongue. "Too bad, Moron-ia! We don't have no shadows!"

"It's _any_ shadows!" Moria exclaimed. "Wait, why am I correcting your grammar?!"

He threw Luffy into the corner on top of Zoro and Sanji.

"Vampire control doesn't work on this guy," Sanji said, keeping an eye on Moria. "We both tried it. He's immune."

Luffy frowned. "Well, shoot. What're we gonna do, then?"

Moria had turned around, muttering to himself angrily. Zoro eyed the spider-mice, standing at attention nearby.

"I have an idea," he muttered. He cleared his throat. "Hey, you guys!"

The spider-mice looked over.

"You," Zoro said, nodding to one in particular. "Get over here and untie us."

The spider-mouse scuttled to him, sweating nervously, while the others stared at it incredulously.

"And don't say a word," Sanji added. Luffy grinned as the mouse began to loosen their bonds.

Moria turned around at last. "If I can't take your shadows, I'll have to _kill you_ instead! WAIT, HOW DID YOU GET FREE?!"

"Super-cool magic powers!" Luffy announced, standing and swinging his arms around. Zoro and Sanji straightened up, eyeing Moria with disdain. The spider-mouse scuttled away, free of control and hoping to be free of Moria's wrath.

"Minions!" Moria shrieked. "Kill them!"

The zombies charged towards the three, and they tensed—but a battle cry made them look over. Usopp, Nami, and Chopper had burst out of the bear zombie.

"Guys!" Luffy exclaimed in delight. "You're okay!"

"Luffy, Zoro, Sanji!" Chopper cried. "Let's go! We've gotta regroup with the others back at Sunny!"

"Now?" Zoro demanded. "This guy's being a pain in the ass!"

"Yes, _now!" _Nami exclaimed. "Now's not the time to argue!"

Moria had already vanished among the shadows. Luffy noticed this and groaned.

"Fine!" he snapped. "Let's go, I'll find him and kick his ass later!"

* * *

"Wait, where's Nami-_san?" _

The Strawhats minus Nami had managed to meet up at Sunny safely, though they found that many of their supplies had mysteriously vanished.

"Oh, shoot, she must've been captured," Usopp exclaimed in horror. "That pervert lion _was_ hanging around her an awful lot—!"

Sanji let out a scream of fury.

"Calm down, idiot, you can go save her later," Zoro snapped. "We need to make plans right now. Besides, don't you trust her? She'll be fine."

Sanji's hands were clenched so tightly it was a wonder he didn't break any bones.

"Right," he muttered. "Nami-_san_ is our first priority . . ."

"Hey, after we talk, can we get some blood?" Luffy piped up. "I'm a little worn-down."

Zoro and Sanji nodded.

"Certainly," Robin agreed, "but let's make it quick."

Usopp groaned. "Why can't Nami be here . . . why is it just me and Robin . . ."

"You can do it," Zoro said seriously. "You're brave, aren't you?"

Usopp looked ready to cry.

* * *

With no Jigoro or Denguin to stop them, Robin and Chopper successfully released Cindry's shadow. Her body fell to the floor, lifeless once more, and Hogback cried out in horror.

"My Cindry-_chan!" _he cried. "My beautiful Cindry! What have you done, you brutes?!"

"That wasn't her, Hogback!" Chopper exclaimed. "Cindry is dead! She couldn't have ever really come back! You of all people should know that!"

Hogback fell to his knees in utter despair, staring at Cindry's lifeless body.

"I'll get another shadow," he muttered to himself. He looked up at Robin and Chopper. "Yes, I'll ask Moria-_sama_ to take one of yours! Then she can live again!"

Robin and Chopper turned away.

"Is he even worth it?" Robin murmured.

* * *

"Damn it," Sanji hissed, looking around. With Absalom vanishing every other minute, he was unable to fix his eyes on him long enough to control him—not to mention this made him harder to kick.

* * *

"My shadow!" Brook cried happily, dancing in place and watching his shadow follow him. "You're back! Don't ever leave again! Zoro-_san_, you have thanks from the bottom of my heart—not that I have one!"

Zoro grinned. "It's nothing. Just keep an eye on that thing."

Brook hesitated. "Do you ever miss your own shadow, Zoro-_san_? Forgive me if that is rude."

"Nah," Zoro muttered with a shrug. "I wouldn't say it was _stolen_ from me . . . it just kinda up and vanished. Makes it easier to sneak around in light, anyway."

They began walking together.

"How do you and the others keep out of the sun during your travels?"

"Lots of sunscreen and caution."

* * *

"Whoa, what the hell is _that?!" _

The Strawhats stared up at the giant Oars in amazement.

"Strawhat Luffy!" Moria shrieked from inside Oars's stomach. "Since I couldn't take _your _shadow, I thought a hundred ordinary shadows would more than make up for that! Therefore, I stuffed Oars's body with the shadows of a hundred zombies!"

"What?" Luffy yelled. "That's kinda lame!"

"How _dare_ you!"

* * *

Working together, Nightmare Luffy and his crew managed to take down the giant Oars, only to find themselves facing Moria, stuffed with a thousand shadows.

"Try to take me on _now, _Strawhats!"

* * *

The morning sun began rising, the island having been shaken out of its foggy weather by the impact of the fight. Slowly, Robin, Zoro, Luffy, and Sanji began to burn . . .

But just before they faded away, Robin's shadow returned to her, and Usopp and Franky had the foresight to seize three shadows flying away and stuff them into Luffy, Zoro, and Sanji.

"Get behind the ruins, hurry!" Usopp exclaimed, shoving them even as they recovered. "Those shadows won't stay in you for long!"

Franky produced a bottle of sunscreen and tossed it to them.

* * *

"ZORO!"

"What the hell happened?!"

"I don't know, I found him like this!"

"He's badly wounded! Who's the doctor?! Wait, it's me!"

"Where did all these injuries come from?!"

"Never mind that, we need to fix him up stat!"

"He needs blood! As much as possible! Guys, he's a vampire, if we get enough blood into him he should heal faster!"

"We need donors! Blood type doesn't matter as long as you're a human!"

"Hurry!"

* * *

Though it was impossible for Chopper to detect health through any breathing or heartbeat irregularities, Zoro appeared to be on the road to recovery, and Luffy and Sanji predicted he would wake within the next week.

* * *

"So . . . want to join the crew?"

Brook shrugged. "Yeah, why not?"

Luffy grinned, ignoring Sanji and Usopp yelling in protest. "You aren't scared, huh?"

Brook chuckled. "What you said earlier is true; I don't have blood to shed! And besides . . . I do trust you three enough not to take my blood without permission, had I any at the moment!"

Luffy laughed at this. "Yeah, we try to ask with friends! Welcome aboard, Brook!"


	108. Roles

**ForeverAWSOMEAuraSpaceDragon requested WW Luffy and Vivi talking during their desert hike. (Spacedragon, did you know your name takes up an entire line in my notes?) **

**Non-humans: WW Luffy**

* * *

"Luffy-_san_ . . . ?"

Luffy turned his head to face Vivi from where he lay in the sand. The desert sun had yet to rise, and the others were sound asleep.

"Oh, good, you are awake," Vivi said with a small smile.

Luffy gave her a sleepy grin. "Something up?" he asked, pushing himself up.

Vivi fiddled with her hands. "I woke early, and I was thinking . . . you're a werewolf, Luffy-_san_ . . ."

"Yeah?" Luffy brought his tail around to play with.

"Do you ever—" she smiled awkwardly. "I was apprehensive when I learned about it . . . has anyone ever been hostile to you for what you are?"

Luffy shrugged. "I haven't told a bunch of people," he admitted. "Got no reason to, and when we found out about it . . . Ace told me to keep it secret just in case." He grinned. "But everyone who's found out is nice about it sooner or later. Usopp and Nami were a little nervous at first, but they're fine now."

"I see . . ." Vivi brought her ponytail around, running her fingers through it.

"Do you like being a princess?" Luffy said abruptly.

"Pardon?"

Luffy repeated himself.

"I don't know," Vivi admitted. "I've never been anything else, not counting working as Miss Wednesday . . ." She shook her head. "Sometimes I wish I had less responsibility, but I've never really wished I wasn't a princess."

"Oh, okay," Luffy said easily. "I was just kinda wondering, since you were born with it and all, how you'd know."

Vivi smiled. "It's true, I really don't know . . . but I'm not unhappy."

Luffy grinned.

"What about you?" Vivi blurted out. "Do you like being a werewolf?"

Luffy's smile faded.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked—"

"Well, no, it's okay," Luffy said, rubbing his sandals together and watching the grit fall. "It's different for me, 'cause even though I got bit when I was really small, I haven't been transforming my whole life."

Vivi nodded, adjusting her hair and flipping it back.

"Werewolves are cool, but I think I prefer being human," Luffy said at last. "Sure, I've got a good nose, and ear rubs feel really good, but transforming is painful, I miss color, and I hate putting my friends in danger. If I ever . . . attacked one of them, I . . ."

He hugged his knees. "I wish there was a way to reverse it."

"I'm sorry," Vivi murmured. "If it's any consolation . . . this crew is very strong, and even the weaker members can be protected if the time comes."

Luffy smiled again. "Yeah, they're really strong!" he said proudly. "Only thing is, it hurts a little bit because I'm supposed to protect them, and I do the opposite when I'm transformed. But . . . yeah, they're strong, everything's gonna be fine!"

He seemed to be talking more to himself with these final words. Vivi smiled nonetheless.

"Everything's going to be fine," she echoed, gazing into the direction their trek would take them come daylight.


	109. When Teeth Meet Metal

**It just occurred to me: Holy shit I am really sorry if saying "normal human" about Franky for the Modern AU came across as offensive. Basically, he doesn't run on any cyborg/robot parts; the AU is kind of a place where no one was physically injured really badly in the past (because I'm bad at thinking things through and frankly the AU isn't as well-developed as some other stories I've written). Zoro doesn't have those big scars, Nami doesn't have a tattoo (though I wouldn't put it past her to get one, even being underage), Franky wasn't hit by a train or car or anything... and Chopper and Brook aren't a reindeer and actual skeleton. ****Once again, I'm very sorry if that came out wrong. **

**ForeverAWSOMEAuraSpaceDragon requested Chopper and Franky being attacked by a werewolf! **

**Non-humans: WW Zoro **

* * *

"OW!"

Chopper shook his arm and Zoro (in wolf form) hastily let go, only to charge for Franky right behind him—

"Whoa, there!" Franky yelled, but Zoro had already clamped onto Franky's huge metal arm. Yet moments after, he released him with a whimper.

"Sorry, Bro," Franky said as metal gleamed from beneath the faux flesh. "Nothing for you to chew on here."

"Franky-_san_, back inside, if you would," Brook exclaimed, shoving Zoro away. Franky nodded and ran to the door.

"Chopper-_san_?" Brook said once Zoro had calmed down. "Are you alright?"

Chopper, still in his human form, nodded even as his eyes watered. "Yeah," he whispered. "I'm gonna—I gotta bandage myself up."

"It's a good thing werewolves don't affect you," Brook said gravely. He knelt next to Zoro. "Zoro-_san_, what were you thinking?"

Zoro grumbled something and looked away, tail drooping.

"He said he wasn't thinking straight and thought I was human," Chopper said. "Zoro, it's okay—I'll be right back!"

* * *

Zoro shuffled his feet, the sun high in the sky. Brook stood in front of him, his stance rather stern. Franky and Chopper were nearby.

"Sorry, Chopper," he murmured. He knelt and held out his arms. "Didn't mean it. You okay?"

"Yeah," Chopper exclaimed, his little arm bandaged up quite well. He jumped onto Zoro, resting his head on his shoulder. "I'll be fine."

"Don't I get an apology?" Franky muttered.

Zoro shot him a glare. "Not until you explain why you thought coming out last night was a good idea!"

"Look, when you gotta go, you gotta—"

"Just knock and tell Brook or Chopper next time! Don't try to sneak! Now I'm _sorry_ for biting you, okay?" A sudden shadow of concern passed across his face. "You're not a werewolf now, are you?"

"Nah," Franky said with a shrug. "You just hit metal. My back's the only real fleshy part of me anymore, and I'd like to see you bite into _that_."

"Fair point," Zoro said, letting go of Chopper, "but that doesn't excuse you being reckless, you know."

"You're one to talk—"

"I mean, despite being mostly metal, you probably don't want to deal with an aggressive attacker trying to tear into every inch of you," Zoro continued. He glanced down and saw Chopper shaking. "Chopper, don't cry."

"Did you make Chopper cry?" Nami exclaimed, pausing as she passed by. "Chopper, come here, don't let him bully you—"

"I wasn't bullying anyone!"


	110. Nightly Visit

**phonenix requested Ace visiting WW Luffy! **

**Non-humans: WW Luffy **

* * *

Luffy draped himself over the railing, staring up at Sanji hopefully.

Sanji sighed. "Look, we're _both_ supposed to be on watch, aren't we? If I scratch your ears, you're probably going to fall asleep."

"Scratch my ears and I'll let you make me a snack," Luffy offered.

Sanji rolled his eyes. "Wow, you got me there. That sure is a good deal."

Regardless, he made Luffy flip back over and knelt by him, running his fingers behind his ears. Luffy closed his eyes as his tail twitched lazily.

Luffy had almost fallen asleep when Sanji removed his hand.

"Hm?" he murmured, looking up. "Why'd you stop?"

"Someone's there," Sanji muttered. "Looks like they're asleep, but we should keep an eye out just in case."

Luffy scanned the waters and spotted someone reclining in a small boat not far off. He squinted and suddenly his eyes lit up.

"We're fine," he said, grinning. "That's no enemy."

With no warning, he stretched out his arm and snatched something from the person. But before he could bring it back, his wrist was seized—the person hadn't dropped their guard while resting.

Luffy was caught off-balance and fell overboard. Sanji and the person gave shouts of surprise, and Sanji instantly kicked off his shoes and leapt into the water—but Luffy was gone. The person hadn't let go of his wrist and pulled him into the boat.

Sanji surfaced next to the boat, bobbing in the waves.

"Sorry, didn't mean to brine your captain," Ace said with a sheepish grin as Luffy spat out some water. "Still want him back?"

* * *

Ace accepted the invitation to the Merry, though he said he shouldn't stay long. Luffy managed to get everyone back on deck and tied Ace's boat to the railing.

"What're you doing here, anyway?" Luffy said happily, clinging to Ace like a baby koala. "Did you come to visit?"

"Hardly," Ace said with a grin. "Is it so unusual to pass by each other?"

"Small world," Sanji muttered. "You guys want a snack? Drinks?"

"Meat!"

"Coffee, please?"

Sanji nodded and headed inside. Ace gently scratched Luffy's ears until Luffy relaxed to the point where he fell to the deck.

"Good to know you're still a puppy," he said, helping Luffy back up. "How's everything?"

"We got another crewmate since I last saw you!" Luffy said proudly. "Her name's Robin and she's really smart and loves history!"

"Robin?" Ace murmured. "I swear I've heard that name . . . well, it probably isn't important. Good for you."

"And we're gonna get a shipwright soon," Luffy added. "'Cause Usopp isn't very good at it and the Sky Island was really hard on Merry."

"Sky Island?" Ace repeated, bemused. "Don't tell me you flew on the Knock-Up Stream?"

Luffy grinned. "Sure did! We flew through the sky!"

"I'm sure you did," Ace said, messing Luffy's hair.

Sanji returned with food, which Luffy snatched up and Ace accepted with a thank-you.

"Hope he isn't causing you trouble," Ace added to Sanji.

"Not at all," Sanji said politely. "Or at least, no more than usual."

Luffy frowned. "Since when do I cause trouble?"

"Since you can't go anywhere without a chaperone," Sanji shot back. "Or we can't take our eyes off you for a minute without you drugging yourself on some plant."

Ace snorted into his coffee. "Excuse me?"

"But it's really fun, so it's okay," Luffy said patiently, shoving more meat into his mouth.

"It's fun for _you_, but then we have to wait hours for you to sober up."

Ace tapped Luffy's shoulder. "Don't do stupid shit, Lu."

"It's not stupid if someone's with me," Luffy protested. Sanji kicked his shin.

* * *

"I should go," Ace said, handing back his empty cup. "Thanks for the coffee."

"How's your hunt going?" Luffy exclaimed, only just remembering.

"He's close," Ace said, a shadow of something passing across his face. "I'm sure I'll find him very soon. And when I do . . ."

He clenched his hands, which began smoking.

"He's close," he repeated, shaking his hands to put them out. "Luffy, Sanji, good to see you guys again. Luffy—hope to see you soon, yeah?"

Luffy wrapped his arms around Ace in a tight squeeze before letting go.

"Yeah!"

* * *

**Anyone going to Sakura-con Mar 26th? I'll be cosplaying Madotsuki from Yume Nikki! **


	111. April Fool's Day 2

**Happy April Fool's Day! This probably doesn't need an NSFW warning, right? Right. **

**Non-humans: WW Luffy **

* * *

Luffy draped his booty over the railing, staring up at Sanji's booty hopefully.

Sanji sighed. "Look, we're _both_ supposed to be on watch, aren't we? If I scratch your booty, you're probably going to fall asleep."

"Scratch my booty and I'll let you make me a snack," Luffy offered.

Sanji rolled his eyes. "Wow, you got me there. That sure is a good booty."

Regardless, he made Luffy flip back over and knelt by him, running his fingers behind his booty. Luffy closed his eyes as his booty twitched lazily.

Luffy had almost fallen asleep when Sanji removed his booty.

"Hm?" he murmured, looking up. "Why'd you stop?"

"Someone's booty's there," Sanji muttered. "Looks like they're asleep, but we should keep a booty out just in case."

Luffy scanned the booty and spotted someone reclining in a small boat not far off. He squinted and suddenly his booty lit up.

"We're fine," he said, grinning. "That's no booty."

With no warning, he stretched out his booty and snatched something from the person. But before he could bring it back, his booty was seized—the person hadn't dropped their guard while resting.

Luffy was caught off-balance and fell overboard. Sanji and the person gave shouts of surprise, and Sanji instantly kicked off his shoes and leapt into the water—but Luffy was gone. The person hadn't let go of his booty and pulled him into the boat.

Sanji surfaced next to the boat, bobbing in the waves.

"Sorry, didn't mean to brine your booty," Ace said with a sheepish grin as Luffy spat out some water. "Still want his booty back?"

* * *

Ace accepted the invitation to the Merry, though he said he shouldn't stay long. Luffy managed to get everyone back on the booty and tied Ace's booty to the railing.

"What're you doing here, anyway?" Luffy said happily, clinging to Ace like a baby koala. "Did you come to visit?"

"Hardly," Ace said with a grin. "Is it so unusual to pass by each other?"

"Small booty," Sanji muttered. "You guys want a snack? Drinks?"

"Meat!"

"Coffee, please?"

Sanji nodded and headed inside. Ace gently scratched Luffy's booty until Luffy relaxed to the point where he fell to the deck.

"Good to know you're still a puppy," he said, helping Luffy back up. "How's everyone's booty?"

"We got another booty since I last saw you!" Luffy said proudly. "Her name's Robin and she's really smart and loves booties!"

"Robin?" Ace murmured. "I swear I've heard that name . . . well, it probably isn't important. Good for you."

"And we're gonna get a booty soon," Luffy added. "'Cause Usopp isn't very good at it and the Booty Island was really hard on Merry."

"Booty Island?" Ace repeated, bemused. "Don't tell me you flew on the Knock-Up Booty?"

Luffy grinned. "Sure did! We flew through the booty!"

"I'm sure you did," Ace said, messing Luffy's booty.

Sanji returned with a booty, which Luffy snatched up and Ace accepted with a thank-you.

"Hope he isn't causing you trouble," Ace added to Sanji.

"Not at all," Sanji said politely. "Or at least, no more than usual."

Luffy frowned. "Since when do I cause trouble?"

"Since you can't go anywhere without a booty," Sanji shot back. "Or we can't take our eyes off you for a minute without you drugging yourself on some booty."

Ace snorted into his booty. "Excuse me?"

"But it's really fun, so it's okay," Luffy said patiently, shoving more booty into his mouth.

"It's fun for _you_, but then we have to wait hours for you to sober up."

Ace tapped Luffy's booty. "Don't do stupid shit, Lu."

"It's not stupid if someone's with me," Luffy protested. Sanji kicked his booty.

* * *

"I should go," Ace said, handing back his empty cup. "Thanks for the booty."

"How's your booty going?" Luffy exclaimed, only just remembering.

"He's close," Ace said, a shadow of something passing across his booty. "I'm sure I'll find him very soon. And when I do . . ."

He clenched his booty, which began smoking.

"He's close," he repeated, shaking his booty to put it out. "Luffy, Sanji, good to see your booties again. Luffy—hope to see your booty soon, yeah?"

Luffy wrapped his booty around Ace in a tight squeeze before letting go.

"Yeah!"


	112. Acceptance

**Hey, yo, before we start, I gotta respond to some anon reviews and stuff... **

**To the anon from chapter 74: Wow, that's super-flattering! If you mean this story in particular, no, I haven't really considered trying to get it professionally published. Even if I changed up the characters and the setting, there's no real plot to this story, it's all a bunch of what-if scenarios. Not to discredit it as a story, I just don't think it could work as a "real book."  
If you were asking about my other writing endeavors, I certainly have considered trying to publish professionally, and I'm working on some original fiction! But school and fanworks take up a lot of time...! Maybe one day...! **

**To the anon from chapter 111: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA OH MY GOD THAT'S SO SWEET I ACTUALLY CRIED WHEN I READ THAT HOLY SHIT **

**... **

**I realized the other day I should have included Sanji's fighting scene in chapter 97 (where he and Nami are vampires and Usopp's a werewolf). Basically, he wouldn't have had breathing problems during the fight (not needing to breathe and all), but he still would've been slow in the water in terms of movement. Plus, he would've had to hack up a lot of water from his lungs before he could talk again. **

**ON TO THE CHAPTER! **

**Gamma Cavy requested Vampire Usopp and WW Sanji joining the crew! **

**Non-humans: WW Sanji, Vampire Usopp **

* * *

"CAPTAIN USOPP!"

Usopp awoke with a start to find Pepper, Onion, and Carrot bursting into his house.

"Close the _door!" _he shrieked, covering himself with the blanket.

"Sorry!" they exclaimed simultaneously, hastily slamming the door shut.

"What is it, guys?" Usopp said, pushing away the blanket and yawning. "E—Emergency?"

"Pirates!" Onion cried. "There are pirates landing on the north beach!"

"Liar," Usopp mumbled, covering his head with his pillow.

"He's serious!" Pepper yelled. "I saw them!"

"Me, too!" Carrot yelled.

"Me, three!" Onion exclaimed.

Usopp removed the pillow, arms shaking.

"You're telling the truth," he whispered. All three nodded firmly.

"Okay," Usopp said. "I'm . . . going back to sleep."

"Coward!" Pepper said, scowling.

"No, you don't understand, I have a disease called 'I'll-Die-if-I-Don't-Sleep-Right-Now-itis.'"

"Liar!" Carrot exclaimed. "C'mon, we gotta protect the village!"

Usopp groaned and sat up, throwing off the blanket. "What am I supposed to do?!"

"You can use your cool vampire powers to stop them, right?" Onion pointed out.

Usopp's eyes widened. "I didn't even think of that! Okay, I'll meet you outside in a second, gotta cover up—"

The kids saluted and ran out.

"CLOSE THE DOOR!"

* * *

"Someone's there . . ."

Nami and Luffy looked around as Zoro said this.

"Who?" Luffy said. "I don't—"

"Pirates!"

The three turned to the top of the cliff to see someone covered head-to-toe in winter attire, complete with a balaclava, scarf, and mittens. An unusually long nose pushed the mask slightly forward.

"I am the great Captain Usopp!" Usopp declared, pointing dramatically. "I have an army of eight thousand men behind me! Leave this village peacefully or we'll _make_ you leave!"

Behind him, six small flags waved from the bushes, held by six tiny hands.

"So . . . three people?" Nami said.

The kids shrieked and ran away, leaving Usopp alone.

"Well—no matter!" he exclaimed, sliding down the cliff and facing Luffy. "I have far greater power than all three of you combined!"

"Is that so?" Zoro muttered. "What's with the clothes, anyway? It's summer."

"Silence!" Usopp exclaimed. "I shall prove my fantastic power!"

He eyed Luffy, eyes just showing under the mask. "Don't move a muscle!"

Luffy froze in place. Attempts to move resulted in barely-there twitches.

"Luffy?" Nami said cautiously. "Are you kidding around?"

"Nope," Luffy said, his tone growing oddly excited. "I really can't move."

He grinned. "Hey, you. Can you take off your mask for a second?"

Usopp used a gloved hand to keep his face in the shade as he showed Luffy his face for a split second.

"What was that about?" he muttered, hastily putting the mask back on. "Don't make me take away your voice, too!"

But Luffy just gave him a broad smile.

"You know . . . you and your dad have a lot in common, Usopp!"

At this, Usopp fell comically backwards, breaking his gaze and allowing Luffy to move again.

"You know this guy, Luffy?" Zoro muttered. "I don't know why I should be surprised, really."

"First time meeting," Luffy said cheerfully. "You _are_ Usopp, aren't you?"

"How—did you know my name?" Usopp exclaimed, scrambling to stand again. "Who are you?! You know my dad?!"

Luffy scratched his nose. "You wanna go somewhere out of the sun first? All that clothing sure looks uncomfortable."

* * *

Once inside his house with Luffy, Zoro, and Nami, Usopp shed his clothing with a sigh of relief.

"It's warm, but it _is_ a little bit uncomfortable," he said sheepishly.

"So you're a vampire, huh?" Luffy said cheerfully.

Usopp jumped and Nami shrieked.

"That's really cool," Luffy continued. "I only know 'cause you're the second vampire I've ever met!"

Zoro sat against the wall, rubbing his temple. "Again, I shouldn't be surprised . . ."

Usopp turned to Luffy, eyes wide. "Are . . . so you're not scared?"

"Speak for yourself," Nami hissed, edging away from Usopp, who gave her a rather hurt look. Luffy just grinned.

"I'm not scared," Luffy stated. "Most vampires are harmless, right? They might take your blood and knock you out, but most aren't gonna kill."

Usopp nodded. Nami edged forward again, curiosity getting the better of her, though she remained behind Luffy.

"So . . ." Usopp sat on the edge of his bed. "You mentioned my dad . . . ?"

"Yasopp," Luffy said, plunking himself on the floor (Nami followed hastily to keep herself behind him). "I guess you don't know, but he's a vampire, too!"

Usopp's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. "Really?!"

Luffy laughed. "Yeah! He's on Shanks' crew, and he talked about you a lot! He told me he died from a vampire and came back to life as one, and he loved alcohol!"

"He's a vampire, too," Usopp whispered. Something about him seemed to glow. "I'm not alone!"

"How'd it happen to you?" Nami asked.

Usopp frowned. "There was a traveller . . . she said she wanted to show me a magic trick, but then she said she guessed she messed it up and ended up leaving the next day anyway. Then I found out I couldn't go in the sun . . . or eat normal food . . ."

He hugged his knees to his chest. "Being a vampire sucks."

Zoro snickered.

"So do you drink from people in the village?" Luffy asked curiously. "Yasopp always did it from the crew, and they always let him, even though they complained."

Usopp shuddered. "Well, yes—but don't _remind_ me, I _hate_ biting people!"

"A vampire who hates biting people," Nami repeated.

Usopp frowned at her. "Leave me alone . . . it was hard enough doing it the first time."

"So everyone in the village knows about you?" Zoro said, glancing around as if bored.

Usopp shook his head. "No one knows. I figured out how to get rid of memories in sheer panic, actually. The only ones who do know are—"

At this moment, Pepper, Onion, and Carrot burst into the house.

"Close the door!" Usopp shrieked, throwing the blanket over himself.

"Sorry," they chorused, slamming it shut again. Usopp removed the blanket.

"Captain, do you need help?" Pepper exclaimed. "You didn't stop them?"

"Are they trying to hurt you?" Onion demanded.

"Attack!" Carrot yelled, and all three raised their wooden swords with battle cries.

"Wait, stop," Usopp ordered, and they froze in place. He broke his hold before continuing, "It's okay! These guys aren't gonna attack—right?"

Luffy shook his head.

"Yeah, they're good," Usopp said, grinning.

"So you guys know Captain's a vampire?" Carrot asked.

Pepper and Onion tackled him to the ground, covering his mouth.

"Shut up!" Pepper exclaimed. "What if they didn't know?!"

"They know _now_, you dummy!" Onion exclaimed.

"Dummy!"

"Stupid!"

"Uh, they know," Usopp said. "It's okay."

Luffy laughed. "You guys are funny!"

* * *

Usopp had panicked when asked about talking to the owner of the mansion on the hill, only to pull on his winter clothes, claim he needed to go somewhere, and run off. The kids explained shortly after what Usopp did for Kaya, the bedridden heiress, despite that he lost sleep because of it.

"That's really sweet of him," Nami murmured.

"So he confides in you kids about his vampirism?" Zoro said.

They glanced at each other.

"Kinda-sorta," Onion mumbled. "We found out by accident."

"We caught him sucking my mom's _blood_," Pepper exclaimed, waving his arms. "And he freaked out and we freaked out too, and then he put her to sleep and, well . . ."

"We kinda . . . ran away," Carrot mumbled shamefacedly. "'Cause vampires are scary."

"But then, then we felt bad 'cause Captain Usopp's not scary, and he's scared of way more things than things are scared of him," Onion exclaimed. "So we found him and said sorry and everything's okay now!"

Luffy laughed. "Well, that's good! Hey, Nami, Zoro, we should go see him and that girl! Maybe she'll give us a ship?"

* * *

"That butler probably suspects me now," Usopp mumbled as Luffy sat by him on the cliff.

"Huh?" Luffy said.

"I panicked and made him freeze back there," Usopp said, drawing his knees to his chest, eyes just visible under his balaclava. "He probably knows something's up now."

"He's a jerk, so don't worry what he thinks," Luffy said bluntly. "By the way, do you not have sunscreen . . . ?"

"Huh?"

"Yasopp always used strong sunscreen when he was going in the sunlight," Luffy explained. "It's probably more comfy than all those clothes."

Usopp's eyes widened. "Really?! Wow! There's a little store not far from here, I should go buy some—"

But voices on the beach drew their attention away.

* * *

"Who says we can trust you?!"

"Something's not natural about sleeping the day away, even for a teenager!"

"Wait, but—I'm telling the truth!"

"GET HIM!"

* * *

After meeting Luffy, waking him up, sending the kids away, and coming up with a plan, Usopp raised a gloved hand.

"Can we work on this later?" he said timidly. "I need sleep."

Luffy grinned. "Sure! Sun's setting soon, get as much as you can!"

Usopp nodded and headed up the cliff, finding a tree to hide under.

* * *

"That's better . . ."

Usopp pulled off the last of the thick clothing, leaving him in overalls. He yawned and looked around.

"Right, okay," he muttered. "First thing's first . . ."

* * *

"Where'd you get the sunscreen?" Luffy asked in surprise.

Usopp looked away. "I kinda . . . snuck into the store . . . I left money on the counter."

"Hey, before we start, are you thirsty?" Luffy asked. "'Cause you can drink from me if you need to!"

Usopp shook his head. "Nope, no thanks, I had some blood last night, I'm good!"

* * *

Usopp managed to apply the sunscreen before dawn and was quite relieved when he didn't burn in the rays of light.

Once Nami had caught up with him on the north beach, she surveyed the situation and said, "So can you stop these guys with your vampire powers? Like what you did yesterday . . ."

Usopp shook his head. "One or two, maybe even three, but all of them? There's no way!"

Nami sighed. "Wow, you're useful."

"No one asked you!"

* * *

"Captain!"

Usopp turned. "Guys?! Miss Kaya?!"

"You're not burning?" Pepper exclaimed. "Cool! Anyway—"

"Get out of here!" Usopp exclaimed. "It's dangerous—!"

"Usopp-_san_, you're hurt!" Kaya cried.

"This is nothing," Usopp protested.

"Miss Kaya . . ."

Kaya drew a gun, to Usopp's shock, and pointed it at Kuro.

"Do you really want to protect this creature?" he said coolly. "He's a vampire. A disgusting beast of the night."

"Hey!" Luffy yelled. "Don't talk about him that way!"

"You're lying," Kaya exclaimed, arms shaking. "What kind of a lie is that, anyway?! Usopp-_san_'s not a vampire!"

Usopp gulped. "Kaya . . ."

"You're not, right?" Kaya exclaimed, turning to him.

When Usopp hesitated, she faltered, and Kuro approached.

* * *

"So . . . you really are . . . a vampire?"

Usopp hung his head, face turned deliberately away from Kaya as Zoro sat against a tree.

"Yeah," he whispered.

"He's a vampire, but he's not scary!" Pepper exclaimed.

"He's the best and he doesn't kill people!" Carrot added.

"And he's really cool!" Onion said firmly.

Kaya sat next to Usopp.

"It's okay . . ."

Usopp looked up.

"I understand why you wouldn't tell me," she murmured. "It's okay. I don't care what you are . . . you're Usopp. You're my friend."

* * *

"What?"

"Get on board," Luffy repeated.

"But . . ." Usopp laughed nervously. "I'm a _vampire_. I'd only cause trouble down the line, I'm nocturnal, I can't go in the sun normally . . . I . . ."

His eyes began watering.

"I . . ."

"We're waiting," Zoro said impatiently.

* * *

Usopp stared at Sanji as he fought with Luffy, forcing him back to the kitchens.

"And what're you staring at, long-nose?" Sanji snapped, turning to him.

"Uh, nothing," Usopp exclaimed. Zoro and Nami glanced between him and Sanji.

"Oh, are you waiting for your food?" Sanji said, glancing down. "Those damn idiots—"

"No, no, I didn't order anything, I'm not hungry," Usopp said quickly. Sanji eyed him and sniffed the air, narrowing his eyes.

"Well, okay then," he muttered. He stalked closer and bent over Usopp, sniffing his neck. Usopp stiffened and Zoro and Nami stared at Sanji.

Finally, Sanji straightened back up, glaring at Usopp.

"I'll have something to say about it if you dare touch this restaurant," he snapped.

"Huh?" Usopp exclaimed. "I wouldn't . . . I wouldn't do anything like that."

Sanji gave him a nod and left.

"What the hell was that about?" Zoro muttered.

"He wasn't a human," Usopp whispered. "I can—I can tell."

Nami straightened up. "Another vampire?"

Usopp shook his head. "I don't think so. He was pretty pale, but not like _vampire_ pale . . ."

"So what was he?" Zoro muttered.

Usopp shrugged. "Something else . . . I hope he's not dangerous . . ." He stood. "I'm going back to the ship."

* * *

"What the hell are you doing?"

Usopp jumped and guiltily turned to see Sanji staring at him. He dropped the arm of the cook he'd been drinking from and frantically wiped the man's memory, sending him to the floor again.

"Hi," Usopp whispered.

Sanji took a step forward. "I thought I told you to leave this restaurant and the cooks alone, you damn _bastard_—"

Usopp held up a hand. "S-Stop!"

Sanji froze in place. A growl built in his throat.

"D—Don't speak," Usopp whispered. With Sanji now immobile and mute, Usopp took a deep breath. "Sorry, I didn't—didn't want you yelling—"

He swallowed and carefully allowed Sanji to speak again. Sanji narrowed his eyes. "You have five seconds to explain before I shout."

"I'm-a-vampire-I-was-really-thirsty-I'm-so-sorry-please-don't-kill-me!"

Usopp looked away, allowing Sanji to move again, though he remained where he was.

"A vampire," Sanji muttered. "You've gotta be kidding."

"I'm sorry," Usopp whispered. "I don't _want_ to bite people, and I don't kill people, I promise, I just—"

"If that's the case, it's fine."

Usopp looked up again.

"I understand not wanting to starve," Sanji continued, "and since you're not killing anyone . . . it's fine."

"Okay," Usopp whispered. "Good. Sorry."

A pause.

"You're not scared?"

Sanji shrugged, reached into the back of his pants, and pulled out his tail. Usopp's eyes widened as they followed its twitching.

"I've got no reason to be scared of someone who drinks _human_ blood."

"Oh," Usopp said dumbly. "What . . . ?"

"Werewolf. Nice to meet you, vampire."

Usopp gulped. "O . . . Okay."

Sanji grinned. "Don't tell me _you're_ scared."

Usopp shook his head quickly.

"Liar. Hey, let's walk."

* * *

Usopp ended up telling Sanji how he'd become a vampire, and how he'd been forced to live in secrecy, and how Luffy and Zoro and Nami had accepted him as one of their own despite him not being human.

Sanji told Usopp of how he was bitten by an unruly customer and ended up transforming when he was thirteen. He told him how he'd attacked the cooks, who had nearly bashed his brains out before Zeff had told them to get a proper look at the attacker, at which point they'd realized who it was.

". . . Since then, I've just had to put up with it," Sanji finished. "My tail's easy enough to hide, and I'm locked up on the full moon. Being alone's no fun, but it's better for everyone."

He sighed. "Captain Chore Boy wants me to join your crew, for some reason. I may have to tell him what I am to get him away."

Usopp laughed. "I think that would make him like you more!"

* * *

"Now you _have_ to join the crew!"

Sanji rolled his eyes. "Wow, he was right."

"What?"

"Nothing. Look, I'd be a burden to have onboard." Sanji grabbed the broom from Luffy and showed him how to sweep properly. "Turning into something dangerous once a month on a _ship_ is hard enough already."

"Don't care," Luffy said stubbornly. "You're joining, and that's that."

* * *

"Oh, so you already talked with Usopp!" Luffy exclaimed as Johnny kept an eye on the horizon. "Isn't he great?"

Sanji shrugged. "Yeah, sure. At least I won't be the only non-human on board."

* * *

"STOP!"

Chu froze. "What is this?" he exclaimed. "I can't move my body-_chu!" _

Usopp laughed. "Take that, fishman!" he exclaimed. "You can't beat my cool vampire powers!"

He flung his head back and laughed mockingly. When he looked back, Chu stood directly in front of him, the broken sight having freed him.

"What was that?"

Usopp screamed and ran.

* * *

"Oh, a werewolf," Nami said, edging away from Sanji. "That's . . . great."

Sanji's tail curled up and wagged as he gazed at Nami. "There's no need to be scared, my dear!"

"You're basically a stray, aren't you?" Zoro muttered.

"What was that?" Sanji growled.

Luffy laughed. "So, Sanji, Usopp, anything we need to know about you guys you didn't mention?"

Usopp frowned. "Hm . . . well, I gotta have blood every other day or so . . . and I'm nocturnal, but I can get up in the day if I need to . . . and I can turn into a bat or a cat."

"Let me know if the meat's too rare," Sanji said. "Sometimes I think it's done, but . . . that's because I prefer rare meat."

"Like a mutt," Zoro said, nodding. Sanji growled softly.

"Sanji, two questions," Luffy said. "First of all, do you like being pet?"

Sanji scowled. "My ears will only be scratched by a beautiful lady!"

"So that's a yes. Anyway, when's the next full moon?"

"Why is that your second question?" Nami muttered.

"A few days, I think," Sanji said. "It's not like I can keep watch when transformed, so I should be locked up somewhere."

Zoro glanced at Usopp. "Couldn't you keep him company?"

The others glanced between them.

"Huh?" Usopp said in surprise.

Zoro gestured to him. "You're not a human . . ." He turned to Sanji. "And you only attack humans, right?"

"I guess so," Sanji said, shrugging.

"So Usopp could keep watch and keep you company," Zoro said.

"That's actually a good idea from someone as dumb as you," Nami remarked. Ignoring Zoro's scowl, she continued, "Usopp? Sanji-_kun_?"

"I'm okay with it," Sanji said.

Usopp gulped. "I guess so . . ."

* * *

Sanji trembled behind the mast while Usopp stood resolutely on the other side.

"Remember, if you think I'm going to attack . . ." Sanji shivered. "Stop me and run inside."

"That's my specialty," Usopp said proudly. Sanji grinned, and then spasmed as he began to turn.

Usopp remained frozen in place as the large wolf (Sanji) came around, growled, and sniffed him suspiciously.

"H—Hi," he whispered, kneeling. "Do you . . . know me?"

Sanji shook his head.

"I'm Usopp. You're . . . Sanji."

Sanji cocked his head.

"Is that okay?"

A nod.

"Okay. I, uh . . . can't understand you, but, uh . . . I'm a vampire. I'm gonna . . . stay with you tonight."

Sanji's tail wagged. Usopp grinned. "Can I pet you? Is that okay?"

Sanji lowered his head and allowed Usopp to scratch his ears as a gentle growl of contentment escaped him, almost like a purr.

* * *

The next morning, Usopp fled inside just before the sun rose as Sanji collapsed to the deck with a loud whine.

Sanji found Usopp indoors, getting ready for bed. He grinned, gave Usopp a one-armed hug, and went back up to start on breakfast.


	113. Colorblind Art

**Forgot to mention in the last chapter... if you previously requested vampire and/or WW Chopper, Franky, Brook, and/or Ace, I'm going to put your names on those chapters when they're done in the Modern AU. If you don't want this, I can remove your name from the list. **

**Also! Go look at FANART on my profile for awesome stuff for this story! innocentcinnamonbun did a really nice WW Zoro illustration, and Soud did an amazing comic with WW Zoro and Luffy! Go look! Please! They're great! **

**Okay, now... **

**Gamma Cavy requested WW Usopp trying to paint! **

**Non-humans: WW Zoro, WW Luffy (neither shown), WW Usopp **

* * *

"And . . . done!"

Usopp proudly turned around the paper, paint nearly dry already, with a proud grin. "What do you think?"

Chopper trotted forward and peered at the painting.

"It looks really good!" he exclaimed. "But . . . did you make my fur pink and hat yellow on purpose?"

"Huh?!" Usopp turned it back around and looked from it to Chopper. "Is it really—?! It looks just like you—shoot, I thought I had it!"

Chopper patted his back. "It's okay! It's still good!"

Usopp hung his head. "But . . . the colors . . ."

"Something wrong?"

They looked up to see Nami and Robin passing by. Judging by the books Robin held, the drink in Nami's hand, and the swimsuits, they'd been getting ready to sunbathe.

"Oh, nice painting," Nami said, kneeling next to Usopp. "Interesting colors you picked."

Usopp let out a whine and hugged his knees to his chest, bowing his head.

"What's wrong?" Robin asked, kneeling on his other side.

"He didn't mean to use those colors," Chopper stage-whispered.

"Oh," the girls said in understanding.

"How am I going to paint properly if I can't see color right?" Usopp groaned dramatically, raising the painting to the sky.

"You could paint in black-and-white," Nami suggested. "Or stick to pencil or pen."

"But it's not the same . . ."

Robin poked at the paint tubes and brush. "Would you like to give it another try?"

"I guess?" Usopp mumbled, tearing out a fresh sheet from his book.

Chopper posed again.

"Here, hold on," Nami said. She took the paint tubes and brought out a pen. A minute later, she handed them back to Usopp, who squinted at them.

"Oh," he said, grinning.

"Go on," Nami said, sitting cross-legged.

Usopp sketched out Chopper's outline again and used the labelled blue paint to do the nose. When he got ready to paint the hat, he hesitated.

"You remember what color the hat is, right?" Robin said gently. "Think about that. Start mixing red and white."

Usopp nodded and squirted out some of each, mixing them.

"Not quite," Nami said. "A bit too dark."

"A bit too light, now . . ."

"Perfect!"

Usopp used this color to paint the hat. He then took the warm colors and the blue, mixing them up bit by bit.

"Not quite, that's a little bit gross."

"Too pale . . ."

"You got it!"

He grinned and painted Chopper's body this way. The color for Chopper's shorts and hooves were created in much the same way.

"Is this right?" Usopp said, holding it up and turning it around. Chopper dropped the pose.

"Yeah!" he exclaimed. "The colors are right!"

Usopp grinned proudly, tail thumping on the deck. "Victory! Thanks, guys!"

"Yep, no problem," Nami said, patting his head and standing with Robin.


	114. Captured Again

**Anon requested WW Zoro separated from the crew for a few days! The Marine base/island in this is the same one from chapter 36. **

**Non-humans: WW Zoro **

* * *

"_Fuck_—"

Zoro stood, rubbing his back and wincing. He'd landed rather hard after his fall from the chute, and when he looked up, he found the opening closed already. A quick look around determined he was in a jail cell, and a few slashes from his sword confirmed the bars as Seastone.

"That was pretty dumb," he muttered to himself with a sigh. "Well, the others are bound to come sooner or later."

When two Marines came by and found him, he growled loudly, startling them. From their boasting, he learned he was in an underground base, generally unknown even to the population in the town above, and that he was to be taken to Enies Lobby in three days.

The next time they came by, they found the wall scuffed up from kicks and the wooden bench with a crack in it.

* * *

"Anyone seen that stray?" Sanji asked, stirring up the soup and ladling it into bowls. The crew had gathered for dinner, Luffy bouncing up and down in his seat.

Usopp raised his hand. "Well, we were walking together, and then I looked around and he was gone."

"You were supposed to be watching him," Nami said sternly.

"I know he needs a partner wherever he goes, but _he's_ the one who got lost—"

"What will you do if his corpse turns up on the beach tomorrow?" Robin asked serenely.

"Don't say stuff like that!" Franky exclaimed as Brook, Usopp, and Chopper shrieked.

"I'll be right back," Nami announced, standing. She left and came back after a couple of minutes. "The dog whistle didn't work, so he's either _really_ lost, in trouble, or already dead."

"If he's dead, that's one less mouth to feed," Sanji mused aloud.

"Sanji!" Chopper exclaimed indignantly.

"Seriously, though . . ." Sanji finished ladling the soup and set aside the last bowl for Zoro. "He couldn't have been captured? He's definitely dumb enough to fall for a trap."

He glanced at Usopp, who shrugged.

"I mean, you're right," he said, "but like I said, I didn't see him vanish. Chopper, will you look around there with me after dinner?"

"So are we starting dinner or not?" Luffy said abruptly.

"Aren't you worried about Bro Zoro?" Franky said in surprise.

Luffy shrugged. "Not really. I'm sure he's not dead, and he can take care of himself. We can look for him tonight."

"I trust your judgement, Luffy-_san_," Brook said solemnly. "And on that note . . ."

"Let's eat!" Luffy finished, and they dove into their food.

* * *

"His scent's pretty faint, but it ends around here."

Chopper looked up at Usopp as Usopp looked around the dead-end alley. "Where is he?"

"He couldn't have . . . flown?" Usopp said, looking up hopefully. Chopper turned big, threw Usopp into the air, and caught him as he fell again.

"Anything?"

"_Warn_ me next time!" Usopp shrieked. "And no, he wasn't there!"

Something caught their ears and they froze.

"Howling?" Usopp whispered.

"Zoro?" Chopper murmured.

They searched the town for another hour, but were unable to find him.

* * *

Zoro curled up on his side against the wall. The bench was in splinters and the wall was littered with scuff marks. He soon fell into a fitful sleep.

* * *

"Still not back," Sanji muttered at breakfast the next morning. "What is he _doing?" _

"We can all go look for him after food," Luffy said. "Franky, can you guard Sunny while we're gone?"

Franky saluted. "You know I can!"

* * *

Their whole day of searching seemed futile, but the sun was just setting when Nami and Robin spotted a soldier standing near a street corner. They stood in the shadows and Robin seized him with her powers, dragging him near them.

"So," Nami said sweetly as his eyes widened in fear, "do you know anything about the location of Roronoa Zoro?"

* * *

The girls left the soldier unconscious in the alley and gathered the crew together. With battle cries, they burst into the disguised Marine base, knocking out any soldiers who came their way and charging down the stairs.

They found Zoro pacing his cell. The wooden bench had practically disintegrated at this point, and it was a wonder he hadn't managed to destroy the walls with how much he'd kicked and punched.

He looked up, and had the bench still been there, it would have broken at this point from how much his tail was wagging.

"Hey, sorry we took so long!" Luffy said cheerfully, punching out a soldier who tried to sneak up on him. "Nami—"

Nami bent down and picked the lock. The second the door swung open, she was nearly knocked over by Zoro rushing out and grabbing her in a hug.

"Zoro?" she said in surprise, noting the vigorous movements of his tail.

Zoro quickly pushed her away. "Thanks," he muttered.

"Is he—? Zoro!" Usopp exclaimed, running up to him. "I'm sorry I didn't keep an eye on you—"

"'S fine, it was my fault," Zoro muttered, more than happy to let Usopp hug him. Chopper soon joined the pile, nearly crying in relief.

"Are we all together, then?" Robin asked, approaching after cracking one of the soldier's necks, rendering them unconscious.

"About time," Sanji muttered, standing close to her. "You stupid moss, you've missed a whole day of perfectly good food."

"Sorry."

Usopp and Chopper pulled away from Zoro in surprise, who blinked. "I mean—it's not like I care, cook, your food tastes like shit."

Sanji chuckled, lighting a cigarette. "What does a mongrel know about good food, anyway? Let's get going. I'll whip up something for dinner."

* * *

Despite Chopper's insistence he could walk by himself, Zoro held him all the way back to the ship. Though Robin walked behind the group, an arm was sprouted upon Zoro's back, keeping a reassuring grip on his arm. Back at the ship, Luffy and Usopp hung out near him, and this was greatly appreciated despite that Zoro didn't comment.

Zoro went to sleep in his own bed that night, but in the early hours, Franky awoke to find him curled up on his chest.

"Hey," he muttered, shaking Zoro. "_Hey._"

Zoro yawned, eyes opening partway.

"Everything okay?"

"Oh, uh . . ." Zoro shifted. "I, uh . . . must've . . . sleepwalked here."

Franky rolled his eyes. "Stay here if you wanna, I don't really care."

Zoro settled down and fell asleep again within moments.

* * *

A few days later, Zoro could be found in the kitchen at the counter, drinking booze straight from the bottle while Sanji made notes on a recipe.

"Hey," Sanji said at last, straightening up. "Everything okay?"

"Huh? Yeah, why?" Zoro muttered.

"You haven't been out of a five-meter radius of anyone since you came back from the Marines."

Zoro took another drink.

"And you keep going to our beds in the middle of the night."

"You're the one who freaked out about it," Zoro muttered. "Franky and Chopper didn't care."

"That's because Chopper's a kid and Franky's a weirdo," Sanji protested. "What the hell am I supposed to think when I wake up in the middle of the night to see you breathing in my face?"

Zoro eyed him. "Again, _you're_ the one making this weird."

"I'm not—forget it." Sanji set his pen down. "Are you really that lonely?"

"No."

"Well, fine. I'll see you later."

Sanji left the kitchen, shutting the door behind him. He waited by the main mast. A moment later, Zoro came outside, still holding the bottle, and leaned against the mast near him.

"Felt like getting some sunshine."

"Right."

A pause.

Zoro sighed. "I'll be fine, okay? I just need a little more time."

"I understand. In the meantime, until you can go a day without following someone around and sleeping with one of us . . ."

Sanji took the bottle from Zoro's hand.

". . . You don't get any alcohol."

He grinned and headed off to the kitchen again.


	115. Big Brother Sabo

**Hey, we're back! Sorry about the unannounced hiatus, I didn't mean for it to last so long! Tonight's the full moon where I live, so I figured today was a good day to start updating again! **

**To anon WaterStar45: I'm sorry, but at this point, I'm really not sure how I could fit Vivi into the Modern AU. That was a big oversight on my part, though in my defense I made up that AU pretty much on the spot. In any case, Vampire Vivi hasn't been in the regular OP-verse yet, so would you like to change your request to that? Get back to me! **

**I've been sitting on this request for a while, and now that the scene was finally in the anime, I could write it! **

**Lew and kid requested Sabo reacting to WW Luffy! **

**Non-humans: WW Zoro, WW Luffy **

* * *

"Before I go . . ." Sabo looked to Luffy, whose tail thumped occasionally as he slept. "He . . . didn't always have a tail, did he?"

"Oh, that's right," Robin murmured. "I never told you . . . he's a werewolf."

"Oh, I see," Sabo said with a nod and a smile. "A were—_a werewolf?! _When did _that_ happen?!"

Zoro winced at his yell. "That was my fault," he admitted. "I've been a werewolf for some time, too. I bit him by accident one day."

Sabo turned to him with a dangerous smile. "So it was your fault?"

Zoro stiffened.

"Zoro-_san_, was it? Can I see you outside for a moment?"

Zoro eyed the pipe, suddenly clenched tight in a gloved hand. "Uh . . ."

"Hey, hey, it wasn't his fault, really," Franky exclaimed quickly as he fixed his face. "Honestly, Luffy's partially to blame, and other than the transformations, he likes being a werewolf."

"Oh, I see," Sabo said, relaxing with a genuine smile. "Then if he likes it, it's fine."

Zoro breathed a soft sigh of relief.

"He's . . . okay, then? I don't know much about werewolves."

"We're all careful during the full moon," Zoro reassured him. "And Chopper and Brook, our doctor and skeleton, can keep us company, playing and whatnot."

"That's good." Sabo watched Luffy again, following the twitching of his tail. "I did wonder why he started sniffing me earlier . . ."

Robin smiled Luffy's way. "He gets very lonely when no one's around, now. He must have been so happy to see you again."

"Yeah," Sabo said, turning away suddenly. "I should go now. It was good to meet you."

Everyone noticed he suddenly sounded choked-up, but they said nothing.


	116. What the Heck Is 'Normal,' Anyway?

**Heyo! After this chapter I have a buttload of Modern AU chaps to do, just gotta sort out what order to do them in first. **

**Soud requested WW Luffy and Zoro being stuck in wolf form due to magical mishap! **

**Non-humans: WW Zoro, WW Luffy **

* * *

"That old lady didn't have to get so upset," Luffy remarked as he and Zoro strolled down the road.

"S'not like we broke anything," Zoro agreed. "And we're not even hurt."

"I wonder if that really was a magic spell we got hit with?" Luffy wondered aloud, eyes lighting up and his tail wagging in his shorts. "Maybe we'll transform into something cool!"

"We already transform into wolves every month."

"Something _cooler_."

* * *

Days came and went, and the full moon arrived at last. Luffy and Zoro spent a peaceful evening with Chopper and Brook, the only disturbance being Luffy nearly falling overboard.

As the morning sun rose, Luffy and Zoro whimpered and crouched to the deck. Chopper and Brook hurried inside, hoping to sleep for a bit before Sanji started on breakfast.

When Zoro and Luffy rose, they shook their heads, looked around, and looked at each other.

* * *

Sanji rolled out of bed and glanced around. There were Chopper and Brook, but . . .

"Wolf-boys not in yet, huh," he muttered to himself, yawning. He shuffled to the door and pushed it open. But when he looked outside, he instantly backed away and shut the door again.

"Hey," he hissed, hurrying to Chopper and shaking him. Chopper sat up sleepily.

"They're still in wolf-form," Sanji whispered. "Can you get them inside somewhere else?"

"They're still . . . why?" Chopper murmured. He hopped out of bed and trotted to the door, opening and closing it quickly. Sanji leaned against the wall.

Chopper came back in soon. "It's safe to come out," he announced, rubbing his eyes.

Sanji strode outside, but paused when he saw Luffy and Zoro sitting by the main mast, still in wolf form. He raised an eyebrow, but they didn't attack, and he glanced at Chopper expectantly.

"They're lucid, for some reason, they just didn't turn back to human form," Chopper said, yawning. "I dunno why, but I don't think they're hurt or in danger . . . Sanji, I'm tired."

"Yeah, go back to bed," Sanji said. Chopper shuffled inside and Sanji shut the door, turning back to Luffy and Zoro. He approached them and knelt in front of them.

"So you two don't know why you're like this?" he said suspiciously, patting Luffy's head. Zoro yawned and shook his head while Luffy's tail thumped on the grass.

"Well, it's not an eclipse . . . did you do anything weird to yourselves recently?"

They glanced at each other and gave Sanji a nod.

"I'll ask Chopper to translate later," Sanji said, standing. He glanced at them, scratching his head. "Do you guys want meat on a plate or something for lunch?"

Luffy nodded, tail wagging, and Zoro stared at Sanji expectantly.

"Yeah, I'll get you a little booze," Sanji said amiably. Zoro's tail thumped once before he curled up on the grass with Luffy, both intending to sleep away the morning.

* * *

Usopp took a step outside, saw Luffy and Zoro curled up on the grass, shrieked, and ran back inside, slamming the door behind him.

"What's up, bro?" Franky mumbled, sitting up and stretching.

"Is there a problem?" Brook added, yawning for some reason.

"Luffy and Zoro are—they're still wolves!" Usopp exclaimed.

"It's okay," Chopper mumbled. "They won't attack. It's safe."

He went back to sleep.

"Oh," Franky said. "Hey, that means we can party!"

He jumped out of bed and ran outside, dragging Usopp with him amid protests. Luffy and Zoro sleepily lifted their heads, and Luffy's tail thumped on the grass.

"You guys ready to party?!" Franky exclaimed.

They yawned.

"Uh," Usopp said. "They still need sleep, y'know."

"Oh. Fine, we'll party later." Franky wandered into the kitchen, hoping to rest on the couch as Sanji cooked up breakfast.

Usopp sat near Luffy and Zoro, eyes darting between them. Luffy pushed his head into Usopp's leg and Usopp scratched his ears. Luffy yawned again and lay down.

* * *

"How long are they going to be like that?" Nami asked. The crew had gathered on the deck, Luffy and Zoro still sleeping, to discuss the situation.

"They said it might have been magic, or something," Chopper said, yawning. He explained what Luffy and Zoro had said about the old woman and the supposed magic. "None of us know magic, so . . . it's probably safe to leave them as is, and we can start looking for a magician or something if they don't change back on the next full moon."

"Do you think we'll have a problem if we run into trouble?" Usopp said in worry. "Luffy and Zoro are pretty much our strongest fighters—"

Sanji cleared his throat. "Aren't you forgetting someone?"

Usopp looked at him. "Anyway, like I said, Luffy and Zoro are pretty much our strongest fighters, so what're we gonna do if we get attacked?"

"We could just sic them on the enemy," Nami suggested while Sanji turned away, sulking. "A charging wolf's scary enough on its own."

"So we basically don't have a problem," Franky said with a shrug.

"Robin-_chan_, you think I'm strong, right?" Sanji mumbled, looking up hopefully.

"Of course I do," Robin said soothingly.

* * *

A week passed, and the crew had gotten used to Luffy and Zoro as they were. The werewolves had to eat from plates on the floor, but both were already likely to do this in human form in the first place, so neither minded. When night came, they would either keep watch with someone or sleep in the men's room with the others.

One day, Sanji realized Zoro hadn't come scratching and headbutting the door to ask for booze, so he stepped out of the kitchen and looked around. He found Zoro sitting at the main mast, staring up intently.

"The hell are you doing?" Sanji muttered, kneeling by him and looking up. The entrance to the crow's nest was above.

Zoro snorted and spared Sanji a glance before turning his gaze upwards again.

"Okay, twenty questions it is. Do you want to get up there?"

A nod.

"Uh . . . because of the view?"

Zoro gave him a look.

"Come on, there aren't many options. Don't tell me you want to train?"

A nod.

Sanji rolled his eyes. "You know you can't really lift weights like this, even if you could get up there."

Zoro whined and turned his gaze back to the crow's nest.

Sanji stood and lightly smacked his head. "Give it up, you can train all you want when you're back to normal. Staring isn't going to solve anything, anyway. Come on, I'll get you some booze."

Zoro hesitated before letting out a whimper of defeat and trudging after Sanji.

* * *

"Look, I wish we could play cards, too, but you can't hold them," Usopp said in exasperation. "And—stop growling at me!—you can't lay them on the deck, I'd see them."

Luffy whined and lay down, putting his head on his paws.

"Don't give me that kicked puppy look," Usopp said, rolling his eyes. "Chopper, help me out here . . ."

"Um," Chopper exclaimed. He turned to Luffy. "Wanna play fetch or something?"

Luffy's ears twitched and he lifted his head.

"Oh, I should've thought of that," Usopp muttered. "Okay, I'll go find a stick or something, wait here!"

He ran off. Luffy turned to Chopper.

"I don't know where he keeps getting sticks, either," Chopper said with a shrug.

* * *

The moon would be full soon, and the Strawhats had hit an inhabited island.

"Strawhat, you gotta stay with us," Franky said, tapping Luffy's head again as they walked. "Quit getting distracted!"

"There's no hope for him," Usopp said dramatically.

"He says he's hungry," Chopper announced, riding on Luffy's back.

"Big surprise," Franky muttered.

Luffy grumbled.

"We'll get food soon, hold your horses," Usopp said, scratching Luffy's ears. Luffy pressed his head up, tail wagging and smacking a few people they passed by.

* * *

"Stop growling already," Sanji snapped, tying another bag to Zoro's back. "You would've gotten yourself into trouble if you didn't have a chaperone."

"Sanji-_kun_, hurry up," Nami called. She and Robin were far down the street already.

"Coming, Nami-_san! _Come on, you mutt—"

Zoro headbutted the back of Sanji's knees as they walked, causing Sanji to fall. Zoro plodded on ahead, quite pleased with himself.

"Shitty stray, get back here!" Sanji snapped, getting himself standing and hurrying on.

* * *

Brook and Chopper waited patiently as the night fell. Luffy and Zoro hadn't fallen ill the day of the full moon, but that night, they were prepared nonetheless to transform.

As the moon rose in the sky, the werewolves whined and whimpered and fell to the deck. When they rose, they came around to greet Chopper and Brook, tails wagging.

"Hello, you two," Brook said, scratching their ears.

_Hi,_ Luffy said, eyes shining. _What're we gonna do tonight? _

_I want a nap,_ Zoro said, yawning.

Chopper translated and looked up at Brook. "Their minds turned."

"Ah, normalcy," Brook said wistfully. "How odd it is that we call this normal now . . ."

Chopper grinned, petting Luffy's head.

* * *

When the sun started to rise, Chopper and Brook hurried inside, and Luffy and Zoro whined and fell to the deck again.

And when Sanji came outside, they were in human form once more.

"We're back!" Luffy exclaimed, trying to stand and clinging to the mast for support.

Zoro wobbled on his feet. "My everything hurts."

"So do my eyes!" Sanji snapped, covering them. "Put on your damn clothes and go to bed!"

They nodded, yawned, and went to the men's quarters, stumbling like drunkards.


	117. Modern-Day: Vampire Franky

**Ayyy it's 4:20 AM where i am... blaze it, **

**ForeverAWSOMEAuraSpaceDragon requested Vampire Franky in the AU! **

**Non-humans: Vampire Sanji, Vampire Franky **

**Modern AU **

* * *

"_911, what's your emergency?" _

"Hi, some middle-schoolers tried to kill me," Franky said.

"We're in college!" one of his attackers yelled. Franky punched him aside.

"Scratch that, they're in college but they act like they're twelve, and they're still trying to kill me," he said to the operator.

"_Have you been wounded?" _

"No, they didn't hurt me, but they're coming at me with knives right now," Franky explained, dodging another swing and kicking the person's arm.

"_Can you give me an address, sir?" _

Franky hummed in thought as he ran out of the kitchen and into the house's living room, glancing out the window. "I can tell you what street I'm on and the house's color."

"_Go ahead." _

Franky relayed this information.

"_Police will be sent to your location and an ambulance will be called if necessary. Stay at the location given if possible, sir." _

"Yeah, okay, thank you," Franky said in relief. He waited until the operator had hung up to throw the phone to the ground and face his attackers.

"Okay, you weird Satan-worshipping freaks, come at me!" he yelled, picking up the coffee table and holding it threateningly.

* * *

The police arrived and were able to handle the knife situation quickly and non-lethally. Franky explained what had happened: He had been going home from work when someone had chloroformed him from behind. When he'd woken up, he'd found himself in the middle of a pentagram-like chalk drawing, surrounded by people who had begun to chant weird things. When they were done (Franky didn't mention the circle glowing), they talked about how it was supposed to kill him ("It didn't work _again?"_) and elected to kill him physically instead.

At this point, Franky had ripped the ropes binding him and run upstairs, grabbing the phone in the kitchen and calling 911 while the perpetrators tried to stab him.

The police asked him for his name, etc., and if he wanted a ride home, to which Franky responded that he would be fine walking.

* * *

"Stupid _keys, _first the Satan-worshippers, now the keys don't work, this week is _so_ not super—"

Franky finally got the key to work and almost fell through the door. As he recovered, he heard two doors open and was greeted by two surprised faces.

"Well, at least you aren't dead," one of them (a woman) said with a pleased smile.

"Yeah, good to see you, too," Franky said, rolling his eyes.

"Mr. Franky, really, where were you?" the second one (a man) said. He was tall and skeleton-thin, with an enormous bush of dark hair and a suit minus the jacket. "I was getting quite worried, my stomach was all tied up in knots—in _knots_, Mr. Franky—"

"Got held up is all," Franky said, glancing away. "Robin, when did you get home?"

"A little less than an hour ago," Robin replied, coming out to the living room where the three of them sat properly on the couch.

"Oh. What time is it? Brook?"

Brook glanced at his watch and told him. Franky raised an eyebrow in surprise.

"Took longer than I thought," he muttered.

"What did?" Robin asked.

"Nothing, don't worry about it." Franky scratched his head and grinned. "I had a pretty _knife_ time!"

He pointed at his housemates expectantly, but they only glanced at each other and back to him in confusion.

"Oh, right," he said in disappointment, dropping his arms. "Guess you had to be there."

"Did someone try to shank you, Mr. Franky?" Brook asked seriously.

"Was it that obvious?" Franky sighed. "Look, I'm still super no matter what, okay? This doesn't change anything."

He reluctantly explained what had happened. By the end of it, Brook and Robin wore respective expressions of shock and slight amusement.

"Don't you laugh at me," Franky added to Robin with a scowl.

"I'm just imagining you talking on the phone while fighting college students," she said with a giggle.

"In retrospect, it was pretty funny," he admitted.

"Well, Mr. Franky," Brook said, "I'm very glad you're alive."

"Same here," Franky said with a grin. "But . . . today's been off, I feel like I've been forgetting something ever since this morning . . ."

"Your wedding ring's on the kitchen counter," Robin said.

Franky's eyes widened. "So _that's_ where I left it! Thanks!"

* * *

Brook was in charge of dinner that evening, but after a brief internal debate, Franky decided he was tired and would nap instead of eating, and besides he had had a late lunch that day anyway. Brook pretended to be offended.

That evening, Brook and Robin bade each other goodnight before entering their separate bedrooms. Brook turned on the lamp and found Franky still fast asleep. He shrugged and changed, getting into his own bed and turning the light off.

He'd just begun to drift off when he heard something. He sat up and turned the lamp back on to find Franky standing.

"Hey," Franky said with a yawn, turning around. "Wait, what time is it?"

Brook showed him the clock.

"Huh, okay." He stretched. "I'm gonna hang out in the living room for a bit."

"Now, Mr. Franky, this is why you shouldn't take such a late nap," Brook murmured.

"Don't tell me what to do. G'night."

He left the bedroom. Brook turned off the light again and lay back down.

* * *

Franky paced around the living room restlessly for a time. As the moon rose high in the sky, he licked his lips, realizing he was thirsty, and went to the fridge to get himself a can of cola.

But when he popped it open and started drinking, he slammed a hand over his mouth, squeezing his eyes shut.

"The hell?" he muttered after he made himself swallow it. He examined the can (not realizing he could see just fine without the light on) and frowned. "Come on, this doesn't expire for months, why does it taste like carbonated garbage?"

He finished the can anyway, hoping the taste would improve as he went. He almost vomited several times in the process but kept the drink down for the time being.

"Still thirsty . . ."

A glass of water helped to rinse out the taste but did nothing to quench his thirst.

"Not really hungry, either," he muttered. "Ah, shit, I'm probably sick."

He scratched his head. "Not tired, though . . ."

* * *

The October night was cool as Franky walked down the street, kicking a rock and whistling. He soon passed by his auto shop and cast it a glance, vaguely wondering if he could open up for a few hours. He quickly gave up on the idea and continued on.

Just as he reached the plaza, he felt bile rise in his throat and knelt, turning to the grass and vomiting. He coughed, got himself standing, and went on, thinking he should avoid eating for the time being.

The center was fairly well-lit, and some places were still open at that time. Franky wandered past shops and the supermarket and the payphone . . .

. . . But as he went into a darkened area, he heard something moving behind him, stopped, and whipped around.

A long-furred yellow cat froze, staring at him with one blue eye (for the other was covered by its fur), and it and Franky stood stock-still in a stare-down for a few seconds.

"Oh, okay," Franky muttered. He knelt. "Hey, kitty. Your fur's all messed up, here . . ."

He reached out to brush aside the fur covering the cat's left eye, but the cat hissed and Franky quickly brought his hand back.

"Fine, no need to get pissy," he snapped. He straightened up. "Stop following me, I don't need to adopt anything right now."

There was a small puff of smoke, and Franky found himself looking down at a teenager (couldn't have been older than eighteen), with hair and eyes the same color and style as the cat's. His eyebrow curled into a spiral at the end.

Franky blinked, rubbed his eyes, and stared at the person.

"God, I need to get to a hospital if this keeps up," he muttered.

"Keep quiet," the person ordered.

"Look, I've had a bad day," Franky snapped, his eyes closed and one hand rubbing his temple. "I don't know what magic bullshit you just pulled, but I'd _really appreciate it _if you just turn around, walk away, and stop bothering me."

The person narrowed his eyes. "I said stop talking."

"Why not chloroform me? Worked for the other guys!" Franky exclaimed in exasperation, throwing his hands in the air. "God, first those kids try to kill me, now you're probably trying to mug me—look, I don't have any money, you hear? Search my pockets if you want, all I've got is this handsome bod and the shirt on my back. And my pants, but you can take those if you want, I don't care if I get arrested again, won't make this day any worse!"

He folded his arms and stared at the teenager, and the teenager stared back. Franky noticed there was something _strange_ about him, but in his frustration he didn't bother trying to figure out what it was.

"Well, shit, sorry," he muttered at last. "I mean, this is awkward. I didn't notice you were . . ."

"Isn't it past curfew? Don't make me call your parents—"

"He knows I'm out," the teenager snapped. "Gimme a break, you weirdo, _you're_ out here for the same reason I am!"

"What, you're sick, too?" Franky said. "Kids like you should be in bed, get your beauty sleep, y'know? God knows you need it."

"Don't make me kick you!" the teenager hissed.

Franky frowned. "Did your eyes just turn red?"

"Of course they did—"

The teenager frowned, the red dimming. "You . . . don't know?"

"I'm leaving now."

"No, wait—did you say some guys tried to kill you?"

"What's it to you?"

"Did they throw you in a chalk circle and say some weird chant?"

"How'd you know? Were you there?"

The teenager sighed. "God, I can't believe the police let those shits go." He offered a smile to Franky, though it was more like a grimace. "Nice to meet you, I'm Sanji. You're a vampire."

"Nope," Franky said abruptly. "That's it. I'm going to the hospital tomorrow night if this doesn't clear up. I'm _really_ sick. This is _so_ not my week."

"Wait—"

He shoved past Sanji with a wave. "Have a good night. Don't stay out too late."

"I said _wait!" _

Franky ignored him and continued on. He was not followed.

* * *

Brook rose before the crack of dawn. He got dressed, humming to himself, and left the bedroom to make himself breakfast before leaving for work.

"Morning," Franky said from where he lounged on the couch.

Brook jumped. "Oh, good morning, Mr. Franky! Goodness, you startled me—you haven't been up all night, have you?"

Franky grinned sheepishly. "'Fraid so. I just couldn't sleep. What were you humming just now?"

Brook looked rather miffed. "It was the William Tell Overture, Mr. Franky, don't you pay attention to my work at all?"

"When I want to dance to it, sure."

"How rude," Brook said, though he smiled. "But . . . you heard it from all the way out here? I thought I was rather quiet . . ."

"No, I heard you loud and clear," Franky said. He yawned. "I'm getting a little tired . . . might have a nap before I head in."

"If you like," Brook said with a shrug. "Would you like something to eat first?"

Franky hesitated. "Nah, I'll pass. See you tonight."

He shuffled into the bedroom and got into bed, falling asleep quite soon. He hadn't realized he'd been eyeing Brook's neck.

* * *

". . . Franky . . ."

". . . Mr. Franky . . . ?"

Franky sat up with a huge yawn and found Robin and Brook next to his bed.

"Oh, you guys're back early," he mumbled. "Something wrong?"

They glanced at each other.

"Mr. Franky . . . it's almost six in the evening," Brook said tentatively.

"Were you sleeping all day?" Robin asked in concern.

Franky's eyes widened. "Aw, come on!" he exclaimed, wide awake. "Lost a whole day of business 'cause I was _sleeping_—"

"You did stay up all night, but this is strange," Brook murmured.

"Yeah, I think I'm sick," Franky confessed, standing and stretching. He eyed Robin's neck as he continued, "I had a can of cola last night, but it tasted like shit, and I've just been really thirsty."

"Do you need a doctor?" Robin asked. She frowned and clicked her fingers in front of his face; he blinked and looked at her properly.

"Dunno, maybe," he admitted, albeit reluctantly.

"You do look a bit pale," Brook remarked. "And you weren't snoring, which is why I didn't realize you were still here until Ms. Robin came home."

He frowned and waved a hand in front of Franky's face. Franky looked up from Brook's neck, blinking.

"Zoned out," he muttered.

"How do you feel?" Robin asked, sitting on the edge of Brook's bed.

"Uh . . ." Franky sat on the edge of his own bed with Brook. "A little tired, but that's 'cause I just woke up." He yawned, eyes travelling to Robin's neck again. "And I'm still really thirsty. Not even hungry, and I haven't eaten since . . . yesterday."

"Maybe you should try some dinner," Robin said gently. "Get something in you and see if that doesn't help."

Franky didn't answer. Brook tapped his shoulder and he looked up.

"Sorry, what?" he said.

Robin sighed. "Let's just have TV dinners for supper."

* * *

Franky had hardly taken a bite of his food when he spat it back into the tray. Robin and Brook looked at him in surprise.

"Tastes terrible," he explained. He frowned. "Just like the cola. When did this expire?"

"It tastes just fine to my tongue, Mr. Franky," Brook said, testing his own.

"Same here," Robin agreed. "And we bought these just the other day."

Franky tried other parts of his dinner, but each tasted the same.

"_Nice to meet you, you're a vampire." _

He swore loudly, startling Brook and Robin, and stood, heading for the bathroom.

He stared above the sink. Normally, he would have seen himself in the mirror medicine cabinet door, blue-haired and barrel-chested.

But today, the wall and the open door were perfectly reflected, and he was nowhere to be seen.

"Franky?" Robin asked, knocking on the door and entering. "Is everything alright?"

She spotted herself in the mirror, despite that she was standing behind Franky.

"You're seeing what I'm seeing, right?" he asked, hanging his head.

"Oh, dear," Robin murmured.

Franky grabbed his head in his hands. "This is stupid, why did that kid have to be right?!"

Robin touched his shoulder. "I don't know what you mean, but if you know what's going on, Brook should hear this, too."

* * *

"I guess I'm a vampire."

Brook jumped. "Oh, dear! Now, Mr. Franky, you know I'm not fond of the supernatural!"

Franky rolled his eyes. "I'm not kidding." He explained his encounter with Sanji, and slowly but surely, he put together the oddities of his life in the past day.

"That would explain it," Brook admitted at last. "This is troublesome . . ."

"Yeah," Franky said in frustration. "In the first place, I can't even drink cola anymore! What's the point of living if I can't drink cola?!"

Robin took his wrist and felt for a pulse.

"I don't think 'living' is the right word," she announced. She studied Franky curiously. "Well, no wonder you weren't snoring earlier. You must not be breathing."

"What? Of course I'm . . ."

Franky paused.

"Oh, come on!"

"Not to mention, Mr. Franky, I don't think cola should be your first concern," Brook offered. "If you're a vampire . . . well . . ."

He shuddered. "Oh, I can't even say it!"

"You'll need to drink blood, won't you?" Robin said.

"Ms. Robin!"

"I guess?" Franky exclaimed. "I don't know how!"

Robin looked pensive. "You said that the kid's name was Sanji?"

"Sure, what about it?"

"Can you go another day without sustenance? I have an idea."

"I guess so. What's the plan?"

Robin smiled. "Don't worry about it, and do try to sleep tonight. You must be nocturnal, but if you're not getting nutrients, you should rest."

"Yeah, okay," Franky muttered.

"Ms. Robin, you're taking this rather well," Brook murmured, clutching his chest. "I'm still processing this . . . Mr. Franky, promise you won't bite me without permission!"

"I don't even know if that's how it works!" Franky exclaimed. "Don't go getting offended over stuff I haven't even done!"

"You're staring at his neck again," Robin murmured. Franky tore his eyes away.

"I'm gonna go nap," he muttered, standing.

* * *

The night was fitful—Franky tried to sleep, but would wake spontaneously, and by morning he was exhausted and fast asleep in bed. Brook let him be.

* * *

"Sanji, I need to see you," Robin said as the bell rang. Sanji shrugged and stayed where he was while Luffy and the others left, Luffy lingering for a bit longer before Robin gave him a look and he hurried out.

"I understand you're a vampire," she said calmly.

Sanji's eyes widened. "Um," he exclaimed. "That's, uh—what?"

"You ran into someone the other night, didn't you?" she asked.

"How did you—I mean, Mrs. Nico, uh—"

Robin showed him her left hand. Sanji stared at the ring on her finger, and his tired brain slowly put the pieces together.

"Oh," he said in a high-pitched voice.

Robin smiled. "Now, don't be nervous. I wanted to ask a favor, and in return, you'll get extra credit on your next test."

Sanji straightened up. "Okay . . . ?"

* * *

Franky wandered down the street, yawning and struggling to stay awake. He had hardly been able to keep his eyes away from his housemates' necks, and his vision was starting to blur randomly. He shook his head and pressed on, determined to keep the appointment.

When he reached the plaza, he went for the supermarket and found Sanji loitering around outside.

"Hi," Sanji said with a nervous smile. "So . . . Mrs. Nico explained the situation . . ."

"Mrs. N—? Oh, right." Franky scowled. "She told me, too. Listen, kiddo, I'm tired, I'm thirsty as all hell, and I'm not interested in wasting time."

"It's not like I want to be here, either," Sanji snapped. "I'm only doing this as a favor."

"One hell of a favor. I'll thank you when this is over, so let's get _started._"

"Well, if you would shut up for a second, we can find someone to get blood from—"

"You're the one who won't shut your trap—"

Franky paused. "Sorry. I'm exhausted. Seriously, though—"

"Yeah, come on," Sanji said, rolling his eyes. "Let's start walking."

* * *

**To clarify, Robin and Franky are in a marriage of convenience. They figured that they would be living together anyway, and marriage would make things a lot easier. They would have included Brook in the marriage as well, but marriages of 3+ people aren't considered legal, so that was out. **

**Franky: 32 y/o, fav Disney film is Treasure Planet (a recent decision) **

**Brook: 36 y/o, fav Disney film switches between Fantasia and Make Mine Music, depending on which one he watched last **


	118. Modern-Day: Werewolf Brook

**I'd like to take this moment to get off my chest that I don't consider chapters 30 and 46 to be canon in any universe. No offense to the requesters. **

**ForeverAWSOMEAuraSpaceDragon requested WW Brook in the AU! **

**Non-humans: WW Brook **

**Modern AU **

* * *

As Franky and Robin helped carry in the groceries from the car, Robin glanced down and her eyebrows lifted. "Brook, your arm . . . ?"

"Ah, yes," Brook said, glancing at the wound. "There was a rather rude young man at the store, you see. His hair was unusual, too . . . what is that style called? That's right, _frosted tips_—"

"Did he stab you?" Franky asked in surprise, setting his load on the counter. "In the store?"

"Not quite," Brook corrected. "There was a disagreement, you see, I was concerned that he was too young to be browsing the alcohol; he thought otherwise, and decided to pick a fight . . . at one point, my arm went too close to his mouth, and he bit me. It was terrible, really, I almost died!"

"I'm sure you did," Robin said, storing the fruit in the fridge. "Why did he feel the need to bite you?"

"I asked him the same question, but he looked almost frightened and ran away," Brook said. "I fainted after that."

"Don't tell me that kid was diseased," Franky said, laughing at the absurdity of the situation.

Brook chuckled. "Who knows? He didn't look very clean, I must say. At any rate, I woke up to see some very kind people helping me, and it's a good thing I had an empty bag with me, otherwise the vomit would have gone onto the floor and some poor person would have had to clean it up—"

"You threw up?" Robin said. "Are you sure he didn't have a disease?"

Brook shrugged. "I feel fine now, Ms. Robin, but thank you for your concern."

"Diseased freaks aside," Franky said, slinging an arm around Brook's shoulders, "go clean up that bite. If that shit gets infected, we'll have to amputate your arm."

Brook shrieked.

"Geez, you're loud!"

"We won't have to amputate the arm," Robin said sternly. "We can just let the wound fester. It would be much more interesting to watch the skin go through different stages of rot."

"You two are _terrible!" _Brook cried, throwing his arms to the ceiling and running to the bathroom to clean his arm.

* * *

A few weeks passed. Robin wouldn't be too busy for the summer, and Franky had his shop to run, but while Brook had to attend to his work for the next few weeks, he was forced to call in sick one morning when he awoke feverish.

Franky brought him water and crackers, and Robin made sure to email Brook's students so they would know not to attend his class that day (she was the best with working the software, while Franky was best at fixing the hardware).

"Thank you again, Ms. Robin," Brook murmured as the car started up outside, indicating Franky was on his way out.

"No problem," Robin said gently. "Let me know if you need anything."

"I think I'll just rest these tired eyes for now," Brook murmured, pulling the blanket over himself. Robin left the room.

* * *

Brook slept the day away, waking occasionally in bouts of fever and sweat. Franky came home to find him fast asleep, the blanket half hanging off, and he and Robin ate dinner without him that night.

They turned in around eleven, bidding each other goodnight. Franky cast a worried glance at Brook as he got off his clothes and went out to take a shower.

In the bedroom, Brook sat up, kicking the blanket off him. He was a right mess; his hair drooped, he was shaking, and his skin prickled all over. He shivered, hoping he wouldn't have to call a doctor—and then he cried out, hunching over and falling to his side.

Franky, at this time, was singing rather loudly in the shower, and so neither he nor Robin heard Brook's cry.

* * *

"Go, Speed Racer, go, Speed Racer," Franky sang to himself as he got out of the shower. "Go, Speed Racer, go!"

He got his briefs back on, checked himself out in the mirror, flexed, and left the bathroom.

When he opened the door to his bedroom, he came face-to-face with a hulking mass of a wolf (or perhaps a very large dog), its fur dark and kinked, its eyes yellow and filled with aggression. Its lips pulled back in a snarl as a growl grew steadily louder.

Franky promptly shut the door again.

"Uh, Robin?" he called, ignoring the growling and headbutting at the door. He knocked on her door. "Robin? Hello? Help?"

She opened the door a moment later, wearing a slip and a frown. "Franky? Is something wrong?"

Franky gestured to his door. "Uh. There's a wolf, or something. Help?"

"How am I supposed to help?" Robin asked. "And what do you mean, there's a wolf?"

"I opened the door, and it was right there," Franky explained. He gestured impatiently as a snarl broke through the door. "I dunno, maybe you could break its neck?"

"I'd rather not," Robin said. "Wolves are cute. But . . . isn't Brook in there?"

Franky turned back to the door. "_Shit." _He reached out for the handle. "Hey, get back to your room, this thing's really aggressive, maybe it's got rabies. I'm gonna get Brook, and we might have to hide in the bathroom or something."

"I'd like to see it," Robin murmured in disappointment. She frowned. "What is a wolf doing in there, anyway?"

Franky hesitated. "Hey, that's a good question. The door's been shut all day, right?"

Robin nodded. "Regardless . . . you're right. I'll be in my room."

She retreated and shut the door behind her, though she stayed close to listen.

"Okay, let's do this," Franky muttered. He threw open the door, knocking it into the wolf's head and stunning it momentarily.

"Brook!" he exclaimed, turning on the light, but the bed was empty.

"Come on, where is that idiot?!" he exclaimed, looking around. He glanced at the wolf, shaking its head and recovering. "And you, don't you start! Did you eat him?! There's no blood, though—"

The wolf looked up again, snarling, and they locked eyes. Franky's widened.

"Oh, god," he muttered. "No way."

Despite the different color, he _knew_ those eyes . . .

"_Shit_," he hissed. He ran to the dresser, yanked out a drawer, and turned around. Just as the wolf (Brook, it was _Brook_) charged for him, he yelled, "Sorry!" and swung the drawer down, pants flying out.

The wood cracked over Brook's head, and he slumped to the ground, unconscious for the time being. Franky tossed the drawer aside and knelt, checking the growing bump on Brook's head. He awkwardly patted him with another whispered apology before sneaking to the door, turning off the light, and shutting it.

"Robin?" he called, knocking.

Robin opened her door again and waited.

"The wolf's Brook," Franky said bleakly. "I dunno how or why, but I guess he's a werewolf or something."

Robin opened her mouth.

"I know it was him," Franky said. "His eyes, and the fur's the same as his hair—" He shook his head. "I had to knock him out—"

"I guess that makes the most sense," Robin said at last. "If Brook wasn't in the room, and that wolf came out of nowhere . . ." She frowned. "This is . . . troublesome. Poor Brook . . ."

"Yeah," Franky mumbled. "I wonder if he'll remember this tomorrow . . . ?"

"Good question. There are a lot of different stories surrounding werewolves . . ." Robin shook her head. "Let's try to sleep tonight. We can talk in the morning."

Franky nodded. "I'll take the couch. See you tomorrow."

She nodded and shut her door again, but not before glancing to the other bedroom.

* * *

Franky awoke a little after sunrise. He glanced at the clock and was relieved to find he wasn't late for work yet. When he remembered what had happened last night, he flung off the blanket and went for the bedroom.

"Brook?" he called, knocking softly.

No response.

"I'm coming in."

Franky pushed open the door and found Brook, back to normal, sitting on the edge of his bed. His head was in his hands, he had put his pants back on, and from his backside sprouted a tail exactly like the one he had had last night.

"Thank god," Franky muttered. "Hey, you okay?"

Brook nodded. "Are you?" he murmured.

"Aw, geez . . ." Franky came over and sat next to him. "I'm fine. Bro, it wasn't your fault, right?"

Brook slowly shook his head. "But . . ."

Franky patted him on the back. "It's alright, dude. No one got hurt, except you, sorry about that. Look, it's—" He sighed. "I don't really get it, but it's cool if you're a werewolf or whatever. Robin's fine with it, too."

Brook's tail twitched. Franky glanced at it curiously.

"You feeling okay?" he asked.

Brook yawned. "Well . . ."

"Get some sleep," Franky said, clapping him on the back again and grabbing him in a quick hug. "I'll see you tonight, yeah?"

"Have a good day," Brook murmured. He backed up and lay down in his bed, pulling the blanket over him and curling up. Franky got dressed and threw him another glance before heading out to talk to Robin.

* * *

"Ms. Robin . . ."

Robin looked up from the couch. "Afternoon," she said with a smile. "How are you?"

Brook sat next to her. "A bit tired . . . and I have a headache . . . but no worse for wear. How are you?"

"I'm fine." She shut her book and set it down. "I understand you're a werewolf?"

Brook nodded and looked at her, and she noticed his eyes had become yellow.

"I tried to attack Mr. Franky," he said mournfully.

"Oh, I'm sure you couldn't help it," she said reassuringly, patting his shoulder. "He wasn't hurt, and now that we know, we can take precautions for all of us. Right?"

"Right."

"How did this happen, though?" Robin added thoughtfully. "Were you bitten recently?"

Brook shrugged. "There _was_ that young man at the store . . . perhaps he . . . ?"

"Maybe," Robin said. "Your eyes turned yellow, did you know?"

Brook blinked and rubbed his eyelids. "Did they? Everything looks strange today . . . I believe I've gone colorblind."

Robin hummed in thought. "Interesting . . . were there any other changes to your anatomy?"

Brook hesitated. "I have a tail."

Robin glanced at his pants.

They burst out laughing.

"Good to know," she said at last, recovering. She suddenly giggled again. "I'm sorry, I just imagined a wolf with hair like yours—"

Brook covered his mouth as he laughed with her.

"What a strange day this is," he remarked. "I've never liked supernatural things, you know—vampires, werewolves, living skeletons, ghosts—but here I am now! I do hope I don't run into a living skeleton, however . . ."

"You could chew on its bones," Robin suggested, her mouth twitching.

"Oh, yes, I could—" Brook cut himself off and shot her an indignant look.

"I'll fix you something to eat," she said, smiling. "Anything you want?"

Brook hesitated. "I'm feeling . . . rare meat at the moment."

"Is that so?"

"Ms. Robin, leave me alone, I can't help this!"

"Would you like to play fetch after lunch?"

"_Ms. Robin!" _


	119. Modern-Day: Vampire Chopper

**Wow, it's been a while! It's been a long while. It's been too long. I'm really sorry this took so long. (Many thanks to Lew for helping out with this chapter...) **

**Actually, before we start, I need opinions on something: I got a request for the Modern AU, which without giving away too many details involves Sanji, Brook, and Luffy chilling. I'd love to write this, but I feel like the age differences would make it a little weird. I'm sure I could make it work somehow, but does anyone have any opinion on whether it's good or not either way? **

**(Also, there's probably going to be no specific Halloween chapter this year, but I'll see if I can't get the next chapter up on that day.) **

**ForeverAWSOMEAuraSpaceDragon requested Vampire Chopper! **

**Non-humans: Vampire Chopper **

**Modern AU **

* * *

Chopper yawned, writing down an answer on the sheet of paper in front of him. He'd woken up in a panic, as he'd foolishly forgotten to do his homework from earlier, and he was now in the living room with a cup of cold water working out algebra solutions. His parents would be out until dawn—both were needed at the hospital for an emergency call.

"Um," he mumbled, squinting at the paper. "So, five times five, and then . . . no, that's not right . . . yes it is. Okay."

A knock came from the door, and Chopper, startled, almost dropped his pen. He looked to the clock.

"They're back already?" he murmured. "Why'd they knock . . . ? Oh, Dad must've forgotten the keys again . . ."

He stood, yawned, and went to the front door, fumbling with the lock and pulling it open.

"Hi," Chopper said. "Can I help you, miss?"

The woman smiled apologetically. "Sorry to bother you, but I need to call someone, and I don't have change for a payphone. May I come in?"

* * *

Unfortunately, when the vampire had had her fill and knocked Chopper out, laying him gently on the couch, she didn't quite realize just how much she had taken.

As she made her way back to the front door, licking her lips, she stole a glance back to where Chopper lay on the couch, unconscious and breathing faintly.

She hesitated, but shook her head, reassuring herself that her victim would recover with a few hours of rest and good food upon waking.

With that, she stepped into the night again, relocking the door with the key she'd found inside and dropping it under the doormat. She went on her way, leaving Chopper alone in the house again, his faint breathing growing slower and weaker by the minute.

* * *

"You do it."

"It's your turn."

"We both did it yesterday, it's no one's turn. I'm _telling _you to do it."

The wild-haired man driving the car screeched to a halt at a red light (how he had ever gotten his driver's license in the first place was a mystery) and turned to the pale-haired woman next to him. "Then, we should both drive him, right? He has to leave in . . . what time is it? Two hours."

"I need my beauty sleep, Hiruluk."

Hiruluk squinted at her.

"If you know what's good for you, you won't say a word."

He turned back to the road and began driving again at the green light. They drove in silence for quite a while. When they had been driving through a suburban area for a few minutes, Hiruluk spoke up again.

"Kureha . . . did you remember to bring the house key?"

Kureha slowly turned to him. "I told _you_ to grab it."

Silence. A bead of sweat rolled down Hiruluk's face.

"You're taking Chopper to school."

"I suppose that's fair."

He pulled into the driveway, and they got out, getting their things from the trunk.

"Do you still have that blood pack?" Kureha asked, eyeing Hiruluk's old-fashioned (and frankly suspicious) black bag.

"Of course," Hiruluk said. They stopped at the door. "I don't remember why they wanted me to keep it—how are we going to get in the house, by the way? I don't want to wake Chopper unless we have to—"

"They didn't want you to keep it, you asked to keep the spare for experiments and they said no but you took it anyway. I don't know how we're going to get in. Do you have a screwdriver—? No, the hinges aren't on this side—"

Hiruluk patted his pockets. "Well, I definitely don't have the key," he announced. He knelt and lifted up the doormat. "Maybe I—ah_-hah!" _

He came back up, holding the key proudly.

"Why was it _there?" _Kureha snapped. "That's not safe!"

"I must have put it there and forgot about it," Hiruluk said merrily, fumbling with the lock.

"We left together, I swear I never saw you . . . never mind."

Hiruluk finally opened the lock and they crept into the house.

"I'll check on Chopper," Kureha murmured, setting her things in the corner and turning on the hall light.

"I'll get ready for bed," Hiruluk said, putting his bag nearby and kneeling to look for the blood pack to put in the fridge.

Kureha went down the hall. Hiruluk heard the faint creak of the door being pushed open, and then he looked up when she came back with a frown.

"He wasn't there," she said in worry. She took a step behind Hiruluk, looked around, and sighed. "Oh . . ."

"Oh," Hiruluk repeated, turning around and smiling. Chopper lay on the couch, his incomplete homework resting on the coffee table and his eyes shut, mouth slightly parted.

"He fell asleep doing his homework," Kureha murmured, closing the workbook and straightening the table. She glanced at Chopper again and frowned after a moment.

"I'm sure he can finish it before his class," Hiruluk said confidently. "He's so smart—"

"Shut up for a second," Kureha hissed. Hiruluk fell silent in surprise while Kureha leaned over Chopper, holding her ear to his face.

"He's not breathing," she whispered.

"What?"

"He's not breathing!" Kureha pressed a hand to his chest, feeling for a heartbeat. "Toss me a bag!"

Hiruluk picked up his bag and quickly handed it off to her, kneeling next to Chopper with wide worried eyes. Kureha found a stethoscope and pressed it to his chest.

"No heartbeat," she said, her voice shaking. She grit her teeth and tossed the stethoscope aside. "Hiruluk—"

"No pulse," he said, hands shaking as he felt Chopper's leg. "He's so _cold_—"

"We need to call the hospital," Kureha said, standing. "Help us, don't tell me he—how did this _happen?!" _

"Wait," Hiruluk said, and though his tone was firm, his hands shook as he pulled up Chopper's shirt and checked him, feeling his cold face and neck. "Rigor mortis is just setting in . . . but livor mortis is barely showing."

"What—we don't have time for—"

"Kureha, I can save him. Don't call the hospital."

Hiruluk searched his bag, pulled out the blood pack he had insisted on stealing, and cut it open using his pocketknife. With shaking hands (for he was scared, of course, what if he had lost his only son?), he slowly trickled the blood into Chopper's mouth.

"What are you _doing?!" _Kureha yelled.

Chopper swallowed, and her breath hitched in her throat.

"Hiruluk," she said. "He's alive . . . ?"

She spun around and went to the kitchen to get a glass of water. Hiruluk doggedly continued his task, getting as much blood as he could into Chopper.

By the time Kureha had knelt next to them with a fresh glass of water, Chopper's eyes were fluttering open.

"Ow," he mumbled, rubbing his face. "What . . ."

He was nearly crushed by the hugs from his parents.

"Mom?" he said in surprise. "Dad? You're back . . . what's going on? What is it?"

"Oh, Chopper," Kureha murmured, tears leaking from her eyes.

Hiruluk pulled back, smiling even through the waterfall of his tears. "What a relief . . . what a relief this is!"

"Chopper, here—" Kureha grabbed the glass of water and shoved it at him. He gulped it down and licked his lips.

"What's going on?" he repeated.

"Let me check you over," Kureha exclaimed. "You _stay there_—"

"You're sure not going to like what you find," Hiruluk remarked, rubbing at his eyes. Kureha retrieved the stethoscope and pressed the metal circle to Chopper's chest, hooking the ends into her ears. A moment later, she frowned.

"Now, let's see," she muttered, moving it around. Her frown grew deeper and she pressed fingers to Chopper's wrist and neck, feeling for a pulse. She felt his forehead (still so cold) and stuck a thermometer in his mouth.

When she ran out of things to check him with (leaving him very confused and nervous), she sat back on the floor, hands shaking.

"Hiruluk," she said. "What did you _do?" _

"He had lost too much blood," Hiruluk explained.

Silence.

"That's not a complete explanation!" Kureha snapped. "Tell me what you did!"

"What's going on?" Chopper repeated.

"Let's all . . . sit down," Hiruluk suggested weakly. Chopper scooted to the center and his parents sat on either side of him.

"Chopper, what do you remember?" Hiruluk asked gently.

Chopper frowned. "Um . . . well, I forgot to do my math homework," he admitted, rather ashamed.

"It's okay," Kureha said, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Go on."

Chopper nodded. "So, I was working on it out here, and then . . . someone knocked at the door. I went to open it, and then . . ." He frowned. "I dunno what happened after that."

Hiruluk took in a deep breath and let it out very slowly. "Just as I thought."

"Explain," Kureha said tersely, still holding Chopper's shoulder.

"Chopper, you . . . died, more or less," Hiruluk said.

"What?!" Chopper cried.

"Just now, you were here, and . . ." He paused, struggling to say the words. "No, I won't get into details, it'll only give you nightmares. To put it simply, I noticed you had lost quite a lot of blood, despite that there were no signs of a struggle and no visible wounds."

"Get to the point," Kureha snapped.

"Right, right—Chopper, the person at the door must have been a vampire."

Chopper's eyes widened. "What?! There are vampires?!"

"I have a friend who's a vampire—"

"Not this again!" Kureha exclaimed.

"But that's how I knew we could save Chopper!" Hiruluk protested. "Chopper, you must have invited that vampire inside—they took too much blood from you, and—oh, of course, _that's_ why the key was under the doormat—"

"Chopper, never answer the door when you're home alone at night," Kureha said sternly.

"Sorry," Chopper whispered. "But . . . if they took too much blood, why . . . ?"

He hugged himself.

"My friend told me how he became a vampire," Hiruluk said. "He had been drained of a _lethal_ amount of blood, but someone had saved him by giving him their blood. He rewoke as a vampire himself."

Chopper's eyes darted to the empty blood pouch on the floor. He licked his lips, and his eyes widened and his mouth popped open in realization.

"I'm—a vampire?!"

"That you are," Hiruluk affirmed, giving him a one-armed hug.

Chopper began to cry.

"I don't think I have any choice but to believe you, seeing the evidence," Kureha said loudly, "but look what you've done!"

"I—I'm fine," Chopper insisted through tears. "I just—don't like vampires—"

"Hey, hey, you can do this," Hiruluk exclaimed in panicked reassurance. "We can meet with my friend, I'm sure he can show you what to do and everything!"

Chopper gulped and wiped at his face. "I wanna go to bed."

"Come on," Kureha said, keeping a grip on his shoulders as they stood. "Get some sleep before school."

She shot a glare at Hiruluk as they left. When she returned, she kicked him in the shin.

"_Ow!" _

"I _know_ you had no other way to save him," she said before he could get a word out. "But he's still upset!"

"He'll be fine!" Hiruluk insisted, clutching his leg. "For God's sake, bless His name, there was no need to kick me!"

Kureha sighed through her nose and turned away. "You're still driving him in a couple hours. I'm going to bed."

Hiruluk limped around the room, cleaning up medical supplies before following her down the hall.

* * *

"_Mom! Dad!" _

Hiruluk and Kureha woke in a panic and hurried to the bathroom, where they found Chopper staring into the mirror above the sink.

"I—I'm not—" Chopper gestured frantically to the mirror, where Kureha and Hiruluk could see themselves perfectly but not their son.

"Vampires don't have reflections," Hiruluk said helpfully. Kureha shot him a look as Chopper's eyes widened.

"Oh," he whispered. "Then . . . I can't see myself ever again?"

Hiruluk shifted. "No," he said at last. "I don't believe so."

"I'm sure we could find a portrait artist," Kureha butt in, giving him a look. "One of those skilled painters—"

"Yes, there you go!" Hiruluk exclaimed.

". . . Do I have to drink people's blood?"

"Well, yes," Hiruluk said matter-of-factly. Seeing Chopper hang his head, he quickly added, "We can meet with my friend later, I'm sure he can show you how to do it—"

"Can I still have regular food?"

Kureha eyed Hiruluk.

"No," he admitted. "I'm sorry."

". . . I'm gonna get ready for school now."

"I'll be in the car," Hiruluk said, backing out with a yawn. "Have some water, and put on as much sunscreen as you can."

He left to change. Kureha came forward and stood next to Chopper, looking at him.

"Mom?"

"Yes?"

"Am I even human anymore?"

"Oh, Chopper—" She hugged him around the middle. "You're not a _monster_. We almost lost you last night, and it's strange for sure, but I don't care that your body's changed now. You're still you."

He sniffled loudly and hugged her back.

"Do what your father says," she added when she pulled back. "If everything he's said about that friend is true, the sunscreen will help."

Chopper nodded and opened up the cabinet to search for a bottle as she left.

* * *

"Now, the sun will burn, so if you think the sunscreen's wearing off cover yourself as much as possible," Hiruluk said as he drove along the road, Chopper next to him. "Don't try eating regular food . . . apparently it won't kill you, but it won't end well. Don't get near garlic or re . . . oh, dear, that may be a problem . . . well, we'll deal with it later. And, let's see, what else is there . . ."

"I'm gonna tell my friends."

"Usopp and Luffy?" Hiruluk said. "And, ah, Nami?"

"And Zoro and Sanji."

"Oh, those are new ones, eh? Good for you. If you like, go right ahead."

"Mm." Chopper yawned.

"I think you are nocturnal now, so take a nap if you can sneak one," Hiruluk added helpfully.

"Oh."

They stopped in the drop-off area, and Chopper shifted, holding his backpack tight.

"I'm sorry about this," Hiruluk said, staring at the wheel, and Chopper looked up. "We would have lost you forever if I hadn't done that. But it must be hard, Chopper. I'm sorry."

"I . . . I'll get used to it, I bet," Chopper said in a wobbly voice, playing brave.

He was just getting ready to get out when Hiruluk said, "Hey, Chopper. Two peanuts were walking through the park."

Chopper looked back curiously.

"One was _a-salted!" _

Chopper burst into giggles.

"Have a good day," Hiruluk said with a grin.

"Thank you!"

* * *

"You feeling okay?" Usopp whispered to Chopper while Robin's back was turned.

Chopper shrugged. "I'm tired," he whispered. "I'll tell you guys at lunch."

"Huh? Okay."

"Keep the whispering down, Usopp, Chopper," Robin said without turning around (as usual, it was like she had eyes in the back of her head).

"Yes, ma'am," they said together. Chopper's eyes traveled to Usopp's neck before he was distracted with trying to pay attention to the teacher.

* * *

Zoro asked a similar question during second class, and even Luffy during math, at which Chopper panicked upon realizing he never finished his math homework. The teacher was sympathetic and dropped the assignment.

When lunch finally came, Chopper pulled out his lunch box with the others (a few sitting with trays from the counter) and opened it up, only to remember what his father had said about eating regular food. He had absentmindedly packed the lunch his mother had made the previous night . . .

"Something wrong?" Sanji asked, noticing this.

Without a word, Chopper shoved his lunch to Luffy and lay his head facedown in his arms. Luffy looked between him and the lunch before speaking up.

"Not hungry?"

Chopper shook his head.

"Can I have this?"

A nod.

"Cool, thanks!"

Luffy started eating; the others gave him looks before turning back to Chopper.

"What's wrong?" Usopp asked. "Oh, yeah, you wanted to tell us something, right?"

Chopper lifted his head and nodded again, yawning. "I, um . . . I'm a vampire."

Usopp's eyes widened and he flung himself backwards into Sanji with a small scream, making them both fall from the bench. Luffy looked up, distracted from the food, while Zoro and Nami frowned.

"A _vampire?" _Luffy said in amazement. "That's so cool!"

"What do you mean, a vampire?" Nami demanded as Usopp and Sanji picked themselves up.

"Yeah!" Usopp exclaimed, seating himself again and crossing his arms. "Explain!"

"I—dad told me." Chopper stared at the table as he slowly recounted what his father had said. When he'd finished, the others held expressions of shock, sympathy, and slight disbelief.

"Do you mind if I . . . ?" Nami tentatively gestured to her wrist, and Chopper nodded, holding out his hand. She felt around his arm and bit her lip.

"No pulse," she said at last.

"Are you gonna drink blood?" Luffy asked, eyes shining.

"Don't be so blunt," Sanji hissed as Usopp winced.

"I guess," Chopper said, shrugging helplessly. "I . . ."

"You were kinda looking at my neck earlier, I thought," Zoro remarked. "Is that because of this?"

Chopper shrugged again and looked to Usopp. "I know you don't like—vampires," he said tentatively. "And me either—but—"

"Well—no, this is okay," Usopp said quickly. "It's super weird! But, like, you wouldn't sap my blood without permission, right?"

"No!"

"Okay! We're good!"

"Okay!"

They gave each other grins.

"Do you need to rest?" Nami asked gently. "You seem tired, and if you are nocturnal, well . . ."

"Maybe a bit," Chopper agreed, putting his head in his arms. Within minutes he was asleep.

"This is so cool," Luffy declared. "I wonder if he has cool vampire powers?"

Nami hit him. "You are _so_ insensitive!"

"What'd I do?!"

* * *

Kureha picked Chopper up from school, and had to wake him up when they got home. He sleepily dropped his backpack by the door and shuffled to his room to get some much-needed sleep.

"I called Dalton," Hiruluk announced, coming into the living room. "I'll take Chopper to meet him tonight so he can tell him anything else he needs to know about this."

Kureha, sitting on the couch, gave him a stiff nod.

"What is it?"

"I can't make him his favorite foods anymore," she murmured. "I just realized."

Hiruluk let out a low sigh. "It's a bad situation for all of us. Not to mention, I believe vampires are . . . repelled by religious symbols."

Kureha looked up sharply. "How so?"

"I don't know exactly—only that it's bad."

Kureha buried her face in her hands.

"We'll get through this," Hiruluk said encouragingly, sitting next to her. "Chopper's strong, he can do this—and I know how strong _you_ are."

He rubbed his shin as he said this, and Kureha cracked a smile, removing her hands.

"I should just be grateful he's still here, shouldn't I?"

"No worries, no worries here."

"Can he still attend the service tomorrow?"

"We can try."

* * *

That evening, Chopper rose well after sunset and joined his parents in the living room. After lighting a few candles and murmuring a prayer (which felt funny to Chopper's ears now, not in a pleasant way), Hiruluk hesitantly brought something out.

"I thought we should check this," he said, displaying the Star of David charm upon his palm. Instantly Chopper flinched away.

"I—why's—?" He scooted back nervously.

Hiruluk stowed it away again and Chopper relaxed.

"We're worried the service tomorrow will be bad for you," Kureha said bluntly. "Do you want to come?"

Chopper nodded hesitantly. "I'll just—look away from the stars?" he said, somewhat bravely.

"If it turns out you can't stay . . ." Hiruluk placed his hand on Chopper's. "Know it's not your fault."

Chopper nodded and licked his lips. "Um . . ."

"Come with me," Hiruluk said, yawning and standing. "Let's go meet my friend."

* * *

Hiruluk's vampire friend, Dalton, was built like an ox but gentle in nature. He greeted Chopper warmly (they had met when Chopper was younger, before either had become what they were now) and showed him slowly the ropes of drinking from a human being, using Hiruluk as a first example, who as usual informed Dalton he wanted dinner first.

It took several attempts for Chopper to be able to do it himself; the first few times he chickened out and pulled away at the last second, forcing Dalton to take over and wipe the memory of whoever they had stopped. When at last he pulled himself together and completed the task, Hiruluk had to tap his shoulder to get him to pull away.

". . . I think that's it."

Dalton had just finished telling Chopper about the changes with his body, what to avoid, et cetera.

"Unless there's anything else, we can go," Dalton said. He'd offered to accompany (and supervise) Chopper for at least the first night, to Hiruluk's relief.

"Um—" Chopper raised a tentative hand. "Can you add things to blood?"

Dalton frowned. "How so? Well, I suppose alcohol, but you're too . . ."

"I mean like sugar."

Hiruluk's laughter turned into coughing and he faced away until he had recovered.

"I think so," Dalton said at last. "But where would you get—?"

Chopper's eyes shone and he pulled several café sugar packets from his pockets.

"Came prepared, did you," Dalton said at last.

"I'll be heading home," Hiruluk said with a big grin. "Chopper, you be back well before sunrise, you hear? Your mother will have our hides if you're not!"

"Okay!" Chopper exclaimed. "Goodnight!"

* * *

"And you put on sunscreen?"

"If he hadn't, he'd be burning to a crisp," Hiruluk pointed out as they drove along. Chopper, sitting in the back, adjusted his yarmulke with a yawn.

"It's cloudy today," Kureha pointed out. "Your yarmulke is all crooked, hold still—"

She stopped at a red light and quickly adjusted his cap for him.

"Many thanks," he said, checking his reflection.

They arrived at the synagogue with plenty of time to spare. All three went to the door, Kureha fixing her headscarf (like her family, she wore no head covering except for religious services and holidays), and entered.

Many were already there, and the rabbi greeted their familiar faces with cheer. They sat in a middle row, offering smiles to others.

Chopper shivered and held himself.

"How are you?" Kureha whispered as others entered the place and took their seats.

"Um," Chopper said in a tiny voice. "It hurts . . . and it's hard, with the big . . ."

Hiruluk looked up at the large Star of David hanging on the wall behind the rabbi. "Ah, yes," he murmured. "It's too far away to hurt, don't worry."

Chopper nodded, but winced and stayed silent.

The service began soon, with the rabbi reading aloud a passage from the Torah (it hurt Chopper's ears as if someone had boxed the sides of his head, though this passed as soon as the reading had finished) and following up with asking everyone to take the siddur and find a certain passage.

Chopper's hands shook and felt heavy as he opened the book and struggled to find the right page. Kureha quickly turned it for him and studied him in concern. His eyes were beginning to sting as he silently read the translated lines, and his whole body ached with enormous pain as if he'd been in a very bad fight and lost.

"Chopper?"

He barely heard his father saying his name, even as he heard the rabbi ask him to read the passage.

Chopper stood, legs shaking and hands hurting as he opened his mouth to read aloud.

He couldn't get a single word out before he dropped the book and fell back into his seat with a noise of pain, curling into himself and shaking.

"Chopper," his parents said together.

"Very sorry, rabbi," Hiruluk said quickly as he and Kureha helped Chopper stand. "He wasn't feeling well earlier but wanted to come—I think we should go."

"Certainly, whatever's best," the rabbi said sympathetically. "God be with ye, bless His name."

"Thank you," Kureha said gratefully.

Sympathetic murmurs followed them as she and Hiruluk helped Chopper out of the synagogue. When they'd shut the doors behind them and gotten back into the car, he had stopped shaking, and the pain was fading from his body.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"You didn't do anything," Hiruluk said gently.

Chopper wiped at his eyes. "It's not—_bad_, is it? To go for so long and then suddenly stop?"

"You listen here," Kureha said sternly, twisting around in the driver's seat. "You aren't doing anything wrong by not going to service when it's bad for you like this. And if _He_ doesn't like it, then He's not worth having faith in!"

Hiruluk gave a low whistle as Chopper stared at her with wide eyes.

"Okay," he whispered at last.

"Now let's go home," Kureha said, turning back around. "You need rest, and your father and I could stand to take naps, too."

* * *

**I should probably make a blanket statement that all marriages in this are platonic + convenience, but I think this is the last one we'll see. Basically, both Kureha's and Hiruluk's families were pressuring them to get married, so they married each other and pretended to be in love whenever their families were around. Both eventually wanted a child, however, so they adopted Chopper from an orphanage when he was six. **


	120. Modern-Day: Werewolf Ace

**Happy Halloween! **

**XxMellowHeart11xX, cantlogin, Ace Spiritwell, and betsybugaboo requested WW Ace! **

**Non-humans: WW Ace **

**Modern AU **

* * *

"_OW!" _

Ace clutched his leg, blood dripping down his calf as Garp gave a fierce kick to the wolf which had bitten him, sending the creature flying.

"Are you okay?!" Luffy cried, running back with Sabo and dropping to his knees.

"Yeah, I'll be fine," Ace said through gritted teeth. "I . . ."

His eyes rolled back into his head as he passed out onto the dirt.

"Ace?" Garp said, kneeling. He swore under his breath. "Sabo—"

"Luffy, gonna need this back," Sabo said, taking the jacket off Luffy's shoulders and handing it off to Garp, who quickly tied it around Ace's leg.

"We gotta get him to the hospital," Garp said, making to pick Ace up, but then Ace stirred.

"Wh—" He turned his head and threw up onto the ground. "Ugh . . ."

"I got you," Garp said, lifting him. "Don't you try walking with that leg right now, and certainly not if you're going to get sick everywhere."

"I'm fine," Ace protested weakly, struggling to get out of Garp's grip as they started to walk, Luffy and Sabo nearly jogging to keep up.

"But you threw up," Luffy pointed out.

"We're going to the hospital," Garp added to Ace.

Ace frowned. "No."

"Yes, we are!"

"I don't want to deal with that, old man—they're not gonna get my name right, they never do—"

"Wolves never attack humans," Garp said, never slowing his pace. "Only reason they'd ever do that is if they're threatened or starving, and that one looked healthy as anything and we hadn't done a thing. It might've had some kinda disease for all we know, _and_ you passed out and threw up just now. You're getting a checkup for your own good."

Ace crossed his arms over his chest, turning away.

"Just put up with it for tonight," Garp muttered. "You can do that."

"I don't have to like it."

"No one said you did."

"Doctors and stuff are dumb like that," Luffy said in his usual helpful way. "That they don't get your name right, I mean."

Ace gave him a weak grin. "Thanks, Lu."

"Your name's got plenty of cool stuff attached to it," Sabo added. "Ace in the hole, Ace of spades, Ace detective . . ."

"Watch me become a pilot and I'll be a flying Ace," Ace joked, mood lifting already.

* * *

Ace muttered things under his breath nearly the whole time he was at the hospital, and Luffy occasionally asked him what a certain phrase he had said meant, to which Sabo and Garp smacked Ace for letting Luffy hear something like that.

He was eventually deemed fit to leave, free of illness, and went home with his family a few days later than planned.

A month passed. Garp had left, leaving the three brothers living alone once more, and one morning Ace awoke with a fever.

"You need anything?" Sabo asked, feeling Ace's forehead again, Luffy crouching by the bed and staring at Ace intently. Ace's pants and binder still lay sloppily on the floor—as usual, he only wore a large shirt and boxers to bed, and it seemed he hadn't gotten up yet.

"Just sleep," Ace mumbled, closing his eyes. "Maybe water."

Sabo left to grab a glass, and Luffy piped up, "I can bring your stuff in here."

Ace looked at him, surprised he had thought of that. "No, yesterday was the last day . . . I'm good," he said at last. He gave Luffy a weak grin. "Thanks, Lu."

Sabo returned with the water and set it on the night stand.

"Not hungry?" he added.

Ace shook his head. "Stomach hurts."

Sabo frowned and pushed a few locks of hair away from Ace's face. "Yell if you need anything. We'll check on you later."

He stood and made to leave. Luffy reached out and patted Ace's head.

"Hm?"

"Get better soon," Luffy ordered.

Ace shut his eyes again. "Yeah. Get outta here."

Luffy grinned and left the room.

* * *

Ace slept fitfully throughout the day, staining his sheets with sweat and eventually throwing his shirt to the floor with the rest of his clothes, curling up under the blanket.

That evening, after sunset, he trembled and shook, sitting up in bed and holding himself as his skin prickled all over.

Meanwhile, Luffy and Sabo were arguing in the bathroom.

"Open your mouth," Sabo said sternly.

Luffy shook his head, his toothbrush stuck in his mouth. He gestured to it.

"You're not brushing your teeth, you didn't even put toothpaste on, now open your mouth!"

Luffy swallowed and opened his mouth.

"I see the food bits!" Sabo exclaimed. "Did you think I wouldn't see you chewing?!"

Luffy stuck out his tongue. "Well, yeah! It wasn't that obvious!"

"Crunching on something with a toothbrush in your mouth is _so_ obvious! I swear, we need a lock for the pantry!"

Luffy was about to protest when a cry down the hall made them fall silent. They went to the door and looked down.

"Ace?" Sabo called.

An animalistic growl made him and Luffy tense.

"What was _that?" _Luffy said in wonder, starting off down the hall. "Ace?"

"Hey, I'm first," Sabo protested, hurrying in front of Luffy. They got to Ace's door, and Sabo knocked and opened it slowly. "Ace? How're you—_whoa!" _

He slammed the door shut as something big leapt for him. The creature crashed into the door and a whimper floated through the wood.

"What was _that?!" _Luffy exclaimed.

"I think . . . it was a wolf?" Sabo said in confusion. "It was too hairy to be Ace . . ."

"But then . . . where's Ace?" Luffy asked, looking around.

They left the door shut and checked the surrounding rooms and even expanded to the entire house—but Ace was nowhere in sight.

"He . . . did he never leave his room?" Sabo said, paling. "That thing . . . what if it . . ."

He grit his teeth. "Luffy, go lock yourself in the bathroom."

"What? No! I wanna see if Ace is okay!"

"Whatever's behind that door came right for us!" Sabo protested. "I'm stronger than you!"

"Are not!"

"Are _too! _I'm not arguing right now! Go hide in the bathroom, I'll be there with Ace in a minute!"

Luffy's lip trembled and he whirled around, storming into the bathroom and slamming the door shut. Sabo went to the kitchen, telling himself he could regret yelling at Luffy all he wanted _later_ while he grabbed a skillet and went back to Ace's room.

"Okay," he muttered, holding the pan at the ready. "Three . . . two . . . one . . ."

He threw open the door again and snapped on the light, looking around. The creature—it was almost certainly a wolf, a _huge_ one with black fur and yellow eyes—whipped towards him, growling. But Ace was nowhere to be seen.

Sabo vaulted over the wolf as it charged for him and opened the closet. Nothing.

"Come on, Ace," he groaned, as if Ace was hiding from him on purpose.

He turned just in time to dodge another strike from the wolf.

"How the hell did you get in here?!" he yelled in frustration, swinging the skillet down and smacking the beast between the shoulder blades. "Wolves don't even come to this area! The doors've been shut all day! So why—?!"

The wolf shook its head, shuddering from the blow, and looked to Sabo again with a fierce growl. Their eyes met at last.

Sabo's widened.

"No . . ."

But the wolf was so aggressive, and huge, just like the one that had—that had _bitten Ace_ last month, _one month ago_—

"Ace!" Sabo exclaimed, holding Ace at bay with the skillet, stumbling out of the way of the hostile snaps and snarls. "Ace, it's me, _stop_—"

Ace tackled him to the ground, paws on his chest, and Sabo smacked him in the side of the head with the skillet instinctively, giving himself time to roll away from underneath Ace and stand up, clutching his torso.

"I'll see you tomorrow," he said, hurrying to the door. He looked back at Ace, who turned to him again, still so hostile. "I'm sorry."

He leapt out of the room and slammed the door shut behind him, leaning against it as he heard the _bang_ of Ace headbutting the door, and the whine of frustration.

Slowly, he stood and went to the bathroom, knocking on the door. No response.

"Luffy, don't do this," he said tiredly. "Please."

A moment later, the lock clicked and the door opened. Luffy stood there with a childish frown, still upset about being yelled at, but when he saw Sabo's expression his own melted away.

"What is it?" he said. "Where's Ace? Why d'you have a frying pan?"

Sabo looked down at the pan, still clutched tightly in his hand, and tossed it aside, hugging Luffy instead.

"Sorry I yelled," he murmured.

"Oh. Okay."

He pulled back. "Ace is—he's the wolf."

Luffy's eyes widened.

"A werewolf," Sabo clarified, glancing to the side and scratching the left side of his face. "Last month, that wolf that went after us—"

"Can I see him?" Luffy demanded, trying to move past Sabo.

"_No!" _Sabo flung out an arm to stop him. "No," he repeated. "I tried talking to him—he didn't know me at all. He's not him right now."

Luffy looked to Ace's door with a worried frown, hearing a whine. "Then . . . ?"

"He'll probably . . . turn back human tomorrow morning," Sabo said. "Let's try to sleep in the meantime."

Luffy sucked in his lips and nodded.

"Are you okay?" he added to Sabo.

Sabo nodded. "Are you?"

Luffy shuffled his feet. "Can I sleep with you tonight?"

"Don't even have to ask, Lu."

* * *

Sabo and Luffy sat up in a tangle of limbs to a sharp knocking at the door. Once they'd freed their arms and legs from each other, they went to the door and Sabo cracked it open, and then pulled it out all the way.

Ace, bags under his yellow eyes and his t-shirt and boxers back on, a fluffy black tail hanging out from them, lowered his hand.

"Hey," he said weakly.

Luffy pushed past Sabo and hugged Ace tightly around the middle.

"Hi," he said into Ace's shirt.

"How're you?" Ace asked, hugging him and patting his back. He looked up at Sabo and said, "I . . ."

Sabo seemed about to say something, but then he saw the bruise on the side of Ace's face, made by the skillet, and instead he bit his lip and hugged him with one arm, his head falling onto Ace's shoulder.

"M'sorry," Ace murmured, holding both of them.

"Help," Luffy mumbled, being squashed between them. Ace and Sabo pulled back, releasing him, and Ace rubbed the side of his head.

"Strong arm you got there," he said with a weak smile.

"Come on," Sabo muttered, rubbing at his eye with a little grin. "It was just adrenaline. Um—how d'you feel?"

"Tired," Ace said, glancing back at Luffy, who had squat down to bat at Ace's tail. "Luffy, cut it out. I'm gonna . . . go to bed."

"I'll make lunch today," Sabo offered. "And I guess we can talk about this then?"

Ace shrugged. "Yeah." He squinted and sniffed the air, but just shook his head a moment later. "Hey, Luffy, I said get off."

* * *

"You're a _werewolf_," Luffy said with a grin as soon as Ace had seated himself at the table.

"Yeah, I guess," Ace said with a wince, grinning at Sabo in thanks as his lunch was placed in front of him. "Hey, dogs are colorblind, right?"

"Yeah," Sabo said, cleaning off his hands habitually before getting his own lunch and sitting with his brothers.

"I always thought that meant black-and-white," Ace remarked, looking around again.

"Your eyes look so cool," Luffy blurted out.

"Why, what do they look like?" Ace said in surprise.

"Haven't you looked at yourself?" Sabo asked. "You're all dressed and everything."

"I'm colorblind now, it's stupid," Ace explained, rubbing his eyes again. "Um . . . reds and greens aren't there."

"Oh, wolves must be colorblind like dogs, then," Sabo said. He'd hardly started on his lunch, but Luffy had finished half his already.

Ace frowned. "So, what do my eyes look like?"

"They're _yellow_," Luffy said with a grin. "Not brown!"

"Are they? That's neat."

"Can I pet your tail?"

"Not right now!" Ace sighed. "It must've been that thing that attacked us last month, right? The old man said wolves don't go after humans, but if that was a werewolf . . ."

"Figured as much," Sabo agreed. "This is probably going to happen every month, right?"

Ace made a face. "Yeah."

"What's it like being a wolf?" Luffy demanded. His lunch had mysteriously vanished.

Ace shrugged. "I dunno. It . . . hurt, transforming . . . but after that, and after Sabo left . . ." He shot an apologetic look to Sabo at this. "It was lonely."

"I'll stay with you next month!"

"No, you won't," Ace and Sabo said together.

Luffy sat back in his chair with a frown. "But—"

"But nothing," Ace snapped. "I didn't know either of you last night, and I almost hurt—" He grit his teeth. "It's better to be lonely than injure one of you."

Luffy shifted. "Okay."

"Wanna go do something today?" Sabo asked. He grinned. "If you're a dog now, we can play fetch at the park."

Ace growled, surprising everyone in the room, including himself.

* * *

A few months passed, and school started for Luffy, and eventually Ace and Sabo. Ace would take the day before the full moon off, and once the day after.

One day, a few days after he discovered he couldn't have chocolate anymore (to his dismay), he batted Sabo's hand away from his ears and glanced up. "Hey . . ."

"What's up?" Sabo said, lowering his hand.

"Ever since I've been like this . . . um . . . the sailors haven't taken warning."

Sabo blinked, dawning comprehension on his face. "Oh. Um, you need a doctor?"

Ace scowled. "No, I just think . . . well, I don't feel sick or anything, so I think it's because I'm a werewolf now."

"Then . . . never again?"

Ace grinned. "That would be great. I'll take this over that any day."

Sabo hesitated.

"What?"

"So . . . can we call lycanthropy your time of month?"

Ace stood up and left the room.


	121. Modern-Day: Busted

**The question at the end of this chapter was asked to a few friends of mine. The answers ranged from maybe to yes. **

**Kalainea requested Luffy spotting Zoro's tail in the Modern AU! **

**Non-humans: WW Zoro **

**Modern AU**

* * *

Zoro checked the bathroom door as he came out of the stall, his tail still brazenly hanging outside his pants as he went to the sink and washed up.

He was just tucking his tail back in, examining the results in the mirror, when the door burst open and he jumped, covering his behind with his hands.

"Hi," Luffy said cheerfully. "Everyone said I had something in my teeth and that I should go check." He went to the mirror next to Zoro and glanced down as he picked at his gums. "Hey, what're you doing?"

"Um . . ." Zoro attempted to adopt a casual pose with his hands as they were. "Just . . . hanging out."

"Hanging out?"

"Yep."

Luffy shrugged and turned back to the mirror, frowning as he tried to get at the piece of corn from last night. Zoro shifted his hands, doing his best to be subtle about his actions.

"What was that?"

"Nothing," Zoro said too quickly, moving his hands again, but Luffy had caught a glimpse—it was too late.

"Was that fur?" he said curiously, poking Zoro's hand away. His eyes lit up. "Is that a _tail?!" _

"No," Zoro lied, turning around and backing away as he hastily shoved his tail into his pants.

"Liar! I saw it!"

"You didn't see anything."

Zoro was out the door before Luffy could jump him. Luffy quickly picked out the food from his teeth with his tongue and hurried after him.

"Show me," he demanded once he had sat back at the table with the others.

"That's my line," Nami snapped. Luffy opened his mouth wide and she checked it. "You're good."

"Show me, Zoro," Luffy insisted, turning back to him. Zoro shifted, eyes darting to the clock on the wall and praying lunch would end soon. He did have Luffy in his next class, but perhaps Luffy would be deterred by their teacher's presence.

"Show him what?" Usopp said curiously. "Do it!"

"Show him," Sanji insisted, joining in the fun.

Zoro grit his teeth. "It's nothing. He thought he saw something, but he didn't."

"What'd you see?" Chopper asked Luffy.

"Zoro's got a tail," Luffy announced.

The others looked between him and Zoro.

"You do?" Usopp said at last.

"Of course not! He's making shit up!"

"He doesn't do that, that's Usopp's job," Nami pointed out. Ignoring Usopp's hurt protests, she continued, "Luffy doesn't lie, so he either saw something that looked like a tail, or you really do have a tail for some weird reason."

"He didn't see anything," Zoro said again, well aware it was a weak defense.

"Oh, I get it," Sanji said in sudden understanding. "I know what's going on."

Zoro tensed and looked to him with the others.

"Look," Sanji said. "We all have hobbies. It's nothing to be ashamed of."

Zoro's mouth fell open as the others nodded in understanding.

"So that's it," Nami said with a grin. "Okay. Never would've thought you were the type, Zoro."

"Type to what?" Luffy said.

"He's the kind of person who likes to wear animal stuff like tails and ears," Usopp explained.

"Oh, is that it?" Luffy said, grinning. "Okay! But why'd you try to hide it, Zoro?"

"Sometimes people make fun of people like that," Nami said.

"You like to do that kind of stuff, Zoro?" Chopper said curiously.

Zoro started slowly hitting his head on the table.

"That's a neat hobby," Luffy said. "Why would I make fun of Zoro for that?"

"Also, when did you put on a tail?" Sanji said curiously, watching Zoro bang his head on the table. "I didn't see you bring one into the bathroom. Have you had it on all day?"

"Yeah, why would you do that?" Usopp asked. "That part seems weird, wearing a fake tail only to hide it in your pants all day. Is there something else going on?"

"I'm a werewolf."

A pause. Zoro lifted his head, a red mark on his forehead from where he'd injured himself.

"What?" Nami said at last.

"I'm a werewolf. The tail's real."

Luffy let out a shout of delight. It took some convincing, but the others eventually believed him, too.

"Why did you tell us?!" Usopp exclaimed, scooting away. "We all thought you were wearing a fake tail—"

"Because I'd rather you all know than think I'm the kind of person who secretly wears animal stuff in public!" Zoro exclaimed, rubbing his temples. "Out in the open's one thing, but under the clothes is—"

"That raises a good question, actually," Sanji said thoughtfully.

"What's that?" Luffy asked.

"Are werewolves furries by default?"


	122. Modern-Day: Irresponsible Responsibility

**Non-humans: Vampire Sanji (mentioned), Vampire Franky **

**Modern AU **

* * *

The car was driven directly into the auto shop, and the driver and her son climbed out.

"Morning, Ms. Banchina," the mechanic said, coming out with a greasy towel over his shoulder. He yawned. "Right on time. How's your day been?"

"Good morning, Franky," Banchina said with a polite smile. "It's been well, thank you."

"Hey, Usopp," Franky said with a grin. Usopp gave him an oddly nervous smile as he stuck close to his mother.

"So, you said the coolant is the problem?" Franky added, looking to the car. He scratched his head and yawned again. "Need a replacement?"

"Just a repair," Banchina said, shaking her head. "That trip might've been too much for this old thing . . ."

"Might cost you less to just get a new one," Franky remarked, as usual, but he got to work anyway, opening the hood. "This isn't too bad, shouldn't take more than an hour."

"Thank you," Banchina said warmly. "I think I'll get some shopping done while you're doing that. Usopp, do you want to stay here or come along?"

Usopp, normally one to eagerly voice his desire to stay and chat with Franky, hesitated this time, looking between the two.

"I guess . . . I'll hang out here," he said at last.

"Be back soon. Don't make trouble." Banchina kissed his cheek and left the two alone.

Franky gave Usopp a friendly grin, but Usopp eyed his teeth nervously as he got seated.

"Something wrong?" Franky asked at last, going to the bench and grabbing a flask. He unscrewed the top and took a swig of whatever was inside.

Usopp gulped. "Wh—What's in that?"

Franky frowned, screwing the top back on. "Just some booze."

At this, Usopp traded his fidgeting for frowning. "You're drinking on the job?"

"Well, sure, but don't make it sound like that," Franky said, setting the flask down again and going back to the engine with tools. "Like I'm being irresponsible."

"Drinking on the job _is_ irresponsible!"

"No, listen," Franky said, holding up a finger. "See, there's a difference—stuff like this, you gotta be irresponsible _responsibly_."

"That doesn't make sense!"

"You'll understand when you're older."

Usopp rolled his eyes. "I thought you couldn't drink alcohol, anyway."

Franky frowned again, looking up. "What? Why?"

Usopp's eyes widened and he looked away. "No reason!"

"Seriously, is something wrong? You don't even have a story today."

Usopp fidgeted on the stool where he sat.

"I thought . . ." He took a deep breath. "I thought vampires couldn't have anything but blood."

The wrench slipped out of Franky's hand and into the car. He straightened up like a shot, looking at Usopp in disbelief.

"I—vampire?" he exclaimed. "Shit, how'd you know?"

"My friend Sanji's one, too," Usopp explained, "and he said he met you because Mrs. Nico asked him to help you out."

"Mrs. Nico?" Franky repeated. "Oh, right. So you're friends with that kid. I see."

"Speaking of which, you didn't tell me you two were married!" Usopp added almost indignantly. "She always wears a ring, but you—? And in all the times I've mentioned her—"

"What do you think this is?" Franky said, tugging on the short chain around his neck, from which his ring hung. "And it just wasn't ever relevant enough to bring up."

"You didn't think me mentioning your _wife_ was enough to tell me you were married?!"

"Well, I didn't want you getting the wrong idea!"

"What sort of wrong idea could I get?! You two are married, so you're in love and stuff!"

"That's exactly what I'm talking about!"

"What?!"

Franky pinched the bridge of his nose. "Look, it's a convenience marriage! We're friends! That's it!"

Usopp stared at him. "_Oh_. Sorry. My bad."

"Glad we got that cleared up." Franky bent over and grabbed the wrench he'd dropped at last.

Usopp glanced at the flask. "So . . . um . . . I guess there isn't _really_ alcohol in there . . . ?"

"What?" Franky yawned. "No, it actually is. You thought it was—? How would I even—?"

"I dunno."

"Alcohol's the only other thing that tastes good," Franky explained, "for some reason. I mixed up a few different kinds so it tastes a little like cola."

Usopp grinned.

"But hey, don't you dare tell your friend Sanji about that," Franky said sternly. "I don't need underage drinking on my conscience."

"Sanji wouldn't—" Usopp hesitated. "Well, maybe he would. I won't say anything."

"How does that kid handle school?" Franky asked curiously as he worked. "I mean, I'm well-off enough so that I can take a day off once in awhile to sleep—" Here he yawned again— "Would've taken today off if I didn't have this appointment—but he's gotta go to school every day."

"He falls asleep a lot," Usopp explained.

"Hm. Hope his parents let him take a day off sometimes."

Usopp shrugged.

"Well, enough about that, how're you doing?" Franky asked with a grin. "Tell me about your road trip. Run into anything supernatural?"

"Oh, it was great!" Usopp exclaimed, throwing his arms in the air. "Our adventure started with us being chased by a banshee . . ."

* * *

**Franky also knows Luffy and Chopper, but due to their car breaking down more often, he sees Usopp and his mom more often (Luffy's family doesn't have a car, so he only sees Franky when tagging along with Usopp). **


	123. Modern-Day: Unusual Trio

**Alternate chapter title, since it wouldn't fit: "Werewolves Don't Teach Music Theory" **

**kdh1997 requested Vampire Sanji with WW Brook and Luffy! The details are self-explanatory.**

**Non-humans: Vampire Sanji, WW Luffy, WW Brook **

**Modern AU **

* * *

"_The pentatonic scale!" _

The _whap_ of the ruler against the desk snapped many students out of their daydreams, and some frantically put their books away. It wasn't that their professor wasn't interesting, but sometimes . . . once in awhile . . . fiction was a bit more enthralling than music theory.

"Ah, so good to see we're all awake," the professor said warmly. About half the class had showed up today, which was more than he had expected; attendance wasn't required, after all. "As I was saying—can you all hear me? Hello?—the _pentatonic _scale is one of _if not the _most used scales in the world of music. It is comprised of the following notes—" Here he seized his violin from the table and drew the bow across the strings. "_Do, re, mi, sol, la,_ and _do_ again if you wish!"

He now glanced to the center of the room, where two young men sat. "Mr. Ace, Mr. Sabo, did you have a question?"

Sabo had been nudging Ace and pointing something out, letting him copy his notes, and they now looked hastily to the front of the lecture hall.

"No, sir," they said together. Sabo nudged Ace again, who elbowed him back.

"Very well. Moving on—!" the professor looked to the clock. "Oh, dear, we shouldn't have gone off on so many tangents earlier, they will be the death of us all! We will pick this up tomorrow. You're dismissed. Go play outside, or whatever it is you do these days."

The class was gone within the minute. When the room fell silent, the professor, straightening papers at his desk, looked up to see Ace lingering by the door while Sabo approached the desk.

"Mr. Sabo, you'll miss the eclipse," the professor said. "What is it?"

"I don't think I will," Sabo said with a shrug. "It's pretty cloudy today, Mr. Brook."

Brook chuckled. "Is it still? What a shame. Can I help you?"

"Hurry up," Ace called from the door.

"Just because of that, I won't," Sabo called. "Uh, sir, I wanted to ask about studying—is looking over our notes efficient for what we talked about today, or should we try to find a piano or something we can, um, pick out notes on?"

Brook adjusted his slipping sunglasses, the ones he always wore like a jazz musician. "Fantastic question, Mr. Sabo. The music department has some fine pianos I'm sure they would be willing to let you use—in fact, I'm sure I could book a room for students in the future. But it's really up to—"

He frowned and rubbed his head as if in the throes of an oncoming migraine. "Er, it's up to you what—"

Out of nowhere, he doubled over and cried out in pain.

"Wh—are you okay?!" Sabo exclaimed. Ace hurried down the steps to see the problem.

Brook fell to the floor, curled up and shaking.

"If he's joking, I'll kill him," Ace exclaimed. He knelt and took off Brook's sunglasses so they wouldn't poke him. "Shit, is he having a seizure?!"

"What's the emergency number again?" Sabo said, reaching for the phone, but then Brook stopped shaking.

"Hold on," Ace said, kneeling. "Sir? Can you hear me?"

Brook got himself up, crouched on his legs, and he opened his eyes and looked around. He focused on Ace and snarled like an animal, lunging, and Ace backed away just in time.

"What th—" Ace held out his backpack as a shield as Brook growled again, baring teeth, and lunged.

"His eyes—Ace, he's got yellow eyes," Sabo exclaimed.

"Shit, he's a werewolf?!" Ace exclaimed, fending Brook off with his backpack. "Why's he like this _now?!" _

"That explains why he cancelled class at those times," Sabo said thoughtfully as Brook gave up on Ace and turned for him.

"Sabo, _pay attention!" _

Sabo looked over and yelled, throwing out a kick to shove Brook aside. Brook fell to the floor again and picked himself up, shaking his head.

"Are we going to get in trouble for hurting him?!" Sabo yelled.

"Who the hell cares about that, he's trying to eat us! But why now?! It's the new moon!"

"Maybe it's—"

* * *

"So it must be the eclipse?"

"What?" Sanji said, still keeping his gaze on Luffy to prevent him from tearing Robin apart.

"He's a werewolf, isn't he?" Robin said. "I didn't want to bring it up unless necessary, but . . . I did notice his new eye color. And the way he's acting right now . . . must be because of the eclipse."

"That . . . does explain . . . it," Sanji agreed. "How'd you know for sure . . . ?"

"Absent on the full moon, yellow eyes . . . _this_ . . . oh, and one of my housemates is a werewolf. But why isn't he attacking you?"

"Oh," Sanji said awkwardly. "I'm . . . a vampire."

"Oh." Robin suddenly frowned. "Oh, dear, I hope _he's_ okay . . ."

"Your housemate?" Sanji grunted, trembling as Luffy growled again.

"Yes, he's a professor . . . I think his last class of the day just ended . . . I hope he isn't around anyone right now."

* * *

"So if it is the eclipse—"

"—And the lunar eclipse gave Luffy his human mind in a wolf body—"

"—Then this gives werewolves a wolf mind in a human body?"

Ace and Sabo leapt from chair to chair in a cartoonish chase, avoiding Brook's relentless animalistic pursuit.

Ace suddenly swore. "I hope Luffy's okay, he's supposed to be on the bus right now . . ."

"His friend Sanji should be with him," Sabo pointed out, hitting Brook with his backpack. "Sorry, sir—Sanji can probably stop him, right?"

"Sabo, how long does a solar eclipse last?"

"Well, lunar eclipses can last for up to three hours—"

"_I didn't ask about a lunar eclipse!" _

"Like, ten minutes at _most_, but usually about five or less!"

"Okay!"

Brook suddenly whined as if in pain and collapsed to the floor again. Ace and Sabo stared at him, glanced at each other, and went to check on him.

Their professor straightened up a moment later, rubbing his head and eyes and leaning on a chair for support.

"Goodness," he murmured, pressing fingers to his temple. He winced, the memory of the past few minutes coming back to him, and he looked at Ace and Sabo in horror.

"Are either of you hurt?" he demanded.

They shook their heads.

"Are you?" Sabo asked tentatively.

"No, no," Brook said, feeling his side. "That was perfectly justifiable in any case. I'm so sorry."

He went to his desk, getting his glasses again.

"How . . . long have you been a werewolf?" Ace asked.

Brook paused.

"I was bitten in May," he said, touching his arm. "Thank goodness my housemates weren't hurt at that time." He looked at Ace and Sabo again, gathered his things, and approached them, sitting at a desk (a bit awkwardly, due to his height). "What you were saying was . . . your little brother is a werewolf as well?"

"Yeah," Sabo admitted. "Just since this summer. We were on vacation . . ."

"I hope he's well," Brook remarked. "I trust you two won't spread this information?"

They shook their heads.

"Many thanks." Brook stood and stretched, rubbing his head. "I think I'll go home early . . . I need to rest. Have a good day."

He hurried out of the room.

"Wanna skip last class and go home, too?" Ace asked hopefully.

"You always skip your gym class," Sabo pointed out. "_I_, however, do not want to miss history."

"History's not going anywhere," Ace said as they started out the door.

"Today's lesson is if I don't go."

"Come on . . ."

* * *

Despite complaints and badgering, Ace stayed on campus until Sabo was ready to leave. When they finally got off the bus, they found Luffy at Usopp's house. Without a word, they hugged him, leaving him confused until they got home.

"Are you okay?" Sabo asked.

"Was anyone hurt?" Ace added.

Luffy stared at them. "How'd you know?"

"Um, turns out one of our professors is a werewolf," Sabo explained. "And we were with him after class—"

"No way!" Luffy exclaimed in delight. "Did you have to fight off a _teacher?" _

"Yeah," Ace said. "It was an epic battle—"

"We threw things and jumped on chairs," Sabo corrected.

Luffy laughed. "Well, anyway, I was with Mrs. Nico and Sanji, and then the eclipse happened but Sanji kept me back, and we had to tell Mrs. Nico about us."

"Oh," Sabo said after a moment.

"And Mrs. Nico said one of her friends is a werewolf and a teacher, too," Luffy added thoughtfully. "Was it your teacher?"

Ace and Sabo looked at each other.

"Could be," Ace said with a shrug as they went into the kitchen. "He did mention having roommates."

Luffy grinned. "That would be cool!"

* * *

"Brook?"

Brook woke from his nap and sat up, looking around, to find Robin poking her head through the door.

"How are you feeling?" she asked, opening the door wider. Franky came up behind her, casually eavesdropping.

"I'm not sick, Ms. Robin," Brook said, tilting his head. "Though I appreciate the concern . . ."

"I meant the eclipse."

Brook stiffened. Robin frowned. "Was anyone hurt?"

"What?" Franky muttered behind her.

"No," Brook said at last, rubbing his eyes. "But two students almost . . . they'd stayed behind for questions, and . . ."

"So they know now?" Robin said sympathetically, coming in to sit next to him.

"Oh, yes." Brook grimaced. "Luckily they took it well—" He rubbed his side— "As it turns out, their little brother is a werewolf as well."

"What's going on?" Franky asked from the hall.

"But how did you know?" Brook asked.

Robin shrugged. "I don't think I mentioned it, but . . . one of my students is a werewolf, too."

"Pardon?!"

"It wasn't important, so I didn't bring it up . . . but this year, he suddenly had yellow eyes and was mysteriously absent on the full moon." Robin shrugged. "I'd asked him and a friend to stay behind for something, and then . . . he transformed."

"_You _aren't hurt, are you?" Brook exclaimed as Franky frowned and muttered, "What the hell is going on?"

"No, no—did you know vampires exist as well?"

"What?! I—I don't doubt it, since I'm like this—but what does that have to do with this?!"

"His friend turned out to be a vampire," Robin explained, "which meant Luffy didn't try to attack him, and he was able to hold him back with . . . vampire abilities."

"What?!" Franky exclaimed as Brook said, "Did you say Luffy?"

"Yes?"

"He's the werewolf?"

"Yes."

"Ah." Brook scratched his head, his hair bouncing as he did so. "Then . . . the two who I tried to attack were his . . ."

"His brothers," Robin finished in surprise. Franky walked away, throwing his arms up in exasperation.

Brook chuckled. "What an odd coincidence . . . and how fortunate no one was hurt."

He rubbed his side as he said this. Robin stared at him pensively.

"Yes?" he said, noticing.

"Do you only hunger for human flesh when transformed?"

"Don't phrase it like that, for _goodness' _sake!" Brook shrieked with a terrific shudder. "It's bad enough that I have to feel like that at those times, Ms. Robin—"

"Well, to put it a softer way . . . when transformed, would you attack something living which isn't human? An animal, or . . ."

Brook removed his sunglasses, wiping the lenses on his shirt as he thought.

"I . . . don't believe so," he said at last. "That is, perhaps an animal if I were . . . particularly hungry . . . but should it come down to a human or something which isn't a human, the human would always be the first target."

Robin nodded. "I see. I'll have to talk to my students, but since Sanji knew Luffy wouldn't attack him—Sanji is the other one—I have to wonder if they've spent any full moons together."

"How lucky," Brook remarked, putting his glasses back on. "Full moons are so lonely . . ."

Robin smiled. "We know, if your howling is anything to go by. We keep getting calls from the neighbors."

Brook ducked his head, embarrassed. "I can't help it!"

"Going back to what I was saying . . ." Robin rested her head in a hand. "How do you feel about babysitting?"

* * *

"Are you all comfortable back there?"

Zeff glanced in the backseat, where Ace and Sabo squashed a feverish Luffy between them. Several awkward conversations, converging into a final meeting between Robin, Brook, Luffy, Ace, Sabo, Zeff, and Sanji, had led to this odd arrangement.

"Sure," Ace said. "Lu, you okay?"

"Mm," Luffy mumbled, eyes shut tight.

Zeff grunted and glanced at Sanji, who was fast asleep in the front. The sun hadn't quite set yet. "You all should memorize this route, y'hear? I might not be able to drive you all the time."

"Yes, sir," Sabo said. "Thank you again, this is very nice."

"Aye, well, if the boy's involved, so am I." Zeff slowed the car when they reached the right street. "Help me look for the house number."

He soon pulled up next to the place, parked, and hit Sanji in the shoulder.

"_Ow_, what the fuck," Sanji hissed when he opened his eyes only to have the sun shine straight into them.

"Watch your language, shithead," Zeff snapped. He and Sanji got out and helped the three out of the backseat, Ace and Sabo helping Luffy walk to the door with them.

Franky opened the door and eyed everyone. "C'mon in," he muttered. "Robin decided to tell me the plan only _today_, so that's cool."

Everyone entered, Sanji yawning and Luffy shivering, and sat on the couch.

"How you doing, kiddo?" Franky asked to Luffy.

"Hi, Franky," Luffy said in sleepy surprise, squinting at him. "D'you live here?"

"Yeah, I'll explain when you're feeling better. Anyway, Brook's resting right now, Robin says we're gonna bring him out here with you two—" He gestured to Sanji and Luffy— "and then, y'know, whatever."

Zeff gave him a look.

"What?" Franky said. "I don't know what your kid does."

"I'm almost eighteen," Sanji muttered, yawning.

"I didn't ask."

Zeff handed Franky some cash. "This is for them, too," he added, jerking a thumb to Ace and Sabo. "Thanks for this."

"Should be thanking Robin, but alright," Franky said, shrugging as he put the money away in a drawer.

"Evening," Robin said, entering with Brook, who wore a bathrobe over his shivering frame.

"Good evening . . . Misters Ace, Sabo, Franky, Zeff, Luffy," Brook murmured. With his fever, it was a wonder he'd said it all in one breath.

"Hi, sir," Sabo said.

"I do appreciate this," Brook murmured, sitting on the edge of the table. "To come all this way for me . . ."

"The more company, the better," Sanji said. "Especially with Luffy."

Luffy grinned weakly.

"I guess we'll get going," Ace said. He and Sabo smothered Luffy with simultaneous hugs before releasing him. "Mrs. Nico, you're taking them to school, right?"

"That I am," Robin said.

"Thanks so much," Sabo said with a smile.

"It's no trouble," Robin said, shaking her head. "It's the least I can do, aside from hosting them in my house."

"Our house," Franky said under his breath.

"You have your sunscreen?" Zeff asked Sanji.

"For the tenth time, yes," Sanji snapped.

Zeff slapped him on the back and stood. "See you tomorrow, eggplant. Thank you," he added to the others.

He, Ace, and Sabo left at last.

"You will be safe, Sanji?" Robin asked.

Sanji smiled. "Yeah, I'm sure it'll be fine. Luffy's never tried to attack me, and even if something went wrong, I have cool vampire powers."

"Ah, yes, those. Speaking of being a vampire, you thirst for human blood, don't you? Do you need to feed tonight?"

"Ms. Robin," Brook exclaimed, looking up. "Language!"

Sanji raised an eyebrow at him. "Um," he said, looking back to Robin and rubbing the back of his neck. "Kind of . . . but I couldn't bite you . . ."

"Why not?"

"You're a teacher. It'd be weird."

Robin smiled. "I suppose you can't take any from Luffy or Brook, either."

"D-Don't offer me as a—_sacrifice_," Brook exclaimed before another violent shiver wracked his body.

Sanji gave him another look. "No, I can't."

"What about Franky?" Robin suggested. "He's fine with it. Right, Franky?"

"Well, I guess so," Franky snapped. "Since you're not giving me much of a _choice_ here—"

Sanji eyed Franky. "Yeah, okay," he said at last. "Just really quick."

Franky stuck out his arm, watching with great apprehension as Sanji bit down on his wrist. "This isn't gonna do anything weird to me, is it?" he asked, wincing.

Sanji, his mouth full of blood, couldn't respond. Brook covered his eyes, and Luffy and Robin watched in interest.

Sanji at last released him with a sigh of satisfaction. "Those should close," he said, gesturing to the cuts, which had already begun to seal. "And no, you're fine, just rest."

"The sun's . . . about to go down," Brook murmured, peeking out from behind his hands.

Robin led him into the bathroom, and Franky went to his room for an early bedtime. When Robin bade them goodnight and shut her door behind her, Luffy began stripping; Sanji gathered his clothes, facing away from him as he put them on the table.

A few minutes passed before Luffy cried out as he began to transform, and Sanji's ears picked up Brook's own groan of pain from the bathroom. When Sanji felt a nudge, he looked down to see Luffy looking at him with a wagging tail smacking the table.

"Hey," he said, petting Luffy's ears. "I bet you're wondering where we are, huh?"

Luffy gave him a nod and a small growl.

"Yeah, there were humans here, you just missed them." Sanji ignored Luffy's whine of disappointment and continued, "We're here to meet a new friend. Let me go get him."

Luffy's ears perked up with interest. Sanji stood and went to the bathroom, cautiously opening the door.

He had to stifle his laughter, for Brook as a wolf resembled a very large poodle. Brook began growling at the sight of Sanji, but soon stopped and came forward, sniffing him.

"Hey," Sanji said, getting on one knee. "My name's Sanji. Can I call you . . . Brook?"

Brook hesitated before nodding. Sanji was sure he wouldn't mind being addressed so informally like this.

"Okay. Come out, there's someone you need to meet."

Brook followed Sanji to the living room. When he and Luffy spotted each other, they froze, and Brook's tail went between his legs while Luffy's began wagging, and he bounded forward, sniffing Brook in excitement. Despite his initial worry, Brook quickly warmed up to Luffy.

Sanji cleared his throat, and both looked at him.

"Luffy, Brook; Brook, Luffy," he said. "And Brook, you should know I'm a vampire."

Brook's tail went between his legs and he backed away. Luffy looked at him curiously.

"Hey, I only go for humans," Sanji said in irritation. "You've got nothing to be scared of."

Brook stayed a distance away, but his tail came untucked.

"It's too small to play fetch in here," Sanji said, settling himself on the couch, "but I guess you guys can get to know each other, and Brook, I can show you some vampire powers."

Brook's tail went between his legs again.

"It's nothing _bad!" _

* * *

When the faintest light began to show on the horizon, Sanji quickly escorted Brook back to the bathroom and went back to the living room to apply sunscreen while keeping an eye on Luffy. He turned away when Luffy fell to the floor, and looked back only when he felt a tap on his leg.

"Hi," Luffy said sleepily, rubbing his head and yawning. "That was fun. Where's Mr. Brook?"

The bathroom door opened and Brook emerged, wearing his bathrobe again.

"Thank you, Mr. Sanji, Mr. Luffy," he said graciously, bowing. "It was lovely to meet you two."

"Yeah," Sanji said sleepily. Luffy grinned, and Brook went to his bedroom for a much-needed sleep.

Robin came out soon to find Luffy and Sanji fast asleep on the couch, and shook them both awake for school.

* * *

**So how many of you actually want a Valentine's Day chapter this year like last year's? Last year had plenty of requests but not many different requesters, so if not many people care this year, I may just forgo it. Either way, this story might take a January hiatus. **


	124. Modern-Day: Werewolf Franky

**No Valentine's Day chapter this year, then. **

**ForeverAWSOMEAuraSpaceDragon requested WW Franky in the AU! **

**Non-humans: WW Franky **

**Modern AU **

* * *

"I gotta tell you guys, I had the _worst_ day," Franky exclaimed at dinner that night.

"Do tell," Robin said, not even looking up from her food.

"So this weird pale guy and his crony come in, right?" Franky said. "They've got a busted motorcycle they need fixed, and that's not a big problem, it wasn't anything difficult—"

"Did they run without paying?" Brook asked.

"Yeah, but lemme _get _to that—the pale guy's hanging around like a creep and talking with his crony, some weirdo with frosted hair or whatever it's called, and the punks keep giving me weird looks, and I'm just getting totally bad vibes from them. So then—"

"Brook, would you like more milk?" Robin asked.

"Please," Brook said politely. Robin stood and went to the fridge.

"Stop ignoring me!" Franky exclaimed indignantly. "So _then_, I finish with the motorcycle, and the guy with the stupid hair comes forward and picks a fight, and I'm used to this, right, so I'm keeping an eye on the pale guy to make sure he doesn't run off—"

Robin put away the milk after pouring Brook another glass and she sat back down.

"—And then he bit me," Franky said.

Now Robin and Brook looked at him properly.

"Yeah," Franky said, showing them his hand and the scabbed marks. "Got me while I was gesturing, drew some blood—I'm about to tell off this asshole, but then everything goes dark, and the next thing I know, I wake up, puke in a bucket, and not only did they leave _without_ paying, but they stole some cash from the drawer."

"How much was it?" Robin asked, suddenly concerned.

Franky told her.

"Oh, good," she said with relief. "That's not a big problem."

"Do either of you care about me?!" Franky exclaimed.

"Of course we do," Brook reassured him. "Only . . . a small bite doesn't seem like a lot to worry about."

Franky slouched in his chair. "I also passed out and vomited," he muttered. "Wasn't even drinking or anything."

"That _is_ odd," Robin agreed. "But if you feel fine now, just watch yourself for a few days. If nothing happens . . . well, that's that."

"Yeah, okay."

"Did you call the police?" Brook asked.

Franky shook his head. "I figured they were halfway across town by then, so . . ."

He stared out the window moodily.

Robin smiled. "You know, I happened to be at the store today, and I rented a DVD . . ."

Franky raised an eyebrow. "Yeah?"

Robin left the room and poked her head back in, holding up the VHSes of _Cinderella _and _Make Mine Music _with the rented _Treasure Planet_. "Feel like a movie night, you two?"

* * *

The three of them ate popcorn while watching _Cinderella_, and cheered during _Treasure Planet_, going to bed after Brook had finished crying at the end of _Make Mine Music_.

The next couple of days and then weeks passed normally like this. No further incidents occurred at Franky's shop and he felt well as usual, and Robin and Brook carried on teaching until summer break came for Robin (though she still had to attend the occasional meeting) and Brook taught far fewer classes than usual.

And then, one day in June, Franky woke up ill.

"How do you feel?" Robin asked, setting a glass of water and a few crackers on the side table. Brook had left early for work.

"Not super," Franky mumbled. She felt his forehead and frowned.

"You're burning up," she said. "Do you want the window open?"

Franky shook his head.

"Get some sleep. I'll come back later."

He'd already shut his eyes, slipping into a dream. Robin stood and left.

* * *

"Good evening, Mr. Franky . . ."

Franky blearily opened his eyes to see Brook coming in.

"Ms. Robin called earlier," he said, setting his things by his bed. "Are you any better?"

"Nah," Franky mumbled. "Worse, if anything."

"Shall I pick up medicine if you're not better tomorrow?"

"Super, thanks," Franky murmured before he fell back asleep, shivering.

* * *

That evening, after sunset, Robin and Brook were in the living room, Robin in a slip and Brook in a bathrobe; Robin was finishing papers for an upcoming staff meeting, and Brook was scribbling out notes on a piece of music he'd finished recently.

In the bedroom, Franky sat up, shaking, and threw the covers off him as his skin prickled with pins and needles. A bead of sweat rolled down his face.

Robin and Brook looked up when they heard a cry of pain and a curse coming from the bedroom. After a moment, they looked back down at their respective papers.

"Oh, Ms. Robin, I'm planning to visit Mr. Crocus and Laboon in July," Brook said without looking up.

"Good for you," Robin said. She signed the last paper. "Once Franky's better, we can talk about dates."

"Excellent. Speaking of which—" Brook stood. "Excuse me for a moment."

He went to the bedroom, opened the door, and slammed it shut again with a scream.

"What now?" Robin asked, straightening her papers as Brook ran back, mouth open in terror.

"There's a wolf!" he exclaimed.

Robin frowned at him. "What?"

"A wolf, in the bedroom—it _growled _at me, Ms. Robin, scared me out of my skin—"

"Don't be scared of a wolf," Robin admonished, standing. "But . . . were you seeing things? I've been here all day. I don't think a wolf could've gotten in."

Brook shook his head. "It was no vision, Ms. Robin—and come to think of it, that wolf was oddly-colored as well—_don't go in there!" _

Robin ignored him, opening the bedroom door and turning on the light. She and Brook came face-to-face with an enormous _blue _wolf, and Robin met its eyes just before it snarled aggressively and leapt forward. Brook screamed, and Robin pushed him back just before the wolf bowled into her, throwing her so her head snapped back and cracked against the wall. She went limp, sinking against the wall as the wolf lunged again—

But Brook came to her rescue, seizing a lamp and striking the wolf on the side. The wolf whimpered and now turned to Brook with a snarl; Brook frantically kicked out in panicked defense and the wolf whined.

"Get away from her!" Brook exclaimed, balling his fists as he trembled. He seized the lamp again and shoved the wolf away with it, seizing Robin's arm and pulling her up, holding her and checking her over as the wolf snarled in frustration and ducked under the lamp, going for them again.

"Ms. Robin?" Brook exclaimed as he kicked again; he hated hurting anyone, but of course defense was an exception.

Robin stirred and opened her eyes.

"Ow," she hissed, reaching a hand up for her head. She looked around and found the wolf going for them. "Franky—"

"That's right, Mr. Franky," Brook exclaimed. "Let's get to the bedroom and meet him—"

"No, Brook, the wolf is—"

"I know, Ms. Robin, but we'll get around it somehow!"

With this, Brook jumped on the coffee table, holding her like a princess, and leapt over the wolf as it lunged, his hair cushioning his head from the ceiling. He ran for the bedroom, got in, and slammed the door shut, leaning against it.

Robin removed herself from his arms, rubbing her head.

"Let me see," Brook said after a moment. She sat on the edge of Franky's bed and faced away from him; he parted her hair and felt around her scalp.

"There's a bump," he said when she hissed in pain. "It's not bleeding . . . you should stay up in case of concussion."

She turned back around and he checked her pupils.

"Oh, and _where_ is Mr. Franky at a time like this?" he said indignantly once he'd finished looking her over. "For goodness's sake—do you think he locked himself in the bathroom?" He shuddered. "I hate to think what would happen if he'd been attacked by—"

"I was trying to tell you," Robin murmured, keeping her voice down for the sake of her headache. "Franky _was_ the wolf."

Brook stared at her, eyes wide. They heard a frustrated growl from outside the door.

"Ms. Robin, really," he said reproachfully.

"I know what I saw in those eyes," Robin said, wincing. "Tonight is the full moon, Brook."

Brook wove his fingers together tightly. "I . . ."

"He's a werewolf." She paused. "Maybe . . . that unruly customer who bit him a few weeks ago . . . do you remember?"

Brook nodded. "But . . . to think Mr. Franky is—something like _that_—"

"He's still our friend," Robin murmured, touching the bump on her head as a whine came from the hall. "I imagine he'll . . . transform back come morning."

Brook nodded.

"Don't cry, now," Robin said with a small smile. "It'll be fine."

Brook swallowed the lump in his throat. "Would you like to stay here tonight?"

"I can't really go anywhere else."

* * *

Brook paced about the room while Robin sat patiently at the edge of Franky's bed. The sun hadn't yet risen, but both had woken from habit and worry.

They sat, fidgeted, and paced about for some time. When the dawn came, they heard a whine from the hall and glanced at each other, going to the door to listen.

Some mumbled words met their ears, and then a gasp, and then words from a sailor's mouth. The wall was hit several times, a door was opened, and they leaned away as the door was pounded upon.

"Open up!" they heard Franky exclaim. "Open up, for the love of—"

Robin opened the door and they found Franky standing in the hall, wearing a towel around his waist and a horrified expression on his face. He lowered his hand and looked between them.

"Are you okay?" he asked Robin tentatively. "Your head—last night, that didn't sound super at all—"

"I'm fine," Robin said. A relieved smile came to her face. "Are you?"

Franky's yellow eyes welled up quickly as he started to sob.

"Mr. Franky, you look exhausted," Brook said, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Why don't you rest, and—"

"I attacked you!" he yelled through his sobs. "I tried to kill you both, but you—you're both—" He grabbed them in a hug, one in each arm as his shoulders shook. "I love you guys!"

The towel fell to the floor. Robin glanced down his backside.

"You kept the tail," she remarked.

"Huh?" Franky said. "Oh, yeah . . ."

"How are you feeling?" Brook asked, stepping away after awkwardly patting Franky on the back. "You were quite ill yesterday . . ."

"Just tired now," Franky said, rubbing his eyes. "And I'm not crying, so shut the hell up."

"Get some sleep," Robin said. "And _please_ put on _something_ down there before you come out."

"Yeah, okay," Franky mumbled.

Robin left to start the coffeepot. Before Brook could follow her, Franky said, "Hey."

"Mr. Franky?"

"Thanks for—looking out for her."

"Well, I would have done the same for you, you know," Brook said gently. "These bones may be frail, but they can still keep friends out of danger."

"You're old, but you're a long way from frail yet." Ignoring Brook's indignant sputter, Franky went to his bed and collapsed into it, tail twitching. "See you later, bro."

* * *

"Did you know your eyes are yellow now?"

"Makes sense, 'cause so's everything else." Franky rubbed his eyes. "Damn . . . colorblindness, or whatever. Is this how dogs see the world?"

He tore another bite out of his sandwich; his sheepish request for meat had been met and it was accompanied by little else between the bread slices.

"There is good news to this," Robin continued. "Now you'll have to start wearing pants to work, if you want to hide that tail."

Franky scowled. "Aw, rats—that's not _good_ news, and you know it!"

"It is for everyone else's eyes."

"I'm hurt! I'm really hurt!"

Brook eyed Franky. "Pardon my language, but I hope you don't see us as food, Mr. Franky."

Franky scowled. "Come on, bro, just 'cause I can smell you now doesn't make you food."

Brook stood and went to the other side of the room.

"It's not in a bad way!"

"You can smell us?" Robin repeated.

"I . . . yeah." Franky glanced at his plate. "You smell kinda like . . . flowers and books . . ."

Robin smiled in delight. "Do I? How lovely!"

"What about me?" Brook asked, curiosity getting the better of him.

"Tea and old age," Franky said. "Don't glare at me, I was kidding. Tea and rosin."

Brook came back to the table. "That's alright, then."

"What do you smell like?" Robin asked.

"How should I know?"

Robin reached a hand out and started scratching Franky behind his ear. He closed his eyes and leaned into it.

"He's . . . a little like a puppy," Brook murmured. "Speaking of which, the living room earlier was . . ."

"Quite the mess," Robin agreed, smiling. "Like an untrained dog . . ."

"I can hear you," Franky mumbled, eyes still closed and tail wagging lazily.


	125. Modern-Day: Vampire Brook

**ForeverAWSOMEAuraSpaceDragon requested Vampire Brook! **

**Non-humans: Vampire Brook **

**Modern AU **

* * *

"_Idiot!" _

Brook straightened up and stared at the person who had shouted. "I beg your pardon?" he said, miffed.

The person looked at him properly and their eyes widened. "Oh, sorry, Professor—it's just, I was practicing magic, and you stopped right in the middle of the circle—"

"When your shoelace needs tying . . ." Brook said with a shrug. He had seen the person reading from a book and muttering, but he hadn't seen the circle until he had knelt to fix his shoe, and then he hadn't bothered to move when the chalk had begun to glow, instead looking at it in fascination and trying to find the wires.

The student studied their book and sighed. "Geez, I got one of the words mixed up, anyway. It's not a big deal."

"Apologies for interrupting. Carry on," Brook said, stepping out of the circle with a wave to continue on his way to the bus stop.

As he walked, he thought the sun began to feel a bit warmer than usual, but wrote this up to the recent change in season.

"Magic, hm?" he murmured. "Is that what they call technology these days?"

After all, he wasn't entirely sure chalk could glow like that on its own.

* * *

The sunlight nearly burned Brook's skin as he made his way back to his house, but he was sure it was only the heat of summer, and he hid himself in shady areas on his way.

"Welcome back, bro," Franky said from the couch, pointing as Brook entered. "How were the brats?"

"Mr. Franky, some students aren't much younger than you," Brook said reproachfully. "Work went well, thank you."

"Anyone younger than me is a brat."

"Good to know," Robin said, poking her head through the kitchen doorway. As Franky sputtered, trying to save himself, she said, "Dinner's ready. Wash up, you two."

Brook hesitated as Franky went to the kitchen sink, avoiding Robin's gaze. "Ms. Robin . . . I'm afraid I'm not very hungry."

"Do you want to skip?"

"I think so," Brook admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. "My stomach feels a little strange tonight . . . I'm more thirsty than anything."

"Come sit with us, at least."

Brook went into the kitchen and poured himself a glass of milk as Robin sat at her place. When Franky sat and they started to eat, Brook had only just taken a sip when he spat it back into the glass.

"Goodness, it's expired!" he exclaimed in horror.

"Already?" Robin said in surprise. "You didn't leave it out, did you?"

"Certainly not—" Brook sniffed the glass. "How odd, it doesn't smell bad at all, but—"

He tried it again, only to spit it back into the glass.

"Here," Robin said, holding out her hand. Brook passed her the glass and she took a sip.

"It's fine," she announced. "Franky, what do you think?"

"I think I don't like milk," Franky said.

"Good point." Robin looked back to Brook. "Do you feel ill?"

Brook checked himself over. "I feel fine," he said. He looked at his milk sadly. "I suppose I'll just have water. Water can't possibly taste bad."

Robin took his milk for herself as he got a new glass for water. He finished this throughout the meal, but decided not to mention his yet-unquenched thirst.

* * *

Franky squinted as Brook paced around the room.

"Can't sleep?" he mumbled.

"Did I wake you?" Brook said, looking to him. "Pardon me—you're right, I'm a bit restless."

"So take a walk."

"I think I will," Brook said with a nod. "I'll be back shortly. Goodnight, Mr. Franky."

"Night," Franky mumbled, clutching the comforter to him as he shut his eyes again.

* * *

Brook sauntered down the sidewalk, humming to himself. Out of habit, he wore his sunglasses even in the dark of night, though he found he was able to see clearly even through them.

"Nice hair."

"Think he uses it to dust the ceiling? How tall do you reckon he is?"

Brook stopped and looked around for the source of the voices. There, across the street—two people sat on their deck chairs, watching him and muttering.

"I don't use my hair for any such thing, youngsters!" Brook called across the street.

They looked alarmed.

"How the hell did he hear us?" one of them whispered.

"You're not exactly keeping your voices down, are you?" Brook called in exasperation.

The other one squinted at him and murmured, "What the hell kind of ears do you have, dude? We're not yelling or anything."

"I can hear you loud and clear," Brook said, annoyed now, "and you'd do best not to speak of someone like that behind their back!"

"Sorry," the people said together sheepishly. Brook nodded and went on his way.

When he reached the lit plaza in town, he looked at his watch in alarm.

"Goodness, it's so late," he exclaimed. He licked his lips. "Perhaps a drink, and then I'll head back . . ."

He found the supermarket and purchased a bottle of water from a justifiably bad-tempered cashier, and though he was quick to finish it off on the bench outside, he found he was still thirsty.

He frowned, studying the bottle before throwing it into a trashcan with a sigh.

"I wonder if I am ill after all," he mused aloud. "If water isn't helping . . ."

He stood, vowing to head home to at least try to rest (as wide awake as he was). As he passed by a dim alley, he heard something and looked down it. A cat was crouched by some trash bags, cleaning its ears.

"Hello," Brook murmured, stepping into the alley and kneeling. The cat looked at him and ducked when Brook tried to scratch its ears.

"You must be very lucky, Mr. Cat," Brook said with a fond smile. "You don't have to worry about the state of this nation, or going to work . . ."

The cat let him pet its ears this time, and Brook began to wonder what it must be like to be in that lithe body, having such sharp ears and teeth, and eyes which could see in the dark—

And with hardly a sound, Brook was able to experience this as he suddenly found himself standing on four paws, pupils slit and body covered in curled black fur.

Brook shrieked in the cat's voice, and the cat he had been petting hissed and ran away. In a frantic moment, there was another painless transformation, and Brook was back to normal, crouched on all fours in the alleyway.

"I think . . ." he whispered to himself, slowly standing, "I should have eaten something earlier . . . after all . . ."

He hurried away, wondering if it was possible to consciously repress a memory.

* * *

Franky woke up to find Brook fast asleep in bed; the sun was barely showing over the horizon.

"Mornin'," he said, stretching and yawning.

Brook stirred and turned over. "Mr. Franky . . . ? Good morning . . ."

"When did you get back?"

"Sometime after midnight . . . but I only just got into bed." Brook yawned.

"Good thing you don't have work today, right?" Franky said. "You want breakfast now or later?"

"Later."

"Suit yourself. See you tonight."

Franky hopped out of bed, put a shirt on, and left. Brook settled back down and shut his eyes.

"Brook . . . ?"

The sun was higher in the sky now, and Brook woke again to see Robin standing in the doorway.

"Do you want anything to eat?" she asked.

"Common sense says yes . . . but my stomach says no," Brook murmured.

Robin came in and felt his forehead. "No fever . . ."

"I might eat later," Brook said, staring at her neck. "I did stay up a bit late last night. I think I'll rest for now."

"Eyes are up here," Robin said in amusement, and Brook blinked and turned his eyes to Robin's face. "There's food in the kitchen whenever you get hungry."

"Thank you," Brook murmured before closing his eyes again and falling asleep.

* * *

"He hasn't gotten out of bed all day?"

"Not that I've seen. He hasn't even touched the tea . . . it's gotten cold."

"Sheesh. Think we can afford a doctor?"

"Maybe we should wait on that."

Brook sat up, the voices having awoken him, and he found Franky and Robin sitting on Franky's bed. When they saw him sitting up, they gave him relieved smiles.

"Evening," Robin said. "How are you?"

"Evening?" Brook said in alarm, looking out the window.

"It's like, six," Franky said. "And Robin said you haven't gotten out of bed all day."

"I didn't think I was _that_ tired," Brook murmured. He spotted the cup of tea Robin had left by his bed and picked it up. "Ms. Robin, so sorry I didn't see this earlier . . ."

He took a sip, never mind the temperature, but he choked on the taste and had to force himself to swallow it.

"What kind of tea is this?" he exclaimed in alarm.

"It's just green tea," Robin said in concern.

"It tastes just like the milk did yesterday," Brook said.

Robin took the cup and sipped it. "It's fine," she said. "Cold, but otherwise good."

"I'm sorry," Brook said, bringing his legs around to sit properly. "I don't know what's happening . . ."

His eyes drifted to Franky's neck as he spoke.

"You haven't eaten since yesterday morning at least," Franky said. He reached out and flicked Brook's forehead, and Brook blinked, looking up. "Look, even if nothing sounds or tastes good, try to have some toast or something, yeah? You look pale as death."

Brook studied his arms, which indeed had the ashen quality of the ill.

"Sometimes things just taste bad because of stress," Robin said thoughtfully. "Is anything troubling you?"

Brook thought of the cat from last night, but shook his head, pushing away the memory.

"If you say so. Come on."

Brook stood and got on his bathrobe, following Robin and Franky out, his eyes trained on Robin's neck the whole time.

* * *

Despite the awful taste, Brook choked down two pieces of toast at dinner. His stomach now felt full, but the persistent thirst refused to leave him, and he had yet another glass of water.

"Wanna watch a movie tonight, bro?" Franky asked, slinging an arm around Brook's shoulders. "Don't you dare go back to sleep."

"Very well," Brook said with a smile.

Robin picked out the film (_Grease_) and they all settled down. Just before the movie started, their reflections showed in the black screen, and Franky gave Brook an odd look.

"What is it?" Brook asked.

"Nothing," Franky said after a moment, shaking his head. "Must've been seeing things."

Throughout the film, Franky complained that _his_ high school hadn't been like that, and Robin pointed out that it was supposed to be in the 1950s and that none of them had even been alive at that time. Brook provided backup while Franky and Robin sang Danny's and Sandy's parts respectively for _Summer Nights_, and the two pretended to sigh longingly at the end before bursting into laughter.

The movie went on, and at the final song, Brook faltered during his parts, feeling pains from his stomach. Voice fading, he stood and ran down the hall, making Franky and Robin stop their singing and stare after him. Franky paused the movie and they heard the distinctive sound of vomiting from the bathroom.

Brook got himself standing again and trudged out of the bathroom, not bothering to even look in the mirror, and he stood awkwardly in the hallway as Robin and Franky looked at him in worry.

"I think I'll . . . go back to bed," he said weakly. "Goodnight."

He turned and trudged back to the bedroom, removing his bathrobe and falling into bed.

* * *

It was some time after sunset that Brook lay awake in bed, listening to Franky's snoring. He licked his lips as he sat up, standing and putting on his bathrobe again before silently leaving the room. He paused and heard Robin breathing softly in her own room, something he had never heard from the hallway with the door closed before, and he shook his head and went to the living room.

He looked out the window, wondering if he should take another walk, but decided against it after what had happened last night. He decided instead to reread an old novel, taking the book from the shelf and sitting. He opened it up and settled himself down. Somehow, it didn't quite occur to him that he was able to read without straining his eyes in the dark.

* * *

Brook returned to bed shortly before sunrise, and Franky found him there when _he_ woke up. He shook Brook awake, asking if he was hungry, and Brook wearily responded no before going back to sleep. Franky gave him a worried look before heading out.

"Brook . . ."

Brook stirred and squinted at Robin. "Ms. Robin?"

"Franky told me you stayed up nearly all night the other night."

"Yes . . . ?"

"Have you been sleeping since last night?"

"No," he admitted, staring at the ceiling. "I stayed up until dawn."

"For goodness's sake, Brook, you're not nocturnal," Robin said, her tone a mix of exasperation and concern, and she felt his forehead yet again. Brook stared at her wrist until she withdrew her hand. "There isn't anything you're not telling us, is there?"

"Nothing I'm praying I didn't imagine," Brook murmured, still staring at the ceiling.

Robin frowned but didn't press him. "Do you need water?"

"I don't know . . . if it would help, but that would be nice."

When Robin returned with a glass, Brook was asleep again.

* * *

"Bro, this is getting out of hand."

Brook opened his eyes but didn't sit up, instead turning his head to see Franky and Robin. The sun had set, but weak as he had become, he didn't feel up to rising.

"You look like shit," Franky continued, folding his arms. "You haven't eaten for, like, three days, not counting the toast because that came right back out. I mean, you have work tomorrow, right? What're you gonna do if you're passed out again?"

"I don't know," came the weak murmur.

Franky sighed, rubbing his temple.

"Hold still, let me check your pulse," Robin said gently. Brook brought his arm out and let it rest still on the bed while Robin pressed her fingers to his wrist.

She frowned, moving her fingers around and squeezing. Soon she brought them up to his neck instead, where his lips parted as if by instinct when her fingers came close, and she pressed them into the spot between his chin and throat.

She brought her hand back a moment later, looking very troubled. "I can't get a pulse."

"What?" Brook murmured, looking at her.

Robin pressed a hand to his cold chest. "No heartbeat," she said after a moment. "Maybe I'm not doing it properly," she added, though she didn't sound convinced. "Brook, could you . . . ?"

Brook felt around for his own pulse and heartbeat to no avail.

"Odd," he murmured.

"No heartbeat?" Franky said. He studied Brook's oddly pale complexion and the shadows under his eyes, and came over properly to get a look at them. "Your eyes look fine . . . tired, but fine."

Robin held her hand over Brook's mouth, waiting for breath to come, but he lifted his head and would have bitten her fingers if she hadn't moved her hand back in time.

"Brook?" she said, frowning.

Brook's head fell back, his eyes widening. "I don't . . . what was . . ."

"Um . . . I'm getting a weird vibe from this situation," Franky announced. "'Cause all this shit's suddenly coming to light, and yesterday . . . Brook, bro, I didn't see you in the TV."

"Of course not, Mr. Franky, I'm not an actor," Brook murmured.

"No! I meant the reflection! You know, when the screen's black it's like a mirror—I saw me, but not you!"

Silence. Robin stood and left the room.

"You must have been seeing things," Brook whispered, staring at the ceiling.

Robin returned and held up a hand mirror across from Brook. No matter which way she twisted it, he would not show up.

"Tell me if you can see yourself in this," she said, handing it to Brook. "Because I can't at all."

Brook grasped the handle with both hands and held it above himself. He saw the pillow, indented by his head, and the blanket covering him—but not _himself. _

"What a terrible dream this is," he murmured, setting the mirror down.

"Bro, you're not dreaming," Franky said firmly.

"I am. This has all been a bad dream, from the magic circle to becoming a cat to right this moment."

"What?" Robin said.

"I don't know what you're on about, but the signs basically point to you being a vampire," Franky said bluntly. Brook flinched, but Franky pressed on, "The other stuff might be attributed to some weird illness, but I can't think of any disease that makes you invisible to mirrors. I bet anything if we took a picture of you right now, you wouldn't be in it."

Brook shut his eyes as if that would help drown out Franky's voice.

"Haven't you said you've been thirsty?" Robin asked, touching his shoulder. "This would explain what you're thirsty _for_ . . . that is, human blo—"

"Don't say it," Brook whispered.

"I think it's the truth, Brook."

"Yeah, I'm with her," Franky agreed. Brook opened his eyes again and turned to him. "This explains the whole sleeping in the day thing, too, right?"

"I'm going back to sleep," Brook said stubbornly. "I am _not_—that thing you said."

"My, what pointy teeth you have," Franky remarked, studying Brook's mouth.

"Please go away, Mr. Franky," Brook said, squinting at him.

Franky turned around and left the room, shutting the door behind him. A moment later he came flying back in, eyes wide.

"Yo, what the _hell_ did you just do?!" he exclaimed, staring at Brook. "You _made_ me leave, I didn't do that on my own, what kind of weird vampire power was that?!"

Brook closed his eyes and covered his face with the blanket.

"We're leaving," Robin said at last. She stood. "Don't think this is over."

She left, dragging Franky with her, and they shut off the light.

* * *

Brook was left alone for the remainder of the night (where he slipped in and out of sleep in his bed) and the following day. When the next night came, around midnight, he looked a wreck, pale and weak and unmoving.

"Brook, can you hear me?" Robin asked gently. She and Franky had come in again for a final intervention.

Brook licked his lips and nodded, eyes still shut.

"I don't care if you don't like it," she said bluntly. "I won't let you die."

She and Franky got him sitting up, and she gently opened his mouth and stuck her wrist inside. Brook began to bite down before he weakly brought up an arm, trying to bat her away.

"For god's sake, Brook," Robin said in exasperation. "I'll be fine. Just accept it."

She stuck her arm in again, and at last, Brook's new instincts won over, and he bit down, making Robin wince as he began to draw blood. He closed his eyes as he drank, not having had proper nourishment for some time.

When Robin started to feel dizzy, she smacked Franky, who helped get Brook off her and reluctantly offered up his own arm instead. Brook now bit down on this new flesh (a tad hairier than Robin's arm) while Robin studied the cuts already closing themselves on her arm.

Brook, finally back to full strength and consciousness, frantically released Franky's arm and crossed his legs, licking his lips and staring at the bed.

"How do you feel?" Robin asked.

Brook's eyes welled up.

"Please don't cry."

"I—" Brook swallowed. "I've never liked vampires, at all, even in films."

"No one's saying you gotta go interact with other vampires, if there are any," Franky said with a shrug. "And you know yourself, and we know you. _I _think you're a pretty rad dude, and I don't know why you'd think any differently, so . . . since you're the only vampire we all know personally, I'd say vampires aren't all that bad."

Brook cracked a smile at this explanation. "Good point." He looked between Robin and Franky. "Ms. Robin, Mr. Franky, I apologize for my rudeness recently, I know you two were only trying to help."

"I'm just glad you're fine now," Robin said with a smile. "This may be a problem, going to work when you're nocturnal . . ."

"I'm sure I could nap between classes," Brook said. "Although . . ."

"Hey, how'd this happen?" Franky interrupted.

"I think it must have been . . ." Brook told them about the odd student and the magic circle. "Which brings me to what I was saying—I think the sun is dangerous."

"Would sunscreen help?"

Robin and Brook stared at Franky.

"What?"

"I guess we can try it," Robin said.

"Can vampires turn into cats?" Brook asked suddenly.

"Some legends call them shapeshifters," Robin said after a pause. "Why do you—?"

There was a puff of smoke and Robin and Franky found themselves looking at a black curly-furred cat. Another puff of smoke later and Brook was back, crouched on the bed.

"What the _fuck?" _Franky exclaimed.

"Ah, yes, that happened when I was on my walk a few nights ago," Brook explained. "I'd hoped it was a hallucination, you see."

Robin ducked her head, shaking with laughter.

"Alright, we can figure out weird vampire powers later," Franky said, scratching his head. "I guess Robin and I can have juice or something before bed . . . uh, what're you gonna do tonight?"

"Good question," Brook said pensively. "Can a vampire . . . remove memories?"

He shuddered at the thought.

"Sometimes," Robin said after a moment, straightened up and composing herself. "But there are so many conflicting stories . . ."

Brook glanced at Franky. "Ah, pardon me," he said, reaching out. "There's some lint . . ."

He brushed two fingers across Franky's forehead, and Franky's eyes fell shut as he collapsed onto the bed. Brook shrieked in surprise, backing against the wall.

"Oh, maybe that's how vampires remove memories," Robin said thoughtfully. "How useful . . . after drinking, send the victim into unconsciousness to help them rest from blood loss and forget what they saw."

"_Please_ don't use the word 'victim!'" Brook shrieked. "Mr. Franky, wake up!"

* * *

Once Franky woke up on the couch, having been carried to the living room, the situation had to be explained to him all over again, leaving him with amusement and exasperation directed at Brook, who would not stop apologizing.

"Alright, shut up," Franky snapped. He downed the juice Robin had gotten out for him. "I'm going to bed. G'night."

He trudged down the hall, leaving Robin and Brook alone.

"Will you stay here?" Robin asked.

"I think . . . I will take another walk," Brook said. "If only to occupy myself . . . and if . . ."

He shivered at the thought.

"You'll have to get used to feeding on blood at some point," Robin murmured. "But yes, if you do get thirsty again, you can find someone on the street."

"Ms. Robin, language!"

"Have a good evening," Robin said with a smile, clapping him on the back before she stood and went to her room.

Brook stared at the opposite wall, noting he didn't appear in the black screen of the television.

"I can never have normal food again," he murmured. "At least . . . that _stuff_ . . . tastes good now."

He let out a big sigh and stood, going to his room to get dressed before heading into the night.


	126. Modern-Day: Werewolf Chopper

**ForeverAWSOMEAuraSpaceDragon and Ashlielle requested WW Chopper! **

**Non-humans: WW Luffy, WW Chopper **

**Modern AU **

* * *

"Luffy," Chopper whispered, nudging him. As it always was on the morning after the full moon, Luffy was fast asleep at his desk, exhausted from the previous night and catching as much sleep as he could before lunch. As it always was on any given day, Chopper didn't think the best time to sleep was in class.

"_Luffy," _Chopper whispered again, poking his cheek. "Lunch is soon."

"Lunch . . ." Luffy mumbled, half-asleep. "Food . . . ?"

He lazily turned his head and bit down on Chopper's finger, bringing out a yelp of pain that made his classmates turn around and the teacher look up.

"Sorry," he whispered, hiding his bleeding finger (Luffy had quite a strong jaw), but as everyone went back to working or talking and Luffy woke up properly, Chopper's head sank down onto his desk.

Luffy rubbed his mouth and yawned, looking at the worksheet he'd gotten earlier and then at Chopper.

"And you tell _me_ not to fall asleep in class," he whispered, grinning triumphantly. He poked Chopper. "Get up!"

Chopper didn't stir. For several seconds Luffy poked him insistently, and then Chopper finally raised his head, blinking in confusion.

"You fell asleep," Luffy said accusingly, though he was grinning, delighted that he had caught Chopper in such a hypocritical act.

Chopper's eyes widened and he slammed his hands over his mouth as he retched. He stood and ran to the trashcan in the corner, vomiting into it, and coughed.

"Do you need the nurse?" the teacher asked in concern as the class and Luffy stared with wide eyes.

"No," Chopper whispered. "I'm okay."

"If you're sure."

The second disruption made everyone notice what time it was, and all work ceased as everyone hastily packed up, waiting for the bell. Chopper went back to his desk and gave Luffy a look.

"You okay?" Luffy asked.

The bell rang and they went to lunch, Chopper silent the whole way.

* * *

"You threw up?" Sanji repeated in concern.

"He did," Luffy said. "And he was sleeping right before that, after he keeps telling _me_ not to sleep—"

"Luffy, _you bit my finger!" _Chopper burst out at last.

Silence fell over the table.

"You _what?" _Nami said at last, glaring at Luffy.

"I did?" Luffy said blankly. "When?"

Chopper showed him his finger and told him what had happened.

"Wait, so . . ." Luffy's face scrunched up in thought. "I bit your finger . . . and then you passed out . . . and threw up . . ." His expression changed to shock. "Oh, no, I didn't know it works when I'm not transformed!"

"I'm a werewolf now?!" Chopper exclaimed, looking like he might cry.

"Way to go, Luffy," Zoro snapped, smacking his shoulder.

"I didn't mean to!" Luffy exclaimed. "Geez, I'm sorry, Chopper—"

"Now you _both_ need to keep your mouths away from me," Usopp exclaimed. "But, man, that sucks, Chopper—"

"It's not _all_ bad," Luffy said, sounding a little offended. "You get a cool tail! And really good smelling powers!"

"But—but doesn't transforming hurt?" Chopper cried.

"Sure, but after that, if no one's around, there's nothing to worry about except being lonely," Luffy said with a shrug. Sanji and Usopp looked away.

Chopper put his head in his arms. Nami patted his back soothingly while glaring at Luffy.

* * *

"I'm a werewolf now."

"What are you talking about?" Kureha said as she and Hiruluk looked up from their collaborative report at the computer.

Chopper sat on the desk and clutched his hat to him. "Luffy bit me on accident and I'm a werewolf now."

"What should we do at the full moon, then?" Hiruluk asked, glancing back at the document and tapping a few keys, frowning when he accidentally highlighted and deleted the entire thing.

"Don't encourage him," Kureha scolded. "Chopper, I'm certain werewolves aren't real—_what did you do?!" _

"I'm trying to fix it!" Hiruluk exclaimed.

Chopper leaned over to the keyboard and tapped Ctrl+Z, bringing the document back.

"Thank you," Kureha said in relief.

"Mom, I told you about Luffy before," Chopper added, frowning.

"And if vampires like Dalton exist, werewolves aren't a stretch, are they?" Hiruluk added with a grin.

"You're too much alike," Kureha said with a scowl.

"Chopper, what should we do on the full moon?" Hiruluk asked again.

"Um—make sure I can't get to either of you," Chopper said, voice shaking. "Usopp and Sanji said Luffy tried to attack them as soon as he transformed."

Kureha made a point of ignoring both of them.

"Will you transform into a wolf-like wolf, or a man-wolf?" Hiruluk asked. "Er, if you know what I mean."

"Wolf-like wolf, I think, but I'll ask Luffy tomorrow," Chopper said, clutching his hat tightly. "And I think I'm gonna be sick the day before that night, so I can't go to school."

"So help me if I find you faking sick . . ." Kureha muttered, breaking her silence.

"Good to know," Hiruluk said with an encouraging smile. "Don't worry, Chopper, it'll be fine. Talk to Luffy tomorrow and see what else will happen."

"I'll get a tail," Chopper said.

Hiruluk laughed. "How appropriate! Good to know, good to know. Kureha, what did you do?" he added, looking back at the document.

"I don't know," Kureha said in frustration. The words she typed out now were several times larger than the previous text.

Chopper leaned over and fixed it.

* * *

A month passed, and one morning, Chopper woke up with a fever.

"Already called the school," Hiruluk said cheerfully, placing crackers and water at Chopper's bedside table as Kureha checked Chopper over. "And you can take tomorrow off, too."

"I'm writing this up as a coincidence for now," Kureha said once she was satisfied. "Do you want either of us to stay here, Chopper?"

Chopper shook his head. "It's okay," he whispered.

"We'll see you tonight. Call if anything's wrong."

* * *

The sun had set well before Hiruluk and Kureha arrived back home. Kureha had taken it upon herself to get the key, and as she relocked the door and hung it back up, Hiruluk called, "Chopper? We're home!"

A faint snarl met their ears.

"Oh, dear, that's right, he must have transformed earlier," Hiruluk remarked. "Maybe we should have left a plate of food out—do you know what wolves eat?"

"I'll go check on him," Kureha said, removing her coat and shoes and heading to Chopper's room.

"Kureha, please," Hiruluk exclaimed, grabbing her shoulders and trying to hold her back. "From what he said, it's really not safe—"

Kureha rolled her eyes and opened Chopper's door. The moment the sight of the enormous, hulking wolf met her eyes, she slammed it shut. There was a _bang_ as Chopper knocked against it.

"I did tell you," Hiruluk said reproachfully.

Kureha placed a hand over her chest as if trying to slow her rapidly beating heart.

"That was Chopper?" she whispered.

"I suppose so."

A growl came from behind the door. Kureha turned around and knelt by it.

"Chopper?" she called. "It's your mother. Can you hear me?"

Another growl, and a whine of frustration.

"Kureha, I, eh . . ." Hiruluk knelt by her. "I'm not sure he knows who we are."

Kureha stared at the door.

"Come on, let's eat and go to bed," he said helpfully.

"How are you so calm about this?"

"Because I've known about it for a month and I'm good at pretending to be calm."

Kureha finally looked at him and found his face taut with worry.

"You're a liar is what you are," she said at last. "I suppose, if there's nothing we can do for him right now . . ."

They helped each other up and left, doing their best to ignore the impatient growling.

* * *

Chopper woke up on the floor and his eyes flew open in a panic as memories from the previous night returned. He looked back to see a yellow tail (yellow to his eyes) sprouting from his backside. He pulled on his clothes, falling over several times, and ran into the door trying to get out.

"Mom!" he exclaimed, running to the kitchen. "Dad! I—"

The kitchen was empty and sunlight streamed in through the window. Chopper found a note on the fridge instead.

_Breakfast is in the fridge. We'll be home tonight. Call if there's an emergency. We love you.  
_—_Mom &amp; Dad _

Chopper opened the fridge and found cold pancakes waiting. He heated them in the microwave and ate quickly, having had hardly anything the previous day and night; afterwards he headed back to bed for a morning nap.

It was midday when he woke up, and it didn't take long for horrible loneliness to set in, just like last night when his parents had left the door.

Chopper hurried to the phone and dialed a number, waiting and swaying in place.

"_Chopper, what is it?" _

"Mom!" Chopper exclaimed, so relieved to hear a familiar voice. "Um, when are you guys gonna be home?"

"_Same time as always, unless they decide to keep us late. How are you?" _

"I'm fine. Um—that's it. See you later!"

"_Have a good day." _

Chopper reluctantly hung up, and glanced around in agitation as loneliness set in again.

* * *

A couple hours had passed when there was a knock at the door. Chopper had been drawing to distract himself, and crumpled-up papers littered the floor. He jumped up when the knock came, wiping at his eyes (he couldn't help that he had cried just a little bit), and ran to the door, opening it to find—

"Chopper!" Usopp exclaimed, grinning. "How're you doing?!"

Nami glanced back as the car in the street drove away. "Nice tail," she said, smiling as she glanced down to see a suddenly wagging tail.

"What're you guys doing here?!" Chopper exclaimed happily as Luffy jumped on him in a hug.

"I hate being alone now so I realized you probably do now too," Luffy explained, "so Usopp called Nami and she drove us all here—"

"You were driving again?" Chopper said in worry, letting everyone inside.

"Bellemère did," Nami corrected. "Usopp's mom is picking these two up later, and I'll be walking home."

"You guys actually came to visit me," Chopper said in wonder, tearing up.

"Well, yeah," Luffy said, pulling his tail out once the door was shut. "How was last night?"

"Not fun."

"Don't have to worry about that till next month, do you?" Usopp said confidently, patting his back.

Chopper frowned. "And . . . I think I'm craving meat . . ."

"Yeah, it's great," Luffy sighed happily.

"Luffy, he's a vegetarian," Nami reminded him.

"Oh, yeah."

"What do I do?" Chopper said in worry.

Luffy shrugged. "Dunno. I just eat meat whenever."

"Don't be insensitive," Usopp exclaimed, hitting his shoulder.

"I guess . . ." Chopper looked worried. "It's okay to eat meat if I need to . . . right?"

"Of course it is," Nami said gently. "I can show you later how to find humane brands."

"Ah, I just remembered, I forgot to leave a note for Ace and Sabo," Luffy said carelessly.

"Call them later!" Usopp exclaimed. "Otherwise you'll end up in a missing person report!"

"They don't worry _that_ much!"

"Yes, they do," Chopper and Usopp said together.

* * *

The three of them left shortly before Kureha and Hiruluk arrived home. They were greeted with hugs and a fiercely wagging tail.


	127. Modern-Day: Vampire Ace

**Vampire Ace was requested by betsybugaboo and phonenix, and phonenix also requested the part with chocolate! **

**Non-humans: WW Luffy, Vampire Sanji, Vampire Ace **

**Modern AU **

* * *

Ace lay on the couch, slumping against two pillows as he idly ate away at a dark chocolate bar he had bought earlier. Movement caught his eye and he glanced down to see Luffy crawling on the floor next to the couch; Luffy draped himself over Ace's knees and stared at the chocolate with puppy eyes.

"Want some?" Ace asked, offering it up.

Luffy grinned and took a big bite.

"I wasn't giving you the _rest _of it, geez!" Ace exclaimed, yanking it back.

"It's good," Luffy said around his mouthful, swallowing quickly and sticking out his now brown tongue.

"I know, that's why I have it! Go away!"

Luffy climbed up on the couch next to him and lay down, tail thumping on the cushions. Ace sighed and scratched his ears, setting down the chocolate far away from him.

* * *

Ace and Sabo winced again when yet another retch came from inside the bathroom.

"Um . . . dogs can't eat chocolate, right?" Ace said.

"Yeah, and a certain amount is deadly," Sabo said. He gave Ace a look. "Did you—?"

"Yeah," Ace admitted. "Come on, how was I supposed to know?"

"He's half-canine now, better safe than sorry—!"

"It wasn't even that much, and he was doing _those eyes_ at me—"

"Well, now thanks to you he gets to be sick _two_ days in a row, tomorrow's the full moon, I think—"

The toilet flushed and they fell silent. Sabo pushed open the door and found Luffy curled up on the floor next to the bowl.

"How do you feel?" he demanded, kneeling by him.

Luffy let out a whine.

"Okay." Sabo helped him up. "Go take a nap. Ace will get you water."

* * *

The next night, Ace shivered in his thrown-on T-shirt and boxers, wishing he'd worn something warmer.

"Any running off and we're going straight back inside," he warned Luffy, who bounded happily beside him. He looked up at the reddish moon, wondering how long the eclipse would last.

They turned right at the end of the street and had walked a ways when—

* * *

Ace woke up in the dark area between two houses to find Luffy licking his face and whining. He shoved Luffy off of him and stood, leaning against the house side.

"What happened?" he mumbled. He looked down at Luffy, who pushed his head into Ace's stomach. "Ow—"

Ace hugged him back. "Do you know what happened?"

Luffy gave him a nod and an impatient whine.

"Tell me tomorrow," Ace said. "I can't understand you, and we should probably get going. Um . . ." He frowned. "How long was I . . . ? Five minutes? Ten minutes?"

Luffy barked.

"Ten minutes? Yeah, let's go back now."

They got back to the sidewalk and headed back. Ace, for some reason, felt woozy and had a headache.

When they reached the corner before the turn into the cul-de-sac, they were stopped by a blonde teen, someone not much older than Luffy with an odd eyebrow.

"Oh, pardon me," Sanji said politely.

Luffy barked happily and headbutted Sanji.

"Your dog?" Sanji said with a smile, not really looking at Luffy as he patted his head. "What's her name?"

Luffy cocked his head and growled.

"_He_, not _she_," Ace snapped. "Wait, you meant—oh. _His_ name's Lu—um, Lew."

Luffy gave Ace an indignant look.

"I panicked, okay?" Ace hissed, unaware they had had this exchange already.

Sanji decided to ignore this and looked at Ace, ignoring Luffy completely now. "I hate to be so abrupt, but I haven't had a drink for two days and a night," he said.

"What?"

"Come over here," Sanji ordered, and Ace was forced to follow him. Luffy whined and tugged on Sanji's pants, and Sanji gently kicked him off, eyes trained on Ace.

"Keep quiet, too," he added.

Once Ace was still and silent in another area between two houses, this one paved with gravel, Sanji clutched his shoulders and approached from the back, sinking his teeth into his neck. Luffy growled and headbutted Sanji's legs over and over, but gave up when Sanji eventually became so irritated he kicked Luffy hard.

At last, Sanji pulled back and moved two fingers across Ace's forehead, wiping his memory. Ace sank down and Sanji helped him sit against the house, going out to the sidewalk. Luffy stayed by Ace, whimpering and nudging him, pressing an ear to his chest.

"Come over here," Sanji ordered. Luffy plodded over, staring at Ace, and Sanji kept an eye on him to make sure he wouldn't move.

"He'll be fine," Sanji said soothingly. It had been perhaps ten minutes. "A little food and drink and rest will do it." He eyed Luffy. "Hm, that's weird . . . no collar? Does he usually walk you without a leash?"

Luffy growled and headbutted Sanji again, but before Sanji could turn to him indignantly, he paused, listening.

"Can't be," he muttered, standing. "I didn't . . ."

He strode back over to Ace and pressed his ear to his chest, Luffy standing close by.

"No heartbeat," Sanji whispered to himself. Luffy whimpered, nosing Ace's cheek to no response—he was already growing cold.

"How can this be—?! I didn't take that much, I _know_ I didn't—!" Sanji hissed, shaking Ace gently. "Wake up, _wake up_—"

Ace remained unmoving. Sanji ran his hands through his hair and stared at the house side, thinking.

"It's a long shot," he muttered. "But, maybe . . ."

He grabbed Ace's body and hefted it up, adjusting his grip.

"Lew, come with us," he said, hurrying out, and Luffy followed close behind, tail between his legs and whining.

Sanji approached the door of the closest house and managed to bring out his knuckles far enough to press the doorbell. The resident opened it a couple minutes later, looking very sleepy in a bathrobe.

"Can I come in?" Sanji asked abruptly. "Please? It's an emergency."

"What's wrong with him?" the person asked, frowning.

"I'll explain inside," Sanji lied.

"Um . . . okay, come in. Just so you know, I have pepper spray," the person added defensively.

"That won't be necessary," Sanji said, stepping over the threshold, Luffy following. Once the door was shut, they brought Ace up the stairs and laid him on the couch.

"God, I hope this works . . . hold still and keep quiet," Sanji ordered the person, and they froze. Sanji moved forward and grabbed their arm, biting into their wrist, and once the blood was in his mouth, he went to Ace, propped him up on the cushions, and pried open his jaw, spitting the blood inside.

A moment later, Ace swallowed it. Luffy sat by, still whimpering.

"What the—" the person exclaimed, but Sanji turned to them again and ordered silence.

"Sorry, but I think this'll save him," he said by way of explanation, biting into the person's wrist again.

He was on his fifth unusual mouth-to-mouth resuscitation method when Luffy let out a whimper and collapsed to the ground. Sanji gave him a look before continuing.

A moment later, Luffy rose, growling, and immediately charged for the resident.

"_Stop," _Sanji exclaimed, and Luffy froze, growling. "What the hell is it now? Look, I can't deal with this, just—go over there."

Luffy went where Sanji pointed, and Sanji quickly shut the door, locking Luffy inside the closet. Sanji went back to the resident, ordered silence and stillness again, and continued his work.

It was several minutes before Ace's eyes fluttered. Sanji wiped the resident's memory with another apology, and caught them as they collapsed. He carried them to the chair and rested them on it gently.

"You okay?" he asked Ace, tapping his shoulder.

Ace blinked his eyes open. "What happened?" he mumbled, smacking his lips. "Where is this? Who're you?"

He stood slowly, wincing. "Come on, how many times is this gonna happen to me?" he muttered. He suddenly looked around in alarm. "Where's—?"

"Your dog?" Sanji said. He went to the closet and opened the door; Luffy came out, and though he sniffed Sanji suspiciously, he didn't attack and loped out into the living room.

"Okay," Ace said in relief. He looked at Sanji in annoyance. "I don't know who you are, but _we_ are going home."

"Before you do, I should tell you something," Sanji said, raising a hand.

"I don't care. We need to get home as soon as possible before _he_—" Ace shook his head. "We're leaving."

He whistled, and Luffy followed him once he'd sniffed his legs properly. His tail wagged as they left the house.

"Dumbass," Sanji said under his breath. He went into the person's kitchen to make them food before he left himself.

* * *

"Luffy, you better tell me everything tomorrow," Ace said in irritation as they made their way to their house. "Two times waking up with no memory in _one night_ is too much."

Luffy grumbled something. Ace glanced up at the moon and frowned.

"Wait," he muttered. "The eclipse . . . passed."

He looked at Luffy again. "I'm not complaining, but why aren't you attacking me?"

Luffy glanced up at him and tilted his head in confusion.

"Well . . . I'm not looking this gift wolf in the mouth," Ace said with a grin, patting Luffy's head. "Come on, let's go see Sabo before you go back to your room."

They reached their house, and Ace opened the door, letting Luffy inside.

"Hey, we're back," he said, shutting it.

Sabo looked over from the couch. "Hey. Eclipse isn't over yet?"

Luffy snarled at the sight of him and charged, startling Ace and Sabo.

"Luffy, what're you—?! _Stop!" _Ace exclaimed. Luffy froze and Ace came up, grabbing him around the chest and holding him tightly. "Sabo, I dunno what's going on—the eclipse passed, but he wasn't attacking me, so—"

"That is weird," Sabo remarked, studying Luffy, who glared at him with bared teeth. "As long as he's not attacking you . . . can you take him back to his room? He might start attacking you soon . . ."

"Yeah, go to your room," Ace said, wrestling Luffy to the ground. Sabo used Ace's shoulders to vault over him and hurried away, and Ace waited until he was in his room to let go of Luffy, who stood and whined in frustration.

"The hell's your problem?" he demanded, smacking Luffy. "Come on, back to your room, we'll talk in the morning."

Luffy reluctantly followed him to the bedroom, and whined and scratched at the door when Ace shut him inside.

"You stay there," Ace said sternly. He went to his own room and shut the door, lying on his bed, though strangely he didn't feel tired.

* * *

"Luffy, hurry up, you'll miss the bus," Sabo said, gently pushing him to the kitchen to get some bread with peanut butter.

"I gotta talk to Ace," Luffy protested, yawning as his head bobbed.

"You can talk to both of us later. I guess something was weird last night, since you went for me and not him, but _it can wait_. Come on, you can eat on the way."

Luffy held his bread in his mouth as Sabo helped him get to the bus stop and waited with him and Usopp. Usopp grimaced sympathetically and Sabo shrugged.

* * *

On the bus, Luffy devoured his bread and promptly fell asleep. Sanji boarded not a minute later, and he too curled up in his seat and passed out.

* * *

"Come on, we have to go to school, too . . ."

"Can I skip?" came the muffled response from where Ace had shoved his face into his pillow.

"Your loss," Sabo said in exasperation. "I'll be back this evening."

Ace fell back asleep as Sabo left the room.

* * *

At lunch, Luffy glared at Sanji, who was fast asleep at the table.

"Did he do something?" Usopp asked.

Luffy reached over and hit Sanji, who sat up, rubbing his head.

"What?" he muttered, eyes flashing red.

"You're dumb!" Luffy burst out angrily. "You kicked me and killed Ace!"

"_What?!" _Chopper and Nami shrieked.

"What?" Sanji echoed, staring at Luffy in confusion. "Ace? Your brother? What do you mean?"

"He got better, but he—he almost—" Luffy hit Sanji again. "You're dumb!"

Sanji frowned, his tired brain slowly putting things together. "Does Ace . . . have freckles? And dark hair?"

Luffy nodded.

"Fuck, I'm sorry," Sanji muttered. "I don't know what happened . . . I didn't take enough to _kill_ him, I know I didn't."

"What's going on?" Zoro asked, watching them with interest.

"Last night, there was a guy—Luffy's brother, I guess—walking his dog, and I stopped him to have a drink," Sanji explained, running a hand through his hair in agitation. "But I swear—I only took a little more than I usually do, so I don't know _why_, but his heart—"

"He did die?" Chopper whispered.

"He got better," Sanji said, echoing Luffy. "I had a hunch . . . long story short, I gave him some blood . . . and he's a vampire now."

"Then I forgive you," Luffy declared, "'cause vampires are cool and you didn't mean to. But you still kicked me!"

Sanji now gave him an indignant look. "I did not. And how do you know all this? Ace couldn't have told you, I wiped his memory—"

"I was trying to tell you!" Luffy burst out. "Geez, you _are_ dumb! I was there the whole time! Last night was the full moon!"

Sanji's eyes widened. "_You _were that dog!"

"Yeah! Duh!"

"How was I supposed to know?!"

"Well, if you'd _paid attention to me—_"

"Why was your brother walking with a transformed werewolf?!"

"'Cause for some reason the ellipse made me rancid!"

The others stared at him.

"Lucid," Nami said. "You mean lucid."

"That's what I said! And I was _trying_ to tell both of you, but you're dumb and didn't know, that Ace got stopped by _another_ vampire just a little bit before _you_ stopped him!"

"Will you stop calling me dumb?!" Sanji exclaimed. "And how in the world was I supposed to know that?!"

"I don't know! Maybe you can smell other vampires!"

"I can't do something like that! You're the one who can smell weird things!"

"It's pronounced 'cool,' not 'weird!' And—"

Usopp smacked Luffy, and Zoro smacked Sanji, and both fell silent at last.

"Sorry for kicking you," Sanji muttered.

"Good," Luffy muttered.

* * *

Sabo came to get Luffy from Usopp's house on his way back.

"Where's Ace?" Luffy said. "Sleeping?"

"He was earlier," Sabo said. "He wanted to skip school."

"How come he gets to so easily?" Luffy said indignantly. "Also, he's a vampire now."

Sabo looked at him.

"It's the truth!"

"Explain yourself when we're at the house," Sabo said, rubbing his temple.

* * *

Sabo stared at Luffy, and Ace stared with bleary eyes, and Luffy grinned. He had explained everything quite quickly.

Once they had questioned him on certain parts of the story, to which Luffy became more and more impatient, Ace finally rubbed his eyes and muttered, "I guess that explains . . . everything. Like why I can't find my pulse all of a sudden."

"I bet you don't show up in mirrors," Luffy exclaimed.

"That'd be nice," Ace muttered. "Do you know where your friend Sanji lives?"

"Kinda."

"If I went down the street tonight, would I meet him?"

"Maybe."

Ace shut his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Okay. I'll go."

"I'm coming with you," Sabo said.

"I think I'm nocturnal now," Ace murmured.

"You're taking this very well."

"Of course he is, it's cool," Luffy interrupted.

"Yeah, well," Ace said, "I think I'm just too tired to process it properly. Give me a few hours."

* * *

That night, as Ace and Sabo prepared to head out (Luffy fast asleep already), Sabo glanced over and saw Ace staring into space.

"Have you processed it?" he asked.

"Just about," Ace said, grimacing. "Great, I don't think I can have normal food, _and_ I keep looking at your neck."

"I noticed. Come on, let's go find that guy."

They left the house, locking the door behind them, and went down the street, rounding the corner.

"It stopped early," Ace said.

"What?" Sabo said.

"My _very manly _p—"

"Oh." Sabo frowned. "I guess . . . since you're technically a living corpse now . . ." He threw an arm around Ace's shoulders. "Kinda makes sense that it would stop."

Ace looked delighted. "That's the best news I've ever heard. Why didn't I become a vampire years ago?"

"What a good question."

At the end of the street, they came face-to-face with Sanji.

"Hey," he said. He glanced at Ace awkwardly. "Did Luffy tell you? He explained what happened . . ."

"Yeah," Ace said, scowling, still annoyed about the previous night (despite the advantages it gave him).

"So . . . want me to teach you stuff?" Sanji asked, rubbing the back of his neck.

"I guess," Ace muttered. He shoved his hands in his pockets.

"I'm coming with you," Sabo added.

"You're Sabo? Good, we can use a blood source. Come on."

Sabo frowned, but went with them nonetheless.

* * *

**We're going back to the canonverse now! **


	128. Vampire Vivi

**We're back! And today's Vivi's birthday!**

**Oh, and I'm thinking about doing a Vampire Luffy AU like the one where he's a werewolf the whole time (The Adventures of Werewolf Luffy), but it's gonna be in a separate fic altogether due to what happens. I'll show it here when it's done! **

**WaterStar45 and Ashlielle requested Vampire Vivi! **

**Non-humans: Vampire Vivi **

* * *

"Very well," Igaram said, placing a hand on Vivi's shoulder. "Princess Vivi . . . I will meet you in Alabasta."

He gave her a meaningful look as his eyes darted around to Luffy, Zoro, and Nami, but he said nothing more.

* * *

"We need to go!" Nami exclaimed, seizing Vivi's shoulder, but she froze when she saw how hard Vivi was biting her lip, and how her eyes appeared to glow red in the light of the explosion at sea. She grabbed Vivi in a hug, saying reassuring words until Vivi had composed herself enough to follow.

The Strawhats plus Vivi and Karoo gathered themselves aboard Merry and sailed away from Whiskey Peak. Zoro glanced at Vivi and frowned.

"Mr. Bushido?" she said, noticing this.

"Your eyes are blue," he said, apparently confused.

"Yes?"

"It's just—" He scratched his head. "Well, never mind, must've been a trick of the light. I thought they were red earlier."

Vivi forced a laugh. "Really? That—That's strange."

They entered a foggy area, and it wasn't long before a stranger boarded their ship and made herself known.

"Miss Wednesday," she said at one point, looking to Vivi. "Princess Nefertari Vivi of Alabasta . . . do you think I don't know what you are?"

Vivi stiffened, biting her lip.

"Of course . . . it's hardly vital information . . . so I haven't shared it with anyone," Robin added. "I happened to catch a glimpse of you one day with your partner, doing what you do . . . you know how it is."

"Shut up," Vivi hissed, glaring at her.

"What is she talking about?" Usopp said in confusion.

"I don't know," Vivi lied, looking away from her. "She's trying to catch me off-guard."

"If you say so," Robin said in a rather bored tone. "Now, you with the straw hat . . ."

* * *

Nami finished showing Vivi their quarters, but Vivi insisted (with an apology) that she was not tired, and offered to keep watch as long as she was awake. Nami shoved Sanji aside and offered to keep watch with her, if only to keep her company, and Vivi agreed.

That night, as the men slept, Vivi and Nami watched the sea, leaning against the railing. Vivi licked her lips, eyes darting to Nami's neck. She hadn't had a drink in two days . . .

"Nami-_san_," she said, and Nami glanced over. "I'm sorry. Don't move, and don't speak."

Nami froze and her eyes widened. She tried to speak, but couldn't find her voice. Vivi gently moved her, asked her to tilt her head, and moved in, sinking her teeth into Nami's neck.

When she'd had her fill, she moved away and wiped Nami's memory, not looking her in the eyes. Nami collapsed onto her, and Vivi took off her jacket, folding it and placing it under Nami's head as she laid her on the deck. She turned her gaze back to the sea.

"What?" she said defensively, catching Karoo staring at her. "I need to survive! And it's not like she'll die . . ."

She glanced at Nami again.

"So don't look at me like that," she finished, looking back to the ocean. Karoo squawked and trotted to her, settling down and shutting his eyes.

When Nami woke, it was with wide eyes and sitting bolt upright.

"Nami-_san_," Vivi exclaimed, kneeling. "Are you okay?"

"Had a bad dream," Nami admitted. She frowned, looked at Vivi, and looked around. "Why are we out here?"

Vivi bit her lip. "Um . . . we were on watch. You fell asleep . . ."

"On watch?" Nami said, clearly bemused. "I don't remember . . . well, everyone else must be asleep." She stood and handed Vivi back her jacket. "I can take over, if you want. I promise I won't fall asleep again."

"No, no, I'm really not tired at all," Vivi insisted. Nami shrugged and let her be, and they returned to watching the sea, occasionally walking around the ship to stretch their legs and check the other side.

Despite Vivi's insistence, she did manage to catch a nap in the wee hours, with Nami's assurance she could handle the watch on her own for a bit.

* * *

"Oh?" Sanji said, looking around. "Where's Vivi-_chan?" _

"Said she—" Nami cut herself off with a yawn. "Said she wasn't hungry. She's sleeping."

"How can she not be _hungry?" _Luffy asked in horror.

"Because some people aren't human trash cans," Zoro said, poking him.

"The fuck are you trying to say about my food?" Sanji snapped.

"I'm sure she'll be here for lunch," Nami interrupted.

* * *

When Vivi still did not show up for lunch, Nami kicked away Sanji's offers to look for her and left for the women's quarters herself. She found Vivi fast asleep in bed, Karoo pacing next to her.

"Hey, Princess," she said, shaking her. "Soup's on."

Vivi sat up straight, relaxing when she remembered where she was.

"Lunch is ready," Nami repeated.

"Oh—of course," Vivi said. Her eyes darted between Nami and the stairs. "I'll be . . . there in a minute."

"Sure." Nami ascended the stairs, and as soon as the trapdoor shut, Vivi got herself out of bed, yawning.

"Sunscreen, sunscreen," she murmured, searching through the satchel which had once hung from Karoo's back.

* * *

"Vivi-_chan_, welcome!" Sanji cried when Vivi finally entered the galley.

"There you are!" Luffy exclaimed, waving about a rack of meat. "Come on and eat!"

"You must be really hungry since you skipped breakfast," Usopp said, pushing her plate of food closer. Vivi eyed it apprehensively; it looked and smelled so delicious, but . . .

Her eyes darted around the table. Everyone was busy eating or trying to fend Luffy off from their food, but Zoro—Zoro caught her eye, watching her curiously. She flinched and turned to Sanji, coming to a decision.

"Sanji-_san?" _she whispered, but even over Luffy's and Usopp's yells, he heard her.

"Yes?" he exclaimed, hurrying over.

"I'm so sorry, but—is there any garlic in this?"

"None at all. Allergies?"

"I'm afraid so," Vivi said; only a half-lie, really.

"Oh, dear, you should have told me," Sanji exclaimed sympathetically. "I'll be sure to set aside something for you when I use it!"

"I could just . . . not eat at those times," Vivi suggested weakly.

"No, no, you should never skip meals," Sanji said, suddenly serious. "Any meal could be your last, you know."

"Yeah!" Luffy exclaimed. "Which is why I need seconds! Sanji!"

"Just a moment, shithead!" Sanji yelled. "Excuse me, Vivi-_chan_. Was there anything else?"

Vivi shook her head. Sanji smiled and left to get Luffy his seconds.

Vivi turned back to her plate, took a forkful of food, and eyed it anxiously. In one motion, aware of Zoro still watching her, she shoved it into her mouth, working to keep her face from twisting in disgust. Judging by the smell of it and the reactions of the others, Sanji was indeed a fantastic cook—a shame Vivi would never know his food like they did.

"It's delicious!" she lied after forcing it down her throat. As Sanji's entire day was made, Zoro turned away, apparently satisfied.

The rest of the meal was quite a chore, though Luffy helped somewhat by stealing food from her, an action bringing out chastising and kicking from Nami and Sanji.

* * *

To the worry of Nami, Usopp, and Sanji, Vivi returned to bed immediately following lunch, only coming out an hour past to stumble onto the deck, bend over the railing, and hurl into the sea.

As she sank to her shaking knees, she heard footsteps and whipped around to see Zoro, staring at her not with suspicion now, but concern.

"Are you sick?" he asked.

She shrugged, looking down.

"So that's why you didn't want to eat earlier," he muttered. "Go back to bed. I'll tell the cook."

"No," Vivi exclaimed. "I'm not—" She gulped, trying to get rid of the taste. "I'm fine," she said, lowering her voice. "It's just stress. I'll be okay."

"Well, okay," Zoro said. "Still, go rest. Throwing up sucks."

Vivi nodded. Zoro left, presumably to meditate and/or nap, and Vivi stood, getting her sea legs back. She turned around to see Luffy and Usopp staring; they had been goofing off when Vivi had run outside.

"You sure you'll be okay for dinner?" Usopp said tentatively.

Vivi nodded. "You're all very nice," she murmured, looking down guiltily. "Sorry for the trouble."

"What trouble?" Luffy said. "I don't see trouble."

Vivi gave him a smile and retreated to the women's quarters.

* * *

Dinner was as much of an ordeal as lunch had been, though this time Vivi managed to sneak some potatoes onto Luffy's plate, who failed to notice his food mysteriously multiplying.

Since the sun had almost set, Vivi was able to stay outside, resting in the shadows and watching Luffy bother Zoro with his usual bundle of energy before Nami made everyone get into bed, Zoro staying out for watch.

"Aren't you coming?" Nami added to Vivi, noticing her.

"Oh, yes," Vivi said hastily. She followed Nami into the bedroom and got into her bed.

It was a lucky thing Nami was fast asleep when Vivi began feeling pains in her stomach again. Vivi transformed into a cat, the better to creep up the stairs, and then back to normal at the top, slowly pushing open the trapdoor and shutting it softly behind her. The outside door, too, was opened and shut as silently as she could manage, and it was only when she stepped away from it that she hurried to the railing and hurled over the side again, coughing.

Zoro was by her side when she recovered, staring at her with concern.

"I'm getting Nami and the cook," he said abruptly, his tone making it clear he didn't plan on arguing. "They're the best at doctor stuff."

"No," Vivi exclaimed, standing. "Mr. Bushido, please don't say a word and go into the kitchen."

Zoro complied against his will, throwing a startled and suspicious look back at her as she followed him. When they were inside, Vivi shut the door behind them, still keeping her eyes trained on Zoro.

She finally looked away to get a glass of water. As she rinsed out her mouth, Zoro realized he could speak again and snapped, "What was that? You have some weird ability we don't know about?"

"Yes," Vivi whispered, setting the glass down. "I promised Igaram I wouldn't tell. I'm a vampire."

Zoro raised an eyebrow. "You were quick to say it. Some promise."

"You won't remember this, so it's okay, right? Please hold still and don't speak, Mr. Bushido."

Zoro froze and fell silent, and Vivi came for his neck. When she had had her fill, she moved back and didn't meet his eyes as she wiped his memory with a whispered apology. He collapsed, snoring, and she (with some effort) lifted him up, carrying him out the door and accidentally banging his head on the frame. He didn't wake, however, and she managed to drag him to the deck, where she propped him up against the railing.

"Let's see . . ." she murmured, turning to the ship and studying the floorboards.

* * *

Zoro awoke with a jolt and jumped up, looking around. He sensed no one and soon relaxed, sure that the ship had been safe during his nap. He sighed and returned to watch.

* * *

"Are you really that bored on lookout duty?" Nami said to Zoro the following morning. Vivi sat at the table with them, picking at her food and throwing it onto Luffy's plate when no one was watching.

"I didn't fall asleep," Zoro said quickly.

"What? I meant the deck. It's the cleanest it's been since . . . we _got_ Merry."

"Oh, that's what was different this morning," Zoro muttered.

"So it wasn't you who cleaned it?" Usopp said suspiciously. "Because it wasn't me, and it certainly wasn't Luffy—"

"Who says it wasn't me?" Luffy said indignantly. "I mean, it wasn't, but I can clean things if I want!"

"It wasn't me," Nami said, making a point of ignoring him. "Sanji-_kun?" _

"I wish," Sanji said. "Then I could receive your praises, Nami-_san_—! But really, I had nothing to do with it."

"Well, it wasn't me," Zoro said. "Vivi?"

She jumped. "What?"

"Did you clean the deck?"

She forced a laugh. "I was sleeping all night!"

"Okay."

"But, Zoro, if it wasn't _you_ . . . shouldn't you have seen who did it?" Nami said, squinting at him.

Zoro looked away.

"Ah, he fell asleep," Luffy said in understanding.

"Dumbass, what would you have done if we were attacked?" Sanji snapped, kicking Zoro's shin. Zoro scowled up at him, rubbing his leg.

"I don't _remember_ falling asleep," he protested.

"Who does?" Usopp pointed out.

"No, that's not what I—I was on watch, and I heard something . . . I came around the deck to investigate, and the next thing I know, I'm waking up against the railing."

"Someone was there?" Nami said, suddenly serious. "Could they have knocked you out?"

Zoro scowled again. "Like hell I'd let some jackass take me out like that!" He rubbed his head. "I do have a headache, though . . ."

"So, let me get this straight," Luffy said. "Zoro was on watch, he went to check something, but he got knocked out somehow and when he woke up no one had attacked and the deck was clean."

"Right," Zoro said.

"Okay," Luffy said. "That is pretty weird. But nothing bad happened, so it's fine, right?"

"I'm with him!" Usopp exclaimed. "Let's just leave it as a mystery!"

"I _suppose_ it's fine," Nami said reluctantly. "But if it happens again, then we'll have a problem."

"Oh, Vivi-_chan_, would you like more?" Sanji exclaimed, noticing her plate was empty.

"No, I'm full," she lied with a smile, thankful he hadn't spotted her tossing the last of her food onto Luffy's plate. "Thank you, Sanji-_san_."

"Maybe you should rest," Nami said with concern. "You look dead tired."

"You think so?" Vivi said with a huge yawn. "I didn't sleep well last night . . ."

"You get used to being at sea, don't worry!" Usopp said with a reassuring grin.

"Shall I bring you lunch?" Sanji offered.

"You don't have to," Vivi protested weakly. "But if you insist . . . just let me know if I can do anything . . ."

She stood and shuffled out to go back to the women's quarters.

* * *

Whenever someone came by, Vivi made sure she was awake, pretending to study a book or write something. She gave Sanji's lunch to Karoo, who was more than happy to have two meals, and got away that evening with giving half her dinner to Luffy, who as usual never questioned his growing food supply while she fed the rest of her dinner to Karoo under the table.

"Now, Sanji-_kun_, be on the lookout for a mysterious enemy who makes you fall asleep," Nami said, throwing a grin to Zoro, who stomped to the men's quarters, resolutely ignoring her.

"I'll be careful, Nami-_san_," Sanji promised, blowing her and Vivi kisses while they left for their quarters.

Later that evening, Sanji leaned against the railing, keeping a sharp eye and ear out for approaching ships. Since they had sailed out of the dangerous waters near Reverse Mountain, the sea was calm and even a touch warm; summer was approaching.

Footsteps made him jump and turn around, but it was only Vivi.

"Vivi-_chan_," he said with a smile. "How are you, my dear? Did you need something?"

"Well, yes," she admitted, glancing away.

"Coffee?" he offered. "I was thinking about making some for myself—"

"No thank you," she interrupted. "Please hold still, Sanji-_san_."

* * *

Sanji slept deeply as Vivi propped him up against the railing. She rolled up her sleeves and hurried to the kitchen.

* * *

"Well, Sanji-_kun?" _Nami said the following morning once breakfast was underway. Despite the yawning, Vivi had already assured her she was fine.

"Well . . . what?" he said, not quite looking at her.

"Did some mysterious foe come by?"

"Leave me alone," Zoro muttered.

"Sanji, you're not answering," Usopp said, rubbing his chin and squinting at him.

"Did you fall asleep too?" Luffy said, mouth full of food.

Sanji busied himself at the stove.

"So you did?" Nami said.

"Yes," Sanji whispered.

Zoro grinned triumphantly. "See, I'm not the only one."

Luffy swallowed his food. "It happened again? Sanji?"

"But if it was the same person from before . . . are they even an enemy?" Sanji asked, turning around, his ears red with embarrassment despite his reasoning words. "I was on watch, and I was thinking about getting some coffee when I heard something . . . I turned around, and the next thing I know, I'm waking up against the railing. But the weird thing is, I checked around the ship, and not only was the kitchen counter was spotless, someone had made a fresh pot of coffee."

"So . . ." Nami rested her chin in her hands. "Someone's coming to our ship, knocking out the lookout, and then doing chores while they're asleep? What kind of benevolent enemy is this?"

"One we shouldn't worry about!" Usopp interjected. "Personally, I don't think we have anything to fear! This stranger hasn't hurt anyone _and_ is doing chores for us! What's the harm?"

"He has a point," Zoro admitted, "but I'd still like to see what this guy looks like. Can two people take watch tomorrow night to look out for each other?"

"I'll do it!" Luffy said, hand shooting up so fast it stretched and smacked the ceiling, bringing down dust. "Usopp, come with me!"

"What?!" Usopp cried.

"You just said we don't have anything to worry about, right?" Nami said, grinning. "What's the problem, tough guy?"

Usopp gulped. "Um . . . nothing! Nothing at all!"

* * *

"Now, you're _sure_ you don't want someone to stay up with you?" Zoro said to Usopp as the others got ready for bed, Vivi already sleeping in the women's quarters.

"I'm sure," Usopp said bravely.

"Okay. Just so you know, I plan to sleep like a rock."

"How can you _plan _to sleep a certain way?"

"I've had a lot of practice." Zoro clapped him on the shoulder, gave a nod to Luffy, and left.

"Are we gonna be okay?" Usopp whispered.

"Sure!" Luffy said, grinning. "I wanna see this mystery person!"

"But if the same thing happens, we won't remember what they look like! And aren't you scared about getting knocked out?!"

"Nope! The others were never hurt, right? And no one ever attacked at those times."

"_Still—_"

"Okay, you take that side, I'll take this side!"

Luffy bounced away to the bow before Usopp could protest, and so he sullenly trudged to the stern.

* * *

Vivi laid Luffy to sleep against the bow's railing. She had taken care of Usopp swiftly, now knowing his penchant for being noisy, and they both lay fast asleep on opposite ends of the ship.

It was maybe an hour later when Luffy and Usopp woke up and ran across the ship, crashing into each other and falling down.

"It happened!" Usopp shrieked. "I don't remember a thing, but I just woke up!"

"Yeah, me too!" Luffy exclaimed through his mouthful of food.

Usopp squinted at him and looked at the plate in his hands. "Where'd you get that?"

Luffy swallowed some. "It was next to me when I woke up," he explained. "It's really good, too!"

"Come to think of it . . ." Usopp returned to the bow and came back with a plate of his own. "Fried potatoes . . . who did this?"

"The mystery person, obviously," Luffy said, still eating.

"Stop that! What if it's poisoned?!"

"It's not."

"How do you know?!"

"Because the coffee Sanji got wasn't poison," Luffy explained. "And also I'm almost done with it and I don't feel sick."

"Don't just eat stuff you find on the—!" Usopp tried some of his. "Oh, it _is_ good."

They ate together in silence.

* * *

"_Both_ of you?" Sanji said in exasperation. Vivi struggled not to fall asleep at the table while Luffy and Usopp nodded.

"And whoever it was left food," Luffy added. "So it wasn't you, Sanji!"

"What?"

"It wasn't your cooking. It was good, though."

"This is really strange," Nami said. "No one's been hurt, despite being knocked out . . . so we can assume this stranger doesn't want to hurt us, right?"

"Right," the others said.

"And everyone wakes up to find something's been done for them . . . something's been cleaned, or they found food for them . . ."

They nodded.

"Is this a person desperate to do chores for others?" Nami said, staring at her food in deep thought. "Because if nothing else is being changed, that seems to be the case . . . but then, why bother knocking anyone out in the first place? Why not just ask?"

"And how are they getting on the ship?" Zoro added. "The last thing any of us knew before passing out was hearing something . . . right?"

"Right," Luffy, Usopp, and Sanji said.

"But it wasn't something approaching in the _water_."

"Could they be hiding on-board?" Sanji said, suddenly serious. "If someone stowed away at Whiskey Peak—Vivi-_chan?" _

"Yes?!" she exclaimed, jolting awake. Sanji frowned.

"Are you okay, my dear?" he said in worry.

"Just tired," she said, stifling a yawn.

"Get some sleep after breakfast," he said gently. "In any case—do you know of anyone from that place, Whiskey Peak, who would do this? They were all members of Baroque Works, after all . . ."

"I can't think of anyone," Vivi said, shaking her head and staring at her plate.

"W—We should search the ship!" Usopp said bravely. "If we _d-do _find someone—it seems they don't want to hurt us, right? So there's no danger! No danger!"

"Yeah, good idea," Luffy said. "Let's go! After breakfast!"

* * *

But a thorough scouring of Merry from top to bottom twice found no one but the Strawhats plus Vivi and Karoo. A short discussion later and everyone agreed to leave the situation be for the time.

And so, a week or two passed like that: The lookout that night would mysteriously fall asleep and wake up to find something had been done for them; a chore, and maybe even a snack or drink next to them. Even when two or three took watch at once, each one would find themselves waking up next to each other in the same situation. Vivi, of course, pretended the same thing happened to her whenever she took watch.

The Strawhats were very close to Little Garden when Luffy put his foot down.

"I'm just too curious!" he exclaimed at dinner.

"What?" Usopp exclaimed, almost throwing his fork in the air in surprise.

"Look, this mystery person of the night isn't hurting us, but I really wanna see what they look like!" he whined.

"You only wanna see what they look like?" Zoro muttered. "Not know their goals?"

"They seem to wanna help us out, so that's not important anyway," Luffy explained. "But I wanna see them, for once!"

"I've been thinking about that," Nami admitted, "for a few days. We know they're not some stowaway, nor invisible, since we would've run into them when we searched the ship . . ."

The others nodded, Vivi squirming in her seat as she fed Karoo under the table.

". . . And we can be reasonably sure they're not approaching from the water, because we haven't seen anyone following us or heard anything . . ."

The others nodded again.

". . . So the most plausible thing I can think of is that it's _someone in this room_."

At this everyone froze and looked around at each other.

"But why would one of us . . . ?" Usopp said timidly.

"That's what I want to know."

"If it _is_ someone here, we can rule out Sanji," Luffy said.

"Why?" Sanji said, pleased to be free of suspicion nonetheless.

"Whenever someone leaves food, it's good, but it's not your cooking," Luffy explained. "Right?"

"He could be disguising it by making it differently," Zoro suggested. Sanji shot him a glare.

"No, Luffy's right, Sanji-_kun_'s too uptight to do something like that," Nami agreed. Sanji nodded but then paused, realizing what she'd said. "And that's a good point . . . the food. It must be someone who can cook, so we can rule out Luffy as well."

"Well, of course it's not me," Luffy said, folding his arms indignantly.

"Vivi, you haven't exactly lived as a princess for some time, right?" Nami said. "I can only imagine you know something about cooking. I can cook as well, and Usopp and Zoro . . . ?"

"I know basic stuff," Zoro said in the interest of being fair. "If I put in some effort, I could probably make some of the food that's been showing up like that . . . but it wasn't me."

"Same here," Usopp said with a nod, determined to follow Zoro's example. "But it wasn't me!"

"I think we could rule out Zoro, too," Nami said. "Because I'm not sure he knows where the cleaning supplies even are, let alone how to do a good job scrubbing floors."

"Hey," Zoro muttered. "Don't rule me out because of something like that."

"Yeah, it wasn't Zoro," Luffy agreed. Zoro rolled his eyes and slumped in his chair.

"Then it was Nami or Vivi," Usopp said.

"Or you," Nami hissed.

"I _know_ it wasn't me, so—"

"And I _know_ it wasn't me!"

They looked at Vivi.

"It's not you, is it?" Usopp said.

"Of course I haven't been drinking your blood," Vivi said quickly.

"Right, see?" Nami said. "We can all say 'it wasn't me,' but if we stick with the theory that it _is_ one of us, that means nothing!"

"Okay, I see your point," Usopp exclaimed, holding up his hands. "Since we've narrowed it down this much, let's—"

He and the others suddenly turned to Vivi.

"Um," Nami said. "Vivi, _what_ did you say?"

"I said it wasn't me," Vivi said, biting her lip.

"No way!" Luffy exclaimed. "You said drinking blood!"

"_Now_ you pay attention to what people say?" Zoro muttered. "But, he's right. Vivi, what do you mean?"

"Vivi-_chan?" _Sanji said.

Vivi shrank under their stares. "I—" She stood, knocking her chair over. "I'm sorry!"

She ran from the room.

"Vivi, _wait!" _Nami exclaimed, standing and running after her.

"Vivi-_chan!" _Sanji called, going with her.

* * *

Vivi flinched at the knock on the door. She sat against the wall just inside the door to the women's quarters.

"Vivi?" came Nami's voice. Sanji called for her, too, but there were some crashing sounds and footsteps sadly trudging away.

"I'm coming in." The door was opened and Nami stepped inside, shutting it and sitting next to Vivi.

"So it was you?" she said.

Vivi nodded, not looking at her.

"What the hell is this all about, anyway?"

"I'm a vampire," Vivi whispered. "I'm sorry, I promised Igaram I wouldn't tell anyone—I can find my own way if you don't want me here."

"Shut up," Nami said, smacking her shoulder. "We're not kicking you off. What about that billion-beri award, huh?"

Vivi finally looked at her, and Nami grinned.

"Let's go tell the others," she said, standing and offering a hand. Vivi accepted and let herself be led outside again.

* * *

"So you're a vampire," Usopp said.

Vivi nodded.

"You've been taking our blood every night and wiping our memories," Zoro added.

Vivi nodded.

"And you were bringing out snacks and doing chores to make up for it," Sanji finished.

Vivi nodded.

Usopp buried his head in his knees and started whimpering; Luffy leaned forward with a big grin.

"Well, geez, you should've told us earlier!" he exclaimed into Vivi's startled face. "Vampires are way cool!"

"They are _not!" _Usopp shrieked. "Vivi is an exception, though! An exception!"

"I'm sorry!" Vivi exclaimed again, bowing her head.

"You did nothing wrong, Vivi-_chan!" _Sanji declared, throwing his arms wide with a reassuring smile.

"Yes, she did, but it doesn't really matter now," Zoro muttered. "Anything else you wanna share, Vivi?"

She shook her head. "Only . . . I can't eat regular food. I'm so sorry, Sanji-_san_."

"Oh," he said in disappointment. "Very well! That clears up a lot!"

They talked until they knew everything they needed to know about vampirism. By that time, Usopp had calmed down, and Luffy's excitement was through the roof.

* * *

"Does it have to be from the neck?"

"What?" Vivi exclaimed, having been coming out to the deck where Zoro kept watch.

"You need blood, right? Does it have to be from the neck?"

"No . . . ?"

He held out his arm. "Go on, then."

She took his arm and bit into it, withdrawing soon and sealing the cuts.

"Thank you," she whispered. "I can make you some food . . ."

"This could've been avoided if you'd just asked in the first place," he said, lips twitching. "I'm not hungry, but I could go for some booze."

Vivi ran off and returned with a bottle.

"Thanks. Want some?"

"No, thank you."


	129. Canine Companions

**Supernatural requested the Heart Pirates (on Zou) reacting to all WW SH! Sorry this one's so short, there wasn't a lot to work with. **

**Non-humans: WW everyone (not all are shown)**

* * *

"Oi, _captain!" _Shachi exclaimed, grabbing Law's shoulder before he could escape as Bepo finally released him. "This is a little weird, but none of us have had the courage to ask . . ."

"About what?" Law said.

"Those Strawhat guys," Penguin said, pointing to them; Nami's tail wagged as she talked with Wanda and Luffy was trying to pull the dog minks off of Brook, insisting the crew were the only ones allowed to chew on him. While Brook protested loudly, Penguin continued, "They . . . all have tails, except for the skele-man, and the new arrivals, too! Are they all mink descendants?"

"No," Law said. "They're werewolves."

Murmurs of understanding went around the crew, which slowly escalated into screams of shock.

"You were on a ship with _werewolves?!" _Bepo cried.

"Was it terrifying?!"

"Was it horrifying?!"

"Was it awful?!"

"No," Law said again. He rolled his eyes towards the group. "They're basically puppies."

"Did they . . . try to _eat_ you?"

"No. Excuse me."

Law promptly left to talk to Luffy, leaving his crew indignantly staring at him.


End file.
